Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Today I am truly thankful for the final four-legged furball in the house, Kyle. He's not technically our cat. We're "cat-sitting" him, but it was only supposed to be for a month... we're approaching the 6 or 7 month mark by now. Anyhow, this kitty has been pretty crucial to what little of my well-being is present right now. Kyle is still an adolescent in the cat world and is playful, full of energy, curious, and gets into all sorts of trouble. But, he's also very snuggly and cuddly and his purr is so loud! He likes to talk to me, give me head bumps, and follows me everywhere I go around the house. His fur has been wet with my tears and he's been squeezed by plenty of hugs. And he still sticks around to make sure I'm okay after all that. I dunno how I'd have gotten through the most recent events in my life without him.
Also, I'm planning to 'catnap' him 'cuz I can't ever give him back to his owners now.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Today I am thankful for special quesadillas, although I really shouldn't be. Anywhere else other than here in the Imperial Valley a special quesadilla is one that has meat inside it. Tortilla, cheese, meat. "Special". Here, we do special in a different way... we deep fry it. So, we made a raw dough, jam it with cheese, fold it up more or less empanada style, and fry the sh*t outta that mother. The result is decadence. I grew up eating these things and every time I have one, I'm transported back to childhood (also a time when I wasn't allergic to beans- sadfacetear) and when I was happy and carefree. Now, eating one of those fatty things will either upset my IBS or go straight to my thighs or whatever. WORTH IT!!! So, so worth it. Imperial Valley special quesadilla is definitely an element of my "last meal"... you know, should I ever get the chair (firing squad is my preference, though.)
Saturday, November 16, 2013
This one I've been putting off for 3 days to write... not because it's not true, but because I'm afraid it might be someday. As long as I keep working on my goals and myself, I know I'll be okay, but damn if depression isn't some of the darkest sh*t I've ever experienced. This has been particularly crushing. I'm just amazed I'm not clinical.
So, I'm thankful I'm not suicidal. And years ago, when I was a few months away from ending my last relationship- with that abusive jerk- I was. Daily dread and the thoughts of how easy it would be to just do it and not have to live that sort of existence any more. Luckily I pulled myself out of that depression (which didn't feel the same way this depression does, so it probably was situational, not necessarily chemical) and ditched him before I did anything drastic. I reassure myself and the few friends that I've confided in about my current depression that they need not worry because I'm not suicidal. But, the scary [terrifying] thing is, I can see why depressed people attempt or succeed at it. Because, frankly, I wouldn't want to live for very long if this is how I had to feel every. single. day. I'm not there now, though, and I hope I never get to be.
Today I'm thankful for my sister-in-law's dog, Aiden (or BooBoo as we call him). When my lil' doggie passed away last year, for the first holiday I was going to be home, I knew it was going to be weird. Our canine companion had been in the family 12 years. And I wasn't there when he passed, so I was going to be coming home to an empty house. But, the BooBoo was there to ease that transition and pain. Having another canine around made it less weird somehow. And the BooBoo would go out in the back and lay down on my doggie's grave and mourn him, too, so it was comforting to know we were all in pain together.
Today I'm thankful for Starbucks Peppermint Mochas. They are my favorite of the holiday drinks (even more so than Pumpkin Spice, gasp!) And they taste like coffee got together with a candy cane and went dancing in an ocean of whipped cream. I do get mine with nonfat milk. Too much fatty dairy es no bueno with the ol' digestive system (thanks a lot Salted Caramel Mochas). Anyhow, I've had two this week, which is starting to make it less of a treat and more of a too-much-of-a-fat-thing. Oh well. It's not like they're around all year.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
I've been drained of all my energy lately (I'm attributing it to this stupid depression because really, I don't have any other reason to be so tired all the time) so I totally forgot to post my thankful thing yesterday.
And, of course, it being Veteran's Day, I am thankful for our veterans. I have a family member or two in active service and more than my share of friends who are now or have been at one time in a branch of our military. From Iraq to Afghanistan, the people I've known have been there, on the front lines, risking their lives and safety. They've done something I don't know that I could do myself. These people are amazing and wonderful. They are truly heroic and brave. And I love them! So, veterans get a big "thank you" from me and to know I am thankful for them.
Um... I don't think I have a veterans-y pic, so....
Today I am thankful for old friends. Real ones. Not friends that have known me for the last 7 years and I've only *thought* I've known them. Yesterday I got together with some of my "old friends" to remember and reminisce about our friend that passed away. It was nice to reconnect and see familiar faces and just sit and enjoy each other's company for an afternoon (an afternoon that was just too short as it turned out). I've known one friend since elementary school and the other since junior high. And for a period of time (mostly while I was living in San Diego) we lost touch or didn't communicate as frequently... but, yesterday was a great time to catch up and spend time together. And hopefully, continue to do so more in the future. I left that day thankful that after all this time, they're still wonderful people and best of all, they're still there.
1999 (I was a junior in high school)
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