JILLYBEAN25   25,174
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Goal Items

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

So, for my Spark Team, we've all decided to select a clothing item that we currently own that does not fit and make it a motivator to get back into it. I happen to have two items. And, since I'm not able to sleep, I will now commence posting my embarrassing pictures to track my progress in these items.

The first is a cocktail dress I bought and wore to a charity event a few years ago. It USED to look fabulous on me (as you can see, sort of).





The next item are a pair of Dickies Girl pinstripe pants. I had wanted a pair for FOREVER and I finally lost a ton of weight in Boston and was able to get a pair. Now... THIS:




So, there's my humbling experience in my time of sleepless crankiness. I gotta say, maybe its just me PMSing, struggling with change, my lack of sleep, intensely high stress level, disappointing weigh-in yesterday (gained BACK 4lbs, WTF!!!), poor eyesight without corrective lenses, fluctuating weather, posting extremely unflattering pics of myself for all of Spark to see... But, is there a way to make a team private by invitation only? Perhaps I'm skeptical from the last experience, but the point of our newly revamped team is so that each member functions as a constant support for the others. The idea of having another willy-nilly person show up and then decide they don't want in is simply irritating me right now. I learned my lesson after a year of being on Spark... if I'm not going to actively participate in a team, don't join it. We set down rules, goals, and a very well thought out plan for this year and discussed in depth how we wanted this team to be run and what we wanted out of it. If someone wants to join because they think "we'll be fun, or we seem nice or something" then not take the active role our team is founded on, they aren't fulfilling what I need them to fulfill in our team, what we all agreed we needed. Ok... I'm done ranting. And I've spent waaaaay too much time at this computer doing homework. I'm out. Peace, ya'll!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ERINBELLOWS1978 2/18/2009 5:57PM

    Jill I totally understand you!! I will actually look into this!! I'm fine w/ the few that we now have. I dont mind other people joining, but I'd like a committment from them!!
As for your pics- Well done!! Girl I know how you feel!! I hate the pics I took of myself in my pants and I CANNOT believe I put them up. OH well. It'll force me to look at them and do someting about it!!

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GIGGLES04 2/17/2009 9:30AM

    I totally agree with you about the "fairweather" team mate! We are all making a newfound commitment and others joining in just "because" isn't right. I guess there is no way to control it, just like we can't control life. But we know that we will always be here to support each other! Great post :)



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Second Weigh-In of the Year!

Sunday, February 01, 2009

I lost 3 more pounds in the last two weeks! Another victory for stressed out and burned out! Woo!

School is still hectic and crazy. It feels like this quarter is constantly fluid. Each week my schedule changes. My four classes are so much more demanding that I was originally led to believe. The workload is equal to 5 or 6 classes, easily. But, that's okay. I should be graduating in December and ya know what? That makes it so much better... knowing I'm less than a year away from such a big life goal! A can practically see that degree hanging up on my fridge! ;-) Hahaha!

Mostly, though... My stress is stemming from other things. Its about my feeling of imbalance. Like, I'm not juggling the elements of my life correctly or efficiently. Normally that's not the case. I'm pretty darn organized and methodical. Not so much lately. I feel like I have all these responsibilities and that everyone expects so much of me... and I already expect so much of myself. How can I live up to all these expectations? How can I do what I need to do for those who depend on me?

I'm the co-president of a club on campus for transfer and commuter students. I have two other leaders of this club: the other co-president and the vice president. I thank God I have the both of them because I could not be that responsible for the club. But, in all honesty, I feel like sometimes the responsibilities of the club become imbalanced. Last quarter I felt like I was having to do a lot of the work for the club. We have to have a representative go to an external committee to keep track of our club’s activities. I was doing that myself. I have to pay for the club’s supplies (I get reimbursed later), but that was always a hardship for me. I dunno if the others thought I was made of money or what, but I was not always okay going without groceries until I got reimbursed! I’m just as broke as they are. I’m always keeping track of what the other clubs on campus are doing. I’m arranging meetings. I’m making sure our events are organized and go off without a hitch. A lot of the time, I feel like I’m doing it all alone.

I’m also the transfer representative on our Student Council at Eleanor Roosevelt College. That’s not too terrible of a gig, actually. I sit through a meeting for 2-3 hours, once a week. Its when all the other things get added to the mix. Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday weekend I was required to march in a parade. Next week I have to help set up for an honored speaker that will be giving a speech at my college for our 20th Anniversary celebration. That night I have a dinner to attend with my friends- something that’s supposed to be fun and relaxing, but at this point in time feels like yet another obligation. And of course, I feel terrible for even feeling that way.

So that segues into my friends. I’ve been so busy this quarter (actually, we all have) that I haven’t seen my friends nearly as much as I usually do. I know they feel neglected. But, my priorities have changed slightly this quarter. I can’t sacrifice my time for them if I want to do well and graduate on time. I think its creating jealousy among them and to some degree, some resentment. There’s only one friend I have this quarter who’s schedule is actually very similar to mine, so I see him all the time. In fact, Mike’s the only one I really see on a regular basis. But, even then, when I’m “hanging out” with him, we’re studying or working out. He’s the only one of my best friends here that will work out with me.

And thank goodness he does. Cuz I’ve dropped 5 pounds in the month of January! I could have done better, but the first two weeks of this month were quite spotty. But, I am doing work on stage again (SO AWESOME!!!) and that gets me hot and sweaty (and filthy!), so I’m at least doing a lot of working out during that time! Then I get to my Pilates class once or twice a week. I play extreme racquetball or do a regular workout with Mike, once or twice a week. I eat healthy- making sure to get in lots of veggies and lean meats. I don’t deprive myself, but I watch my portions to make sure I don’t over do it. And even under all this stress, I still do well with activity and food intake!

So, why am I not sleeping well? Why is my stress not being managed? My insomnia is back, with a vengeance. And when I do sleep, usually 4-6 hours a night, I have these crazy vivid dreams all through the night. I wake up from them feeling just as exhausted as I did before going to sleep. Its like my brain never shut off and rested during my sleep. My doctor has expressed concern over this and is prescribing me some sleeping medications. I have to say, I’m pretty terrified of taking them. I don’t want to develop a dependence on them. It’s a medication that will be in and out of my body quickly… Like, 3-4 hours and then its out. It’ll help me fall asleep quickly, stay asleep for about 4 hours, I shouldn’t wake up groggy, and my few hours of sleep should be refreshing and recharging good quality sleep. I’ll only take them 3-4 nights a week. Because of the small amount of time the drug will be in my system, my body will have less of a chance to form a dependence on it. I have yet to fill the prescription. I don’t have a car… or money… so, that has to wait.

Oh yeah. Someone broke my only pair of prescription glasses last night. So, I’m screwed on that front as well. It’ll cost in the ‘hood of $260 for a new pair, if I’m not mistaken. Yup. That sucks. That’ll have to wait, too.

So… to make myself feel better: 5lbs, woohoo! Let’s see if I can beat that in February.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLAUDIA1333 2/2/2009 12:21PM

    Wow you sure do have a lot going on but it sounds like at least in terms of your spark mission you're handling it quite well. College is naturally tough, but remember if you can survive this than you'll be uber-prepared for real life. Keep up the great work and don't let the stress get you down!

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TMCFADD1 2/1/2009 9:22PM

    Jilly, your amazing! Your an amazing and dedicated young lady and what an inspiration. You do all you can not just for you but for others. No wonder your stressed out hon. Take it one day at a time. Prioritize your life and those things within it. I agree with Erin if you don't feel comfortable with taking the sleeping pills, don't. De-stress yourself at night. By a certain time say that's it and meditate on sleep. If you don't make time for you who else will?



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ERINBELLOWS1978 2/1/2009 10:28AM

    Jill- You are pushing yourself a little too hard honney!! Don't beat yourself up about it either. You are a committed, goal driven, determined woman!! That's something to be proud of. Just keep thinking after December YOU"RE DONE!!! It's almost over darlin! In a few weeks you'll have Spring Break coming up and you can relax-a little anyway! You've done amazing this month, with everything your doing and having to go through: your house being fixed(the smell-UGH), your clubs, your class load, and then to top things off your friends being a bunch of selfish punks!!(sorry) They will understand hon. If they love you the way I think they do, they just miss you! They'd rather you spend time w/ them than w/ your books-and if they all know and like Mike then they are probly a little jealeous of the time you get to spend w/ him.

Dont worry about the sleeping pills...if you're not comfortable w/ them then DONT take them. Try meditating before you go to bed. Deep breathing and stretching. Lights out and try relaxing from the top of your head all the way down to your toes. Go over each body part in slow motion-mentally tell each muscle and fiber to relax. Hopefully before you get to your toes you'll be asleep!! It's worth a shot babe. And WRITE. Carry a journal with you! It's no wonder your stressed, you hold everything in until you remember or find time to jot down a blog. You need to vent more, that will help you w/ your stress too. The more you write it out and vent your frusterations, the more you WONT go over and over and over it all before you sleep!! Good luck this month my friend. Just know that I at least think you're amazing and that I am very proud of you!!!

Erin

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2 Pounds down! (50 more to go)

Sunday, January 18, 2009

The last two weeks have been extraordinarily tough and stressful. Winter quarter started at UCSD and my schedule is already hell on earth! I am taking 4 classes, which believe it or not, is INSANE! They recommend sticking to 3 per quarter. But, I took 4 classes last quarter and still managed a 3.4 GPA. Booyah for me. Anyway, this quarter is going to be 10x harder than last, with practicum requirements to meet (that's where I work on a show; I am a lightboard operator for a dance show in March), as well as lab work for two classes, lectures, projects, papers, etc. for all the rest of them. I managed to schedule in a Pilates class, which I thoroughly enjoy! Too bad its only twice a week. Plus, I have a club meeting on Fridays, Student Council on Thursdays, and in my insanity would like to add a job to the mix!

The second week of school proved to be more stressful than the first! Unusual. Wednesday of the week was particularly horrible. I ended up in tears twice that day! Jeez. I still managed to get in a good workout.

I've been eating very well and healthy. I've only eaten out on weekends, and during the week pack my meals, breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner, to take to school with me (tricky, since I don't always have refrigeration available so I have to take non-perishable foods). Yay for me and healthy food!

At our gym on campus, they offer this thing called FitStop once a week. Its free! I was tested on all sorts of things... blood pressure, fitness endurance, body fat. It turns out I am in slightly better shape than I thought!

So, in all this, I managed to lose 2 more pounds of this horrible fat! Woot for me! I look forward to losing more and more as this year progresses.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ERINBELLOWS1978 1/19/2009 11:38AM

    Jill my friend, as I have said before, YOU ARE MY HERO!! I think I'm busy. NO freaking way!! You have so much going, it's amazing you remember to put your shoes on in the morning!! LOL
Honnie I am so proud of you!! YOu are doing so well to remember the keys for weightloss: consistant exercise and consistantly eating well-Perfectly ok to eat out on the weekends as long as it's not everyday!! You're doing great my friend!! Keep up the good work and we'll get this fat gone!!

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TMCFADD1 1/19/2009 12:32AM

    Jilly with all that you have going on in your life you still manage to remember you and what you really need. Kudos to you on the healthy food choices and the pilates class. That's a great way to get your exercise in. Well 2 under our belts. We can do girl! Keep up the good work.

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CLAUDIA1333 1/18/2009 9:33PM

    Hey stranger!!!! Congrats on losing those 2 pounds, and getting in shape while still doing crazy schoolwork! I know i sure couldn't do that when i was in school. Way to go! Have fun being a board op though, i sure did! Keep up the great work!!

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Lazy Man's Workout?

Friday, December 26, 2008

From Elle magazine

TAKE IT LYING DOWN
For each exercise, aim for two to three sets of 10 to 15 reps each. On the final rep, hold position for 10 seconds. Depending on how many of each you do, you’ll need about an hour to complete the routine.
• Grab your knees and roll like a ball back and forth along your spine.
• Straighten your arms in front of you and lift legs and trunk to form a V, then lower.
• Holding legs at a 45-degree angle to the floor, do sit-ups rotating toward opposite knee.
• Extend arms straight, palms on floor. Raise legs perpendicular to floor. Lower without touching the ground. Repeat, but only drop legs halfway.
• Lift legs to a 90-degree angle, lower to one side, center, and rotate to opposite side.
• Raise arms and legs to meet directly above body. Lower without touching the floor.
• Bend knees at a 90-degree angle to floor. Lift chest straight up in three small steps to reach legs. Pulse chest up to either side.
• Flip onto stomach, and extend arms straight ahead into Superman pose. Raise all limbs as high as you can, then lower to floor.
• On all fours, raise one leg into an L, and extend arm on opposite side perpendicular to body. Hold for 10 seconds, then switch.
• Still on hands and knees, prop on forearms, raise bent knee and circle, changing directions after 20 reps. Switch sides.
• Extend into a push-up and lift one leg straight up, cross it down over the opposite leg, raise it again, and return to start, alternating legs.
• Lift one leg, then squeeze shoulder blades and release. Switch legs.
• Roll body to one side, balancing on hand. Stack feet and raise top leg, holding for 10 seconds, then rotate sides.
• Sit up, put one foot on the ground, and extend other leg. Trace an L in the air, then circle leg, changing directions after 20 reps. Switch.
• With legs and chest at 45-degree angles to the floor, write Social Security number with legs.
• Put hands and one foot on floor, and lift your bottom. Flex and extend elbows to raise and lower trunk, working triceps.
• Move up into a runner’s stretch, with one foot on the floor, knee bent 90 degrees, and opposite leg extended. Hold for 10 seconds, then place both hands inside of front foot, lift heel, and push slightly onto hind foot. Switch.
• End by lying across the floor, closing eyes, and meditating for five minutes.

Other excerpts from the article:
An independent clinical trial of 40 women commissioned by Nude skin care found that after three months of twice-daily application of its Smoothing Body Refiner lotion, all participants had shed weight—an average of 6.1 pounds—without dieting. (The control group lost nothing.) It sounds insane, I know. The company founders claim that fig and organic mountain ash help the body flush fat cells. I don’t know about that, seeing as countless doctors have told me that lipo is the only way to remove fatty tissue, but I slather on the Nude lotion like a woman possessed. Before, I’d never moisturized below my neck on a regular basis. (See? Lazy.) I don’t lose six pounds, but then again, I test it for only 30 days. However, my figure gets slimmer (but could it be my new floor plan?).

I also make a change at the office. In France, Contrex water bottles litter their desks the way coffee cups litter ours. That’s because the H2O, loaded with calcium, is rumored to accelerate weight loss. It’s not crazy talk: A study published by the Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biology found that the mineral speeds fat-burning in mice. I already swig three liters of water daily; swapping in Contrex is easy, though it does leave a weird broccoli-like aftertaste.

Then there are the FitFlops, brainchild of Bliss founder Marcia Kilgore, who designed the shoes with the help of biomechanics experts at London’s South Bank University Centre for Human Performance. FitFlops are reputed to deliver “a workout while you walk.” This is due to the differing density in their soles, which supposedly destabilize and strengthen leg muscles, the same principle as MBTs, those vaguely orthopedic sneakers. Unfortunately, FitFlops don’t come in my size (11), so I enlist a coworker to give them a spin. We agree on one commonality between these sandals and MBTs: Both are quite ugly. (There’s hope: Manhattan’s ultracool Kirna Zabête boutique is carrying an exclusive, and more attractive, Gladiator version.) But she reports FitFlops are comfortable and that she can tell they’re working her feet, as well as her tush.

  


RIP My Kitty

Friday, October 31, 2008


So... I got a great phone call this evening as my student council meeting was wrapping up.


Some stupid, speeding motherf*cker hauled ass down my residential street in El Centro...

... and killed my cat.


I now have no more cats. Mart was the last surviving feline. He may have been a little bit of an asshole, but dammit, I loved that cat! He was beastly, but he loved.


Thank you to my neighbor Tony, who was kind enough to bury him in the backyard next to Poodie (my cat I buried 2 years ago.)


RIP Elroy "Mart" Fitzpatrick

I had you 9 years. I already miss you.
:,-(

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ERINBELLOWS1978 11/3/2008 12:30PM

    Jilly!! I'm so sorry for your loss!! I still miss my cat of 12 years!! Also kind of an ass, but I too loved that "damn" cat!!

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CLAUDIA1333 11/2/2008 1:47AM

    *HUGZ* My condolences for your loss. Sudden like that is sometimes the worst. Take care.

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SPRING4FAL 11/1/2008 1:20AM

    Oh Jill, so super sorry to hear about your poor kitty. May he rest in peace!!! Hugs to you my friend!!!

Leah

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SWIMMERYOGINI 10/31/2008 5:07PM

  I am SO sorry. What a horrible way to end the week and the month, and what an asshole to drive that way!

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SCHWINNER! 10/31/2008 8:06AM

    emoticon So sorry to hear about your kitty :(
My sister recently lost her dog to a stupid, speeding asshole as well.

Hang in there. I know nothing can help except for some time.
emoticon

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