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So what is a healthy lifestyle?

Friday, July 16, 2010

My mom doesn't get it. Despite my having been a WW member for 20 years, she's never gotten it. And boy, she made me angry right before she left.

Anyway, she walks around telling people (including my Dad) how "good" I'm being. Judy's being very good, she says. She doesn't get that there's no good or bad, there are only choices. Some choices are good, some choices are bad, sure. But a healthy lifestyle isn't about being "good", it's about making good choices most -- but not all -- of the time. Which leads me to point #2.

My mom often asks "you eat that on your diet?". Yes, you see, she has a diet mentality. Either you're dieting or you've blown it. She doesn't get that indulging in your favorite foods, in a mindful way, keeps you from overindulging in them without really tasting them.

Yesterday she told me how good I looked in my jeans as I left for my WI, and wished me "luck". I didn't feel as tho I'd lost weight, which I'd told her, but I can't always tell. When I came back, she asks if I'd lost weight. I said no. She said you didn't gain weight did you (insert horror here)? When I replied I had, she said "that's not good".

Sigh. She doesn't get it. I know she doesn't get it. At her age, she'll never get it. So she complimented me and pushed all my buttons within about 2 hours.

And yes, it brought back all those "you're not good enough" feelings. The message has always been you're not good enough if you're not thin. Congratulations if you've lost weight, disapproving silence if you've gained.

And yes, I soothed myself with some sugar last night. I'm not proud of it. I tried so hard not to do it, but in the end, I caved. I was hungry yesterday afternoon, and realized I hadn't drunk enough water yet. So I put dinner in the oven early, since DH isn't here, and drank 3 glasses of water. Ate my nice healthy dinner. And decided that yes, I really did want to finish off that pint of chocolate peanut butter coconut milk -- there was only one serving left. I could work it in. And that would have been fine if I'd stopped there.

But no, I had to have some of the chocolate peanut butter caramel bars my SIL brought over a month ago. They'd melted at some point, and they weren't even all that good anymore. Even after I ate 2 (maybe the size of half a Snickers bar) I still wanted more. But I threw out the other box -- they really weren't worth it (the coconut milk so was worth it).

They do say awareness is the first step. It's pretty rare that I eat emotionally these days, but I guess we all have those days.

I have a whole week til my next WI. Can I overcome the feelings, remain on tract, indulge sensibly, and actually lose some weight this week? Stay tuned.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BARBIETEC 7/17/2010 4:57PM

    I am glad that you threw out the candy! and good that you enjoyed the milk :) It would be a shame if you haven't done that heheh :)

I have always said that you have to avoid people that doesn't show you support, but wow that can be difficult, especially when they are so close to you :(

You are getting it and that is what is important. Enjoy live with all the choices in the world bad and good. Wow live would be boring if we would not have choices...

emoticon emoticon

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KEAKMAN 7/17/2010 10:57AM

    All-in-all I would say you handled your folks' visit with grace, humor, and good sense. Yes, your mom doesn't get it, but you do, and that's what matters. Heave a sigh of relief and now get back to normal for you. Run. Play with the critters. Eat yummy healthy food.

And a big old emoticon for throwing out the yucky candy that you didn't really need! You rock!

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GEODAWG 7/16/2010 9:53PM

    So hard to remain on track when all the emotions of your parents are in play. Believe me I know. Bless you and you will over come!

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SKFEREBEE 7/16/2010 1:09PM

    We all have moments of weakness. As long as it doesn't turn into weeks & months of going off track you're golden. Parents can make you feel the best...and the worst! Some people don't realize that a diet is whatever you choose to eat, good, bad or ugly, so everyone is on a diet really. You are choosing for your diet to be healthier than hers. Sometimes it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks! They're not in your house now, so it should be much easier to stay on track. And you should probably throw out anything that is really unhealthy and too tempting in those "moments" of weakness.

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HEYRED221 7/16/2010 12:43PM

    My mom is the same way - she always keeps asking "Can you eat that?" or "You shouldn't be eating that!". I had to tell her over and over again, that on WW nothing is off limits, its all about portion control, exercise and points. I think either she finally got it OR she just stopped asking since she knew she was pissing me off. And she is a former WW herself, but the old school WW when there were many things you could not eat. She is just stuck in that way of thinking. I'm glad you have your home back to yourself. Have a wonderful, relaxing weekend!!!

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TEMPEST272002 7/16/2010 11:48AM

    Yup, parents push our buttons. Every time I talk to my mum (which isn't often!), I feel like I'm a defiant 14 year old again. Aggravating. I'm glad the visit is over and you can go back to loving them from afar!

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DRJJ2004 7/16/2010 8:43AM

    I'm sorry honey! If anyone knows how to push our buttons, it's our parents! YOU ARE IN CONTROL! Don't let her take that away from you. You caved..so what. Take back your control today..you've come a long way baby..don't let anyone take that away from you!

Hugs my friend!

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    "Can I overcome the feelings, remain on tract, indulge sensibly, and actually lose some weight this week?" Sure you can! You have the skill set, you have the motivation. You slipped last evening because your buttons were pushed. For me, when my buttons are pushed, I've learned I need to exercise or journal NOW or I'll end up with those feelings eating at me and then I'll eat to stop the feelings.

This is a learning process. The more we learn, the more we succeed. You're doing a marvelous job! I loved your blog! What strength! You are a success!!! Keep up the great work!

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SHEILA1505 7/16/2010 7:12AM

    Glad you threw them out!! If they weren't worth it, the bin was the best place for them.

It doesn't matter if she doesn't get it - you get it and that is what does matter. We are not good or naughty - we just are. And now you can settle back into your own routine without having to apologise, explain, justify or enforce ... have a good weekend now and relax. Take the dogs for a walk, breathe and give yourself some good "me time"


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SEKSUNSHINE 7/16/2010 6:47AM

    I know you can do it. You are a very strong person, and I do believe that mothers are put on this earth to push our buttons. I know mine certainly did all the time! In our journey on this healthy lifestyle we have set backs, we have gains, but the bottom line is we don't let them derail us for long. You have been a "good" girl and the proof is in the way you feel about yourself, your determination, and the fact that you came to this site and told your support group.

Keep up the magnificent job you are doing.


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GHOSTFLAMES 7/16/2010 6:10AM


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What really motivates you?

Thursday, July 15, 2010

I swore I was done venting . . . I am so happy y'all shared with me that while you love your parents, they can drive you nuts too -- I am not the worst daugher in the world.

So here is some more whining til I get to the good stuff.

I took my parents to see a restored 1830s house on Tuesday. I really can take or leave that sort of thing, but they love it -- the reason it probably doesn't move me so much is that I was dragged around to so many as a kid. Anyway, they did really enjoy it, and the volunteer gave us a great tour even tho they don't really do tours.

But when my father saw that they had a concert there the next day, apparently my fate was sealed.

Yesterdau they went up to Saratoga Performing Arts Center (SPAC) to watch the NY ballet rehearse. While I love the ballet and rarely get to see it, I passed. I needed a bit of time to myself. I spent it making a nice veggie pasta for dinner.

They got back at 5:30, and the concert started at 6:30, so I figured I was safe. No one was hungry. But no, my father decided he HAD to go to this concert. Did I mention it was German music (and food)? And that while I love music, oom-pah-pah stuff doesn't really move me.

So while they relaxed I ran around feeding all the animals. DIdn't mention the pasta I'd cooked -- I guess in retrospect we could've brought it, but I didn't think of it at the time (not to mention there really wasn't enough time to warm it up again, and even tho it could be eaten cold, I prefer it warm). Moot point, I didn't do it.

Because I refused to eat something I don't particularly like (sausages, mainly) we stopped at a deli to pick up sandwiches. Probably accounts for part of why I gained a pound this week, despite getting a hummus & veggie sandwich. I probably shouldn't have eaten it all, but I did.

Well, it was a nice night. And truly, if it had been something other than German music, it would have been enjoyable. Thankfully my mom didn't particularly like the music either, and we left early -- I'd already told them we'd have to if they wanted me to come, but she made sure we left even earlier than I'd planned to. I'm not sure if that was to make my life easier or because she really wasn't enjoying it. We were sitting on the ground (on a blanket, thankfully I had one in my car), and she wasn't very comfortable. We didn't realize there'd be so many people there.

2 nights ago my father had to have an envelope & stamps so he could mail something. The envelope wasn't a problem, but hunting up the stamps were, but I did it. And then it sat there for 2 days. And then yesterday my father asked me to put it in the mailbox. I know, that seems an innocent request, right?

Only wasps have built a hive right behind the hinge of the door. I didn't realize that when I went to get the mail on Monday, right before they arrived, and I got stung. And I got stung again yesterday.

But this morning I found the hive, and I'll spray it this evening.

My camera stopped working yesterday. Just won't close. Didn't give me the dead battery warning. I gained a pound this week. Not my best week.

Ok. My parents have left, my life can go back to semi-normal tomorrow. I'll spray the hive now that I know where it is (despite my mild phobia of stinging insects, and yes, those stings REALLY hurt).

Our meeting today was all about breaking plateaus. And I was so hoping to do well this week, only I didn't. I didn't falter on the exercise front -- got my exercise in even with my parents here.

I strived to be good. But there probably was too much sweets this week. A bit too much stress. And probably portion sizes might have been a tad out of whack, too.

The good news is I now have a lot of food on hand. The bad news is I now have a lot of food on hand. It's all healthy, but some of it is probably a bit more caloric then I would usually eat. I need to sit down and figure out some goals.

And figure out what really motivates me. That's what today's meeting was about. My leader was saying that when it comes down to whether or not to eat the cake (or whatever), being healthy doesn't usually really sway us on the side of angels. So what would? What would really keep me on the straight and narrow?

I was doing so well. I really thought I was doing well this week too, but in the end, as much as we curse it, the scale doesn't lie. But I am still motivated. I am still deteremined. So what will really motivate me? I'm not sure. I have 3 days before my husband comes home to give it some thought.

What really motivates you? What makes you step away from the brownies, the ice cream, the chips, the beers?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEMPEST272002 7/15/2010 7:51PM

    Geez, 1 pound gain doesn't sound too bad all things considering. I'm sure it'll be gone by next week. Glad you survived the parents!

What motivates me? Every time I want to quit, I ask myself if I really want to go back to feeling sick & tired all the time? No? Well, then get back to it girl!

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SHEILA1505 7/15/2010 2:04PM

    The scale may not lie - but you are forgetting that when we are stressed our bodies hold on tight to everything it can - so that may well account for the additional pound.

Just freeze whatever you can for a rainy day, drink your water, do your exercises, breathe and be thankful your folks are relatively healthy and went away happy to have seen you. You don't have to do it all again this month, you know!!

Big hugs - and take care of those monster stingers out there

:)) Breathe ... and smile!!

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NURSE4HEROES 7/15/2010 1:53PM

    Funny, i found my answer in your last paragraph!
As much as I love to look good for myself, it's the thought of my Fiance that motivates me to stay on my program. He accepts me no matter what, but I want to look good for him and to make him proud to have me "on his arm". Corny, but I've never felt this way about weightloss/fitness before. In the past it was all about ME. I guess we sometimes meet people who inspire us to be better people.

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GEODAWG 7/15/2010 1:49PM

    i would have gained four hundred pounds! Dealing with family while having to eat is no fun. It is hard to do. Sometimes none of our little mind tricks work and we eat what we should not eat. So, we're human. Just deal with it and go on. At least you have a few days alone! How wonderful. By the way, did you eat your veggie pasta?

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How about some cheese with that whine?

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Ok, I'll be venting about my parents now. I know some of you no longer have your parents around, and would point out to me you'd be happy to have some of these minor things to deal with in exchange for more time with your parents but . . .

Actually, my mom & I get along great. Always have. We have a lot in common and yet are very different as well. She was a tomboy, I was a couch potato. She tends to be very judgemental, and I'd at least like to think that I'm more open-minded.

My Dad is a very different story. Some of the annoying things now are just old-age things. He can't hear very well, even with hearing aids, so he cranks up the tv. I, for instance, have the volume at 10 usually; he likes it around 16 or 17 and I really just can't bear it. And to add insult to injury, he'll just leave it at that level and leave the room. So here I'm thinking he's watching tv and I've either been driven outside, downstairs, or into my room, when the reality is no one is in there and it's just blaring (yet he's so concerned about turning off lights).

Speaking of lights, as they were leaving this afternoon (not for good, yet, just to go out & do some touring on their own), he said he couldn't get one of the lights off in the garage. I assumed it was just the light from the garage door opener, but no, it was the light switch right next to the door -- which he'd obviously turned on since it isn't usually on.

I could go on & on, but the worst thing is that he is just a totally narcissitic person. It's all about him. He wanders around, doing what he wants, when he wants to -- no matter how many people are waiting on him. He has always been this way, and it's always been annoying. He wants to know why I get up so early -- because of course this effects him since I also go to bed early, and can't show him how to work the tv (which I've already done twice).

Usually DH is around to handle them at night, but he's away on a business trip. I actually felt somewhat pleased that he couldn't figure out the tv last night, because I would never have been able to sleep with it blaring at the volume he needs it at, and I really needed some sleep last night. I'd already stayed up quite a bit later than I normally do (which they still think is excessively early).

Mind you, I've been going to bed this early for basically the entire time I've been married -- 25 years -- and it's still a surprise to him. Not because of his age, but because he simply doesn't really register what other people do. Because that's not all about him, not until it actually impinges on what he wants to do.

Well, I could go on & on. Let's just say I'm glad that they have something to do today that doesn't involve me. They did enjoy what we did yesterday, thankfully. My parents are fun people, but they aren't fun houseguests (at least not to me).

And no, I'm not letting my little upsets effect my eating, and I've managed to continue with my Insanity workouts while they're here, too. Altho I must admit that I'm thinking some Chocolate Peanut butter coconut milk is really calling my name for after my workout -- not really the best recovery snack, but I think I can work it in.

P.S. I've tried ear plugs . . . never yet really found one that works.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KEAKMAN 7/15/2010 8:15AM

    Remember our trip back east over Christmas? In a snowstorm? Driving a 5 hour trip that took 13 hours? I nearly killed my mother that day. Seriously. She would NOT shut up. Period. I finally buried myself in texting to ignore her - at the cost of $27 in overage fees because we didn't have unlimited texting like I thought! So I understand you - you love them, but they might drive you insane or to manslaughter....Here's hoping that you make it out alive and free!

And emoticonfor sticking with your eating and exercising while they are with you!

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GEODAWG 7/14/2010 10:35PM

    I hear you hon. My mother drove me nuts while she was still here, then, when she died, I was surprised to find out how much I missed her! She became more rigid as she aged and she made her world more and more narrow. I guess I just could not stand that she was not the way she had been when younger. Sigh. Getting old is not for sissys!

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TEMPEST272002 7/14/2010 3:11PM

    Go ahead and vent. We're here for you! Remember to keep breathing. For the noise at night, try putting on a floor fan. The white noise will help cancel out the tv noise and help you get to sleep.

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DDHEART 7/14/2010 2:39PM

    BTW....telling me not to read your post today if I wasn't prepared for the venting was like a magnet...drawing me right here!! Well, I'm one of the people who has lost both her parents....dad's been gone for at least 8 years, wait, no it's more like 10 and mom has been gone for over 4 years....I miss them,I loved them and I still remember how much they drove me crazy! Ok, I know that their youngest daughter made them crazy too and it's a good thing otherwise no children would ever take off to find their own way in the world. There is that old saw that likens houseguests to fish....after some time they both start to stink and I think it's even worse when the housegusts are family because we want so much to not feel this way. You've got a place to vent....there's light at the end of the tunnel...and you have been staying on track....Yay you!

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HEYRED221 7/14/2010 2:32PM

    I feel for you. My dad is 83 and mom 81. Mom just got out of hospital and she is pretty negative about everything. My dad gets frustrated with her as well. Is this what we have to look forward too in our old age?!!? emoticon I just have to remind myself - they are not going to change, its too late for that, so we just have to be patient and can only change our own behavior. Just remember its temporary (their visit) and you will soon have your home back to yourself. Hang in there! emoticon

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SHEILA1505 7/14/2010 1:18PM

    I hear you! And when I hear this, I stop wishing and wake up to the old reality :)
It's difficult when it's in your home and no adjustments are made to fit in with your routine.


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IFDEEVARUNS2 7/14/2010 1:06PM

    Kvetch away, you're entitled. It's good to air it out.

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What to do with people that can't be active?

Monday, July 12, 2010

My parents are coming up this afternoon. For a couple of days. They are 82 and 84, and while generally healthy, they don't move well any more and walking is hard for them. I am wracking my brains trying to think of ways to entertain them. Suggestions welcome.

There are the movies, of course. We all love movies, but my parents have generally seen everything in creation.

I thought a cruise on the Hudson would be fantastic, but unfortunately they dont have any while they're here.

I'm thinking I might try to unearth our Scrabble board. That might be the ticket.

There's the NY state museum, but of course that requires walking.

We could go to the park and they could sit on a bench while I walk the dogs.

They are part of why I try so hard to eat right and exercise. While my family is mostly long-lived (with the exception of a couple of my uncles, but they were both smokers and that's basically what killed them and I've never smoked a day in my life thank goodness). I don't just want to live long, I want to live well. I want to thrive!

Yesterday was a whirlind of preparing food. A waldorf salad for tonight, some tofu deviled egg salad (not sure my parents will brave it, but I made it anyway), and a raw strawberry cheesecake that I think will be really yummy (again, not sure my parents will brave it).

Didn't get any cleaning done tho, and I need to clean today. Thankfully by 8 am I have almost all my steps in for the day -- I went for an early morning run again, and then walked the dogs, and that brings me almost to 10,000 steps right there. I still have my Insanity to do, altho it's a "light" day with just the fit test (which is a pretty good workout in and of itself) and maybe some light weight training if I'm feeling it.

I am loving early morning runs. Even tho I was tired when I woke up -- DH left on his business trip early yesterday morning and as I said, yesterday I was too busy to blog or even read most of y'all's blogs -- I still just did it. And I'm so glad I did. It was cool. The sun is barely up so I don't need sunglasses or my hat. I actually do have energy, since I haven't already walked the dogs or done Insanity. I just miss my relaxing mornings and reading my magazine in the morning before starting my day.

Actually, yesterday was my rest day and my only real exercise was walking the dogs. But between going to 2 different stores to grocery shop, stopping at TJMaxx & Sport Authority, I still racked up over 10,000 steps. I was rather surprised. Most rest days I'm lucky if I get to 6000 or 70000 unless I'm very mindful.

Wish me luck entertaining the folks on my own!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTH4LYFE 7/12/2010 9:45PM

    Is there an observatory where you live? As others mentioned, do you like to play card games? Perhaps you could introduce your parents to a new one. Have you ever heard of "Oh Heck" or Phase 10. You may not be exercising your bodies, but the mind needs exercise too.
Are there paddle boats you could rent in your area? You could do most of the paddling and your parents could sit and appreciate the view.
I also think what they will enjoy most is being able to spend time with you. Have fun. Get your runs in early, when the weather is cooler and you'll be good to go for the rest of the day.

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JLITT62 7/12/2010 9:05PM

    Thanks for all the suggestions! As to just being with me -- you don't know my parents. They always want to be doing something -- the problem is that nowadays there isn't really a whole lot they CAN do. Which can make coming up with ideas not so easy.

They enjoyed dinner at least . . .

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DDHEART 7/12/2010 7:29PM

    First, look at you loving your morning runs! Who would've thunk it?!
When you mentioned Scrabble I was instantly transported to my parents (who are now both gone) playing scrabble....mom frustrating the rest of us with her three letter words falling on triple word squares....and dad wanting to keep playing until he won.....Thanks for the family moment...our family were game players so that would be the easy decision....as far as movies....are there some favorite old....classics...that you would all enjoy seeing again on dvd? As others have said, your parents of ocurse want to spend time with you....a home movie night with good food, good company and some great old favorites might be fun. Good luck.

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GEODAWG 7/12/2010 6:29PM

    My mother always just wanted to sit and talk when we were together. I doubt they need entertaining just your presence will be enough. Do ask your Mom and Dad help you do something. I always feel so stupid just sitting at my kids' houses. I want to be useful!

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TEMPEST272002 7/12/2010 5:43PM

    My guess is that your parents probably would rather just spend time with you than "do" anything else. Play cards, dinner theatre, horse-drawn carriage ride through the park or kabuki cab in the city, get out your childhood photo albums and reminice, spa treatment with your mum, take your dad to a pawn shop or speciality shop to browse, make home-made goodies together (great low-cal recipes on sparkrecipes.com)... any of these help?

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HEYRED221 7/12/2010 3:26PM

    Do you have a trolley or something similar (bus, etc) that gives tours of your town?

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KARBIE18 7/12/2010 12:15PM

    Best of luck - I LOVE Scrabble, by the way!

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KEAKMAN 7/12/2010 9:50AM

    Not knowing what is in your area I can't offer any advice on how to entertain the folks, but good luck to you! (and good luck keeping your dad from messing up the TV while you are exercising!)

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SLIMMERJESSE 7/12/2010 9:49AM

    Yes, I was going to suggest board games and/or cards. Have fun!

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SLOTTI 7/12/2010 8:53AM

    Good luck with the parents!

I'm impressed with how many steps you take. I keep losing my pedometer (cats... husband... moving....) You are doing great!

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Would you trade your looks to be able to eat whatever you wanted?

Saturday, July 10, 2010

I saw a segment on the Today show the other day about a girl that has a rare condition that doesn't allow her to gain weight, despite eating about 5000 calories a day (and a lot of that is junk food). Apparently the disease isn't fatal.

The catch is that she looks like a wizened old woman, because she's severely underweight and has almost no body fat.

Would you want a disease like that, which would allow you to eat whatever you wanted -- and pretty much however much you wanted -- but you would look very odd and therefore draw a lot of attention to yourself simply by being you?

While I know that I am not my body, I don't believe I would be happy for very long, despite being able to eat whatever I want.

I guess I need to remind myself of this the next time I get upset that I can't eat whatever I want whenever I want it. That there are far worse problems to have.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEMPEST272002 7/11/2010 9:50PM

    Isn't this exactly what I did when I ate my way to 280 lbs? Didn't I lose my face, my body, my sex appeal in favour of chips and chocolate and greasy foods? Didn't I make myself an object of attention - on the bus where I could see people thinking "not next to me!" or when I couldn't squeeze into a chair with arms, never mind a lawn chair. Not only did I choose eating anything I want over my looks, but also my health and my happiness. That girl doesn't have a choice - but I did and still do. Thank you for reminding me of the impact of my choices. I always leave your blogs with something to think about.

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BLUEANGELLK 7/11/2010 9:39PM

    It is tempting, but I think most of us would rather have to watch what we eat a bit and look healthy.

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DDHEART 7/11/2010 5:47PM

    Interesting question and I know I wouldn't want that either.....it's good to be reminded that there are far worse thangs than having to pay attention to our diet and exercise. The problem is that if we're short we want to be tall and if our legs are long we want to be more petite....curly hair? how about straight?...as Rosanne Rosanna Anna Danna would say...."It's always something" emoticon

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GEODAWG 7/11/2010 5:11PM

    I think I'll stick with what I have because in reality I can eat whatever I want I just can't eat it in abundant quantities. Bless her heart. Must be some kind of digestive disorder. Wonder if they could bottle part of the cause? No, no, that is a terrible thought. Bad Judy, Bad girl!

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KEAKMAN 7/10/2010 3:11PM

    Well I guess I will be careful of what I wish for! Who knew such a thing existed????

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GERPAT 7/10/2010 12:32PM

    No, well maybe for a few minutes LOL! Kidding aside, it's just food and after a while we would see that we still have the same problems because nothing would be solved or healed we are still ourselves just thinner. I read something that spoke of if everyone piled their problems and you were allowed to pick anothers problem you would take back your own because it would not seem as bad as the others........

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SKFEREBEE 7/10/2010 11:53AM

    No, would rather look healthy even if I have to work hard to achieve it. If only they could bottle that gene for weight loss though...

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LUCKYLADY777 7/10/2010 11:41AM

    no, I feel so sorry for those people with that terrible disease, and it seems at this point not too much can be done to help them. Yes, there is so much to count our blessings and sometimes just a little awareness like you wrote brings back a little humbleness.

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