Thursday, April 08, 2010
Yup, that's me in a nutshell. Hope springs eternal, as they say, and spring has sprung here (even if we are going back into the 50s in a day).
I'm not quite sure what I'm hopeful for at this week's WI. Hopeful that I haven't gained anymore weight, altho I'm not sure. I've vacillated on the feeling that I've gained and lost all week long. I used to be able to tell, but not so much lately.
I know darn well I won't be breaking my plateau.
I am hopeful that I can continue to eat in a manner that is healthy and satisfying to me. It's been such a struggle the last month or so. Oddly enough, lately I've been satisfied more often than not. Perhaps all that brown rice is actually helping.
I am hopeful that I've lost something.
Hopeful that I can find the book I want to peruse at the bookstore. I hit one already, but they didn't have it. I have an Amazon coupon coming, and this cookbook comes highly recommended, but I do like to leaf thru them when I can.
I sort of get sick about writing about the ups and downs of my weight, week after week, altho you'd clearly never know that from all the blogs I churn out. But I hate repetition, and there's been a whole lot of repetition this year -- up, down, up, down, up, up, stayed the same . . .
One thing has remained a constant: despite the fact that I'm far from perfect (both in body, and in mind and spirit), despite the fact that I'm still oh so far from GW, I am still enjoying my "new" old body. I am appreciative of what I have, and that is why I continue to struggle so hard. I do not want to go backwards. I'm happy where I am, and looking forward to where I'm going at the same time.
How bout you? Are you happy where you are, wherever you are?
If not, what are you going to change?
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
I just finished "Possum Living", which was apparently a cult classic back in the 70s, about living frugally, essentially. One of the last paragraphs really spoke to me:
Ask yourself what you aim to be and what you should be doing. Are you livng the life you ought to be living? If yes, then good luck to you. If not, then start taking control of your life. It CAN be done. It SHOULD be done. Do it. You don't have forever.
Wiser words never spoken, eh?
Of course it applies to so much more than weight loss.
So short & sweet today. Are you living the life you ought to be livng, and if not, why (see my first 5 weight loss questions blog a few blog posts ago).
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Seriously. If you plan for it, almost ANYTHING can be part of a healthy diet.
Tonight I'd planned to make a "healthy" chocolate pudding cake. Healthy in that it doesn't have any dairy or refined sweetners or refined flour, but it still falls far from a health food.
Yet I found myself staring at my plan this morning, thinking maybe I ought to make chocolate dipped strawberries instead. Still an indulgence, but one minus the flour altogether and including healthy fruit, to boot.
I've put the pudding cake back on the menu, though. I've planned for it. I should be able to eat it. The only reason I might not make it is that I also plan to make a new recipe for both lunch & dinner, and I might just lose some steam by the time dessert rolls around.
I think one of the biggest things I've continued to struggle with lately is not always feeling satisfied. It seemed so easy those first (almost) 30 pounds, yet lately it's so elusive.
I do find myself hungry sometimes. You're not supposed to be hungry when you're leading a healthy lifestyle, right? So what gives? And no, I haven't actually been craving sweets lately, just hungry. Sometimes. So yes, I've been eating more rabbit food as it's so lovingly referred to. Because yes, if you want to live a healthy lifestyle, at some point you're going to have to start eating SOME rabbit food.
Do you find it hard to give yourself permission to eat the foods you truly crave?
Do you struggle with having to eat "rabbit" food? (Hey, I actually enjoy a lot of rabbit food. Problem is I still enjoy sweets, too. Not so much craving them, but still enjoy them).
When do you become too virtuous? That's something I've been thinking a lot about lately. Every day we're bombarded by all the things we shouldn't eat -- all that crap that goes into junk food -- but isn't just a little crap ok sometimes?
On cookbook maven today:
My review of Tofutti pan pizza (hint: it wasn't 2 thumbs up). The search for a good non-dairy frozen pizza. And food rituals revolving around religious holidays. You know you want to share . . .
And this just in! I just took a good look at some of the ingredients in my beloved vitatops. I think you'll find it very interesting reading.
It was an interesting article to research!
Monday, April 05, 2010
So, conventional wisdom says you should focus on what you can add not your diet, not on what you can't have.
Lately I've been focusing on adding whole grains and greens, and doing pretty well with it, too. Only one problem: I continue to be really hungry. It's not that what I'm eating is unsatisfying, much of it is really, really good -- it's just not filling me up enough.
Many say just trust your body and give it what it wants. While that works for me sometimes, it's not working for me lately. If I give it what it wants, instead of filling up my body is filling out. And I don't really want to fill out more than I am right now.
Of course my diet isn't perfect. I don't strive for perfection. In fact, I loosely follow the 80/20 rule -- eat healthy 80% of the time, and indulge a bit 20% of the time. Have some fun foods.
I will continue to plan, to plot, to scheme, and to try and trust in something higher than myself guiding myself. And pray that that guidance kicks in real soon!
Do you feel you have to eat perfectly to lose weight?
What sort of fun foods do you still eat?
I will get back to the second half of my 10 questions blog, just didn't want to think that deeply today (plus a bit crunched for time).
On Cookbook Maven recently:
What are your favorite raw veggies to snack on? Could definitely use some comments on that one -- looking for some new ideas.
Check out my heart sushi (really cool looking!), some cute animal photos, I shared my recipe for Vegan Mazo Brei (really simple), and some interesting food blogs this week -- how to know if your diet is right for you; whether or not photoshopping is wrong.
Friday, April 02, 2010
Somewhere, recently, I read that if we're having a problem, we need to ask ourselves 10 questions about it. I think it came in the tip of the day from www.peertrainer.com .
So, I've been stuck. For months. I thought I'd see if I could come up with 10 questions to see if it can help me become unstuck -- or refocused.
1. What do I get out of maintaining my weight?
The obvious answer is I get to eat more food. You can eat more (but not as much as you'd like) when you're maintaining vs losing. I get the comfort of knowing that I CAN maintain my weight. I don't have to think too much about what I'm doing -- I'm mostly (but not completely) on autopilot.
2. What will I get out of losing the last 10 pounds?
The satisfaction of knowing I have done -- which is somewhat fleeting. Clothes that are tight now will fit comfortably -- and I have some clothes that I really, really want to fit into. Most of my clothes fit now, because I do believe in fitting the body I have NOW.
But there's a couple of pairs of jeans I thought I'd be wearing by now . . . they taunt me.
I will no longer have to pay for Weight Watchers. This so motivates me . . . so why can't I seem to actually do what I need to do? Oops, another questions.
I might begin to work for Weight Watchers again. This also motivates me.
More self confidence. The more weight I lose, the better I feel about myself. But that also follows the law of diminishing returns, doesn't it? Obviously, I can't continue to lose weight forever. Intersting thought there, huh?
3. What do I think I need to do to move forward with my weight loss?
Eat less sweets -- not eliminate them completely, but eat less of them. They are not nutrient dense. They do not fill my belly (altho sometimes they fill my soul).
Choose smarter snacks. This has been a toughie. I don't crave veggies as snacks. This is something that obviously needs some work.
Put up more visual reminders. I used to have some up in Austin, but I don't have much here. Part of that is just the moving-in process. Part of that is just sheer laziness.
4. When do I struggle the most?
Generally right before dinner. I don't have much control over when we eat -- I have to wait for DH to come home, and that varies. So sometimes I go too long without eating, and I get really hungry. But usually I don't have any points to spare for a snack.
So that means I need to have something small before dinner. I need to revamp my eating style, again.
I have been eating mostly 4 400-calorie meals a day, getting away from the smaller, more frequent meals, but I guess I really do need another snack in the afternoon. Just need to think about what that snack needs to be.
5. What emotions am I feeding?
Tiredness, sometimes. I do have a tendency to be hungrier when I'm more tired. I need to come up with other ways to soothe myself when I'm really tired. I usually get enough sleep, but sometimes the weather might make me tired -- and sometimes (like last night) I do have trouble sleeping.
So what can I do -- other than eat -- when I'm really tired and I don't want to exercise?
Yoga, maybe. The relaxing kind, obviously. Need to build up my yoga DVD collection. Working on that already.
Read. I love to read. I don't have as much time for it as I'd like anymore.
Look thru a cookbook for recipe ideas.
Watch a prerecorded show, or a movie -- or one of my tv-show DVDs (I don't have a lot of them, but I do have a few -- one I haven't even taken the cover off of).
Maybe give the dogs an extra walk. That would depend on just how tired I really am.
Knit. Haven't been knitting at all for quite some time. It's so meditative.
Listen to music. I don't do enough of that, either.
Journal. I've completely stopped writing in my journal.
Just lay down on the bed for a while. The dogs love to snuggle with me when I'm laying down on the bed. Or lay on the floor in corpse pose, or with legs up the wall.
Enjoy a cup of tea.
I will need to make a jar with soothing-when-you're-tired activities. Maybe that's what I'll use my crystal heart for. I bought a small crystal heart when we were in Prague, and I haven't figured out what to do with it. It just sits on our kitchen table. It still definitely makes me smile.
Whew! I'm sure there's more to ponder; I've probably just scratched the surface. But I'm glad that I did. This wasn't at all premeditated.
Any questions you think I should ask myself (haven't yet decided what the next 5 should be). Any questions YOU should ask yourself?
Now I'm off to relax a bit. I kicked a kettlebell yesterday -- which didn't seem much at the time, but I bruised one of my toes pretty good and it really hurts. No running today, despite our lovely weather finally. Drats! How odd is it to actually be mad I can't run? I will still walk the dogs. But going up & down stairs is quite literally a pain, which reminds me I forgot to bring my book down here. Double drat.
On cookbook maven today:
Pondering weird foods we eat for our religion. Got one? And of course what I'm eating. My review of my frozen Passover pizza.
And if you don't get over there, and actually got this far, here are the cute new shoes I bought yesterday. Which now I can't wear due to my toe.
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