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Sometimes you feel like an exerciser, sometimes you don't.

Monday, March 21, 2011

I definitely get myself into trouble (that all or nothing perspective where you really can't win for more than a day if you're honest with yourself), when I stop feeling like exercising. It would be one thing if I was 100 lbs over weight. 40 lbs isn't nothing, for sure that's still pretty significant. But the problem is that it's like my form of burn-out. I have maybe just a short attention span, but I've never been able to stick with one type of exercise for long. My longest streak of running on a semi-regular basis over the last 5+ years has been maybe 3 months at a time, at best. That's it. I've never kept it up longer than that. That's my longest record too. I have videos and aerobics and yoga and strength training and stair climbing and elliptical machines and walking and etc etc all under my belt for brief periods. I pretty much always come back to something.

In my happy new place I've come to mentally, it occurs to me this morning that this won't be the last time. In fact, this is a part of me, and so will surely be a part of my journey that I have to deal with. I have two options, I can try to force myself into exercising when I just don't want to knowing that whether I make myself do it or not I'll actually feel like doing it again soon enough. Or, I can accept that for now (however long now is) I could just be a dieter, not an exerciser. Not that I will abstain from physical activity, but I could just seek it out in my everyday of chasing children. Here's the key thing though:

I could make the conscientious effort to compensate for my break in seeking regular exercise by being on top of my eating, and even be a bit under my goal calories in order to stay on track with losing weight.

That's what I'm going to do. Who's to say that tomorrow I won't be running in the morning. I simply feel like I need to find a way to still be successful without exercising because I know myself and I know that I'm just not always going to be an exerciser. In fact I know for sure that I am going to wax and wane on that, and I rather like that part of my personality to be honest with you. So I'd like to learn how to make it work for me. I'll let you know how it goes.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ERINMCGEE 3/24/2011 11:11AM

    Hey Jessi,
so i'm going to have agree with what was said above in that i really feel you shouldn't give up formal exercise. i can completely understand about getting burned out from one thing or another so perhaps you could try something new say every 2 weeks? for me thats usu. how long it takes for me to lose interest but there are lots of different forms of exercise out there and you should never have to feel bored. i think angela's idea of starting a streak would help a lot. and again it doesn't have to be intense exercise every time, just a little bit to stay focused and on the right track. i've fallen into that mode where exercise was put on the back burner and honestly it's never worked. exercise does so much for you whether you're trying to lose or not. just think how wonderful you feel after a nice sweaty workout. that feeling is telling you that you are doing something right. i really don't want to see you fall into a rut because you've become bored with your routine. when it comes down to it, you just have to do it. as angela said, no excuses! you've made a commitment to yourself so don't give up on it yet, you can do it! we are here for you and will support you through your journey so take advantage of that and give us everything you've got!

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ALONELYLIONESS 3/23/2011 8:43PM

    Oh, and if you add me as a friend I'll know when you've posted a blog. Thanks! I added you already.

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ALONELYLIONESS 3/23/2011 8:43PM

    Jessie,

In my humble opinion, I don't think you should stop exercising. I used to have to talk myself into it constantly and i spent a good portion of the day trying to put it off. Something changed for me last December though. I made a deal with myself to exercise every day in December. Just one month of no excuses, no negotiations, just do it attitude. Now granted every day was completely different in that sometimes I'd workout long and hard, and some days all I could manage was a slow walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes. But something clicked for me that month and now I can't wait to exercise. I'm thinking that could happen for you too if you try the 30 day streak. Just go easy on yourself....it doesn't have to be a run all the time. Just do something. It helps you stay on track with food too.

So there's one thought. Another is agreement with Wonderwoman that exercise is important to your health independant from weight loss aspects. Good for every organ and system in your body and helps prevent disease and bone loss.

Maybe just aim for 3 times a week and put it in your schedule. That's a reasonable amount for maintenance/health down the road too. Anyway, I don't think you should give up on it yet. You might surprise yourself and become an exercise person down the road. Chasing kids is great exercise too though....I'm sure you're plenty active.

Well, there's my 2 cents and tough love :-)

Angela



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WONDERWOMAN 3/21/2011 8:13PM

    OK Jessie, a little tough love coming your way. Maybe I'm misreading your post, but it sounds a little like you're giving up kinda easily. I'm not saying go out there and run full force every day, but do keep moving. If you don't feel like running, go for a walk, a bike ride, a swim, just dance like a silly girl. Yes, it is very important to get your eating into a good routine, but it is also important for your health to have activity.

Trust me, I know. I was you all my life. It took turning 50 a couple years ago to realize it was important to my health to do this. A friend recently asked me how long it took me to *like* running. My honest answer was "two years!" Seriously!

Stick with us girl! One way or another....remember, what I write is only my opinion.
emoticon Sue

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Week 3

Sunday, March 20, 2011

This week has mentally been pretty awesome for me. I'm in just about the best place. I was sick this passed week for the first half and though I'm still a bit snorky I feel better, but then I got my period. So I've been placing high hopes on tomorrow (Monday) morning. I happened to find my pedometer this evening so I'm going to try to remember to wear it and make the most of my steps during the week days again. All in all I managed to get in one cardio this week and that's it for exercise. So not too stellar. Food-wise I has 3 days at about 2,000 cal, one of which was 2,200. I was on point for 2 days for calories, the other 2 days I was over by less than 100. So it wasn't terrible. Not like last Saturday where I had 3,000 calories. meep! So anyway, today I made cookies for a work thing tomorrow, it was fun and I'm glad I made them but I'm leaving almost all of them at work. I need to just not be around sweets to get them out of my system. I was like that quitting smoking too I remember. There was a point where I just knew I wasn't strong enough to throw my cigarettes out and have none. Then I was strong enough for that but not strong enough to not bum a smoke if someone near me was, so I had to avoid smokers which was another thing I had to work up to doing. Me and the baked goods are the same way, but with a far longer battle ;) So today I had more than half my calorie from cookies, and my belly hurts so yes I'm feeling guilt emotionally and physically lol I will deposit them and leave them out of my sight (and therefore for me out of my mind) tomorrow morning first thing my dears.

Let's see how I did this week on my goals...

1. Treadmill 3x/wk (MWF) 30+ min, 6+ mi./wk:
1/3 :(

2. 10,000 steps/day (M-F)
still hadn't found my pedometer... :(

3. Strength training 2+x/wk
0/2 :(

4. Yoga 3+ sets every day
0/7 :(

5. Track all calories every day
7/7 :)

6. Days within calorie range:
2/7 :| last week was 3, so that's a bit of a backslide. However this week I had 2 good days and 2 days that were thisclose to being good. So I'm taking that as progress too. :)

7. General Cardio M-F
bootcamp video 0/5 days :(

Goals for Week 3:
1. be within calorie range more than 3 days this week: no check
2. at least stick to doing yoga every day: no check
3. keep up the good work on my running: no check

bummer... Okay. So. Goals for this week!

Goals for Week 4:
1. be within calorie range more than 4 days this week:
2. do at least one exercise activity Monday-Saturday:
3. get back to running:

Overall Progress Summary:
Week 1: 2 :), 3 :|, 2 :(
Week 2: 1 :), 1 :|, 5 :(
Week 3: 1 :), 1 :|, 5 :( I"m noticing a bad trend here... I need less :( faces...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WONDERWOMAN 3/20/2011 10:33PM

    emoticon

Here's a virtual cookie for you. Even though they don't taste as good, they are far better for you. You sound good - in a good place. Have a great week.
Sue emoticon

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Progress

Saturday, March 19, 2011

It took me ... 10 years? to quit smoking. It took so long to make that life style change. I tried again and again and just remained a smoker. I learned a lot about myself in the process. I learned about my own habits and what drives me. I learned to be patient with myself. I learned that I can succeed this time even if I didn't last time. I learned that change takes time.

I evolved from being a smoker to being a runner. It took about the same amount of time for me to feel like a runner. Even though I don't run every day, or even every day that I think I ought to or want to, I still have come to identify myself as a runner. I still envy the muscled and toned bodies I see running on the road or on tv, and I'm not nearly there yet. "Yet" is important. I have a long way to go, and I'm going. If it were short and easy it wouldn't be worthwhile.

I'm proud and at peace to say that I've come to have the perspective on my weight-loss journey that is similar to that of quitting smoking and becoming a runner. It's going to take a long time to get fit and not flabby. It's going to be hard. I'm not going to be doing it every day, or even every day that I think I ought to or want to. I will be patient.

And just like being a runner even if I don't always act like it, I am making myself better and reaching my weight-loss goals even if I'm not always being perfect. In fact, occasionally I still think how nice it would be to have a cigarette and enjoy it, just like occasionally I would rather do anything rather than run. Even once I succeed in my goals I'll still forever be reaching them.

So I've stopped looking for the end marker in this journey, and have begun just looking around and enjoying it instead. It's going to be a long life of making the most of myself, and I'm looking forward to it.

  
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MAMASALLYSOCKS 3/20/2011 1:47PM

    Awesome! I got smart and quit smoking also about 10 years!

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Week 2

Sunday, March 13, 2011

So on Sunday I was being a bit lazy. On Monday I woke up with a stomach bug so I didn't workout all day. Tuesday I felt a bit better but exhausted. So Wednesday morning I ran and it was super awesome. By Wednesday night I was excited to run with my husband the next night after work and start that good trend. But Thursday morning I woke up feeling like death warmed over. So I just made it through the day as best I could. It was one of my coworker's last day and I made donuts Wednesday night and I admit that's pretty much all I ate on Thursday. I still managed to stay within my calories but let's just say I'm not too proud of my nutrition that day. meep... Anyway. I felt utterly miserable Friday and Saturday and had absolutely no energy. I just felt awful and pathetic because I felt so weak. I feel like I was eating extra food I didn't need to eat in an effort to get more energy and feel better. So Friday and Saturday I was way over my calories for the day. I didn't track Friday until bed time so I wasn't making myself aware of my totals all day, and for Saturday I didn't put anything in until this morning. So today I've already put in my food and will do it throughout the day in an effort to be more aware so I don't overeat today since I still feel sick.

Hopefully I feel better soon. I'd like to get back to exercising but I'm really happy and far less stressed to have come around to the perspective that being sick or having a couple of bad food days, doesn't mean I've fallen off the wagon. It doesn't mean I suck at this. It doesn't mean I'm failing here. It just means I'm human. I'm just like everyone else here - trying my best and as long as I do stick with it and don't abandon my goals, then I will reach them.

Here's my progress for the week:

1. Treadmill 3x/wk (MWF) 30+ min, 6+ mi./wk:
1/3 :(

2. 10,000 steps/day (M-F)
still haven't found my pedometer...

3. Strength training 2+x/wk
0/2 :(

4. Yoga 3+ sets every day
0/7 :(

5. Track all calories every day
7/7 :)
Days within calorie range:
3/7 :| hooray for progress!! That's 2 more days than last week. Plus one of my off days I only had half my calories and another I was only over by 1 calorie ;) So that's 5/7 days of not overeating :D

General Cardio M-F
bootcamp video 0/5 days

Goals for Week 2:
1. be within calorie range more than 1 day this week: check!
2. at least stick to doing yoga every day: not so check...
3. keep up the good work on my running: yes when I wasn't feeling to sick so kind of check

Goals for Week 3:
1. be within calorie range more than 3 days this week
2. at least stick to doing yoga every day
3. keep up the good work on my running

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WONDERWOMAN 3/13/2011 10:55PM

    Hey Human.....you did pretty good considering the illness. The most important is that you realize none of this is the end. Just a bump in the road.

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Days 5-7 ;)

Sunday, March 06, 2011

Thanks for the poke Wonderwoman. I have been active, just a lazy poster.

Thursday was a good day, I didn't get any exercise in. One of my goals is 10 min a day of something, I was aiming for yoga. I still am.

I've learned over the years that I have a habit of being super gung-ho about changing my habits, then it's just too high maintenance for me to keep up all those changes at once so then they all fall by the wayside. So I strive for multiple changes, but I have learned to be sure I am doing the most important one successfully regardless of the rest. Once that's easier, then I focus on a second big one while maintaining the first. This works for me long term.

Anyway, I ran 3 days this week. I am super proud of that.

Thu night I told a group here that I would run Fri morning come hell or high water. As I recall it felt like both. I couldn't pep talk myself into going, I eventually made myself just put on my workout clothes and it was like a lovely magic trick (picture Micky making the brooms carry the water) once I had my clothes on I couldn't do anything but walk over to the gym.

I ran 11 run intervals. 11!! I've only ever done 10 before since I've been doing intervals. My running routine is to start with a 2 minute walk, then it's 1:30 run followed by 1:30 walk. My goal is to minimize the walk interval times until I'm just running. I was originally increasing the run times every week but I did it too fast and as I say above, I couldn't keep up. It got really hard. So Friday for me to do 11 was awesome. I made it to 2.5 miles which is also the longest run I've done in a long while. I did a HM once, it was super hard. I didn't run for a long while after that. It was one of those things where I felt like I've met my goal, so why keep trying?

I am so simply that person. Once I reach the goal I quit working for it. My sister too. That's why (even if it was because she was sick) she lost 2 of the 6 lbs she's after in I think our first or second day of this (being early last week) and then she was off the wagon all week. Now that she's gained those two lbs back she's posting again. Not so good for supporting me, but it is good motivation in that this is about the long term, not about meeting that first milestone of losing the weight. It's about keeping it off and maintaining those lifestyle changes that got it off.

So the running is my big lifestyle goal to change. Then, in my perspective of biggest challenges i.e. highest level of effort to maintain, the next goal is to do a little something every day. At that point I'll have 3/7 days accounted for easily enough so I'm half way to my second goal just by accomplishing the first one.

I should do some yoga today. I read all day yesterday. I had munchie things basically of the cheese and cracker variety yesterday around lunch time and I think I haven't been eating a lot of bread stuff lately because I was full for the whole day basically. So I'm hungry now but I haven't got to breakfast yet.

I have to log my calories for yesterday and ... I think I logged Friday? I better go check before it's all out of my head. I had a very super busy end to my week and have just been to exhausted for details. Instead I have been reading.

Yoga today though. It's sunday. It's a brand new week. What better way to set the tone than to do 10 min today?

Let's see, how did i do for week 1? I think I'll put in my calories and exercise and then take a look at the calendar summary. Then I'll finish this post... un momento por favor...

Okay! Drum roll please...
Here are the goals I set for myself on my sparkpage and the number of days I met my goals in week 1:
1. Treadmill 3x/wk (MWF) 30+ min, 6+ mi./wk:
3/3 :D

2. 10,000 steps/day (M-F)
tracked 2/7 days, forgot to wear pedometer other days; so of 2 days (both were running days):
(can't find my pedometer at the moment) ave. 9000 steps each day :|

3. Strength training 2+x/wk
1/2 :|

4. Yoga 3+ sets every day
4/7 :|

5. Track all calories every day
7/7 :)
Days within calorie range:
1/7 :( meep!

General Cardio M-F
bootcamp video 3/5 days
So, in summary, haha I eat too much, and I got tired at the end of the week and petered out.

Goals for this week:
1. be within calorie range more than 1 day this week ;)
2. at least stick to doing yoga every day
3. keep up the good work on my running :)

Onto Week 2!! :D

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JERSEYFLOWER 3/6/2011 2:26PM

    It does take some time to transform your mentality and approach. All or nothing, diet mentality, giving up, losing momentum - those are all things that are going to be in your past. It takes time to practice this new approach and time to really own it! (btw, have you read The Spark? very helpful)

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WONDERWOMAN 3/6/2011 12:01PM

    Hey, glad I could help. emoticon
You are so right in that this is small, incremental steps and LONG-TERM LIFESTYLE changes. Take it easy, make progress a little at a time, and it will be a full-out victory for you and your body in the end.
You are doing GREAT! emoticon

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