Monday, December 14, 2009
I used to be the person to bring in desserts. I'd start baking cookies in the summer, freeze them, and then bring in a huge tin to work, and send another huge tin in with my husband. It was my thing. I don't do that any more.
However, when I asked my husband if he'd like some cookies to bring in for work, he said sure. I started off with some raw cookies. Raw cookies are so easy, and so good! And he likes them. Wonders of wonders. Plus he has a co-worker with celiac disease (no gluten). I have no trouble just eating one or two raw cookies at most, so they're no problem to have around.
I have several leftover batches of cookies in the freezer (uncooked -- that way I can always have warm cookies when the urge hits, but the urge hadn't hit in a long time), so I baked up most of those yesterday -- a few chocolate chip and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. Didn't even feel the urge to eat them, because I already knew how they tasted.
I made up some chocolate covered peanut butter balls on Saturday, and froze them. They got me in a little bit of trouble because I had more filling than cookie dough. I got into a little bit, but not too bad. You'd think I'd learn by now that sugar on an empty stomach gives me a headache, but no. The call of peanut butter (especially peanut butter with sugar & chocolate chips) is apparently still too strong. I did, however, have a very healthy eating day and was actually pretty low on points (by design), so I'm not particularly worried about it.
I made up some chocolate chocolate chip spice cookies yesterday, baked them, baked the peanut butter chocolate balls, and had one of each -- by plan. Sooooooo good. I had planned to make some brownies, too, but decided I was too tired and he had enough to bring, anyway.
All the cookies are vegan. I want to show people that vegan baking can be awesome! That was the main reason I wanted to make the brownies. But it doesn't mean that vegan baking is always healthy, either. The chocolate chocolate chip spice cookies were pretty healthy, but those peanut butter chocolate balls definitely weren't!
I will send all the cookies off with DH today, and he has strict orders not to bring any home. He assures me it won't be a problem.
We might go to my parents this weekend, if I can convince him. They will be leaving for CA at the end of the month. They spend the winter there. All he does these days is rant about how little time he has. He has been a real bear to live with, frankly, and I can't say I'm really looking forward to having him home for the week between Christmas and New Year's at this point.
Friday, December 11, 2009
It isn't easy. At least not for me. I'm the type who can't follow an eating plan to save my soul -- it's not that I can't eat healthy, it's that I have to come up with my own plan. Because food is important to me. As I wrote on a spark buddy's blog, it should be both fuel AND pleasure, but not comfort or pain killer.
I pull from many sources. I'm a wannabe vegetarian (except for sushi) who has to cook for a carnivore. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy meat, and I actually don't think it's wrong to eat animals despite my deep love of animals. But I do believe that the way most meat is raised in this country is absolutely shameful. I also believe that you are what you eat, and who wants to consume something that never gets to feel the sun or wind, and can barely move?
So I eat a lot of vegetarian food. Sometimes vegan. Lately I've been dabbling in more raw, too. It's funny, because I feed my animals raw food. And I advised a spark buddy against going all raw due to its high level of fat.
I very much doubt that I'd ever become completely raw (there's DH, for one thing, and it's time consuming, for another). I'm still a bit on the fence whether all those seeds and nuts are truly healthy -- I know they're healthy in moderation, but there seems to be an awful lot in most raw foods. Plus I'd miss holding a steaming bowl of oatmeal on these frigid mornings, or consuming a warming bowl of soup after shoveling the driveway.
As I've blogged earlier, I dabbled a bit in prepared raw food from farmer's markets and Whole Foods when I lived in Austin. And it was always delicious. I hadn't found a raw cookbook I really like; most involved a lot of dehydration, and the few dehydrated raw foods I tried I didn't like. But lately I've found more that don't rely so heavily on dehydration, and I've been experimenting.
Yesterday I made a live gardenburger. Basically, it's vegetable pate, but boy, it was soooooooo good. I went to my WW meeting, then to the mall, and had brought the gardenburger with me (on a whole wheat bun, which I suppose negates the whole raw thing, but there ya go). I ate half before shopping. It was easy to resist the pretzel stores again, and frankly, it tided me over easily til I got home much later than I normally eat lunch -- when I consumed the other half with an apple.
Or maybe it was just the fact that TOM started. My appetite spikes seriously about a week before TOM, then drops like a rock during. Thank God! But I don't really enjoy that roller coaster ride of hormones.
Now here's a raw recipe that's yummy (DH has been eating a lot of these -- that says a lot), and so easy. If you like chocolate, and can control yourself to one of two, you must try these: chocolatecoveredkatie.com/chocolate-
covered-recipes/fudge-baby-mania . So far I've just tried the fudge babies (there's only cocoa in them, no real chocolate, altho I threw in a few chocolate chips. I'm not so sure they really added much to it, altho my husband thinks they did).
And I wanted to share a few pictures before I go.
Here's what Chester does when I go out and he's left with DH.
Yup, he just lays on top of the couch (where he's normally not allowed, it's cat territory) and watches out the window for my return.
And here's how Simba likes to spend his mornings, altho you can replace my husband with me usually.
If he had his druthers, he'd just camp out there all day long. Right now he's behind my butt as I type. He never used to do this, but now that the weather is so cold, he's become a real heat seeking missile. And being a big boy, he makes it difficult to get stuff done sometimes!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Last night was my husband's office holiday party. Even tho we got somewhere around 5-6 inches of snow that morning, and DH stayed home from work, we still went. Luckily most of the food wasn't terribly exciting. I had raw veggies for appetizers, with just a few small shrimp.
We weren't told there was dinner, but there was. They had meatballs with ziti. I took a couple of meatballs, some ziti, and filled the rest of my plate with veggies. So lots & lots of veggies.
As we were sitting chatting after dinner, I noticed a line forming on the other side of the room. Eventually my husband noticed my stare -- I thought it might be dessert, and sure enough it was. Apparently I can laser in on dessert from just about anywhere in the room. They had cheesecakes, cream pies, and a chocolate layer cake. I took one small slice of the layer cake, which was good, and left a few bites on my plate.
I was fairly pleased with how I ate. I totally ignored the eggrolls and the bacon wrapped scallops and the cheeses.
I'd also used my treadmill in the morning, being unsure if I'd be able to get the dogs out for a walk (we did get out for a short one in the afternoon). I did a 5 minute walking warmup, then ran for 40 minutes at 4.1 mph (see, I told you I'm slow!), and walked for another 10 minutes, then cooled down.
I can actually run faster, but I can't sustain it for that long, and once a week I like to try and do a "long" run. It also looks like my first outdoor run will also be my last one for quite some time. No one told mother nature that winter hasn't started yet.
They had a white elephant at the party. My husband decided to participate, and wanted to know if we had any wrapping paper about an hour before we left. Nothing like advance notice. Luckily I was able to come up with something. We ended up with a gift bag of Godiva chocolates (personally I wanted the giftcards to local bookstores, but apparently it wasn't in the cards. Get it?).
And then everyone got a gift bag of a bottle of wine (I don't drink -- sorry, wish I could send it thru the computer to those who do!), summer sausage (I won't touch it, but DH loves it), cheese, crackers, and yup, more chocolate!
I'm pretty sure I'll be able to handle all the chocolate without a problem. It isn't really all that much. I gave DH the chocolate covered raisins to take in to work. We'll split the truffles. Then there's hot chocolate & a dark chocolate covered pretzel (that one's mine!), and none of them are that bad.
Last week was my big experiment eating normally before my WI. And remember I gained 1.2 lbs. And I continued with the experiment this week, altho I did go back to my normal WI jeans. I gained .2 pounds, altho I'm fairly sure that's due to clothes. Last week was unseasonable warm so I could dress lighter, but today is cold and I was wearing a turtleneck & a cardigan. Plus TOM started.
So as long as I keep focused this week, I'm really hoping to go back down next week. Which won't break my plateau, but at least it will get me in the right direction again. I'd love to just steadily lose. If I did, I'd be done a long time ago. But one of the most important things to me on this journey is to develop a balanced relationship with food -- at least most of the time! -- and I felt that was beginning to slip away from me.
I had more to say today, but I think this is getting long enough so I'll save it for tomorrow, especially since I haven't been getting a whole lot of blog topic ideas lately.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
I've been thinking about this one a lot lately. What do I deserve? Do I deserve a body that's tired all the time? That won't fit into the clothes I own? Do I deserve thighs that rub together?
Do I deserve a cookie because I've run? Do I deserve some chocolate because I want it? Do I deserve comfort foods because it's cold and snowy outside, even tho the calendar says it's still fall?
I know sometimes I feel like I deserve food; like I've earned it. Or maybe I just want it. The truth is I can't eat whatever I like, whenever or I gain weight. I've got a big appetite for a little girl! Boy, you should have seen my plate yesterday -- it was even one of the big dinner plates, because I needed it to hold all that food! But it was a healthy dinner: vegan stuffed shells, roasted cauliflower, and roasted butternut squash. Actually, that was a pretty healthy meal, after a healthy day of eating, and I don't regret it.
Nor do I regret not getting a pretzel at the mall. I did think about it. I'd already eaten before going (thank God -- never shop on an empty stomach, even if you're not going food shopping -- there's always too much temptation everywhere!) -- but that pretzel was still calling my name. Only I believe that I deserve to get to my goal weight. And right now, that pretzel won't help me get there.
So next time you reach for that cookie, those chips, or whatever your drug of choice may be, think hard about what you deserve.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
A belief that they can, of course! Our thoughts are so powerful -- believe that you can, and you will. That doesn't mean you don't have to put in the work, but if you don't believe in yourself, I promise you, it won't happen.
I've blogged about this before. Recently I read one of Jayne Williams' books, on the recommendation of a spark buddy. And she mentioned something that never even occurred to me -- using affirmations for your chosen form of exercise. I sort of knew this, I blogged a long time ago about using a mantra. Mantra, affirmation -- sort of the same thing.
But Williams recommended using them specifically for training for an event. Well, light bulb moment!
I just recently started writing affirmations every morning. I've been working with these:
I have a happy, slender body
I have the perfect living space
My home is a peaceful haven
I also started visiting www.louisehay.com/affirmations/index
.php , and leaving that tab open, looking at it several times a day.
When I googled "running affirmations", I came up with lots of sites! I definitely enjoyed some of the affirmations on this page: www.trifuel.com/triathlon/run/affirm
For now, I've simply added "I enjoy running" to my morning affirmations. It's okay if you feel silly writing these or saying them out loud. The truth is, you don't even have to really believe. Just practicing affirmations over and over has a way of sinking them into your subconscious, and before you know it, you're changing.
What affirmation are you going to start using?
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