Thursday, November 18, 2010
I spent my last morning in Hawaii going for barefoot run/walk intervals at sunrise along the beach. Apparently a few deep thoughts crept in there as well!
So yes, as I was running along, I realized that everything in life is a risk. I could step on something and hurt myself. I could be stung by a man o' war or a jellyfish (thankfully never saw either, but they do have them).
The surf was high, so sometimes I had to run thru it. And sometimes I got a bit wet running thru the surf.
And then I realized if I just stopped and faced the waves head on, I wouldn't get splashed. Just like most of the time when we face our fears head on instead of trying to run away from them, we find out they're really not that bad after all.
Like I could go away for 10 days in Paradise (with a capital P!), eat most (but not all) of what I wanted, and probably not gain all that much. I wouldn't be surprised to find I gained something, but my jeans still fit and I don't regret a single thing I ate.
Not being guilty is such a big key! I found I felt guilty more when I was presented with rich food and very few healthy choices -- when I had no control. When I chose to eat something rich, I savored it and I was ok with it.
One spark buddy blogged about how she got thru last year's holidays and still lost weight. She wrote about the 3 bite rule: how she can have whatever she wants, but all she needs is 3 bites.
I am not quite that advanced, but I, too, employ the 3 bites rule, only mine goes like this: leave 3 bites on your plate. That I can, and did, do.
Surfer guy knew to hit the waves head-on, too.
And sometimes when you face your fears head-on, your boat comes in too.
Corny, I know, but I couldn't resist. We were right by where the cruise ships docked. Five years ago that was us -- at that very same harbor. Life can be very strange at times.
It definitely was one of the best vacations of my life. But then I've been very lucky in my life, and I've been able to travel to many amazing places. I truly don't think I've ever had a bad vacation.
I would probably have told you that my last vacation in Hawaii, 5 years ago, was one of my best vacations. And that time I was suffering from some female problems, and was in quite a bit of pain for at least half the trip, and didn't swim a single time.
And yet I had a great time. But at the same time, I feel like I've been given a do-over. I swam almost every day (and loved every minute of it). The weather was glorious. I think we got 15 minutes of rain the entire time, altho there was a downside to that -- we didn't see a single rainbow. Not one. Our first trip rainbows were almost a daily experience.
There will be many more photos to come. This one I just liked the reflection of the sky in the water.
Oh sure, there were a few little frustrations. Being slowed down by DH at times. Not being able to explore on my own as much as I would've liked to. But the good way outweighed the bad. And at least for now, I've brought that feeling of being at peace back with me, for however long it will last.
It is a very long trip -- basically 24 hours -- and I'm very tired. And those tropical breezes are gone. But I'm smiling a lot. It was a wonderful vacation, but it's good to be home too. And it will be good to be reunited with the dogs later today, too, even if they're a lot of work. And of course I've got to do some grocery shopping today since there's very little food in the house at present.
Fear still holds me back from a lot. I know that. I recognize it. It's something I continually have to work on, and having a pictorial reminder of that ain't bad. Do you face your fears head on?
Monday, November 15, 2010
Which has absolutely nothing to do with weight loss or healthy living, just a little factoid we actually got from our guide on our photo tour.
He had a friend who worked as a grip on the 4th Pirates movie, which was wrapped here a few months ago. And his friend went out to smoke a cigarette, and there was Johnny Depp smoking too (bad Johnny!). So they were chatting, and his friend said how weird it was, cause they were having a normal conversation and Johnny was in his Cpt. Sparrow costume.
So anyway, apparently a producer got wind of it and fired his friend on the spot, cause they'd been told in no uncertain terms not to talk to the talent. But then Johnny got wind of it, and got him rehired, said he was keeping him company and HE was allowed to talk to him (Johnny).
So gorgeous, talented, AND nice. A triple threat.
The tour, btw, was billed as "light" hiking. Light hiking my foot! The trails were steep, narrow, and slippery. But worth it!
The frustrating part is that DH has been basically out of commision since then (tired, stomach bothering him today), so we've just relaxed the last couple of days. There's nothing wrong with relaxing, of course, but it's frustrating. I can't even really go out on my own if I wanted to, since it cost another $12 per day for me to drive the car (and it already costs $15 per day to park the damn thing!) so we didn't do it and I can't drive.
Tomorrow our flight isn't until 9 pm, so I'm hoping we get to do tomorrow what we'd planned to do today.
The weather has been gorgeous. Much nicer than the last time we were here -- the only downside being that we haven't seen a single rainbow where last time it was almost a daily event.
A couple of days ago we drove down to a town called Hanapepe, which was having an craft store stroll. They had a vegetarian cafe we were going to eat til we saw the prices. But we did have dessert there -- the brownies -- and OMG they were awesome. Actually, we both got dessert (usually we share) so that we could taste 2 desserts. I only ate half of the brownies (they were humongous) and still have the rest in the fridge a few days later.
Yesterday I wasn't very hungry for dinner -- had a late lunch of fish quesadillas (also awesome), which were very filling. I don't think I've had anything other than fish in one form or another for dinner since we've been here -- so I had the salad bar, and fruit (finally some fresh fruit!) for dessert.
And that is usually how I try to handle vacations -- balance. Big lunch? Light dinner. Rich dessert? Probably had a light dinner beforehand. Big breakfast (like today, a large vegetarian omelette with wheat toast) -- no lunch, just some snacks (the breakfast was also a bit later than usual for me, plus I did my long run this morning and swam later on).
It's all about the balance. Which is a heck of a lot easier to do when you're not the one actually having to cook for a change.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
I try hard to savor my food, and to not feel guilty about what I eat. I know that stress can actually cause weight gain. But sometimes it's hard to let go of the guilt, for eating not so well -- due to circumstances -- even when you know you're doing the best that you can.
We had 3 "receptions" and 1 banquet for my husband's conference. The first reception wasn't so bad, there was sushi and this delicious salsa-filled avocado appetizer (basically, they've been a bunch of appetizers at each except for the banquet).
The next 2 were challenges. The first, as I've blogged, barely had any veggies available at all, if I hadn't piled my plate high with the broccoli garnish. Almost everything was high fat, either fried or with a cream source, even salmon en croute -- taking healthy salmon and making it a nutritional bombshell. Of course you could not eat the pastry -- and I didn't eat it all.
The second night there really wasn't a vegetable in sight. Luckily I'd had a nice salad for lunch. And both of those receptions didn't have desserts, either. Oh, and fresh fruit never did make an appearance at any breakfast -- altho there were vegan muffins one morning and I did try those!
The banquet yesterday wasn't so bad. No appetizers, surprisingly. A salad. A very small amount of veggies with dinnerk, which was mahi mahi (but nut encrusted with some sort of cream sauce). And cheesecake for dessert.
The food has been good, just extremely rich. Mostly I've made sure to have somewhat healthy breakfasts & lunches. And I've swum every day, done yoga every day, weight trained a couple of times and run a couple of times (planning another run tomorrow, but we'll see if the weather -- which so far has been great -- cooperates).
I wore my silver dress last night. Yes, we took photos, but I don't geta whole lot of time on the computer so it'll have to wait til I get home. This afternoon I was still in my workout clothes when DH got back (last day of meetings for him!) and he said this is gonna sound weird, but you look really good in those (short shorts). Well, yeah, it sounds weird & I still have trouble with compliments and I'm sure I've gained some weight, but I'll still take it.
We've booked a photo tour for Saturday, and wanted to do a boat tour of the Na Pali coast but that just wasn't meant to be -- wrong time of year for it, not enough time, yadda yadda. At least we got to see it from our cruise ship last time we were here (the same cruise ship that's docked near us today). Talk about a weird deja vu!
Yesterday I found myself just suddenly meditating in the mornihng, something I've haven't done in a long while. I've listened to guided mediations a lot, but haven't just sat down on my own. Didn't plan it, just sort of happened. And then I realized that since the cover for my kindle has a built in light, I could go out on the lanai in the evening (or morning before sunrise) and read! We don't face the beach, but you can still hear the waves crashing and it's very peaceful.
I have to remind myself some more WWMSBD? How would they let the guilt go? How would they manage to eat healthy despite the circumstances? Where there's a will, there's a way.
Amd of course, if this is the worst of my problems (other than getting my car appraised when I get home), then I am a very lucky girl.
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
DH decided not to take his laptop to his evening session, and I actually have a blog in mind, so here I am.
Another beautiful day in paradise. We've gotten very lucky with the weather so far -- apparently there was quite a bit of rain the week before we got here. It still usually rains at least once a day, but in general, it's been very nice -- ESPECIALLY considering they had snow in Albany today! More than an inch! I am quite happy to have missed that, since it wasn't forecast and I would've missed my morning swim.
I actually did miss my morning swim here, but only because I chose to run instead and we had a tour in the afternoon so no time.
But as I people watched around the pool yesterday, I thought that I was actually one of the thinner women there. Yes, I'm sorry, I still do compare myself. Oh sure, there were a few babes in bikinis, but I felt good about myself and my body. Delusions of grandeur, perhaps. I'm sure I wouldn't feel as good about the pictures; I so rarely do -- they just don't show me what I see when I look in the mirror.
But after weeks of seeing the anorexic-looking soccer team girls as I'm dressing after my morning swims, I looked around me and thought: you know what? I'm not that much heavier than most of the women wearing bikinis. Most of them don't have perfect, leggy bodies, either.
It's given me renewed ambition to reach my GW. It wasn't that far away when I left, and even tho I'm sure I'm going to gain something while away, I know how to take it back off when I get home (even with Thanksgiving in there). I CAN do it. I want to DO it.
Because if I can get to my GW by next year, and if we go to the conference in Miami, I just might buy myself a bikini.
I was beginning to see some definition in my arms before I left. Eating has been a bit of a challenge today. First there was no fruit at breakfast (seriously? in Hawaii?) -- but I loaded up on the grilled veggies. Then we had to gobble our lunches down in about 10 minutes. And then I REALLY had to go on a scavenger hunt for veggies at dinner (buffet reception), and everything was really rich. I did amaze quite a few with the dent I made in the broccoli garnish.
I did my best, and thankfully I got my long run in (even got rained on just a tiny bit). And am really thankful there weren't any desserts at all to tempt me.
So there you have it: I may be delusional, but I also know what to do, and I know what a difference that could truly make in my body. I want to wear a bikini, thunder thighs in all.
Sunday, November 07, 2010
DH wanted to lay down a bit, so I get the computer for a while. Unfortunately, there is no wireless here (for free, anyway) and I've discovered while I can read blogs on my Kindle, I can't write them on it.
I love to people watch. I love to see what they're wearing, what their expressions are. And I was struck yesterday at how few people were smiling as they boarded planes.
Now, I get that traveling is a PITA. Hey, we arrived almost literally 24 hrs after leaving our house yesterday. I get it, believe me.
But especially on that last flight, we're going to Hawaii, people! Seriously, you can't smile about that even if you are in a total haze?
Actually, I feel fine today, just exceptionally hungry. We'll get back to that.
So I made it a point to smile as much as possible. Cause I'm going to paradise, and I know just how lucky I am. And I thought about living life passionately.
It's so important, no matter what we're doing. It's so easy to get all wrapped up in the minutiae of our daily lives. The news is always terrible. The weather could be, too (OMG, it was absolutely FREEZING on that jetway in MN). And, of course, maybe we've just binged or we gained weight when we thought we'd lose.
Doesn't matter. Tell me that the next time I'm complaining about those very things!
What really matters is to live your life with passion, with pleasure -- even when you're struggling. Because really, what's the point of being pissed off about everything? Does it make you feel good? Is it working for you? Remind me I said that the next time I'm pissed off, please!
Apparently it's been very rainy here for the last week, but today is gorgeous. We walked along the beach at sunrise (normally DH would never be moving at that time of day, but of course we haven't quite adjusted to the time difference yet).
We discovered a little shack that had reasonable, good breakfasts. We sat out by the pool and I swam in circles around it. We had a nice (if expensive) lunch outside near the pool.
I have, for some odd reason, been extraordinarily hungry the last couple of days. I had great food yesterday, despite traveling, and plenty of water. And despite having breakfast, lunch, and dinner and a few snacks, still found room for sushi when we got here. An open air sushi bar right by the beach. Definitely my idea of heaven!
Today I am still hungry.
I made the decision not to bring my pedometer, not to track my food (other than mentally). But I had a fruit smoothie for breakfast (with protein powder) and an avocado salad for lunch; I stive to have a couple of healthy meals at least a day if I can manage it.
Not sure how often I'll get to blog -- but today I already had the idea for this one so wanted to get it out there, even tho it's sort of rambling. And speaking of rambling, when DH saw my bathing suit all he said was "wow!". I kind of feel like Rip Van Winkle, slowly waking up after a long sleep.
I'm going to try to remember that if if I lead a normaly small, unexciting life, I can still be passionate about what I do.
How bout you, when was the last time you felt some passion in your life?
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