30,000-39,999 SparkPoints
JILLSWORLD's Recent Blog Entries

The Journey Continues...

Sunday, January 19, 2014

So grateful I have had the courage to continue my journey after falling down. Getting back up is what life is all about. This time around I am prepping myself for that eventual day that once again I am fit. Why did I go back into the pit? I'm trying to figure that out...so I can be on the lookout when the time comes. But one thing is certain...this time I am blogging my daily journey - the ups, the downs, the highs, the lows, the raw emotion, the fear of failure, the fear of success, well, you get the idea.

I want to pour my heart out here...in a safe place. Where I might be able to help someone else make the decision to get back up again and take care of themselves. To just do it until it becomes second nature. Till you can accept yourself, love yourself, and know that you ARE worthy! I think somewhere deep down inside of me (the place that frightens me most) is where that nasty feeling of not being worthy comes from.

So here we go...I've been eating clean for 11 days now. Eating between 1300 & 1400 calories per day. And I have logged all my food (which I believe I will have to do for the rest of my days on this earth) since. I seem to only have success with self control when being honest on paper (or computer) and logging every morsel that goes into my mouth. Some folks may be able to get so good at this that they can stop recording their food...but I haven't ever reached that point...as I always gain when not logging. And I'm ok with that. At least I know my weakness and how to overcome it.

My exercise and sleep still have to get back in order...on that note, it's way past my bedtime and I will be back tomorrow for more gut spilling.

Stick with me...it's going to be one fun ride!

Eat well, live well, stay well!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRIANGLE-WOMAN 2/23/2014 8:35PM

    Of course we'll stick with you!

You can do this!!

“Change takes time. It takes time for the seeds to begin growing within, time to understand the process, time for the growth to mature, and time for the old self to die and fall away.” -Bryant McGill

(¯`♥´¯) .♥.•*¨`*♫.♥
.´*.¸.•´♥ Spread the Spark!
¸¸.•´¸.•*¨) ♥¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ .♥ (¸.•´ .♥ (¸.•*´¨`* ♥☆¸.•*´¨`*♥☆

Report Inappropriate Comment
STRIVERONE 1/25/2014 7:05PM

    I have logged my food every day since April Fool's Day 2010 and I am convinced that doing so played a major part in helping me maintain. There may be people who don't need that tool, but I'm not one of them and it's good that you recognize that you are not either.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BAMATEACHER 1/19/2014 9:15PM

    I, too, am on a re-start after a 20 pound regain (out of 50). I know things must be different FOREVER, and I am committed to making them so.

You can do it! One day, one decision at a time.

Thanks for my spark goodie; it made my day!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEABREEZE64 1/19/2014 5:24AM

    Sometimes - accepting that we are each "worthy" of love is often harder than running a marathon or an ultra.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSANBEAMON 1/19/2014 1:20AM

  you know what to do. you can do it. keep it up.

Report Inappropriate Comment
144AUTUMN 1/19/2014 12:47AM

  You can do it!!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Will 2008 ever get here?

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Looking forward to the new year with great expectations. This year has been very difficult for me. Just started taking an antidepressant today. Hope it helps me out of the pit! Gotta turn this boat around or I'm gonna sink. Reading all the success stories I can and getting the courage to face my giant from all these beautiful ladies who shine their lights on SP. Now it's off to wrapping central...I'll be up all night!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REDHEAD31 1/3/2008 8:44AM

    I'm with you. Ready for a fresh start. The New Year is a perfect time for one.

how's the medicine working??

Report Inappropriate Comment
DENISE824 12/27/2007 10:23AM

    Before you say godbye to 2007, think of all the things you accomplished this year -- big and small. It was a tough year but I bet you learned a lot and are stronger for it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BARKSHIREWOODS 12/24/2007 12:37AM

    Sounds like you are ready for the New Years Resolution Challenge. http://teams.sparkpeople.com/2008

Report Inappropriate Comment

I Think He's Trying to Tell Me Something!!!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

December 15, 2007


Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that
needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of

2 Timothy 2:15

If you cannot express yourself on any subject, struggle until you
can. If you do not, someone will be the poorer all the, days of his
life. Struggle to re-express some truth of God to your self, and God
will use that expression to some one else. Go through the winepress
of God where the grapes are crushed. You must struggle to get
expression experimentally, then there will come a time when that
expression will become the very wine of strengthening to someone
else; but if you say lazily - "I am not going to struggle to express
this thing for myself, I will borrow what I say," the expression will
not only be of no use to you, but of no use to anyone. Try to state
to yourself what you feel implicitly to be God's truth, and you give
God a chance to pass it on to someone else through you.

Always make a practice of provoking your own mind to think out what
it accepts easily. Our position is not ours until we make it ours by
suffering. The author who benefits you most is not the one who tells
you something you did not know before, but the one who gives
expression to the truth that has been dumbly struggling in you for


Glad I'm Back

Thursday, June 14, 2007

It's good to be back to my safe place...SP! Back on the road to recovery and good health. Slow and steady wins the race. Winners have setbacks...they just get back to the path and keep going.

Here I go!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MILLY61 6/17/2007 2:56PM

    That's right Jill, never give up ....it's too important.......glad to see you made it back again. Baby steps, you will get there :o)

Report Inappropriate Comment

Ugh!! I need help!!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Well, since October 2006 I have had 3 surgeries...yes, lost my gallbladder then they had to go back in and get the gallstones they left in there that were making me very sick. That was at the end of January. Couldn't go to the gym for 6 weeks. Then I was just getting back into the swing of things and guess what? On my way to the gym my stomach started hurting again...this time, my appendix!!

Well all that said, I have been backsliding in a terrible way. Now, after getting on the scale this morning and waking up to the awful news...I'm back here at Sparkpeople...on my knees to God and surrendering, once again. I can't do it alone and I certainly can't go in the right direction by throwing in the towel!

So, I'm committing once again to 3 meals a day, and sticking with the ADA pyramid. It works for me. I just have to do it! I will faithfully log in my food and stay within 1200-1500 calories per day. Drink my 8-10 glasses of water and start my walking every day until I am released to go back to the gym.

I am my own worst enemy!! Have to change my ways...AGAIN!! How could I have let myself do this??? How can I keep from going any further down the tubes?

Baby steps...3 meals with nothing in between will be a great start and my water & walking. That's it for now.

Going to try not to be too hard on myself...I've been through the ringer physically the last 4 months!

Pray for me...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MILLY61 4/14/2007 6:21PM

    I'm so glad to see you're back Jill. I"ve been checking in from time to time and saw no entries. I'm sorry you've had such a difficuilt time. Good on you for getting back to Spark and for re-assessing your goals. Don't beat yourself up, you don't have to be perfect, you've come through a very hard time and you haven't given up.
I'll be cheering you on as you work towards your goals.....all the best,
Wendy :o)

Report Inappropriate Comment

1 2 3 Last Page