Imagine, believe, receive

Thursday, July 22, 2010

That's what's inscribed on the small silver ring I bought at Target today. They have a variety of rings (online, too, apparently) and bracelets and necklaces inscribed with different words and sayings. This one spoke to me.

Actually, several others spoke to me too (but I resisted) as well as a pair of earrings and a bracelet (which I didn't resist).

I wish the inscription were on the outside so I could read it more often. Because it's so powerful & so true.

Folks, never let yourselves become too hungry. Too hungry is always trouble. No matter how much I tell myself that it will pass like everything passes -- I fast once a year for 24 hours (ok, ok, usually it's more like 20) after all.

Last night DH got home about 2 hours late. He tells me he told me he had a late meeting, but apparently I forgot about it. I was starving. It wasn't the sort of meal I could easily make for myself and then just reheat for him.

I ate the better part of a box of cherry tomatoes and at least one serving of kashi crackers (maybe more). After last Thursday night's sugar dive, I did say I'd be happy to maintain, and I actually lost a tiny bit of weight. I should be happy. I'm not. I ate so well 80% of the time, but let emotions and going too long without food derail me about 20% of the time. It doesn't take much extra food to derail my weight loss efforts.

Well, it's a new week, hopefully with better sleep, less emotions, and less food deprivation. TOM is coming, but I know if I'm focused (and hoping to use my new ring to focus) I can beat TOM. I can do it. I have done it. I will do it.

Lately, tho, I have been flat out exhausted. I've been laying down on the bed in the afternoons (which the dogs adore), something I almost never do. I even cut running out this week because I thought maybe I was overexercising. I haven't been doing much of anything around the house.

The only thing I'm doing differently is taking the dogs out for a walk earlier in the morning. I can't really see how that would effect my energy levels. I thought maybe I was coming down with something, but so far, knock on wood, that doesn't seem to be the case (which makes me very happy).

Well, once again, I'm sure this too shall pass. Next week is my "easy" week between months 1 & 2 of Insanity. The same workout for 6 days straight. Do I add running back in? I haven't decided yet. Yes, I do sort of miss it. Except for the waking up so tired. I'm eager to try the Treadmill Trainer podcasts I downloaded.

Today I ended up going a bit too long between meals again. It wasn't technically, it was only 3 hours, but I was really, really hungry by the time I got home from my meeting & running errands.

Sorry not a real inspirational blog, but lately I've been too tired to do much inspiring. So just remember: imagine, believe, receive. And maybe stay away from Target! (In my defense, I was there to get toilet paper and moisturizer).

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KEAKMAN 7/22/2010 9:48PM

Sounds like you NEED a run tomorrow. Even a short one might help cheer and perk you up. If you miss it, you need to do it. Kinda like hunger. It's never good to say no to good things (within reason!) Report Inappropriate Comment

MTER67 7/22/2010 9:33PM

Gosh, I am so out of touch with your blogs! And not just yours--everybody's! I just wanted to pipe in and say that I, too, love that jewelry at Target with the inspirational words. I have to walk fast past the display because I am a weak person when it comes to jewelry! Im in my week before TOM and I am irritable and don't really want to do anything. I am not tired, so much as lazy. The only thing I can do to combat it is to ignore it. And get outside and work out because I know I will feel more energized afterward. Of course, having said that, make sure you are not overtraining, or hungry, or low on iron. It's so hot outside these days, too, it is hard to run and walk the dogs, etc., and NOT feel a little drained afterward. (Glad to see you are still blogging so faithfully!) :-) Report Inappropriate Comment

TEMPEST272002 7/22/2010 5:34PM

Words have power. I love the idea of the bracelet to remind yourself to imagine, believe, recieve. Could your tiredness have anything to do with "letting go" after keeping check on your emotions & tongue during your parents' visit? Maybe you just need to give yourself some extra TLC for a few days? BTW, sharing your struggles is inspirational blogging. Report Inappropriate Comment

GEODAWG 7/22/2010 4:40PM

Oh how I love Target! I could go in for a box of detergent and come out with a new living room! I think you showed remarkable restraint. Don't know if this will help, but back when I had TOM (you won't believe how long it took me to figure out what that meant! ha Ha Ha) I was always hungry for a couple of days then when he came on, I was dead tired and had no appetite. Thank God I no longer have that dreadful visit! Old may have its minuses but not having TOM is a wonderful plus. Report Inappropriate Comment

BETH7CAM 7/22/2010 4:10PM

Your blog title was inspirational! It spoke to me. The ring sounds cool...way to go reminding yourself of your goals Report Inappropriate Comment

I don't care & more sharing

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

As usual, I'm going to ramble a bit today.

How often have you thought "I really don't care about why I'm overweight, I just want to get it off"?

The key words in that sentence is "I really don't care". Because what you're really saying is that you really don't care about yourself. If you don't know why you want to lose weight, how can you hope to keep motivated? If you don't care enough to set yourself some goals, how will you stay motivated?

That's right, you're motivated when you care about yourself. Motivation doesn't mean it's easy. Motivation just means that you care enough about yourself to take the time to dig a little deeper, to figure out what makes you tick, to set some goals, to pick out some rewards.

If you don't care, why should anyone else? Don't whine about how nobody loves you if you can't be bothered to love yourself. Yes, it isn't easy. Yes, it takes hard work. But you'll be amazed at how your life seems to click into place when you find the motivation within.

So Yuri's video yesterday really spoke to me (check out yesterday's blog for the link). And again today. And you know what? He has free podcasts up on Itunes. Search on "Treadmill Trainer" (and he's got some others, too).

And I also wanted to share again the Inside Out Weight Loss podcasts. Love them!

And finally, as they say in the blog world, yesterday's dinner was holy yum. I made veggie stacks. Essentially thin slices of tomatoes & zucchini (you can use whatever veggies you enjoy most) layered with raw cashew cheese (google raw nut cheese and I'm sure you'll come up with lots of recipes). Also some rawvioli -- slices of zucchini brushed with olive oil and a little sea salt sandwiched with a cashew cheese filling.

Then the raw ice cream sandwiches from www.juliemorris.net for dessert. I ended up adding in some kashi crackers because I was missing me some grains, but the whole dinner was so totally satisfying. Thank you, DH, for having a business dinner so I could feed me soul (he would have hated it).

Oh, and this morning I decided to try making myself a tea latte. I brewed up some double chocolate matte tea (used 2 teabags). Set that in the fridge. Will add 1 cup of soymilk, and little soyatoo "whipped cream" with a drizzle of chocolate agave nectar. I'll let you know now it is. I don't drink those coffee/tea drinks, but just decided to give this a try this morning. The whole thing is about a whopping 2 points. And will give me some fuel for my workout. And some "recovery" from my walk.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KEAKMAN 7/21/2010 11:24PM

hmmm, what is the cyber connection between us? My blog today was about goals, and then I read this! Report Inappropriate Comment

TEMPEST272002 7/21/2010 11:21PM

I get what you're saying about the connection between motivation and caring for oneself. When you care about yourself, you want to take care of yourself also. Great blog! Report Inappropriate Comment

DDHEART 7/21/2010 9:13PM

Bingo! We have to care enough about ourselves to make goals and work toward them....often loving ourselves and making ourselves the big priority is the hardest task however. Loved your ramble! Report Inappropriate Comment

GEODAWG 7/21/2010 8:50PM

What is soyatoo? Is this a whipped cream I can actually eat and eat and not feel guilty about? Raw cashew cheese sounds good. I will have to give this a try. Report Inappropriate Comment

LEONALIONESS 7/21/2010 6:03PM

Sooooo... Imma gonna have to come crash at your place and have you feed me. I'm currently adoptable!!! ;) Report Inappropriate Comment

HEYRED221 7/21/2010 3:12PM

Sounds interesting . So are you doing mostly a raw food program? Report Inappropriate Comment

KITTYF54 7/21/2010 9:00AM

Sounds like you had fun. Report Inappropriate Comment

Sharing some recent finds

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

One of the nice things about DH being gone is I can be on the computer when I want & for how long I want. Except when my folks were here, of course, because then my Dad hogs it for hours at a time. And shuts down the browser even when I tell him not to. See, I can't stop whining!

But I've made some recent finds I wanted to share with y'all.

www.vibrantvegan.com/
Even if you're not vegan, I think there's some good stuff here. Especially the 30 day core challenge. I'll be hitting that up when I'm done with Insanity -- my core can always use some work!

And low fat raw vegan recipes -- so often raw recipes are so high in fat. I haven't tried anything yet, but I will be trying some.

www.juliemorris.net
The raw brownies are AWESOME. You must try these. I've made raw brownies before, but these are very simple and really, really good. And I'm using them as a pre or post-workout snack. Mainly dates & walnuts, it's perfect.

You shouldn't reward yourself with food, but I have to admit, sometimes the thought of my post-workout snack gets me thru a workout.

www.yurielkaim.com/317/how-to-set-po
werful-goals/comment-page-1/#comment-517

I got to this one from the Vibrant Vegan site. They praise his workouts, and he had free running podcasts if you signed up for his newsletter, and I did. Haven't tried the podcasts yet, since I'm not running this week, but this video really spoke to me.

My goal:

I enjoy being a fit, healthy, energized 130 lbs by Dec. 31st this year.

Because:

1. I can use the money I'm currently paying to WW either for monthly massages or perhaps to join a health club.

2. I can earn some money by working for WW.

3. I will fit comfortably in my focus jeans.

4. I will be able to run faster and with less effort (and pounding on my body).

5. My self esteem will increase due to going after and achieving my goal.

What about you? What do you really want, and why do you really want it?

And any recent finds you want to share with us?

Oh, here's another grocery store find: mini coconut milk fudge bars. Only 70 calories or 1 pt in WW parlance. Finally, a small fudge bar that doesn't have odd ingredients that I LIKE! Look for it in your organic/health food section.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STARTSPARKING 7/21/2010 7:37AM

Sorry I haven't been keeping in touch. Although it seems nearly impossible, I am trying hard to catch up. Thank you for sharing your recent finds. Good luck with all your goals. With your determination and dedication, I am sure you will do very well. Thanks for continuing to be such an amazing inspiration! Report Inappropriate Comment

GEODAWG 7/20/2010 1:26PM

Go ahead and whine! You know our parents whined about us when we were in their care, so it's payback time! Thanks for the sites to explore. Report Inappropriate Comment

SKFEREBEE 7/20/2010 12:06PM

The 30-day core challenge looks very interesting...thanks! Report Inappropriate Comment

Our bad weeks don't define us

Monday, July 19, 2010

That's what I told a spark buddy recently. Our bad weeks don't define us; our good weeks do. There WILL be bad weeks, it's just a fact of life.

Last week was definitely not one of my best. Nothing major, but just all those little things piled on top of each other really get to you after a while:

The first wasp sting. I didn't even know for sure I'd been stung -- I wasn't quite sure what was going on, only that it HURT. Nests behind your mailbox door (which you are totally unaware of) are bad business.

This preceded the epic 2010 parent visit without my husband here to act as a buffer. Not even that was all bad -- my mom & I did have some interesting talks.

Followed by the second sting. Worse reaction to this one, probably because it was on the back of my leg and got really irritated by all that exercise.

My camera stopped working for reasons unknown.

I managed to take out 2 mugs at once. I use heavy ceramic bowls for the animals, and one slipped -- chipped one of the brand new mugs I'd just bought at Marshalls (cat mugs -- so cute) and took out the handle on the only mug I ever bought while living in Austin.

Yesterday the raw lemon bars I had in the fridge did a swan dive, getting banana puree all over the refrigerator and floor. I was literally screaming in frustration. It took about half a roll of paper towels to clean the mess up, and poor Chester was quivering on the landing (despite it not being his fault and my not being mad at him -- altho of course I'd told them not to even think about touching it -- which they weren't about to because when I'm truly angry, they stay far away from me).

I feel as tho I am on the verge of coming down with something. I'm hoping not. I have been totally exhausted the last couple of days, and wasn't even hungry last night. I've decided to take a week off from running this week, while continuing with my Insanity workouts. Next week is supposed to be an easy week before starting the second month.

Still, aside from the one day dive into sugar, I've eaten well. While I hope to lose weight this week, I'd be happy to maintain. I've been totally into unbaking the last couple of days -- raw desserts. Raw really hits the spot in the summer!

I made some raw brownies that are awesome and a great post-workout snack (being mainly walnuts and dates). I made a raw strawberry cheese cake for my folks, and they actually liked it. Throw lots of fat & sugar at them and they're happy -- they can be picky about healthier fare. I didn't tell them what it was until after they'd eaten it. I made some no-bake cookies yesterday that had way too much sugar in them. I'd actually made one of them before, and cut back on the sugar because they were too sweet, but I need to try a different sweetner or cut back even more. Oddly enough, they did not at all cause me to crave more sweets. I made the infamous raw lemon bars (haven't had them yet, no idea how they taste but they're simple and ought to be good).

I did some pushups to account for the licks & tastes.

So just remember: it's not about what we've done wrong, it's about what we've done RIGHT. What are you doing right today?

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KEAKMAN 7/19/2010 8:51PM

I am sorry that your day started out so badly - I hope it ended better. And it sounds like after the stings and the folks, your body is looking for a little TLC.....listen to it! Today I had a miserable time at the acupuncturist - not her fault. But I spent 40 minutes with my RLS acting up so badly that each twitch caused charlie-horse-type pains in 4 spots on my right leg. Every 14 seconds. For 40 minutes. Needless to say I was in tears by the time she came back into the room (and reminded me that if I need her, just call, and she will hear me!) Normally I would have self-medicated all the way home - Starbucks, McDonalds, Baskin Robbins, you name it, I would have stopped in and bought something/s. But I didn't. I looked at what happened for what it was, a bad reaction probably having a lot to do with my mental state the past 10 days or so, and NOT an excuse to binge. I am proud of me for making a sensible choice and coming straight home to get some stuff done rather than stuff may face. And I much prefer to think of that heroic stand for good rather than any mess-ups from the past week! Thanks for the great blog and the reminder that we are what we think we are - and I think I am NOT a screwup! Report Inappropriate Comment

GEODAWG 7/19/2010 1:42PM

I know how you feel. I have to get motivated once again to get on the right track. I'm sure you haven't fallen far and success will once again come your way! Report Inappropriate Comment

BARBIETEC 7/19/2010 9:37AM

What a day! I hope you are feeling better! It sounds delicious what you made the raw lemon bars (I would like a recipe) and the cheese cake *yammi* Take care! Report Inappropriate Comment

SHEILA1505 7/19/2010 9:36AM

Hi there - I was thinking exactly the same thing at gym today - when I found some moves a bit difficult I thought back to the first months when I braved a class or two and couldn't do so many of the exercises - my tummy got in the way, my girls got in the way or I was just too darned unflexible! So it doesn't matter what I can't do - what matters is that I can do so much more than the younger version of me could do and although I am conscious of my midriff not being as flat as I would like it to be, I got lots of compliments from other gym ladies today! Yay, me! I must be doing something right after all. Sorry about the breakages and spillages - glad Chester stayed out of the way :) I take it that he is out of the woods IRO the poison adventures? Hugs Report Inappropriate Comment

So what is a healthy lifestyle?

Friday, July 16, 2010

My mom doesn't get it. Despite my having been a WW member for 20 years, she's never gotten it. And boy, she made me angry right before she left.

Anyway, she walks around telling people (including my Dad) how "good" I'm being. Judy's being very good, she says. She doesn't get that there's no good or bad, there are only choices. Some choices are good, some choices are bad, sure. But a healthy lifestyle isn't about being "good", it's about making good choices most -- but not all -- of the time. Which leads me to point #2.

My mom often asks "you eat that on your diet?". Yes, you see, she has a diet mentality. Either you're dieting or you've blown it. She doesn't get that indulging in your favorite foods, in a mindful way, keeps you from overindulging in them without really tasting them.

Yesterday she told me how good I looked in my jeans as I left for my WI, and wished me "luck". I didn't feel as tho I'd lost weight, which I'd told her, but I can't always tell. When I came back, she asks if I'd lost weight. I said no. She said you didn't gain weight did you (insert horror here)? When I replied I had, she said "that's not good".

Sigh. She doesn't get it. I know she doesn't get it. At her age, she'll never get it. So she complimented me and pushed all my buttons within about 2 hours.

And yes, it brought back all those "you're not good enough" feelings. The message has always been you're not good enough if you're not thin. Congratulations if you've lost weight, disapproving silence if you've gained.

And yes, I soothed myself with some sugar last night. I'm not proud of it. I tried so hard not to do it, but in the end, I caved. I was hungry yesterday afternoon, and realized I hadn't drunk enough water yet. So I put dinner in the oven early, since DH isn't here, and drank 3 glasses of water. Ate my nice healthy dinner. And decided that yes, I really did want to finish off that pint of chocolate peanut butter coconut milk -- there was only one serving left. I could work it in. And that would have been fine if I'd stopped there.

But no, I had to have some of the chocolate peanut butter caramel bars my SIL brought over a month ago. They'd melted at some point, and they weren't even all that good anymore. Even after I ate 2 (maybe the size of half a Snickers bar) I still wanted more. But I threw out the other box -- they really weren't worth it (the coconut milk so was worth it).

They do say awareness is the first step. It's pretty rare that I eat emotionally these days, but I guess we all have those days.

I have a whole week til my next WI. Can I overcome the feelings, remain on tract, indulge sensibly, and actually lose some weight this week? Stay tuned.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BARBIETEC 7/17/2010 4:57PM

I am glad that you threw out the candy! and good that you enjoyed the milk :) It would be a shame if you haven't done that heheh :) I have always said that you have to avoid people that doesn't show you support, but wow that can be difficult, especially when they are so close to you :( You are getting it and that is what is important. Enjoy live with all the choices in the world bad and good. Wow live would be boring if we would not have choices... Report Inappropriate Comment

KEAKMAN 7/17/2010 10:57AM

All-in-all I would say you handled your folks' visit with grace, humor, and good sense. Yes, your mom doesn't get it, but you do, and that's what matters. Heave a sigh of relief and now get back to normal for you. Run. Play with the critters. Eat yummy healthy food. And a big old for throwing out the yucky candy that you didn't really need! You rock! Report Inappropriate Comment

GEODAWG 7/16/2010 9:53PM

So hard to remain on track when all the emotions of your parents are in play. Believe me I know. Bless you and you will over come! Report Inappropriate Comment

SKFEREBEE 7/16/2010 1:09PM

We all have moments of weakness. As long as it doesn't turn into weeks & months of going off track you're golden. Parents can make you feel the best...and the worst! Some people don't realize that a diet is whatever you choose to eat, good, bad or ugly, so everyone is on a diet really. You are choosing for your diet to be healthier than hers. Sometimes it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks! They're not in your house now, so it should be much easier to stay on track. And you should probably throw out anything that is really unhealthy and too tempting in those "moments" of weakness. Report Inappropriate Comment

HEYRED221 7/16/2010 12:43PM

My mom is the same way - she always keeps asking "Can you eat that?" or "You shouldn't be eating that!". I had to tell her over and over again, that on WW nothing is off limits, its all about portion control, exercise and points. I think either she finally got it OR she just stopped asking since she knew she was pissing me off. And she is a former WW herself, but the old school WW when there were many things you could not eat. She is just stuck in that way of thinking. I'm glad you have your home back to yourself. Have a wonderful, relaxing weekend!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

TEMPEST272002 7/16/2010 11:48AM

Yup, parents push our buttons. Every time I talk to my mum (which isn't often!), I feel like I'm a defiant 14 year old again. Aggravating. I'm glad the visit is over and you can go back to loving them from afar! Report Inappropriate Comment

DRJJ2004 7/16/2010 8:43AM

I'm sorry honey! If anyone knows how to push our buttons, it's our parents! YOU ARE IN CONTROL! Don't let her take that away from you. You caved..so what. Take back your control today..you've come a long way baby..don't let anyone take that away from you! Hugs my friend! Report Inappropriate Comment

BUTTERFLYEMERGE 7/16/2010 7:24AM

"Can I overcome the feelings, remain on tract, indulge sensibly, and actually lose some weight this week?" Sure you can! You have the skill set, you have the motivation. You slipped last evening because your buttons were pushed. For me, when my buttons are pushed, I've learned I need to exercise or journal NOW or I'll end up with those feelings eating at me and then I'll eat to stop the feelings. This is a learning process. The more we learn, the more we succeed. You're doing a marvelous job! I loved your blog! What strength! You are a success!!! Keep up the great work! Report Inappropriate Comment

SHEILA1505 7/16/2010 7:12AM

Glad you threw them out!! If they weren't worth it, the bin was the best place for them. It doesn't matter if she doesn't get it - you get it and that is what does matter. We are not good or naughty - we just are. And now you can settle back into your own routine without having to apologise, explain, justify or enforce ... have a good weekend now and relax. Take the dogs for a walk, breathe and give yourself some good "me time" Hugs Report Inappropriate Comment

SEKSUNSHINE 7/16/2010 6:47AM

I know you can do it. You are a very strong person, and I do believe that mothers are put on this earth to push our buttons. I know mine certainly did all the time! In our journey on this healthy lifestyle we have set backs, we have gains, but the bottom line is we don't let them derail us for long. You have been a "good" girl and the proof is in the way you feel about yourself, your determination, and the fact that you came to this site and told your support group. Keep up the magnificent job you are doing. Report Inappropriate Comment

GHOSTFLAMES 7/16/2010 6:10AM

SOMETIME WE HAVE TO BLO\CK OUT ALL THE NEGATIVES.AS LONG AS YOU CAN GET BACK ON TRACK IT'S OK. I AM ONE THAT IF I HAVE ONE THEN THAT LEADS TO TWO:( I LOST 30 POUNDS AND THOUGHT THAT WELL I JUST CAN'T DO IT I GAINED BACK ALL BUT 8 POUNDS AND NOW HAVE TO START ALL OVER ALL THAT HARD WORK DOWN THE TUBES. BUT I WILL NOT GIVE UP AND NIETHER SHOULD YOU WE ARE WORTH IT WE CAN DO ANYTHING WE SET OUR MINDS TO DO SO LET'S GO FOR IT AND KEEP THE PICTURE IN OUR MINDS OF WHAT WE WILL LOOK LIKE AT OUR GOAL WEIGHT. THERE IS A LOT OF GRAT INFORMATION HERE.MY HUBBY IS THE SAME WAY WHEN I TAKE MORE OF SOMETHING HE LOOKS AT ME LIKE HE WATS TO CHOKE ME IT IS NOT EASY I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL AND THEY JUST DO NOT GET IT BUT WE WILL DO THIS IT IS NOT A DIET BUT A LIFE STYLE CHANGE SO LOOK OUT HERE WE COME GOOD LUCK. Report Inappropriate Comment