JILLYBEAN25   26,738
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How do YOU handle overweight friends?

Thursday, July 28, 2011

This is going to be everywhere, so enjoy the ride! I got some ADD thoughts today.

I was able to get an insurance-like plan for folks with pre-existing conditions. I have a consultation with a surgeon on August 5th. I hope to walk away from that appointment with a date for surgery. I want this stupid gallbladder out!!! I want to eat without any kind of pain. It would be great.

I was lucky enough to be in minimal pain from food and eating this last weekend at ComicCon. I had a blast. It was amazing! I loved it. I met Matt Groening and David X. Cohen. I met the guys from Ghost Adventures. I got to see Robert Kirkman. I slept 6 hours out of 48. That was not very fun. But, what a weekend! I dunno how I could top it if I go next year.

The real reason that motivated me to write this blog has to do with a problem I'm sure we've all faced at one time or another. I'll start by saying I've read numerous articles that say having overweight friends will also keep you overweight. In my case, I'd say this has some truth to it. Right now my biggest weakness is eating out. I love to cook and am very good at it. But, I get lazy quite easily when it comes to that... I hate turning on the oven or stove because it'll heat up the house. I rarely make easy dishes- I love to create elaborate, full meals (with leftovers for meals later in the week) which require a lot of time and cleanup. My diet is rather limited at this time due to my gallbladder and its unpredictability. I'm also a big foodie, so I like to eat out and try new things. Its easy and often times I'd rather pay for the convenience of someone else cooking food for me. Like I said: WEAKNESS. I can easily decline an invitation to the movies or for a drink at a bar. I give in so easily to an invite to eat out somewhere, even if I've given myself every excuse there is: I really can't afford it, I have something in the fridge about to go bad that I need to cook, I will make better food choices eating at home, etc.

One of my best friends loves to eat out. She has uncontrolled PCOS, does not watch her diet at all, does not exercise at all, and has very little interest in doing anything about any of it. I'd estimate her weight to be about 250+... a good deal heavier than I am. We are always dining out together. She's the one person I dine out with most out of everyone. And she keeps feeding into that weakness. She's always finding new restaurants for us to try, usually with pricey, outrageous portions of food. I have a tough time making the "healthier" choice at restaurants, especially if I'm ordering a salad and she's ordering a bacon burger, ya know? That does make me feel deprived! And the healthier choices at restaurants are always pricier than the junk. She knows I'm on a quest to better health. I'm studying nutrition, for goodness sake! She knew about my 28-day exercise streak. But, still she does this.

I will admit I have not said anything about it before. How does one broach the subject? Do I tell her she's contributing to keeping me fat? Or do I try a gentler approach and tell her that I'd rather do something else than eat? She doesn't like to do the same things I do. I love to hike and kayak and be active and outdoors. That's not her cup of tea. Also, she's the one with the car, so she drives us where ever we go (to eat). What should I do? Has anyone else ever encountered this problem, and if so, how did you handle it?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JILLYBEAN25 10/7/2011 6:52PM

    JS- I'm going to do exactly that. I love to cook as it is (except I lose motivation if I'm just cooking for myself), so that would work perfectly- for the both of us.

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JSALERNO 10/6/2011 6:26AM


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JILLYBEAN25 10/6/2011 1:28AM

    Thanks, Jocelyn. I definitely don't want to stop being her friend, but I do need to talk to her about how eating out affects my health. I am inclined to make poorer decisions ordering at a restaurant than I am planning and cooking meals at home. I think until I can learn to control it, staying out of restaurants and eliminating the temptation is going to help a lot. :-)

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WOLFKITTY 10/4/2011 10:55AM

    Sounds like your friend is just being the person she always was. She's in a different stage in her life/health. If what you share is eating out, you could try to do other things with her, or limit your time with her. She's not contributing to keeping you fat. Your decisions are your own, so you couldn't confront her with that accusation.

I think that the articles saying "overweight friends make/keep you fat" are merely pointing out exactly what you have discovered- Those friends often don't engage in physical activity and eat unrestricted, which are things that contribute to being overweight.

My fitness buddies have been friends I made on Spark, not my existing ones. I even have a couple of existing friends that go to the gym, but their schedule never matches mine, and they complain the whole time they're there, or want to go out drinking, or eat a big meal. (They aren't overweight, but their mindset is definitely not the Spark "Healthy Living" way, they're about binge and deprivation.)

I hope that no one decides to not be my friend simply because I'm obese. Now that I've lost 130 pounds, I weigh 250. From the outside, I look like any other 250'er, probably. And people seem to have enough reasons to shun me, or treat me poorly, without adding this fat phobia to it, like it's catching. I hate the way that news and genuine scientific research is sensationalized in order to make a compelling headline - to compete with ADD-friendly advertising and other ridiculousness. (Okay, rant over..)

I'm glad you say that you're conserving money, or whatever else you did to take care of this problem out of general necessity. I want to see lots of success for you!


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JILLYBEAN25 7/31/2011 4:30PM

    Well, no one answered me. But, I think I've taken care of this problem out of general necessity (not specifically aimed at the friend).

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Stalled for Eternity!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

...Or so it seems. I happily finished my 28 Day Bootcamp and wanted to keep up the momentum before, during, and after my cruise.

The week between finishing and my cruise I totally lazed it up. I didn't exercise, but kept active. After all, I was preparing for a week at sea... On the cruise itself I did manage to hit the ship's gym 3 of the 4 days we were at sea. And on land, I walked for hours on end or soaked in the ocean. Once again, kept active and mostly kept up my momentum. When I got back, I found myself "landsick" for several days- I was super dizzy and off-balance. I didn't workout at all because I was afraid I'd hurt myself on the treadmill or twist my ankle walking up a hill (my 'hood is very hilly). I LOVE to travel, but am not a very good traveler in regards to jetlag, seasickness, landsickness, etc. I also had an unusual work schedule starting immediately after I got back that I was trying to adjust to.

I was ready to get back into it once my head cleared from the fog and my schedule was solidified in my brain. Unfortunately, I have a problem and its certainly decided to worsen at this time. I need my gallbladder removed. It is full of stones. Completely full. And I, like millions of Americans, do not have health insurance. So, at the moment I'm stuck. I've been suffering from moderate to slightly-more-than-moderate pain. One night it was pretty severe. So, I haven't been eating much lately. I've definitely not eaten enough to fuel a workout, I'm barely eating enough to fuel my regular activity, but I'm terrified to eat. Anything and everything causes pain of some sort. Who wants to go hit the treadmill when your stomach has a persistent dull pain?

So, I'm stalled. I'm stalled in my fitness and I'm stalled in the next stages of my life that I'd love to be taking already! I want to go to culinary school here in San Diego, but I can't start something when I'll have to take time out, have a surgery, recover, then go back to finish. It just doesn't make sense... especially because the program I'm looking into is only about 9 months long. Then, I'd love to be looking for and starting a Master's program in Nutrition so I can be a Registered Dietitian. I feel like I need to get this stupid diseased organ out first, then I can start on the next part.

I've applied for a public insurance-type program for people with pre-existing conditions. I hope I get it. I don't want to have to foot the bill for a surgery. I'd rather do a laparoscopic surgery than a regular one, so there's more mula right there. I'm crossing my fingers and praying that this situation gets resolved satisfactorily and soon.

I leave you with my towel dog that the wonderful staff on the Carnival Splendor taught us how to do.


Post 28 Day Bootcamp- What's next?

Monday, May 16, 2011

Quite a journey it has been to finish. And I can't say I was always 100% successful, but I stuck it out knowing I did the absolute best I could! I've learned a few things along the way that I didn't know I could do...

I doubled up ALL the toning videos every day this final week. I made myself do them all twice because I knew for myself it was time to step it up. Doing them twice made me feel incredible and to me showed improvement from the very first week- that I had gained so much that I needed to increase the intensity and make it more challenging.

I also discovered I was willing to make sacrifices of petty things to make sure I got my workout in for the day. If I was invited to lunch, I would ask to meet a half hour later just to make sure I got in either cardio, toning, or both before heading out. I also discovered I actually could make myself do my workout no matter what time of day it was. I believed prior to this challenge that I could talk myself out of a workout if I waited too late in the day to do it. But here it is, 8pm, and I'm finishing up my 40 minutes of cardio and two toning videos. Booyah! I also noticed I'm more conscious of what I'm eating. Whether its a day I'm tracking, a day I'm tracking my fruits/vegetable servings only, or not tracking at all, I'm more aware of what I'm ingesting. I can't say that I'm ready to be tracking my meals regularly, but I think a deeper awareness is a good step in the right direction. I'm more than happy with that.

Tomorrow is the day I will weigh and measure to see my progress. For my future fitness goals, I'm going to do at least 3 days of cardio, 40 minutes (and increasing as I build stamina) and at least 2 days of strength training, on alternating days. If I can fit in more, then by all means I will. At a minimum, though, those are my goals. And of course I will increase the exercise as I build my endurance. My roommate says I should challenge myself to double the 28 days and make my own bootcamp for 56 days. I may consider doing that as well. I also am going to continue to expand my nutrition awareness and what sort of foods I'm eating. I'm going to take it to the next level and go to culinary school AND look into a Registered Dietitian program through the American Dietetics Association. I've been inspired by this program and encouraged for the last year by several close people in my life.

So, I'll edit this on Monday with my measurements to see how I progressed. I'm hoping to see some results. *Crosses fingers!*

Weight: 192.5 (up 1lb from last week! WHY?!?!)
Waist: 45.5" (down from 46")
Hips: 36" (down from 36.75")
Right Thigh: 14.25" (down from 14.25")
Left Arm: 28.25" (down from 28.5")

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZELENOTO 5/16/2011 4:47AM


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28 Day Bootcamp Week Four- DONE!!!

Monday, May 16, 2011

I finished!!! Hooray for me!!! I'm so glad to have gotten through the 28 days of bootcamp! Here's my recap:

Day 22, Monday- I caught up on the exercises I needed to catch up on in order to still be doing well in the bootcamp. I did my day 6 & 7 workouts (upper body and core), plus the day 1 video, which is the 10 minute cardio, and then 30 minutes on the treadmill. That got me completely caught up. It also helped out with the stress of my granny being in the hospital, my uncle being a mega jerkface (that's the nicest thing I can call him), and impending tests I had for the week. I tracked 5 veggie/fruit servings!

Day 23, Tuesday- I did 40 minutes of cardio- 30 on the treadmill and 10 on the elliptical. Woo! I also doubled up my toning videos for the day. And I didn't track my meals that day, although I don't think I scheduled myself to. I only got in 4 servings of fruit/veg, but I probably ate more than that in actuality.

Day 24, Wednesday- My short workout day thanks to work. It was quite a challenge this day, too. My schedule was switched, so I worked in the morning instead of the afternoon. And then I had a national exam for ServSafe certification in the afternoon, so I didn't get to work out until much, much later in the day. But, I did my 10 minute cardio kickboxing and my doubled up toning videos. It helped relieve the stress of the test because I left it feeling less-than-confident. I also didn't eat terrifically healthy. Thanks to lunch, that my boss bought me, I went over my calories and whatnot. But, I did track all day! I only got 4 servings of fruit/veg in, though. Bummer.

Day 25, Thursday- Doubled up my toning videos, 10 minute elliptical and 30 minute treadmill workout. All week I was switching up what I did first- toning or cardio. Just to keep my body guessing. I had lunch leftovers for a meal this day, but modified it so it was less awful nutrient-wise. I didn't track every meal, but had a decent idea what I ate anyway. I went to dinner with a long-lost friend of mine from back in the day that I randomly ran into at Mission Bay. I had a great time and a super great burger- no mayo- and a Julian's Hard Cider to wash it down. It was a fun time catching up and enjoying a really amazing burger. Perfect day!

Day 26, Friday- I got screwed by that burger. It was delicious and I didn't get food poisoning or anything like that. But, thanks to medical issues, the beef hit my system pretty hard and all the next day I was in physical pain. I had a feeling I would be, but I was unable to do much of anything, so I didn't get to work out. I vowed to make it up to myself. And I only tracked 1 veg/fruit serving and no food. The food issue was no surprise, I was in too much pain to eat a whole lot.

Day 27, Saturday- I fulfilled most of my vow. I didn't get to my cardio, but I did both days of my doubled-up toning videos. I tried to track my food, but I couldn't locate nutrition info for what I ate, so I didn't get to track. And lunch was so filling, it was basically all I ate. I had a few marshmallows, 1 smore... and I think some fruit and toast, aside from lunch. Yup.

Day 28, Sunday- I was so excited today was the last day! I did my toning doubled up after my cardio workout, which was, of course, 10 minutes of elliptical and 30 minutes of treadmill. I had 3 fruit/veg servings today. And boy, oh boy, am I super full! I didn't even snack much between meals. Geez! Like I said, I need a juicer! I wish I had money so I could have rewarded myself with one at the end of this challenge. :-(

I'm ready for the next phase of fitness and health.


28 Day Bootcamp Week Four- Goal Setting

Monday, May 09, 2011

I'm in the final stretch!!! Week 4 of the bootcamp!!! I'm so excited to be so close to this goal!

There are a few goals for the week to meet. The first one is to double up the daily toning videos at least 3 times this week. So, do it twice instead of once. I think I'm going to double them up everyday, though. I started feeling at the end of week 2 that I could use a little more challenge with the toning videos, but I waited to see what the bootcamp challenges would hold in the later weeks. So, I think I'm ready for the extra toning. I'm planning on doubling them up all 6 days.

Then, we are to stick with our favorite bonus challenge: either add a different video for variety, track your meals at least 3 times out of the week, or make sure to get 5 servings of fruit/vegetables a day. I'm actually planning on doing a variation of all three. I'm keeping my bonus video for Wednesday since I have work and I need a shorter workout. I'm going to track my meals on Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. I'm going to get 5 fruits/veggies in Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday (at the very least). This may involve me sitting down and writing out a meal plan for the week. Which is just fine.

I'm also going to stick with the cardio cross-training for this week. For five days this week (not counting cardio kickboxing day) I will do 30 minutes of one cardio exercise (most likely treadmill) and 10 minutes of another (most likely elliptical). I'm giving me a cardio rest day on Saturday.

The final (real) goal is to set a long-term fitness goal. I'll have to think about this one. I may decide to just continue with doing another bootcamp, or I may stick with 5/6 days of cardio and add in weight training. I want to keep up the momentum I've gained. I know this goal should be personal, but does anyone have any suggestions? What are your own long-term fitness goals?

I also did my daily weigh-in and measurments, so I know where I'm starting the week:
Weight: 191.5 (gained .5lbs)
Waist: 36.75" (gained .5")
Hips: 46" (gained .5")
Right Thigh: 28.5" (no change)
Left Arm: 14.75" (gained .75", but to be honest, I don't know how accurate my original measurement was)

Now I'm going to eat some lunch, digest it for a bit, and get on the treadmill!


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