JILL313   133,124
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Friday, August 26, 2011

I've been trying to Lose a Significant Amount of Weight since I joined Spark in 2010. At first I was really motivated and rapidly lost 15#s and was so excited that my Goal was to Lose 60#s by the end of the Year. Well, 2011 came and due to my unhealthy Choices and Inconsistent Exercising I wasn't even close to that WL when I "rang" in the New Year of 2011.

I was Discouraged but Never Thought of Giving Up as I guess I thought by just Sparking and having Good Intentions I would lose the weight by "Magic" and Wishing It Away. Well, I'm no Princess and this isn't a Fairy Tale so my Only wanting it and not working hard towards my goals I was only down 20#s after a whole year of Sparking. I was very unhappy with myself and my lack of Determination, Willpower and Choices. I was actually embarrassed that friends might be critical of the fact that my Weight Ticker was stuck for many months and never moved. As, I was always telling them, You Can Do It and Make Healthy Choices even if I wasn't following my own advice.

Then a few months ago one of my Spark Friends asked me to be her Accountable Buddy. I was game even though I doubted it would help me with my "Stuck in the Mud" attitude. Since then, after every meal we report what we ate and how many calories and it's surprising how that makes you think before you put something unhealthy and high calorie in your mouth. The Goal is to stay within my calorie range every day and give each other helpful suggestions and comments.

The first month I plodded along even though my Accountable Buddy was doing well and she gave me great suggestions and comments on my excess eating and lack of exercise. She is a very Smart and Determined Lady and slowly I stopped "Yo Yoing" or gaining 3 pounds one week only to Lose 2 or 3 pounds the next hence I was in a Standstill with no WL progress. It was around that same time that I had a "lightbulb" moment and realized she seemed to want it for me more than I did! I realized no one but me could make this WL happen but me! I was only hurting myself if I didn't make those necessary choices and changes.

So, I have a much Healthier Mindset and realize a significant WL will happen for me if I keep on making healthy food choices in proper portions and exercise. I've Lost 7#s this Month so I'm "Happy Dancing". . .and will Continue to until I reach my WL Goal of Losing 100#s. I only have to drop 1 more pound to have lost 10% of my Starting Weight!

I so Appreciate my Accountable Buddy and have grown to Love Her Like a Sister. She gave me hope and encouragement and seems to love me Unconditionally. I'll forever be grateful for her. If it wasn't for her and her great idea I hate to think where I would be with the Unhealthy mindset I had. So Don't give up on yourself as there is always hope. . . and with God's Help may we all work hard towards our WL Goals!!

Love & Hugs,


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLIMTHICK2 9/22/2011 7:31PM

    Beautiful blog, I love it and I am so glad for you. emoticon

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2MUCHRUTHIE 9/17/2011 5:40AM

    I wanted to check in on you to see how you were doing. I am so happy and proud of you! I remember when your spark was just down to a tiny spark and I said that the Lord would blow on it to restore it to a bright flame; well, He did ...in the form of this
Spark Buddy and GONE forever are 7 pounds!!! Keep encouraging each other..it works!

Blessings and Prayers



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OZARKMARY 9/5/2011 8:59AM

    emoticonI'm so happy for you my Friend! Great blog and inspiration. You WILL do it this time, I just know it!! So happy you have an accountability friend. What a wonderful idea. Keep up the great job! It's cooling here, finally, so no excuses not to get out there and walk. Have a wonderful day and week! WE/ emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PATTYCAKE17 8/31/2011 3:50PM

    BRAVO, BRAVO,BRAVO dear friend! you are such a cheerleader for so many others and now I get to say Congrats to you on your wonderful 7# weight loss. I'm SOOOOOOOOOO proud of you! You have so motivated me today!! Keep up the good work! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FATGRAMS61 8/29/2011 10:59AM

    What a great blog! I enjoyed reading it and have added you as a friend. I believe that overeating is an addiction like so many others and most people cannot get rid of an addictive by themselves, no matter what that addiction may be. Your eating buddy will make you accountable and if we're truthful, we don't like to tell when we've been bad....so enters the buddy. Finding the right one is finding a life long friend! Glad you did it. Please continue to blog because in doing so, you do help us all... emoticon

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MOMFAN 8/28/2011 6:47PM

    emoticon emoticon

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TORTILLAFLATS 8/26/2011 11:32PM

    Jill, Wonderful Blog. You should write them more often.

Accountability is wonderful when you have a buddy to share it with. I think it is your buddy that is Blessed having you to share her journey with.
Hugs, Gail

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JAKEANDNELLIE 8/26/2011 8:44PM

    What a great idea! I need to find a accountability buddy to help me maintain my motivation! Congratulations on the 7 pounds this month - in fact, here's seven woohoos for you! I'm so proud of you!
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CTUPTON 8/26/2011 8:10PM

    emoticon emoticon

Congratulations. I am glad you had such a great friend! Chris

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SPEEDY143 8/26/2011 7:20PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonSo glad you stuck with Sparks and are making progress because YOU have been one of the best cheerleaders emoticon emoticonon Sparkpeople and have made so many contributions to ALL of our successes emoticon

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JINLYNN 8/26/2011 3:43PM

    Words of wisdom - we have to find our own motivation, but it is nice to have that supportive friend there to cheer us on.
Congratulations on your progress.

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CAZ5346 8/26/2011 1:36PM


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VTMAID 8/26/2011 12:07PM

    I am so happy for you, Jill! And, doesn't that progress feel wonderful?
I am kind of at a plateau right now, but I know I'll be fine once I see a couple more pounds drop. I try really hard not to be discouraged, because I do know I am doing the right things.
I am so proud of you, Jill!!!!!
Take care,

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ESILBO 8/26/2011 9:50AM

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MS.ELENI 8/26/2011 9:34AM

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IOWAGRAMMA 8/26/2011 9:30AM

    I am not sure why it takes so long for us to have our "light bulb moment" but it sure takes one to get our attention! So glad it is working out and that you are making truly great progress!!! It feels great to get to that 10% landmark and you'll be there before you know it. WTG, Jill!! Jeannie
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BLUEANGELLK 8/26/2011 9:04AM

    Congratulations. You are well on your way!

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COOLMAMA11 8/26/2011 6:35AM

    A great big* Rah Rah* for our wonderful friends, that is what Spark is all about, helping one another along this Life Journey to better health and awareness! I am so proud of you Jill...keep working toward those goals, we will accomplish all we set out to do!

Hugs Elaine emoticon emoticon

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BEANZFRD 8/26/2011 6:05AM

    Glad to hear you're doing so well!! Good job, and keep on going towards that 100#s!



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SUSIEPH1 8/26/2011 6:01AM

    Thats just awesome Jill !! great blog and congratulations ...
We must be accountable for what we eat and what exercise we do... This is the only way we will conquer our love of food.
Well Done love! I am so very proud of you ..
Love and Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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My Spark is Just Flickering. . .

Monday, July 18, 2011

Recently, due to my not focusing on my goals and some upsetting things in my life I'm not as determined and motivated as I want/need to be to get this weight off and get healthy! I think of myself as a positive person but recent things in my life have me even questioning that about myself.

Over the last couple of months or longer all I've been doing is losing then regaining the same few pounds so I'm mad at myself about that. As, I have all the resources right here on SP, read lots of blogs and articles and find myself wondering why this Journey to get Healthy and Fit has been so hard for me to do. I don't seem to have the Spark like I even did a month ago! I'm happy for my Sp friends who in a year or less take off a significant amount of weight but at the same time it makes me wonder why is it I seem unable to do what is necessary, ie, eat well within my calorie range and exercise more to have WL success myself.

I do track my food and do well until hours after dinner when I get hungry--I know I can't be really hungry as I've eaten a full days worth of calories. It's more of an emotional hunger that I can't get a handle on and it's gotten worse recently. Recently, I did join a small Team that deals with this very issue so I'm praying that it helps me get back on Track.

Being morbidly obese like I am has so many negative health consequences and would be greatly helped by losing weight and exercising. So, when I have all this good information why do I sabotage myself almost every day?? I'm really not sure--maybe I need a Shrink!!

When one of my Teams had a 3 week Exercise Challenge of exercising 30 minutes a day I was so motivated and hardly missed a day of exercising. I even noticed I had more energy and didn't even need my afternoon naps. So, I can't understand why I make so many excuses for myself not to exercise now when I know it makes me feel better both physically and mentally. Do any of you have this problem?

So, today I'm going to take the time to re-evaluate my Sp goals and maybe change or tweak some. What I'm doing is not working well for me so I need to look deep within myself for some answers. I'm also going to re-read the book, The Spark, as it really helped motivate me and make me more determined to get Healthy

I love and enjoy all the wonderful friends I've made on SP--and wouldn't give any of them up as they do support and encourage me. Overall, the biggest success of Sparking for me is my friends and I do feel connected to them as we're all alot alike in wanting to get healthy and more active. Thanks to Sparking and feeling connected to a wonderful Community I am happier than I was before I discovered Spark so that is great success as happiness can't be bought.



  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEESPARKLE 10/20/2011 2:21PM

    I am in the same stream your in. I go up stream all gun hoe then come down and not get in the boat. I was off all summer and now back in. I was discouraged and Icame across a motivated gal and then I seen and read others and then I added alot of Grannies like you all and oldie Sparklers who have been here awhile or a life time it seems. So as I go along. I add you to my friends list and hope someone will give me a snag and tell me and encourage me once again. I have had alot of pain with my osteoarthritis so I did over work my self to keep up as a teamer but now have come to this. A summer gone I am feeling not as good as I want to be. So Grannies. Come give me some encouragement.

Thanks. emoticon

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PATPITA 8/3/2011 4:25AM

    Hello Jill:
I am not very good at this. I have been a member a long time, but not very fateful. I find that I am always starting over. And that is what I am doing again today.
I joined a gym today and I am already afraid I will fail. I need to loose 100lb +.
Your blog spoke to me. and now I just want to say I,m glad to have found you. emoticon emoticon

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2MUCHRUTHIE 8/1/2011 6:25PM

    Oh dear Jill, my friend---

We are all so much alike. Even after surgery I must fight "head hunger". I know that my tiny stomach is full but I want more to taste!

One thing I know----never, never,never give up. Fight the good fight. You are a bright star in this community and we love you. I will pray for you and for all of us in this battle.

I eat sugar free popsicles at night and all day if that is what i have to do. It's hard.

Soon your flickering spark will burst into a bright flame because our Lord will gently blow on it.

Love you, Jill

Ruthie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/1/2011 6:26:47 PM

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26M8J7 7/28/2011 2:45AM

    I can relate to everything you are saying. I am starting over again. I guess up's and down's are a part of making this lifestyle change because the old habits try to creep in every now and then. I am praying for your success!!


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SLIMTHICK2 7/27/2011 4:51PM

    Hi Jill, today I decided to go to your page to see what you're up to and found your recent blog. emoticon I'm happy that you decided to write this. So much of what you said I'm going through right now and I'm also looking within to get a grip of myself. I am slowing regaining my spark and I know as you push through you will regain yours also, hopefully brighter than it's ever been.
All the best to you as you move forward, as always your friend. emoticon

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NEWTEXDEBBIE 7/26/2011 12:19PM

    Sweet Jill.....
I mirror your problems so very closely. Wow.... I sit here day after day KNOWING that I have to work out and how AND everyday I sit.... you are on the right track my friend and NOT giving up is the key. Me getting off my posterior is the key for me. It just seems so large of a goal. Hang in there girlfriend. WE CAN DO THIS!

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CHRISTA90 7/23/2011 2:26PM

  Oh Jill, I hear you. You've written my blog for me. My days are fine but after dinner, oh my, how my mind thinks I still need to eat. Part of it could be to soothe the increase in pain level by evening and another could be that you're tired. I know that I should go to bed earlier at night but I'm reluctant to because getting to sleep is an uncomfortable chore. I've been dealing with chronic pain since a head-on car crash sixteen years ago but looking back at what could have been and what is, I know I've been blessed. It took 3 years to get walking again, but I am walking although limited mobility did put on the pounds. I also lost and gained back the same poundage several times but each time I learned a little more. In the last 3 years I have lost weight and not regasined it, but oh so very slowly. The journey goes on. I've just been with Sparks for a short while but it is proving to be extremely useful, especially the comments and support from the rest of the Spark community. It sounds like you are a member of this community that has given others strength and hope. Let that warm your heart and help keep you going. You have the answers and you will get there.

Hugs and best wishes

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VTMAID 7/23/2011 12:22PM

    Hi Jill--just checking back to see how you are doing. I truly meant what I said about you always being so helpful and encouraging!
Take care.....

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KELLEY106 7/21/2011 10:06PM

    Hi Jill,
I guess a lot of us are in the same boat.
Someone once told me what we do at night when we over eat is just a habit, a bad habit. We need something to replace it. Such as, I can eat anything I want at night AFTER I eat an apple and a banana (or two of any fruits) Try it for 7 nights
What do you have to lose(a little pun there)
You just might just pick up the habit of eating two pieces of fruit at night. Let me know how you do

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SEWINGMAMACDS 7/20/2011 11:31AM

    Jill - I could have written that blog too. I just keep my motto of "Lose Your Quit" in front of me. I need to remember that this is a lifelong journey not a sprint. Cheering you on my friend!

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CTUPTON 7/19/2011 7:16PM

    Maybe the Accountability forum on the Evening Eating Team would help you. It is cute to put an icon for each day of the week showing how well you did in the evenings. I put some posts up like that and other people did too. This is the second Accountability topic there so you can see examples on the first one we did.

Another way or with the icons you can say 2/7 or 4/7 to show how many evenings you were "good." Good is your own measurement.

I don't want to confuse you, but a third way is to give yourself a 0 or a 1 for each day of the week. At the end of the week, count up all your points. 7 X 5 is 35 for a perfect week.

I hope one of these plus team support will help motivate you.

Definitely start each week with a clean slate. And you know that any time of any day you can "start the day over." Then you won't say, "Oh I blew lunch so I will just eat whatever I want for the rest of the day." Restart at 1:00 PM and have the rest tof the day be perfect!

Good luck emoticon and please keep posting! Getting feedback from others is a real motivator!

Chris emoticon

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TORTILLAFLATS 7/19/2011 6:58PM

    Jill, I have lots of faith in your ability to get that spark shinning bright again. You are always there to help the rest of us through rough times. So you already have the answers within you. Now just open your heart up to hear the words you speak to us. Your words are packed full of power and they will work for you too. You are very much worth the effort!!! We can and will do this, sometimes like lightening, sometimes at a snails pace but we will continue on to the finish line.
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VTMAID 7/19/2011 2:34PM

    Honestly, Jill, I did exactly what you said you were going to do. I finally read the book! If snacking after dinner is when you usually run into trouble, take the book to bed with you and call it an early night! Even if you have to go to bed at 5pm! My husband likes to snack at night and I know I can't even be around the stuff so I go off into the other room and read in bed. Somehow it helps.
It's funny--you never know how many lives you touch. I can tell you, Jill, that you are one of the people who has been there for me from the time I returned to SP and I appreciate your caring nature and your ability to help someone up when they are down.
I hope we can all do the same for you!!!!
Karen emoticon

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MOMFAN 7/19/2011 1:38PM

    Praying for you. I am flickering also.

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MARSHASTAR 7/19/2011 12:05PM

    Jill, we are SO ALIKE. My struggles with losing and gaining the same 30 pounds - oh I've done it three times since joining sparkpeople. I do know how you feel, and I do know you kept at me to continue and not give up. You cheer others, so you must cheer yourself twice as much. We are all here for you. Just don't give up. Keep doing whatever you can to just keep moving. I have faith in your abilities.
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JINLYNN 7/19/2011 1:56AM

    All the wonderful sparkers before me have just about said it all. Sustaining motivation is so very hard for me too. Sometimes I think it is because of all the negative non-affirmations I heard as a child and learned so well and now carry around in my head. I often talk out loud to drown those thoughts/voices when they sneak up behind me and whisper in my ear. I know you are a very determined lady, and you will get through this. You have been dealing with some health issues these past months, and that can leave one feeling depressed and unmotivated. I do hope you follow up on the previous suggestions to talk with your doctor about this. And I am a firm believer in the benefits of personal counseling. It does help to talk with someone who is objective and can help you work through issues.
The Made To Crave book is great. There is a spark team for those reading this book. You might want to check it out.
I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

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GRITS46 7/18/2011 10:22PM

    Dear Jill, this could be me you've written about. I wonder all these same things about myself and why I'm not successful. I know emotional eating is a problem for me, and between 3pm and dinner and just before bedtime are my weakest times of day. I've been using a Scripture in I Corinthians 10:23, "Everything is possibe -- but not everything is beneficial." I read this in a book about weight loss called Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeust. It is written from her own experience as a person who would get out of control with her eating and one day realized she should be craving God and not food. I'm really enjoying it and learning a lot.

Hope the days get better and your flickering Spark turns on the heat and grows!

Loving and praying,

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ESYLVANTUTOR207 7/18/2011 9:56PM

    Wow, Jill...I could have written this blog. It is amazing that I came across this blog today because I am feeling what you are feeling. I have about 100 pounds to lose and sometimes this journey seems so hard. I have been at a plateau for 7 weeks...not one pound lost....like you,playing with the same 3 or 4 pounds....up and down.... I have felt frustrated, discouraged and at the edge of giving up. But giving up is NOT an option. We can only move forward because otherwise all the progress we made will disappear because we will just start gaining the weight again.

After dinner is always the hardest for me. I leave a lot of calories for snacking and eat less during the day because I know when nightime comes around I will need something to help me get through the hours.

I know it is hard. No one said this would be an easy journey but it is one we must take if we want to live longer and healthier.I am trying small goals lately: drinking 48 ounces of water, eating slowly and enjoying my food, walking at least 5 out of 7 days, eating more veggies and fruit. Try to focus on just a few things and work on those.

Don't beat yourself up....Remember this is a life long journey...baby steps...fall down/get up...Progress Not Perfection and most of all....NEVER GIVE UP! Your Spark friends understand...some of us share the same feelings and take the same detours. I am here if there is anything I can do to help. I am adding you as a friend and I hope that is okay with you. Martha ((HUGS))
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Comment edited on: 7/18/2011 9:58:05 PM

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GRANPATTIE 7/18/2011 9:03PM

    Oh, Jill. There is nothing I can add to all the wise words you've been given. And I think you know we all have to find the keys within ourselves. I've been doing this, on one plan or another, for the majority of 51 years. So I'm pretty sure no one could understand what you're going through any more than I do. We all go through these times. Night eating is a problem for me, too. I really believe, at least most of the time, it's more habit than hunger. Having said that, I believe it's that very thing that makes it so hard to change. Not impossible, just difficult. Maybe we need to come up with a challenge for night eating! Just remember about baby steps, about every day is a chance to start again, about not being in this alone, and about the fact that the only option that makes sense is to keep going. This weight is affecting each of us so much at this point in our lives, that continuing on is the only sensible option. I read something that really made sense to me in someone else's blog. She said the length of time it takes is irrelevant, because we'll be working at it the rest of our lives, either losing or maintaining. So what does it matter how long it takes to lose a pound? I think about that when I'm frustrated by how slow it's going for me.

Remember that I and others are here for you, like you're there for us. We CAN do this.

Love you, Kiddo!
Pattie emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 7/18/2011 8:50PM

    Darling Heart ...Please don't worry to much.... It is much better to loose slowly than not at all ..
Firstly you need to be able to adjust to the new lifestyle .
.Secondly your Body needs to adjust ..
Thirdly your skin needs time to shrink ..

I have found that if you make up a small snack as in a few nuts and fruit within your Calorie Range....
You can munch on them at night ... this will do the trick..or if you are not into that some popcorn popped in the microwave without oil, is good too
Love and Hugs my friend...
Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CAZ5346 7/18/2011 7:52PM


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ONEKIDSMOM 7/18/2011 7:46PM

    Every Sparker has a few "down" / less motivated days here and there. Don't give up the ship... get a good night's sleep, drink your water, and do just as you plan: review your goals and values. Still believe in what you set? If so... the review will help you recommit. If not, time to adjust.

One thing I have learned on the journey is that when I start to slide... chances are I'm falling down on the reward front: I am failing to give myself credit in a non-food way, to pamper myself and remind myself that doggone it, I'm worth it!

So are you! emoticon emoticon

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TUBLADY 7/18/2011 7:26PM

    I'm not going to say you can over come this because you know deep down you can and will.
But since I have been treated and am still taking pills for anxiety and depression, see a doctor. Check that aspect out.
As far as night time eating, I get hungry then too. Most people do. There is a large time span from dinner to bed. So plan ahead, have a snack ready. Don't wait till you are famished and ready to eat everything in sight.
And really try to do the exercises. You feel better when you do. There should be no excuses.
Unless you are clinically depresses and the doctor can help you out with that.
Maybe you can adjust some of the calories you are eating during the day for a later snack when you are more hungry.
Don't give up. If something is not working, tweak it some, adjust the calories, find another exercise but just continue. So what if it takes you a week to lose a pound or even two weeks, the most important thing is you are working at it and eventually you will see results.
I wish I could bottle some of my motivation and send it too you. But this is something that each of us have to find within ourselves. Dig deep its there.
Stay positive.
Fan that flickering flame and start to burn bright.
Love, Tisha emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IOWAGRAMMA 7/18/2011 4:39PM

    Bless you, Dear Sister! This is one of the things that I fear--losing that little (or big) Spark that keeps us going. It has happened to me before--it's one of the reasons that I avoid saying things like "I'm going to lose this weight once and for all." Or, "Lost 3 pounds, never to see them again." I've been up and down this journey so many times, but I feel like I just have to keep trying. Somebody else mentioned this, too--I also get bored with it all. For right now, though, I think I'm on top of this, but I, also, have a problem with night time eating and I'm definitely going to check out the Team you've mentioned.

Even if you take a little time off from the whole thing, don't go away from us. I have done that before, and I also think that if I had stayed in touch, at least I'd be doing something positive. And, by the way--I'm not sure how much weight you have to lose altogether, but I'm pretty sure you're really happy to have 24# gone! Imagine trying to carry 24# of potatoes up the steps. That's a great achievement in itself, so congrats on that!! It shows you know how to do it, and you will, I firmly believe. Love and Hugs, Jeannie

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ESILBO 7/18/2011 3:07PM

LISE emoticon

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EVELYN5877 7/18/2011 3:01PM

    Hi Jill, I wanted you to know that you are not unique in this, I am having the same struggle. I suppose daily it becomes more of the same, and because it is for the rest of our lives, there is no end in sight, and because there is still so much to do, no light at the end of the tunnel either. In short, It gets boring. If one has been obese for a long time, 30yrs in my case, you also can't imagine the difference it will make, or how one could look.

It is also possible that you are suffering from clinical depression. If you find you have no motivation, memory poor to non existent, concentration the same, either cannot sleep or cannot stay awake, this is a strong possibility. So much so that I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow for exactly those symptoms. I resisted but was persuaded by my daughters, that is also a symptom.
All we can do is keep going since there is no alternative, at least you are maintaining after a fashion. Sorry this doesn't sound very happy clappy, but sometimes looking something straight in the eye is the best way to overcome it. 'You can do it' slides off the Tongue too easily. emoticon

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EVELYN5877 7/18/2011 3:01PM

    Hi Jill, I wanted you to know that you are not unique in this, I am having the same struggle. I suppose daily it becomes more of the same, and because it is for the rest of our lives, there is no end in sight, and because there is still so much to do, no light at the end of the tunnel either. In short, It gets boring. If one has been obese for a long time, 30yrs in my case, you also can't imagine the difference it will make, or how one could look.

It is also possible that you are suffering from clinical depression. If you find you have no motivation, memory poor to non existent, concentration the same, either cannot sleep or cannot stay awake, this is a strong possibility. So much so that I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow for exactly those symptoms. I resisted but was persuaded by my daughters, that is also a symptom.
All we can do is keep going since there is no alternative, at least you are maintaining after a fashion. Sorry this doesn't sound very happy clappy, but sometimes looking something straight in the eye is the best way to overcome it. 'You can do it' slides off the Tongue too easily. emoticon

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EVELYN5877 7/18/2011 3:00PM

    Hi Jill, I wanted you to know that you are not unique in this, I am having the same struggle. I suppose daily it becomes more of the same, and because it is for the rest of our lives, there is no end in sight, and because there is still so much to do, no light at the end of the tunnel either. In short, It gets boring. If one has been obese for a long time, 30yrs in my case, you also can't imagine the difference it will make, or how one could look.

It is also possible that you are suffering from clinical depression. If you find you have no motivation, memory poor to non existent, concentration the same, either cannot sleep or cannot stay awake, this is a strong possibility. So much so that I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow for exactly those symptoms. I resisted but was persuaded by my daughters, that is also a symptom.
All we can do is keep going since there is no alternative, at least you are maintaining after a fashion. Sorry this doesn't sound very happy clappy, but sometimes looking something straight in the eye is the best way to overcome it. 'You can do it' slides off the Tongue too easily. emoticon

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BEANZFRD 7/18/2011 2:55PM

    Oh Jill, I know exactly how you feel. I do really well for a while, but I don't seem to have what it takes to keep it going. In some way, I think I might be afraid to succeed. Could it be the same for you? I think I have trouble with keeping my confidence built up, that's why when something troubling happens, I turn to my old friend food. Nights are my rough time too.

Having said that, I think it can be overcome. Counseling? Why not? I have considered hypnotism since it is the only thing that helped me to quit smoking. Either way, we must find the key to unblock what is blocking us and move forward. I promise to try anew. Will you join me?

I'm putting on my big-girl panties now!

emoticon Robin

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MS.ELENI 7/18/2011 2:52PM

    I feel exactly the same way as you.I am in that same boat as you. It is harder and harder to not write downer blogs. I also know if I could control the night eating I wouldn't be stuck. hang in there.You are on the right track.Just do what works for you. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COUTURELADY 7/18/2011 2:33PM

    Jill, you have the power within you to do this! I know that nights can be tough but you can do it. Join a team and do a challenge EVERY week/month/day if you have to.

Do something every day. Walking in place even counts, if you can't do anything else. Do you like listening to music? Dance around! Please don't give up!

Teresita emoticon

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COOLMAMA11 7/18/2011 2:19PM

    Hi Jill, you can do this, just do something healthy for yourself everyday..10 min exercise, a walk, eat some healthy snacks, these little things start adding up to a healthy lifestyle! I used to hate exercise, because it left me so sore afterwards, but the pool is my answer, it is movement, without all the pain!

I'm here for you girl, just try to get up with a positive feeling; that if you try a little each day, you are moving forward! I started with 10 min a day, and I'm up to at least 60 min daily! I know it seems hopeless at times, but just pull up those britches and give it another go!

Elaine emoticon

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Daily Courage to Continue My Weight Loss Battle!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I read The Serenity Prayer for Weight Loss throughout the day and it gives me the strength to continue my Quest to continue my Weight Loss Battle! I've been in kind of a Slump recently so need this even more today than yesterday. . .It's been going around on people's blogs so if you haven't already read it-- read it now and I hope it helps you.

The Serenity Prayer for Weight Loss

God grant me the Serenity
To Make good food Choices;
Courage to turn away from baked goods;
And energy to exercise daily.
Living Healthy one day at a time;
Enjoying my Journey;
Accepting that the road to Wellness can be hard;
Taking the tools of better eating out into the World
As I should, free from the bad habits of the past;
Trusting that making wise decisions today will pay off tomorrow;
If I Surrender to my Will
I will not beat myself up in this Life and the Next
But I will remember that this is a life long Journey;
A Journey that is well Worth ever Pound Lost.

It speaks volumes to me. . .as I am battling my weight loss Challenge Daily and need all the motivation I can get. I hope it helps you in Your Weight Loss Journey.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RASMUSSEN5 6/20/2011 10:34AM

    Thanks for posting this! Remember to remind yourself often that you are worth it and you can do anything!

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    Tish (TubLady) is right! It's a life long battle, and we will never be done fighting it. I have resigned myself to the fact that every waking minute will be a struggle, striving to make the right decisions and NOT to give into temptation.
In my own journey, I have faltered a time or two but always, that desire to see the scale go down has got me motivated again and back on track. I discovered too much snacking can lead to NO weight loss, so I have pretty much cut that out. And the scale is moving down again!
I like the serenity prayer. I will print it out and post it on my fridge. Thanks for sharing and good luck as you continue your battle and make progress towards getting healthier every day!

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TUBLADY 6/20/2011 9:49AM

    Thanks Jill for posting this version.
I need to read that often too. For even with all the success I have had I have my off days too. This week I felt I ate too much. I let myself get over confident that i could eat some foods in moderation and I found I can't.
Even with all my exercising I didn't lose this week. Of course the doctor said I will gain muscle. But i know when i have been good and I have slipped up some. So its one day at a time. Just keep trying to do the best we can.
If you are like me we know when we slip up and that's what we try to work on so it will not happen again.
Jill this road that we are on is a long one, there is not finish line, it's a road for our lifetime. A healthy fit life that we will both have, we just have to work at getting there.
Take care,
Tisha emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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2MUCHRUTHIE 6/20/2011 7:51AM

    Jill, my dear friend,

Keep plugging away and never, NEVER give up! Take your measurements and see if you have lost inches while you are on this plateau. You will be successful...I just know it. I will hold you up in prayer. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EMMABE1 6/20/2011 4:22AM

    Wonderful advice!!
Jill- you say you are in a slump - do you mean the scales are stuck??
Try looking for other signs - stamina, loser clothes, happier mental attitude, sleeping better
There are so many other small things that we often don't notice in our own body!!
Hugs emoticon

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WILSLM70 6/20/2011 3:09AM

    Great poem - thanks for sharing

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TORTILLAFLATS 6/20/2011 2:42AM

    Jill, We can do it!!! and remember, we are worth it. If we just say no to a food that is screaming our name, the No's will become easier and before we know it our success will be over taking us!!! One day at a time emoticon


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SUSIEPH1 6/20/2011 2:32AM

    Hi Jill,
great poem!
Can I use it please?
Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WENDYJM4 6/20/2011 2:20AM

    Hi Jill, nice poem. so true. emoticon

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PATTYCAKE17 5/27/2011 10:25AM

    Hi Jill, Thanks for posting this version of the Serenity prayer. I know it will help many people and it will sure help me. Hang in there. We're still on the road to recovery and it's a lifelong battle, but one that's worth fighting! emoticon

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SLIMTHICK2 5/22/2011 5:17PM

    Lovely post Jill, hope you get as much from it as you need to take you to the next leg of your journey, have a great week! emoticon

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GLOMER 5/20/2011 12:25PM

    emoticon Thanks I needed this. You and I can do this!

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MS.ELENI 5/20/2011 9:07AM

    I copied this poem for myself.Good one emoticon

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TUBLADY 5/19/2011 7:32PM

    Thanks Jill, the poem is one we can all use.
You will come through this slump and be successful.
Sometimes the going get tough, but that's no reason to throw in the towel. Just dig in and don't give in. You are in control.
It's one day at a time. One pound at a time.
People ask me does it get easier? Yes, it does. But I am always thinking about what to eat, and what I have to stay away from.
But that's a small price to pay for good health and being fit.
Jill we are all behind you 100%.
Take care,
Tisha emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SPEEDY143 5/18/2011 11:25PM

    emoticonpoem... thanks for sharing emoticonYou hang in there Jill... you've master the hardest part!!! NOT QUITTING emoticon

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MOMFAN 5/18/2011 4:45PM

    Commit is daily to the Lord! You are a champion!

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LINOVER 5/18/2011 3:31PM

    I also had not seen this version of the Serenity Prayer. Thanks so much for sharing. By the way, I think you are doing great!

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JAKEANDNELLIE 5/18/2011 11:41AM

    Thanks for sharing the prayer.
I printed it out and am putting it where I'll see it frequently.
This is a long, hard journey that we are sharing but we need to just keep moving forward and climbing over the obstacles in our way.
Stay positive!

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DREAMGIRL76 5/18/2011 9:25AM

    Jill thank you for sharing I love it. Remember you are never alone. You can do this, I know you can, baby steps, one day at a time, one meal at a time.

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LADISHEFFLADY1 5/18/2011 8:27AM

    Hang in there Jill! It's the journey that we should enjoy and it sounds like you're trying to do just that! Keep pressing on! emoticon

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GRANPATTIE 5/18/2011 8:21AM

    Jill, I hear ya! I, as you and so many others am struggling all the time. I follow my plan but it's not moving. Molasses in January in Alaska moves faster! LOL! This poem is a good one. I hadn't seen it before. Thanks for posting it.


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JOANNS4 5/18/2011 8:00AM

    This is great. Thank you for sharing it. One step at a time, one day at a time.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COOLMAMA11 5/18/2011 7:38AM

    Jill here is another poem to read!

Don't Quit

When you've eaten too much and you can't write it down,

And you feel like the biggest failure in town.

When you want to give up just because you gave in,

and forget all about being healthy and thin.

So What! You went over your points a bit,

It's your next move that counts...So don't you quit!

It's a moment of truth, it's an attitude change.

It's learning the skills to get back in your range.

It's telling yourself, "You've done great up till now.

You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow."

It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal.

You're still gonna make it, just stay in control.

To stumble and fall is not a disgrace,

if you summon the will to get back in the race.

But, often the struggler's, when loosing their grip,

Just throw in the towel and continue to slip.

And learn too late when the damage is done,

that the race wasn't over...they still could have won.

Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow,

but facing each challenge will help you grow.

Success is failure turned inside out,

the silver tint in a cloud of doubt.

When you're pushing to the brink, just refuse to submit,

If you bite it, you write it....But don't you quit!

- Author Unknown

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COOLMAMA11 5/18/2011 7:33AM

    Jill, you are doing great, I see by your ticker you are down 24 lbs..woo hoo my friend, your hard work is paying off. I know the process is a long, slow one, but as I've said before, the exercise and healthy eating is so good for our bodies, that alone is worth doing what we do on a daily basis...I am here for you my friend...I'm rooting for you all the way...We can do this, one day at a time. I am learning to rise each morning, and to keep ther negative talk out (I don't feel like exercising,I will do it tomorrow, just this one time etc) I have replaced it with positive thinking, and it is working!My weight loss is next to nothing, but I feel so much better all the way around!It took years to get to this weight, so it isn't going to come off overnight, so keep plugging Jill, and keep making those decisions that will benefit you and your over-all health! We can do this!Sending big hugs your way! emoticon


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SUSIEPH1 5/18/2011 6:48AM

    Hi Jill , You are doing well my friend ... it will happen!!
just keep tracking and eating well, and a little exercise and you will get there ..
Remember it has taken you a long time to get to the weight you are, so it is pretty obvious it will take a while for it to come off !!.
Try not to get to despondent my friend ... it really will happen!!
love and hugs Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/18/2011 6:50:27 AM

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BEANZFRD 5/18/2011 6:24AM

    Hey Jill, you are doing great. Continue to tackle one day at a time, you can do it!

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STITCHINGNAN 5/18/2011 3:33AM

    Love the prayer. I had wondered if prayers for losing weight were trivial and maybe self pride? I need all the help I an get so I will copy that prayer out. Ree

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2MUCHRUTHIE 5/18/2011 2:15AM

    Thanks for sharing. I am battling my old self talk...just this once...1 piece won't hurt--I don't like water..or exercise...I'll start tomorrow...

Ruthie emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SLM1988J 5/18/2011 1:59AM

  Love it... couldnt be further from the truth. emoticon

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I'm At A Weight Loss Standstill--What I'm Going to Do

Thursday, May 12, 2011

I've been at a Weight Loss Standstill for way too long and I read an article on MSN called "The Golden Rules of Weight Loss" and most of them I'm not consistently doing! I believe most, if not all, are part of the SP Plan but maybe I'm more open to implement them in my quest to get at a healthy weight. I have lost 24#s which is a start but a far cry from the over 100#s I still need and want to lose. Maybe what shocked me into fine-tuning my strategy, besides the standstill, is the fact that according to my age (64) and my height (5'8") my BMI should fall between 18.5 to 24.9 and OMG mmy BMI is a shocking, to me at least, 41.4--way, way off the Chart! So Here it goes:

1. Write everything down you eat. Well, I want to say I do this religiously but then I think I don't always count those bites or sips, usually late at night. Every day in my Journal I'm going to rate how Healthy I ate that day--1- being an unhealthy day up to 5 for a Super Healthy Day.

2. Measure what you Eat! For some reason this is a hard one for me. I have all the tools to do that--even bought measured bowls to try to help but usually don't use them. I still want to "eyeball" my portions but if I'm honest I think I under estimate the quantity of the foods I eat. As when I do measure, say cereal, and a 1/2 cup is a serving, I'm shocked at how little that amount is. So I'm setting all all the measuring cups, bowls, etc. and dusting off my digital food scale which I bought but only used a few times.

3. Beef Up Your Protein - I'm going to try to spread my Protein throughout the day as it helps keep me satisfied as it takes longer to digest. Right now I'd have to say I eat most of my Protein for the day at dinner--so that needs to change.

4. Add Color To Every Meal - I'm going to increase the colorful fruits & veggies I now eat and try some new ones! I love all fruit but unfortunately there are some really healthy veggies that I've never learned to like so I need to re-introduce some green and yellow veggies and hopefully I will now like them.

5. Stop Grazing - Awhile back there were quite a few articles on how eating 6 or more small meals are better than the 3 a day, with 1 or 2 healthy snacks. But, A Study in the 2010 Obesity Journal found that people who ate 3 meals a day and a healthy snack or two lost more weight than the ones who ate the 6 or more mini-meals a day. This article said the reason is when you are always eating it increases the salivary secretion and the production of digestive enzymes and that stimulates your appetite. I'm going to stick with the 3 meals and a snack or two throughout the day. People with the 6 mini-meals or more can't really tell if they are hungry or not, so the Study says.

6. Always Have a Plan - I haven't been doing meal planning like I know I should. So, every Saturday I'm going to plan out my Healthy meals for the week and that way I won't be stressing out about what to fix, especially for dinner, and I can shop more Healthy and Economically.

7. Slow Down Eating - I'll bet, most of the time, I wolf my meals down in about 5-7 minutes. I've, unfortunately, always eaten quickly. I plan on slowing way down and making my meals take 15-20 minutes. For lunch and dinner I'm going to have a salad for my main course and learn to chew and savor my food instead of inhaling it. Maybe that's why both of my Sisters are slim as they eat very slowly. Studies have shown that people who eat quickly until full are more than 3 times as likey to be overweight than people who take their time and eat slowly. This will be hard one but I believe I can Do This!

8. Do Not Rush Weight Loss - Hey, I'm sure not guilty of this one as I've been on this quest to lose weight longer than I care to mention. But for you Newbies, it says it takes at least 3 months to learn to plan, shop healthy and read labels--I guess where it becomes a habit. Needless to say, I'm on the "late Train" on this one. I have learned not to give up when I have that extra cookie I just take those 2 steps forward as I'll never quit trying to get healthy.

I would add that I think Exercising and Sparking also really help with Weight Loss. I'm getting back to exercising and I always love the encouragement and support I get from SP friends--You are the Best Motivators to Me!



  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNNY332 5/16/2011 9:20AM

    Consistancy is the key and looks to me like you have a great plan as you continue on towards success.

Best wishes on the next phase of your Spark Journey.


Comment edited on: 5/16/2011 9:21:20 AM

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MOMFAN 5/15/2011 10:59PM

    It will happen!

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VEGASLADY24 5/15/2011 2:40AM

    I loved this blog!! Very informative. It gave me some new ideas to work with. Thanks For Sharing.
Hugs, Dawn

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SLIMTHICK2 5/14/2011 6:21PM

    Love your plans and saw a few things for me to implement God knows that I should have been further in my journey by now. Even as I respond I've just had a little too much for the day and 'm thinking to myself that I need to stop this before it gets way out of control. I want you to know that I know how you feel and just like you I'm going to keep on trying until I get to where I want to be. All the best for the weekend my friend. emoticon

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JAKEANDNELLIE 5/13/2011 11:27AM

    I copied a lot of this blog to include in my Spark-folio. Your words are packed with wisdom to help us all.
I've started making a smoothie for breakfast and putting protein powder in it. I've found that it keeps me going all morning and is low-cal (skim milk, nonfat Greek yogurt, frozen fruit, protein powder).
One thing that appears to be encouraging me (as silly as it sounds) is giving myself a gold star goodie at the end of "good days." Sadly enough, I've only earned 5 so far this month!
Stay positive!

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TOTALLYT31 5/13/2011 9:28AM

    That was very encouraging Jill. Perseverance and understanding your own body and setting goals like that was just awesome to read about. I'm working hard on the never quitting part. Thanks so much for writing this out.

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BETHV10 5/13/2011 8:43AM

    Hi Jill, sounds like a good plan. I too need to get moving, but will try to maintain until a big stressor in my life passes by the end of this month. Then I can try in ernest.

Wishing you the best!!

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WENDYJM4 5/13/2011 7:29AM

    HI Jill, I know where you are coming from. It is so hard. I now weigh and measure everything I eat because like you my eyes are can not judge the portion sizes correctly. These are great goals. I am going to borrow this and stick it on my fridge, where it is my face everyday.
I hope you are drinking enough water, that should be on your list, at least 8 glasses of water per day.

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SUSIEPH1 5/13/2011 5:50AM

    Great Goals Jill !!
Now to put them into practice.. you have come this far my friend ...Now its down to the nitty gritty.
I like that you are going to preplan your meals... also that you are going to measure.
Have you remembered to drink your water?
and are you doing your chair exercise ??.
Even Marching on one spot in your chair is good. because it gets the heart rateup and burning Calories ..
You Can do this my friend !
Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COOLMAMA11 5/13/2011 4:39AM

    I Know where your coming from Jill. the scales have stopped moving for me also, but I will not give up, I can see differences in other areas such as lowered blood pressure, lower blood sugars etc, so I will continue on this journey, and hopefully in time the weight will start coming off again! I put my scales away, will only weigh in once a month now...I wish you all the best, and you know I am rooting for you all the way..we can do this!

Hugs Elaine emoticon

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RONIREDD 5/13/2011 2:16AM

    Awesome! Thank you for posting. Going to do this right along with you!

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EVELYN5877 5/13/2011 2:07AM

    Try drinking a glass of water if you think you are hungry, sometimes we awe dehydrated. Also eat very slowly and stop when you begin to feel full. Begin being the important word, then either save the rest till nxt meal, or bin it. After quite a short while you automatically adapt your portion size downwards. Don't snack, eat if you are hungry, don't if you are not, that way you no longer need to track everything just listen to your body. It's worth a try since you are not loosing at the moment. I have lost 8kg since march 12th doing this with no extra exercise or any tracking or measuring. Eat eggs for breakfast instead of cereal, it is filling for longer.

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DRB13_1 5/13/2011 1:50AM

    Good list!
Add "Push yourself beyond your comfort zone." I find I watch less TV and try more new things in this lifestyle change. It ends up being priorities.

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GRITS46 5/13/2011 1:13AM

    Jill, I've been trying to change my habits longer than I care to remember, and I still don't do it all the right way. I know I slack off on the measuring part and I don't write down every morself I eat. So there's two strikes against me already! I think you've got a good plan here, and it will work. I'm working harder at all this but not there yet. We can do it together -- wish you well!


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JOANOFSPARK 5/13/2011 1:07AM

    emoticon emoticon You got a plan.. and it sounds awesome....and I know you can do it. Just think about how much you have changed in living healthier in the past year and not worry so much about the weight.....I know that is hard to do, but focus on living healthier and the weight will come off. You are doing really great... emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LEANJEAN6 5/13/2011 12:42AM

    Hi Jill--Lynda here!--You will be successful for sure if you do all you wrote about! It's a learning process and you are learning how to be successful--and your body will thank you!---We CAN do this! emoticon

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LJCANNON 5/13/2011 12:31AM

    Success begins with a Plan, and you have that DOWN!! emoticon
Congratulations, and Good Luck!!

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CJMOK1121 5/13/2011 12:30AM

    Jill: I know what you mean about the weight not coming off. As I said a few weeks ago, I have gained and lost the same 6 lbs for the first 4 months of this year. Your plan sounds really good. I too have to eat about every 3 hrs. since I have this stomach problem. But it's not suppose to be a 5 course meal. just mini meals and I am still after many years of weight watchers and south beach and atkins and etc. I still find myself licking and picking and all those things. (grin) So my friend lets work together and get it off for good.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND: AND STAY FOCUSED. CJ from OK. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GRANPATTIE 5/13/2011 12:08AM

    Jill, I've been dieting the majority of 50 years. There are still some of these points I don't have down. I slack off measuring everything. I DO always want to rush it, though we can't really do that...not and eat in a healthy manner at the same time. We Need to just continue on our journey doing the best each day that we are able to do. We'll end up better off for it. This is a good list.

You know I always wish you best of luck.


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UMUCGRAD 5/12/2011 11:39PM

    It really is a journey. We are not machines. Keep it up. Plan and work your plan.

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DOWNTOWNJEN 5/12/2011 11:33PM

    It's always a challenge to find out what works for our particular bodies, isn't it?

For me 6 "meals" works (really it's 3 meals and 3 snacks). I rarely go longer than2.5 hrs without eating.

Eating more calories and losing slowly also works better for me. Otherwise I get to feeling "deprived" then I crash and burn and eat everything that isn't nailed down. Even the cats run and hide!

I love that you are trying new things and seeing what works for YOU. I also like to spread the protein out during the day - in fact I like to eat most of my protein for breakfast and lunch.

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CAZ5346 5/12/2011 10:40PM




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Being 60+ But Move and Feel Like age 80+ Most of the Time!

Monday, March 28, 2011

I didn't really become obese until about 15 years ago when I was going through my divorce after 26 years of marriage to my college sweetheart . . .It was the beginning of a slow weight gain due to not really caring about myself anymore (depressed) and falling into really bad unhealthy habits. It was the first divorce in my family and I didn't find much comfort or support from my Mom and Sisters and I sure could have used some. They made me feel like I was less of a person being single and unattached plus I had three teenage sons to fully support as their Dad hadn't worked the last 10 years of our marriage. . .

I wasn't really slim even 15 years ago but weighed about 170#s but being tall I think I still looked pretty good in clothes and I then I didn't have any healthy problems and could get around well. For one of my sons college graduations I had to walk the length of a couple of football fields and I sure didn't have a problem doing that. But, now I wouldn't even try doing that as it would be so hard doing with a walker, huffing and puffing the whole way. . .plus my back and knees would be killing me and I'd have to sit down every couple steps or two . . .

Today I weigh 273# and that is after a 21# weight loss with SP. Yes, I was and am not very far from the dreaded 300# mark.

Before I retired, due to poor health, at age 61 I worked for 25 years for the City's Recreation Department and with my weigh gain I must have weighed around 250# then. . .I would always get embarrassed and hate it when they had to take my picture for our Quarterly Recreation Classes Brochure as I sure didn't look like I had taken any of the wonderful exercise or activity classes we offered--I was morbidly obese by then and didn't look nor could I participate in many of the exercise classes as before I retired I was barely getting around with a cane. . .my walker came later.

While working, I would get up around 5:30 am and Diet Pepsi started out my day with usually no breakfast. I would come home for lunch as my office was only 5 minutes away and drink more Diet Pepsi and not eat. I usually got home at night around 6 pm and was ravenous and would start eating all the junk food I could stuff in my mouth as I was so hungry and couldn't wait until I prepared dinner. I would eat a huge dinner and within a couple of hours I would go to bed often with an unhealthy snack in hand. I drank Diet Pepsi's all day long . . . My only exercise was doing housework and walking around the grocery stores or good old Target. . .I was a couch potato for sure and it showed!

When I retired I was up to 260#s and by that time I had two bad knees, a weak back, diabetes, and a slew of other medical problems. I looked puffy and fat and really got so I didn't really care about keeping myself up anymore--and to think I was the one that used to not go outside without makeup on and my hair combed in case a neighbor might see me. I now wear shifts and loose dresses thinking maybe it hides some of my fat but there is no disguising it when you weigh almost 300#s!

As a result of becoming morbidly obese I go around the house in a walker as my back and knees are both bad and it throws off my balance and I can't stand long unaided. If I'm going out for a short time with a friend and I know it won't involve me taking steps or stairs I usually can manage going with my pronged cane. I have turned down lots of invitations to go somewhere because I'm scared that there will be too much walking involved or steps/stairs that I'm afraid to even try. This is definitely not the retirement I looked forward to. . .I imagined myself taking exercise classes such as Yoga or Tai Chi and going on lots of great Senior Trips. . .Now, it's just easier and safer for me to stay at home--at least that seems to be my mental attitude now.

I do feel older than I am as I'm not enjoying life nearly as much as I could. I'm missing out on so many things. . .When my sweet 2 year old Grandson takes my hand and wants me to play on the floor with him I can't--as I know I couldn't get up again. When he was a baby I couldn't walk around with him in my arms and I longed to be able to do that! I want to be healthy to do things I haven't been able to do in too many years . . .

I would think my sons would be concerned about my weight but they never say a word to me about it. I know they want me around as long as possible so they must pray for me to get healthier and slimmer. . .My oldest son, age 37, is disabled and I feel very guilty thinking about possibly not being here for him as long as I want to be. Nowadays he helps me as much as I help him. . .I depend upon him to help me do things around the house . . .

I am responsible for my weight gain and know there are no excuses for gaining all the weight as it is my fault--no one force feed me but me. . .Now it's up to me to make healthy choices every day to be the best and healthiest me I can be . . .Being fat is no fun and it could kill me!

I am so glad I accidentally found SparkPeople. Even though my weight loss is slow and a work in progress I'm finally doing something about it. I usually stay pretty close to my calorie range but my weak area is doing exercise and I know it would make me more mobile and speed up my weight loss. So, that is my goal to join the 10 minute a day exercise Team and do that much and more. I do want to be a success story and get the life I dreamed about . . .It's Up to Me Now but I know I'm on the right track and will be successful--I just have to be patient--it took me 15 years to gain all this weight but I know it'll take me a fraction of that time to lose it all.

I sure appreciate all your support and the motivation you give me. I thank the wonderful and inspiring and dedicated Team Leaders--You are doing a great job! So, it's my turn now to meet these Challenges Head On and Be the Best and Healthiest Me I Can Be!

Hugs to All,


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CTUPTON 8/26/2011 8:15PM

    Jill, I certainly relate to your blogs! Chris

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WENDYJM4 4/28/2011 2:52AM

    Hi Jill, great blog. Thanks for sharing. That is my life in a nutshell. I put on a lot weight after divorce. My fault but could not help it. Paying the price now.
We are both trying that is the main thing and you have come a long way since you have started.
I know that when I opened up to myself in my blog a while ago I feel like I started to heal. I understand the feeling you have not able to do things with the grandchild. I am getting better with being able to do things with them now and they know. But still have a long way to go. I would love to be able to kick a ball around with them one day.
take care
Wendy emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COOLMAMA11 4/11/2011 5:38PM

    Hi Jill, loved your blog, I too gained after my divorce, and then My health went down the tubes, I have one knee replacement, awaiting the second....We all have to deal with things in our lives, but I have put mine behind me and now enjoy life with my 2nd husband..We will do this..it just takes time to un-do all those bad habits we've developed! emoticon

Keep up the good work my friend! I'm rooting for you all the way!

Hugs Elaine emoticon

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PATTYCAKE17 4/8/2011 2:59PM

    Jill, you are such an emoticon person and a remarkable woman.Thank you for being there on my blogs all the time. I could always see myself in you, and now that I just read your bio-blog I know why. I guess it's all relative; Your twos look really good compared to my threes. We all have what we have for the moment. It's the change that we are working on that's important.
I couldn'nt run with my little grandson either, so we played with his little cars on a loopy track that I set on the end of a table and he loved it, especially the undivided attention that went with it! I taught him tabletop card games such as Go Fish from when he was little and we had a great time. Being with you is probably enough for him. Just change games often enough to keep him interested. Of course your sons don't complain about your weight. They don't see it, they just see your love! All the best, dear Spark friend. emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/8/2011 3:05:31 PM

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 4/2/2011 11:36PM

    You are doing a super job. Just do the best you can and make the most of each day the Lord has given you. Slow and steady may not win any races, but at least we will cross the finish line!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Blessings and hugs,

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SLIMTHICK2 3/30/2011 2:05PM

    You wrote a beautiful, honest blog Jill and I enjoyed reading it. You have a plan and I know in time you will get the results that you desire. All the best to you. Have a great week. emoticon

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LJCANNON 3/30/2011 1:33PM

    emoticonYour story is so similar to mine, that I had to read your Page. You have come a Long way, and the best is yet to come!!
Thanks to Curves, and SparkPeople my life has completely changed in the past 2 years. I know you will soon be able to play on the floor with your Grandson.
emoticonWith that 10 minute Challenge you will soon be kicking a lot of extra baggage to the curb!!

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JOANOFSPARK 3/30/2011 1:07PM

    emoticonboy, in so many ways it felt as if I were reading my own story, though not divorced...but life does have its ways of throwing curve balls at you....but the weight does creep up on us and I too feel as I am over 80, though I've seen 80 year olds who had so much more energy than I do...bad knees, bad back, and it does take a toll on one.....but I can see a change in you .....a great change......much more positive attitude and a 'go get it' attitude than when we first started talking.....I know emoticon because you are an emoticon determined strong woman...who can do anything she sets her mind to do.....just look at what you've accomplished already...... emoticon emoticon

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NOUVELLEMIC 3/29/2011 10:30PM

    I'm so glad to see that you are writing in the past tense. Just keep it that way. You are doing great, so keep up the good work. It's better to do just a little and be consistent than to try to do too much and injure yourself even more. You know your body best. Take care of it. emoticon emoticon

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MOMFAN 3/29/2011 10:15PM

    Thanks for sharing your story! Mine is similar. Losing weight will not magically make all the problems disappear, but it does help you be able to do more things and have less pain. You will do this! Cheering you on! So what is your plan tomorrow?

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KATIRLYNN1234 3/29/2011 12:03PM

    With all you have been through, it's terrific to see you're trying to turn things around and become a new, healthier you!! Congrads on the weight loss. Keep at it, with persistance and patience it will pay off...

I too have trouble with exercise because there's always pain somewhere in this body of mine. On my last dr visit I discussed the non-exercise issue with him and requested physical therapy. I figured PT could show me what things I can and should do to help. Perhaps this would be something you may want to check out with your doctor? Just a though....

Best of Luck my Sparkfriend


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MADKAPKID 3/28/2011 9:35PM

    Jill, the sentiments expressed by others so eloquently are what I feel too. YOU have really come a long way since you and I started talking a few months ago. I hear Positive statements, and YOU have lost. YOU are in there sparking and working to reach your goals. My friend, YOU can do it! I know you can! Have a joy filled day, Karen emoticon

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TUBLADY 3/28/2011 8:58PM

    Jill , just facing your weight head on and laying it all out there is a great way to start to unburden yourself of the pain that is carried around by being obese.
Now that you have addressed the problems, and I am sure you know what you weakness are, you can work on them.
I have noticed a more determined Jill these past few months.
That's what it takes, strength and determination.
You have to want to be healthy and fit more than anything else.
Congratulations on the pounds lost.
When I read your story, it sounds like me a year ago. The only difference , I drank Diet Coke, non stop . But not any more.
Once the weight left, the back ache left too. I could walk, even on the bad knees. Although now I am getting a replacement.
We we like too peas in a pod.
Jill you can lose all that weight and feel so wonderful. Work as hard as you can. You want to enjoy those grand children.
I believe in you. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CAZ5346 3/28/2011 6:32PM

    Jill, there are many, many sparklers who are glad you stumbled onto SP. You are always there with a hug, smile and most important, a kind work of encouragement. You are an awesome lady who will keep on losing because you have the will to do it. Great blog.

emoticon emoticon emoticon


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2MUCHRUTHIE 3/28/2011 5:36PM


You and I are in the same boat. You have lost 21 pounds while I have lost none. Be proud of that. You are motivated. These dentures have caused me pain and depression and that led to eating chocolates. I'm afraid to step on the scale. Your blog has re energized me. I'm tired of feeling eighty. I'm 69 and it is now or never. Thanks for this open and honest blog. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GRITS46 3/28/2011 4:02PM

    Jill, what a poignant story of the changes that have taken place. When we reach 55 or 60, it's time to start thinking about healthy vs. anything else and yet circumstances can send us in the opposite direction. I'm so proud of you for realizing the changes you need to make, and for the 21 lbs. you've already lost. And you can do it! Together, you and I (close in age, both with some disabling joints, etc.) will get with the execise program doing what we can according to our bodies and we will eat healthy and track our food, TOGETHER!!! That's what SP is all about -- TOGETHER, TEAM WORK, PEOPLE CARING FOR EACH OTHER! I love it, and I love you!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TALLERANT 3/28/2011 2:50PM

    emoticon for sharing. 21# woohoo emoticon I loved the 10" challenge- I had to do 1 minute tnen 2...now I can do the whole 10" at one time most days(we are 23 degrees so my arthritis is its own challenge. ) emoticon and my emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/28/2011 2:50:45 PM

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GLOMER 3/28/2011 1:57PM

    Wow look at what you have done so far! Great start and progress - you will be there again with more news soon and I look forward to reading more about it. I hope I can blog the same loss you have also. Take care of yourself - by the way I could just barely do anything and went to Tai Chi anyway - met a leader that goes slow! There is chair Tai chi also - so you can still do it. I can keep up with the class and my neighbor who is over 300 pounds can now do it. Keep thinking positive and do a little bit each day - the good thing about the Tai Chi is that it helps with balance.
So I'm looking forward to hearing about when you get to all your dreams again. emoticon emoticon

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ANNEBURNELL 3/28/2011 1:01PM

    I appreciate your sharing, Jill. I'm sure it is painful. Few things...

1. Stay on track with your exercise. Regular, daily if possible.

2.Watch your diet, seek the help of a nutritionist if possible and STICK WITH IT!

3.Read the blogs of people like EMMABE1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.a

She and others who overcome tremendous obstacles to improve and lead others will inspire you.

4. Think back 15 or more years and how you felt in your body. Visualize and experience that feeling in your mind. Realize that it can be yours again. Visit this place every day for 5 minutes. Enjoy being back in that body. no walker, no aches and pains. Imagine playing with your Grandson o the floor in that 170 lb. body. This can be your motivation to become healthy.

5. Good health is not a state, it is a lifestyle. You learn to ENJOY that lifestyle and disregard your old lifestyle of inactivity and poor diet. Don't reject it... that will just give it more power. Ignore it because those unhealthy habits deserve NO attention. Focus on the good.

Think about this, Jill. And act.

Anyone else? Join in and let's help Jill enjoy her amazing life.

Stay strong,

Comment edited on: 3/28/2011 1:03:33 PM

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SURFCITYMOM 3/28/2011 1:01PM

    At our age (I will be 60 in Nov.) it doesn't become cosmetic to lose weight, but a dire necessity. I too am a single mom to a teenage son. He is an athlete and his mom is a slug! BUT, I want to feel healthier, and have him be proud of me. I am sure proud of him. I would like to be there when he graduates from college, gets married, has his first child, etc. Since I was an "older" new mom to start with, I have a deficit to overcome. We can do this!!! It may have taken 15 years to put the weight on, but it won't take that long to take it off (maybe only 5 years!!!).

PS - I was 165# when I got married (I'm only 5'5") but my divorce & custody battle put 60# on me.

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EVELYN5877 3/28/2011 11:34AM

    At about 200lbs I have about 70lbs to loose, I think its great that you are so determined to beat this. I don't know if this will help or not, feel free to ignore it. I have dieted half my life, although I was thin as a girl and in my twenties, I'm 60 now. I have tried everything, and although I always lost the weight, within a year I'd be heavier than when I started. I was widowed last year, and felt that the tomorrows were running out and I needed to do something to control this once and for all. Then I found Paul Mckennas' I can make you thin' book and hypnotherepy CD. It revolutionised the way I felt about food and myself. The CD reinforces it. Finally I am steadily loosing weight! I eat what I like, when I'm hungry. I actually now believe I will be slim again! Hope this helps. Good luck.

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MARSHASTAR 3/28/2011 11:21AM

    You are going to make steady progress, Jill. We are all in this together, and you know you can do this. You have the motivation. I'm inspired by your progress.
Twenty-one pounds is a great achievement.
Keep at it. Just keep at it.

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BEANZFRD 3/28/2011 9:54AM

    Twenty one pounds! That's amazing! Facing those demons is hard, and I admire you for that. Maybe you can't walk far or do alot of physical things yet, but you can do things to show yourself love and make yourself feel worthy. Don't think your life has to wait until you reach a goal weight. You are so much stronger than you realize! emoticon

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BETHV10 3/28/2011 9:33AM

    I have no doubt that you can succeed. It won't be overnight as we all have put it on over many years. The only thing that matters is that we NEVER give up. Life has a way of sometimes beating us up to where we just get so tired of trying. However, you have 3 wonderful sons that need you and love you as well as a grandson. You deserve to be healthy and enjoy your retirement. I don't really like to exercise either, but I try to do something everyday. Every little bit helps us. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHELLEY147 3/28/2011 9:24AM

    Before I read your blog today, I wrote my own version of an overdue blog. :) I loved how honest and open you were...you WILL succeed on your journey Jill!! ~huge hugs~

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STITCHINGNAN 3/28/2011 9:22AM

    You are off to a great start by recognisin yourself and not making excuses. Yes you can do it with sp and friends help. I look forward to future blogs telling us of your progress.,Ree emoticon

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SAGE150 3/28/2011 8:49AM

    Baby steps. Start with what you can do and slowly and safely challenge yourself with new things each week. If you can't complete a task, do half and start from there. You can do this. It might be helpful to look upon it like gradually training for and actively participating in the marathon of your life. You can't afford not to change if you want to be around to enjoy your own life and spend quality time with your family without such physical limitations.

You can do this!

Sage (from Emotional Eaters)

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DA_SILVA 3/28/2011 8:40AM

    Hi Jill, thanks for a great blog post. Very inspiring.
emoticon and you will.

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