Friday, November 05, 2010
I got to thinking yesterday, about how my buddy Donna will bring our buddy Kate on her runs sometimes, and how our buddy Kate will sometimes bring a whole gaggle of spark buddies on her runs with her.
And then it came to me. If I'm struggling while away, I just have to think WWMSBD? aka what would my spark buddies do?
Here's what I think some of you would tell me, in no particular order:
KARBIE18 would tell me to just be really present in the moment (which could be a blog for tomorrow, if I get a chance, talking about my accident).
DDHEART would tell me just go for that run, have fun, and I know how awesome I'll feel afterwards.
KEAKMAN would remind me what an awesome, inspiring person I am.
GEODAWG would remind me that laughing burns calories, too.
DAYHIKER would remind me I already know what to do, so just do it!
TEMPEST272002 would remind me that you have to live each moment to the fullest, cause you never know when God is going to throw a huge detour into the road (her husband is doing much better -- thanks everyone for their prayers).
SKINNYPOWELL1 would tell me I'm rockin' those swimsuits so step away from the sugar!
THERUNAWAYBRIDE would give me some of her boundless energy (actually, I really do believe her spark name ought to be energizer buddy).
DEIRDREJ1TX would remind that it may feel hard while I'm doing it, but I'll feel so good when I'm done, so just do it already.
SHEILA1505 would remind me how much better I feel when I'm eating whole foods -- and a whole lot less sugar.
And if I missed you, it definitely wasn't on purpose. This blog could be miles long!
So I'm taking you all on vacation with me. No, I'm not Oprah, tho I wish I had just a smidgen of her money so that I really could take you all with me. How awesome would that be? Spark girl night's out -- in paradise!
But I'm taking you all with me in my head. I decided it was time to peak at my weight. No, I don't get to move my ticker -- but it is actually accurate again. 4 lbs in 3 weeks, which is awesome for me. And it's just amazing how much better I feel with those 4 lbs off. You can see everyone of those pounds on my face. I have to hold onto that feeling.
I'm not actually nearly as stressed about it all as I sound, this is just where I get it all out. Sure, there's a little stress -- I really don't want to go back up. I want to move forward.
Right now I am thanking my lucky stars that I don't drink anymore. Cause I know good intentions have a way of flying out the window when you drink.
So, when you feel yourself floundering, just ask yourself:
Thursday, November 04, 2010
Yesterday's blog got some people thinking, which is always a good thing.
I got a lot of responses along the lines of "you can have everything in moderation." It's something I've often said myself. And I still do believe that.
However, come talk to me again when you've been very close to your GW -- and then stuck on a plateau for a year. And not because you're stuffing your face or slacking on exercise. And I think I've heard pretty much all the plateau-busting advice as well. And tried the vast majority of it.
So you may get to a point where you're willing to give up a little more than you thought you would -- at least temporarily. And it's funny how sometimes temporary can become at least semi-permanent. Which was sort of the point of my ramble yesterday, at least partially, but of course even I didn't know that.
So here I am, about to leave on a vacation in a few days, having worked really, really hard and seen progress. Often I've worked so hard and seen no progress, so I am very happy that my hard work has paid off.
Which leaves me with a bit of a dilemma, even tho it's actually a good dilemma.
How do I eat while away? What sort of choices do I make?
I said to one SP buddy that I almost hate to take this body that's looking pretty good on vacation where surely it will get bloated from what I'm eating, no matter how careful I am. I've worked so hard!
This is where goals come in. What do I want out of this vacation? Ah, there's the rub; I'm not sure. Is it ok to gain a couple of pounds? Do I strive to maintain? Do I continue to avoid sugar as much as possible? Will that even be possible?
The first few days will be eating from DH's conference -- we've paid so that I can go to breakfast & dinners with him (we're on our own for lunches -- oddly enough, he will have a break in the middle of the day). Conference food can be very good (sometimes too good) or very bad.
I don't think I'll be finding a whole lot of brown rice (altho I'm sure white rice wouldn't be hard to come by). Fresh fruits should be abundant. I'll bring some cereal/granola with me.
I have been avoiding dairy for the last 3 weeks too. No cheese. I love cheese. Still, cheese doesn't figure in that much to Hawaiian cuisine, so I may be safe there.
I plan to leave my pedometer at home, but I will run, swim, and do yoga. And maybe some weights -- I have a nice short routine on my Ipod. I hope that we get to do some hiking.
It has been a long time since I've had a truly relaxing vacation. In fact, I think the last time was the last time we were in Hawaii, which was 5 years ago. Not that I'm really complaining, as I've had some pretty awesome vacations between then & now. Just that I love a vacation where I can swim and relax at a pool, and it's been way too long since I've done that.
And yes, this is all veeeeeeeeeery narcissistic. Yes, I get this way before vacations.
The bottom line is that I intend to enjoy myself, but not to throw all my hard work away. Accept that I won't be perfect, and most likely will see a gain when I get back.
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Did anyone see the Oprah with Portia de Rossi? It really got me thinking. She discussed her anorexia and bulimia. She talked about how it was a very slippery slope into madness, basically, that started out with just the wish to be professional (fit into her clothes for her work).
Thankfully, I have never had an eating disorder, only disordered eating. I'd like to say I have the disordered eating under control, but that wouldn't be the truth. Some days it would be true; other days it absolutely wouldn't be.
My husband will tell you I have control issues (is that ever the pot calling the kettle black!). I don't deny that there is some truth to it. As some of you know, I did something called the Ultrasimple Diet (you can google it if you're interested), and have mostly been following the plan 3 weeks later with some minor additions.
You eat real food, and plenty of it, and the biggest thing for me was restricting sugar -- almost getting rid of it altogether. That was an eye opener. I lost a lot of weight the week I followed it almost to a T, gained a small amount the next (but not because I suddenly started binging on sugar) -- haven't WI this week yet, but no matter what the scale says, I'm still really feeling good about where my body is at.
There have been a few cravings -- but not much and not very intense. I have been hungrier than normal the last few days, which is normal for me at this point in my cycle, but yesterday I was ready to almost gnaw my own arm off.
The sort of hunger where I start eating out of packages standing up in the kitchen. Which is something I try very hard not to do. Which got me thinking about Portia and her story again.
There's a fine line between disordered eating and an eating disorder. She said part of her recovery was realizing she could have anything she wanted, and that got rid of some of the power food had over her.
And of course my first thought was yeah, right, you are a naturally thin woman with obviously a good metabolism. If I eat whatever I want, in the portions I want, even if 80% of it is healthy, I gain weight.
I'd like to not think about food so much. I'd like to not weigh and measure my food so often. I'd like to be more like my husband, who just eats what he wants (but is overweight, tired all the time, and has little energy -- um, maybe I don't really want that after all).
A spark buddy recently blogged about how life is too short to live it without birthday cake. Sometimes I agree with that -- I am still having some desserts, but not with sugar (made chocolate mousse out of avocado, coconut oil, cacao, and date paste, for instance) -- but sometimes I am willing to pass it by, too.
Because I am calmer with less sugar, I have discovered. I never thought about it -- we know how it effects kids, but yeah, it effects us, too. And that's a nice way to be.
But where does just not having a slice of cake or white rice stop being just about being healthy and become an obsession?
I'm not really sure where I'm going with all this. It's still gelling in my mind.
So for now, I'll leave you with some photos.
My rockstar leggings. Not a real good photo, best I could do, sorry. I want more tho! They're sooooo comfortable, even if they're probably not really the best look for me.
My before & after swimsuit photos. The before is on the left (and darker).
Can't see a whole lot of difference here (not that I expecting much, it was only a 6 week challenge), and of course I didn't have the same pose either:
I do see some small differences in this one. I don't look quite so pregnant (altho facing the other way I still did), and my butt doesn't stick out quite so much, but I think I was also just standing taller.
I think I see a bit less flab in this one, too, but it's hard to tell.
Have you got any thoughts on disordered eating vs eating disorders? About when it's okay to restrict what we eat, and when it becomes a control issue? Struggled with this one yourself?
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
I had other plans for the blog today, but I guess they'll have to wait. How's that for a tease?
Anyway, this month is going to be very challenging for me. First, 10 days in paradise. I know, I know, poor, poor me -- but it IS a challenge.
Then Thanksgiving is a week after we get back. Still not sure what we're doing. If my mom or sister does it, I'll probably go. If it's my cousin, who's about 3 hours away, I'll try to talk my folks into a family dinner that weekend. DH has been traveling a lot, we'd have to board the dogs cause they can't stay home all day long, it would just be pain all around -- even tho I'd love to see my cousin. No matter what, it's a challenge, but it's only 1 day (or maybe 2 if we do the family dinner later).
Then a week after that we go to visit the inlaws. I swear my MIL wouldn't know a vegetable if it bit her -- that's not quite fair, but it seems that way. She's not a great cook, either. Last year I had to persuade her not to dress the entire salad so that one could choose to dress it themselves. She actually did agree, I must say.
And it's a very stressful visit all around: my FIL has Alzheimers, but it's not the kind where he just sits all day. No, he's anxious, he hovers over you while you prepare food -- his one great joy still -- and he constantly wants to be in motion. Constantly. It's exhausting.
We sleep at my SIL's, on a futon on the floor -- it's very uncomfortable. I always feel bad about our futon for guests, but at least it's on a bed!
So I'm thinking about the upcoming challenges and know I have to come up with a plan.
And I'm at the grocery store yesterday, watching the elderly couple behind me put box after box of lean cuisine on the conveyor. And I realized that part of my plan has to be to limit the amount of food that comes out of a box.
Normally I eat very little processed food, but it's harder when you're traveling for basically half the month and you don't have a whole lot of control over your food choices.
I am still working on my plan -- need to hurry up considering we leave in just a few days -- but part of it will be to try not to eat out of boxes as much as possible.
How many boxes do you eat out of?
Monday, November 01, 2010
I think we all probably know this, but good things bear repeating!
I bought myself a waterproof MP3 player -- it's actually just ok. Rather tinny, works great as long as you don't actually put your head in the water -- then it's in & out.
Still, I tried it out last Thursday night. Thursday nights are just a relaxing breaststroke swim for me, since it's at the end of my day and I'm winding down. Worked great for that (altho the sound is still rather tinny).
I found myself just wanting to swim thru the next song. Imagine my surprise when I glanced down at my watch and saw 30 minutes had flown by. And I swam another 10 minutes.
Today I took it on my morning swim, where I push myself a bit more and do some crawl, too. I've found I actually enjoy the way crawl makes my body feel. The sound cut out at times during the crawl, which was annoying, but I still found myself swimming longer without watching the clock.
I ran both my first 5ks with no tunes. I think I'll most likely try the next one with some and see what happens. Course, I have a tendency to burst out singing -- probably not so much while running, but it definitely happens while I'm raking. At least I have a good voice!
Years ago, btw, I bought a waterproof MP3 player from swimman.com . It was awesome, even if it held less than 1 GB. However, it's about 10 years old and the earphones are now mono instead of stereo.
Now they make a waterproof Ipod, but it's very expensive. I think about it as a reward for eaching my GW, but then I'd have 2 Ipods, which really seems like overkill . . . but then I'd also have a backup, right? Not really much worrying about it all right now.
Finally, I want to pass on the challenge my SP buddy KEAKMAN gave out yesterday: what 5 accomplishments are you most proud of? Not having kids, not being married, but things you've accomplished. I listed mine on her blog, www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=3751520 , but I've thought of a few more since then (and it wasn't easy to come up with those first 5; I don't really feel like that accomplished a person):
1. Sticking with my flute, even when I was awful, and keeping at it til I was very good.
2. Playing that flute in our school play, Man of La Mancha -- I had a solo, way out of my comfort zone!
3. Being bat mitzvah'd (unlike today, girls didn't get to actually read from the Torah back then, but it still required a big commitment)
4. Singing in our temple junior choir til I went to college -- and earning the menorah I use to this day for that!
5. Going back to WW after about 10 years, significantly over my GW, and sticking thru it thru thick & thin (ha! ha! bad puns return!) and looooooong plateaus, cause I know it works for me)
6. Asking for raise at work many years ago -- and getting it
7. More than once parlaying one job offer against another to get what I wanted when it wasn't forthcoming
So what are yours? I must say, doing this exercise is actually very empowering. It makes me realize that I'm so much stronger than I often think I am. What are your proudest accomplishments?
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