JILL-A   2,705
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It's not going so good!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Why does this always happen? I am going along and eating good and "life" happens and i end up going off and messing up. Not for one meal, one day or one week but until I feel like getting back on.

I feel like such a failure right now. I am sitting here with a stomach ache from all the chocolate that I have eaten today. Last night I woke up with a stomach ache and thought I was going to throw up, probably from the cookies and girl scout cookies that I ate for dinner.

I have been eating out almost every meal this weekend and definitely not making good choices. Macaroni grill pasta and bread, Popeyes chicken, cheese cake....why am i doing this to myself. Why can't I understand that I can not eat this food.

It is like drugs to a drug addict. Once I start I can not stop. Once I give in and Cheat or fall off the wagon I can not get back on the wagon of eating right. I need to "detox" once and for all and not allow myself to cheat. It maybe hard and I may be a B!@$& during that time.....but in order to get where I want and to feel good about myself I need to do it! I need to attend "AA" in the form of exercise everyday and make sure I am living the life I want to lead....Strong and healthy not fat and with a stomach ache all the time from the nasty foods that I am putting in my body.

I need a "sponsor" (someone who has been there done it, recovered and living and eating healthy) anyone out there willing to be it?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FATSOP 1/20/2010 12:23PM

  I am the same way. I managed to lose 45 on WW a couple years ago after my fourth baby was born, then some major things happened in my family and I turned to food. I just started WW, on my own, almost six weeks ago and have lost 17 pounds so far. For me, I have adjusted the program to work for me which means having one day a week where I eat anything, and everything, I want. I usually don't feel great that night, but I can tell you that I have no problem waiting a week for that "bad" day again. I even think of what I haven't had in a long time that I really want, and I make sure I have it on the bad day. Friday is my bad day and it has really worked for me. I have yet to start exercising again, but I will eventually work that in to my routine and I know that will make me feel even better. Do not feel bad or guilty, all you can do is the best you can do. I need to accept that I will not weigh what I weighed 20 yrs ago when I first met my husband and before having kids, but I will be within 10 pounds of that, like I was a year and a half ago, ugh!! Keep on keepin' on, you're worth it and you can do it. Good luck.

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MYJANDM 1/19/2010 9:02AM

    So, yours was cookies, mine was Ho-ho's! Someone brought 'em for the kids, I ate 'em for some reason,the kids never even saw them,there were six.I've never had a Ho-ho before. For me, the most logical, comforting, realistic thing about this whole "mission" that we're on, is that every day, EVERY SINGLE DAY, we can make it right. Be kind to yourself. So, you ate too much chocolate and over-ate this weekend. This is a new moment. Set yourself straight, stop feeling bad for yourself, do it right. Let's say, you eat 5 times a day for a week. That's 35 meals in all. You mess up 5 of them- that's 30 meals you did right.Not so bad.You don't need a sponsor except for yourself. I'm the biggest choco-holic I know. I let myself have ice cream with my kids every Saturday nite. Sometimes it goes right into Sunday! Somethimes it doesn't. The bottom line is, I'm eating good foods, I'm moving this body, and I'm feeling good.Think about how bad you want a change, get mad, and do it.And when you think that you're the only one, find one of us. Mary

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DDOORN 1/19/2010 2:16AM

    I and MANY of us are TOTAL addicts! Sugar and refined carbs act that way for many!

Clear the decks, pull the plug on all refined carbs...get 'em outta the house!

Baby steps, one foot ahead of the other

You can DO IT! :-)


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It is going good :)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

I have decided to do the clean eating thing, although my friend is still trying to convince me to do the medifast diet. She lost 3.5 pounds in her first two days. I am happy for her but I know for me it is not something I would be able to stick to. She almost gave up on day two. I was able to encourage her to stick with it since she paid so much money. She is now on day four.....now back to me!

Today is day three of clean eating. The first day I would say was 99% clean. I did drink my coke zero but I got a good amount of water in also. I no coke zero is definitely no clean but if that is the one thing that I keep....for now.....then that is what I am going to do! :)

The second day was about 80% clean I would say. I did not eat as often as I should have and dinner I did have about 1/2 cup of white rice...oh and about 1/2 a cup of vanilla ice cream....but everything else was good. I should have drank more water yesterday.

So on to day three.....My goal for today is to drink more water and stick to clean as much as possible. I plan to eat clean whenever possible. My only worry is tonight when I am suppose to go out with a friend....to a martini bar. WHAT TO DO! WHAT TO DO?

OK off to do the laundry and clean the house. SO FUN! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DDOORN 1/14/2010 8:08PM

    Martini bar?

Water or seltzer with a slice of lemon...yum! :-)


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Its a new day....maybe a new diet?

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I have been debating for the last few days, maybe a week about doing the Medifast plan. My friend was telling me that she was thinking about doing it and that she was going to meet with a health coach to discuss the plan. I decided to go with her. The promise of quick weight loss is so enticing. But can I stick to it? I have done weight watchers...which has always worked for me....but I need to be able to go to meeting and there is none where I am at now. I have tried Atkins but did not stick to it. I have done Lindora. I actually worked for them. It worked but again it was harder to stick to. I only had a few pounds to lose when I started with them....and I lost the weight...but again they are in the states and I am here in Japan. I have bought every diet book and a lot of fitness videos. I just can't seems to find the right thing for me while I am here in Japan.

I have gained 30 pounds since being here. There is no weight watchers, there is no Lindora. The two plans that have worked for me in the past. Sparkpeople is wonderful but I either am always on here (taking to much time) or not on here at all. I need to find a happy medium and stick with it. I need to find the right team, the right friends, the right diet or should I say lifestyle change.

I feel like a failure because I can not find the right place for me. I can not stick to what I am doing. I spend so much money on fitness magazines and books but I do not use the knowledge that I learn in them.

Why is this? what is holding me back? I think about weight loss, my weight, and fitness every singles day....I would even venture to say that 99% of the time that is what is on my mind and consumes my thoughts. If it is that important to me and I think about it so much....why am I unable to stick to something that will work for me?

As much as I am thinking about medifast i think I am going to pass on it....for now. I can not say forever. I would really like to do it the more natural way. eating food, the right food, and exercising.

I got a few new books in the mail the other day and I was looking over the new addition of the clean eating diet. I think I am going to try cooler plan number one. It says it is hard and there is little wiggle room and is not for everyone but it does not look that bad to me. There are some things that I am unable to get over here in Japan but I will just substitute them with something else that is allowed.

Wish me luck. Going to get the things I need tonight after work and start preparing to eat healthy tomorrow.

Have you tried the cooler plan....let me know how it was for you!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JCORYCMA 1/10/2010 11:02PM

    I invite you to my spark page and look for my blog Nobody's Perfect. I blogged about how I yo-yo dieted on so many different diets until I was age 49 and had finally had enough. I tell you what worked for me and I lost 70 lbs. and have kept it off for 4 years now. Definitely spend an evening searching through the spark teams and look for some active teams with things that interest you. Huddle daily and read blogs and pay attention to the forums. Motivation abounds! It's best not to lose weight unrealistically. Slow and steady really does win the race. Take a tip from The Spark - make yourself a vision collage. It was a great exercise for me as I'm always seeking inspiration to maintain! Best Wishes, Sweetie. YOU CAN DO IT!!
Joanne emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DDOORN 1/10/2010 9:43PM

    Don't know about you, but I am DONE with diets!

The only interest I have in a "diet" is whether there is something about the approach that I might want to incorporate into my lifestyle.

My favorite inspiration for healthy eating is Michael Pollan:


Medifast is not normal eating...so what does one do when the medifast stops...?

Stick with food (REAL food), mostly plants, not too much.

What could be simpler? :-)


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A carrot and egg and a cup of coffee

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Butterfyemerge had this on her blog and I just wanted to remember it so i am reposting it here.......

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling.... It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans... She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.... Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way...

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you (I JUST DID); to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.

May we all be COFFEE.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SFTBLENGNRGRL 9/26/2009 12:34PM

    Thank you for posting this. You have just made my day and helped my re-examine my life and what I stand for.

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VRCATON 9/24/2009 11:52PM

    That is great, I'm glad you posted it! Thanks!

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9/18/09....Happy 2nd Anniversary to me!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Someone left a congratulations comment on my sparkpage about it being my 2nd anniversary! I was not even aware! WOW! It really has been that long?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I have NOT been an active participant for the whole time and to think it was 2 years ago that I first logged into sparkpeople is sad for me! TWO YEARS wasted! To think if I got my stuff together and did what sparkpeople told me to, 2 years ago, I would be enjoying my new body right now! I would be strong and lean. I can not say for sure but....I bet I would not have dealt with Mono for so long. The reason I say that is because if I had been doing what I should have been doing I would be eating healthy and getting in all the vitamins and minerals I should be getting in. I would be less stressed since a lot of my stress is due to my weight and I would be exercise which always seems to help with the stress. So vitamins, minerals, exercise and less stress equals a stronger immune system which probably means I would have been able to fight off the mono easier. So know all that and writing it here and thinking about it all has made me think....

I have been making so many excuses as to why I can't do it, why I am failing, why I have no motivation, why I am sabotaging myself, and so on. Yes there is no weight watchers here and yes it is harder since produce is more expensive and I can not get some of the ingredients that I would like to have here. I can not get fresh chicken..only frozen. I have no Trader Joes or Whole Foods. Yes it sucks but it does not mean I can do with what I have and make it work. No I do not have a gym that has child care but I do have time before and after work that I can work out. And my husband is actually here and not deployed and he can help me with child care. I have a 14 year old son that can stay with the two younger kids. If I really wanted it I could be doing it! And not someday but TODAY!

SOMEDAY is NOT a day of the week.....So as I wrote in my community journal I am going to stop saying SOMEDAY....and Start it now, today!

My SparkPeople New Years resolution is to use the resources that sparkpeople has given to me! I am going to do it this year. This is the year! I have to! I want to! I AM GOING TO!

and for those of you that are reading this.....If you want to keep me accountable please do so! Please get on me when i do not log my food or exercise. Keep me accountable and remind me about this resolution that I have made with myself and sparkpeople!

Thanks for reading....more to come!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JILL-A 9/20/2009 8:32PM

    Thanks guys!

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JUDYPOPPINS 9/20/2009 12:11PM

    Happy Anniversary, Jill. Don't look back at things you haven't done; look forward to all the great things you are going to do now because SOMEDAY is now!!
..*) .*)
(. (. (..`*.

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DAVEFITZ1 9/20/2009 4:35AM

    Happy anniversary Jill. emoticon

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