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It isn't all about the dress

Friday, April 29, 2011

I am a girly-girl. Always have been. Yet I don't get the hoopla about "the" wedding - didn't about Diana's, either. I haven't seen the news or the dress yet, tho obviously I will before day's end.

And I didn't grow up planning my wedding. I wasn't planning to be married any time soon. Maybe it was my low self esteem; maybe it was the idea that my looks were never quite good enough as planted by my parents. I am not blaming them, altho it sure sounds like I am. Ultimately no one can make you feel bad except your own high expectations of yourself.

So there I was, fresh out of college and the first among my friends to be engaged.

I didn't turn into bridezilla. I didn't care a whole lot about the details & let most of the work fall to my mother. I didn't even really care about the dress. Really, you only wear it once, so what's the point?

Looking back, I suspect, again, that my parents planted some ideas in my head. Like after 3 college educations & 1 wedding already, they really didn't want to spend more than they had to. And so when they suggested I wear my sister's dress, I agreed. Truth was I hadn't really come into my own in terms of style yet.

Only problem? My sister is 3" taller than me, and was also, not surprisingly, thinner than me.

And do I can relate to both Diana & Kate. There was a lot of pressure on me to fit into that dress, & let me tell you it was close but I did it. For probably the only time in my life I met a weight goal in the time frame I set out for myself. Failure was not an option.

With 25 years hindsight, tho, I want to tell all those brides-to-be that it isn't really all about the dress. Of course you have every right to look pretty, but please don't do so at the expense of your happiness. This should be a happy time, a time of celebration - not a time to beat yourself up and make yourself crazy.

Forget about sizes. Forget about what other people say or think. Choose something comfortable that makes you feel like a princess. And above all, remember it isn't all about the dress. It's about a celebration of sharing your life with your loved ones.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KIMPOSSIBLE82 4/30/2011 9:55AM

    So very true! I enjoyed watching the wedding. I enjoy attending other people's large weddings. But I am THRILLED that my husband and I got married in a chapel in Las Vegas with just our closest family and friends. My mother made me a simple while sun dress. Sometimes I get jealous of brides in the huge dresses, but the truth is that it just isn't me. Great blog!

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HEYRED221 4/29/2011 10:06PM

    When I got married at the age of 19 (I am now divorced), I wore my sisters dress that she had worn about 10 years before. I hated it then and hate it now when I see the pictures, but same thing - my parents didn't want to put out a lot of money and I was too young to really know any differently. If I get married again, it will be very different.

I have seen Kate's dress - its beautiful very simple and elegant.

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NATPLUMMER 4/29/2011 7:09PM

    I definitely didn't plan my wedding as a child. At my orthodox sister's wedding my dad offered my a down payment on a house if I eloped. By the time my wedding rolled around (2008) both of my parents were dead. We payed for it ourselves. I bought a dress from J. Crew. It was a very happy day.

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TEMPEST272002 4/29/2011 6:20PM

    I didn't dream of my wedding as a child either. When I did finally get married at 35, hubby and I were able to keep a lid on the expense and general craziness... we saved most our budget for the honeymoon. lol So worth it.

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RATFINKROB 4/29/2011 9:11AM

    When I asked my wife to marry me, I was shocked to find out that she already had her wedding dress paid for and in storage. She found her dream dress years before and bought it waiting for the day. I thought it was strange but, just glad it was me that she wore it for.

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IFDEEVARUNS2 4/29/2011 9:11AM

    I'd never planned to watch the wedding but found myself awake at 4:30. So I turned on the TV and watched. What a pleasant surprise. I'd really paid no attention to all the hoopla, but was pleased to see a beautiful woman in a simple and elegant dress, and all I could focus on was her face. I'm hoping she's as comfortable with herself as she appeared. Now there is a woman to be reckoned with!

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DDHEART 4/29/2011 8:23AM

    Good blog....and these thoughts can apply to so many other things in our life that develop a level of importance beyond what they deserve. I too don't get the hoopla but as usual I woke at 4A and I did turn on the tv....briefly. What struck me? Seeing her walk down the aisle with her dad...didn't really notice the dress, or much of anything else at that time just saw an exchange of looks between father and daughter that touched my heart.

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Nut, what nut?

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Nope, I haven't fallen into a can of nuts. I'll get to the point after sharing the funny dog story that sparked this blog.

When we lived in TX we had 2 oak trees - one in the front, a live oak, and a red oak we foolishly planted in the backyard thinking we'd get changing colors - which we did, only you don't get the right weather for the brilliant reds we get up here in the NE; we got muted reddish-brown instead.

What we did get was acorns. Lots & lots of acorns. And the fruits from our magnolia tree (altho I still really miss that magnolia). Dogs like acorns. Heck, dogs like pretty much anything they can get their mouths around & some things they really can't get their mouths around.

Like acorns. Chester would often get them stuck on his teeth. I had to unstick them for him on more than one occasion. Sometimes he'd get them stuck on both his upper & lower teeth at the same time, and would look around nonchalantly with his mouth stuck open as if I couldn't see the great big acorn he'd been trying to gobble.

So the other day, right after Easter, I'm walking the dogs. I glance down, and Lola has her mouth partially open. It isn't particularly warm & I think maybe she's picked up something on one of her paws.

I feel all her paws & can't find anything, altho she looks almost in pain - I should have realized that wasn't it, since she's usually quite vocal if something is hurting her.

We continue walking a bit, me watching her, with her mouth still partially open - until she spits out a (thankfully) wrapped Hershey's kiss. Why she didn't just gobble it I'll never know. It was pretty funny, but maybe you had to be there.

Still, it got me thinking about all the little extras we take, sometimes thoughtlessly & sometimes while just ignoring our own behavior, cause if we ignore it it didn't happen, right?

Like how I thought I'd smear just a bit if peanut butter on my protein bar. A little extra protein, right? As if a little smear really gets you any more protein! I didn't do it. Or how I might just pop a few chocolate chips in while adding them to my husband's oatmeal. I didn't do that, either, but I thought about it & I've done it in the past & will no doubt do it in tbd future at some point.

These little white lies we tell ourselves only hurt one person - ourselves!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NATPLUMMER 4/28/2011 2:38PM

    I have told myself some of the same white lies.
I'm glad Lola didn't eat the kiss and that it was wrapped. That may have ended very badly.

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SKINNYPOWELL1 4/28/2011 1:47PM

    Great blog today Judy, love the story about your dogs. funny how your little dog didn't just scarf down that hershey kiss.

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SLEEPYJANE78 4/28/2011 1:44PM

  lol...gotta love dogs that make us laugh even on the toughest days. But totally makes sense about adding a little here and there i do the same thing now i will be more conscience about it :)

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HEALTHY4JEANNE 4/28/2011 1:38PM

    I am glad he spit it out. You have a dog with some self control!

Thank your for the thoughts to ponder today.
:) Jeanne

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A sensory feast

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

That was my run just 2 short hours ago. You'd never know it to look at the grayness otside now! Maybe today will be a repeat of yesterday - cloudy in the morning, clearing up into the most gorgeous afternoon.

It rained overnight, but nothing was coming down as I headed out the door. The birds were chirping away, which always helps me to get out that door. There were lots of clouds, but there was some yellow brightening the horizon.

The wonderful smell of lilacs wafted in the air. Such childhood memories - I have a really deep connection to a lot of the trees we had in my first home - is that weird?

The forsythia & crabapples are beginning to bloom, finally, too. Tulips are unfolding.

I got glimpses of a yellow sunrise from time to time, but no blue skies, nor any expected from the forecast. I was just so grateful to have a dry run without a jacket weighing me down & hindering the freedom of my run!

There was the smell of gas at the turn where there's so frequently that smell. Someday those houses are going to blow up, but I think we live far enough away to be safe. And yes, we've contacted the gas company about it anyway.

There was the deafening rumble if the garbage truck at that turn, but it's the one fewer people use (not included in our taxes) so thankfully it soon left me in peace.

As I neared home, a tiny cardinal raced across the street.

And that is why I run. At least sometimes. True, you could get all that from walking, too. I believe that I do get more endorphins from running than walking, tho. Even from leisurely runs like this morning.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RATFINKROB 4/28/2011 9:34AM

    I love my morning walks for the same reason. The robbins always hop along beside me and the cardinals will tweet and dart in front of me.

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IFDEEVARUNS2 4/28/2011 8:51AM

    Lilacs take me back to my childhood - and we don't have them down here. I really miss the trees, shrubs and flowers of my childhood. Funny.....

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DDOORN 4/28/2011 7:00AM

    Love those moments when we're feeling SO IN-SYNC with nature...!


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HEYRED221 4/27/2011 9:13PM

    Sounds like you had a wonderful run!

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TEMPEST272002 4/27/2011 6:10PM

    Sounds like a lovely run. I've noticed the birds are back (must be spring, but it still doesn't look it!) and singing up a storm.

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NATPLUMMER 4/27/2011 12:18PM

    I'm glad you got your run before it got icky. Yes, I think we do have fond memories of childhood smells.

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SKINNYPOWELL1 4/27/2011 11:18AM

    Sounds like you had the perfect run and all of nature's best this morning. emoticon

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EDWINA172 4/27/2011 9:36AM

    Thanks for posting this. I visualized all that you described. Its not weird that you have a connection to your trees. I have one also! OK....so, maybe we're both a little weird. LOL! I can recall childhood memories of sitting in my "favorite" tree for what felt like hours.
When I run, I seem to notice that there are usually two of every little creature playing or running in front of me. Squirrels, birds, bunnies and deer. I think that God planned it that way. None of us were meant to complete this journey alone. Thanks for sharing yours with me;)

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FRECKS96 4/27/2011 8:09AM

    Wonderful! I'm looking forward to an easy run later this morning. I can't wait!

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FREELADY 4/27/2011 7:56AM

    What a gift to us, to enjoy your intriguing descriptions! Thanks for letting us tag along on your delightful runs!

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A stalemate

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The devil didn't win yesterday, but neither did the angel. I'd call it a draw. I did not have dessert for dinner (instead I had breakfast for dinner), but I also didn't have any veggies yesterday. Nada, zero, zilch.

Extremely unusual for me. I did, OTOH, have a fair amount of fruit & I didn't pig out on candy or sweets or anything. What I ate was fairly healthy, just not very balanced. I ended up with oatmeal for dinner.

Yesterday was a real low energy day. Could've been the weather, could've been not enough sleep in general over the last week, could've been the lack of veggies - most likely all 3 combined. The weather doesn't look to get better anytime soon, altho at least it's finally getting warmer. Whatever; it's not something I can control so I just have to accept it.

I also wanted to make a brief comment on my limiting carbs as the day goes on. I don't really think carbs in the evening have anything to do with weight gain (or plateau), but I'm giving this a try because I find that by not having carbs with dinner I can get in an afternoon snack. That afternoon snack usually helps keep late-day cravings for sweets at bay.

It's not written in stone, obviously, since I had oatmeal for dinner last night. I was able to squeeze in my afternoon snack yesterday so it worked for me. Usually even more veggies take the place of the dinnertime carbs, and more veggies can only be a good thing.

I have salad on the menu for dinner tonight. I'm really hoping they got the forecast right - warm - otherwise I know I won't want salad. Salad with shrimp & avocado, BTW, not just veggies.

Dreaming of sun & warm weather . . . everyone's gotta have dreams!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DDOORN 4/26/2011 12:58PM

    Carbs can be so tricky...and SO easy to go overboard, at least for me!

Love eggs for the same reason as you...they really go the distance!


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NATPLUMMER 4/26/2011 12:32PM

    Sometimes I have a day without veggies, too. That usually happens on the weekend because I always have broccoli for lunch.
Tonight we're having Trader Joe's chicken sausages on buns!!! Yay for bread at home!!
I rarely want a salad but never do when it's cold.

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IFDEEVARUNS2 4/26/2011 9:39AM

    I'll trade the weather, if you can make it happen.
I frequently have breakfast for dinner. OTOH, last night I had chocolate for dinner. Sigh......yes, emotional eating.

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RATFINKROB 4/26/2011 9:27AM

    You fought them both to a stand still. Sounds like a win to me. We got a little rain last night and the tornado missed us, that's always a plus. Today clear with a high of 88. Time for a bike ride!

Have a great day!

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DOGMOMMA2THREE 4/26/2011 7:56AM

    I could send you some sun but the temperature is still -2 C here! I don't mind it though as long as the sun is out. Keep taking one day at a time as we all have slip ups....I'm on a month long slip up, myself! Ha!

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SKINNYPOWELL1 4/26/2011 7:50AM

    emoticonSending warmth & sunshine your way emoticon

P.S. Good job in not letting the emoticonwin.

Comment edited on: 4/26/2011 7:51:42 AM

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TURCOTTEP 4/26/2011 7:45AM

  Keep going

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Who will I listen to?

Monday, April 25, 2011

I'm having one of those angel vs devil days. Thinking about a brownie for dinner cause Passover is over and I need something other than brown rice & matzo.

Then my head tells me I have a race this weekend, that I'm an athlete (snort!) and I need to fuel myself properly. Besides which I'm trying to limit carbs in the evenings.

Then my stomach says it's heartily sick of eggs. Yes, the discovery that they really keep me fuller has been most welcome, but after a while I need something different and there have been a lot of eggs this week.

My stomach also says it's a dreary, drizzly, chilly day and oatmeal sounds so good . . . but technically Passover doesn't end til this evening & there's the whole limiting carbsin the evening thing.

But then maybe a healthy dessert for dinner wouldn't be do bad . . .

Well, some days are like that. Some days I make a meal plan and I stick right to it and I'm very satisfied. But some days it's a struggle & a real ongoing conversation with myself.

No decisions have been reached yet. The conversation continues. Or is that to be continued?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOGMOMMA2THREE 4/26/2011 7:53AM

    Oh dear, sounds like you are facing a struggle within! I hope you opted for the healthy dessert as remember this is not about depriving yourself. I'm sure you will do just fine at the upcoming race, dessert or not!

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NATPLUMMER 4/25/2011 9:03PM

    Passover is definitely full of eggs.
What did you finally decide?
I thought Passover was over tomorrow night.

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IFDEEVARUNS2 4/25/2011 4:54PM

    What would that healthy dessert be?

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XFITSTRONG 4/25/2011 3:51PM

    LOL! I have those converstaions repeatedly!!!!

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SKINNYPOWELL1 4/25/2011 2:12PM

    Good will always triumph over evil.

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RATFINKROB 4/25/2011 2:03PM

    Don't you just hate those days :) Some days I don't even know who to cheer for the angel or the devil. emoticon emoticon

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FRECKS96 4/25/2011 12:26PM

    This weather is killing me. And you're right, it does make it harder to stick to our plans. Good Luck!

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HEALTHY4JEANNE 4/25/2011 12:22PM

    I had one of those conversations last night. I made and tracked my whole day. I was so ready and prepared. Easter feast in front of us. I ate exactly what I had logged. Then my fil brought 2 huge platters of cheese cake. Each peice was already sliced. I served my 9 guests and family and then I picked up the nutritional info. At the moment I was slightly tempted at that point. 380 calories for a sliver.... I took my fresh strawberries and a dab of whipped cream and I felt so much better!!!!!!
I understand the struggle. it is moment by moment isn't it?
Have a great day Judy!!!!
:) Jeanne

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