Tuesday, December 28, 2010
As in fear. As in what still so often holds me back. I think this is definitely something I have to work on for 2011.
I am definitely thinking of doing the Hangover 3 1/2 mile race on New Year's Day. I waffled back & forth for a long time. At first the weather looked bad, but right now it's looking pretty good. Hopefully we'll be above freezing! It might rain, but it's a relatively small chance.
The fearful me says I can just run in my neighborhood. That way I don't have to spend time driving to the race, walking around in the cold waiting for it to begin (and not knowing anyone), I don't have to worry about getting lost, and I don't have to fear being last (considering that I think about a couple of hundred people run it).
But the me that says fear is part of what keeps me from reaching my GW says that the weather is looking good so far. That I have to push myself out of my comfort zone, and if I get lost? Well, it's an experience, and experiences are never bad -- it's only our thoughts about our experiences. And most things are never as bad as we fear they will be anyway!
I may change my mind if the weather goes south.
At the moment the sun is sparkling on the new, powdery , white snow. No doubt it will be hidden behind clouds by the time it warms up enough to walk the dogs this afternoon -- when hopefully the sun will have melted the snow still somewhat covering the roads. We did not walk yesterday, but I'm hoping we'll get out this afternoon.
The dogs had fun racing around their paths this morning, but didn't want to stay out long and who can blame the -- still in the teens. In fact, when we were out shoveling yesterday, it was 15 but was supposed to feel like -5 with the windchill. I actually didn't notice. The layers, my ski-type pants, and the activity all kept me warm.
Took about an hour all told to clear the driveway, front walk, and make paths for the dogs in the backyard -- with me shoveling and DH snow blowing. I think we got about 9", he thinks we got a foot.
When I told DH that I planned to run yesterday, his eyes got really big. Well, I never said I planned to run outside! No, I ran on the treadmill.
And that's it for my ramblings. I'm noting some races down on my calendar today.
So do you think fear holds you back from living the life you want? What fears are you working on?
Monday, December 27, 2010
This is what we woke up to this morning. Well, of course it wasn't shoveled when I woke up. About half a foot of light, powdery snow (thank God, not the heavy stuff) and it's still snowing furiously. They seem to have got it right, except for the fact that it started much later in the day than predicted.
I have little dogs. Some little dogs don't care about getting wet, but mine would prefer most anything to getting their little paws wet. So last year my husband built this shelter for them. They only used it a few times. Most of the time they still run out into the snow; go figure.
Sorry for the indelicate position in this next photo.
This morning they took one looked at the as-yet-to-be-cleared walk and backed right away from the door. So I went out, knocked snow off the roof of their shelter, shoveled snow away from the door area, and shoveled a path to the big pine tree near the fence.
I still had to go pick up Chester & physically carry him outside, but he did do his business -- in the shelter! -- which makes DH happy. Lola is stubborn. She ran around a bit, even circling, circling, circling under the shelter, but did nothing.
So what's my point? I love my animals, but they sure can be a whole lot of work. Snow is certainly pretty when you can hole up inside with a cup of hot cocoa and just watch it falling. But these guys gotta go outside. And because they're so small, I have to shovel paths for them in the backyard.
Think about shoveling your driveway. Your front steps. And THEN having to shovel paths in in your backyard, too!
For me, tho, the rewards of sharing my life with these guys outweigh the hard work they bring into my life.
Just like the rewards from being a smaller size far outweigh all the hard work it takes to get there.
Oh, and if you actually like & miss snow, I sure wish I could wave a magic wand & just send it your way! I never missed it when I lived in Austin. Not once in 17 years. We did actually get snow a few times, but only a dusting.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Guilt comes in small & big packages (appropriate for today, no?). Sometimes I get stuck in a rut. I like something so much, I eat it every day. Sometimes it's even healthy! And sometimes it's mostly healthy, with a tablespoon of indulgence thrown in. Enter my current fav breakfast: peanut butter cup oatmeal.
I've written about this before, but I've refined it to make it a tad healthier. 1/2 cup oats, topped with 1 tbsp almond butter (no sugar! only almonds! sometimes raw!) and 1 tbsp Ghiradelli bittersweet chocolate chips. Oh, and 1 tbsp ground flaxseed mixed in.
But I've found those small indulgences + a bit less exercise = weight gain.
I found myself feeling guilty about that 1 tbsp of chocolate chips. And how silly is that?
This morning I employed a technique I'd read about -- and use sometimes -- to stay present. To simply tell myself what I'm doing: I'm cutting vegetables, I'm cleaning the kitchen, I'm sweeping the laundry room -- to keep my mind on what I'm doing, not the million other things I should be doing.
This morning the refrain was: I nourish my body with healthy whole foods. Rather than beat myself up about a silly tablespoon of chocolate chips (yes, I measure them out), I focused on the positive.
I'm betting you could use these techniques today. Let me know what you do. And let me know what you get! Curious minds want to know.
Friday, December 24, 2010
And no, I am not referring to DH this time.
I have chatted up a number of members at my WW meetings. And all the ones I meet for the first time always say "you don't have any weight to lose" and I just want to slap them.
I know in their minds they believe this, and that they also believe they are complimenting me. But the truth is I'm still 10 lbs away from my GW (depending on the week), stuck in a plateau, and probably 20 lbs away from a really healthy weight.
And I resent that $40 I have to pay every month.
Of course, then they ask how much weight I have to lose, and the usual reply is "that's nothing" and I just want to slap them even harder.
Oh, the assumptions we make! If it's nothing, then how come I'm not at my GW already? And do you have any idea how much weight I've lost so far and how hard it was and how long it took and what I looked like before (no, of course not)? And that fact that I'm very short makes those 30 lbs more like 50 lbs on a normal sized person?
Still, I am proud of myself for not giving up this time. For sticking with what I know works, no matter how hard it is and how frustrating it is at times. I have been at this point before -- more than once -- and given up.
I am proud that I have maintained that weight loss for over a year now. It would be oh-so-easy to say what's the point and stop exercising and start eating whatever I want to eat.
I am proud that this time I have stuck with running, even tho it's hard, even tho it doesn't come naturally to me.
I am even proud of myself for showing restraint and not slapping people around -- maybe just a little eyeroll.
There is ALWAYS something to be proud of. What are you proud of?
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