Saturday, November 08, 2008
I was sitting eating some home made mac & cheese the other day -- and not the kind that comes out of the box, either, really home made from scratch. And it's really, really good. Not exactly low fat, but I'm careful to only eat it now and again, and it does at least have butternut squash in it.
Food, for me, can be an almost orgasmic pleasure (can we say that here?). I can remember restaurants I ate at 20 years ago by their scrumptious crepes with vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce. And it's not just sweets, either. Anything that is truly yummy to me -- even if that's a whole grain dish -- can just float my boat.
And that's where my aha! moment came in. I realized how much more satisfaction I get from eating real food vs eating food that comes out of a box -- whether that be mac & cheese, or a frozen entree. Sure, many box foods taste good; they can even be addictive . . . but they do NOT taste anywhere nearly as good as good food I make myself (although a good restaurant meal is even better, because I didn't have to wash dishes to get it).
It's okay to get this kind of pleasure from "real" food, too -- not so much if all you're eating is chocolate, ding dongs, and cheez whiz -- none of which is "real" food. Okay, yes, chocolate is real food, you got me there. We SHOULD get this kind of pleasure from our food.
If you're eating your food in the car out of a box, or standing up, or throwing out the wrappers and burying them in the trash so no one will see, then you're only cheating yourself. You're denying yourself the pleasure of eating, and why is that? Because you think you're not worthy of a home cooked meal?
Don't get me wrong, of course I know that sometimes your food will be eaten in the car, or out of a box. Life does happen. But if all your food is eaten that way, then you're truly not treating yourself well, and you have to take a good, hard look at the choices you are making -- and how they are effecting your life.
Take time out today. Really enjoy at the very least one meal. Eat it sitting down, with the tv off and no book open, off of real plates. Notice how you feel afterwards. Do you feel satisfied? Nourished? Full? Remember that feeling the next time you're tempted to eat while watching tv or madly dashing off to the next event.
Friday, November 07, 2008
. . . got up and went. I always feel that way this time of year. The shorter days just do me in -- I have no motivation to move at all after it gets dark, and it gets dark way too early. It's a struggle to force myself to exercise. I do it, but my workouts don't always energize me.
I have no excuse today. It was an absolutely, stunningly goregeous day. Low to mid 70s. Bright blue sky. I got up, did the normal feeding circus, knitted for a while while watching the news, walked the dogs, went to my meeting. Came home, ate lunch, watched a tv show. Did my strength training. Emptied the dishwasher & started refilling it. Took the dogs around the block to get the mail, made dinner. Most people do all those things *and* work 8 or more hours a day.
When I thought about writing this blog earlier, I still hadn't finished emptying the dishwasher, and the new dirty dishes were piling up, but I managed to finish that off while I was making my tea after dinner. Still, yesterday's laundry still lies untouched in the dryer.
The scale has been moving in the wrong direction, too. Not much, just barely half a pound, but I had small gains the past couple of weeks, which is unusual for me -- usually I'll have a small gain and then lose the next week. I've addressed some of the little things that I think may have been tripping me up: the little pieces of chocolate (I moved it to a cabinet where I wouldn't see it 10 times a day); the ciabattini rolls that were so great, and I even hollowed them out, but they still weren't exactly small -- I bought some whole wheat hamburger buns this week instead.
My gains may also be due to the reintroduction of weight training. My month of Zumba included toning, but with very light weights (really, really light weights), and I'm back to training with heavier weights. Only I don't feel thinner; I wasn't really surprised to see a gain this week -- although hope does spring eternal.
Do I have a point? Not really. Just venting a bit. My motivation to lose weight is still high, but it's sort of a the mind is willing but the body isn't sort of thing.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
That's what I read in a magazine article today when I stopped at the bookstore. The article went on to say that you have to believe in yourself, of course.
I don't think it's desire that works. It's fair to say that the vast majority of people who end up on this site truly do have a desire to lose weight. If they don't -- if they're doing it to please someone else or mollify their doctor, then they most likely won't succeed. There are plenty of people on SP who have the desire, but won't make it.
Belief, as I wrote yesterday, is another story. Belief works. We have to believe we will do this, even when the scale goes up when we don't think it should. We have to believe we will do this, even when the scale stays stuck for weeks or even months.
There are times when it does seem too hard or too time consuming. I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night, and I was pretty tired today. I did my exercise, I made myself a healthy lunch, but when I got to the bookstore I found myself briefly wondering why can't I go get myself a treat? Really, what difference will one high fat, sugar laden cookie make in the scheme of things?
I won't keep you in suspense; I didn't get the cookie. It probably didn't help that I was just a little bit hungry, even though I'd had a healthy snack before hitting the bookstore. I will have a home made treat tonight. One that isn't quite so high fat or sugar laden, but still quite satisfying (and chocolate, of course); one that I made myself, so I know what's in it -- down to the blueberries & spinach (yes, that's right, you'd never know they're in there).
That article was part of what helped me resist the cookie. The scale hasn't been moving much lately. That's not so bad, except for the fact that I feel pudgy. It's a couple of weeks before TOM, though, and often I do feel pudgy around now.
One thing I know for sure: I know where I get when I let myself go. I don't want to go there again. I feel so much better, and I know that while getting to goal weight won't make my problems magically disappear, it will make me feel good about myself. And I'm worth it.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Ok, I just couldn't help injecting a little advice from our president-elect (in the US, that is). In all these many months of campaigning, I didn't stop to think about how pertinent Obama's advice is for those trying to make a lifestyle change, no matter what that change may be.
"Yes, we can". Believe in yourself. It will get you through the good times *and* the bad times.
"Change we can believe in". This goes hand in hand with the above statement. We have to believe that the changes we make are changes we can sustain for the rest of our lives.
I didn't plan this blog; it just came to me. But these sentiments are truly at the bottom of lifestyle changes. Believe, believe, believer. And of course never give up.
"I just kept on doing what everyone starts out doing. The real question is, why did other people stop?"
-- William Stafford
Why do we stop? Why do we give up? Often times it's frustration at a scale that won't budge. Which is why it's so important to not go only by the scale, and why the scale isn't the end-all and be-all of measurements. I haven't lost much weight recently, I don't feel thinner, but I have dropped another inch off my waist (can't say as I feel it) -- and in the photos my husband took yesterday, I can actually see some changes in my body -- even if I can't feel them.
Sometimes it's what we think is a lack of will power, but the truth is, it's changes that are too radical that we can't sustain, whether that's too much exercise or too restrictive eating.
Sometimes we just lose the faith. We figure that we were just meant to be fat; why fight it?
I have been there, done that with all of this. And I'm done. The number isn't important -- how I *feel* is important. If I want something, I have something -- but I enjoy it; no more furtive eating for me. I can take a break from exercising without ballooning up overnight.
And my wandering blog is back to balance yet again.
Monday, November 03, 2008
What are you worth? Your loved ones, hopefully, think you're worth a lot. But what do you think you're worth? Are you worth the time it takes to prepare a healthy meal? Are you worth the time it takes to get to bed on time? Are you worth making time for exercise?
If you don't think you're worth it, you won't be.
While it may seem selfish to put yourself first, how will you help your loved ones if you're so tired from lack of sleep, good food, and exercise that you can barely move?
I got this subject from watching Oprah's show about "The Biggest Loser". I don't like the show, although I'll admit I've never watched it. What I don't like about it is that it's totally unrealistic. Normal people do not have 6 hours a day to exercise. Most of us are doing well to squeeze in half an hour or an hour.
I must say, they did a fair job: they showed a few of the past winners who are struggling now. It's easy for me to sit here and be holier than thou, except I can't be: I've struggled for most of my adult life. For all I know, I'll continue to struggle for the rest of my adult life. But I know that this isn't something I do until I get down to my goal weight; this is my life.
This is what my life will always be like: plenty of exercise, planning meals, cooking meals, examing what works and what doesn't, and always being mindful of what I'm putting into my mouth. Most of the time I'm ok with it; sometimes I'm not -- but that's what life is like, up and down. I'm worth it.
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