JILLYBEAN25   24,071
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RIP My Kitty

Friday, October 31, 2008

So... I got a great phone call this evening as my student council meeting was wrapping up.

Some stupid, speeding motherf*cker hauled ass down my residential street in El Centro...

... and killed my cat.

I now have no more cats. Mart was the last surviving feline. He may have been a little bit of an asshole, but dammit, I loved that cat! He was beastly, but he loved.

Thank you to my neighbor Tony, who was kind enough to bury him in the backyard next to Poodie (my cat I buried 2 years ago.)

RIP Elroy "Mart" Fitzpatrick

I had you 9 years. I already miss you.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ERINBELLOWS1978 11/3/2008 12:30PM

    Jilly!! I'm so sorry for your loss!! I still miss my cat of 12 years!! Also kind of an ass, but I too loved that "damn" cat!!

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CLAUDIA1333 11/2/2008 1:47AM

    *HUGZ* My condolences for your loss. Sudden like that is sometimes the worst. Take care.

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SPRING4FAL 11/1/2008 1:20AM

    Oh Jill, so super sorry to hear about your poor kitty. May he rest in peace!!! Hugs to you my friend!!!


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SWIMMERYOGINI 10/31/2008 5:07PM

  I am SO sorry. What a horrible way to end the week and the month, and what an asshole to drive that way!

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SCHWINNER! 10/31/2008 8:06AM

    emoticon So sorry to hear about your kitty :(
My sister recently lost her dog to a stupid, speeding asshole as well.

Hang in there. I know nothing can help except for some time.

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Back in the Saddle Again!!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Getting my wisdom teeth out was simultaneously a huge pain in the ass and a ginormous blessing. I was so ill for two weeks. But, I lost 14lbs. (I've gained some back, as I should expect for a body going into starvation mode.) I've been eating very well as of late. I've resisted temptation, as posted on one of my team message boards:

"I am soooo proud of myself! I went to a costume party last night, and I was the designated driver, so I drank water all night long. Then, the people I was with were hungry, so we went to a sort of fast food style Mexican food place at 2am... a place that serves almost nothing light or healthy- carne asada burritos, rolled tacos, french fries smothered in cheese, carne asada, and guacamole. Yeah, that last one was tough to resist. But, I didn't order anything. At all. I watched my 4 friends eat amazing looking, delicious smelling food, and I didn't have a bite. I looked on the menu and there was not one thing that could have been even remotely healthy, so I opted out."

The biggest challenge I've faced with having my teeth yanked outta my skull (oh, they let me bring them home, too!) was getting energy back. UCSD is not an easy campus to get around. Its all hills, nothing is close to each other, and I don't have a car so I walk to a shuttle that takes me to campus... with my nerdy wheelie backpack in tow. I've been extremely motivated to get this weight off and get some exercise. That 14lbs and being holed up in bed for my recovery did wonders for my stupid broken feet! I know I would be so much better without all this extra fat hangin' off these bones!

So, I went to a gym two days in a row- Sunday and Monday. Today I took a break because I'm a little too sore and I didn't get any sleep last night. I was up late doing homework. Tomorrow I will make it back to the gym! I've been going with one of my best friends, and he's a karate instructor, so he kicks my butt! Its awesome!

I've also been making very health conscious decisions regarding food. I had a little disappointment, though, yesterday at lunch. There's a Subway on campus, so I wanted to get a $5 Footlong, and one of them happens to be the under 6g of fat (per 6" inches) and I figured I could get two lunches out of it. I got my roasted chicken breast on wheat bread, all veggies, no cheese, no mayo, extra mustard, and I requested vinegar, NO OIL! For some reason, the opposite happened before I knew it. She put oil and no vinegar on. So, my 5g of fat chicken breast sandwich jumped to about 15+g! Unfortunately, it was during the lunch rush. I was in line for almost 15 full minutes, there were literally about 25 people in line behind me, so I didn't feel like I could request a new sandwich. I was super frustrated. I know it was a mistake, but I was deliberately trying to be healthier and good. I also forgot to eat breakfast today, too.

I was reading something recently that made me feel a little better about the decisions I make regarding this health journey I'm on. Sometimes people can be more successful if they are doing it for someone else. I know everyone always says "you should do it for you!" Well, ya know what... eff that! So far, "doing it for me" isn't working. I'm doing this for the man of my dreams. I'm doing this for my waaaaay in the future children (which I've been informed could be twins, as that gene runs in his family... fabulous. :-| ). And at the tail end of it, I'm doing it for me. Maybe that's the kind of motivation that will work for me. At least for now. I'm okay with that. I'll change that should the need arise later.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ERINBELLOWS1978 11/3/2008 12:34PM

    I am so damn proud of you MIss Jilly!! I'm so glad your feet are feeling better and that you have someone to "Kick your butt" That always helps! My Butt Kicker moved to Florida so I'm kind of stuck kicking my own butt, which doesnt always happen!! Hahaha...I'm so very proud of you-Keep up the good work!!

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SPRING4FAL 10/30/2008 12:05PM

    Howdy friend!!

Glad to know that things are looking up and you are doing well. Bummer about those stupid wisdom teeth but the weight loss as a side effect is an added bonus!!! LOL!!! I am proud of you for trying (and succeeding) in making healthy food choices. I have to say that is the BIGGEST part of losing weight. You can workout all the time but if you don't eat accordingly, there won't be any progress.

Cheers to you on a job well done! Keep it up!


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CLAUDIA1333 10/29/2008 10:52AM

    Hey jillybean! Glad you're back and recovered from your wisdom teeth. I'm kind of jealous you got to bring yours home. My eldest brother did too, but mine were impacted so no teeth for me. Congrats on doing so well eating and not giving in to the delicious but so not healthy food temptations. Go you! I also agree with the last bit about doing it for you. Sure, I'm doing this for me, but I'm also doing this for my boyfriend who loves me regardless. He loved me 30 pounds ago and thought i was sexy and beautiful even when I didn't. So I want to be the uber-sexy girl I know I can that he can brag about around town. ;-) hehehe. Take care. Happy Hump Day!

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Cut 'em off! Gimme prosthetics!

Thursday, July 24, 2008


Bad news at the doctor today. I finally got my poor broken pata's under an x-ray machine. The miracle of technology- it only took 10 minutes for me to view my foot pics. So, my doc shows me the top shots of my feet, which look fine. But, the profile shot (side views)... well... let's just say you don't need to be a doctor to see that there was something abnormal. The part that I was trying to avoid, the one thing I *didn't* want to happen did indeed happen- both my feet have spurred.

For those not in the know (I really didn't have a visual until today), when the injury- which is located in the tendon in the arch- is untreated or continues to be in its injured state, the point at which the tendon adheres to the heel bone becomes strained. The straining begins to cause the bone to calcify... in other words, the bone grows outwards, into a weird looking point. Thus the pain.

My doc told me (and I quote) "You have the feet of a 40-year-old." He went on to say that I must have been in extreme pain this whole time. Which is true more or less... but, I consider myself such a "badass" that I laugh in the face of pain! Not really, but I think I just got used to it after a while.

Now the "real" healing shall begin. I'm to see a podiatrist asap. I will most likely begin a regimen of light physical therapy, injection therapy (I dunno what they'll inject), and have some specially made orthotics/insoles for me to wear. If the above treatments aren't successful, I'll have to have surgery to remove the calcification/spur. I hope it doesn't come to that.

Oddly enough, out of all this, I have not been told to stay off my feet. I told the doc I was going on a hike this Saturday with my San Diego Sparkteam and he said awesome times... Told me to take some pain meds before heading out the door, and then take some more when I get back and soak my feet in ice water (or just ice them down).

Now, I'm just frustrated. I'm scared that if I do keep on my feet and exercise and such, that I'm going to be making this injury worse. But, if I don't exercise and lose some weight, I'm still going to be straining my broken feet! What's a girl supposed to do?

The x-ray above is NOT my foot, but shows you what I'm talking about. Obviously that point is NOT supposed to be at the bottom of a normal heel bone. But, I've got one on each foot! Hooray for me!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLAUDIA1333 7/26/2008 5:18PM

    Hey glad to hear from you again, but wow does that look like it hurts! And in both feet? I think you should get an award for pulling that one off,lol. I hope the injections and therapy work for you. Hope you're having a great weekend!

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12SILVERROSES 7/24/2008 9:20PM

    Have you thought about swimming? Or Upper body, ab work, and things like leg lifts, instead of exercises that put you standing on your feet? Just a thought.

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If I sabotage my life any more, the CIA will have to arrest me

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Good Lord. I am on a downward spiral. In everything I've got to do.

I haven't gotten any exercise in in about two weeks. I have eated horribly. I haven't tracked anything- food, exercise, etc in even longer. I'm sure I'm way back over my start weight!

I have so much homework that I keep putting off. University is not the place to do that. I've gotten an F on one assignment so far. I've gotten a C on something I turned in late, but would have gotten a B if it had been on time. That is not like me. I'm an A and B student.

I haven't slept in two weeks.

I have so many "little" obligations to meet in the coming weeks. I can't seem to get my brain to seperate them into small, manageable tasks- I just keep seeing the bigger picture. I have to send my transcripts to a local community college for summer school, my wisdom teeth need to be removed- first I need to find a dentist and the money for copays, I have to go to summer school, I need to find a house for next year, I need to get and send my mom a Mother's Day gift, I have to work Friday afternoon, Saturday morning, I have another assignment to finish that was due YESTERDAY, and one that's due this Friday, next week I have to see a play for class, my friend is visiting this Saturday before she goes to Europe for 2 months... I'm going to stop there. All these tasks need to be accomplished in the next few weeks.

I'm slipping into shutdown mode. I'm trying not to, but this is difficult for me. I am feeling completely overwhelmed. OVER-WHELMED!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ERINBELLOWS1978 5/10/2008 11:10AM

    Jilly...honnie relax!! Take a deep breath!! You can do this!! It's time management. I know it seems like there is never enough time in the day, but you are such a strong person that you will get through this. Take one thing at a time. Make a list and prioritize it. List what's most important first and go from there. Do one thing at a time. You HAVE to go to class, you HAVE to go to work, and you HAVE to sleep. Inbetween just take a deep breath and jump in. Do one project at a time and focus only on that and as your list shrinks things will get better. Dont stress too much honnie. I know it seems like a lot, but you'll get through it. Keep posting and blogging. It's the best therapy!! Just write it out and a little of the stress comes out thru your fingers. I'll keep your fingers crossed for you kiddo!!


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CASSIEKC 5/8/2008 9:11AM

    Hey hun ... one day at a time okay?

So the past two weeks weren't the greatest .. you can change that today! Dont be too hard on yourself .. school is stressful .. have a great thursday!

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CLAUDIA1333 5/7/2008 11:39PM

    oh hun I so remember those days. Just remember to breathe! It sure sounds like your life in insane right now but it's ok. Do you have a daily planner? Maybe it would help if you actually sat down and wrote down everything you have to do and set a schedule for when to do it all (if you haven't already). College is really hard for those of us unlucky enough to have weight control issues but you will get through this and when you do you will continue farther on your path to better health! You can only do the best you can. Good luck!!

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ZORAHGAIL 5/7/2008 4:10PM

    OMG I totally hear you :)


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SWEETZMIX 5/7/2008 3:48PM

    Hey Girl!!! Listen I know life gets sO crazy. I work full time, I go to school, I got other priorities, appointments...the whole nine. This is what I do:

I go lay down & rest when I feel like this. I lay down & think about what is truly important & prioritize. I sit there & say work is the most important because then I can't pay rent. Then I say school is next, & let me get on my game & take care of this work. I procrastinate a lot with school work, but I don't like bad grades either. I sacrifice going out & cooking & everything to make sure the assignment is due on time. I break down everything from there & try to remember school ends next week.

It's like I have to say to myself what is really important. I let people know this is going on & I am not free. About not sparking and doing all the good stuff. Go & get a good workout...it will help relive the stress. Then just start working out again when u can. As of today tell urself, I may not have time to work out but I am not going to keep eating this way. Make better choices & start tracking ur food.

I hope everything works our for u!!!!

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KYRRDIS 5/7/2008 3:32PM

    I had to come look when I saw the title.


Stop. Clear your mind of EVERYTHING. If you must have a mental image, picture yourself on the beach. Take a deep breath. Take another deep breath. Do this until the buzzing in your mind stops.

Now, hear this: You will survive this time. Good results, bad results, it doesn't matter. You will survive this time, and in the grand scheme of your life and its cosmic meaning, it is only one tiny brilliant speck of stress.

Time will march on, and this crisis period will be over.

Now: Make a list of everything you need to do and put it into some sort of chronological order (happens on Monday, happens on Tuesday, etc.). Put it on paper or in your computer. Stop holding all these details in your mind at one time - this is part of the problem.

Picture your life as a ball of multicolored yarn. Instead of staring at the mess, pick one strand out at a time. You can only do one thing at a time. Focus on doing that one thing, then go to the next thing (check your list to find out what that is). Let go of what happened with the LAST thing you did. You need the brain space for NOW.

Finally: Make some time for sleeping. If you CANNOT sleep, and it's been two weeks, you need to see a doctor. Your sanity is more important than whether you get your wisdom teeth out right now.

I wish you luck and a better-behaving brain in the future. You will make it through this.

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New Quarter, New Plan

Monday, March 31, 2008

Yup, that's me up there... using the fat kid's trick- the oldest one in the book- BAGGY CLOTHING! I'm too ashamed to post the one of me scarfing the s'more! Hahaha!!!

So, my plantar fasciitis was officially diagnosed by a medical professional. It's been difficult in the healing process. The best way to heal is to stay off your feet. Yeah, right! Like THAT'S gonna happen! I have stayed off them as much as possible.

That means having to modify my routine. I haven't gotten any kind of "real" exercise since being injured (and school has been a tremendous struggle all quarter), so now I've come up with a few new ways to get moving without straining my poor patas.

First, and this is the one I'm really excited for, I'm taking a swim aerobics class. This one comes straight from a suggestion by a wonderful, gracious member that commented on my last blog. I think she's correct in that swimming and staying in the water will reduce the strain on my arches. Plus, I know I'll get a swell workout! I go twice a week, and I have 2 swimming pools in my apartment complex.

Second, using the resources here at Sparkpeople, I've favorited some exercises that are geared for people to do sitting at their desk. If I can't be standing, then I can at least workout while sitting, right? It's at least a start until the tootsies heal completely. I've got to do something!

Thirdly, I need to be more diligent when it comes to eating better. I'm a major emotional eater and when I stress, I grab anything in sight. I've made a list, printed it out, and hung it on the wall of my guidelines. They are as follows:

"No More Fat Ass"

1) Exercise 3-4 times a week
* 30-40 mins. Cardio [Treadmill, elliptical, stairs, bicycle, etc]
* 2-3 days of hammer strength [work each muscle group]
* 2-3 days of circuit weights [work each muscle group]
* 2-3 days of core training [choose 3 exercises per day]
* 10 mins. of Stretching [stretch each muscle group worked]
* Explore new exercises: boxing, aerobics classes, walking in the ‘hood, etc.

2) Eat healthier meals
* Add more fruits and vegetables
* Add more whole grain
* Add soy products
* Add lean meats [fish, chicken, etc.]
* Reduce fats, red meats, salts, carbs, calories, etc.
* Take vitamins daily!

3) Make better choices
* Split the meals
* Choose Chicken!
* No fried foods!
* Drink water
* Don’t be lazy!
* Take the stairs
* Get adequate sleep

So, those, in addition to academic goals, are what I'm focusing on for the next 11 weeks. Healing feet, losing weight, and getting healthy in addition to good grades and quality work... I have quite a quarter ahead. I'm looking forward to [most] of it!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLAUDIA1333 4/11/2008 1:23PM

    Wow, sounds like you've got a lot going on, but congrats on taking these steps while in school. I know how stressful being a college student, esp a theatre one can be and never had the energy or motivation to do anything more than stress about it along with the rest of college! lol. Sorry to hear about plantar fascitis, my aunt's had it and i can understand it's a huge pain!! It's really awesome that you took it as an opportunity to look into alternative exercises instead of a reason to give up. Your goals for the rest of the quarter are looking good! Good luck!!!

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LORENE1955 4/7/2008 9:54PM

    You know - I'm prone to things like plantar fascitis, too. I'm also having a pretty strong flare up of my fibromyalgia symptoms right now. I try to do EVERYTHING intuitively - and I visualize what I want a lot. I find that sometimes just doing ANYTHING beats the heck out of doing nothing - so even though I might not be working myself really hard - I'll get out and just go for a stroll, maybe. Being out in the sun and moving around helps me to feel better and release some of my blues - and pumps me up emotionally and mentally enough for me to keep up with my program.

I think you've set some real concrete, realistic goals for yourself.

See you thinner!


PS - I lived in San Diego for 26 years - I just love it there and miss it SOOOO much! Enjoy the beach! It's a wonderful place to keep yourself moving. I walked on it as much as I could when I lived there.

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SPRING4FAL 3/31/2008 8:30PM

    Congrats on turning over a new leaf. Your goals are great and "do-able." I hope that this leads to success and once you get a taste of it, it is very motivational and you will want to keep going!!! Eating is EVERYTHING when you can't workout like you want to. Way to go!!

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