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The Binge Outfit...

Thursday, November 17, 2011

This is a subject that I have never seen discussed, but I know that (unfortunately) many of you can identify with.

Let's set the scene:
It's Friday night. I missed my workout in the morning since the power went out the night prior, and I forgot that the emergency back up battery probably needed to be replaced about 2 years ago. Oopsies.
Work was crazy, and I wasn't feeling so great anyway (missing those much needed endorphins from that missed workout).
The heater seemed to be on full blast in the office since the tiniest little woman down the hall complained about being cold the day prior (and building management over-corrected the issue it seemed). I was debating on using my chapstick on my eyelids, since I swear I could feel my face literally cracking. And hooey, I smelled from sweating in my own chair, while doing nothing aerobic. Ewe...

I wasn't looking forward to my lunch, which instantly dictated that everyone around me walk around my desk with Friday's cafeteria special = grilled cheese and french fries. Fantastic.
I stabbed at my healthy lunch and ate it with disdain. Boo.

I remembered that we were out of healthy food, so I managed to stop at the store on the way home. I had to practically fight some kid for the fresh lettuce as the crew member from Trader Joe's told us that we had better grab what we could, since they were not going to be getting any more lettuce until after the weekend. I grabbed!

I really wanted to put something nice together for our dinner, but instead popped a microwave dinner in the nuke box and went to change my clothes.
You know the ones: the soft, baggy pants with the drawstrings, and a faded out old T-shirt of my husband's. I grabbed the remote control and a large pillow as I 'nested' into the sofa. And that pretty much sealed the deal.

I swear I looked up form the remote control, and all of those cute plastic tubs of sweet and salty-ness from Trader Joe's were stationed around me instantly. Who did that??

I didn't care about a healthy dinner anymore. I just wanted to tell myself that I deserved a better evening to make up for the day so far.
No, it didn't work, but that didn't stop me.

Later on, it occurred to me: If I was to throw out those extra baggy pants and roomy T-shirt, would it have made a difference?
If I zipped up a formal gown, swabbed on sparkly gloss, and made myself flammable with hairspray as if I were going out on a date, or to a premier of something (insert your favorite fancy event here), would it have brought the action of putting hand to mouth to a screeching halt (with brake fumes behind me)? Well, I'm not sure. I guess I will need to test out this hypothesis right?

I've decided that I am going to trash my 'binge outfit'.
That T-shirt is going buh-bye.
And it's time to trash the pants too.
Time to trash the mentality behind the pants.
Come on, who's with me?!?

Because being cozy to be truly comfortable and relaxed is one thing, but to 'dress' for a binge is quite another, and quite destructive, no?

Tomorrow is Friday, right? I think I just might need to find a dress and some shiny shoes to put on in preparation. This means I will (ideally) avoid a binge if I feel one coming on, AND look like a cutie-patootie in the process.
Bonus: my husband will think I dressed up for him, which would lead to creative conversation, snuggles, and lingering kisses, and other things much sweeter than any sugary confection...

'Nuff said

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNFLOWER4ME 12/2/2011 2:31PM

    Wow. SO true. I repeat: so true. I thought 'dressing for a binge' was my personal concept. But it's so true. My outfit is black leggings or my big blue navy sweatpants and my brothers grey sweatshirt - its a XXL, he's a big guy. Then I plop and eat. But you are so right. I am going to try the whole dress like you want to feel idea. If you are wearing something tighter where your binge bloated stomach will pop out, then maybe I will think twice about binging.

This made me think, too, about just taking better care of my appearance. Taking time to do my hair and makeup each morning, so at least I feel pretty. When I feel good about myself, then I am not tempted to drown my sorrows in food.

Smart girl right there, you are. Smart girl.

I guess I'll go donate that sweatshirt...

Comment edited on: 12/2/2011 2:31:54 PM

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LGAR519 11/18/2011 4:07PM

    You are so clever. I love this blog. I wear my baggy sweats as a badge of accomplishment. I can binge in anything, honey! I've had years of practice. Love you!

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KRZYKAT3 11/18/2011 3:47PM

    A great idea. I am working o n getting rid of clothes that have become baggy like sweat pants. My boss calls all my work pants sweat pants & I figured it has to be because they are getting very baggy in the behind on me! LOL

Not sure I am ready to trash all my comfy clothes though. After a long day at work in dress clothes I am TOO ready to get out of day time attire.

Might have to go for my FANCY just fit me now comfy clothes instead - I do have a couple of velour outfits that haven't fit for a while. I will pull those out for our holiday trip tonight when I pack & see if they fit. hmmm Maybe I can join after all...

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GOLOPTIOUS 11/18/2011 10:55AM

    I love this idea. It's totally true for me. In fact, several people in my family have this. Sometimes we call them our "fat pants" or our "Thanksgiving pants" and they are kept around just to make us feel comfortable when we are eating too much food.

I'm throwing mine out too. Thank you for this!

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MUSICALLYMINDED 11/18/2011 10:17AM

    I hate that they cranked up the heat for some birdboned woman. That makes me angry! I'm always hot (course I have a few extra layers of fat to keep me warm). Put on a sweater if you're cold, people! And a coat! And a scarf! I'm boiling in my fat!

Anyway, I LOVE the idea of you getting rid of your binge clothes. I think you can still have comfy pj's that are not "binge clothes." My favorites are my satin pajamas. Still comfortable, but subtly sexy enough to make my husband give me a second look and keep me away from the bag of chips. I don't know why... but looking good makes you less inclined to self-destruct with sugary, salty snacks.

Good going, girl!

Comment edited on: 11/18/2011 10:18:18 AM

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CTUPTON 11/18/2011 9:45AM


Great idea! Who's going to binge wearing a fitted dress or nice, fitted slacks! Chris

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WINACHST 11/18/2011 9:10AM

    I seem to get the opposite effect when I put on my "comfy" clothes because they are all so big on me and I am reminded of how far I have come.

Had to chuckle at the bonus.

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    I can totally picture you greeting your hubs at the door wearing a glamorous 50's style dress, and 4 inch pumps, with a martini glass in your hand.
Good luck...and have fun. emoticon

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PURESTILLWATER 11/18/2011 12:32AM

    great blog and good food for thought.

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ARLENE_MOVES 11/17/2011 11:34PM

    Bonus: my husband will think I dressed up for him, which would lead to creative conversation, snuggles, and lingering kisses, and other things much sweeter than any sugary confection...

and exercise!!!!! emoticon

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CANNIE50 11/17/2011 11:10PM

    My main binge outfit, when I was in my "fat and getting fatter" days, was a pair of extra large, navy blue, soft cotton jersey type sweats with a drawstring (which means they were actually larger than extra large), and then any old big t-shirt and fuzzy socks. It was a happy day when those sweats were ridiculously, sloppily big on me and I got rid of them.
I like your hypothesis - test it out, honey, and get back to us. This is one of my favorites of all the blogs you have written. emoticon PS I have long maintained that Trader Joe's is a treacherous place for people in "binge mode" - there are a couple of aisles that might as well have B I N G E spelled out in neon. Tubs of teeny tiny cookies? Oh, yeah - they helped me fill out those big blue pants, back in the day........ emoticon

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CRYSTALLEAH 11/17/2011 10:22PM

  What a great post. I too agree that I am far more likely to skip a workout and/or over indulge if I am in my most comfortable clothing. And I think you are completely right, if you get dolled up, make a nice dinner and have a date night; you'll feel a whole lot better in the morning. Thanks for making me think!

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RYDERB 11/17/2011 10:18PM

    emoticon emoticon What a great idea!
Bring the sexy storm, and avoid the food storm. Let me know how that works out! Right now, I'm wearing jammy pants, a tank, and a big fuzzy robe and socks. I was contemplating eating some Arctic Zero! But my husband got to it first, and said there's a reason it only has 150 calories in a whole pint. emoticon emoticon
So now it's just going to be a glass of almond milk.

Comment edited on: 11/17/2011 10:19:19 PM

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Look Ma - No Hands!

Sunday, November 06, 2011

I think if my experience with SparkPeople as if it were riding a bike with training wheels.
See, I already had the bike, but over the years, I seem to have forgotten to ride it; my balance was off.
My balance in life was off.
I knew that I didn't want the extra weight that I packed on, but was needing that 'push' to get that cycle of life moving. I am sure you can relate.

Do you want to know what I LOVE about SparkPeople? I came into Sparkly Land as a newbie, who, well, was lacking that light in one, or, let's be honest, ALL areas.
Not long after joining, I got 'hooked' and reeled in from other Spark member's fishing lines (if there was such a thing).

I dusted off that bike, put some air in the tires, and strapped on my helmet. I felt motivated again and it was awesome. The next thing you know, I was setting goals. Participating in teams. Challenging myself. Losing weight!

It was a welcome feeling to know that I was not the only one struggling with balance; still needing those training wheels. Spark friends encouraged me. And riding that bike actually looked like a challenge I was ready to pedal through.

My pace was slow at first. I had a hard time looking ahead of me, and kept looking behind to make sure that those training wheels would keep me steady. When I came up against hurdles in my path, most times I would come to Spark for resources and find ways to crash through those boundaries. My pace and my Spark increased even more...

I am now at a place where I can say that I no longer want to look behind me; only ahead. Those training wheels might still be there. I don't really know. I'm pedaling too quickly to notice, and beaming with a genuine smile. Balance is something I strive for every day, but I am already reaping the rewards of my effort, and the support I receive here.

Would it be silly to still keep the handlebar streamers? I swear they make me go faster.

'nuff said.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRENTDREAMER 11/10/2011 8:00PM

    "I am now at a place where I can say that I no longer want to look behind me; only ahead. Those training wheels might still be there. I don't really know. I'm pedaling too quickly to notice, and beaming with a genuine smile. Balance is something I strive for every day, but I am already reaping the rewards of my effort, and the support I receive here. "
* I know that feeling all too well. Back on the bike wind to the back. Back on track.

"Would it be silly to still keep the handlebar streamers? I swear they make me go faster.
* Yes it would. That's why I recommend that you do so. When one has a profile pic of Fozzie the Bear, the silly/sensible line is more than blurred.

Zoom, waka waka waka ZOOM, waka waka waka....

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MALKS_ARIA 11/10/2011 10:29AM

    Yep yep :) Awesome Job!!! I am still using my tricycle, but I got those streamers too!!!


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CLOVER2 11/8/2011 2:32AM

    You're that flash of color zooming by, the streamers are an absolute must! You paint a picture of pure joy for all the rest of us cheering you on! You go girl!

emoticon emoticon

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ARLENE_MOVES 11/7/2011 11:27AM

    Oh, I love analogies. Thinking outside the job is so creative and you've done it!!! Yes - keep the streamers, get that little bell that goes on your handlebars and GO, GO, GO.


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HIPPIECHIC68 11/7/2011 11:24AM

    You should definitely keep the streamers...maybe I'll get a set, too!

Thanks to you for your inspiration, as well!

Have a wonder filled day, my friend...

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LGAR519 11/7/2011 11:21AM

    Love the blog! I have no imagination so can't think off this cute stuff.

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SUNFLOWER4ME 11/7/2011 8:26AM


Awesome, blog.

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RYDERB 11/6/2011 11:56PM

    What I love about you, is that no matter how fast you're going, you always slow down to encourage a struggling friend or even stop to lend a helping hand. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CANNIE50 11/6/2011 9:16PM

    this is you - emoticon this is me - emoticon this is one of the many reasons emoticon. emoticon emoticon to you from me emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/6/2011 9:16:56 PM

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    Let me tell you, when I read the title of your blog I held my breath. You, my quirky friend, could be dangerous with "no hands" emoticon

Great blog...and definitely keep the streamers. I know for a fact that they do make you go faster...and they are just plain Snazzy! emoticon

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MAMADWARF 11/6/2011 8:47PM

    You better get a horn, baby, so you can warn people when you pass them up! Love the analogy!

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Why Am I Visible To You Now That I Lost Weight?

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

"Hello, can I help you find something?", the employee at the clothing store said to me recently. In my mind I was thinking, 'wait, I know you. I have been coming to buy stuff here (i.e. from YOU) for a long time, and yet you act like I am a real person now. I used to wander the freshly waxed floors down every aisle, asking aloud for help and you guys would continue your conversation, practically hiding from me.
Why do you approach me now? Was I invisible before when I was 30 lbs heavier? Was I not worthy of customer service?!?

Why do you make me feel like a freshly painted watercolor scene now, yet you made me feel like a blank canvas when I was heavier; void of life and color?

I didn't get some magically transforming hairstyle when I reached my goal weight, or spray tan myself into an orange frenzy (gooped up with layers of lip gloss perched on 6"platform heels). My point is that I was still the same ol' me. I had on jeans, a T-shirt, and my converse sneakers. There was nothing calling attention to me (or my body). I actually looked behind me to see if the salesperson was speaking to someone else. Nope, it was me.

The paranoid side of me wondered if this woman's manager was nearby (or perhaps freshly installed video cameras?), and that was the reason behind that ear to ear smile. It made me uncomfortable, so I left.

The guy at the farmer's market was a lot nicer to me than our last encounter months ago too. I bought the same items, but there seemed to be something different about his behavior towards me. Did I pick up on a genuine smile and sense of humor, when in the past I felt like I was wasting his time by asking if there was any more fennel? What's that about? Once again, no special bosom revealing outfit on my person, just casual stuff I threw on and my sneakers. These converse sneakers aren't magical - are they?

I should be proud of my weight loss; allowing myself that little extra shimmy when I walk, and flash my smile when I talk, but I found that these encounters actually made me more sensitive about my weight loss, and honestly, a bit angry.
Maybe I was having flashbacks of junior high school (since I was a huge goofball), and the cute boys didn't really see themselves with a girl who was a raging vegetarian and literally wore something with cow print on my body every single day. I know, strange right? Ha!

I had a 'heart to heart' discussion with my inner protester, and had her call off the picket lines against those who treat me differently than they did when I was heavier. After all, what would that prove, other than the fact that I clearly had let these people make me feel insecure about something I should be screaming from the rooftops with joy - I reached my weight goal with the help of SparkPeople!

I'll be going back to that clothing store and trying on clothes soon - 3 sizes smaller now - and enjoying my new / old body looking back at me in the changing room mirror.

Just don't get me started on how horrible fluorescent lighting can make ANYONE look though. If store owners want to sell their merchandise, perhaps they should stop designing changing rooms like a miniature hospital waiting room. E-gads!

'Nuff Said.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MILLIE5522 11/24/2011 3:16PM

    I have only just come across this blog, so apologies for the late comment. Just want to say that this is a great blog.....you are so right about feeling invisible when being overweight.
As for changing rooms....the Marks & Spencer's department stores in the UK have mirrors on all sides which is REALLY scary! emoticon

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RHMORTON 11/22/2011 12:47PM

  Ur right. People do treat u different. Sad but true.

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MISSLISA1973 11/11/2011 10:21PM

    Sad but true. Boo.

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    It makes me angry too, but people who look nicer get treated better.
I go to the store in sweats looking like a hot mess. Man enters the grocery store ahead of me but lets the door slam in my face instead of even holding the door open for five seconds.
Next day, I go to store dressed very nicely in a skirt and dress shoes, makeup done, etc. A man ahead of me will see me coming from 100 yards away and will stand there with the door open for 60 freaking seconds to hold the door for me while I awkwardly shuffle faster to keep him for holding the damn thing open so long.

Is this fair? No. Does it happen? Totally.

Try this as a test.

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HELLAS2 11/4/2011 7:33AM

    Great Blog

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H-DOG-8 10/29/2011 8:02PM

    I'm glad you called off your inner protestor by the end of the post! Sometimes you just need to vent, and then reassess and realize it's not worth your time to hold on to the negative feelings from others. You're far to awesome to let them get you down! And your attitude is always way too positive....in fact, I predicted a happy ending as soon as I started reading! Go back and shop my dear! Nothing should keep a woman from shopping.... ;)

Great post!

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CTUPTON 10/29/2011 7:01AM

    Here is the other side of the coin: For awhile now I have "put on a happy face" and actually feel confident sometimes --even at my present weight. I am a little mentally different and have somewhat accepted myself. I am pleasantly surprised that people in stores are more friendly to me now. For the first half of my life I blamed everything on my weight. But a co-worker said her family were all larger than me and happy and did not worry about it! She said I was fine and looked good! HUH? What an awakening for me. It got me thinking that maybe it wasn't my weight but my attitude. Since then I have tried to "just be me" with a much more confident attitude. And in one of my blogs I describe "being hit on" in a local restaurant. How titillating! I couldn't believe it! I was wearing something I never wear in public--a clingy light blue top that showed cleavage. Now looking slutty isn't exactly a great way to get noticed, but it showed me that my fat wasn't as important as I thought.Chris

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CTUPTON 10/29/2011 6:50AM

    Wonderfully expressed! Often I have felt invisible and ignored in stores. Invisible is a perfect word for that. I have wondered about this, too.And I have felt hurt. Chris

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MALKS_ARIA 10/29/2011 1:08AM

    Goodness.... I am totally coming to the thought that "Invisible" is a way of life for some people... and treating us as "invisible" makes it easier for them.... but sadly, they miss a lot of great people that way, with really great hearts...

Keep up your good attitude, and yeah, if you go back.... spread the Spark, and Shout it from the Dressing Room, that SP helped and You cherish yourself enough to take steps to get healthy!! :)

You mean that flickering dull blue lights isn't the best color for trying things on?!?! Really!?!? Hold on... can I get you to repeat that in front of a mirror with Florescent lights flickering?!?! Let me Video Tape that ... and submit it to those who don't seem to care, but to take our money.....


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RYDERB 10/26/2011 11:55AM

    You are BEAUTIFUL! Your smile is SO bright that it lights up this Spark World! So I can only imagine what it would be like for that sales woman, or the farmer's market guy to see it in person. If they didn't notice you before, they MUST have needed glasses! Maybe they finally got them. Ha!
Obviously, you're making a valid point, people are discriminated against daily for all sorts of things, weight included, but sometimes, when we're not feeling our best, we perceive a situation more negatively. Before I allow myself to get upset or have my feelings hurt, by something another person has or hasn't done, I remind myself that I have no idea what's going on in that other person's life. Maybe the sales person that just walked away from me, as I was calling out "excuse me" really needed to pee! (I've definitely been there) emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/26/2011 11:56:13 AM

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LGAR519 10/26/2011 11:01AM

    What a great Blog!! I have often felt this way but couldn't express it. People have always treated me like I didn't exsist. Like I wasn't REAL. But then again, maybe it's just my imagination!! I'm so glad you have lost 30 pounds. I'm pulling for you.

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HAPPYLOSER46 10/26/2011 10:55AM

    I do find that people with weight on them do get treated differently sometimes, than "average" sized individuals. I'm happy I've never treated anyone differently because of what they look like, thin/overweight, rich/poor, whatever. I don't understand the mindset of those that do. I just don't "get" them. They are the ones with the problem.

You are looking fabulous! I know this is wrong..but I think I might pull a Julia Roberts on them (from Pretty Woman)...j/k! It would be a hoot, though! hehe But, remember, they are to be pitied because they don't have good character!

Enjoy your new look and life and smile from ear to ear at them when you go into the store, happy with yourself that you're not like them! emoticon

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SUNFLOWER4ME 10/26/2011 10:17AM

    Firstly, I think yous a look darn sexy with an orange spray tan and 6 in platform heels emoticon. Secondly, you go to a farmer's market! That's grrrrrreat emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon and Thirdly, girl you BEAUTIFUL and SKINNY! Of COURSE people are going to look at you. Now, is it right that they look at you more now then they did 30lbs ago? No. But that's how we are sometimes. Don't let it bring you down! emoticon

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LESLIELENORE 10/26/2011 9:02AM

    I need to get a pair of converse! I have lost almost 60 lbs, but I still have a ways to go to get to my goal, and I am still pretty invisible in stores. I know I smile more and I am more approachable than I used to be, but I still have to hunt for assistance in stores. I could totally relate to how you were feeling though. When I was skinny I had no trouble getting help. I am so impressed... 3 sizes smaller! WTG!

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    It sucks that people who are thinner or prettier are often treated better...we are all here to lose weight and improve our health...but we shouldn't have to do that to gain respect.

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MEDDYPEDDY 10/26/2011 1:02AM

    This is a problem to me - not because of losing weight but because of getting employed as a business editor of a local newspaper. Suddenly everybody wants me to be around and everybody is very nice to me... and as it happened I told myself not to forget that it is my position they are liking, not me. But I have gotten used to it and I donīt think about it any more but take it for granted. It will be a shoch when I retire and nobody wants me around anymore...

I usually get the attention I need at stores - but maybe it is because I never wait to see if somebody volunteers... as a young girl at dances I learned that if I was going to wait for somebody to ask me to dance, I would not dance at all. So I quickly started asking myself, the trick was to do it before I noticed that I was not asked, because if I noticed, I would lose confdence and not dare to ask... the downside on that is that I assumed that nobody ever wants me around...

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PURESTILLWATER 10/26/2011 12:29AM

    I can totally relate to this Bren. People totally treat you differently. Great post.

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1HAPPYWOMAN 10/26/2011 12:26AM

    The same thing happened to me! I got really pissed off about how much nicer the coffee shop guy was to me, and my friend said the same things that Cannie wrote. It's probably some of both: we're more positive and confident now, AND some people are nicer and more attentive when you weigh less.
It's wonderful that you're so sensitive to the nuances of interactions. Then you can write about it and get us all thinking. I liked what that other commenter said, about how your blog made her question the way she relates to people with different body sizes. I'm going to look at that too, because it's subtle thing that could bear some closer examination.

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OOLALA53 10/25/2011 11:44PM

    Bravo! also made me wonder who I am ignoring because they don't fit my image somehow.In any case, revel in the changes you've made to your habits that brought about this new body. emoticon

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DANCINGRITA2 10/25/2011 11:29PM

    I'm impressed!!!If I keep on I'll find a mirror like that one myself. emoticon emoticon Rita

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THEFITNUTLIFE 10/25/2011 11:12PM

    First - I'm so sorry you had to suffer because of those people's insensitivity and rudeness. Second - I'm very glad you're doing so well with your weightloss. 30 lbs is a huge accomplishment! Third - I Love your attitude and the fact you won't let these people's carelessness derail you. emoticon

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CLOVER2 10/25/2011 10:52PM

    I know how you feel, there have been times where I get the distinct impression that others feel as though we are "catching" and if they get too close the fat cells will cluster and throw themselves onto and into anyone too close. It's embarrassing and disheartening, but I remember that those people aren't my friends, they are strangers and I feel sorry for them. To limit your world that way is sad. You and the others that have touched my life here are the ones that really count!
Love you!

Comment edited on: 10/25/2011 10:52:47 PM

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CRABADA 10/25/2011 10:46PM

    Congratulations on your success!

While I agree with Cannie that it *could* be that you're giving off a more approachable vibe, I also think being overweight does make us somehow invisible to others and it's just not right. So, if you're going back to that store, make sure you find another person to help you. :)

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HIPPIECHIC68 10/25/2011 10:45PM

    Glad you are doing well, my friend! I'm going to start wearing my magical converse more often!! HaHa... emoticon

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MAMADWARF 10/25/2011 10:44PM

    yea I have had that experience too. I just take it as a compliment and go on. You look awesome and have worked hard for those 3 sizes!!

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KIWI202 10/25/2011 10:03PM

    Congrats on your weight-loss and reaching your goal!

I haven't even reached my goal, but I notice subtle differences in the way people treat me as well. Sometimes I chock it up to a little more confidence, but sometimes that little voice argues. Either way, take pride in your achievement and shimmy in those jeans. . .3 sizes smaller!

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CANNIE50 10/25/2011 9:59PM

    Okay, just to play emoticon advocate, what if you are giving off a completely different vibe to people now that you are no longer uncomfortable about your weight? I know I am more approachable when I am feeling positive and comfortable, and I am more inclined to approach people who seem that way, as well. Just a thought, doll...............Either which way, you are quite adorable.

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    So true! Blows my mind.

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JENNYINAJIFFY 10/25/2011 9:22PM

    This is so true! What is up with that? Well, congratulations on the 30 pound loss! Way to go!


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Food on my mind (literally). Complete with parsley garnish...

Monday, October 17, 2011

One of my treasured Sparkly pals and I commiserated about how much food had been on our mind this past week - how it seems to be weighing on us. But I feel like food is LITERALLY on my brain, on my mind. Squishing down on me more so than usual. Can anyone else relate?

The food that is 'on my mind' seems to be very delicately arranged too; not spilling all over the place, the way too much salad dressing does on a small bed of lettuce...
We're talking a massive ice-cold silver platter, with all of my favorite food on display, complete with curly parsley garnish:
Double fried french fries, pasta carbonara, a miniature pyramid made form the darkest chocolate 'bricks'. Rum and banana's with a dollop of gooey nutella... and the food porn continues...

What does that food 'on your mind' translate to, and how do you push back against it to keep your healthy lifestyle in check?

Are some of you trying to balance an entire catering table filled with sterno heated troughs of beef and broccoli on one side and carrot cake on the other, like some Las Vegas all night buffet gone awry?

Perhaps a Medieval Times themed setting of food? A pewter platter piled high with turkey legs (ripped off the bird in a savage fashion) and herbed potatoes in between mountains of BBQ ribs, practically thrown in top of your mind - don't forget the ale!

How about a rustic Italian wooden platter with mounds of tortellini and ravioli oozing with prosciutto and parmesan. Fried calamari bits rolling into the gold colored lava of fresh polenta poured out from a huge pot high above. And don't forget the pizza's stacked high like a thick roll of quarters.

Honestly, I'd like this food on my mind to all be packed up To-Go.
As in, go away, go somewhere else far far away.
Wrap it up in a huge sheet of tin foil (shaped like a swan) and send it packing!

But then I think about how this road to my best-ever health is not an easy one, and that anything great is worth fighting for.
I'm also finally able to see AND acknowledge that I created the wonky-wired mindset that food is the enemy. I was not born with this, I did it to myself.
I created and nurtured a twisted vine-like relationship with food over the years, until I ended up jailing myself behind the overgrown thorns.

I have to keep reminding myself that I can overcome these things in time, but not overnight. And that's where all of you come on. Spark People continues to be an invaluable source of information, support and friendship.
I can share the ugly truth about the food on my mind, and Sparklers seem to come out of the woodwork to help me heave that figurative platter off into the distance, so I can focus on better things; the TRULY sweet things in life, right?

'Nuff said.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CTUPTON 10/23/2011 11:27AM

    What a great blog! I am always thinking of eating! Wish I could change that. Chris emoticon

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RYDERB 10/21/2011 11:27AM

    I'm glad I paid attention to that caution sign! Because I can definitely relate to this blog. Just seeing the words Pasta Carbonara got my mouth watering. Getting control and breaking free from all my food cravings, is something I'm struggling with everyday. Thank goodness for exercise, and all my Sparky friends. Stay strong. You can do it!
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CANNIE50 10/19/2011 3:41PM

    Nice job on the blog - I especially like the part about building this crazy relationship with food. Sort of like, when I was 14 and "taught" myself to smoke - yikes. Quitting smoking and drinking were not as hard as changing my relationship with food, probably because this is the earliest habit and will be the one I will have, for better and worse, until I die. I cannot believe I am in my 50's and still behaving like an idiot with food. I am better now than I was, but I still have a long ways to go and, yes, I AM TIRED!

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MALKS_ARIA 10/18/2011 9:07PM

    wow, My mind went to all that food porn... and the nausea I have been battling tonight grew by leaps and bounds.... Which is very unusual for me! Enjoy your food porn, and maybe I will get to enjoy it some other time :)


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LGAR519 10/18/2011 3:11PM

    I am not a fan of good food. I have always favored junk food. For example: If I was offered a meal of meatloaf, green beans, mashed potatoes, and salad. I would turn it down in favor of ice cream, chocolate, pizza, etc. And I crave it constantly. Still!!

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WINACHST 10/18/2011 9:24AM

    I had to chuckle over the parsley garnish - The other day my husband and I went out to eat and there was parsley garnish on the plate and I thought, "This is something we don't see very often nowadays." Yes, it does take time and effort to retrain the tastebuds to enjoy a different type of food. But the benefits make it all worht while.
Thanks for the blog.

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MEDDYPEDDY 10/18/2011 12:34AM

    When I get in the mood of emotional eating there is no food that is tempting enough. That does not mean I do not overeat any longer but food has lost its imaginative power. I only wish that I could muster the power to stay away from the stuff that does not help me...

Interesting blog, it helped me, thanks!

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1HAPPYWOMAN 10/17/2011 10:31PM

    Food, how I love you! I am not ashamed of my love; food, glorious foooood, deserves a passionate admirer!

My problem with food arises when I revert to my old food-as-a-reward mindset. It helps to give myself a lot of non-food treats: fill up my evenings with visits to old friends, take naps, take time to write poetry. I know none of those things can be deep-fried, but they really do seem to help.

It really, really helps if I have things to be excited about -- and not manufactured excitement, but genuine, curling my toes excitement. Then the treat, guilt, misery, treat cycle just fades away!!!

You can do it, sweet pea!

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SUNFLOWER4ME 10/17/2011 9:09PM

    I absolutely relate, and sometimes the food in my mind becomes food in my belly emoticon. Just try to stay strong, and keep those mind foods out of house so they are out of mind. But yes, I feel you on this one. It's no fun, but it too will pass.

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Eggs, why do you piddle on my plate?

Friday, October 07, 2011

I've got this hare-brained theory that most of the healthy foods I try to incorporate into my meals tinkle / piddle / pee on my plate like my new puppy Olive.

For example, scrambled eggs are a fantastic source of lean protein - for about 60 seconds after being cooked. After that, I feel like they get upset from being neglected, and then morph into a bumpy mass, sitting in it's own pee. Yummm....?
I think that eggs need some 'produce sized' pull ups diapers.

My tofu seems to sit in its own tofu tinkle at all times too. I drain it, and it goes again (and again and again).

Tomatoes wizz all the time, and can ruin a pretty platter of caprese salad if not drained for a bit. Bring a spoon!

Pineapple really dumps it's produce puddle into the bowl, don't you think?

Watermelons dribble and spritz no matter which way you cut into them - and can be a disaster on a white dress shirt (I'm speaking from experience here).

Eggplant is practically all water, yet omits a funny Ghostbusters-like-slime soon after cooking (boy am I showing my age here, aren't I! ) Same thing with okra.
Is that slimy substance still considered a produce potty break? Hmm...

Mushrooms - There is good reason why some people call them mushies - oh wait, maybe that's just me : ). They omit a grey waterfall when cooked, and simply must be drained.

Kiwi Fruit - There is always a friendly puddle left behind from their little bladders. But they probably pee the cutest in my opinion, since they look like giant furry bear toes from the outside.

Maybe we need a 'sweaty produce' list. That would include sliced figs, mangoes and papaya's. They don't seem to do much but glisten and sweat, but would still need a little pat dry on their foreheads (if you will), from the condensation.

I'm not sure where to put onions in my zany theory, since they do sweat (and smell like sweat), but they make us sob more so than the onions, as we fend off our own tears!

Sometimes my husband will tell me after he's finished a fattening meal that he feels "like a solid".
This makes me think of other food items that are fattening, and, well...solid, to back up my claims.

Butter, lard, brie, frosting, full fat cream cheese, veleveeta, gravy, and anything deep fried, etc.
Forgive me for the the food porn. I am sure you get my point!

I definitely would avoid lumping certain items into the 'solid' category though, like dark chocolate and nut butters, since those delicacies have health benefits (Thank GOD!).

In conclusion, my theory is that fresh healthy food certainly MUST be alive. since it has a bladder, and a lot of times, and eagerness to prove it - on my meals.

I should hit up one of those fancy schmancy culinary stores sometimes and pick up multiple sizes and shapes of colanders, since I have vowed to keep the contents of my belly as clean as possible, which means I wont be ditching the wet stuff any time soon.

'Nuff said...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    *cracked me up!*

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AAAACK 10/21/2011 1:43AM

    Hey have you ever seen those little piddle absorbers in berry containers!? They're just mini versions of puppy training pads. You are just too funny!

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LSBETH 10/12/2011 5:35PM

    emoticonI prefer poached eggs so mine really get a lot of piddle LOL emoticon I like the juiciness of the rest of the stuff but after reading your blog they won't be looked at in quite the same way as before LOL -
hope you're doing well on maintenance!!! You're so awesome!

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MEDDYPEDDY 10/11/2011 1:17AM

    You made me giggle here, thanks!

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REDSHOES2011 10/9/2011 11:09PM

    emoticon Zany thinker but true, I hate the yolk not cooked.....

Comment edited on: 10/9/2011 11:11:29 PM

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MALKS_ARIA 10/9/2011 11:05PM

    Yeah but......

LOL They are so tasty and good for you!!!!

Try using a Cast Iron Skillet on top of your tofu to "drain" it.... LOL

and Just eat your eggs quickly!!! and why aren't you juicing all those good fruits and veggies?!?! Then you wouldn't be worrying about the juice on your shirt. (This coming from the gal who feeds her shirt each meal... cuz it has got to eat too! LOL ) :) Have a great week!!!

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MOMKAT4310 10/9/2011 8:07PM

    So funny!!!

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MOXIEGAL67 10/9/2011 2:39PM

    eggs sitting in their own pee....yummmm. emoticon

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RYDERB 10/7/2011 11:44PM

    If only you hadn't compared all those yummy things to Olive's piddle.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    I have a word for you. Zany. I think that suits you.

Um, I don't care about food pee. But I'll eat just about anything.

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KAYELENE 10/7/2011 9:05PM

    emoticon so true! emoticon seem to be a bad one for me.

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PAMNANGEL 10/7/2011 8:53PM


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    Strange, yet true!

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