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Why do we do this to ourselves?

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Run, that is. Because it seems inevitable that at some point you WILL end up injured, no matter how careful you are. My knee started to bother me Tuesday - really don't know why.it just started out of the blue.

It's not actually painful, but it's very stiff when I bend it & just doesn't feel right. When you start training for longer races you get to know your body very well. I'm resting it & elevating it as much as possible, but I will go shopping later today & will probably walk more than I ought to.

Yesterday I had to run thru the detroit airport for about 10 minutes. What is it about Detroit? That 's the one I had to run thru for literally a couple of miles when I went to Seattle a few months ago. This time it was only about 60 gates - and no, I'm not exaggerating.

Here's what happened: we had a long layover at Detroit, but it turns out they oversold our flight. They offered us first class if we took an earlier flight. The catch? We had 10 minutes to get to the new gate.

Well, we made it & the good news is it didn't hurt & didn't seem to make my knee worse. The other good news is that since we were in first class we got food. I know, tho, that over 13 miles a knee that's stiff can turn into a lot of pain. But I have several more days to take it sort of easy, I have my cw-x tights & I'm going to be optimistic.

So why do we do this to ourselves? One answer is endorphins. Even if you never feel a runner's high, you will feel better after a run.

But it's so much more than that. There's setting a challenge for yourself, breaking it down into baby steps, taking those baby steps, and seeing all your hard work pay off. Sort of like losing weight.

And yes, sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's hard AND painful. Sometimes it will break your heart & spirit - but sometimes it will give you the greatest sense of confidence & accomplishment.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHIROIHANA 12/2/2011 2:26PM

    You are absolutely right... I'm the type of person who questions herself on why she signed up for a race on race day. Have I prepared enough, will I push myself too hard, will this lead to an injury, etc. But once you cross that finish line, endorphins kick in and all those insecurities go away. It's worth the injuries, the setbacks, the preparation.
There is nothing that beats the feeling of accomplishment... and nothing like first class. :) I hope your knee feels better!

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IFDEEVARUNS2 12/1/2011 4:07PM

    Those tights work wonders! They got me through the San Antonio marathon last year. But take walk breaks throughout, you'll feel much better at the end and lessen your chance of injury. emoticon

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SKINNYPOWELL1 12/1/2011 3:37PM

    I know about the broken heart and spirit and definitely the pain. I'm wishing you the best with your leg, I know you've worked very hard for this. Take it easy, and definitely listen to the body. Race day is gonna be emoticon. Sending healing [[[[[vibes]]]]] your way. emoticon

I'm in total agreement with NAT, I miss the runner's high.

Comment edited on: 12/1/2011 3:38:00 PM

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NATPLUMMER 12/1/2011 1:21PM

    I hope your knee feels normal by Sunday.
You do seem to have bad luck in Detroit. Glad it didn't hurt the knee.
My knees have been stiff and sore. Squats, lunges, arthritis...hard to say but I do know how you feel.
I miss my runner's high.

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TEMPEST272002 12/1/2011 12:16PM

    Gotta love overbooked flights! So how does first class feel? Baby that knee & send it healing thoughts... we want it strong & healthy for your HM!

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SLIMMERJESSE 12/1/2011 11:38AM

    Glad you find it challenging and hope you don't have addl. painful parts. I used to run - awhile ago - but basically feel that the human body is not made for that type of continuous motion. Which flies in the face of current theories, I know. Just a personal preference. Wishing you many happy trails.

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My body gallery

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Have you heard of this? mybodygallery.com

Way cool! You plug in your height & weight & then it shows you photos of women the same height & weight. I know yesterday's blog was semi-Debbie-downer - I blame it on he gray days lately, even if it's been way warmer than normal (NOT supposed to snow tomorrow - yeah! - only rain).

So anyway, yeah, most women my height & weight look pretty much like me. But guess what? 10 lbs thinner they STILL look pretty much like me. That was an interesting reality check.

I haven't had much time for ST lately, what with the travel, the running, the raking. My body really shows the lack. I really hope I can work more in as I work toward the second HM - it makes SUCH a huge difference in how your body looks!

I got a great compliment at yoga Sunday - as we were in pigeon pose, the instructor stopped by me & said I looked wonderful! Would I be in her video? She's not actually making one, but apparently has been asked a time or two & thinks about it.

The funny thing is that while of course it made me feel good about myself, at the same time it made me uncomfortable. I don't like attention.

And we did some crunches, laying down in eagle pose next - pie blasters she called it - I simply cannot wrap my foot around my leg in eagle pose - I don't even come close. So that kept it real.

I'll leave you with the affirmation she shared with us:

I am grateful for everything I have. I have no complaints whatsoever.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DDOORN 12/1/2011 3:32PM

    Neat discovery!

Hoping it includes men too! The site is blocked here at work for some weird reason.


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BRAVENEWGRL 11/29/2011 9:36PM

    I totally just found that website today too!!!!

Kudos on your yoga win! Love me some half pigeon...

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KANSASROSE67 11/29/2011 4:01PM

    Thanks for sharing this site. I was amazed by the variety of sizes and shapes that "matched" me. It provided further proof that the scale really doesn't tell the full story.

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TEMPEST272002 11/29/2011 3:59PM

    Checked out the site. Fascinating. There were lots of photos in my range. These women have sexy bodies that look regular size to me... and it's still a bit disconcerting that I am that size. Good reinforcer for me. If I think THEY are sexy at this size, then I must be too. One weird thing I noticed - all of wear pants 1-4 sizes bigger than me. I think it's the strength training I do. So yes! Get back to that ST. It makes a difference.

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NATPLUMMER 11/29/2011 2:44PM

    Interesting site. Yay for the compliment!!

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REDEMILY 11/29/2011 9:34AM

    I checked it out. There are none that fit me. Sad. :(

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SLIMMERJESSE 11/29/2011 9:31AM

    I'll check out that website. Thanks!

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SKINNYPOWELL1 11/29/2011 8:58AM


Neat website, I just checked it out.

Comment edited on: 11/29/2011 9:01:54 AM

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IFDEEVARUNS2 11/29/2011 8:57AM

    I only found one my 'size' and I only wish I looked that good.
Way to go on the yoga!

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LIBBYFITZ 11/29/2011 8:53AM

    emoticon With yoga we do the best our body will allow us to do! emoticon

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Hard at first, easier at end (photos)

Monday, November 28, 2011

What do I see when I look at this photo? A person that's still stuck. She looks good, but of course I narrow in on the flaws. This is me at the wedding:

And with DH:

Not a great photo, but very real: me with my parents - I only tower over them cause I'm wearing 4" heels!

Now here's a side by side photo of me our first night in Key West. Just goes to show you the difference sitting up straight can make in photos (or standing):

You know how some people can't take bad photos? Have no bad angles? Now you know why I carefully edit what I show you, because I have all sorts of bad angles!

And here's the photo that launched me on my journey. I asked DH for them a long time ago, but of course I don't often get what I ask for. He happened to be going thru these for some reason.

This is the bat mitzvah I went to that pushed me to get serious about getting the weight off. On the right is me today in the same dress. Kind of hard to believe it's the same person, and it's not as tho I lost huge amounts of weight, either. This is the photo to look at when I'm feeling down about myself.

And it just goes to show you you can feel unhappy at any weight, too. I tried on a pair of size 6 levis at the store yesterday for grins. It was tight, but it fit -- wasn't too bad. I'm at my heaviest in almost 2 years -- and I feel & see it -- yet my weight has seemed to sort of shift around. Weight is weird, I tell ya.

So while I'm happy that smaller jeans are fitting, I still feel somewhat fluffy. I think I have to come to terms that I might always feel somewhat fluffy. And that can change from one day to the next, from morning to night, even hour to hour.

Which is why, I suppose, we really do need to go by something other than weight & how we look. It's so much more about how we feel about ourselves. But I'll be honest -- it's still kind of painful to look at that before bat mitzvah photo.

I share all this so that you know it isn't just about getting to your goal weight. It really is about getting to your happy weight, which is more a mental game than a number. One I'm still trying to figure out.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IFDEEVARUNS2 12/1/2011 4:10PM

    Doesn't even seem like the same person! You've lost years, not just weight.

My weight is back up, but I don't look like the same person I did before. Amazing what running can do for you.

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SKINNYPOWELL1 11/28/2011 10:47AM

    I had never really seen a "before" pic of you, at least I don't remember seeing it. Let me just say that you look SUPER FANTASTIC now. Yuu've come a long way, and it shows - you look great lady. Love you in purple. emoticon

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NATPLUMMER 11/28/2011 9:45AM

    I think most of my angles are pretty bad in photos.
Wow!!! It is hard to believe that they are both you.
I think you both looked great at the wedding. Love that dress :-)

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SLIMMERJESSE 11/28/2011 9:15AM

    Once again, you're inside my head. I've been thinking of this. Funny, but the other day a friend commented on how slim I look. Honestly, I do. However, the scale is a different matter. You look lovely and pics are great. Thanks for sharing.

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DDHEART 11/28/2011 8:23AM

    Today is one of those psychic connection days...I have been having a lot of these same thoughts and had been thinking about the blog I plan to write today. Thank you once again for saying what I was thinking!

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Habits are so easy to form

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Both good - and bad. It has quickly become my habit to have pancakes for breakfast - or lunch, even, if I'm running later in the day - on long run days. I top them with PB2 & use slept flour, so they're at least semi-healthy. But my long run doesn't seem right if I don't have my pancakes first.

I also always use my Las Vegas mug for my tea on long run days - to help me visualize & remind me of what I'm doing. Luckily I have an Austin mug for my next HM, too!

It's just as easy to form bad habits, too: I freely admit that I am addicted to my chocolate multivitamin & calcium supplement after lunch. If for some reason I don't have them, I crave something sweet.

Habits aren't evil - the main thing is to be aware when something IS a habit.

Yesterday was my last "long" run before next week's HM. I did a 10k. It's amazing how much easier a 10 k feels after doing 10, 11, & 12 mile runs! I took a GU with me, even tho I didn't plan to use it (and didn't) because I read somewhere that it's a good idea to have something like that with you just in case.

The park was PACKED like I haven't seen it in months because the weather was so nice. My hip didn't bother me at all except for a twinge here & there afterwards. I haven't had to ice it at all for the last couple of weeks.

I was SO grateful to have a warm run for a change - probably my last for quite some time. I'll admit I really don't look forward to all the cold long runs I'll do in prep for Austin.

A couple more easy runs & then probably way too much walking around Vegas & maybe a couple of swims. The Tropicana has an indoor pool - part of why I changed our reservations - & it better be open because I'm bringing my swimsuit!

Now just praying to get out easily. There's potential for snow the day we leave. And gotta remember to freeze what's left of my chocolate pumpkin pie! No, I haven't had any since thanksgiving.

Are you aware of your habits? Good & bad?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESSIEJUICE 11/27/2011 1:58PM

    You're so right- it's important to be aware of our habits, both good and bad. You're running up a storm! I'm training hard to keep up :)

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NATPLUMMER 11/27/2011 10:02AM

    Yes, habits are easy to form. I really like those chocolate calciums, too.
Yay for an easy long run. Sounds like you're ready :-)

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LJCANNON 11/27/2011 9:31AM

    emoticonEnjoy the experience!! I will be waiting for the Pictures and 'Post-Race' Report, too. I will be cheering you on from Oklahoma!!
emoticonI am not looking forward to the cold, either, but I won't let it get in my Habit of walking every day. We do tend to forget that Good Habits are just as easy to form as Bad Habits.

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TEMPEST272002 11/27/2011 9:11AM

    Glad you got in another good run before the HM. Eek! It's just around the corner. Have fun in Vegas! Can't wait for the post-race report.

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KISSFAN1 11/27/2011 8:26AM

    My habit has been popcorn. I make sure I have the calories for it, but it's my main snack. I don't really eat sweets and don't eat a lot of meat, so this is my splurge, although not a guilty one.

Have fun in Las Vegas!!!

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CLIMBERS_ROCK 11/27/2011 7:57AM

    Maybe your hip didn't hurt because it was warm. My knees hurt more when it's cold. Good luck getting off to a safe start. I pray the snow comes the day after you leave. Enjoy Las Vegas and the pool.

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Still amazes me how the scale can change feelings

Friday, November 25, 2011

I feel like I'm in a really good place with food. I'm happy with the choices I've made at the wedding & yesterday. What I'm not happy with is the results.

Which is ironic, because my size six jeans still fit. My clothes aren't fitting snug - at least not yet - not like the last time the scale showed me this number.

I tracked everything I ate yesterday. I chose small portions of all the desserts over stuffing & chips, because that's how I roll. Lots of veggies. I wan't in the least stuffed - in fact I was a little hungry when I got hone.

I'm pretty sure I won't be happy with the scale when I get back from Vegas, either.

I guess I just have to be happy that my clothes feel better. And keep working hard to insure that they keep fitting! Because I sure don't want to buy larger sizes.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEONALIONESS 11/28/2011 6:14PM

    This is why I don't weigh myself anymore.

Frankly, I don't care WHAT the number is, I'm shooting for a place where I look in the mirror and like what I see. The number on the scale can't tell me where that place will be and it only makes me hate myself and want to restrict and overexercise. I haven't weighed myself in darn near a year. I stopped tracking food back in June(?) Whenever my first marathon of the season was.

I still fit in all my clothes and look basically the same. I'm working on building my arms back up and want to cut a little fat off my stomach but I apparently can maintain here without stress, disordered stuff and while still eating the food I like. I might still weigh 127ish (doubtful!) or closer to 135. I don't know. If I DID know and that number was higher than I'd like, I'd fall apart. I'm only human. ;) So I prefer to go by how I look and feel and how clothes fit. Much better for my sanity!

Scales are evil and they narrow our focus too much, IMO.
If you got your body to a smaller size, improved your tone and fitness, loved how you looked in the mirror but weighed more than you'd like would that matter? Would you starve off muscle to hit a lighter weight? If no, then why worry about that number? (Except for the WW no-more-paying thing you've got at goal weight ... which strikes me as a bit silly on WW's part. They should know that number is NOT the end all be all of health!)

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REDEMILY 11/28/2011 3:08PM

    I understand that. I hate that thing. I can be feeling great, know I am eating well, working hard and be disappointed by that. Feel better. :(

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JESSIEJUICE 11/26/2011 6:11PM

    The scale is definitely a frenemy. You work out so hard, I have no doubt you'll remain delightfully comfy in your size 6s. I think you did well with your food choices- did you know the average American eats something like 4,500 hundred calories on Thanksgiving? It sounds like you let yourself have a little treat and balanced it with veggies and hard work. emoticon

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 11/26/2011 10:16AM

    I use how my clothes fit as my measure, so I think you are doing great!

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TEDDYBABE 11/26/2011 8:58AM

    Yeah that scale can make or break your day sometimes, IF YOU LET IT. You sound like you are doing awesome. Great choices and still had fun! Way to go!

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LIBBYFITZ 11/25/2011 11:51PM

    I am noticing as I have gotten older that my weight fluctuates more and I can see by my fingers that I am retaining fluid!

That number does not reflect fat only, it reflects everything that is happening within our bodies.

If your clothes still fit comfortably I would smile! emoticon

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NATPLUMMER 11/25/2011 10:43PM

    I think clothes are a better gauge than the scale.

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TEMPEST272002 11/25/2011 10:02PM

    Stupid scale. Maybe it needs new batteries.

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FREELADY 11/25/2011 4:16PM

    You know you are doing reasonable things. You know it is just one number. Assure yourself and keep going.

I am exhorting myself here too. My emotional response to the scale is certainly not rational.

I always enjoy your meaningful blogs. Thanks.

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PUDLECRAZY 11/25/2011 4:06PM

    As long as what goes up, comes down.

I find that my weight does not always reflect what my clothes tell me and I prefer what my clothes tell me to a number on the scale. I think I can go up or down a pound or two just with water weight.

emoticon emoticon

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DOGMOMMA2THREE 11/25/2011 3:59PM

    It is so true, isn't it? We allow a piece of machinery to affect how we feel about ourselves. I am cheering for you and I know you are always active AND careful with what you eat. It is frustrating at any size, I guess. emoticon

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