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Mountains out of molehills

Monday, February 28, 2011

I am, by nature, a cautious person. You might even say a fearful person. I know it probably doesn't come across that way in this blog, but it's true.

I am often amazed when I stop and chat with neighbors and they have no clue what the forecast is. I always know it, because I have dogs who don't like to get their paws wet. And they're little dogs, so they can only hold it so long. My neighbors have dogs, too.

This morning is a case in point. The forecast was for sleet changing over to rain. It was also supposed to be my first morning back to swimming. Only after all the shoveling and staying up later than normal to watch a little bit of the Oscars, I overslept.

I still had enough time to go. I checked the radar - looked like the nasty stuff was headed our way. Probably not by the time I'd have to leave, but probably by the time I'd be heading home. I let the dogs out. And then decided to stay home.

Was it the right decision? I don't know. I definitely could have gone - all we got by the time I would have got home was a little rain, and I really don't have that far to go.

Was my body ready for a swim? I don't know. I'm sure it would've made me feel really peaceful once I was done as it almost always does.

But I know my decision was mostly based on fear, and those are almost never good decisions.

As I was reading in a book recently, "When you choose to work toward healthy relationships, you often find things Need to change. You must choose to change, even when change is scary" (from The DNA of Relationships a free Kindle book - btw the book Ravenous recommended on the DailySpark is also a free download right now!).

That really spoke to me. Obviously something must change to unstick me from my plateau - I just don't know what! Or maybe deep down I do and I'm afraid to make the change.

The question, of course, is what to I have to lose by making a change? And what can I gain by making the change?

Today I lost my time in the pool by not overcoming my fear of the unknown. Yes, I gained a peaceful morning. Was it worth it? I don't know, I do know I cannot undo it, and maybe it was a lesson I needed today. To get me thinking about all of this.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DDHEART 2/28/2011 9:32PM

    What is the fine line that determines if we're being driven by fear or caution? The two things are really the same though vary on the scale of intensity, also I would tend to consider fear to be the driving force if it is unreasonable....like my sweat inducing pale, clammy reaction to the second step on a step ladder....unreasonable or a glass elevator....now climbing a sheer cliff might merit justifiable fear or....better stated as caution. So, did you err on the side of caution? perhaps but if you had gone, got caught in an icy storm and maybe even had an accident, I don't think you would be asking the question in the same way. You made a decision and you didn't do it on automatic pilot....it is what it is. emoticon

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NATPLUMMER 2/28/2011 1:02PM

    I agree with Don.

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SLIMMERJESSE 2/28/2011 10:11AM

    There are several lines in that book that spoke to me. No, you don't seem like a fearful person at all through blogs. For example, I remember you walking around the Czech Republic alone - all happy as can be! (smiling)

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DAYHIKER 2/28/2011 8:56AM

    I tend to err on the side of caution when it's weather related because of the consequences of getting caught out having made the wrong decision! Don has a good point!

Cindy

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DDOORN 2/28/2011 8:20AM

    I think we all can tend toward the safe and familiar at times. Recognizing when we do it and the cost of doing it are probably the first steps toward not running quite so much on automatic pilot and being more mindful of our choices so that we can break out of the same-old, same-old.

Don

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The good, the bad, the could've been ugly

Friday, February 25, 2011

The Good

I am feeling much better this morning - sort of. More energy again, anyway. I tracked what I ate yesterday, even if it wasn't quite my normal day of eating (more on that later). DH is still home - more on that later, too.

The Bad

My period started out of the blue last night, 4 days early - explains the small weight gain, not feeling well, and my total lack of energy lately. So while I have more energy today, the tradeoff is the cramps. I think i'd rather have the cramps!

The weather prediction seems right - expecting anywhere from 6 to 10" of snow. This is why it's handy DH is still here - he can give me another snow blower lesson. I suspect he'll be all manly & want to do it himself, but his foot has been bothering him & he leaves for a business trip soon.

Not enough sleep. Simba woke me up at 3:30 am by throwing up. At least it wasn't on carpet or any furniture - altho it was partially on a throw rug. I am concerned about him - he seems healthy, but I know something is going on.

The Could've Been Ugly

I didn't know my period was imminent yesterday, but that explains not only the tiredness but the sudden desire for chocolate, too. Thankfully I started my day with a healthy tofu scramble with lots of veggies & a banana. A snack of roasted edamame & an apple. The day went downhill from there.

Got home from the zoo that food shopping before a potential major storm can be and was too tired - and too hungry - to fix what I'd planned for lunch. Cashini & chocolate oatmeal it was (I figured I'd already had 5 servings of freggies, with more planned.

My snack was an Ezekiel tortilla with a half tablespoon of chocolate peanut butter & half tablespoon of dark chocolate chips - only to remember afterwards that I was going to have a vitatop which probably would've been more filling!

I got back on track for dinner with an apple and whole wheat spaghetti with home made marinara sauce. And then detoured back into chocoholics' land with 2 le petit ecoliet dark chocolate cookies.

I say could've been ugly cause I tracked it all - while it wasn't what I planned or particularly healthy, it wasn't that bad, I didn't go over my range, and I did get in all my freggies, water, protein, etc. I don't regret it.

No regrets - that's part of what I'm working on with food this year. To try to take out the emotion as much as possible.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TURTLE_MOM 2/26/2011 9:28PM

    mmm.... chocolate! l do like those vitatops! Isn't it crazy how the hormones can cause all that? Looks like you tackled all the could have been ugly situations very well!

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JRIMM4 2/25/2011 11:45AM

    While your food choices may not have been up to par for your 'norm' they sound totally balanced and healthy compared to the 'average' diet!

JR

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NATPLUMMER 2/25/2011 10:14AM

    That's right....no regrets!!! TOM definitely accounts for the increase in chocolate consumption.
I'm glad you've got your energy back.

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DAYHIKER 2/25/2011 9:00AM

    I agree that you did pretty well since you were aware and tracking--it could have been a LOT worse! We have 3 fresh inches of very heavy wet snow this morning. I feel for you if you get more than that and it's this heavy. Not looking forward to shoveling today and glad that we have a warm up coming. If dh didn't have a big annual beekeepers meeting tomorrow on the south side of Indpls we'd probably just wait it out!!

Take care!
Cindy

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MARIE625 2/25/2011 8:41AM

    Woo-hoo! for staying in range! Hope you get through your storm safely. We are having massive rain & wind today. We desperately need the rain - we are already in drought conditions, but the wind we could do without.

Loved your 'what you'll eat in Austin' blog, btw. Got a good chuckle out of it. :)

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ANGELOO29 2/25/2011 8:41AM

    Take it easy in the weather!

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FRECKS96 2/25/2011 8:11AM

    Sounds like you did pretty good, all things considered. Good Luck today with the snow. We just got up (down) graded to a winter storm warning (from an advisory). We're looking at 6"+ of really heavy, wet snow.

Take care of yourself and I hope you continue to feel better. Mail the registration for your 4-miler. It will give you something to look forward to! emoticon

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KISSFAN1 2/25/2011 8:03AM

    It sounds like you did pretty well to me. As you know I struggle with being super hungry, tired, don't sleep well, and crampy during my period as well so it's hard. I think you did great considering all that and shouldn't be concerned especially since you ate all those "freggies" and stayed within your calorie range.

Stay safe in all that snow. We just have rain here today which is sorely needed as we have been dry as a bone lately here. Today is the first day we're finally getting a chance to stay at home as it's been a super busy week and I'm relieved that the day it rains is the day we don't have to venture out in it.

Hope you feel better soon.

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DDHEART 2/25/2011 8:02AM

    Sometimes it just is what it is...hope the storm isn't quite as bad as they predict, our last one left us only 4 inches instead of the 10-12 they forecasted so though the wind and drifting was pretty bad at least it wasn't truly ugly!

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SHEILA1505 2/25/2011 8:02AM

    Well that was a good save - so a successful day. Hope you get your snow blower lesson and that the storms aren't too severe after all

Hugs

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What do naturally thin people do?

Thursday, February 24, 2011

While I haven't completely made up my mind about the Austin HM - it's a year away, after all! - I am a planner & of course my thoughts have already turned to it.

So am I checking out HM training plans?

Checking out HM books from the library?

While those things have entered my radar, no. My thoughts have totally turned to what restaurants I'll go to while I'm there.

Did I give you your first chuckle of the morning? Hope so. But it's the truth! That's what I'm thinking about, not whether or not I can actually run 13.1 miles! I could make you really hungry detailing what I want to eat and where, but we won't go there.

I think it's safe to say that I'll never be a naturally thin person. For whatever reason, my brain just isn't wired that way.

But that's okay. I will continue to work hard at being healthy, cause I feel better when I'm at a healthy weight - it is so worth the hard work. And maybe just considering running a HM as a gift to myself for my 50th birthday is a pretty healthy thing after all.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEMPEST272002 2/24/2011 3:08PM

    You did make me laugh! I think it is amazing that you are going to run your first HM at 50. You inspire me & I can't wait to follow how your training goes... and also read your restuarant reviews post-race. emoticon

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KAZINMICH 2/24/2011 2:18PM

    This did make me giggle!! I think it's good forethought and planning to know where you can get good healthy tasty food while there. You are going to be running your butt off, gotta throw some additional enjoyment into the trip!

I know many many many skinny people that constantly think about and eat food. I know people a size 3 that will grab a super size big mac meal for dinner and then be hungry 2 hours later and want ice cream!!! I've learned fat or skinny, it's all about being healthy inside & out.

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DDOORN 2/24/2011 1:08PM

    It's always a worthwhile visit to the National Weight Loss Registry to find out their latest research on folks who are among the 5% who lose the weight and are successful in keeping it off:

http://www.nwcr.ws/


Love your reward trip to Austin...! Always great to keep such things in mind to keep ourselves focused!

Don

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LEONALIONESS 2/24/2011 12:43PM

    I always favor races where I can try some fantastic vegan restaurants while I'm there. I'm looking forward to Green Bay since there's a raw place in town AND one on the way to GB. ;) I've got the full in Portland, OR and I'm just generally buzzing with excitement over that whole experience - it's a top ranked marathon AND it's in vegan food heaven. YAY.

Also, we're driving to WI for my brother's baby shower (ugh, so not my thing - I feel like a freak as the only lady in the room SO uninterested in babies/the baby/baby things/whatever...) in a few weeks and I'm already planning on swinging into Milwaukee for vegan fried cheese sticks (It's been SEVEN YEARS since I've had a mozz stick, I'm eating them, dammit) at the Palomino on our way into town AND plotting hitting the Dells for some truly amazing food at a little bitty veggie restaurant there.

I think that finding super awesome vegan friendly food is somewhat rareish, still, so I'm not ashamed to admit that I will drive intentionally to try new places (or old faves) while traveling. ;)

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SKFEREBEE 2/24/2011 11:11AM

    emoticon

I would definitely reward myself with a nice meal after the race. emoticon

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NATPLUMMER 2/24/2011 10:13AM

    I'd be researching the restaurants first, too ;-)
I don't think I'll ever be naturally thin, either. Some of us just aren't.

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MZSLYDE01 2/24/2011 9:22AM

    LOL - Funny that your thinking about where and what you will be eating. That sounds like something I would do - More worried about all the good food I can get instead of the actual race. Well I know you will be able to do the 13.1 miles and love every minute of it. Wow what an accomplishment. AWESOME.
Is your weather sloppy like ours too??? Yuck I hate it when the snow starts to melt - it just gets gross on the shoes and the vehicles.

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LATTELEE 2/24/2011 8:40AM

  Good luck!

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Austin HM 2012 - who's with me?

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Whenever I run, especially when I run a race, I really question my sanity for wanting to do a HM. Running doesn't come easily to me; I'm slow, but competitive; at the end of every race - and my longest one to date is only 3 1/2 miles - I keep wondering just where the heck they've put the finish line.

Still, next year I turn 50. Running a HM when you turn 50 seems like a good challenge, especially when you just started to run at 48! I don't really have marathon dreams. I'm sure I could do it, if I put my mind to it, but I really just don't want to run for 6+ hours.

I've already been looking at them. I don't particularly want to do one here - no terribly exciting HMs in this area. I was considering Austin, even tho it doesn't fall on any of the great first HM experiences lists.

It has the nostalgia factor: I lived there for 17 years before moving here 2 years ago. It happens to fall right around my birthday. It MIGHT be warm - then again, there could be an ice storm - you never know at that time of year. It would be an easy sell to DH, and if he couldn't come, I'd still feel comfortable there.

And then synchronicity kicked in: my good spark buddy IFDEEVARUNS2 blogged about her own experience running it this year, and said she'd run it with me next year - altho she's both older & faster than me. But how could I pass up an opportunity to meet up with a dear spark buddy? And I have another good spark buddy who runs & lives in San Antonio.

Any other takers? It would be wonderful to meet & run with fellow sparkers. Feb. 19, 2012, btw. Now I have to pray for no injuries, illnesses, and good weather. But I'm already dreaming of dinner at Z Tejas . . .

Come run with me in Austin!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BET212 2/25/2011 1:15AM

    My good friend/supervisor just ran this years HM in Austin. She was proud of herself as she should be but she raved more about he awesome breakfast place they ate at after the race. She was still talking about that today emoticon Where do you live?

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LEONALIONESS 2/24/2011 12:47PM

    My old roommate and good friend lives in Austin and wants me to visit. ;)
I told her I'd look into races (since I'm trying to get a half or full in every state!) and see what I could do. Hrrrrmmmm.

WOW. Look at all the veg/vegan stuff in Austin. *whistles*
http://www.vegguide.o
rg/region/218

If I go, I wouldn't be joining you for dinner. Z Teja's looks pretty not vegan friendly. LOL. ;)

Comment edited on: 2/24/2011 12:54:15 PM

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TURTLE_MOM 2/24/2011 8:17AM

    Would it be the Livestrong? My friend just did the Livestrong last weekend, full marathon! Oh she had a hard time - she barely finished but I keep telling her BUT YOU DID FINISH!

I'm being asked to do the San Antonio Rock and Roll marathon (1/2) in November and I just don't think I could! I have no idea where I'd be at in running - and I'd probably walk a lot of it!

But if you are in Austin, I would def come up to see you. So, yeah, I might be able to actually do the HM too :)

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BESSHAILE 2/24/2011 7:21AM

    I'm no runner but I do love reading about your adventures on the course. I'll really enjoy this one. and, btw, I think my 50's have been the absolutely most fun decade of my life. You have a lot to look forward to

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HEALTH4LYFE 2/23/2011 10:11PM

    emoticon What about the Richmond Half in November? It is supposed to be one of the friendliest races. My sister and I may be doing it this year. emoticon

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HALFFAST 2/23/2011 9:21PM

    Texas is a little far for me, but since you're in NY, how about doing the ING Philly with me in September?! Or wait, you are wanting to do one NEXT year? Hmm, let me think about this.... :)

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NATPLUMMER 2/23/2011 2:23PM

    I'll have to see how my knees hold up. It might be fun to run a HM on my 46th birthday. Of course I should try a first ;-)

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HEYRED221 2/23/2011 10:46AM

    Sounds like an awesome goal to reach - and I know you will do it. I need to gear up my running plan before I could commit to that. I can't even run a 5k yet?!?!

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DDOORN 2/23/2011 10:01AM

    Kudos to your goal! It helps SO MUCH to have one's sights set on something like this!

A funny thing one of my favorite people Molly Ivins (RIP) said about Austin: "I don't live in Texas, I live in AUSTIN!" :-)

Don

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FRECKS96 2/23/2011 9:32AM

    Aw, I wish I could. Unfortunately, that's a bit too far for me to travel unless it lines up with a competition. Awesome that you have a plan though!

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XFITSTRONG 2/23/2011 8:28AM

    Tempting.... :o)!!!!

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Weight: one of life's BIG mysteries

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

There are many of life's little mysteries: why it so often snows on trash pickup day, or why there is a wet dog smell but no wet cat smell, for instance.

Weight, OTOH, is definitely one of life's BIG mysteries, and why I almost titled this blog what a difference 2 pounds make. I can actually SEE the difference in my face when I weigh 140 vs 138. My 140 face makes me unhappy; my 138 face makes me feel happy - it is less jowly and more angular.

DH & I were recently talking about one of my favorite quotes from "White men can't jump" , which goes something like "sometimes when you lose, you really win, and sometimes when you win, you really lose."

Well, sometimes when I lose, I feel as though I've gained, and sometimes when I've gaied, I feel as though I've lost - and sometimes I really know that I've lost. I'm typing this sitting in my focus jeans, and while a little tight, they almost fit. I am unsure of how I've done this week I'm hopeful that maybe I lost a little - altho that would be unusual after a week with a big loss, not to mention TOM is getting close and it wouldn't surprise me to have a gain.

What does it all mean? Why, absolutely nothing, of course. Cause it's not about a number, it's about how we choose to fuelmorselves. Maybe someday I'll even accept that.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAYHIKER 2/23/2011 5:57AM

    Ohhh so true about weight being one of life's great mysteries! One mystery I like is being able to wear smaller clothes at a higher weight with strength training, though. Not that I'm there right now but I remember it well and am heading that way again. emoticon

Hearty congratulations on fitting into those focus jeans! emoticon

Cindy

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KIMPOSSIBLE82 2/22/2011 8:39PM

    So True! It's so easy to rationalize why the scale doesn't matter, but so hard to put it into practice!

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BARBIETEC 2/22/2011 6:33PM

    Grate thoughts!!!

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NATPLUMMER 2/22/2011 11:30AM

    So true!

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TEMPEST272002 2/22/2011 10:52AM

    You know the scale drives me crazy with its cruel unpredictability - but I'm learning to value its opinion less & less. Great job getting into the target jeans!

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HEALTHY4JEANNE 2/22/2011 10:43AM

    I need to drink another cup of coffee so that I am not fuzzy reading this blog.
Judy you are funny.
:) Jeanne

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URLEEC 2/22/2011 10:03AM

    LOL! Today is trash day and we got a half inch of ice last night. Schools are closed.
You want to know something silly too, when I eat a lot of simple carbs at one sitting, be it cake or chips, I can feel it in my face within minutes, as if it's getting bloated. Just had to share that :)
Congrats on getting into your goal jeans and being able to keep them on for any length of time!

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DDOORN 2/22/2011 9:44AM

    It's all about becoming more self-aware...after being so CLUELESS all my life I'm learning to become comfortable in my own skin and to notice those little, but NOT so little things such as the fit of clothes, the improved definition in my face or arms. Big stuff!

Don

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SHEILA1505 2/22/2011 9:26AM

    :D
I've quit chasing the numbers - and going for strength and stamina, as well as trying to iron out a few lumpy bits but the scale can't tell me anything about that

Hugs

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MZSLYDE01 2/22/2011 7:59AM

    LOL - I am still laughing at how wet dog's smell and wet cat's don't..... IT'S SO TRUE THOUGH.
I agree though with the whole weirdness of the weight thing.
You are doing so great with the focus jeans and fitting into them and all. That is really great. And your weight - you are skinny girl. Good for you.

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FRECKS96 2/22/2011 7:59AM

    You're so right, as always! LOL. Snow often does fall on trash days!

All joking aside, congrats on getting into your focus jeans. Hopefully you have a great week this week and carry the momentum through!

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KARBIE18 2/22/2011 7:54AM

    Great blog, as usual. It IS weird. Weight makes no sense. Way to go on getting into those focus jeans. I'm sure it won't be much longer until you'll be looking for new ones!

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SKINNYPOWELL1 2/22/2011 7:49AM

    I am avoiding the emoticon at all costs this week. I just feel fat & bloated, I'm sure it's all in my head, but I can't bring myself to step on it and see a gain, so avoidance is my coping mechanism this week. I'm staying FAR, FAR, AWAY !!!! until I have a day when I'm feeling skinny.

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VERONICAS_GOALS 2/22/2011 7:49AM

    emoticon

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