Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Lately I've been feeling like this is NEVER GOING TO END.
I feel like I have been on a diet for a thousand years, and this weekend I realized something needed to change.
I've had more cheat days in the past two months then I did from January to May of last year all together. Clearly something about my plan isn't working anymore if I can't go more than a week without pigging out. And so yesterday, on a long drive home from a doctors appointment, I decided that if I cannot show self control like an adult, maybe I need to treat myself like a child!
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL MOTIVATIONAL TECHNIQUES!
Yesterday I spent 3 hours making this elaborate calendar/star chart.
For the month of March my goals are to eat in my calorie range 7 days a week, and workout at least 5 days a week. At the end of the week if I have at least 12 total stars for that week, I earn one more! (The bottom 2 goals do not earn stars, but I figured if it's going to be hanging on the wall everyday, I could always use an extra reminder!)
At the end of the month I have point brackets which earn me prizes based on how well I did. I've never been the type to reward myself because being a lower weight has always worked in the past, but I figured a little incentive couldn't hurt!
Unfortunately I am completely broke, and even when I do have money, I always tell myself "I don't really need it" and end up saving. So far, I have come up with a few inexpensive ideas though:
- New song or app
- A new ingredient or spice to make a special healthy recipe
- New measuring spoons/cups
- Flowers or a plant
I'd really like to avoid buying clothing, because if I haven't changed a size by the end of the month it might depress me, and I'd rather wait until I'm closer to my goal weight so I can wear the clothes for more than a month.
So here's where I need your help!
What do you guys do to reward yourself? I hope everyone is having a great week so far!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
The scale almost learned to fly this morning. Out the window, that is.
After two weeks of eating in my range every single day, and working out 6 days a week, I have lost a grand total of:
This morning I weighed in giddy with anticipation only to see the scale had moved from 160.6 to 161.6. Fantastic.
And so, knowing this to be an impossibility, I tried again.
My scale is clearly on a suicide mission. I guess I can't really blame it considering it has to hold me up every week, and I'm obviously not getting any skinnier.
All jokes aside (big fake smile plastered on my face), I have NO IDEA what is going on.
Last year I dropped 40 lbs. working out maybe 4 days a week and counting about 6 days.
My only thought is that perhaps my thyroid hormones are still all wonky from the cancer situation. I have a doctors appointment on Wednesday to see the results of my most recent blood work, so I guess I'll see then. I was so pumped to go in and show my doctor that I had managed to drop weight and that I must be getting better.
If my hormone levels are fine, then I guess I'll have to start making some changes with my diet/exercise. Right now I eat between 1200-1550 calories a day (usually around 1300), and last week I burned 2908 calories. According to my calorie differential I should have lost 1.9 pounds. I'm pretty sure I haven't lost any inches because it's only been two weeks.
Any advice is appreciated.
Monday, January 02, 2012
Spark people can be a great motivator. One of my favorite things to do on here is look at the motivational spark pages and admire the amazing weight loss that I hope someday to achieve. Before and after pictures are always fun to marvel at, until I see the caption.
Before: God I looked so disgusting and fat. I was so gross. Starting weight: 140 lbs.
I nearly cried the day the scale said 155lbs, a weight I hadn't seen since 6th grade. I didn't think I looked gross. I was so excited to have a 30 inch waist, I thought I looked fantastic. And then I stumble upon your blog and realize that to you, I'm about 15 lbs past disgusting.
Not exactly motivating.
So please, please, please, keep the comments to yourself. I know these pictures and comments are for you, but there's no way that saying things like that is going to help you or any one else who comes to your page looking for motivation.
Your starting weight may be my goal weight, so please, don't call yourself fat.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
I haven't been on Spark in a longggg time. I remember when I was so devoted to using it everyday, I used to feel sad for the people who suddenly disappeared. Then I became one of them. Although I stopped strictly counting my calories around the end of May, I still managed to drop another five pounds and maintain my weight. In August I transferred colleges and left home to live on campus. About 3-4 weeks into the semester I noticed a large lump protruding from the left side of my neck. Assuming it was just a swollen lymph node due to something viral, I put off having it checked out. After a couple weeks had past I went to the health center at school where the nurses sent me to the hospital for several tests, and eventually to an ENT who performed a biopsy and determined I had thyroid cancer which had spread into my lymph nodes. The doctor recommended I come home for the semester to deal with surgeries and treatments. On October 25th I had my entire thyroid and several of the lymph nodes in my neck removed. I was in the hospital for a week due to complications, and when I finally was released, I was only home for about 2 days before I was admitted again with a kidney infection. After being released (again) I came home and crashed. My hormones were going crazy. I would have days where I couldn't even look at food and had to be forced to eat, and the next day I couldn't get enough. I would nap for hours during the day and then still fall asleep before 8. Needless to say, some of the weight has crept back on. I recently received my first (and hopefully only) radioactive iodine treatment, which forced me to be in "isolation" for a week. My follow-up scan yesterday showed that the radiation is doing its job, and I should be cancer free when I have my next scan in 6 months.
I've been living in this little medical bubble for 2 months now. I am planning on taking next semester off too, and really putting some thought into what I want to do with my life (the thing I was most focused on before leaving school). I need to start looking for a job. I need to look at this experience as a second chance at life. Somehow, I need to find a way to assimilate back into life. I did my first workout in months today, 30 minutes on the elliptical. My lungs and legs were feeling it. I went slower than I usually do, but I am soooo glad I didn't stop. I haven't dared to weigh myself yet, but I think tomorrow morning might be the right time. This time I want to finish it, not just get half way. I have to get myself moving again, and just keep believing that this is all happening for a reason. Now is the time to find out just what that reason is.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Today is my last day of finals, and then I'll have my associates degree and be done with junior college. I've lost 33 lbs, which is 3 away from my half-way goal. And despite my extreme lack of exercise and terrible eating habits, I've still managed to lose about a pound a week.
I should be happy, and I'm trying to think of these things as good, but I really feel myself losing grip.
I've stopped exercising almost entirely. I'm at the point where I don't even think of exercising. I'm hoping this will change in a couple days when the semester is over.
In the past when I've stopped exercising for long periods of time, I have at least been diligent in counting my calories. However, I no longer have internet (other than on my phone), so I don't see the constant reminder to count. I have the app on my phone, but it doesn't seem to keep me consistent like having access to the full site, where I can talk to other people and constantly review my progress.
I cannot believe I have let myself start to veer off the track after more than four months devoted to my weight loss.
So now I'm just trying to find a new way to keep myself motivated and on track, other than constantly interacting with spark.
Sorry to anyone who has tried to contact me in that past few week, I usually only get on once a week to enter my weight in a challenge post.
Like always, any advice is appreciated.
Hope everyone else is doing well.
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