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30 Days of Thankful 2013 Edition- Day 9

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Day 9

Today I am thankful for enchiladas verdes. Some of ya'll may not know this (but, many of you will recall) that I have a weakness for cheese enchiladas. And normally I stick to the traditional: cheese, corn tortillas, and red sauce. And then more cheese sprinkled on top. I used to eat such a concoction weekly, but since moving back home (almost coming up on a year now) I have ceased to eat any enchilada with such frequency. I'm sure my arteries are thankful for that.

One day, on a strange whim, I decided to get a green enchilada sauce in lieu of my usual red. And I never looked back. My only regret is not discovering the amazingness that is the green enchilada sooner! I'm not sure it'll please my arteries, but it sure pleases my tastebuds.

Yesterday my mom put a pork roast of some butt/shoulder sort in the crockpot. Today I used some of it to make cheese and pork enchiladas verdes. I am astonished that despite my depression, I have retained some sense of self-control with eating (not always, mind you, but today was a definite victory) and limited myself to just TWO enchiladas. I did, however, make two full casserole dishes of enchiladas so that I could feast on the leftovers.

Thank you, green enchiladas, for being a thing.

I may or may not have licked my plate.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GREGGWEISBROD 11/12/2013 4:44PM

    lol, I may or may not lick the bowl after eating an amazing ice cream sundae. :-D Enchiladas are the freakin bomb! I am soooo hungry now, lol.

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SMILINGTREE 11/12/2013 11:13AM

    I adore green sauce.

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BEFIT_WITHGUSTO 11/11/2013 12:12PM

    That looks so good, Jill! I've never made enchiladas before but your blog is tempting me to do so!

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JSALERNO 11/10/2013 6:53AM


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30 Days of Thankful 2013 Edition- Day 7 & 8 (& training)

Friday, November 08, 2013

Day 7

I'm reluctantly thankful for Starbuck's Salted Caramel Mochas. They're so damn good and so damn terrible for you. I never remember to get it with nonfat milk. I like whip, too, so I'm going to have some whip with that! The only thing semi-healthy I do when getting one of these bad boys is to order it with light salt ('cuz ain't nobody needing more sodium in their diet!) Oh, and I get a tall instead of, ya know, like a trenta. Not that I could down that much coffee if I tried. At least these aren't a daily thing for me... more like a once or twice a week treat. So, thank you Starbucks for making these delicious beverages and allowing me to start my day off with something that at least tastes fabulous and doesn't toy with my emotions like certain heartless, soulless guys I know.

Day 8
Today I'm legit thankful for good shoes. I mean, if I had to try to train for a 5k in flip-flops, life would literally be a constant suckfest of foot and ankle issues, amirite? I got me these awesome grey and blue beasts to support my pain-in-the-ass high arches and my pansy weak ankles. I'm super jelly of the people that have those mega-bright fluorescent or 1980's neon colors athletic shoes. I'd rock me some bright, see-me-with-the-Hubble-Telescope green trainers if I could! A girl can dream... in the meantime, these babies do the job. Thanks, New Balance, for being off the f***in' chain!

As you can probably notice, I have somewhat lost my mind today. I got up to get ready for my counseling session and my psychologist had an emergency come up and had to cancel on me last minute. :-( Of all weeks, too, huh? So, she's going to check her appointment schedule to see if she can fit me in early in the week instead of waiting until next Friday at our regularly schedule meeting. Instead, my bro's gf and I went to Starbucks for a coffee and pastry. I had a mini-session with her and cried in public. During the morning rush. Again. I guess I'd be embarrassed under normal circumstances, but depression and lost emotions aren't normal. No only do I feel played, but I'm so sad at how easy it was for him to treat me like a piece of nothing and then walk away from a 6 or 7 year friendship. I hope it was worth it to him, 'cuz it sure wouldn't have been to me. Then again, I'm equipped with a heart and soul.

So, I also forced my self to train again. Hoping for another boost of anti-depressant interval run-induced endorphins. Maybe that's where all the sarcasm is coming from. My mom came along with me and rode her adult trike. It was nice having her join. She's gained a lot of weight and needs to get out and move, so it was good for her to go. Maybe she'll do it more. I dunno what the deal is with the phone service in my area (oh yeah, it SUCKS) so my phone's GPS couldn't get a lock on me and my numbers for this got a bit screwed up, so I had to come home and do some math. And I hate math. Anyway, according to my calculations, I did slightly better this time around than on Tuesday's training. Went from just over a 16 minute mile to somewhere around a 15 mile. I did discover that I think I've been training slightly wrong, so I'll be adjusting for my next training day (tomorrow, I guess). The wording for the training here on Spark is a little ambiguous, so I misunderstood my instructions... Now I've got some clarity and understanding. Will be adjusting accordingly.

This weekend the goal is to make a space in the living room to get the treadmill in. Then I won't have to breathe in the dust and dirt and pollen and factory air and crop dusting pesticides and whatever else is in the air in this "wonderful" place. Meh, who am I kidding? That crap is in the house, too. But, at least I can do my training in a more controlled way in a more controlled environment. With less risk of shin splints.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GREGGWEISBROD 11/12/2013 4:41PM

    Mmmmmmmm, that Starbucks drink looks effin amazing! They never made those when I worked there, but that was also a bajillion years ago... yes, that would be before the beginning of time itself. I totally am gonna make sure I have enough calories available tonight and go order one of those!! :-D

You know, love is such a stupid mess of hot, smelly, wonderful, sad, ridiculous, amazing, and also heart-breaking emotions. That he was your friend first only makes it that much harder I am sure. It really is awesome though that you have friends whose real shoulders can bear the weight of your tears. That is something to definitely be thankful for.

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SMILINGTREE 11/12/2013 11:12AM

    I rather enjoyed this sarcastic entry :)

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JSPIN74 11/11/2013 3:50PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SDLOV3R 11/8/2013 7:00PM

    Jill, you are an amazing, capable, WORTHY woman. I am so glad to know you and thankful that you allow me to be a support in your life. emoticon

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30 Days of Thankful 2013 Edition- Day 6

Thursday, November 07, 2013

Day 6

I'm still struggling with everything that's happened in the last few days.

Anyway, today I'm thankful for Netflix. I don't have cable. I don't even have a t.v. I haven't had cable service for about 4 years. So, most of my entertainment comes from Netflix. In a way I'm glad. Television can suck up sooooo much time if you let it. People think it's weird when they find out I don't do television, but I honestly love it. Yes, there are a few shows that I wish I could watch (The Walking Dead, Once Upon a Time, also the Wonderland version, Downton Abbey, Ghost Adventures...) but, really, there aren't enough shows that I regularly [would] watch to justify the cost of having cable.

So, Netflix instant streaming works great for me. I watch the same stuff over and over anyway (Futurama!!!! YOW!!!) and really I only need a movie on for the background noise about 95% of the time. The $8 a month for Netflix is just right for my needs. (It is remarkable that Netflix plays on my dinosaur laptop, too.) Thanks Netflix!

Spark resizes things ridiculously small. This one was my April Fool's category: Movies That are in English But Still Require Subtitles.

This one was an odd recommendation: because I watched Family Guy it recommended I watch The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. What?!?!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GREGGWEISBROD 11/8/2013 3:46PM

    Snatch and Trainspotting... brilliant! :-D

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ARCHIMEDESII 11/7/2013 12:52PM

    You're not alone. I don't have cable. I refuse to pay for TV !! LOL !!

I can't see paying for cable. If there is something I want to watch, I can watch on the network website. I like Once Upon a Time too. If I miss an ep, I can rewatch it here.


Many network shows do that. Cable shows, you have to wait a bit. but eventually, you can find full episodes of any of your favorite shows posted on YOUTUBE. that's another great place to watch TV. lol

I know the last few days and been rough, but remember you are a strong woman !! things will improve !!

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SMILINGTREE 11/7/2013 12:45PM

    Having Netflix and not cable would suit me, but not my husband. He loves Adult Swim (and Futurama, too!)

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ARUNNINGKAT 11/7/2013 12:06PM

    I would love to drop our TV, but it is a hard sell with my hubby into just about every sport there is. I have noticed it taking so much of our time in the evenings and I don't like it. That being said, I LOVE Netflix and have a whole list of movies on my list that I want to watch some day. emoticon

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ROSEPETAL80 11/7/2013 4:22AM

    We do the same. We have a tv but dropped cable and use hulu and netflix. MUCH cheaper.

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30 Days of Thankful 2013 Edition- Day 5

Wednesday, November 06, 2013

Day 5

This is a tough one because the last thing in the world I'm feeling right now is thankful for anything.

Discovering (through FACEBOOK no less!) the guy you've been dating is in a relationship with another woman is a tough pill to swallow. I did write him a note on FB telling him that I was very hurt by this turn of events. I even took the high road: I didn't use any foul language. I didn't tell him what a big, fat effin' jerk he was. I didn't even try to guilt trip him by telling him how much I've agonized over the last several weeks wondering what I had done wrong to make him back off so suddenly, taking on the blame and guilt myself and ultimately having to seek out counseling from a psychologist because I've lost control of my life and my emotions... Nope. I kept it short and sweet. "You cut me off because you didn't want to see me and decided not to tell me. It hurt." That's pretty much it.

He wrote me back an explanation and apology. I didn't even want to read it, but my OCD kicks into gear big time on FB and having that little number notification on the side drives me nuts! So, I waited until WAY after to read it. Turns out he met this gal back in July (and started dating me literally within weeks after that) and that he's basically been stringing me along this whole time. He never wanted to be with me. He wanted to be with her. I got used. And it doesn't feel good. At all.

I did make myself go on a walk/jog today to start training for Iron Girl in December. I also thought it would help be a de-stress, antidepressant... not so much today. I discovered it is very difficult to sob uncontrollably while still trying to jog/walk briskly. Also, I didn't have any kleenex with me. And most of my route was going into the wind. Which made breathing difficult. I still somehow managed to pull off about a 16 minute mile and I did 2.32 miles. Not bad considering I haven't done much since my ankle went bunk at the beginning of October.

Anyway, on to the "thankfulness" bullsh*t part of this post... Leah is always telling me that sometimes our emotions follow our actions. In other words, fake it 'til you make it! So, I'm going to FAKE being thankful for this, and hope that eventually I really will be thankful...

I'm thankful for not only myself, but for anyone else who has ever "dodged a bullet" so to speak by having someone reveal their true colors before you got in too deep. He has always been a nice guy and that is what he projects himself to be. I think he does so because he sincerely WANTS to be a nice guy, but his true self is a thoughtless, soulless, stereotypical man-jerk. He said I was nothing but a good friend to him, through all the crap he's been going through lately and that's he's sorry. Cold comfort and hard to believe from someone I can no longer trust. I guess I'm glad I found out now that I can't trust him instead of sometime down the line.

I don't have a photo today. Sorry.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GREGGWEISBROD 11/8/2013 3:45PM

    Ugh. That guy makes me want to vomit... all over him. I'm thankful that you found it in yourself to not only write about it all, but to do so in such a wonderfully brilliant way. You're actually quite delightful to read in your wonderfully scathing tone. I hope you shake off the emotions of the past while that have been the result of this colossal bunghole. Good luck with your training, I'm kind of excited to read how that goes. Hope your ankle is alright!

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BEFIT_WITHGUSTO 11/6/2013 1:57PM

    Well, at least you have some closure and you don't have to keep thinking you did something wrong....IT WAS ALL HIM!! I'm so sorry. Dealing with guys can be so rough, especially when they're as insensitive as this guy. Good for you for getting out there and running! 16 minute mile is great! Looking forward to seeing you next month!

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ARUNNINGKAT 11/6/2013 12:16PM

    I have done more than my fair share of trying to run while crying - and you are right, it doesn't work so well. But on the bright side, I am glad you went out for a run. That is probably just about the healthiest options you could have chosen under the circumstances. And I am so sorry this guy turned out to be such a loser. You are right. It is good that you found out now, but that doesn't take away the pain and heartache. emoticon

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DSHONEYC 11/6/2013 11:11AM

    emoticon Yes, my friend - you have to kiss a lot of frogs out there.

I am so sorry for your hurt. I know what it feels like. It was April 2000 when I finally discovered "He will never leave you".

While I have not found my soul mate (still), I am at peace with His love and am looking in some better places now.

Thinking and praying for you, sweet and trusting woman.

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SMILINGTREE 11/6/2013 8:58AM

    In the moment it's probably really hard to be thankful, but really...you don't want someone who is less than honest to play the love-interest in the story of your life. And big congratulations on the jog/walk! It had to help -- even if it didn't feel great. I remember sobbing a time or two last winter while attempting to train for the half marathon. You're right - it's not easy.

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BLUENOSE63 11/6/2013 4:14AM

  Well that sucks! I sincerely hope that your life takes an upswing after this debacle with FB. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and if you have to cry doing it, so be it. This guy is acting like a jerk and you can and will do better!

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30 Days of Thankful 2013 Edition- Day 4

Tuesday, November 05, 2013

Day 4

Today I am thankful for Louis. He's my brother's cat technically, but very much "everyone's" cat. He certainly spends a lot of time with me. They say having pets is good for your health (but maybe not my allergies) and I do tend to enjoy my life more when I have pets around. Living in San Diego for 4 years without a pet was kinda a bummer, especially since I've had pets since I was 8 years old.

Louis is a sweet cat. Everyone that gets the chance to interact with him immediately falls in love with his chubby, squeaky, fuzziness. He loves my gray robe, too. He'll come and sit in my lap and just purr and knead my robe and stay there. I actually find it very relaxing to have him come snuggle with me. Occasionally he sleeps in my room with me. He has this high-pitched squeaky meow that's adorable and he always extends one paw to you when he's talking to you. He doesn't have those tiny little teeth between his fangs, so there's just black gums there. It makes it funny watch him meow or yawn since it's like this dark emptiness. Like a cute hillbilly cat. Anyway, he's a treasure and really helped me heal when the MeowMeow passed away.

How could your heart not melt with that lil' punam!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KARENE10 11/6/2013 8:50PM

    Hillbilly cat~ emoticon emoticon emoticon SO funny! He does sound like a sweetie emoticon

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DSHONEYC 11/5/2013 2:42PM

    emoticon Ahhhhhhhh. I love my kitties.

It is good to share your life with animals.

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ARCHIMEDESII 11/5/2013 1:34PM

    Now that is a contented looking cat !!

I do miss having a cat. They do make good companions even though they tear around the house on Saturday nights. LOL !!


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ARUNNINGKAT 11/5/2013 12:07PM

    Oh he looks a lot like my cat, Libby! So cute! And she does some of those poses too!

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