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The perfect storm

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Warning: a bit of whining ahead.

Our thoughts are so powerful. I can remember telling DH, before our move, that I wouldn't be terribly happy if I have to shovel the driveway while he's away on a business trip somewhere warm.

So he's in CA, and we just got the largest snowfall of our season. And it's supposed to keep snowing until Friday. So I'll get multiple opportunities to shovel the driveway.

Wow, our thoughts really ARE powerful, huh?

Well, I'll certainly be getting in some exercise. I always keep an eye on the weather because of the dogs. They do not like rain, and while they don't mind snow, they don't like getting their paws wet.

DH actually built a small lean-to next to the patio for them. They haven't quite caught on to the idea, altho Lola has used it a couple of times, and Chester finally used it last night. Plus we have a picnic table out there and they sometimes go under that, too.

Last night Lola was being very stubborn, and didn't want to do anything anywhere. I finally carried her out to the pine tree, since the snow was pretty light under there & she often goes around there.

She then proceeded to go the back of our property, where there's a row of pine trees, walked all the way along it to the fence, and finally did her business all the way over there. Stubborn girl.

I don't only have to shovel the driveway, I also have to shovel them some paths out in the backyard. DH had made a little race track for them in our last snowfall. This time there's about 6-8" out there -- thankfully nowhere near what the southeast got socked with.

And I don't have anywhere to go today. That's why I did my food shopping Monday, and went ice skating yesterday. I'm actually glad I didn't go to the movies (hopefully I'll get to one this weekend -- I'll deserve it by then!).

As I was taking a break at ice skating yesterday, I finally decided to leave, altho I'd only been there 45 minutes (and probably only skated about 30). I was just tired. Turned out TOM started last night, too (right around the time I was carrying Lola around the backyard, wouldn't you know?).

I am so glad I did -- that is right around the time it started to snow in earnest. If I'd gone to the movies, I'd have been in the thick of things. As it was, I didn't even have to brush my car off.

I had more luck yesterday, too, because it was garbage day (was last week when we got our last snow, too). Last time the trash can got snowed in because they didn't pick it up until it had been snowing quite a while. This time I was able to get it back into its place before the snow really started to stick, which means the plow can actually clear the road. Not that he does a great job. We leave on a cul-de-sac, and he tends not to get right up to our driveways.

My WI is tomorrow, tho, and I'd really like to get to it. My jeans were feeling looser despite TOM.

Well, today was meant to be a cardio day anyway. The biggest problem, again, is the dogs. Specifically Lola. Hopefully I can convince her to do something again this morning.

The dogs lean-to.

What I've accomplished by 10:30 after almost 2 hrs of shoveling on & off. Maybe half the driveway. Why didn't I learn how to use the snowblower? Oh yeah, power tools scare me.

So there you have it: lots of snow, no deep thoughts. And if you got this far, thank you for reading.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DDHEART 2/24/2010 7:21PM

    You were in my thoughts many times in the last 24 hours since I knew you would be alone in taking care of the snow clearing....only good thing is that you got lots of exercise! I hope your picky pooch desides that the best way is to just get it over quickly....I had to smile thinking of you having to carry her out to a covered spot...hope you can stay good and warm, enjoy a cup of tea and get ready for the next go around in the shoveling business!

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HEYRED221 2/24/2010 12:18PM

    emoticon Thats hard work, but a great work out. Hang in there!


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CRAVE_FREE 2/24/2010 11:11AM

    Nice pictures. I hope you get a nice cup of warm tea when you get done. Yay exercise and outdoor time! (Ok, you can hurt me for that last comment, but I was trying to get to the bright side...)

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SLIMMERJESSE 2/24/2010 9:19AM

    Your weather makes news here in CA and yesterday they said it was going to be a "snowacane." Snow with high winds. Hope you stock up in case you're snowed in. I can imagine how pets hate going outdoors during this time. Imagine if we had to go barefoot to reach an outhouse! Not fun! (smiling) Have a peaceful day.

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BESSHAILE 2/24/2010 6:58AM

    This certainly is the longest winter! Even we are promised some snow flurries though mostly it will be rain. yuck.

Yay about the jeans being looser. Hope you make it to your WI and hope it is a positive experience.

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Fear of imperfection

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

It's one I'm sure a lot of us share. How many times in your life have you either not done something or abandoned it because you couldn't do it perfectly? Of course, this one is all tied up in the fear of failing, too.

I probably learned this one at a young age. Like my brother and my sister, I swam on the swim team (for our JCC, not at school -- they didn't have swim teams at school, not at that young an age, anyway). I wasn't very good.

I have always enjoyed swimming, but I'm no athelete. In anything. I am slow. Most athletic things don't come naturally to me. I'm the bookworm, the one with her nose always in a book.

Sometimes it's so much easier to not start something rather than to face up to our fear of imperfectin. You know, I blew it so I might as well just eat what I want mentality. Or I'll start my diet on Monday.

There have been times in my life that I have overcome my fears of failure and imperfection. I got married -- and stay married -- after all. I owned & operated my own business for 13 years (while not exactly a rousing a success, still, it brought us extra money and was very fulfilling, at least for a while, and brought me lots of great opportunities).

The bottom line is that none of us is perfect. So what, really, is there to fear? Failure? Pick yourself up and start again. You probably learned something from not being perfect.

I, for one, have put aside my fears of imperfection and registered for my first 5k in June. Sure, I still have lots of fears about it. Fear of being last -- probably not, it's a very large run, but there's no doubt that I am still very slow. I can't seem to get past 45 minutes or just a little less for a 5k, and even that is still hard for me. I'm sure hoping adrenaline kicks in and gives me a faster time.

Fear of looking foolish. Even fear of getting lost! I haven't yet driven into the big, bad city.

Fear is really such a useless emotion, mostly. It's useful if you're walking down an empty street you shouldn't be walking down, for instance, and it keeps you alert. But the fears that we let rule our lives hold us back from living our lives. Sometimes you just have to give that fear a kick to the side, live your life, and realize that what you feared wasn't so bad after all.

What sort of fears hold you back? Have you overcome any fears on your weight loss journey? Has being perfect ever really been all that rewarding for you? What could you do if you didn't worry about being perfect?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FREELADY 2/24/2010 2:06PM

    Amazing, amazing, amazing blog. Really hits one of my spots!

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JUSTDUCKY1405 2/24/2010 1:23PM

    Anything is what you can do!

Great blog!

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EOSTAR_45 2/23/2010 3:44PM

    Way to go on overcoming your fear and registering for that 5K. I am sure you will have so much fun and fear will be the last thing on your mind.

And I so agree that fear does hold us back and it consumes so much time and energy. I made a vow this year to not allow fear to be what holds me back from the things I want to do. So far, so good. I have to check myself every so often when I find myself hesitating for one reason or another coz fear is sneaky. I read somewhere that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.

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DDHEART 2/23/2010 2:14PM

    There are so many things I "pretended" not to be interested in as a child because I was afraid....I missed out on every toboggan party, never tried skiing (snow) didn't join the pom pom squad with my friends....the list goes on....

You are going to do so well for the 5K....by doing this, you are already a winner!

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CRAVE_FREE 2/23/2010 12:57PM

    If I didn't worry about being perfect, I would participate in more sports. I love to play softball, volleyball, tennis and go bowling, but I'm terrible. I feel bad letting my teammates down.

To comfort myself on not being perfect, I've always told myself that perfection is boring. Also, I think about art work, and how some of the most famous works are kind of messed up, and that's what makes them perfect. So maybe we should all think of ourselves as works of art, messed up and perfect that way?

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HEYRED221 2/23/2010 12:28PM

    I do worry too much about certain things not being perfect, so therefore, I don't want to do. I am much better than I used to be though - I've know its better to take a risk and try rather than not try at all :-)

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SLIMMERJESSE 2/23/2010 9:58AM

    You will do fine. Don't worry about the time and just enjoy the race. Give yourself credit for even doing it. You will get faster in time, if that's what you want to do. I find the more I give into fear, the bigger it becomes. Have you read the book, "Feel the Fear, Do It Anyway?" Life is full of fearful things, and some are truly worthy of our time in order to keep us alive. But others are meant to challenge us into laughing in its face and proceeding as though we don't care a bit. You'll have a blast with this race, I have no doubt.

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SHEILA1505 2/23/2010 8:43AM

    This perfection thing, or must be first, has killed so much enjoyment. I did my very best swimming for club and for school but couldn't quite make it to County (I was third &they took the top 2),and this wasn't good enough for my father who made me feel I wasnt trying hard enough. History repeated itself and he refused to watch my son play rugby at school unless he got into the First Team. That was never going to happen - he was a lightweight. If I wanted to do a course, it had to have some financial future to merit the enrollment and fees.

Whatever happened to playing a sport or doing anything because we enjoy it and it stretches us physically or mentally? If I could run without snapping my ankles I think I would delight in the rush of air past my face and the exhilaration of pounding along amongst other like-minded people; much as I find joy in my struggles to dance.

Comment edited on: 2/23/2010 8:45:13 AM

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IFDEEVARUNS2 2/23/2010 7:10AM

Good for you. No way will you be last. Slow and steady, that's what gets you there. That moved me up from the back of the pack to about the middle. Yes, I started all the way in the back, and by the end of 5k I'd managed to trudge past about half the crowd.

As I read this blog, all I could think is that you were describing me in so many ways. I was taught that 'if you are going to do something, you should do it well'. I translated that to mean 'if you can't do it well, don't do it'. I missed out on so much for so many years.

Kudos to you for just getting out there and doing it! emoticon

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SEKSUNSHINE 2/23/2010 6:50AM

    I'm so glad you are doing the race! Fear is the ultimate challenge to defeat, and we never do no matter how hard we try. I know I'm struggling with it at the moment with the new business. I'll win, it will just take a little time. Great blog!

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KARBIE18 2/23/2010 6:40AM

    So glad you didn't let your fears stop you from signing up for the 5K. I'm sure none of them will actually come to pass, and I think you'll enjoy it.

Yep, fear has held me back from many things. I'm still half asleep, so I can't think of any examples, but I know that it has. I'm defifnitely working on it, though. I know I give it WAY too much power.

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BESSHAILE 2/23/2010 6:39AM

    whoo boy you got that right! Fear. It is so stupid and it trips us up or holds us back so many times. My biggest fear is selling things, like tickets for charitable events. Yet I run a non profit - I believe in what we do - I adore our product - so why is it so difficult for me to get out there and sell tickets?

There are so many things I've had to do in spite of fear - even putting in a garden! It took me forever to get around to it.

Good for you for signing up for that 5K - remember - those folk looking at you are the ones who wish they had had the courage to sign up too -

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GOGIRL62 2/23/2010 5:42AM

    Way to go for registering for the 5K. You won't be last and even if you are don't let fear take away the excitement of the race.

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Fear of failure

Monday, February 22, 2010

I was watching a kid skate last week. Maybe he was 6 years old. And he was fearless. Bombing around on the ice, coming to ice-showering stops.

I don't think I have ever been that way. I've always had a fear of hurting myself. I didn't particularly like bikes because I did fall once onto our gravel driveway -- and have the scar to this day to remember it by. When I wanted to go somewhere, I usually used my two feet. Until I got my license -- at a fairly early age because my parents were sick of playing tax driver to the last kid at home.

I didn't want to get that license, either. Yup, you guessed it, I was scared to learn to drive.

Is a fear of failure fueling my plateau? Maybe in the very back reaches of my subconscious, or almost-subconscious mind. I have been here before. Just about at this weight. Going to WW meetings (altho only once a month, not weekly, as a lifetime member). I was working out with a personal trainer. And no matter what I did, it seemed that I couldn't push past where I was at. Eventually I gave up.

Sort of -- I still worked out, I tried to eat healthy, but I gave up on going to meetings. That was about after a year of a plateau.

I don't remember that happening the first time I lost weight. Maybe I didn't fear failure so much then. Altho I'd lost weight before, I'd never lost it in a structured format; always on my own. Maybe I just didn't think about not getting to goal weight. Oh yeah, those last 10 pounds were hard and the weight never came off easy -- it never has -- but I was determined and I did it.

But that was 20 years ago. I've had 20 years of ups and downs, of trying so hard and always falling back down the mountain.

But this time is still different. I have more than WW -- I have all the support of my SP buddies, and that is something very different from every other weight loss attempt. I have the 29 pounds (more or less) that I've successfully peeled off this body when I truly didn't think I could lose weight anymore. When I was here before, I wasn't happy with myself. I thought I was so fat.

Now I AM happy with myself. I no longer think I'm so fat. Age has its priveleges after all. I still do think I am heavier than is healthy for my height -- despite my DH assuring me over & over that he thinks where I'm at is perfectly fine (maybe that makes him feel a bit better for being overweight and out of shape if I'm not quite at where I should be -- but I doubt guys really think about that all that much).

I do wish I could go back to the teenage me, the 20-something me, the 30-something me and shake some sense into myself. But I am the 40-something me I am today because of all the me's that have come before me. Changing the past would mean changing myself.

We CAN change. It's hard work. Sometimes it's scary work. But we can do anything we put our minds to.

How bout you? Do you believe you can change? Are you willing to do the work you need to to change? What's holding you back on your journey to a healthier you?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTDUCKY1405 2/22/2010 7:35PM

    Great blog! Loved the honesty and insight!

Thought this blog might have something to say to you...


I don't have any wise words of wisdom, other then that, just by simply blogging this, you have opened up the doorway to allow this old agreement, if it were there, to dissolve, and the new agreement to spring to life!

I wish you the best... facing our fears is difficult stuff. Ultimately, I truly believe it boils down to fear of not being perfect! Once we can accept that we aren't, well... you read that quote! My recent blogs might say something to you too!

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DDHEART 2/22/2010 5:04PM

    This was a beautiful blog! I have changed, I am changing, and yes, I have days that show me I have a great deal further to go! I believe you are really on to something here....there are many times when I get so close to full success and then I experience what I consider to be a major slip, at those times I have often had the thought "why am I doing this? what am I afraid of?" Reading this today was like reading my mind! Thanks for another great thought producer.

On another note, I need to thank you for inspiration. Today's oatmeal was peanut butter & banana with a dash of nutmeg since I just like nutmeg with banana. I had never stirred peanut butter in before but you have mentioned it often enough that I had to try it and I am ever so fond of peanut butter & banana sandwiches so seemed like a perfect combo. It was great and it held me perfectly even with a cold run this morning. This must be a near perfect balance of protein and carbs for me. Thank you! emoticon

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CRAVE_FREE 2/22/2010 8:55AM

    I agree with you that we are who we are today because of who we were. That is something I have to remind myself of when I get down about mistakes in my past.

I think most people who are on SparkPeople believe they can. I believe I can change too; I just don't know what it will look like when I get to goal. It's hard not to have a visual.

Glad you have a bigger support network now!

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SHEILA1505 2/22/2010 8:18AM

    As you say - this time you have US on your side. When we were on our own, and did not have to be accountable, it was oh too easy to slip-slide and forget about ourselves. Now - I don't want to go back to THAT dark horrid place. I like it up here and even tho those last pounds take forever (it seems) it is worth it.
Don't forget kids usually don't know how much harm they can get into - that's why they are fearless - they don't know what there is to fear.


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Alone again

Sunday, February 21, 2010

For about a week and a half. I've both been looking forward to being on my own again, and not. It's nice to be part of a team.

I look forward to it because I get to eat the way I want to. No, not binging or anything -- but vegetarian (except maybe some sushi in there), partly vegan, partly raw. I don't have to worry about pleasing anyone but myself.

OTOH, I tend to stay up a bit later -- but get up at the same time -- because DH takes the dogs out at night. So they're used to going out later. I won't stay up as late as he does, but I'll stay up just a bit later so they won't be so uncomfortable.

Not to mention that they're making some noises about some weather at the end of the week. I won't lie, it was so nice to stay snug & warm in the house while DH applied the snow blower to our last snowfall.

But I'll deal with whatever comes my way. I always do.

Chester has been clingier lately. The dogs haven't really seemd to clue in to when we're going somewhere. The cats do. They know when something is afoot. They know what suitcases are.

I'm wondering if he began to realize that DH was leaving? He was howling a bit as I left to go skating Friday, which is unlike him (he suffered very severe separation anxiety, but we've moved past that and most of the time he gets downright excited when I'm getting ready to go anywhere). He was whining when I got ready to go out to the movies yesterday (by myself, so DH was looking after them).

He slept with me last night, and for a dog usually attached at the hip to me, oddly enough he usually sleeps with DH. But he willingly went into his crate when I got up this morning (mornings are dog-free time with the cats),without me even asking him to.

How do you deal when your SO is away? Is it easier, or harder? Do you prefer cooking for yourself, or can't you be bothered? Do you take it as permission to eat "forbidden" foods?

DH will be gone almost a week and a half. He has 2 meeting in CA, and then he's going up to Seattle to visit his folks. It will be very tiring for him. I know on the few occasions I traveled for business, it was tiring, but it's also somewhat freeing to be able to do what you want when you want to. Sort of like with him gone. Only I still have all the animals to care for.

And when we gets back, hopefully our kitchen will get finished!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTDUCKY1405 2/22/2010 7:39PM

    I have very mixed emotions! I thrive when he is gone, and I thrive when he is home... just not in the same way! We are working on blending our lives, still to this day! But we are getting there, one baby step at a time. My life is in constant change... sometimes I really resent this... yup...:(

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CRAVE_FREE 2/21/2010 8:23PM

    I prefer to be the one to travel (no housework)! I like alone time during the day; I get a lot done and take me time, but I have a hard time sleeping at night (hubby is my security blanket and I live in a creaky, old house). For food, it's tricky. If I get to eat on my own, sometimes I eat crazy healthy, because I don't have to please anyone else. On the other hand, before SparkPeople, I might order PapaJohn's breadsticks and chocolate pastries and call that supper. EEEK! I hope your alone time affords you some delicious, healthy meals, and some freedom to to what you want!

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KUNGFOOD 2/21/2010 7:31PM

    I've just returned to campus, and won't "officially" be home again until October. We have planned to travel together in August this year for a couple weeks.

I asked him a similar question about how our "relationship" works, and he said that we "mature as a couple" through separation. Hmm.

As for the food, I ate carbs almost freely this weekend, had potatoes twice and a doughnut or two during this "together" weekend. I just felt like it was time for a break, and it is a time of significant change. I figure if I want to eat it, I might as well.

Otherwise resentment sends my "immature eater" into voracious-mode that will cost me dearly. I can go crazy on binges. Truly sickening.


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KARBIE18 2/21/2010 12:07PM

    Yep, me too. Kev leaves tomorrow morning, and won't be back until March 5th - he's going down to Florida to do some work on the in-laws winter place. As usual, I have mixed emotions, too. But now that they've simmered, they are more positive than negative. I'm definitely looking forward to cooking for myself, and having a clean, uncluttered home.

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SLIMMERJESSE 2/21/2010 11:22AM

    I am addicted to my alone time. Enjoy! And, yes, the pets all know when a trip is imminent. Even when they don't indicate it. Have a fun day.

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SEKSUNSHINE 2/21/2010 8:39AM

    I love when hubby is gone. It seems like the air is clearer and it is so nice to only worry about me and what I want to get done and eat. It's such a nice vacation. Unfortunately, mine does not travel anymore.

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JOCKOLEWIS 2/21/2010 7:07AM

    I like alone time. Sometimes I wish we could afford 2 households:) Most of my alone time now is working out or running. Enjoy your week!


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BESSHAILE 2/21/2010 7:03AM

    Horray for the finished kitchen! and enjoy your uncompromised meals. my husband works at home and I go to an office = each night he thinks I've come home just to play with him. The opportunity to be alone in my own house is a rare treasure - Of course, I always encourage him to travel places without me and then miss him like the dickens when he's gone.

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ITSABOUTME2407 2/21/2010 7:01AM

I think it is great to have a partner if its a happy and healthy relationship and yours sounds good
but I am on my 2nd marriage and it is rocky and very miserable was divorced about 1o yrs raising my kids alone was rough but ..I miss being single a lot!!!
but I do understand how good a break must feel ...how long will he be gone?wishing u a great day emoticontrish

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SHEILA1505 2/21/2010 6:20AM

    I used to love it when H1 went away and I had his car and the kids - could cook what, when and how I liked without getting scowls and tantrums. Could go and visit my girl-friends without a curfew and could spend the night in the bathroom doing girly things if I wanted.
I could play my music without having to have headphones on; I could paint a room without being given advice (we were renovating non-stop throughout the 15years - big house & it was our passion); I could read till 3 in the morning or go to bed at the same time as the kids. Once we got TV (1974 in South Africa) I could choose the channel!

Sheer heaven!
Now of course I have been without a SO (should that be SOB) for nearly 15years and the novelty has worn off a bit!

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FITKAT2010 2/21/2010 5:54AM

    I had an ex that traveled for business extensively. I was a different person back then and very clingie. I am a big girl now, LOL

I love living alone and will never change it. Women are truly better off living alone. It makes us face ourself, without the temptation of dependency.

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If you're obssessed with food . . .

Saturday, February 20, 2010

. . . you should talk to your doctor about whether or not you might have an eating disorder.

Let me preface this blog by saying that I know eating disorders are real, that they are very painful, and I am not in any way, shape, or form trying to hurt or anger anyone who has or has had an eating disorder.

Moving on -- I'm parphrasing what the SP Motivational calendar's message was for today. It's upstairs, and I can't be bothered to go back up & retrieve it, but it said things like if you think about food all the time, count calories, etc. you might have an eating disorder.

There is a big difference, in my mind, between disordered eating and having an eating disorder.

Am I obssessed with food? You bet. I love food. All sorts of food. I swoon almost as much for the perfect roasted brussel sprouts as I do for chocolate or my banana "ice cream" (frozen bananas + soymilk + small amount of walnuts).

I don't count calories, but I do count points.

I also know that I do not now, and have never had, an eating disorder. Disordered eating? Absolutely. As a teenager and a college student I had times when I binged. Never planned, never big -- but things like eating a whole 1 lb chocolate bar at a time, an entire box of cookies, an entire box of poptarts. In one sitting.

Those days are so far behind me.

Yet I still struggle, some days. Some days I eat totally healthy and am totally satisfied and am happy with myself. Some days I still struggle with cravings or just plain feel bad about myself. Some days I don't eat as healthy as I planned to, and I'm still okay with my eating and myself.

I'm a work in progress. We all are.

One of the biggest things I've been doing the past couple of months is to really pay attention to how what I eat makes me feel. Did it keep me full? For how long? Did I have lots of energy, or was I dragging or barely able to move? Did it satisfy me?

There are some things that I really enjoy that for the moment I've decided to take a pass on. Because they don't keep me full long enough or give me enough energy.

How I eat today may not be how I eat tomorrow or in 10 years. And that's okay. When we stop evolving, hopefully we're dead! I don't ever want to be stagnant.

How bout you? How have your eating habits changed? How do you WISH your eating habits would change? What baby steps would move you in the direction you want to move in?

I also realized I have another NSV to share. I have a pair of jeans that didn't fit me when we were in Austin. When we moved here, I was able to ear them, altho they were a bit tight. Now they're beginning to be a bit loose (still not falling off my body loose, so I can still wear them without giving myself permission to eat too much!).

I haven't lost a whole lot of weight since moving, but I do have to believe that my body is still changing.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SM-ARTGIRL 2/22/2010 7:49PM

    Inspiring blog! Thanks, I needed to hear that!

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JUSTDUCKY1405 2/22/2010 7:43PM

    Very well thought out blog! I am all for evolution... especially when in the positive direction! I am continually evolving in all aspects of my life. Change use to be something I totally dispised one could say! I still ain't 'perfect' at accepting change, but I have definitely made 'progress' in the right direction, and learning from my mistakes!

I could relate to a lot you said up there, and actually plan on doing a bit of my own blurb on the subject! WOW... I had no idea I was behind again... lol!

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DDHEART 2/20/2010 7:19PM

    I am all about evolution.....of my body, my eating, my lifestyle! Like you I have not had an eating disorder but yes disordered eating and obviously a bit of some dysmorphia or at least I have not always been truly aware of what my body really was like....not enough to cause major problems but I have had the opportunity to look back at picturs now and realize that there were times when I thought I was fat and I was actually....NORMAL. Is this a fault of things said to or about me when I was young?...some of it yes...Is it because our society and fashion dictate an unrealistic image of what a woman's body ought to be?....well I'm sure it affects many of us.

I love old movies....we watch a lot of them and my husband and I often comment on actresses (actors too for that matter) and the obviously different "type" that is seen in the movies. Myrna Loy whom I love was always very witty, attractive, smart....very slim (her natural body type I believe) quite flat chested and slim hipped....that's what that body type looks like without silicone enhancement....have we forgotten in our plastic world that real women have hips for a reason and that for most....a lot of curves naturally requires some body fat? Also have we forgotten that variety makes the world go round? Hair color, skin color, body shape and tendency or not for muscular build....these are the things that help to make our world interesting. Oh, well, I got going here didn't I....Thanks for making me think!

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HEYRED221 2/20/2010 2:47PM

    very thought provoking!

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HEALTH4LYFE 2/20/2010 9:33AM

    I agree with you about us all being a work in progress and the fact that we are constantly changing, hopefully not remaining stagnant.

And much of what you said about how habits have changed since you were younger, I think comes with wisdom, decisions to live healthier and for me, being at a point where I just didn't want to continue living the unhealthy way I was for such a long time. Especially the yo-you dieting.
The change in mentality from "dieting" to lifestyle is HUGE!!
And now, armed with more knowledge about what I need to do and eat to fuel my body and keep it running healthy is largely due to the tools provided by SP.

Congrats on the pants! It is very motivational for me when I try on clothes which didn't fit before and now they either fit or are too big! Keep up the great work. emoticon

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CRAVE_FREE 2/20/2010 9:24AM

    Hmmm, I must be soooo new to SparkPeople that I haven't seen NSV before. Does it stand for N? Small Victory? Whatever it stands for, I'm glad those jeans are loser and you are seeing the change in everyday ways.

I am impressed that you are able to resist those foods that don't keep you full and avoid them. It sounds like you do a great job of keeping tabs on yourself.

I am probably most impressed with how accepting you are of yourself. You said if you don't eat as healthy as planned you're still ok with it and yourself. That is so awesome and amazing (to be redundant). Accepting oneself is the ultimate goal of getting healthy to me. So emoticon you are awe-inspiring to me!

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BESSHAILE 2/20/2010 7:58AM

    what a great NSV!

Like you - my eating has often been counter productive to a healthy life but I am blessed that I don't have an eating disorder. My younger sister exhibited the classic symptoms of anorexia in high school and she says it is always in the background of her life.

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