Saturday, April 12, 2014
I thought I'd just get this done since there isn't a lot to talk about.
I didn't get any fitness minutes in (unless you count all the mad dashes to the bathroom or to my "emergency bowl" I kept bedside) because eating 300-ish calories a day is not enough to fuel a walk to the kitchen, let alone a workout on the treadmill. I wasn't able to keep much down/in the first few days, so I stuck mostly with chicken broth and Pedialyte for my diet. No water- didn't want to dilute what little electrolytes I was taking in, since even the liquids were not settling in my body much.
Monday was a normal day for me, I had made plans with my lab partner to study during lab time Wednesday and come in for open lab Thursday. Monday afternoon I spent trying to get my religion reading done, which was very long and very boring. I gave up after a while to be honest. I dunno why textbooks have to suck the life out of every subject they cover. So, I started on my taxes. I wanted to get them done and sent off so I wouldn't have to worry about them the closer I got to my next A&P exam (this coming Wednesday.) It took me FOREVER, mostly because it was the first time I'd done my state taxes with that stupid California Use Tax portion on the form itself. That ish is so confusing! I'm still not 100% confident I did it correctly. Anyway, it took me so long, I forgot to eat dinner. Not that anyone cooked anything since that somehow seems to be solely my job now. I made myself a light and quick ham sandwich. A bummer, really, because I hate ham, but that's all we had. Now, I'm pretty meticulous about the food that's going in my body... I smell, touch, and visually inspect almost everything I use to cook or make meals. I guess those ServSafe courses and working in nursing homes will do that to you. Nothing about my sandwich seemed off in any way.
A few hours later, as I was just relaxing and getting ready for bed, my tummy became a little rumbley and nauseated in not a good way. But, that was it. I popped some Tums. I figured it was maybe indigestion or something since I had eaten so late- at almost 10pm. Woke up at 4:30am infinitely worse, and by 7:30am, BAM! Initially I thought it was food poisoning and I cursed the ham even more! By Day 2 of the fun, though, it became pretty apparent this was way worse than food poisoning. Then, friends came forward saying there is some sort of virus going around (like norovirus or rotavirus or something) which is super contagious and causing all sorts of folks to fall to the beast that is gastroenteritis. I say I became its latest victim.
Anyway, the next few days were filled with Pedialyte, Jell-o, chicken broth, and Lipton chicken noodle soup, which oddly my body seemed to do okay with at the end of the day. I was eating around 300 calories, but really, how much of that was my body absorbing? I tried showering on Tuesday and it was a terrible experience. I almost fainted. Had the vision darkening and closing in, dizziness, racing pulse, and complete absence of any energy. I wrapped myself in a towel, and still dripping wet ran to my room to lay back down. Just barely made it. Yesterday, Friday, I was able to get some mashed potatoes and cream of wheat into my system. The last of my symptoms appeared around early afternoon yesterday, so hopefully I'm on the mend.
I weighed myself today. It is Saturday after all. I went from 186 to 179 in one week. SEVEN POUNDS. Yikes! Part of me, of course, is a little happy to see that number. Ya know, the part of me that's struggling to lose weight and fit into jeans happily and wear a swimsuit this summer. But, the rational, intelligent part of me is like, "WHOLLY MALNUTRITION BATMAN!!!" Stomach flu is an awful, horribly unhealthy way to lose weight. Plus, I'm sure the majority of it is fluids! (Wholly dehydration Batman!)
Since I do not have a choice but to get back to the grind on Monday, this weekend will be spent rehabbing myself for the upcoming week. I have my trusty water bottle handy and filled. I'm pretty sick of the way-too-sweet Pedialyte, so I'm going to stick with water from now on. I'm going to get in my 8 cups today and tomorrow no matter what. I'm also going to eat more "real" foods, as much as I've enjoyed jello and pudding, to get some actual nutrients in my system. I've got some fruit purees mixed with kefir and some fruit/veggie purees to snack on. I'm still a little wary of dairy products (like straight up yogurt and cottage cheese) so I'll stay with the mashed potatoes made with chicken broth and maybe some more cream of wheat. I have a few sweet potatoes and some carrots I can quickly microwave, too. Unfortunately, I don't have a quick, easy source of lean protein that isn't dairy based. Things that are a little fattier, like nuts and peanut butter, still sound a little too heavy for me at this time. Maybe I'll get someone to run to the store for some of those pre-cooked chicken breast strips. I can probably stomach a strip or two at a time.
Anyhow, I have an exam on Wednesday and that pretty much marks the last major thing to get done before I finally have...
I seriousy can't wait.
Louie was trying to make me feel better.
Tuesday, April 08, 2014
Can't believe we've already gotten a week done of April. This year is simultaneously going by too quickly and too slowly. Too slowly because I still haven't gotten a spring break yet! I'm going to b*tch to whoever will listen to me about the spring semester schedule being so effed up. And then I'm going to find out who was responsible and I'm going to stab them in the liver. THEY'RE A DEAD MAN!!! I still have two weeks until I finally get a break from this massive stress-fest of a semester! Then, when I return from spring break, there is only 3 more weeks of school left. SO STUPID! In a semester that has long periods of time without holidays (the only one/two get grouped together in early February), I need a good break at about week 8 or 9 in a 16 week semester. We're getting ours right after week 13. They may has well just not have a spring break, let us keep on truckin' and get out a week early for summer. Geez. Am I burnt out? Oh, just a little.
Anyway, I had some successes in the first week. Mostly with weight and exercise.
I weighed in on April 1st as a starting point. Scale read 186lbs, which was actually better than I thought I'd be seeing. Still, not totally desirable. Anyway, on Saturday (the 5th?) I weighed in just to get back into the habit of Saturday weighing. The scale read 186lbs. Yay! I didn't gain anything! And I really didn't expect to lose anything in 5 days, either.
I'm starting back with just walking on the treadmill. The first day was a slow pace (at least compared to where I was.) It was also almost 10 o'clock at night. And my allergies were raging. But, I got in 60 minutes of continuous walking and I was glad I did it. Same for day 2. Day 3 I found myself needing to up the intensity as my heart rate was below my lower range. Like I was sitting down or something. So, I dug out my speed intervals note and did those. Super glad I did. Got my heart rate up to within range and kept me from getting bored. Burned a decent amount of calories. Day 4 I played volleyball with my friends from church. It was super fun! I always get nervous when I play sports or whatever in front of other people. Why do those childhood fears of humiliating oneself or letting down the team or looking stupid/fat/lazy/week stick around into adulthood? But, I made myself suck it up and just enjoy the day. There were lots of laughs and good times to be had. Got in a lot of good movement, worked up a bit of a sweat, hurt my wrist a little but not as badly as I thought, and burned me some calories while getting in my fitness minutes.
Nutrition is, once again, the rough spot for me. Not only do I have a tendency to binge/overeat when I'm stressed (and have you seen my schoolwork load?!), but I also observed- retrospectively- that I do the same thing when I'm tired. Unfortunately for me, I'm pretty much tired all the time. Not because I'm not sleeping enough... most nights I am, but because I'm taking benadryl fro my allergies and that makes me sleepy. I wish I could take something else, but my body doesn't respond to other antihistamines anymore. Usually not sleepy enough to fall asleep, but sleepy enough that I have no energy or brain power for a few hours. Also, seems my willpower goes into hibernation with my energy and cognition. I think that's part of it... the other part may be my body trying to get energy any way it can and since sleep isn't usually an option in the middle of the day, it demands food.
The other part I mentioned last time was not having anything healthy in the house to eat or snack on. I remedied that just a little bit this weekend and got some fruit/veggies from the store. That way I can snack on a tangelo instead of potato chips. Add a sliced apple to my oatmeal. Munch on strawberries with my Greek yogurt.
That will help for now, but it won't really help the underlying condition. Exercising the willpower to resist, to recognize tiredness for what it is (not hunger)... that's going to be hard. Very hard for me. I know it can be done. I'm strong enough to do it. I know it's not going to be perfect and I'll screw up some days... probably most days. But, if I keep trying, I'll conquer it eventually, little by little. I just need to figure out how.
Anyway, it's freaking midnight... I should wrap this up and hit the pillow. Most days I just can't seem to get everything done in a timely fashion.
Louie gets a shaved belly rub! He's finally cone-of-shame free and able to meander throughout the house more.
My friend shared this blog article today, and I'm not a Biggest Loser fan, but I thought this was brilliantly written! Oh, and language warning.
Tuesday, April 01, 2014
Okay, this is not an April Fool's Prank! I really am going to get back on track with my goals, starting today. I don't care if I'm claustrophobically cramped on my treadmill, I'm going to get my fitness minutes in! And I'm going to track my every bite of my food today.
I'm going to weigh in today (instead of my usual Saturday) so I have a "new" starting point. The number on the scale is supremely disappointing, so I'll hide it down below in the info. ;-)
Before I get to that, I'll tell you a bit about my facial mauling. I had my other cat, Kyle, resting on my shoulder as I was walking around the house. That was not unusual, done it a million times. He just rests there and purrs loudly. Anyhoo, he saw or felt something on him that scared the BEEGEEZUS out of him! Now, knowing he has some "smooth brain" (my polite way of calling him a little intellectually challenged) it's likely there wasn't actually anything there. Unfortunately, he freaked out pretty bad and in his fright he used my FACE as a springboard to dive off my shoulder. His claws got me pretty good and narrowly missed my eye. My face was literally dripping with blood. The wound on my cheek just below my eye was super swollen at the time. As of today it still is a little bit, but has gone down quite a bit. It's also bruised. The wound on my eyelid is bruised and swollen, too. It hurts to blink. At least it stopped bleeding, though. The wound further down on my face, near my jawline is practically already healed. My left hand also got several deep cuts on the fingers, but those are fine.
Earlier that day, I finally got my hurr did. I haven't been intentionally growing it out. I just haven't had time to get it done. So, my hair had grown into a horrible, shapeless, messy, ugly blech. I was always self conscious of it because there was really no way to make it look good. I don't have a photo of it, sadly, but I did take a photo of how long it had gotten:
So, it got cut, I feel like I look like myself again:
Only now I have several gross looking holes in my face.
On to the important stuff:
Fitness Focus: Walking
My goals are to get 250 fitness minutes per week (or 1000 fitness minutes for the month total) and to lose 4lbs.
I will accomplish this by:
1) Walking 5-7 days per week (35-50 minutes per day).
2) Eating healthy meals that are centered around vegetables and fruit.
3) Tracking meals 3x per week and tracking fitness every time.
I will track my goals by:
1) Using the Food and Fitness Trackers
2) Using my scale and tracking my weight on SparkPeople
I will know I've reached my goals when I see 182 lbs on the scale and I've reached 1000 fitness minutes.
Items Needed to Achieve this Goal:
1) SparkPeople/Internet access
2) Support from my Spark Friends/AccountabiliBuddy(ies)
3) Good shoes
4) Heart Rate Monitor
I will find the time to accomplish these goals:
1) Monday afternoon, Tuesday morning, Thursday morning, Friday morning, and Saturday anytime (or Sunday afternoon)
2) Scheduled rest days are Wednesday and Sunday (can be switched to Saturday if needed)
Things I need to learn more about:
1) Exercise induced asthma and how to prevent it.
2) Exercise induced migraine and how to prevent one.
People I can talk to for support:
1) Any of my SparkFriends and specifically my AccountabiliBuddies Malia and Dava.
My goals' relevance:
1) I want to be healthier and to start losing the weight I've put on since moving back to El Centro. I also want to be a runner, so I'm going to start with walking as my base to improve.
I will reach my goal date by:
April 30, 2014
I will weigh weekly on Saturdays.
April 19- Possible Hike?
April 26- Possible Hike?
April 27- Self-timed 5k
Sundays- crockpot dinner preparation; breakfast preparation; lunch planning
Tu/Th/Sat- regular cooking dinners from planned healthy menu
Sunday- attend services; cook breakfast goodies for hospitality ministry when possible
Tuesday- attend Bible study every other week
Nightly- read Bible; pray
Start health & nutrition ministry by the end of July (fitness; good food) 1 Corinthians 6:20
Socializing with those friends
Read for pleasure
Work toward fitness, food, and spiritual goals
My reward for accomplishing 75% of goals: One New Book
Chosen from extensive Amazon Wishlist- Stiff: The Curious Life of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach -or- Death's Acre by Bill Bass
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Well, hello everyone! It's been quite some time since I've been on here for more than 2 minutes. I wish I had some wonderful story to tell you about how I've turned a corner for March and my fitness minutes have been caught up on and my nutrition is stellar.
Alas, that isn't the case. And I'm too stressed out about other things to be stressed out about it. There are only a few days left of this month. I'm going to just let it go and try again for April. I'm going to dig out my treadmill (after all these yard sales, I can't believe I still have a living room full of stuff!). And then I'm going to clean my room so I have a secondary space to workout in.
I've totally been out of control with my nutrition and eating. Most of it is in fact my fault and within my [lack of] capacity to control. But, like most people, stress does a number on my willpower. And my willpower was basically nil. The next obstacle, the one less in my control, was having good stuff available in the house and having the time to cook healthy meals myself. A lot of our funds went toward the surgery for my kitty Louie (update on that in a second). And a lot of MY time went toward hustling for those funds, studying until my eyeballs couldn't focus on the page anymore, and doing homework-projects-prepwork for stuff. This amounted to less time for me to cook foods and take care of myself because I was so busy taking care of the family and taking care of my grades.
Luckily, Louie's surgery is done and he's home recovering. We got the funding together in two weeks flat! We scheduled his surgery for the 21st and we got to bring him back home on Monday (the 24th). The surgery was much more invasive and complicated than originally planned. See, when the vet and surgeon were going in there, they expected to be removing a big ol' stone (all his urinalysis results led to this belief) and instead they found a "mass". They didn't know what it was, so they sent it off for testing. They sewed up my kitty and observed him over the weekend. He was ready to come home! He is having a tough time resting. He feels so good after feeling so bad for so long that he just wants to be all over the place! But, he doesn't realize his belly is sutured in several layers. His bladder was cut open and is sutured, the underlying muscle tissue was sutured, and his skin is sutured. Louie is also not allowed to see his BFF Kyle, which is making both of them very sad. Anyway, we got the test results back from the vet and Louie does not have cancer which is what we were all worried about. Basically, his body was trying to protect itself against the crystals being produced in his kidneys and this mass just built up until it was huge and out of control. We're just happy he's healthy.
Not only has the month of March been busy and stressful, as far as my poor kitty and school, but I had very few opportunities for any fun! I went to lunch with my mom, my granny, and my cousin one day. It was nice to just enjoy their company for a bit. One afternoon my cousin and I went to a local mall to a snack joint and had one of our favorite treats- a tamarindo apple! And a raspado (its a Mexican shaved ice drink, essentially). But, that's pretty much been it.
School sucked up a lot of my time. This past Wednesday was particularly rough. I had two major assignments/projects/thingies due on the same day. I was not only having to study for anatomy/physiology, since my instructor seems to think his class is the only class in the world and there's nothing going on in my life that is as important as his class, but in my religion class, the project I signed up for was coming up due. I had a 7 page "research" paper about Judaism to write. Then, I had a group project to complete. I so very much HATE group projects in college. They are truly the worst. I did luck out a little bit this time around. The other members of my group all wanted to contribute and put in their fair share of work! Amazing! That pretty much never happens... Unfortunately, we had one member of our group who was... ... ... I'm trying so hard to be nice, but really, and I'm so sorry to have to say it this way and it sounds so judgmental of me, but he was just dumb. His contributions were rarely of any worth. He was so wishy-washy with things. He'd say he wanted to help with one part, and then a day later change his mind and want to help with another part. He took it upon himself to start putting together our PowerPoint presentation without talking to anyone about it, even though that task had already been delegated to two other group members. And he did a very plain, terrible job on it. He also took it upon himself to change the other holiday we were required to talk about without asking the rest of the group. The other members of our group (myself included) pretty much had to override anything he did or said. And I should clarify, I don't think he was trying to be difficult or deliberately a nuisance. I honestly and truly think he was just that dumb that he didn't realize what a huge pain he was. Also, trying to coordinate the schedules of 8 people to meet outside class time to work on the project and presentation was impossible. NO ONE had a schedule that meshed. So, we did everything online. We met for the first time to go over our presentation 45 minutes before we were to give our presentation. Seriously. My contribution was not only to *talk* about the Passover Seder Plate, but to *make* one AND to make a sample dinner. It turned out awesome! I made a huge pot of matzo ball soup in my crockpot. I also made haroses, which is an apple and nut mixture. A few other group members made some bread, some brought kosher grape juice. It turned out great and delicious. We basically did an abbreviated version of the Passover Seder. Everyone loved our presentation with our PowerPoint, and they especially loved the food!
Sadly, that same morning, I had a HUGE a&p exam. That exam was really tough. Not because the material was hard, but because the amount of stuff to study was very disproportionate to the number of questions to be asked on the test. 40 questions in the lab practical portion (the part with diagrams, models, microscope slides, etc) and 40 multiple choice questions. The test itself covered the integumentary system- skin and all things skin. The 5 layers of the epidermis, the different cells found there, the function of the cells, the names of the layers, which cells found in which layers. The 2 layers of the dermis. All the stuff found there- tissue types, hair follicles, sudoriferous (sweat) glands- apocrine or eccrine- and where do you find them on the body, sebacious (oil) glands and where you find those on the body, and then about hair specifically- what is hair made of, the layers of hair, the lifecycle of hair, where is hair NOT found on the body, and then nails- what are the parts of the nails. The test also covered the skeletal system- all 206 bones in the body- their names, locations, surface features, shapes, and all the details of osseous tissue- osteons, fibrocartilage, the cells in bones and what they do, the structure of bone, how bone is formed- there are two ways, how bone heals itself, what the names of the types of bone fractures are, the joints in the body, what type of joints are they, how do they move, and how are they articulated together... and oh so much more. Is this making you feel overwhelmed? I totally was. I studied constantly. It was SO MUCH to remember. And to only be asked 80 questions to cover all that material. It was frustrating.
Also, this month things have started to warm up, so my allergies are just going wild! I am not winning the fight against them, either. My body has become accustomed to so many types of allergy medications, I can't find one that works for me. Benadryl is working for me these days, but it also makes me a little bit drowsy and it only works for so long. It also doesn't always help my nasal congestion. So, I've got Mucinex for that. The sinus pressure in my face- particularly my frontal, ethmoid, and sphenoid sinuses (see, I'm learning something!) caused a migraine yesterday. Its not always that painful, but pretty much always present. Mega harsh, man!
Now, I know I did a lot of complaining and sounding negative in this blog. I'm not planning on letting that continue. I am determined to make the month of April much better. I may be starting from scratch on the exercise. I may be starting from scratch on the nutrition. But, I can't do nothing about it anymore. I miss working out and having that outlet for stress. I miss eating foods that make me feel good. I don't want to live with this nothingness anymore. I want to be a runner SO BAD. I'm determined. I'm going to make it happen.
And to leave you with some photos:
Louie in his cone of shame. Still, he was so happy to be home!
Watched the sun rise one early yard sale morning.
My favorite holiday meal- St. Patrick's Day! Corned beef & cabbage, colcannon, vegetables, brown bread with Kerrygold butter!
Tamarindo apple preparada! (Meaning with other goodies in it- Japanese peanuts and some sort of chewy candy, drizzled with chamoy)
Allergies- 1 ... Jill- 0
I stand with all the other ladies who aren't ashamed of running in tutus!
Monday, March 17, 2014
Well, I wish I could say as soon as I was starting to feel a bit better, legitimately, that I jumped right back up and picked up my good habits where I left off. Unfortunately, that's not the case at all.
I decided to weigh myself this week to see how much damage I have done and where I'll be starting when I do get back to it. I was not at all surprised by the number on the scale, but still very sad and disappointed by it. All the hard work I'd done up to this point, the 5lbs I've lost since the beginning of January, have pretty much been wiped out in just two short weeks. The scale reflected a 4lb gain.
In the last two weeks, I got a grand total of 238 fitness minutes. Not even the 250 I normally get in one week. So, so sad. Right now my family and I have been fundraising for my kitty's surgery, and we're a little short on storage space, so our yard sale items have basically taken up all the space in the living room. Where my treadmill is... and where I do all my workouts. I used to do them in my room, but I've got some space issues in there now also (residuals from depression that I haven't been able to get back to normal yet), so the living room was a good place. Also had a lot more space. I've also had some arthritis pain in my right thumb that has aggravated an old wrist injury, so I've limited use of my right hand (and I am NOT a lefty!) so I can't even dig my way to the treadmill 'cuz I can't lift the boxes. :-(
Food has still not been up to par. Improved, yes, especially since my throat is no longer sore and I don't feel the need to eat ice cream constantly. But, still not great. Also, I ate at my normal levels even though I wasn't exercising, so I should have reduced my calories/macros. And I didn't. Lame. Lame on my part. I've been struggling getting in veggies and haven't had any fruit in the house to struggle to try to eat. :-S Blurgh.
I am stressed out to the max. I feel like I'm drowning in all sorts of tasks, responsibilities, etc. I'm barely treading water, keeping my head just above the waves. I have homework up the Wazoo- a 5-7 page research paper due on Wednesday in my religion class and who knows how many bazillions of assignments to be assigned with only 1 day to do them all thanks to the BLEEP FACE that teaches a&p tomorrow afternoon. I have driving responsibilities for the family to appointments and errands. We've only gotten half the money needed for Louie's surgery and it sucks to watch him struggle daily. No one NO ONE is helping me do anything around the house. My bro did half the dishes one day, but didn't finish... I can't do much with my wrist in a splint, so I couldn't help finish the other half. Needless to say, my kitchen is trashed. It's disgusting and filthy in there. I'd be ashamed and embarrassed to show anyone the inside of my kitchen.
And since I don't have access to my living room I have no way to exercise. It's already in the 90's outside here, so working out in the "great outdoors" is not in the cards. Therefore, I don't have an outlet for my stress.
I don't have a solution to any of this right now. I went ahead and got the SparkPeople app to track food easier. Not that I liked paying $4 for that s***, but I want everything in one place: Food tracker, fitness tracker, supportive community. I want to be able to get back to my workouts. I know I'll essentially be starting over completely at this point. Back to walking instead of training for jogging. This month has been such a setback and a bummer. :-(
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