Monday, September 10, 2012
Well, it's the beginning of early mornings for me this week due to school. I wish I had gotten to bed a little earlier last night, but oh well. This morning when I stepped on the scale my first reading was 213.2, then 213.0! After my shower it was 212.4 and 212.6, so I am a little questioning of which is the result with the most truth. I will just take it for what it is worth and say I am less than 214!
Anyways, I hope I feel brave enough to go to the fitness center at my school today. I say brave because this is a new school to me, and it's so confusing to figure out my way around, plus I never see my friends and feel like I am a total loner. I swear I have social anxiety. I hate feeling awkward around a bunch of people I don't know or going into new situations. I must though, and I am excited to get a routine going.
I hope you all have a nice day!
Sunday, September 09, 2012
It's official I think. I stepped on the scale today and I was 212.6, 0.6 down from yesterday! I am pretty sure the drop from 217 on Wednesday and now is mostly water weight, but that's ok! It needs to happen so I will let it and embrace it. Whatever bit I lose, it gives me hope. I'm going shopping with my mom today, so I plan to restock the kitchen with fruits and vegetables, seeing as that's practically all I have ate this week. Can't wait to report back to you guys tomorrow. Happy Sunday!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
I've been away from SparkPeople for a while now due to lots of things going on and then just guilt.I was in a Utah for a month and before that my friends were all leaving me behind and heading home from school while I prepared to do the same. Being home again has been a hard adjustment, especially now that I am being reminded of all of the reasons I hate this city.
I feel unsatisfied with life currently; I'm can't find a job, have no motivation , dread going to school in September for something I do not if I will like, have no achievements in my life, and I feel so fat. I know that achievement can be conquered with a little bit of motivation to get myself on track and being healthy again. I just wish things would work out for once for me. I need a job for so many reasons, but I lack the confidence to go out to many places and apply. I feel like they won't want me because of the way I look, etc., etc. It's dumb I know, but I am so self-conscious. Today was the first time in a week that I have left the house. It's that bad. Depression has definitely started to set in and I feel doomed.
I don't like anything I wear, and I hate that people always capture a different image of me than the one I see in the mirror. There are days when I might feel good about how I look and what I'm wearing, but when I see a tagged picture from facebook that is so unflattering from that same day I felt great and confident, I wonder how I missed seeing "all of me". I cringe and have to untag myself. I know I'm being a negative Nancy right now, I just need to write all of this out and vent. It's how I feel, no sense in lying about that. This is all. Hopefully I will be able to make the small changes in my life that I am in desperate need for.
Thanks for reading!
Sunday, April 08, 2012
Last night my boyfriend and I were video chatting and we asked me if I had lost weight, because he said that I looked curvier.
Then today I put on a button up dress that is usually really snug across my torso, but it is comfortable and seems looser today! Yay!
I don't know, the last couple of days I would say that I have felt a difference in how my stomach felt, and even how it appears. It feels smoother, like a layer has been taken off. I can't believe it, nor can I wait to see more awesome results as I continue to work hard. Work pays off!
That's all, Happy Easter to all!!!
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