JLITT62   52,035
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The green eyed-monster

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Jealousy, that is. Yes, I admit it, I do get jealous of the people who lose weight easily. Or the ones who can eat anything they want to and stay thin.

I read before & afters in magazines a lot, and oftentimes you read "I just gave up the fried, the fast food, the sweets, the soda, whatever, and the weight just melted off me."

And I'm so envious. Because weight has never melted off me. I gave up the fried, the soda, etc. a long, long time ago. I rarely eat fast food. I only go out to eat about once a week. I exercise. And I just have to accept that it's harder for me than it is for some people. It's not always easy.

And then, of course, there's the naturally thin people. Some are very active. Some don't really eat a lot. But then there's my niece. She inherited her father's genes, luckily not our side of the family. Because I watched her last weekend, and she eats a lot! And she's thin. And beautiful. Of course, she does do both tennis & crew at home, so that probably has a lot to do with it, too, and at her age, I was a total couch potato and I binged.

So my goals for the month:

1800 cardio minutes
A minimum of 30 spark points a day
Drink 8 glasses of water 5 days a week
Blog five days a week
Eat salads for lunch or dinner 3 days a week

You'll notice I don't have a weight goal in there. Not even for inches. It's just too darn difficult for me to predict when the weight will come off, so I try to avoid weight goals. I have the long term goal of losing 10% of my body weight in one year, but for now, I need to keep my goals something I can measure and have some control over.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JULIECANDLER 4/8/2008 6:15PM

    I had an epiphany on this one. If you were to talk to those "oh so thin" folks and discover that they don't "eat whatever they want". It was amazing to find out that they have a different relationship with food. I've been whacked by the realization that losing weight does not equal happiness. That put 10# back on of the original 80 I lost. Back to the hard work. I've enjoyed your blog (a first for me) the candor is just the ticket!

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AQUARIJEN 4/3/2008 2:31PM

    I feel ya, sister.
I gave up fried. I gave up fast food. I gave up artificial sweeteners.
My scale? Not a pound, baby. One thing though is that my triglycerides dropped to 55, and total cholesterol fell to 170. Maybe I don't look different, but something *is* different.
My newest thing is to make the change of not eating corn syrup. We'll see what that does. But even if it doesn't show up on the scale, I'll know I'm healthier for it and right now, that just has to be enough. I wrote a goal down, but I think my real goal is to just not gain weight. ;)

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AHHHME 4/3/2008 2:19AM

    Hey Buddy! :) It's normal to feel jealous sometimes - it's the human part of being remember?! ha :) It happens to all of us. The great thing is you are aware of what your feeling and regardless of how some of it may be negative - you're still doing your program. Keep on keepin' on - it will happen.

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SKINNYNANNY 4/2/2008 7:35PM

    being healthy doesn't necessarily mean thin. some of us just aren't thin types. That is o.k. IF you are healthy, have good health, good habits, and it sounds like you do; then you should be proud of what you have accomplished. Remember there is always some one smaller, but there is also always someone bigger, so just practice those great habits, and keep on working towards your goals. I will never be small, never have been since my body started developing, and after 4 kids and gravity working on my body, I probably won't be a size 12 again. but I will be in better shape, and I will live a healthier life. sounds like you are ahead of me on those counts! Also, men are unfairly at a advantage as far as losing goes, we are made to store fat and curves for mothering, they don't have those needs; so they lose it faster. They also have more heart problems, and die sooner on average, so I guess perhaps it evens out in the long run?
The scale does not determine who we are or our success, in my eyes, you are being very successful, and your health should show that!
skinnynanny

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KARBIE18 4/2/2008 5:31PM

    Since you've been here for a month or so, you probably realize that you are not alone! I'm right there with you. I could have written this blog. I gave up french fries in the 80s, Pepsi in the 90s, and fast food and white bread around the the beginning of the 2000s, but am still struggling. I did find out I have a thyroid problem, but even after starting the meds, although I can lose again (or at least before this plateau hit I could) it's been SLOOOOW. About a half pound a week average, with many weeks that showed no loss at all. After three and a half weeks in a row with no change, I put my scale in the closet, and decided to weigh in once a month. I'm determined to focus on all of the things I'm doing right rather than that darn number. Good luck to you, and I'll be rooting for you.
~Karen

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FOSSILPOINT 4/2/2008 2:29PM

  Pat yourself on the back! You are recognizing you are unique and your weight loss will be just that for you as it is for me and everyone else, too.
I like your plan of water 5 x a week, salads for lunch and dinner 3 x week, your blogging through the week and your WOW - 1800 cardio minutes. What may I ask do you do for cardio minutes? What types of exercise and when? When I was more active and younger - I did not have a weight concern. It ALL happened after the birth of our daughter and my age hormonal changes......Yet, I see others who have had children and are my age or older and THIN! WOW .....hard work or genes I am sure or both. Keep in touch. Jacki

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PATTYHUDSON1 4/2/2008 11:20AM

    hang in there. I am going through the same thing with my hubby. He walks 18 holes of golf at least 3 days a week plus rides 20 miles on the exercise bike about 5 nights a week. But the butthead also eats out for lunch every single day, and will go on beer drinking binges that have got to amount to a HUGE amount of calories, and yet, he still has lost more weight than me. I do my 30 to 45 minutes of cardio a day, my stregnth exercises 3 times a week, eat right every day but saturdays, i am at least 10 lbs behind him on the weight loss plan. makes me mad. it's not fair that he can drink beer for 6 hours and not be slowed down in his weight loss. i think it has something to do with the carbs. no carbs in beer. when i over eat on saturdays, it's heavy in carbs. ?? may have something to do with it, i don't know, all i know is IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!

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Conquering Willy Wonka

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

One of the things my brother did at the Bat Mitzvah was to set up a candy bar. He had all sorts of penny candy, and hand painted jars for the guests to take candy home in. Luckily, just plain sugar isn't my thing. Chocolate, or sugar & fat, is. So I was easily able to resist. Things like tootsie rolls & jelly beans really aren't tempting to me. Not to mention the jars had a lot of the paint rubbed off, and that was my favor -- I spent hours on Thursday fixing most of them. I definitely had no desire to take one home!

I had planned to enjoy the meal and the dessert. I'd worked really hard the entire week before the Bat Mitzvah, with plenty of exercise and really healthy eating. The dessert was actually three small desserts: a cheesecake, a fruit tart, and a chocolate cake.

I took a bite of the fruit tart, but if I'm going to splurge, it's got to be really good, and it wasn't, so I left the rest. The cheesecake was quite good, and I ate most of that. The chocolate cake, sadly, wasn't that tempting, either, so I only took a bite of that.

I never deny myself anything, but if I do decide to eat dessert, it's got to be really good. I won't eat it just because it's there, and with a normal size dessert, I'll share it with my husband.

Cookies can be problematic for me, so most of the time I just don't keep them in the house. Although I do buy some large vegan chocolate chip cookies at Whole Foods, but I put them in the back of the refrigerator, and only have half a cookie once or twice a week, generally on days I've worked out particularly hard, like when I take the dogs to agility.

I've been really tired because of the antibiotics I'm taking, so I haven't been exercising as much as normal. Luckily, I also haven't been quite as hungry, so hopefully that will balance out. I only have a couple of more days and then I'm done with them. I'm looking forward to having some energy again.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AHHHME 4/1/2008 10:42PM

    Hi :) I really admire your control with sweets and food in general! I'm just now learning (believe it or not) that if doesn't taste good I don't have to eat it! The whole starving children scenario - I am a member of the Clean Plate Club. Why it didn't start occurring to me way earlier in my adulthood that my health was more important than some leftover food... Doesn't matter though because I am more aware now! :) I hope you can get some extra rest to combat the antibiotics - you always need extra sleep when you are healing anyway - plus you've been traveling. Traveling wipes me out! :) I'm glad you're going to join the BE KIND team. I think it's going to be great; but, it'll be better with you. :)

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Home sweet home

Monday, March 31, 2008

Well, I made it home, finally, only about three hours late (about 1:30 am). Now, of course, my eye is almost back to normal. Talk about timing! I did fairly well eating-wise most of the time. Yesterday was hard, since my husband had to leave in the morning and I didn't leave until late evening as it turned out, and I was at the mercy of my family.

I got in my walk every day except for yesterday. I'm pretty committed when it comes to exercise, so that's not usually a problem. I think my biggest problem is just portion control. I like large portions, always have, and of course as I get older, you just can't eat as much, and healthy eating becomes even more important.

I've had my thyroid tested a bunch of times, and it's always been normal. I had a personal trainer, who was also a nurse, for quite a while who was just convinced that I had a thyroid problem. As much as I'd love to blame my weight on my thyroid, I'm also happier to be healthy.

So I wasn't happy with my weight. I definitely wasn't happy with my photos. But I knew that would happen. So now I'm just more determined to do my best, take it one day at a time & slowly, and get the weight off. I'm hoping that maybe in a year I can lose ten per cent of my body weight. Sure, I'd like to lose more, but that is a reasonable goal.

I can remember how about ten years ago we went on a cruise, and I felt so heavy then. Well, I've gained about thirty pounds since then. Now I'd be happy to look like that again!

But I will. I know I will. It'll just take hard work and time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AHHHME 3/31/2008 8:40PM

    I'm glad you made it back safely!! You definitely will make your goal! I know exactly how you feel about looking back on times when you didn't good about how you looked, etc. Ironically I also I have a somewhat recent cruise in my past where I was thinking the exact samething as you. We should just get our CRUISE on. :) hahah :)

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OLIVEJUICE2 3/31/2008 1:13PM

    You WILL get there! And yes, you got it right: time & hard work will get you where you want to be! 10% is an excellent goal! Baby steps! The first steps are the hardest, but you are on your way!! YAY!!

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The best laid plans

Friday, March 28, 2008

I spent so much time worrying how I would look at my niece's Bat Mitzvah, searching for a dress that would be flattering. And then a few days ago I thought I was getting a pimple above my eyebrow; it had that stretched, achy feeling.

Yesterday the sking around my eye started to swell. This morning we went to a walk-in clinic, since it's even more swollen, red, and tender. They're not quite sure what's wrong, but think maybe it's an infection under my the skin. So I'm on antibiotics. And I can't wear my contacts. And no one will notice my dresses, they'll just be staring at my eye! Oh well, it's not my day. But it is a pain.

Oh, and people have asked where my tracker is. I don't weigh myself; I don't have a scale, or even access to one, so it's kind of a moot point. They did weigh me at the doctor's, and it wasn't pretty. The weird thing is I was almost right-on with my estimation of my weight.

Eating hasn't been too bad, mostly. My mom did serve coconut shrimp & chicken wings (I swear sometimes she wouldn't recognize healthy food if it hit her), but she did at least have a large spinach salad. And since I did a big favor for my brother the next day, he fed me a great salad for lunch & sushi for dinner.

I've been able to get my walking in, but I'll skip my weight training today (I travel with resistance bands) because I'm really wiped out.

Hopefully the antibiotics will kick in quickly & I'll feel better. Nothing sucks so much as being sick all by yourself, since my husband will go back to where he's living for work Sunday, and I'll head home.

Oh, and the weight thing. I'm trying to use it as incentive. It's why I don't weigh myself, it's just so depressing to be that heavy,

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AHHHME 3/29/2008 1:42AM

    Hey Buddy :) I'm sorry you aren't feeling well! I know how it feels when you see people you haven't seen in awhile - you want to look your best - especially at an event. It just can't be helped - try to get some rest and enjoy the time you have with them. They love you - they don't give a hoot what you look like - you know what I mean? I mean if your cousin has this same problem would you judge her - nooo - you'd say ouch! but it's good to see you. ;) I'm glad your brother is supportive in your healthy eating efforts - even if he is doing it out of indebtedness! ha :) It's AWESOME that you've gotten your walking in!! Very good job! I haven't been exercising and I don't even have antibiotics as an excuse. ;) You are great!!!

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JENNIFER124 3/28/2008 9:27PM

    yes, you definetely sound down.... try to use this forum to its most maximum.... ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!! easily said -- not easily done but it is all we can do in a given day..... keep the faith,,,,jen

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RENA1965 3/28/2008 8:57PM

    Hi JLITT62, I hope you get well real soon. I understand your feeling down, but try to enjoy your nieces Bat Mitzvah all the same. cheers Rena

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TANNEB 3/28/2008 8:22PM

    Hope all is well with your eye!

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Leaving on a jet plane

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I have worked really hard for this break; I don't call family affairs vacations, since you never get to do what you want, when you want. Still, I've worked hard, and I know I have done my very best. In fact, my mantra is:

I have worked too hard to blow it.

I have had many other times when I wanted to be "good" before an event, but seemed more out of control than ever. So what made this time different? I'm not quite sure. Maybe just at a different point in my life.

Journaling helps a lot. In addition to blogging here, I journal (almost) every morning. It's part of Julia Cameron's "Writing Diet". Basically, if you're familiar with "The Artist's Way", it's morning pages. I don't know why, but they really seem to work. You just write three pages, stream of consciousness, longhand, in the morning. It helps declutter your mind.

I have written down my action plan for this break in my travel journal (sometimes my regular journal is too bulky to bring along, especially when I'm trying not to check bags). I have also written down why exercise is important to me, and the reasons I want to lose weight.

I know that no one will realize I've lost any weight at all. At last check, I'd lost a couple of inches around my waist & hips (I'm hoping a little more now, but I've been stuck for a while). But I'm probably back to the weight they last saw me at, or maybe even just a tad heavier. So that's disappointing. It's always nice to hear others acknowledging your hard work.

It's also disappointing that I am not completely happy with the way I look in my dresses. I most likely won't like photos of myself. But I can use that as a motivator to keep on keepin' on.

I'll be trying to log on & write, but we'll see how that goes. Depends on how much I can pry my husband's laptop from his hands.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HRZ2UMZROBINSON 3/27/2008 7:36PM

    I definitely know what you mean about setting a deadline and then going more out of control than ever. That why I've decided to take weight loss nice and slow, but I really do want to look good in Hawaii so I'm trying to kick my butt into high gear for a few weeks. I've found journaling to be very useful to me too, although I usually do it at night when my overactive mind takes over. I hope you have a great trip, I'm sure you're family will notice how wonderful you look.

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RENA1965 3/26/2008 9:30PM

    Hi JLITT62,
Hope you have a great break too. Hold on to these inches you have lost, and know your doing just fine. We all know the disappointment of clothing not fitting, but at some stage even this will get less of a issue. Just keep doing your thing in your speed and tell them you need their support! kind regards Rena

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AHHHME 3/26/2008 6:22PM

    I hope you have a fabulous vacation! You are going to do a great job - I know it! You already are! Say hi if you can get to a computer - especially if you need support. Thanks for sharing the information about the morning pages - it really sounds like a great idea. Best wishes, Melissa

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WOLFKITTY 3/26/2008 1:24PM

    I vote for showing your tracker, too! Hey, don't worry too much about them not noticing the inches you've lost. YOU know you did, and that's what matters. You're not doing it for them. You're doing it for yourself (maybe your husband, and definitely your doggies)!

Keep on keepin' on, chickie!

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SKINNYNANNY 3/26/2008 12:26PM

    you are going to do great. I hope you follow with your plans. I didn't not journal while I was on vacation, and I didn't do as well as I thought that I would have . SO I applaud your committment to yourself!
let us know how it goes.

skinnynanny

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GAYLLYNNE 3/26/2008 9:20AM

    I really understand how you feel. I would love for someone to notice that I've lost weight. Hasn't happened yet but I am not going to give up and I'm so happy that you aren't either. Have a great trip and you just might come back slimmer than when you left!!! You have such a great attitude and I admire that a lot!

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CJROMB 3/26/2008 8:54AM

    Hey, where's your TRACKER girl!? :)

Thanx for commenting on my blog. I'm glad my MISFORTUNE enterained you! :) Heehee. Especially seeing, as it turns out, my shoulder is quite sore this morning. And look, I'm still typing a message to you. That's dedication.

Have a great trip. Be easy on yourself. Give yourself room to breathe.

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