Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Ok I'm really back on track! I am happy I have a mini holiday.
I had scheduled this time off about 5 months ago as I was supposed to be having a tummy tuck but then these new projects came on at work and they really needed me so I scaled the several weeks off to 4 days.
I think I will get my hair done.
I will definitely wash and wax my car as it's filthy.
I have started doing an hour a day on the elliptical. Yeah that is a lot! It is good though. I have figured out the perfect time to do it. I get home from work and have my tea and relax a bit and then by 7pm, Biggest Loser is on so I do it while watching Biggest Loser and So you think you can dance. It really is motivating to do it like that.
I am still with the boyfriend.
I'm going to be honest about why it has been so hard to let him go and date others. Of course I love him but except for my ex husband, I never had a problem letting guys go that weren't right for me before.
The reason is because of my weight. I have never ever never dated at this weight. When I met the current boyfriend, I was 150lbs. My ex husband and the guys I dated before him, I was 100 lbs soaking wet with rocks in my pocket.
In my mind I know that of course there are plenty of guys who would like me at this weight. I'm not that big. The thing is I don't feel confident at this weight. I just don't. It seems ridiculous for me to strut my stuff like I weighed 100 when I don't. When I was small, I never even gave it a second thought on my looks because I knew I was hot. I never was one of those gals who wore a size 0 and thought they were ugly and fat. I was hot. I knew it and the guys thought I was too and that is the truth. So at this weight, I don't feel hot because I'm not.
I am still doing some EFT daily. I decided not to go back to the EFT therapist as frankly, I thought he was a little creepy. I'll continue on my own and if I need to see someone for help, I'll just see another EFT therapist.
I am so excited that my Reiki Level I training starts next week! It is a 2 day course.