Thursday, January 28, 2010
It's true. Most days I am happy. I'm happy with how I look. I'm happy with how my clothes fit. I'm happy that I have more energy. This is not one of those days.
It started when it started to snow before I got the dogs out for their walk. I knew light snow was in the forecast, but I'd hoped it would hold off it a bit. And it covered up the icy patches on the road -- I slipped quite a few times, but thankfully didn't fall.
Lola was not listening to me, I was in a rush -- altho not really, since I got us out a bit early -- but Thursdays are always a bit of a time crunch and I got angry at her. She was eating stuff off the ground. I got angry enough so that she refused to walk -- not my most shining moment. I actually yanked on the leash at one point and the poor girl slid on the ice. And then she never did anything the entire walk, probably because of my mood, and that of course made me even angrier. Because I knew I'd be out for several hours.
Went to my meeting, gained a very small amount of weight -- typical for me since TOM is sometime within the next week. But it didn't help my mood.
Went food shopping. Had to go to 2 stores because one of the things I really needed, that the store I went to first used to carry, they apparently no longer carry. Which made me miss Austin and its wonderful grocery stores. Where I could usually get my food shopping done without having to go to 3 different stores.
I stopped at Marshalls, hoping to find a sweater for DH for Valentine's Day, but there's nothing left. I began to fill the need for a treat. I came close to buying some stuff for myself, but in the end decided I really didn't need it and left it there. Next month I'm starting a spending diet. I tracked my spending this month, and hope to cut it by 10% next month.
I have bought a lot of boots & clothes in the past several months. I'd tried to prepare for our move, but after actually being here, I found I needed more fleeces, sweaters, boots, socks, even some long underwear. I probably have mre than I need now, but there was a real need. Remember, I lived in TX for 17 years. So that has skewed my spending somewhat. Still, I know I need to cut back.
I've been having a bit of mental pity party. I had planned to go to a movie last week. There's quite a few I'd like to see. I'd planned to go to one by myself, and then we'd planned to go out on the weekend. I couldn't get out because of the contractors, and we ended up not going out because we were both tired. This week I've been too busy playing catchup with all the chores I couldn't do while the contractors were here.
There are several recipes I've been wanting to try/and/or make, but haven't had the time as I've caught up with my chores. So I'm resenting that I've been prisoner in my own home, when I've already reaped the reward of a much larger, more usable pantry -- how silly is that?
I am such a lucky person. While I worked for a long time, I haven't for the last 4 years. And I am content not working, if not with not bringing in some money of my own. I am so lucky to be married to someone who can support me. While we have certainly economized over the last year, we can still afford to eat out (even tho we've cut back on that, too), we can afford to travel occasionally, we can afford many of the things we want as opposed to the things we need.
I bought myself a dark chocolate peanut butter filled bar. I've been eyeing this in the store for several months now. I haven't eaten it yet. So far I've eaten pretty well today. I brought an apple & peanut butter to my meeting as a snack, along with a Clif bar just in case. I was hungry, so I ate the Clif bar.
I figured I'd come and do a little blogging therapy before deciding whether or not I really want that bar. I think I might. I came really close to just tasting it in the car, but I know that I have a tendency to not record those sorts of tastes, and I decided if I truly wanted it, I would sit down and enjoy it without distractions.
Most of the time I'm satisfied, but lately I've just been disatisfied with life for no real reason. Maybe it's just PMS, but unfortuantely it can trigger some old eating habits.
I know my buddy Ducky is writing her food out the day before. I may have to give that a try. I'm so close to breaking thru, I just know it. It may only take hanging on thru this next week til the hungries die away again.
What do you do when you know you're eating more than you should, but you're really hungry? When you've tried all the usual avoidance tactics and nothing is working?
You know, there should be a little SOS button here somewhere. Press it, and all you lovely SP people spring into action to save me from myself. Only I suppose when it comes down to it, only I can save me from myself.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
They are done for now. They're not real communicative -- they just disappeared yesterday without saying anything. They were going in & out, taking their equipment out, when suddenly I realized no one had come in for about 10 minutes or so. And when I went to look, sure enough they were gone. Without a word.
Leaving me with questions like were they actually done, even tho they'd said they would be? Would my doorbell be ringing unexpectedly again this morning? How long did the pantry need to dry before I could stock it? Were they planning to put anything on the bare shelves, or was that our job?
DH called them later in the evening and got most of the answers (except for the important one of when I could restock the pantry. Men.).
And don't forget that it was only 9 months ago that we moved, and we were living out of boxes, so it was sort of deja vu-ish.
The ceiling looks great. You'd never know walls were removed. There's a couple of small funky things, as to be expected, but nothing major. DH has pointed out a time or two that in the scheme of things, this is a very small rennovation. And I know that that's true. But I pointed out back to him that no one in our family -- with the exception of his sister -- has ever done anything approaching this. My parents have only owned 2 homes their entire lives (this is our 3rd already, which I know for some of you is nothing); my sister now owns her home, which is also her second.
Anyway. Now just have to wait for the cabinets & hope they do a good job with that. And hope they don't come in while my husband is in CA on his business trip, but they probably will.
It all wouldn't have been so bad if I'd just known what was going to happen when.
On the eating front, I'm finding that 1/3 cup of oatmeal instead of 1/2 seems to work just fine. I've been loosely following the flat belly diet, as I have for some time, and it calls for 4 400-calorie meals a day. Only I usually try to make one of my snacks a bit less, because I'm finding I just need something after dinner.
Plus I'm finding I seem to get hungry around 4 pm no matter what I eat. It's probably psychological. I mean yesterday I had a huge salad of romaine, beets, clementines, walnuts, and a little goat cheese with home made salad dressing. At 2:30 pm because I really wasn't hungry for it before. Yet by 4 pm I was hungry. That may just have to do something with pre-TOM tho. It seems I was just blogging about that, but here it is again.
I have been steadily making small changes and shaving points off slowly, but I still find myself going over my points (I'm down to 18) each week. I'm getting closer to staying within them, but I'm not there yet. It's amazing the difference between 19 pts a day and 18. And I use all my WPs, and my APs, so most days I'm eating at least 27 points in reality. I envy those who have points left at the end of the day to use up. I don't know how you do it.
I'm eating a ton of frutis & veggies, lean protein -- well, or fatty protein with the good fats (like peanut butter, which I always measure), whole grains, and yes, still the occasional treat. I'm eating really well. My problem is still just volume, I guess. Something I've always struggled with.
What do you struggle with? What sort of fixes have you come up for in your trouble areas? Sharing helps! You just never know when soemthing you write will really help someone else out.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
And it has nothing to do with my weight. If you don't want to read some whining, go on to someone else's blog.
Yesterday the contractor was only here for a couple of hours. He told me he'd only be here a few hours today, too, and that he wouldn't come until 8:30 because he needed to get his workers started on another job.
7 am and the doorbell rings. I'm not yet dressed -- altho I was just about to get dressed and take the dogs out. DH isn't even up yet. And he refuses to get up! I mean really, it's ok for me to throw a bathrobe on, but he can't?
Apparently he forgot that he told me he wasn't coming til 8:30. But they went away to work an hour at someone else's house, which gave me just enough time to walk the dogs. Since we didn't think they'd be here long today (that's what we were told), I had plans to go grocery shopping and maybe even cook something. Maybe even get to the library. I gotta bust out of here soon!
Last week I went to my meeting a day early, and this whole project was only supposed to take a week & a half tops -- by tomorrow we'll already be at a week & the cabinets won't come for another few weeks at the earliest. So I'm hoping that maybe tomorrow will be it for now. Because I need to get to the food store & to my meeting on Thursday.
Luckily I made a large salad on Sunday, when I thought they'd be here all day Monday, and since they weren't, I ate something else yesterday, so I can grab that today. Unfortunately it has clementines in it, and I've already had a couple, but I guess I'll get my vitamin C in for today.
I haven't been doing jumping jacks every hour like I did on Friday because a) I thought they'd be gone by now and b) it's easier to keep the dogs down here if I'm sitting with them. They're getting as bored as I am.
I know that in the scheme of things, all this whining must seem very petty. I mean, most people have trouble getting their contractors to show up, now getting rid of them!
The biggest problem has been squeezing in my exercise (managing, so far, but it's harder when I've no idea of what the plan is) and that stir crazy feeling.
I had quite a few leftovers lined up for this week, and that's working out well, too, but after tonight I'm pretty much out of them.
This too shall pass. Where there's a will there's a way. Pick your saying of choice.
What's it like out in the real world? What does it feel like to be able to come and go as you please? How do you handle it when your routine is shaken up, and no one tells you ahead of time?
Monday, January 25, 2010
I don't actually eat protein bars all that often, but boy, I swear, I must've tried every single one out there. Long before this weight loss journey of mine started, I've always had some kind of protein bar around.
What I've deemed to eat has really changed over the years. It used to be highly processed bars like Balance Bars. You know, the ones that taste like candy? I used to really think that my life would be complete if only I could eat a Snickers bar every week. While I still love the taste of a Snickers bar (if not the ingredients), I no longer crave them. Mostly these days I crave real food -- it might be sweets, but it's usually some of my home made goodies or some real chocolate.
And now the bars I eat on a regular basis are much less processed. Much less sweet. And so much more satisfying. Larabars. Pure bars. Clif Nectar bars.
Yet I'm always on the lookout for new ones, still. I love Angela's Glo Bar -- you can get to her online store from her blog, www.ohsheglows.com . She has an amazing new smores flavor. Yes, I've already ordered them, taste unknown. I'm sure they won't disappoint.
Bars are convenient. They keep well (altho some of them are so full of preservatives -- that's why the keep so well). They're great to stash in your purse (I always have a couple in there) and they're great when you travel and never know what you might get.
I make my own Larabars, too. And sometimes my own granola bars. Yet, I'm always looking for that next great bar. Kind of like a heroin addict. I suppose it's a somewhat healthy addiction as long as I only eat them occasionally. Unlike an alcoholic, you really can have only one bar, and not even one every day.
Never forget that even the most healthy bar won't replace say an apple and some peanut butter. Carrots and some hummus. These things will most likely keep you feeling fuller, longer -- which is why it's a good idea to limit your bar consumption.
How about you? Do you use protein bars? Have a favorite? Never touch the stuff? Do you have a bar that isn't very processed with few ingredients that I just have to know about?
On the contractor front, as I said, they're only supposed to be here a couple of hours today and the next couple of days, altho they do tend to underestimate. The rewiring has been down, the pantry has been built but still needs shelves. They've got to sand the ceiling patch and repaint it, finish the door to the pantry, and put in the shelves.
The actual cabinets won't be here for about a month, unfortunately right around the time that DH will be on a long business trip (to CA, no less -- I'm hoping we don't have our monster snow storms then).
I'll be happy when I have the pantry back and I'm not living out of bags & boxes anymore. It makes making anything take double the time because I have to hunt down the ingredients.
I'm especially happy they won't be here full days, as it allows me to get some stuff done, and the cats don't have to be confined for hours. They'd already busted thru the modification DH made to the bifold door late on Friday. That's part of why I'm so stuck -- I try to keep an eye out that they haven't gotten loose, and if I hadn't been there Friday, they would have. The contractors had left, but I had the doors to the deck open to air out the place. DH has made a new modification that will hopefully work better.
We're going to keep the dogs at home, and see how that goes.
It's moving along, and it's going to be great!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
I have been taking a serious look at my food logs, trying to figure out where I can cut out some food. Because that's what I believe I need to do: as you get smaller, you really do have to eat less.
Plateaus often happen because we get sort of stuck in a rut and lax with our eating (and/or exercise). That may have started my plateau, but in the last few weeks I've been doing my best to really be aware of what I'm eating. Sure, there are a few lapses here and there, but overall, I've made sure that I'm getting in good nutrition.
So after reviewing my food log, I came up with just a couple of ideas:
1. Lower my carbs just a bit. To that end, yesterday's oatmeal was 1/3 cup, not 1/2 cup. When I have an ezekiel muffin with peanut butter, I'll only use half the muffin. I was only going to use half a bun for my raw veggie burger, but that just really didn't work.
2. Try to stick to lower calorie fruits. I love bananas, but for now, I'll eat less (notice I won't cut them out altogether) of them. Stick more with kiwis, clementines, apples. Things that really fill me up.
Those are my tweaks for now. I'll give it several weeks to see what happens, because I'm also in pre-TOM territory so it's anyone's guess what is really happening.
The one thing I'm really struggling with at the moment is still wanting a treat after dinner. And not really having the points/calories for it. Other than that, I've made my little tweaks, I've really been pushing both fruit and veggies -- with the upside of feeling much more satisfied than I have in a while. And I will continue to review my food log.
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