Sunday, December 01, 2013
Did you hear of the latest SparkPeople challenge for the month of December?
I've decided to follow along on this challenge for a few reasons, but the biggest is to keep my mind occupied. See, after this week, I won't have any counseling sessions with my psychologist until mid-January when the new semester starts. I am a little apprehensive about going so long without having some sort of release and feedback weekly. I've got a list of agencies and their phone numbers in case things get pretty terrible and I am unable to cope. So, part of my strategy on the interim is to fill my time and mind with things to do, so I'm not so focused inward.
I will be participating in this challenge in two ways:
Creating a few simple goals to accomplish daily for the month and following along on Instagram for the SparkPeople Photo A Day. :-) I love doing photos on Instagram anyway, so this should be fun!
My #SparktheSeason goals:
Spend 10 minutes a day reading my Bible. I'll probably just stick to the Book of Psalms, as there are so many uplifting and encouraging works in there, but I'll be open to reading something else if a verse is mentioned in church or if someone suggests one to me.
Do 1 thing for yourself that's healthy per day: either drink 8 glasses of water, eat 5 servings of fruits and/or veggies, spend a minimum of 10 minutes on the treadmill, take a multivitamin with dinner (best time to do so, FYI), track meals for the full day and stay within ranges, do some strength training. I can choose whichever one of these to do.
That's it. Those are my two goals. Today I'm 6 glasses of water in, so I'll be having at least 2 more tonight with dinner. Psalm 73 is on the docket for this evening. And this is the photo I took for Instagram:
Day 1- Lights
(I probably won't post these daily here to SparkPeople, but do a few at a time every few days or once a week or something of the sort.)
Sunday, December 01, 2013
Last thankful entry for this year...
Today I am definitely, and obviously, thankful for SparkPeople. I've already praised this website and all it's done for me on this very blog when I hit my 5 Year Sparkversary.
You can read about it there. It's a good read!
But, really, this website has allowed so many wonderful people to be a part of my life. It has been my "safe space" during this bleak period in my life. It has taught me things I never knew about myself. It's given me tools to succeed at being a healthier version of myself... or at least a starting point on that path.
I have wonderful SparkFriends from all over that I interact with regularly. The people here know more than anyone else the struggles, the triumphs, the failures, the binges, the shame, the guilt.... everything about this journey of weight loss and better health. And they're also "real" people, who have lives that impact their struggles, too. And we all know to support each other because that's what we need for this community. Love and support.
As a safe space, I feel like because the Spark community and the people I've befriended here tend to be less judgmental, that I am safe to discuss non-exercise or nutrition related problems, too. Especially being fairly new to crippling depression. I find myself feeling like I don't have a legitimate reason to be depressed... like I don't "deserve" it because there are others that are suffering so much more than I (from terminal illness, poverty, etc) and all I have is a series of terrible things- and possibly a chemical imbalance- that happened to me. And there are well-meaning people that use those things to try to put into perspective YOUR depression to try to cheer you up and it makes you feel guilty and ashamed for being depressed. I haven't experienced that in this community and I am so thankful for that. But, I do it to myself sometimes and at that point, it's just self-abuse.
Spark has given me the jumping off point to becoming a Registered Dietitian. Starting with the simple, basic tools and information found here, I was inspired to seek out more. To further my knowledge, to deepen it. And thus lead me down a path to a Master's Program in Food Science/Nutrition. Assuming I pass this chemistry class, I believe I'll have completed the A.S. in Nutrition at the college I was previously attending in San Diego. Just have to transfer over the credit and viola! Too bad there is SO MUCH CHEMISTRY involved in getting there. :-S Especially since I seem to really suck at it.
Anyway, at the time I wrote my 5 Year blog, I had lost 45 lbs with Spark and my newfound nutrition knowledge. I've gained about 20lbs back, mostly due to the slow onset of depression (before my body decided it was going TOO slow and just jumped into full-blown overnight) and the fact that I live in a desert so my previous outdoor lifestyle was incompatible with 115*F weather.
Anyway, thank you SparkPeople. You've definitely made a world of difference in my life.
Delicious and nutritious! Well... maybe not the pie. But, it's a beautiful pie, isn't it? You can see why I don't want to eat it. ;-)
RIGHT QUICK! Anyone doing the #SparktheSeason challenge for Spark December? I'm going to. I'm going to post a goal tomorrow. And I'll be following along the Photo A Day on Instagram/Facebook (and try to here, maybe posting them all weekly). If you want to join me:
And if you want to follow me on Instagram, I'm llij1983. You follow the hell outta me, and I'll follow the hell outta you right back! ;-)
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Today I am thankful for my faith and for God. I know that may be a shock to most people. Especially considering my mostly liberal beliefs. But, it's true. I consider myself a progressive Christian and at this time, a practicing one at that. I try to live my life according to Christ's teachings more than anything- by being a loving, caring person. Especially to those that are outcast and broken. And it's always a struggle and difficult, but in my opinion, it's the true way of Christianity to follow Jesus' teachings. So, I don't usually profess my faith so outwardly most of the time. I believe right now the title "Christian" comes with a lot of negativity thanks to the misguided radicals and extreme fundamentalists, so I made a decision to live my life in such a way that people would be pleasantly surprised to find out I am Christian. And so that I won't get lumped in with the Fred Phelps' of the world.
Without someone watching over me and hearing my cries/prayers and giving me encouragement, I don't know that I'd be where I am with this depression. Yes, I have the love and support of my wonderful friends and family, but there are days and times when I have thoughts and feelings that I'm too afraid to say out loud, let alone admit to myself that I'm having them. And I know in those times God is carrying me and working to heal me.
I have friends of all walks of life and all religions: atheist, Jewish, Muslim, Catholic, agnostic, Methodist, Buddhist, pagan... I even had a friend once at UCSD who was part of a religion that technically wouldn't allow you to be friends with someone not a part of your religion... I forget what it was now. I consider my friendships with all these people a blessing. They enrich my life just as much as I hope I enrich theirs. And I hope that when they think of me, and knowing I'm a Christian, they realize that I embody a more "normal", real-world example of God-lovin'.
I'm not trying to convert anyone by providing these links, but if any of you are thinking "how in the hell can she be a Christian (traditionally conservative) and have liberal ideals/politics?" this should help:
An article I ran across that's pretty cool.
This one's my favorite- home of the 'Be The Love Project' and headed by a practicing minister.
And apparently I'm not alone! I haven't checked out this one a whole lot yet, though.
The date on my bible was the day I was baptized.
I just want you to know if you're reading this that I don't place any conditions on our friendship. I will never judge you for who your are or what you've done. It is not my job to judge anyone anyway! That's for the Man Upstairs. And I have to answer for my own sh*t without worrying about anyone else's.
I truly love you all.
Friday, November 29, 2013
Today I am thankful for my family. This year Thanksgiving was out of the norm. There have never been so few people at dinner before. My uncle's family went out of town to celebrate, so right there we lacked 8 people. My mom chose to spend the holiday with her "drunkies" as I call them- her women's A.A. meeting had a special celebration, so it was nice for her to celebrate among her sober sistren. My cousin from Santa Barbara was unable to attend and my other cousin showed up for about 30 mins before he had to leave. Which actually was kind of nice. We chose to be informal (I grudgingly put on pants for the occasion) and we sat around and joked and laughed and ate and watched football and had a nice time.
The best part for me was being genuinely happy while with them. I've mentioned before that this depression has robbed me of my ability to feel other emotions (besides some anger, frustration, and always present is sadness). Things like happiness and joy were just no longer emotions that I seemed to have. Once in a while I'd have a quick burst of something- laughter with real joy behind it, but always it was fleeting. Tonight I laughed the whole night and enjoyed everyone's company. It felt normal and wonderful to be able to truly feel, even if it is just for the night. I am very thankful for that, too.
Throwback Thanksgiving. This was in 1990, which put me at 7 years old. Can you guess which one is me? [Hint: I'm blonde.]
Thursday, November 28, 2013
I am thankful for Facebook. I know it's strange, but I really am. I realize the negatives of Facebook... I mean, it really sucks when that's a medium to finding out important [and hurtful] information about someone or some situation... like discovering through Facebook that the guy you were dating is suddenly in a relationship with someone else and you were definitely not in the loop... THAT is sh*tastic. But, overall, Facebook has been a way I've been able to keep in touch with family and friends when I've not been in their immediate area. When I lived in San Diego, it helped me keep up with my family. While I live here, it helps me keep up with my friends still in San Diego. Not to mention my friends and family scattered all over the country or world.
There also once was a time where I kept my weight loss journey OFF my Facebook page. I still do for the most part, but I've grown more comfortable mentioning it once in while as time has gone on. I still prefer SparkPeople for that, but I realize I also like having my closer SparkFriends on Facebook. Just another level of knowing someone. Besides, my San Diego Sparks are amazing people and friends of mine "in real life" and I realize how lucky I am that that's the case. So, keeping up with them on both Facebook and SparkPeople is a bonus!
Here on Spark we have so many community rules, I tend to tone down my personality and censor myself somewhat. On my Facebook, I think I let more of my "real" self show. I'm crass, sarcastic, and sometimes totally inappropriate and crazy. If you can believe that. ;-)
Get An Email Alert Each Time JILLYBEAN25 Posts