Sunday, January 19, 2014
So grateful I have had the courage to continue my journey after falling down. Getting back up is what life is all about. This time around I am prepping myself for that eventual day that once again I am fit. Why did I go back into the pit? I'm trying to figure that out...so I can be on the lookout when the time comes. But one thing is certain...this time I am blogging my daily journey - the ups, the downs, the highs, the lows, the raw emotion, the fear of failure, the fear of success, well, you get the idea.
I want to pour my heart out here...in a safe place. Where I might be able to help someone else make the decision to get back up again and take care of themselves. To just do it until it becomes second nature. Till you can accept yourself, love yourself, and know that you ARE worthy! I think somewhere deep down inside of me (the place that frightens me most) is where that nasty feeling of not being worthy comes from.
So here we go...I've been eating clean for 11 days now. Eating between 1300 & 1400 calories per day. And I have logged all my food (which I believe I will have to do for the rest of my days on this earth) since. I seem to only have success with self control when being honest on paper (or computer) and logging every morsel that goes into my mouth. Some folks may be able to get so good at this that they can stop recording their food...but I haven't ever reached that point...as I always gain when not logging. And I'm ok with that. At least I know my weakness and how to overcome it.
My exercise and sleep still have to get back in order...on that note, it's way past my bedtime and I will be back tomorrow for more gut spilling.
Stick with me...it's going to be one fun ride!
Eat well, live well, stay well!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Looking forward to the new year with great expectations. This year has been very difficult for me. Just started taking an antidepressant today. Hope it helps me out of the pit! Gotta turn this boat around or I'm gonna sink. Reading all the success stories I can and getting the courage to face my giant from all these beautiful ladies who shine their lights on SP. Now it's off to wrapping central...I'll be up all night!
Saturday, December 15, 2007
December 15, 2007
APPROVED UNTO GOD
Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that
needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of
2 Timothy 2:15
If you cannot express yourself on any subject, struggle until you
can. If you do not, someone will be the poorer all the, days of his
life. Struggle to re-express some truth of God to your self, and God
will use that expression to some one else. Go through the winepress
of God where the grapes are crushed. You must struggle to get
expression experimentally, then there will come a time when that
expression will become the very wine of strengthening to someone
else; but if you say lazily - "I am not going to struggle to express
this thing for myself, I will borrow what I say," the expression will
not only be of no use to you, but of no use to anyone. Try to state
to yourself what you feel implicitly to be God's truth, and you give
God a chance to pass it on to someone else through you.
Always make a practice of provoking your own mind to think out what
it accepts easily. Our position is not ours until we make it ours by
suffering. The author who benefits you most is not the one who tells
you something you did not know before, but the one who gives
expression to the truth that has been dumbly struggling in you for
Thursday, June 14, 2007
It's good to be back to my safe place...SP! Back on the road to recovery and good health. Slow and steady wins the race. Winners have setbacks...they just get back to the path and keep going.
Here I go!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Well, since October 2006 I have had 3 surgeries...yes, lost my gallbladder then they had to go back in and get the gallstones they left in there that were making me very sick. That was at the end of January. Couldn't go to the gym for 6 weeks. Then I was just getting back into the swing of things and guess what? On my way to the gym my stomach started hurting again...this time, my appendix!!
Well all that said, I have been backsliding in a terrible way. Now, after getting on the scale this morning and waking up to the awful news...I'm back here at Sparkpeople...on my knees to God and surrendering, once again. I can't do it alone and I certainly can't go in the right direction by throwing in the towel!
So, I'm committing once again to 3 meals a day, and sticking with the ADA pyramid. It works for me. I just have to do it! I will faithfully log in my food and stay within 1200-1500 calories per day. Drink my 8-10 glasses of water and start my walking every day until I am released to go back to the gym.
I am my own worst enemy!! Have to change my ways...AGAIN!! How could I have let myself do this??? How can I keep from going any further down the tubes?
Baby steps...3 meals with nothing in between will be a great start and my water & walking. That's it for now.
Going to try not to be too hard on myself...I've been through the ringer physically the last 4 months!
Pray for me...
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