Sunday, April 06, 2008
This is a quote that I pasted into my visual collage, which I keep in my journal. So after I journal each day, I look through my visual collage.
One thing I've seen a lot, in myself and others, is trying for a weight that we look great at . . . but can't possibly maintain. I am speaking with the wisdom of about 20 or so years spent "dieting", being a former Weight Watchers leader, and just learning & reading about weight loss what seems like all the time.
So yeah, I did it too. I am very short, 5'1", so I ought to be pretty light, too (I will never be skinny). In fact, I was almost skinny when I got to my goal weight the first time with Weight Watchers. For all of about 5 minutes. Sort of like Oprah and her Optifast diet.
Yes, I looked good. Clothes were even hard to find -- I generally wore a size 4, sometimes even a size 2 or 0.
But I had to nearly starve myself to get to that weight. Not literally; I was never bulimic or anorexic, thank God. But I couldn't eat the way I wanted to eat. And yes, I gained weight. I had to learn to accept that my happy weight isn't that thin, no matter what the height/weight tables say. I have had to learn to accept the fact that I'll never be a size 4 again, even if that's what I "ought" to be. Of course, right now, I'd just be happy to get out of the double digits, but that will take a while. A long while.
So as you're nearing your goal weight, or at it (and no, I am nowhere near mine at the moment), I want you to really think about what your happy weight is. Not the size pants you want to wear (because we all know sizes vary from manufacturer to manufacturer, anyway). Not the weight you weighed in high school or college or when you got married. Not the weight someone or thing says you should be.
What was the weight that you could happily maintain? That allowed you to have a social life, but still be healthy? That didn't make you obssess over every morsel or exercise like a maniac because you'd been "bad"?
That's your happy weight. Make that your goal. And if you manage to lose a little more and keep it off, it's the cherry on top. But if you don't, just let it go. Life is too short to worry that much about a number.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
I think it was on my 1 Day Challenge team that today's challenge was to enjoy a sport. And that was a toughie for me. I'm really just not into sports at all. Of course, you do what appeals to you, and I don't have to do it -- but I thought about it, and finally came up with a sport -- agility (for the dogs). I have to run around while I'm getting them over obstacles. Today is gorgeous, and we haven't practiced in forever.
You can see the dogs doing agility practice in my blog :
I took the dogs to the farmers' market this morning. They love it. Lola, who tends to be reactive around other dogs, never even notices them because she's too busy trying to make sure the ground is crumb-free.
I got spinach, baby lettuce mix, macaroons (no sugar; they use agave); and these this site that makes awesome gluten-free sandwiches. I got a veggie muffelatta and a chicken hatch queso -- plus, yes, a gluten free brownie. A girl's got to have a little fun.
Then I walked the dogs over to Petsmart, which is about 3/4 miles away, and then back. I'd also walked them around the block before leaving, to make sure they were "empty", so all in all, I got quite a bit of walking in -- over an hour, not counting the time meandering around the farmer's market.
Just about time to get that chicken hatch queso sandwich &head outside for lunch!
Friday, April 04, 2008
I voluteer at a friends' small cat rescue on Thursdays. And as I was driving up yesterday, I had an aha! moment.
My parents, neither of whom have been thin for many, many years, are very judgemental about other people's weight (my own included). They are always commenting on a celebrity who has gained weight, or even just someone on the street. Always talking about them negatively.
Now, I have read Tolle's "A New Earth,", front to back, but I am also rereading it and taking the classes -- but have fallen behind because of life at the moment, so I'm still working on Chapter 3.
But suddenly I had an aha! moment. I think my parents are talking about other people's weight as a way to make themselves feel better that they aren't thinner and aren't trying harder.
And it's hard to get that voice out of my head, too. There was a lot of "you'd be pretty if you just lost the weight" when I was growing up. And there's lots of congratulations when I'm thin, and lots of silence when I'm heavy (like now).
Plus I find myself being very judgemental about people's weight sometimes. too. Not always of course, and usually with total strangers. I'm always looking at other people and comparing myself to them. Which is silly, I know, because thin isn't everything. Thin doesn't necessarily mean happy. I also know that when I get to my goal weight, all my problems don't magically disappear.
So it's something I continue to work on. And I was aware of this in myself beforehand, but didn't really think about where it came from and why my parents are that way. We're always learning and growing!
Thursday, April 03, 2008
One of the teams I'm planning to join had a challenge of sharing something beautiful. Ok, I don't think this qualifies as beautiful, but it is pretty. I took a photo of the dogs in our wild roses patch out back. They're weeds, really, but a weed is simply a flower out of place, after all.
This recipe was taken from Ellie Krieger's "The Foods You Crave", and just modified slightly (which is why I haven't submitted it as a recipe). But it was really good, so I thought I'd share!
1 lb salmon fillet
2 tbsp dark brown sugar
1/2 tbsp chili powder
1 tsp ground cumin
Pinch salt (or to taste)
1 tbsp oil
1. Preheat oven to 375
2. Combine the sugar, chili powder, cumin, and salt & mix
3. Rub dry rub onto salmon (not the side with the skin)
4. Drizzle oil over the dry rub, and rub in if you want
5. Bake 25 minutes, or til done, depending on the thickness of your fillet
I'll be experimenting with this in coming weeks, seeing how little sugar I can get away with. It's only about 300 calories, even so; works out to about 1/2 tbsp per serving
I want to thank those who have recently sent sparkgoodies -- I'll be getting to you! I've been a bit behind lately.
But I'm beginning to feel more like myself, and my energy is coming back. I did joggin intervals while walking the dogs on their morning walk today, when just a few days ago just a 20 minute walk was a real effort.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Jealousy, that is. Yes, I admit it, I do get jealous of the people who lose weight easily. Or the ones who can eat anything they want to and stay thin.
I read before & afters in magazines a lot, and oftentimes you read "I just gave up the fried, the fast food, the sweets, the soda, whatever, and the weight just melted off me."
And I'm so envious. Because weight has never melted off me. I gave up the fried, the soda, etc. a long, long time ago. I rarely eat fast food. I only go out to eat about once a week. I exercise. And I just have to accept that it's harder for me than it is for some people. It's not always easy.
And then, of course, there's the naturally thin people. Some are very active. Some don't really eat a lot. But then there's my niece. She inherited her father's genes, luckily not our side of the family. Because I watched her last weekend, and she eats a lot! And she's thin. And beautiful. Of course, she does do both tennis & crew at home, so that probably has a lot to do with it, too, and at her age, I was a total couch potato and I binged.
So my goals for the month:
1800 cardio minutes
A minimum of 30 spark points a day
Drink 8 glasses of water 5 days a week
Blog five days a week
Eat salads for lunch or dinner 3 days a week
You'll notice I don't have a weight goal in there. Not even for inches. It's just too darn difficult for me to predict when the weight will come off, so I try to avoid weight goals. I have the long term goal of losing 10% of my body weight in one year, but for now, I need to keep my goals something I can measure and have some control over.
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