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Bearing it all (almost)

Friday, September 03, 2010

Maybe these pictures will be the kick in the butt I need to really buckle down. Or maybe not. So I ordered some new swimsuits in anticipation of our hoped-for trip to Hawaii, cause the few I have are really too big (but still actually fit thanks to the beauty of spandex).

I know, I know, y'all will probably tell me all sorts of kind things. I'm not sucking up for them, I'm sure I'll appreciate them, but the truth is I want to see some improvement.

Now you know why most of the photos you see are me in dresses with high heeled shoes. Because the dresses do a good job of hiding the parts I'm still not real happy with, and the shoes elongate my very short legs.

I'm happy with my legs from the knee down. This swimsuit bottom was shorter than I wanted, but it was what was still available. As usual, I do think I look better in it in RL than these photos reflect, but that could be wishful thinking on my part. It will also be interesting to see if I can actually swim without this bottom floating away.

I just sent in my check for the swimming sessions at the high school . . . both morning & evening. It's $68 for twice a week for 10 weeks (altho I doubt I'll be getting there every week, especially with DH's travel schedule the next few months). But even missing a few, it's still worth it. I have the potential to go swimming twice a week! Woohoo! I could almost walk there, but I'm not going to considering it'll be dark. Not to mention getting cooler. Of course I have no idea where the pool actually is, but I'm sure I'll find it . . . eventually.

Getting back to the photos. The one thing I really do like is my strong shoulders. I do think I have great shoulders, if I do say so myself.

I am in serious need of a haircut -- again. I think I always am. Really, I don't need the haircut so much as a bangs trim but it always seems like so much work to go in just to get my bangs trimmed so I never do it (and wouldn't dream of touching them myself).

I'll leave you with a photo that still isn't great, but is much kinder all the same. No swimsuit (no body, for that fact).

Do you think you look great til you see the photos? How do you reconcile what you see in the mirror with what you see in photos?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BESSHAILE 9/5/2010 7:55AM

    I like your smoooth torso too - and flat belly.

but most of all I like your twice a week swimming schedule.

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SERENITY4LIFE 9/4/2010 2:50PM

    Have fun swimming! I haven't been in a bathing suit in 20 years, but I've committed to triathlon training in January so it will be time to face my 'demons'. You look great, but of course, what we see ourselves is what matters.

As for your questions at the end...I usually think and did think in the past that I usually looked o.k. Of course, when I see photos, the reality is sometimes surprising and not in a good way. This was definitely true in the past when I was much heavier and I thought I carried it (my weight) well. Well photos certainly showed just how delusional I was!!

Be kind to yourself and enjoy your time in the pool!


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DDHEART 9/3/2010 7:25PM

    Darlin, you know how I am about photos.......there is something that struck me the other day....in the photos from the ghost running recently, I was not standing there in my awkward stance and I could see the joy of what I was doing...it changed the impact of the photo....of course wearing running gear also shows the stuff I like about myself these days...muscles....so here's my comment and it isn't just a compliment....you look better in this suit in real life because you never just stand there "before photo" style...you are too vibrant to do that in real life....so you are using the photos to motivate and you're smart/emotionally healthy enough to look at the photos with an eye towards seeing the good parts...now you can get to the work of making the most of the other parts....can't change the length of your legs at this stage of the game...LOL so do the best you can to change the things you can. BTW...the suit is cute and I know you will have a wonderful time!

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HEALTH4LYFE 9/3/2010 4:23PM

    Although you said you didn't want to hear it, you look "marvelous" in the words of Billy Crystal.
Maybe you will see some improvements if you compare the photos to some of you taken before you started your spark journey. Of course, if you are like me, you wouldn't have let anyone take your photo at that time in a swimsuit, if you wore one emoticon

But now, emoticon looks fine. You've come far and with your plan to increase and change up your routine, you will get to where you want! emoticon

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TEMPEST272002 9/3/2010 10:22AM

I think you're looking smoking in you new bathing suit. Not only do you have great shoulders, but also a slender torso with an hourglass shape, lovely collar bones and shapely calves!

I feel the same as you... I think I look much better in the mirror than I do in photos! How is that? Hmmm? Anyhow... how do I reconcile it? I haven't figured that out yet! Let you know when I do!


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MARIE625 9/3/2010 9:59AM

    Wow. I could have written this, except for the part about the shoulders. My shoulders aren't all that great. Yours are though!

Glad to know someone else has a problem with photos. I always think I'm looking pretty good then I see a photo of myself and I'm shocked and mortified by what I see. As for cutting your own bangs.... I used to always hack on mine until my hair dresser told me a funny store about some lady that had tried to do her own and kept trimming and trimming and ended up with a a 1/2 inch strip of hair all the way back to the crown of her head. Yikes! I can SO see myself doing that so no more self-cuts for me!

You look great in the suit - wear it proudly!

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KEAKMAN 9/3/2010 9:45AM

    Judy, we DID write the same blog!

I think your shoulders look gorgeous. And you picked the perfect suit to show them to their best advantage!

I like your twice a week swimming idea - add that to your running and your I-forget-what-it's-called DVD workouts, and you should see some serious results soon!

We can do it girl!

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Gotta walk the walk, not just talk the talk

Thursday, September 02, 2010

I got to thinking again about the way my Dad eats. I always thought a lot of my eating problems came from my mom, but obviously that instant gratification thing comes from his side, too.

There's always been lots of comments on how I look, but not much directed at how they look/feel. I suppose it's a case of the pot calling the kettle black.

I can sit here and wallow in some pity and woe is me and it's not my fault. Or I can -- and I do -- do something about it. While it's good to know just what went into making you who you are, it doesn't matter a rat's a$$ if you don't do something about it!

I was thinking about my spark buddy who's going to try visualizing herself eating at a smaller size. I try to do this, but I have to admit, I'm always at something of a loss. And maybe that's part of the reason I'm stuck.

I don't want to give up my treats -- heck, everyone says you don't have to give up your treats -- but I do want to give up the roll around my middle. Common sense says I do have to give up something.

What will my healthy lifestyle look like at my goal weight? What will I be eating? These are things I need to ponder and visualize and make happen.

What does your healthy lifestyle look like at your goal weight?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IFDEEVARUNS2 9/2/2010 10:42AM

    I'm with TEMPEST! I'll live with the extra layer of fat and enjoy my treats. I'm not giving up wine, stinky cheese, and dark chocolate.

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KEAKMAN 9/2/2010 10:26AM

    Interesting blog - I can so easily imagine thin and healthy me. All the things I eat and do and how I behave. It's the getting from here and now to the future....but your title tells the whole story - I have to do more than imagine and talk about it. I have to DO it. And that's the hard part. Obviously.

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TEMPEST272002 9/2/2010 9:55AM

    Interesting insight about the behaviour you've learned from your dad. It's important to acknowledge the source of our behaviour issues... and then to take ownership & control over them. You're doing all of that! Good for you!

As for the treat issue... I think I'd rather an extra 5 lbs on the middle & still get occassional treats than being at goal weight, but never getting treats. But which would YOU prefer? I like the quote "Discipline is knowing what you want." This reminds me that I have to sacrifice lesser wants to achieve greater wants... and helps me to not feel deprived.

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KRICKET57 9/2/2010 9:26AM

    You don't have to give up your treats, just take them in smaller portions, less often. Use smaller serving plates and use smaller utensils. It will take you as long to eat less food.

I have recently reached my goal weight and my healthy lifestyle suits me fine. I find my eating habits have changed at bit, I have added more fruits and veggies and have less processed foods, but mostly I have found I am more active. This may take more time out of my day, but I am enjoying it.

The healthy lifestyle you choose has to be the balance between where you are and how you want to live. Finding that balance is part of this journey. Reaching your goals may take a bit longer as you find that balance but it is well worth the effort.


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Eat when you're hungry; stop when you're full

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

It seems so simple, doesn't it? It's what naturally thin people do. They don't even think about it, they just naturally do it, which is part of why they're naturally thin people.

It's part of what I've been working on lately. Paying more attention to my body than the scale. Only somedays I still fall into old habits, and it isn't pretty.

Like yesterday. The day started out well enough. A healthy breakfast, snack, and lunch. Not quite enough liquids tho -- didn't want to drink a couple of glasses of water right before food shopping. That turned out ultimately be a mistake.

Because when I got home, even after my satisfying healthy lunch, I started in on the crackers. A cracker here, 4 there, 4 more here . . . well, the box isn't empty, thankfully, but these can really add up. Oh, and there might have been a blondie in there, in 3 or 4 little nibbles.

I have been supremely unmotivated the last couple of days. Not sure why. Usually I have no trouble finding things to occupy my time, but lately I just haven't wanted to do the things I normally do. I'm not really tired . . . just unmotivated. With everything.

In the end, I decided that I wanted ice cream for dinner. Yup, you heard me. I read about plenty of people who do that . . . occasionally. I never do, because that smacks of my college days, when I'd go & buy a box of Poptarts and eat them in one sitting.

But I made a conscious decision, and I did it (ok, so it was actually frozen yogurt). Did it hit the spot? I'm not sure. It did seem to stem the tidal wave of noshing and so far today I'm still on track -- altho I did just put those crackers up in a cabinet that's hard for me to reach and I sent the blondies into work with DH.

Was it as satisfying as a "real" meal? No, ultimately, it wasn't. And it gave me a bit of a headache, no doubt due to the sugar in there with no veggies or protein or healthy fats to offset it. OTOH, I think it got something out of my system. Or so I hope!

And I am sharing this story with you because I know some of my spark buddies who struggle think that people that they see as successful never struggle, or never eat unhealthy food. I mean, I know they don't really think that, but sometimes I think they feel that they're failing in comparison.

We are all of us works in progress, no matter where we are on our journey. Have you ever had dessert for dinner? And nothing else? Did it satisfy you, or did it lead to more unhealthy eating?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEODAWG 9/1/2010 4:17PM

    Struggle? Struggle? I am eating Lay's Original potato chips as I type this. I also have eaten M&M peanuts! And I too have felt a sincere desire to just sit. Must be in the air!

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SHEILA1505 9/1/2010 11:21AM

    Yes - I've had cereal for supper! When my brother and I were little, we had cereal after a day at the beach because we were too tired to eat anything else. That's one thing I miss now that I am gluten intolerant - oatmeal is just not going to do the trick!

I've just had a binge-session - about 1/2 pound of sweet juicy dates! Brings back the warmth and sunshine of the desert trip and fills a gap till supper time :)


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KEAKMAN 9/1/2010 9:50AM

    Thanks for sharing Judy. You know how food is a struggle for me. Your words encouraged me today!

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WORKTHEGOAL 9/1/2010 9:47AM

    Always sounds easy but really difficult to follow.

It does sound as if your unmotivation stems from boredom, which ultimately could by why you are nibbling the naughties!

Have you found a workout or exercise that you really enjoy doing? This could be the key?

September is a new month for you to enjoy, so have fun and hope you get some great results from being a good girl most of the time.

10,000 Steps a Day

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DRJJ2004 9/1/2010 9:23AM

    I've tried that too. I'm always hungry later, probably cuz it wasn't nourishing. it's just one meal. It's OK. Today will be better..cuz you'll blog about it later and tell us how well you did! :O) Hang in there my friend!!


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What season are you?

Monday, August 30, 2010

This is almost another weight loss is like analogy, but that wasn't quite right.

We are experiencing the earliest fall on record, as far as I can remember, anyway. It was beginning before we left for our vacation. Fall shouldn't start in August! The best guess everyone has is that it's because it's been so dry all summer long. Which is interesting, when you think about it, because we did experience fall in Austin, too, only it began months later, but I digress.

We can experience an early fall, too, if we don't live a healthy lifestyle. We just age prematurely when we don't take care of ourselves. You know those people who are young for theiryears, and those that are older than they really are?

I don't know about you, but I want to be a Spring. And that means I have to take care of myself. So the next time you're tempted by something you know isn't good for you, think about what season you are. Then think about what season you want to be. And make your choice. Because it's all about the choices.

What season will you choose to be?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEODAWG 9/1/2010 4:14PM

    I love summer time! Blowzy and over the top! Nearly naked in public and long, long days. Heat and all.

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DRJJ2004 9/1/2010 9:25AM

    I wanna be colorful, vibrant fall!!! Love it!! emoticon

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TEMPEST272002 8/30/2010 11:55AM

    My in-laws are a youthful 75... and they both plan to make it to "at least" 100. I think their positive attitudes & very active lifestyles make them so much younger than their age-counterparts. I can see the attraction of being spring... but I'd rather be summer... in full bloom and living life to the fullest! Eating right & exercising daily certainly makes me feel younger. 5 months ago, I was thinking "how am I going to endure another 30 years of living on the couch, feeling like crap?"... today, I feel fitter & more energetic than I can remember being in my entire adult life. I feel more like 30 than 40... and I'm thrilled about that!

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MZSLYDE01 8/30/2010 10:34AM

    I love Fall. The coolness of the night and crispness of the air but then during the day it gets nice and warm but not too hot. I wish we had fall in Iowa 6 months of the year. Darnit.

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DDHEART 8/30/2010 8:56AM

    Love this! I think I'm like 11 sprouts, I love every season and would find it very tedious to live someplace that had no apprecable change...for myself I think I want the same thing...the anticipation of things to come-Spring...the sunny warmth of coming into your own and self knowledge-Summer...the crisp cozy comfort of looking back on the best times as well as the less than best-Autumn....and the no need to waste time on the unnecessary or petty, live as you wish-Winter. Chronologically I'm Autumn-heading toward Winter but I want to be a Spring into Summer for the rest of my life!

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    I'm with you! I wanna be a fresh new spring but then again..a sunny warm summer is swell as is a crisp refreshing autumn. And what about a brand new snowy winter? AAAhhh...yup,I want to be the crisp,refreshing highlights of each season(with NO wrinkles or gray hairs!)enjoying this beautiful life and all the wonderful blessings that are poured upon me each day.

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SKINNYPOWELL1 8/30/2010 7:11AM

    emoticonI wanna be a spring chicken.

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SHEILA1505 8/30/2010 6:58AM

    A friend of mine was aghast the other day when I was what she called "all grown up" and she told me to stop it as my inner child is what keeps me younger than my years, healthy and ecstatically happy - as well as my choices

I don't think I am any one particular season - just the vibrant parts of each one


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NANA2PRINCESSES 8/30/2010 6:08AM

    I enjoyed your blog. Had never thought of Seasons as they relate to a healthy life-style journey. We are fortunate to have the gift of choice.

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_SPARK526 8/30/2010 5:55AM

  I'm with you--I want to be an eternal spring!

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Changing the opinion on small dogs, one person at a time!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Which almost has nothing to do with this post. But most people who come over are surprised by how "mellow" and obedient our dogs are. I can't tell you the number of people I've met who think chihuahuas (or any small dog) are yappy, nippy things. We used to think so, too. We've come to learn that with anything animal, it's mostly about how they're raised.

Now, small dogs are definitely more hyper than large ones. Well, most of them. I mean, I hear about those small dogs that love to sleep in. Wish I had one. Lola might actually do it, but Chester might burst if he doesn't get out by 7 am (unless there's a blizzard or it's raining).

So last night's dinner went great. It was a carnivore-vegetarian-vegan feast. Weird, huh? It's so satisfying to cook vegan food for someone who's actually appreciative of it.

I made vegan stuffed mushrooms (that even DH loved), vegan onion dip, and set out a variety of goat cheeses (not chevre, but goat brie -- very good -- and a goat parmesan-like cheese) & crackers.

The main course was steak, shrimp, salad, and the remains of the vegetarian potato leek gratin I'd made earlier in the week (that DH liked) that still tasted pretty good despite spending way too long in the oven as we chatted.

And dessert was vegan peanut butter blondies (just ok), chocolate dipped strawberries (which are also vegan since I use dairy free chocolate chips), and a mostly vegan fudge pecan pie (I bought the crust and I imagine there's butter in there). Of course you can't be mostly vegan, you either or you aren't, so ok, it was a vegetarian pie. I could have easily made it vegan by making the crust myself, but I just didn't feel like it and the wife of our guests is more like me -- eats fish, eats vegan a lot, and mostly eats vegetarian (but doesn't eat meat at all unlike me).

It was absolutely perfect weather for an outdoor dinner. Finally! Not too hot! Not to cold!

I indulged in a bit of everything. I tracked my food. I got in plenty of exercise yesterday. And today I plan to eat a bit healthier -- altho it is a rest day from exercise for me and I plan to honor that. Don't know what I'm doing yet today. It's gorgeous and I'd love to go to a park, but don't really want to go by myself, and DH probably wants to get yardwork done.

Oh, and we solved the mystery of the white stuff that floats around here in spring & fall -- cottonwood trees. Unfortunately the husband of the pair turned out to be allergic to them, which is how we found out what they were.

And, as my friend feed states, DH brought me a mailer with senior classes at a high school very close to us. You can swim in their pool in the evenings or early mornings for about $30 for 10 weeks (once a week). The times aren't great for me, but hey, it's close, it's cheap, and I wanted to start swimming again! Trying to decide whether or not to sign up for both morning & evening -- it's actually cheap enough to do that!

Morning would be tough because DH would probably have to go into work a little later to accommodate me. Still, I'm so amazed by how life works sometimes. Sometimes you really can manifest what you want!

Altho what I really want is a lap pool in my backyard that's indoors with lots of windows. We actually looked at a house here that had one! The house itself was a total nightmare, but boy, I would have just adored that pool. Of course, what I really want is an indoor lap pool with lots of windows and a pool man. Preferably a cute pool man!

When I lived in VT, I belonged to a somewhat swanky gym (had less animals then and I worked full time outside the home). It had a lovely pool with a basically a wall of floor to ceiling glass windows along one wall. It was so peaceful to swim there, even when the snow was high outside.

I feel I've been doing well lately (altho not sure what next week's WI will show), despite eating out A LOT -- much more than usual -- and entertaining. I've been trying not to stress out about my food choices, but to bring balance to them -- indulge one day, eat better the next, and not feel guilty about it all. Because it's a healthy lifestyle, after all, not a diet!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 8/30/2010 4:09PM

    I have tried to persuade Hubby for YEARS that we need a pool! Just gonna have to take the plunge...
Also slowly easing into lacto-ovo-vegetarianism, working out the kinks in my diet.

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TEMPEST272002 8/29/2010 5:31PM

    That's great about the pool. I've been really enjoying swimming at the nearby lake. It's a whole body workout - but soothing too somehow. I always feel peaceful when I swim.

I like to hear that you are learning to find balance & peace in your eating/exercising lifestyle. Sounds like you have truly integrated these changes into your life - including when you entertain. The vegan dishes sounded delicious!

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