Soon to be Grandma but not….

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Anyone who knows me, or has spent time with me, knows more than anything I want to be a Grandma. I’m old enough. My son, John is 26. My stepson, Jake is 22. They are old enough. John has a good job; owns his own home; has no girlfriend he works to much for that. Jake, ah Jake, not quite so ready….so of course its Jake that tells his father that his ex-girlfriend might be pregnant.

Hallelujah right? Not so fast. I did say “ex-girlfriend”. Yet she says she wants Jake to be in her life; she wants to get married; raise the baby as a family. Jake? No job, no home, no want to have either. Jake is, well nicely put, a flake. You hang around Jake a little while and you want nothing more than to be away from him. This girl just hasn’t been around enough yet.

I’m sad since I realize I won’t get a chance to be anything in this child’s life not matter what I want. I already know and accept this no matter how much I hate it.

I’m so sad.

Jill

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MUSTANG_SALLY2 8/27/2010 12:56PM

This very thing happened to my brother. The couple is not married and his son is not playing an active roll in the child's life but my brother is. He has made a relationship with the mother and the granddaughter comes with the package. Not sure if that would work for you but I too want grandbabies. Not sure how that will happen since I only have furbabies and they are all "fixed" but hey, a girl's gotta dream. Hang in there. I'm thinking of you! Report Inappropriate Comment

SUNNYWBL 8/25/2010 6:42PM

I have two grandsons, both of whom sired children and 2 darling great grand baby girls were born. I went out west to visit even though I had serious doubts............. The boys didn't stay with the baby-mommas ( or vice versa) for very long, sad to say. I see their photos on FB sometimes...... Not what I hoped being a great-grandmom would be like! Comment edited on: 8/25/2010 6:43:42 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

ROSEREDD58 8/25/2010 6:16PM

Jake sounds like someone I know. His girlfriend,married twice, not yet divorced,both staying at his mom's house. She got pregnant. 2 weeks before birth he got appartment, did all moving and setup with lots of family help, and brought home a beautiful baby boy. My friend is there for all the emotional suupport they need and has offered to babysit whenever possible. This has made a major improvement in her outlook on being a gramma and has shown them she is there, but not controlling. Good luck and I hope all works out for you. Tammy Report Inappropriate Comment

DEBBIEKAY1 8/25/2010 1:40PM

that you are sad but you never know what the future holds keep your chin up and your heart open It takes a village to raise one child! God Bless Hugs Debbie Report Inappropriate Comment

Fresh start

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

After a year of trying to maintain my weight loss, and not doing such a great job of it as I suck at maintenance (I've gained 20 pounds) I have decided to make today, 24 August 2010, the day I start again. I plan to lose the weight I gained and an additional 10 pounds. I'm thinking of adding Zumba to my walking routine. I don't ever want to see a 2 in front of my weight again and I'm scared if I don't do this now I will be back in the 200s.
Wish me luck.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNNYWBL 8/25/2010 11:36AM

Good for you! Just remember - little baby steps get the job done! Report Inappropriate Comment

MUSTANG_SALLY2 8/25/2010 8:54AM

Sounds like a great plan. I've been reading a lot about Zumba and would love to try it. All I've read says that it's lots of fun and is a great workout. Let me know what you think of it please. Report Inappropriate Comment

SWEETLIPS 8/24/2010 11:12AM

I send you joy, peace and strength for your journey. Be gentle with youself, enjoy Zumba and make it work the way it is best for you. You will stay in Onederland, because you want to- Report Inappropriate Comment

I'm not angry

Monday, August 23, 2010

I just re-read a few of my latest blogs. I think I sound so upset and angry at my life. That ain’t so! I write most of my blogs without any emotion at all. Well the RANT blog was emotional, but by far most of ‘em are just what’s going on. A state of my life.

My “unemployment ran out” blog. Truthfully I’ve always been broke. Living on less isn’t as hard for me as most folks since its all I’ve ever known. Its been said so many times that I can squeeze a penny and get a quarter to pop out. I hate not having a buck in my pocket but I am use to it. Won’t change any time soon.

My “81 year old mother” blog. She won’t talk to me. I have asked and been told to mind my own business so many times that I laugh when I’m told talk to her. Ain’t happening. Best I can do is keep quiet and listen if and when she gives me any insight into her life. Big sigh, but again it’s the way it is in my life. Won’t change until she wants it to change.

As for me…I go to work every day. I come home. I walk. I count my calories. I complain about what I can’t buy. I don’t want much because I want what I already have. Another paycheck, winning the lottery, or a huge fat windfall would make my life easier, not better. Just like losing weight didn’t change anything. Having money won’t either.

  

RANT!

Friday, August 20, 2010

My sister just told me that she got an invitation to Andrew’s (our nephew) wedding. I did not. My brother has decided he doesn’t want to acknowledge me and I guess deserve that. I’ve got no issues with that. But what did John, my son, do to be ignored? Where is John’s invitation? Is my whole family cut off because of something I did????? Now I have issues with that.

I wouldn’t have gone to the wedding; nor would have John. HOWEVER I if I had received an invitation would have sent a gift (probably money) and made John do the same.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MUSTANG_SALLY2 8/23/2010 10:40AM

Why do families have to be so complicated? Ugh! I'm sorry that you have to go thru this. It wears me out that my family too has these issues. I would need a special notebook to keep track of who is mad at whom. I give up. They are the ones missing out by not having the relationship with you and your family. Report Inappropriate Comment

SUNNYWBL 8/22/2010 10:21PM

Be the better person and send him a Happy Wedding Card and a cash gift to start their new life! Report Inappropriate Comment

Unemployment ran out

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Life after the unemployment checks stop isn’t easy. We never thought it would be. We planned for this; made our lives accept this and moved on. We sold our dream home of 12 years. We purchased some place smaller, older, not as wonderfully located and cheaper. By far cheaper. We paid off all our bills; put off buying anything at all; are down to just the basic necessities. Live ain’t great but it’s a life right?

I get pissed off when I read how the feds are going to save the economy by lowering the interest rate on home loans. Dumb fools! How can people who are unemployed and without unemployment money buy a house? WELL THEY CAN’T! Might better save the economy by creating jobs or extending unemployment! But then what do I know? I’m only out here in the trenches living this life that’s all.

Don’t bash me for sounding bitter because really I’m not. I still own my own home; I still have all my animals; I still drive my paid off car; I still love my hubby and he me. I just point my car in a different direction at the end of the work day. I am just the only one working to support the family now. Life is harder. Then I knew it would be.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNNYWBL 8/22/2010 10:12PM

I can understand, my house value plummeted, my 401K imploded, and it's tough living just on SS, after my unemp ran out last year... I'm so tight, the buffalo has been screaming for quite a while!! I hate to be a pessimist , but the stock market and housing market for sure are not going back to the "good old days" any time soon. In the coming elections I think the baby might get thrown out with the bathwater. But, God is good and the sun still comes up everyday so I will continue to be a cock-eyed optimist! Comment edited on: 8/22/2010 10:16:14 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

MUSTANG_SALLY2 8/20/2010 10:09AM

It's tough at my house too but not this tough. My honey found part time work so that helps. I agree that something is off but I have no idea how to fix it. Do you think it will ever get back to the way it was before? Seems like people use to shop, shop, shop and now they are looking at life differently, either because they have to (no money) or because they are afraid (of no money). Ugh. I keep hoping things will turn around. Hang in there! Sending lots of hugs! Report Inappropriate Comment