Tuesday, January 11, 2011
It is really hard to come back here after you have failed. I was 176 the last time I was here and over a year's time, ate myself up to around 194! I am so ashamed of myself.
I started my diet the 31st of December and today weighed in at 191 but think I am retaining water as day before yesterday I was 189.
I really feel bad as now it is another 20 pounds I have to deal with. :(
Last year was just horrible though. We bought a new house which is great but stressful. Then my MIL cancer came back and she died. About a month after that, our house was robbed.
During this time, my son was in jail for a dui. He gets out and is on house arrest for 4 months and his dad who had cancer took a turn for the worst. He died too.
I had just started a new job and I was really having a hard time with all of this and my son was arrested again and I was really not doing well and my boss starts working on firing me. I had a nervous breakdown and he did fire me. So then being out of work for 3 months didn't help anything.
So hear I am feeling better and getting ready to start a new job soon.
So yes, I have been perfect and not cheated, not even a crumb. I am completely able to ignore the tons of fast food my husband buys and gobbles down. I am glad because that is how I would mess up every time. I would be super tired and super hungry and he would order pizza and the one slice lead to eating badly again.
So I would be good all week having 1500 calories a day of healthy food and then one day a week would ruin it with thousands of calories of junk.
I guess I am sick of being fat. None of my clothes fit and I look so frumpy and gross and I don't want to shop in the plus size shop. I just don't.
So that is all for now.