Wednesday, September 12, 2012
I've made it to the one week mark and I have made progress, I've lost 5.2 lbs!!! Go me! Also my influence has inspired my mom to eat healthy and track everything she eats. This will make it so much easier on me, seeing as what she eats for dinner I do too. I hope she finds success also.
So for the last 3 days I have been attending the gym at school during my long breaks, and I have been thoroughly enjoying that. It gives me something to do and it's super convenient since I'm there everyday for long hours... I can't wait to see even more results and feel stronger
I hope you're all having a lovely week!
Love ya, and thank you for the all of the support
Monday, September 10, 2012
Well, it's the beginning of early mornings for me this week due to school. I wish I had gotten to bed a little earlier last night, but oh well. This morning when I stepped on the scale my first reading was 213.2, then 213.0! After my shower it was 212.4 and 212.6, so I am a little questioning of which is the result with the most truth. I will just take it for what it is worth and say I am less than 214!
Anyways, I hope I feel brave enough to go to the fitness center at my school today. I say brave because this is a new school to me, and it's so confusing to figure out my way around, plus I never see my friends and feel like I am a total loner. I swear I have social anxiety. I hate feeling awkward around a bunch of people I don't know or going into new situations. I must though, and I am excited to get a routine going.
I hope you all have a nice day!
Sunday, September 09, 2012
It's official I think. I stepped on the scale today and I was 212.6, 0.6 down from yesterday! I am pretty sure the drop from 217 on Wednesday and now is mostly water weight, but that's ok! It needs to happen so I will let it and embrace it. Whatever bit I lose, it gives me hope. I'm going shopping with my mom today, so I plan to restock the kitchen with fruits and vegetables, seeing as that's practically all I have ate this week. Can't wait to report back to you guys tomorrow. Happy Sunday!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
I've been away from SparkPeople for a while now due to lots of things going on and then just guilt.I was in a Utah for a month and before that my friends were all leaving me behind and heading home from school while I prepared to do the same. Being home again has been a hard adjustment, especially now that I am being reminded of all of the reasons I hate this city.
I feel unsatisfied with life currently; I'm can't find a job, have no motivation , dread going to school in September for something I do not if I will like, have no achievements in my life, and I feel so fat. I know that achievement can be conquered with a little bit of motivation to get myself on track and being healthy again. I just wish things would work out for once for me. I need a job for so many reasons, but I lack the confidence to go out to many places and apply. I feel like they won't want me because of the way I look, etc., etc. It's dumb I know, but I am so self-conscious. Today was the first time in a week that I have left the house. It's that bad. Depression has definitely started to set in and I feel doomed.
I don't like anything I wear, and I hate that people always capture a different image of me than the one I see in the mirror. There are days when I might feel good about how I look and what I'm wearing, but when I see a tagged picture from facebook that is so unflattering from that same day I felt great and confident, I wonder how I missed seeing "all of me". I cringe and have to untag myself. I know I'm being a negative Nancy right now, I just need to write all of this out and vent. It's how I feel, no sense in lying about that. This is all. Hopefully I will be able to make the small changes in my life that I am in desperate need for.
Thanks for reading!
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