Sunday, January 02, 2011
I always believe that the end of a year and the beginning of a new one deserves reflection. Where you've been, where you're going, where you'd like to go.
Right now I am reflecting on what I'd like to be my word this year. This is the first word I've actually thought about it. I've written down a few so far:
I'd like to be kinder to myself. Not feel guilty about what I eat. Not feel worthless because of the number on the scale. Not feel like a failure because I didn't finish my to-do list.
Be kinder to those around me, too. I have been prickly with my husband, prickly with my parents.
This is one I keep coming back to, but I'm not sure it's the right one yet.
The courage to do the things that make me afraid. The courage to get to the bottom of just why I am afraid of something.
This is important, to be sure, but I'm not sure I want it to be the focus of 2011.
Did you see that one coming? I know this is the year I'd like to get to my GW. Of course, I said the same thing about last year. I'd like to be more focused in my day-to-day life, not wasting my time procrastinating. I'd like to stay focused on my goals.
Yet I'm still not sure this one speaks to me.
Release the weight.
Release the guilt.
Release the fear.
This is definitely a powerful word, and encompasses a lot of the words I'm also pondering.
Create the life I want to live.
Shape my life, shape my body, shape my spirit, shape my relationships.
Well, I just started thinking about this yesterday. Many of the ideas speak to me, but so far the words don't really. Maybe it's time for a thesaurus!
What do you want your word to be this year?
Saturday, January 01, 2011
That's what they call it. The half marathon is the Hangover Half Marathon. Everyone starts together -- then the HMers loop around what must seem like incessantly (going back & forth). I don't think I see that particular HM in the my future.
Anyway, the woman with the wild hair above is not me. But we kept toying with each other, passing, sliding behind, passing.
There were no mile markers, no water (until I'm guessing maybe 3 miles -- obviously meant for the HMers). I had no idea where I was or how far I had to go.
At one point we passed a bank, and in my addled state I saw the clock and thought 12:19 -- that's not good! But that was the time. D'oh.
As we neared the end wild hair woman asked me if we were finished. I said I had no clue, never having run it before.
I kind of like the photo above. Just me & my run. I went back & forth with a lot of people, and even managed to actually pass a few people.
I was not last -- the photo below proves that!
I did worry about that a few times when I no longer heard anyone behind me.
In the photo below, we were (finally) nearing the end. I was smiling cause I saw DH standing off to the side.
This wasn't a chip timed race -- the time on the clock when I finished was 38:48, which puts me at a 11:05 minute pace -- which is actually faster than my last 5k, which was an 11:17 minute pace. My actual time might've been about half a minute less, since I started in the middle to back of the pack. Whatever.
I'm pleased with it. I didn't really have big time goals. My 2 goals were a) Don't be last b) Don't get lost and I managed both. In fact, apparently quite a few of the HMers did go the wrong way for a bit -- it wasn't the best organized race. I would do it again. I just wanted to start out the new year right.
DH was a total grump all day long. And they say women bitch! I am very grateful to him for driving me, and for taking photos, but I could've used a bit more positive energy. I suggested (more than once) that maybe he shouldn't stay up to midnight next new year's eve (I certainly didn't, and haven't, in years).
We went to a diner for lunch afterwards, and I got eggs & pancakes. They did have pizza available after the race, but I'd rather sit down and enjoy my food. We actually did go to this pizza place DH keeps talking about that I've never been to, but unfortunately they were closed.
My buddy KEAKMAN will be happy to know that I joined a running group (well, joined online). Altho they had a presence there, since I don't know anyone yet I just ran my own race. They have a snowshoe race in a couple of weeks. I've always wanted to try snoeshowing, and they have loaners, but I don't really want to try racing in them as my first experience . . . but yes, I am definitely leaning towards doing it. Depending on the weather.
So how bout you? How was your new years? Are you starting out on the right foot?
Friday, December 31, 2010
So what were the highlights of your year?
Without a doubt, our trip to Kauia was at the top of the least. 10 days in paradise. Need I say more?
Our trip to NYC was pretty high up there, too. A food walking tour of Greenwich Village, shopping til I dopped (well, sort of), sushi, and a broadway show. What more could a girl ask for? Well, warmer weather sure would've been nice (it was May, for cryin' out loud, and I had to buy a sweater & scarf & shoes I was so cold!).
Finishing our kitchen remodel.
I had a goal to run one 5k this year; I ran 2 -- and would've run more if family didn't keep getting in the way! And improved my time by 7 minutes from run 1 to run 2 on the exact same course (but totally different weather conditions).
The return of swimming! Probably should be higher up there. Oh, how I've missed you. Even if I now have to do it in the dead of winter either at night or way too early in the morning.
Finishing the year lighter than I started it. Ok, it was only 1 1/2 lbs lighter, and most likely I'll back up there next week with TOM, but it still encourages me. Someday I will get to my GW. Oh, and I can finally officially say I lost 30 lbs -- I flirted so close to it for so long -- good way to ring out the year!
The return of meditation. I just started meditating spontaneously in the mornings while in Hawaii. I don't sit down for 20 minutes straight (altho I often did there), but it might be 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there. Everything can be broken down into baby steps!
Speaking of baby steps, I returned to actually making small goals & tracking them. So far I have made a habit of sweeping the laundry room (where the litterboxes are) each morning, wiping down the kitchen once a day, and right now I'm working on eating 1 cup of greens daily at least 5 times a week. I do eat plenty of veggies, but I see a real difference when I make the extra effort to make sure I'm getting my greens. It's easy in the spring/summer, but I don't crave salads so much during the winter.
Speaking of greens, I've delved even more into raw foods this year. I don't think I'll ever be 100% raw, maybe not even 75% -- maybe not even 50! -- but that's ok. I believe that just adding more raw food into your life has health benefits.
I plan to continue to working on small goals, building healthy habits consistently. Consistency is the key to most anything in life. I may not be naturally athletic, I may not be fast, but I can -- and am -- a consistent runner. And exerciser.
Really work on letting go of guilt over food. It's so ingrained in me, from childhood, when I would sneak sweets and of course be scolded for it. Food & feelings are still, at the almost half century mark, still all mixed up for me. But they're getting sorted out. They may never be completely sorted out, but it's certainly something to strive towards.
Work harder on the spending thing. I realized when I went to Marshalls yesterday that I am making strides -- it's been months since I'd been there or to TJMaxx (one is within walking distance of the grocery store, the other within walking distance of Target -- too easy to get to!). I've already download a expense app to my Ipod to work on this goal. I want to save up for an Ipad & a dehydrator this year.
Become more social. This has always been a temporary move, but we'll be here at least another year & a 1/2 and I suspect it could be even longer. Time to find some groups and actually participate.
Move my ticker every week. I've never moved it up -- and that happens a lot (but even with the ups I'm still 30 lbs down from 2 1/2 yrs ago) -- but maybe it will motivate me more to stick to my plan & goals if I know I'll have to move the darn thing in the wrong way. It's worth a try, anyway.
Get to my WW GW by my birthday.
Get to the GW on my ticker by the boys' birthday, which is 6 weeks after my birthday.
Well, that's it for now. What were the highlights for you in 2010? What are you looking forward to in 2011? What are your goals for 2011?
Oh, and cause everyone loves photos, before:
Thursday, December 30, 2010
So here's kind of how my inner dialog went yesterday:
Me: I'm hungry.
Stomach: Great! How about one of those mini clif bars?
Me: Sounds good. Oh, wait a sec, let me see how many points that is now. Hmmm. 3 pts. And they really don't fill me up. And I probably wouldn't actually write it down, anyway.
Stomach. Okey dokey. What about a Luna bar?
Me: That sounds good, too. They're usually more filling. Let's see how many points they are now. Hmm. 5 pts. That's a lot of points especially with WI tomorrow.
Am I really hungry? Yes, I really am.
Stomach: Ok. What about a vitatop? Maybe with a little peanut butter. Those are usually pretty filling.
Me: Yeah, those are usually very filling. But do I really need all those fake sugars? No, I don't. How about an apple? That will satisfy my hunger, my need to crunch something, and my need for something sweet.
And so I ate an apple. Mind you, this was maybe an hour before dinner. I would like to say that was the end of it, but I really was hungry and I did have handful of raisins, too.
Still, this is the whole point (get it?) of points plus: to steer us away from the fake foods and towards the real, unprocessed, whole foods. And it worked the way it should. And I was rewarded by a large loss this week (even tho I don't feel like it since I'm all bloated with TOM which also explains the hunger).
I do find myself reaching for fruit more often than I might have in the past. I never shied away from eating fruit, but now that it doesn't carry a points penalty, I do eat more fruit. And have it more often for dessert.
Up until this week, I felt very frustrated tho. Everyone seemed to be doing so well on the plan, and nothing much had seemed to change for me other than the fact that I was much less hungry most of the time.
And maybe I'll see a gain next week. But today's meeting was very motivating (and not just because of the weight loss, it was the whole discussion. My SP calendars also arrived today; perfect timing.
If I'm lucky and I work hard, I could actually be at my GW by my birthday. At the very least I could be at a new low -- as I am today. One of my SP buddies had challenged us to try to lose weight this holiday season -- and I did! Ok, so the net was about 1/2 a pound, but I'll take it.
If I buckle down and work hard, I may or may not get to my GW by my birthday -- but I can certainly lower my ticker again.
Oh, and my meeting motivated me so much that I just walked right by the chocolate cake samples at the grocery store (and man, they sure did look good!). I have to remember what I did yesterday, remember how I felt today, and spend some more time working on my goals.
And of course I'd love to hear what your inner dialog sounds like.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
I swear, every morning I get up, I open the blinds, and somehow I expect to see no snow. Like a foot of snow melts overnight when the temps are still below freezing. Crazy the tricks our minds play on us, right?
Just like we expect our weight to at least stay the same, even when we're eating more treats than normal and not exercising. Cause we're waiting for the magic of the season to erase those pounds.
We all know it, but I'll say it once again: there is no magic to weight loss. There are the foods we eat, the amount we move, and the way we allow our thoughts to shape us. It really is just that simple, even tho we like (myself included) to pretend it isn't.
No magic potions, spells, or pills. The magic comes from the results we see from our hard work -- and the gifts that gives us: a better looking body, more energy, more self confidence.
Barring a monsoon, I am planning to run the New Year's Day race. Are you with me? Who else is up for it? Knowing you're going to run the next day might just help you to have a sensible New Year's Eve.
Of course, we don't go out and I don't drink, so it's not that hard for me. Except for the fact that it does mean I have to get out of the house and head out into the unknown with unknown people around me (and hope I can actually find the danged thing). But I don't actually have to leave the house til about 10:30 am, so that's not so bad.
DH is pondering taking the dogs and coming with me. I am not holding my breath. This is the same man who said he'd drive me to my first race, but when push came to shove didn't want to leave his cozy house (in the summer). He didn't come to either of my 2 races, and I can't say as I really blame him -- not terribly exciting.
He is supportive in other ways, tho, like finding me more information about where registration actually is and a map of the campus.
Next year one of my goals is to buy an Ipad. I'm hoping by the time I have saved up for it, they will have some refurbished ones for sale. My Ipod Touch was refurbished, straight from the Apple store, and I haven't had any problems with it.
Funny, as a graphic designer I never fell in love with Macs. Altho I was PC based, I eventually bought a Mac, too, but it just didn't grab me. But I love my Ipod, and can definitely see the uses of an Ipad, too. The only thing that bothers me about them is that they don't display Flash video, and I have several blogs I read that regularly post Flash videos. Grrrr.
I realized that basically I need to save about $50/month -- totally doable; I just have to go on a small spending diet. And I'm afraid to say I'm sort of starting my spending diet like many people start they're food diets -- doing what I want now with the plan of tightening ship come the new year.
Don't get me wrong, we live well within our means -- but I need to stop buying clothes & shoes! Or at least less of them! Stop the instant gratification thing. I wondered why that seem to have become so hard, only one day someone on TV talked about how shopping is now available to us 24/7. Ding, ding, DING!
It's gonna take some discipline, and I've got to spend some more time thinking about the baby steps I need to make. But I know it's a worthy goal. Not the Ipad so much (I just want it! I lust after it!), but the getting the spending under control. Cause sometimes when we get one addiction under control (read: food) another one just takes its place (read: shopping). They're really all just trying to fill a hole that can't be filled with things.
So wish me luck! And stop waiting for the magic -- you have the magic within you, so make it so!
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