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I'm at the crossroads right now as I type...

Thursday, April 11, 2013

*Warning* Venting and food porn! But also in dire need of encouragement.

I brought the medical bills to work since its easier to call and figure out the current $ due with a live person on the line, right? The amount due was much higher than in the past, or even 6 months ago. Wow our insurance has really pooped out since January of this year. First is was the prescriptions of mine that they simply no longer covered (ok, we will deal with that). But now I need to pay over $600.00 for some minor pain treatment in February.

This doesn't even capture the $ due for the past two surgeries (at the end of February and then 2 weeks ago). And we just paid (err, charged) a tremendous amount of $ for installing air conditioning last week (which is STILL leaking and will be fixed soon, but stilllllll!), and I am (still) in yucky pain.
Does this mean that I am paying a lot of money out of pocket to NOT feel any better and NOT be in a chilly-cool living room at home? Uh huh.

Ack! And we have to still do our own taxes. Blerrrrrg!!! We owe too. Gosh, will we ever NOT owe? Bro-ther!

So I want salt and fat and gooey things laced with butter. I want those burned edge bits of the brownie pan AND the gooey pudding-like center of the brownie pan too. Gotta be honest.
And I need to be even more honest and say that while I plan to make it through tonight by eating healthfully (darn it!), I already hear my inner brat whispering in my ear. She is telling me that if I survive tonight, I can certainly 'feel' this cruddy stress all over again tomorrow, and emo eat then in vain attempts to stuff it down, literally and figuratively.
Yeah, it's there, in my noggin.
But I don't want to.
Even though mentally I am looking down that road of marshmallow creme and cookie dough dreams, my feet are pointed in the opposite direction; on that road back to healthier choices; ESPECIALLY when stressed out and feeling anxiety of what my illness is costing us financially. Because that is the path and road I WANT to follow. I need to help myself in the areas that I do have control over since my disease is out of my control. Good choices with food, more times than not. Much more rest to counteract the zzz's that my EM robs me of, etc.
I keep telling my inner brat that 'my thoughts do not define me'. They don't, right? At least they shouldn't. I don't HAVE to allow them to do so.I don't HAVE to be defeated, right?

Do any of you experience that moment of standing at the crossroads - Where your triggers try to dictate who you are? I'm there. It's not where I want to be. But even as my feet are pointed in the direction to which I want to go, I have not started walking forward yet. Come one feet! Move it!

'Nuff said

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEWHENRYSMAMA 5/13/2013 8:01PM

    Sweetie, I hear you! I am late responding because I just got here to your page..by mistake, but I think it is where I was suppose to be! This day was awful with disability woes for my husband...he just got approved for long term disability the end of March and already he is being reviewed...endless insurance forms, and no real answers regarding his mystery illness that has caused black outs, seizures, falling, shaking, etc. I, too, am on disability! I am the only one of us that can drive...he helps me get to the car, and once where we need to be, mostly Dr appts, he pushes me around in the wheel chair! That is if he has a good day and we can even go out! I think I just needed to spit this out today! I feel blessed we have good insurance, but that was in jeopardy with his medical leave and getting approval for disability...and it feels threatened again!
I hope you can feel better, get help, and get help with your debt!
You are in my thoughts and prayers!
Love & Hugs,

Comment edited on: 5/13/2013 8:04:07 PM

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MRSSCHENCK 4/21/2013 8:07AM

    I'm right there with you! I'm trying so hard to behave. I went to the mall yesterday and skipped an entire level so I wouldn't pass my favorite bakery. The owner always asks me if I want the crisp edge or the gooey center of the brownie. emoticon Boy, do I know whatcha mean!

Medical bills? Don't go there. I literally have to pick and choose what doctor/lab/specialist I'm going to visit each month. It's like picking out of a hat. Jeesh....

I don't owe any taxes but H & R Block charged us almost $400 to complete ours. emoticon Needless to say, the papers are STILL in their office....

Hang in there, my friend. emoticon

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CTUPTON 4/14/2013 9:09AM

    My inner brat wants me to do many unhealthy things. Thanks for ways to put her in line!


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CLOVER2 4/12/2013 11:12PM

    There are times when I sit around on my personal little pity pot, feeling sorry for myself because I can't be "normal". I'm not normal when it comes to eating, I'm not normal when it comes to drinking, and in so many other ways. I get frustrated, I get angry and I just don't want to do this anymore.
And then God makes sure that I end up on your page and happily find a new message from you. So I can realize just what my life is really like.
You are, without a doubt, one of the bravest, funniest, coolest human beings I have ever had the good luck to come to know. I sometimes wonder how you do it. But I also know that you couldn't be anybody but who you are.
I really wish that there were something I could do to make it better for you. With all my heart.
You have all the support and love I can send with these words.
You are strong, you will do what you know you need to, to be the best you that you can be.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KETTLEBURN 4/12/2013 9:29PM

    When you say "inner brat" I'm immediately seeing an image of a little girl lying on the ground, pounding fists and feet, raging because she can't have what she wants. And you know why she's so tantrum-y? Because you're NOT going to give in to her! You're going to tell her that you have more to worry about than what she wants, and that she needs to hush up and behave or she gets nothing from Santa this year (that always freaks kids out, right?)!

Seriously, though, I'm sorry to hear that you're being bogged down with internal struggles and external financial stuff. I tend to hold to the belief that everything happens for a reason and that we're never given more than we can handle--even if it seems like the opposite while those things we have to handle are happening! You are one of the strongest, most resilient people I've come across ever and I have no doubt that you'll get through everything you need to emoticon . You know that you have an extended family to turn to here at SP!


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IYA_EKUNDAYO 4/12/2013 8:11PM

Stay strong my warrior friend!
(That is my nick name for you from now on) in case
you have not figured that out yet.

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TRENTDREAMER 4/12/2013 8:07PM

    Really really sorry to hear

emoticon emoticon

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RYDERB 4/12/2013 5:19PM

    I'm so sorry you have to deal with so much financial stress right now, in addition to the pain of your disease. Way to blog it all out! After reading your post, I think having your feet pointing in the right direction is a major victory. Take time to feel proud of that accomplishment. Your inner brat might be loud and persistent, but I know you can block her out. Turn up the music, drink some cold water out of a pretty wine glass, and look at pictures of those amazing Lucy Capris you're going to reward yourself with.
emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/12/2013 5:20:56 PM

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CANNIE50 4/12/2013 4:49PM

    Oh, sweet-pea. I wish I could lift these burdens from you and give you the break you so desperately need and deserve. I just don't want you to add nausea and regret to your woes. I am so proud of you for logging on, and venting, rather than just digging in and pigging out - such a healthy choice, my dear, SUCH a healthy choice.

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WINACHST 4/12/2013 9:18AM

    Oh, I am so sorry to hear of your medical woes. I was in therapy for my wrist a while back and when I saw the bill for a splint they made for me, I was outraged ($650.00) and I was told it had a life expectancy of 6 months.

Don't grab that sugary, fatty, salty food as it will only make you feel worse. Stay strong!

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BLOOMINGLENA 4/12/2013 4:19AM

    Everyday we all have to deal with problems serious or not. I have been at that crossroads and still fighting emotional eating. I am at the beginning of my journey and my emotional ups and downs make me hear the same voice which tells me to give in to temptation and when I do I have one more thing to make me feel worse. Nothing is solved by eating a brownie. It will only make you feel guilty and angry at yourself that you didn't have the strength to resist and then you will consider yourself a failure. Do you want this? No! You are stronger than you think and clever enough not to give in to your inner voice. Move forward! This is the only way to make you feel better! Guaranteed! emoticon emoticon

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CHRISTINASP 4/12/2013 3:44AM

    I'd like to suggest you take a good look at the break between writing about your finances and then saying 'SO I want salt and fat and butter...'. Because it is not really all that logical a transiation, is it?
You REALLY want to be free from the financial stuff, right?
And yes I know about that crossroads. You don't really want the brownies, you want to feel better. Are there other things besides eating a brownie that could make you feel better? Even if it's just going for a walk?

One thing that has helped me is to pick ONE of my trigger foods and say that 'I can have it' - but not now, once I feel better / once I'm hungry / once I'm no longer longing for it just because I want to drown out other feelings and thoughts. So you can tell yourself you CAN have it - but postpone having it. If you can postpone it chances are by the time you 'can' have it, you no longer want it so badly. And if you do and have it, at least you've spent more time NOT overeating.

Comment edited on: 4/12/2013 3:45:29 AM

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NUOVAELLE 4/12/2013 2:07AM

    Think about how you'll feel afterwards in case you choose the wrong road. The inner brat will have silenced but your conscious self, the one that wants you to be driven by your sensible choices and not by your thoughts will have been infuriated and will be mad at you! Do you want to be mad at yourself and guilty for letting your thoughts and your emotions take control? Of course not. So, make the first tiny step towards the right road and your feet will follow.
You can do this! You're sooo strong!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TIME4CARRI 4/12/2013 12:33AM

    emoticon emoticon
Crappity! Here's the deal. you logged on, vented and that alone will help some you will see. What you need are sleep and endorphins. I try to ask myself if I will ever encounter the same type of problems again when I am stressed. If the answer is yes, then I think about how I want to proceed now and in the future. Bills and health never seem to be completely off the radar........Sometimes I am successful and sometimes I blow it but good for you for doing something healthy in the form of a SP vent!

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MAMADWARF 4/11/2013 10:54PM

    Oh yea I hear you! First, medical bills...tell the hospital you cannot pay it. that this balance is your portion and you cannot pay. Ask to apply form the charity care. Every hospital has it. They will send you some forms, fill it out and send it back. The debt may be forgiven. Taxes will also take payments. The prescription may have a discount with the manufacturer...check the internet,

Food is tougher. But. O matter how many brownies you eat, you won't feel better. Believe me, cookies and I go way back and it never helps. For long a anyway. Go get some water and some popcorn. You will be OK. Hugs my friend.

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DHLPRT 4/11/2013 9:12PM

  My life has been like that for the last 2 years. One thing after another..that's why I'm just a step away from 200 lbs. They keep telling me it is going to get better. I have to believe that. You made me feel better knowing I am not the only one that's just trying to make it one day at a time...

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HEYNOW22 4/11/2013 9:06PM

    You are right - thoughts do not define you - you are stressed and probalby have in the past turned to food in stressful situations - the thoughts are a natural response for you - Just in being able to see that those thoughts are a reaction and stopping to think before grabbing that unhealthy food is a sign of progress!! you got this you are stronger than you know!!!

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A little frost in your day can be a neat thing!

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Benefits of cold weather (from someone who must be in cold temps at all times!)

Doctors claim that cold weather boosts your metabolism in your body's effort to stay warm, so people tend to lose more weight in cold weather. Hmmmm? I Like it!

Pesky insects don't survive in freezing weather. No Mosquitos, Fleas, etc! Which also means none of the horrible diseases that these insects carry either.

All the dog poo in the back yard freezes, making it easier to scoop. If you step in it, it does not matter, IT'S FROZEN & will not stick to your shoes.

(My most favorite): Cold Weather Can Reduce Inflammation - There's a reason putting ice on an injury works. That drop in temperature reduces inflammation. But the theory works on a much grander scale, too -- cold temperatures can reduce inflammation and pain all over. In fact, athletes and spa-goers even have a remedy of sorts available for muscle recovery. A 2011 study found that, at extremely low temperatures, such treatments, called cryotherapy, did more for athletes to recover from physical activity than simply resting. At some spas, cryotherapy chambers appear much like steam rooms - with, of course, the opposite effect. And while the majority of us probably won't be taking a trip to the cold room, it certainly beats summer swelling!

In some countries, the use of cold temperatures for medical purposes is taken quite seriously. Several years ago, Finnish researchers reported the results of a study of 10 women who, for three months, took cold-water plunges (20 seconds in water just above freezing) and submitted to whole-body cryotherapy sessions. Blood tests showed a two- to threefold jump in norepinephrine levels minutes after cold exposure. Norepinephrine is a chemical in the nervous system that wears many hats, including a possible role in pain suppression.

Endurance Performance Increases in Cold Weather:
More Fat is Burned During Cold Weather Exercise: Exercising in cold conditions can produce both higher usage of muscle glycogen and also higher rates of fat metabolism…Insulin levels have been shown in some studies to be lower in winter and cold conditions which can also spur on fat breakdown.

Cold Water Bolsters Immune System: Scientists from the Czech Republic immersed subjects in cold water for one hour, three times a week and monitored their physiology. They found significant increases in white blood cell counts and several other factors relating to the immune system. This was attributed to the cold water being a mild stressor which activates the immune system and gives it some practice.
Athletes who train regularly in cooler air (or in cold water) are less likely to experience downturns in their immune systems after workouts than those who are exposed to the cold only sporadically.

The Cold Will Make You Happier: cold will also stimulate your parasympathetic system, which is responsible for rest and repair, and this can trigger the release of dopamine and serotonin. These neurotransmitters are a vital part of keeping us happy and low levels of them are linked with depression. Couple this effect with the endorphin rush as you take the plunge and it should make for a warm glow and a wide smile when you re-emerge.

Speaking for myself and my disease, cold temps keep a bit of a muzzle on some of my chronic pain. Warmth of any kind triggers pain flares and wild swelling. Since people with EM cannot sweat from the affected areas (arms, legs, face), it's a whole lotta no fun. Cold temps and ice packs sit on some of that pain, at least for a little while each day. I love me some cold! And I have a new appreciation for it after doing this Spark Team homework : ))

Yay for staying chilly (at least for myself!)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIME4CARRI 4/11/2013 7:30PM

    This is great information. You know, I am a born and raised "sun" girl from O.C. and 11 years ago we moved to N. California which has real seasons. For the first 7 years I was depressed during winter and spring. I have since changed my attitude because it looks like we're here for at least another 10. This information is wonderful for continuing to change my attitude about cold and I will be referring to it again for sure. Thanks so much!!
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JCARDINAL 4/11/2013 5:55PM

    Come to Chicago it's been freezing!

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TRENTDREAMER 4/11/2013 8:30AM


Thanks for sharing. Never thought of that.

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NUOVAELLE 4/11/2013 6:17AM

    Thank you for all those interesting facts, Bren! I've always loved winter and cold. I actually find every season to have its own beauties but the lack of pesky insects during the winter months is definitely a reason that makes it my favorite!!!

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CANNIE50 4/10/2013 5:13PM

    Such an interesting set of facts, Miss Bren. So, when is the move to Alaska? emoticon I have definitely experienced the benefits of ice baths, when I used to run long distances. I am the first one to turn on a fan or request a door to the outside be opened, during boot camp classes. When I hear the weather in the Bay Area is chilly, I am always happy for you. Chill out, baby emoticon

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LINWASH23 4/10/2013 4:45PM

    Wow, that is good to know. Thank you for sharing emoticon

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Dark chocolate covered inspiration?

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Were you assaulted by marshmallow peeps or that danged Cadbury Egg?
I'm pretty sure I consumed both. Blech.
I won't say I blew it this holiday weekend, but I certainly didn't fare well.
I DID have an 'aha' moment last night though, and I am kinda impressed with myself.
Is it possible to be disappointed by my appearance and my eating issues and still give myself some kudo's? Important to note that these are not the real candy bar Kudo's of the grocery type, but a much needed pat on my (already) padded back? : )

I feel like a screenwriter here, but here goes:

Monday eve. Nervous and anxious about potential nerve damage in my left leg as a result of the procedure last week to hopefully relieve some pain. I just might be one of the casualties that the docs warn you about before they knock you out. I'm so upset!! EAT!
Will it last forever?! Numb from the knee down, but still have so much pain there? Is that even possible?? Eat. Eat.
Is this how I will need to live out my life ON TOP Of living with Ethel (my EM) and CRPS? - With crutches and being unsure of walking on my own -FOREVER?! I can't breathe...
Is living out my life with potential nerve damage going to get any easier with eating my emotions and getting even bigger???
*Stop eating* (Woah!!!).
I waddled to the kitchen and put back the remaining sweets (holy moly), and even tossed the extra popcorn (wasting food? The horror!)

Do I get an award for this? Will I one day write and bellow out some sappy acceptance speech (and forget to thank the people I love accidentally)? Hee Hee. I dunno.
But strangely, aside from the total discomfort of eating too much prior to that moment, I felt... motivation? Like a slice of my former self hollered out, "hey you, chubby. Yeah, I'm talking to you. You have always hated the idea of throwing in the towel. You've not only thrown in the towel, but i think you're eating it. KNOCK IT OFF!!!"
A tiny particle of the old healthy me didn't retreat with this inner confrontation, but acknowledged it instead. No excuses this time. No denial. I don't know how that 'aha' moment could have motivated me, but it did.

So this morning I did as much of my dvd mat workout as I could handle. Even though I had to hold ice packs (acid fire arm pain); even though I couldn't wear my shoes (yep, more fire pain); even though my workout pants wanted to roll off of my belly like some twisted circus trick (stay up darn you!).
Instead of focusing on the sad scene of me fighting with my pants throughout that partial workout, I have been looking online for some of my favorite Lucy capri workout pants. My bum is bigger. I get it. But (har har) to keep me inspired to shrink it smaller, I want to get some workout clothes that fit!

Look out world, here I come.

'Nuff said.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAILYNSTAR 4/7/2013 7:08PM

    You are quite the fighter.

I'm impressed. Motivation!!!! Yay!

You are going to get far my friend.

emoticon Missed you.

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JCARDINAL 4/4/2013 9:35PM

    You are my hero!! Amid all your pain you can still find motivation. Yeah YOU!! emoticon emoticon

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SWEETNEEY 4/3/2013 11:26PM

    During this journey we gotta laugh at ourselves. NSV - putting the candies back. Tonight I got home about 8pm and I went in the kitchen and cooked sesame shrimp warmed up some quinoa that I made this weekend and that was dinner. Before Spark - I would have stopped at Wendys or some other fast food joint and had my dinner in the car. When I got home I would have finished wolfing down that food and be in bed. So, there has been a changed ... Believe you me... I did think about Wendys but it was only for a second - honestly emoticon

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SUNFLOWER4ME 4/3/2013 8:42PM

    You amaze me.

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CANNIE50 4/3/2013 2:57PM

    Oh, Miss Bren. I am so happy you posted this blog. I love how you convey your "aha!" moment. Yes, workout clothes that fit - I am on that same quest, my dear. Workout clothes are a tool in our "get fit toolkit" and wearing the kind that roll down (UGH - HATE that) is just annoying and gets in the way of really getting into the workout. You are a lovely inspiration to many, dear Bren. You have inspired me so many times, in so many ways. Yes, Easter was ugly for me, food-wise. All that sugar did me no favors and did not soothe the pain of estrangement. We trudge on, doll - emoticon I wish I could wrestle the awful pain away from you but, alas, I cannot. I can only hold you in my thoughts, my prayers, and my heart, as you do all the wrestling of those awful beasts that attack you. emoticon

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RYDERB 4/3/2013 2:47PM

    Bren, how you were able to find such clarity, strength and determination at such a tough moment is beyond my comprehension, but at the same time, something that makes complete sense; because you are the strongest, most beautiful, and AMAZING woman that I know.
I'll be praying that you're NOT one of the statistic your doctor warned you about before the surgery. and that your leg starts "feeling" better soon. emoticon

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CTUPTON 4/3/2013 9:19AM

    I took a nap yesterday emoticon with 'ice' (frozen vegetables ) on my knees. I fully understand pain. I hope your new problem is very temporary! Chris

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2WHEELEDSHARON 4/3/2013 9:06AM

    Wow, very impressive Aha! Award winning indeed! Your award is wearing cute yoga capris;-)
Way to go Bren!

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CELLISTA1 4/2/2013 10:24PM

    Bren, you continue to fight the good fight. That's all that matters. Most of us have never been tested like you have. I say: have an expensive Godiva chocolate once in awhile and leave the junk food chockies alone.

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MAMADWARF 4/2/2013 9:36PM

    You're a champion!! I love you, BREN!

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Elvis has left the building

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

I have used this phrase in reference to my hands and feet often, but this time I am referring to my nails. 
They seem to be leaving the building. As in, 'Elvis has left the building'.

I've noticed that I dwell on this recent occurrence more than I should.
By then again, how can I avoid it? My hands are right there in front of me. I generally cover my legs with a pair of black tights and a skirt, so that doesn't nag me too often. But my nail-less fingers...it gets under my skin.

I needed some distraction from my nails, or lack there of. 
Rather than focus on all of the things I have not been able to do for quite a while with the frail and now some missing nails (like opening soda cans, picking up a penny from the floor, actually pushing those 'push' buttons, etc. why not think up some fun benefits that warped and/or nail-less fingers CAN do?

Yes, many of my nails have 'left the building', but it was time to put a twist on this reality. It was time to get my giggle on. Check out what I came up with, Elvis style.

I visualized myself in metallic gold shades, flaunting a frothy pair of unaffiliated side burns. 
Then I surfed my own personal wave of a Blue Hawaii daydream, as if channeling The King:

I could stir the peanut butter in the jar with my index finger, not having to worry about getting it stuck under my finger nail before making that fried PB and 'nanner sandwich. 
Don't worry! I haven't actually done this. I'm just dreaming about it. 
Mmmmmmm....drool drool drool.

I could play a guitar with a guitar pick, and not worry about using nails here either. I just might belt out, "All Shook Up" though. So be warned, I can't carry a tune!

I would have no problems hopping into and out of those polyester sequined jumpsuits since there are no buttons. Yay for giant zippers!

I took the shiny gold shades off and came back to reality. I seems that Elvis Presley is a good fit when I need a good distraction.

Bonus of Elvis daydreams: the rhinestone clad wardrobe distracts anyone (even myself) from seeing those mangled fingertips. Nice!

'Nuff Said

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    good 4 u.

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RAMONAFLOWERZ 12/4/2012 2:08PM

    Your smile comes right through this post. I love it!

Hang in there!

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KAILYNSTAR 10/2/2012 8:32PM

    No dirt to pick out from under your nails either... emoticon

I'd miss them too.

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AAAACK 9/29/2012 2:41AM

    You can spin a quarter! No nails to slow it down. You can turn laundry right side out with no fear of snags. Ooh ooh, your tights will all last longer! You could take up piano. But I still hope they make a reappearance because I know they're important to you. Does the nail bed hurt as much as I imagine?! Yikes, I started out trying to be funny and here I am getting all mothery on you. Be better!

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2WHEELEDSHARON 9/28/2012 6:01AM

    Not having fingernails would suck, but peanut butter stir sticks - an awesome advantage! Ooooh, you could use them as kebab skewers without having to worry about poking or scraping the roof of your mouth.
Do something extra good for yourself, maybe give yourself a bouffant combover, ok?

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NICIACOLETTE 9/28/2012 3:05AM

    Maybe you can rock long, silk gloves? Those look so retro and pretty with the right outfit. Sorry your hands are giving you a tough time. emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/28/2012 3:06:18 AM

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IYA_EKUNDAYO 9/27/2012 7:22PM

    You are fabulous girl! Know that!

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JCARDINAL 9/27/2012 12:32PM

    I can just picture you swiveling in your gold lame". Bren, you are an inspiration to us all!! emoticon emoticon

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WINACHST 9/27/2012 10:04AM

    emoticon I love the way you share such a positive attitude

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SARASMILING 9/27/2012 7:50AM

    Gardening without getting dirt under your nails that stays there for days! ;)
Making anything dough related and really being able to dig in there without worrying about it digging in your nails!
Finger painting!! Fun!!
emoticon you Bren! You always bring a smile to my face. God knew what he was doing when he made you.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CELLISTA1 9/27/2012 3:12AM

    Bren, or should I say "Elvis," you are the most awesome girl on the planet. Now, without nails, if your hands were working well, would be the ideal time to play a stringed instrument. Nails just plain get in the way when you're playing the violin or cello, let alone the guitar or the banjo. If you had nails, you'd have to be filing them all the time. So I say, take up the cello, like me! Air guitar or air cello work too!

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NUOVAELLE 9/27/2012 1:44AM

    You're giving us lessons of positive thinking every day!
I really hope they grow back.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NDTEACHER1 9/26/2012 11:08PM


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MOMKAT4310 9/26/2012 10:24PM

    Your sense of humor will continue to carry you far. Sorry about the nails, but there is so much more to you than finger nails. Love and Hugs!

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CTUPTON 9/26/2012 9:58PM

    emoticon Chris

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    Love your heart

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GUITARWOMAN 9/26/2012 7:04PM

    You poor thing!

Nail loss would drive me right around the bend, I got freaked out enough when I had to have a toenail removed for my most recent surgery!

I hope they grow back!

But....imagine how silently you could keyboard, no clacking nails.

Plus the major $$$$ you will save on nail polish, and files, and strenghteners.....

You could start a new trend!

Seriously, your positive attitude elevates me every day, hope the things grow back!


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JIBBIE49 9/26/2012 7:03PM

    hugs emoticon

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Pig Pen Response

Friday, August 24, 2012

I am now referring to my frenzied stuff-face behavior as the 'Pig Pen response' (remember that kid from Peanuts?). 
I know I am not alone here.
Have you ever felt like you just have a whirlwind of items on that to-do list, truly enveloping you?All are important, and all with an urgent deadline. 
At that moment, the freezer and pantry light up like neon signs, advertising their sweet and salty contents like a mini Las Vegas! I won't tempt you with the food porn...

Speaking for myself, my raging stress response to pain could trigger my inner Pig Pen, or giving myself an unrealistic to-do list, etc. 
But really, its all about my reaction to a trigger. 

I've skimmed over recent events that lead to my last Pig Pen response.
My chronic pain had ruled most of my day. Big surprise here on what I did next. Yep, I saw the neon lights of the sweet & salty treats, and out of the depths of my memory, I remembered exactly where each of those items were hiding (candy under quinoa pasta, potato chips behind the pouch of flax seed meal, etc.). I sabotaged myself!

Stuff face. Rinse. Repeat. Yuck. 
This is not an acceptable way to cope. Ugh. 

I logged on to Spark and poked around for some motivation to fend off my inner Pig Pen. I read some great blogs by CANNIE50 and AAACK and decided to integrate them into my daily life. I've been working hard to "tidy up my side of the street" by keeping my inner complainer in check. Allowing that negativity into my life just piles up emotional 'trash', and trash stinks!
I'm also making sure that I do at least one thing per day that makes me feel accomplished (no matter how small), and then acknowledge that moment. It's amazing how such a small thing can keep you smiling.

I challenge you to make a mental list of your Pig Pen triggers. 
Then list your personal battle tactics to prevent you from wolfing down your refrigerator contents. Be sure to put your action plan at the forefront of your mind.
After all, no one wants to clean up after Pig Pen!

'Nuff Said.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SARAWALKS 9/12/2012 6:34PM

    Ooooh yes, and I must say I agree with KAILYNSTAR - my triggers are boredom and stress. Fighting those head-on is the key - acknowledging and DOING something other than PIGGING. Little oinks are one thing but it's the BIG MESS one wants to avoid.
You are so fun. OINK! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAMADWARF 9/4/2012 11:19PM

    Um yea. Totally relate. But tonight I won because I had a 1000 calorie pack of popcorn and a 100 calorie pack of chocolate pretzels. Luckily I have nothing else in my house to eat so that worked out pretty good. A reasonable 200 calorie snack instead of 1000 calorie binge. I will take it

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KAILYNSTAR 8/29/2012 1:12PM

    Since I have been on this stricter diet, I have found that my kids and husband are my best supporters. They are amazing!

What triggers me? I have to say, boredom and stress.

I'm glad that you came on Spark and found some support and other perspectives. I find that helps a bit for me too.

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CANNIE50 8/28/2012 4:14PM

    triggers, triggers, triggers - I am armed with many triggers, unfortunately. I still say, based on my experience, that eating at least 50 grams of protein is one of my best trigger-defenses. Of course, I must have the willingness, and act on the willingness, to arm myself with all that protein so that I am less assaulted by all the triggers and cravings that come after me on my more difficult days. Yesterday was one of those difficult days and I didn't even attempt a fight - just shoved sweet then salty, sweet then salty, etc etc etc in my belly all day. Today has been a much better day. I think of you every day, dear Bren. I so wish I could relieve you of some of that awful pain that refuses to let you go. emoticon

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SARASMILING 8/26/2012 6:51AM

    I was just thinking the same thing yesterday about the smalls things that make you smile and really learning to laugh at yourself. It really does help. And boy do I know the pull of the neon signs or even when you can hear them whispering your name from across the room.. or house. lol! I've been eating like crazy for the past several weeks. I've got to stop. WE CAN DO THIS!!!
I wish I could take your pain away. And you can take my fat. Yeah, not really comparable, but it's all I got. lol!
emoticon you! emoticon emoticon

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MELIBUG 8/25/2012 11:26PM

    Pig-Pen - hmmm, that sent a visual of you circling the kitchen with a brown cloud following you; hopefully you haven't also taken to the blankie too!? :)

Triggers are huge and finding a way to keep out the trash is a good thing.

Hope you are feeling better today and have pretty flowers back around you instead!
Hugs ~ Melissa

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CTUPTON 8/25/2012 10:10PM

    Great blog! You have my mind going-as you always do! Chris emoticon

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FINALLYBEINGME 8/24/2012 11:11PM

    Love the idea of doing one thing a day that makes you feel accomplished. I've been trying to do that lately as well. Hope you're feeling better! emoticon emoticon

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AAAACK 8/24/2012 5:27PM

    oooh, my favorite line is: its all about my reaction
you're SO totally right! Regardless of the triggers, it's all about MY REACTION.
I'm going to ruminate on that today (along with whatever I overate last night, ewwww), as I go about trying to get things done.

thanks for the shout-out in the blog!

have a fab day

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KETTLEBURN 8/24/2012 1:08PM

    the pig pen response sounds like a response that would be discussed in psychological journals hahaha i'm sure they have an equivalent, but not one with such a catchy name!
thanks for sharing about your response (and triggers)! way to be accountable :)

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MISSB8604 8/24/2012 12:51PM

    Wonderful blog and what a great challenge!

Thank you for this!

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GUITARWOMAN 8/24/2012 12:35PM

    Great blog!

My pigpen is alive and well (particularly these past two days) and I am working on pumping up the positivity again to give him a bit of a time out.

I do know my triggers and sometimes I make what I think is a rational decision to allow them to trigger me.

But, as you say, focus on the positive and what we are doing right!

I loved the pigpen character in Peanuts. Especially that cloud of....well, I don't know exactly what.....but it was cute!


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JCARDINAL 8/24/2012 12:27PM

    Great blog Bren!! We all have that pigpen response hidden in us. I'm starting my list now!!

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