Friday, March 25, 2011
I'm hoping by writing down all my reasons, big and small, vain and humble, that it'll give me a boost of motivation.
I'm a little concerned with my lack of energy for the last two weeks. I don't think I'm deficient in any nutrient and I'm taking additional B12 daily. I am not sure it could be anemia as I've been taking back-to-back birth control to stop my periods (until my ovaries can prove to me they can handle a cycle!), but maybe that's a reason... I've been doing this since October/November-ish. Over the last few days I've had more allergy or cold symptoms start to flare up... maybe I've slooooooowly been catching something? I've stopped eating red meat, so maybe I'm not getting enough protein in my diet. But, ever since I started getting super tired I've also gotten much less hungry. I don't know what's going on, to be honest. I wish I had health insurance so I could go get checked out by doctor. Anyone else have any possibilities? I feel like I just can't sleep enough.
Anyway, on to the REAL reason for this blog:
Why do I want to lose weight?
*To reduce the recurrence of the cysts on my ovaries.
*To strengthen my immune system.
*To have an easier time clothes shopping.
*To put less strain on my knees, hips, and feet.
*To walk up the stairs without losing my breath.
*So my arms can fit into tight sleeves without looking like stuffed sausage.
*So people can stop thinking I'm unhealthy just because I'm fat.
*So I can walk/jog a 5K in November.
*To reduce my risk of diseases, illnesses, and issues that occur due to being overweight.
*So I can be buff enough to open my own jars and take out the trash without struggle.
*So my butt can look good in a pair of jeans.
*So my whole lower half can look good in a pair of skinny jeans!
*So I can dress like the women from Mad Men.
*So I can go back to ballet and not feel self-conscious squished into a pair of tights and a leotard.
*So I can climb around like a monkey in a theatre to do electrician work (should I finally get a job doing so).
*So I can fit back into my favorite black cocktail dress. And red cable knit sweater. And green corduroy jacket. And ball gown that I made myself.
*So I can hate my legs less.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
... at work yesterday.
I go in to work, like I normally do, and the Boss Lady asks me, "So, do you want one of the wedding dresses hanging in the bathroom?" And I say, "Sure!" I left with a free wedding dress.
When the store first opened back in November 2009, a customer came in to ship some items overseas. So, Boss Lady gets a box and delicately packs up three exactly identical wedding dresses for shipment. The customer seemed a little sketch, not willing to completely fill out paperwork for the shipment, etc, so the next part of the story is no surprise.
A few weeks go by and lo and behold the box gets sent back to the store. (They put it on our DHL account, so the shop's address was the return address.) So, Boss Lady gets on the phone and calls the man back. Well, she was never able to get ahold of him. The box of brideless dresses sat in the back of the store for about a year. She finally sent him a certified letter a few weeks ago, using the address he used to fill out the paperwork, and said if we do not hear from you by such and such a date, we will dispose of the package.
I procured one of the dresses. It seemed like a waste to just toss 'em. And since they're brand new, it would be a little odd to just donate them to Salvation Army or something. I think I'm going to look for a specific charity that takes wedding dresses to donate to. Or I may keep it. I was quite surprised to discover that in losing 13 pounds since December/January (I wasn't really keeping track) that I've dropped a dress size as well. So, I took the dress thinking it was too small. Out of curiosity I tried on the dress and it fit. In fact, its almost too big on top. Fits just right on bottom... which has always been a thorn in my side finding nice dresses/clothes to wear. Not equal proportions on top and bottom!
So, for the curious, here is me in this lovely, but not my style, wedding dress.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Despite one pretty upsetting blip in my week this past week, I had a much better week than I did at the beginning of this month. Lemme talk about the blip and get that out of the way:
On Wednesday afternoon, I went in to work like I always do. My boss tells me that someone tried to call me at the shop the previous day! I work there 5.5 hours a week, unless I'm called in, so to me the shop is the worst place to try to contact me. And, since it's not my business and I'm just a clerk there, I felt that it was highly inappropriate for someone to try to call me there. The woman trying to reach me wouldn't tell my boss what the call was regarding, as she only wanted to speak to me, so Boss Lady took a message. Apparently this lady was calling from the California Business Bureau, so my boss (and myself) were concerned that maybe somewhere on this years tax forms or W-2's or something that she had listed my name as like a co-owner or that something got messed up, so I told her I'd call back and find out what the deal was. WELL... It was a busy day and I didn't get to make that phone call until I had closed up shop and signed out for the day. Turns out CBB is a debt collection agency! I was in the hospital twice this summer, one visit covered by insurance, one visit not... So, I was receiving bills and statements and surveys and tons of stuff from each of these visits. With my current employment situation, I cannot make payments on these, so I made arrangements with everyone. Unfortunately, one slipped under the radar. It happens. Ever happened to you? It happened to me. So, this woman proceeds to have a conversation with me. I have to tell you, this is one soul-less, heartless B**** with a capital B! I have never been treated so miserably by someone before! By the end of the conversation, this woman called me a liar and loser... in the same sentence. I realize these people are allowed to use whatever tactics they can to get people to pay up, and I'm sure this shell of a person with no soul has been given every excuse in the book, but being rude and calling me a liar/loser makes me want to cooperate less. I don't feel like she's bullying me into paying, I feel like she's bullying me into NOT paying because I don't want to help out a total @$$hole. The really infuriating part is, I told her the absolute God's-honest truth about my financial situation. So, in the meantime, she can suck it. I was so angry with her, I was in tears. Eff that B. Fo real.
But, that was the biggest blip of my week. The rest went pretty well. I got up 3 days this week and went for a walk around my neighborhood. It takes about 30 minutes or so, depending on the route I take. I feel great after. But, Friday and Saturday had weather that was looking unpredictable, so I went to my apartment complex's gym instead. I did some walking on the treadmill (which in many ways I felt was better than my outdoor walks) and then a few reps on some of the weight machines in there. So, 5 days of exercise. It felt great! I hope to keep up the momentum into next week. I set a goal for myself, that I'm tracking with Spark Streaks, to go for a 30 minute walk at least 3 times out of the week. That's my minimum. I'd like to do more than that each week.
I also had a job interview on Tuesday afternoon in downtown La Jolla. It went very well, but I've got a lot of competition, so we'll have to see. Apparently they received some 200 responses to their ad on Craigslist! I sure hope they aren't planning on interviewing ALL of them. I also hope that I beat out a lot of those 200. I sure need another job. I want to keep the one I have- I'm in too deep! They're paying for me to go to a notary public seminar to get my license this coming Saturday. I can't leave them after that. The job I interviewed for would let me stay there. I sure hope I get it. Keep fingers crossed and prayers going, please! In the meantime, I'm still applying for jobs. I have a lot of office experience and some food experience. I just want to be working. Please!
Thursday, February 03, 2011
I'm stressed out. I think I'm more stressed out than I should be. I'm letting little things stress me out way more than they should. I'm going to list this week's stresses, how they are making me feel, and why they are stressing me out (in my mind):
1) Maintenance emergency in my bathroom yesterday. Which is still not resolved. Leaving me without a shower. A leak in a unit above mine has caused a rather large chunk of drywall to be torn out of my shower, so I can't hang a shower curtain. So, I can't use my shower. I can use my bath, but I'll have to clean it a total of 3 times during this "repair", if I want to take a bath to get clean: #1 clean it after they knocked the drywall out, #2 clean it after they install the drywall, whenever that'll be, and #3 clean it when they paint the drywall, texture, plaster or whatever it is they'll be doing! That's a heck of a lot of cleaning that I was really hoping to do only once... maybe twice tops. Now that there's going to be a delay, and therefore a delay in me getting to take a shower, I'm going to have to do it. LAME!
2) Chauffeuring my friend around. She severely sprained her ankle, and I'm a good friend and a nice person, so I offered to help her out when she needs it. Her biggest need is being driven to school and being picked up from school. I don't have kids, I'm not a mom, but I'm starting to really feel like one at a point in my life where I'm totally not ready to feel like one. Its not that its a huge deal, but it does mean I have to schedule my activity for the day around her schedule. During yesterday's maintenance emergency, I had to leave to take her to school at 8am. When I got home from my night class at 11:00pm and needed to unwind and eat something still. I slept 4-5 hours and then drove several times behind the wheel and went to work that afternoon... Its stressing me out.
3) Speaking of my night class... Its 3 hours, once a week. Not a big deal. From 7-10pm. I can handle that. The content of the class, however, is BORING. Its a nutrition class titled "Foods for a Healthful Lifestyle". This week's lecture consisted of "Tour the Grocery Store!" These are dairy products:.... These are meat products:.... These are fruits:.... Here's how you select a ripe fruit:.... For two hours. Even an 18 year old should have SOME idea of what's in a grocery store by now! I get the feeling this class is going to be like that all semester. One assignment we'll have later is to take a recipe and make it "healthier". I do that every day. I compiled/wrote a whole cookbook for my baby brother doing exactly that! Another assignment is to do a recipe demonstration. Super, I cook and cook VERY well. Found out its a group assignment. I don't know anyone in my class, I don't care to, and I certainly hate working in groups... LIKE THE REST OF THE WORLD! Why do instructors still make you do group work? Its just awful in every way.
4) Work. Since the holidays are over, my hours consist of 1 day a week for 5.5 hours. And on-call on an as-needed basis. I get paid $8/hr which I've never been paid so low (except for my very first job ever). That barely buys me groceries. I need a better job! I wish I could get one that's closer, too, cuz paying $5 for a bus pass to/from work hardly makes that $8/hr worth my time. Especially if I do get called in, cuz that's usually for only 2-3 hours.
5) I'm waiting for the UPS guy. Well, that just always sucks, really. He's delivering my textbook for my online class. I'm already two weeks behind because I couldn't find that stupid book anywhere! So, I'm going to have to rush to get caught up this weekend. Even though its already affecting my grade. Awesome.
6) Food. By this, I mean groceries. My roommate and I split everything 50/50. Its easier that way and neither of us is so anal that "you can't touch my stuff!!!" It works for us very well. Besides, we have similar tastes and its easier to cook for multiple people than just one. But, he's been so busy at school lately, that we haven't gone grocery shopping in a few weeks. Our cupboards and fridge are looking pretty bare. I'm running out of creative things to cook with what we have. Also, we need to fill up our 5 gallon water jug since it's been empty for a few weeks, too. We have a Brita pitcher as a back-up luckily, but roomie is not in the habit of filling it up when he's emptied it. So, if I'm thirsty, I have to wait to get some filtered water to drink.
7) The upstairs neighbors. I hate them. Period. They have no respect or consideration for us living below them. They stomp all day and all night, every day and every night. I wish I was exaggerating, but unfortunately, I'm really not. They consistently wake my roommate and I up at all hours of the early morning. They stomp so heavy all the things in our cupboards in the kitchen rattle. We've complained about them numerous times, formally, and once informally, and nothing's been done. And the last time we complained, we were essentially told that nothing could be done. I've scoured the property's website and info for an address to send a letter to someone higher, but have been so far unsuccessful. This summer, my roommate and I have decided to break our lease and move. And they can suck it on any fees they think they'll be charging us for living in such a stress-inducing miserable place!!!
Well... I wish I could say it felt better to get that off my chest, but not really. It just made all my stress more solid. I know how to manage stress, I've attended workshops and whatnot to learn how to do so, but I am so far not implementing any of those strategies into my life! Why?!?! Why not?!?! Well, for one, exercise is a good stress reliever, but makes you sweaty, and I don't have a shower. And that's my preferred method of stress-relief. Which means I need to clean my shower. Which is what I'm stressed out about! Its a vicious cycle!!! AGGGHHHH!
Okay, time to implement other strategies. I have to do something. I'm so easily irritable and snappy this week. That's not me. I'm better than that. Time to kick some stress @$$. Any suggestions?
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