Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Yesterday started out well. I've been making a habit of listing 3 to-dos for every day. And I got started on them early -- got the laundry in the machine, cleaned a litterbox. Then I got on my treadmill for a looooong, slooooow run.
Long for me, anyway: 7 miles. Slower than usual for me, too: a 4 mph pace. i know for some people 7 miles is still nothing, but to me it still seems hard -- and I keep thinking to myself seriously? You want to try doing double that?
But that's why I'm working on distance now. Cause it takes me time to work up to these things! I don't want to take 3+ hours to run a HM -- not just cause that's a slow time, simply cause I don't really want to spend that much time running!
I'm not even planning to run a HM til 2012. Yup, that's me, the planner. Slow & consistent.
Anyway, I did it, felt somewhat good about the accomplishment (hey, it's only been a couple of years since I ran my first mile after all!), and that is when the proverbial s$*# hit the fan.
A couple of months ago we made an appointment to have our heating checked. Had all sorts of problem just getting the appointment made. I didn't remember when the appointment was -- sort of thought it was today, but no, turns out it was for yesterday. Despite the fact that we made the appointment 2 months ago, they couldn't be bothered with a reminder call (a pattern is starting here).
Good thing my group run was canceled, as the window was 2-5. Only she wanted to know if he could come now cause he had some time. Well, no, I'm sorry I'm in the middle of something that can't be put aside (I was already in the middle of cooking my lunch). She seemed shocked that I couldn't just drop everything to accommodate them.
So she asked if I'd be there at 2 and said he'd come right at 2.
I rush thru cooking my lunch, rush thru eating it, and yes, you guessed it . . . waited . . . and waited . . . and waited.
At 4:15 the phone finally rings. Did I still want him to come today? The previous stop turned out not to have heat so he was running late.
Well, I was upset. Not that they were taking care of a customer without heat, that they couldn't call to tell me they weren't coming at 2 when they had made it seem very important that I be here at 2. Had they called, I would have been able to walk the dogs. They didn't get walked Friday or Saturday due to the weather, and we have more snow predicted our way for tonight & tomorrow.
The girl starts getting upset right back at me, seemingly forgetting that she made a big deal out of the fact he'd be here right at 2, kept quoting that our slot was 2-5. Then going on about how they were helping someone without heat.
Totally missing the point. All I wanted was a call when they knew they would be late! That's it; so I could have gotten on with my life.
Then she asks me if I wanted to hear how her day went. This was my chance to be a big person, but of course I said no, I really don't care, I'm YOUR customer not the other way around. I was not abusive to her, I was not mean -- I was annoyed however. And that is when the phone cut to elevator music.
Seriously? Are you s#*%%ing me? After listening for about a minute I hung up. Apparently she went to get her supervisor, who called me back. Who actually did remember we'd already had problems with them. To say I am unimpressed by this company would be a mild understatement (remember, we've only lived here a year & a half).
Well, long story short, the dogs didn't get walked, but the guy did get here at 5 pm (then took an entire hour -- probably cause DH got home soon after & chatted him up).
So, how did I eat in response to this? Well, I'd already planned some rather high calorie, leftover pasta for dinner. Pasta, butter, garlic, cheese. Not exactly healthy (but it's a small amount of butter and not too heavy on the choose either, about an ounce per serving). I had originally planned a dessert, too, but had decided earlier in the day not to have it.
Well, I did have it. I was hungry. Did I eat in response to my emotions? Maybe. But at least I thought about it. It was just what I wanted, and I savored it. I don't feel guilty. Of course I'll feel angry if there's another gain -- I know I'm pushing it with that dessert -- 7 miles isn't as much energy expenditure as you like to think it is (which is why it's easy to gain weight when training for a race).
Well, I know people love to hear how we're still human & all, so there you go. Very much human.
Monday, January 10, 2011
I'm beginning to think I may be jinxed from running in groups. Last year I signed up for a running tour of NYC, only to have it canceled when my guide got an acting gig & we couldn't set another time.
I joined a local running group, and even signed up for my first group run this afternoon. Only the leader got sick so it's canceled.
No worries, I will still run. But it's cold & it's breezy & I am not my buddy DDHEART & I'm gonna do my long run on the treadmill today. Cause I don't fancy running loops around my neighborhood and I don't really want to give up the time to drive somewhere now that I don't have to.
While I was looking forward to finally running with people and (maybe) conversing -- considering the official pace was much faster than I can run -- I wasn't really enthusiastic about running in the late afternoon, especially as it would get dark before the end of the run and that would make it even colder.
I know I'm not really a jinx, and I know at some point I WILL do a group run. Just not today. And since I have a bunch of chores to do around the house (already got laundry started and one litterbox drip drying), the extra time (and warmth) will be appreciated. I'll just have to give up my hot cocoa!
So where does motivation come from? Well, it can come from many sources, but one great source is actually having an exercise group/buddy/partner. It's way easier to wimp out on exercise when you're only effecting yourself.
For all the reasons stated above, I would never choose to run at that time at this time of year. But I was motivated to at least try running with other people -- that would've worked to get me out the door.
So even if you think you're a lone wolf, give a group/buddy/partner a try. Even if you're very shy, as I am (no, really, I am; you'd know that if you met me in RL without having met me here first).
And if you don't have any RL groups/buddies/partners, that's the beauty of SP. You've got them just waiting to join you here.
You don't want to disappoint your buddies, now do you? I thought not.
Sunday, January 09, 2011
It already looks like my goal to be at my WW GW by my birthday may already be out of reach, but I haven't thrown in the towel yet.
One of my goals for this weekend was to think long and hard about a reward that would motivate me. I was having real trouble, cause pretty much everything I was thinking up that was REALLY motivating cost money, and of course one of my other goals is to save up for my Ipad.
Finally I hit it: use one of the house cleaning coupons my husband got us. Perfect. Very motivating to have to do less cleaning around my birthday. And it's already paid for.
Now, what exactly do I reward, tho? I already know that try as hard as I might weight loss isn't really under my control. Oh, I suppose it could be if I never ate any sugar again and never ate out. I don't eat out a whole lot, and even less than usual lately -- but those aren't really realistic goals for me.
I'm having a bit of a problem coming up with something that is truly measurable and something I'm not already doing. Exercise is not a problem for me -- and I already feel like I spend most of my spare time exercising (altho I suppose I need to really do the math like my buddy Carolyn) -- maybe just a bit of extra exercise 4 times a week? Or one extra run a week (I typically only run 3 days a week)?
Maybe weigh & measure everything a certain number of times per week?
Record every BLT?
A savory breakfast x number of times per week?
I've got to think some more about this, but I've got to make a decision soon! Before I know it, my birthday will be only a month a way!
Friday, January 07, 2011
Thinking back on my week, this is probably the thing that stands out the most: creeping portion sizes. It's amazing how little things can really add up -- in both a good and a bad way.
I've blogged about my oatmeal + almond butter + chocolate chip habit. And now I have a new love: Artisana Cashini (raw cashew butter + raw tahini). It may be expensive, but it's worth every $$ IMHO. I'm not terribly fond of tahini, truth be told, but this stuff rocks.
Only then I start with the rounded half cups of oatmeal, rounded tablespoon of cashini, rounded tablespoon of chocolate chips . . . well, you get the picture. So that is my goal this week: no creeps allowed!
Oh, there were lots of other factors in yesterday's ticker movement, but this is the one I can control. The scale wouldn't bother me so much if I hadn't been on a plateau for a frickin' year & a half.
I suppose I can't really say it's a plateau . . . technically last week I was at my lowest weight in at least 15 years. But by very little.
Ok. Moving on. Nuff said.
So, I read a little bit about the Dempsey Challenge in a magazine this week. I already knew about it a little bit -- friends of ours did it this past summer. They had the photos with Patrick Dempsey to prove it. What I didn't know is that in addition to the cycling events, there are also runs.
So, all excited, I told my husband (one of the runs is a 10k & I've been looking around for my first 10k). I figured maybe I could sweetalk him into it if our friends did it again this year. Not him participating, mind you, but just us going. As a vacation.
And while we don't yet know if our friends are doing it again, he did say he knows they are planning a trip to ME around that time. He seems interested.
Only wrinkle? He is almost always way busy traveling at that time of the year (beginning of Oct). Plus he is contemplating a new job that would require even more travel. New job at the same place, that is. We'll see how things shake out.
In addition to the snowshoe race next weekend, I am thinking about joining a group run on Monday afternoon. It's actually at a trail I know (have blogged about before), so I know how to get there & it's not too far.
Of course, it might be snow-laden (thanks, DH, like I hadn't thought of that -- NOT!). And the pace is supposed to be 10 min. miles which is way faster than I can run -- certainly for the posted 5 mile run (altho I can't see that trail actually being 5 miles).
I figure I can always start out with them and then just drop back & run by myself. That way I get to meet new people, push myself a bit, and get a run in.
I was very happy the predicted snow held off so I could get my swim in last night. I was so hoping that it would hold off long enough to walk the dogs this morning. All I needed was another half an hour, but it's already coming down thick enough that I know it's not worth trying to drag the dogs around. I don't mind walking in it, but they do. It's amazing the dead weights 2 little 10 lb dogs can be when they put their minds (and bodies) to it.
Ok, so this week let's kick all the creeps to the curb!
Thursday, January 06, 2011
It's the toughest thing to do. I'm past the "I gained weight so I might as well just eat mindset" -- yeah, the thought will cross my mind, but I never act on it. The scale still does hold power over me. For a little while.
I didn't like putting my ticker up today, but I did it. Oh, there are gazillion reasons it might've happened, some within my control, some not within my control. Will it make a difference next week? Will I do better because if I don't the whole SP world will see it (like everyone on SP even looks at my ticker -- can we say swelled head & narcissistic?). Remains to be seen.
I especially hate the feeling that I seem to be able to eat something one week and lose, the next and gain. It does play head games with me. Makes me confused. After all these years, you'd really think I'd get it. That my weight loss could just be consistent.
I have goals! Goals I *really* want to achieve! I've been asking myself a lot if this will get me to my goals -- with food, with exercise, with what I'm spending. I've been reminding myself of all my goals.
And yet . . .
So I will stay the course. Do my best to do what I know works, because I really do want to reach my goals. Re-evaluate and see if something needs to change. And remember to manage my thoughts in a positive way.
Get An Email Alert Each Time JLITT62 Posts