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Stumble...Trip...Fall Flat on My Face...GET BACK UP!!!

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

So 2012 proved to not be all that I had hoped it would be. I had such big plans to put into action the success I had getting in shape in 2010. But, motherhood, life and a lack of focus tripped me up more times than I would like to admit. Now that 2013 is here, how can I not fall in that pit again?

-Hmm, well for one I need to be on Sparkpeople daily. So, yesterday I downloaded the app for it so I don't have an excuse for not logging my food.
-2nd- I am going to take baby steps to change these bad habits

Now it's on to the how? Well from my previous blog entry, I had laid out all of my weaknesses and bad habits. I will revisit that blog to help remind me, better yet I need to memorize it and live it out daily. I also need to be accountable to myself and not blame situations as much as I need to be more mindful of what I am putting in my mouth. Because I love to eat, no point in denying that...it's obvious.

My other bad habit...I am a couch potato and I spend a lot of time sitting either on the couch or at the computer. Since I am a stay at home mom, it should be no problem to get off my duff more often. So, my plan is to keep the house spiffy. Which will be two-fold beneficial since I will be burning more calories throughout the day and have a cleaner house. Sweet! In addition to the daily moving about, I am striving to exercise 3-4 days a week. Which is something I enjoy because I can go to the gym and they watch my girls and I get to be along. Ahhhh! My other exercising option is to play my new exercise game on the Xbox Kinect. Which looks to be a fun and challenging game. No excuses right? Right!!

Here we go again...glad that I have my previous success to fuel my courage and give me hope that I can conquer this once again. Good Luck to all in your goals for 2013!! emoticon


My many traps, bad habits and weaknesses

Thursday, January 05, 2012

I have been going over in my mind the things that make me stumble or straight out fall flat on my face when trying to make better choices for myself. I know my childhood is where a lot of my bad habits started and for me and my husband we work at preventing our daughters from developing some of the same bad habits that we had.
So, in order for us as a family to keep on a healthy focus I needed to work on recognizing all my weaknesses and triggers be it an actual food or place. So, this is what I got....
1. My husband's parents' home-they have a stocked pantry with way too many things to try out, we go out to eat a lot when there and our big meals are back to back meaning we will get done with a big lunch and then go have a big dinners within 3-4 hours after. So, I often mindlessly eat and eat when I am not really hungry because that is just what we have always done.

2. My grandmother's-she has way too much sweets(both her and her husband are diabetic too) and salty snacks out in full view. Plus she is a food pusher and thinks eating healthy is bad(well at least that is how it seems). Tried to convince me yesterday that I should not eat spinach because Ray Romano got kidney stones from eating them. Hmm, what about not drinking enough water? Looked it up, it's a controversial topic and most researchers find that spinach consumption by someone not predisposed to have them typically are fine consuming, nor have I ever had any problems with kidney stones. Read drinking water is more critical at preventing...but I digress... emoticon

3. Parties and get togethers, I am a foodie and always want to try everything.

4. Restaurants, especially Italian and Mexican-hello bread and chips & salsa!!

Trigger Foods
1. sweets, especially cookies, cake, ice cream...ok most sweets...chocolate!

2. chips and dips

3. breads

4. Italian or Mexican

5. cheesy things

So, now that I realize this what do I do? Can I avoid this stuff all together? No... Best thing for me at the current moment is to avoid some food items since I am only a week into this but I will address my loves as I gain stability and focus on not mindlessly eating things especially things I don't love. I will be mindful of not walking into kitchens in a trance and grabbing and putting food in my mouth without thinking. Those are bad habits that got me to over 230 pounds ++. I guess for me the take away lesson is to be mindful in my food choices and my situations where there are lots of bad choices. Dear Lord Help Me be Good(90% of the time)! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANLUND 1/14/2012 7:13AM

    I agree...knowing your weaknesses is key to success. You can do this. I know that it is hard to avoid these situations, so you have to build up your self-control. I've been trying to eat only when my kids are awake. That way they see me eating and I am more conscious of what I am putting in my body. Would I allow them to have this????

Good luck!

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HENRYNOLAN 1/5/2012 10:44AM

    knowing your weaknesses is a great way to try and defeat them! good for you taking the time to outline your greatest obstacles. great start to your new year! emoticon

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LPERKINS75 1/5/2012 9:47AM

    You and I are a lot alike. I live with the in-laws that don't eat well and eat out all of the time. I fell into the habit of going out to eat with them when I moved in here, Yeah. Not good. Also, they are diabetics and eat all kinds of crap. There are always cookies, donuts, pies, cakes, etc. laying around. I have to try to hide it all from the kids.


Anyways, you are on the right track. Each day you will learn a little more about yourself. Keep up the good work!

You can do this!

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Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Here I am on this fun adventure of weight loss. I have taken a bit of a detour since summer of 2010. In September 2010, I became pregnant with my daughter Zoe and at that time had gained around 10 pounds back. Then around early November came the morning sickness, which oddly makes me want to eat bad. I could not keep anything remotely healthy down or stomach the thought of eating it. Also, smells made me so nauseous that there was no cooking in our house until Christmas. So, I always wanted fast food and I drank lots of sugary iced tea because water made me gag. Hello, baby you are not helping me on preventing excess weight gain!! So, my first trimester I had gained 20 pounds!! When it was all said and done I gained 65 pounds, yowza!! Pretty depressing but I got a healthy baby from it all, and that's all that matters right?? Within 6 weeks I lost 35 pounds and then that was it. And over the course of the last 5 months I have gained back 7 pounds. As emoticon

So, I decided I would just let 2011 run it's course and enjoy myself a little too much. But, I learned something which I seem to keep relearning and then forgetting when I see the sweet seduction of a cookie. This stuff all makes me feel and operate like crap!!! Hello, seriously could you stop eating and then overeating all this junk! (That's my body talking) That brings me to this week, I literally started New Year's day on my get healthy trek after spending New Year's Eve, eating nacho dip, pizza and downing half of a bottle of champagne. Come Sunday morning I was done with all that craziness and ready to get this ball a rolling again...

Over the past few days I have seen huge improvements in my energy and overall sense of well being. Here are some of my goals and objectives for the next month.
1. Eat Clean-ie, fruits, veg, lean protein, high fiber, low sodium...
3. Water 64oz daily-easy do that already, not a big pop fan
4. Start Exercise again (during my daughter's morning naps to be exact)
5. Log, log, log

So, how have I done in these short 4 days? Excellent! I have been eating really well, logging everything, staying within all my limits, had a super fun dancing workout in my living room yesterday, drinking plenty of water and being very productive around the house and with my family in general. Also, I have almost lost 5 pounds!! I know big numbers in weight loss will be short lived but hey it's a good boost in the right direction!

This year it's all about a new attitude, treating my body like a temple instead of a trash can and trying new adventures.

I feel like so far I am on the right track.

My first new adventure....Zip Lining over the Super Bowl village at the end of the month....oh boy fear of heights don't take over me.

My next adventure....First trip to Mexico in April to Playa Del Carmen, so I am really motivated to get these pounds a rolling soon!!

Here's to a new you, a new attitude and getting it together!!

2012 is going to Rock!! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDATWIN2 1/5/2012 8:06AM

    Way to GOOOOO !!!!!
You're an inspiration to all young
mothers !
Happy New Year !

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Are you in a funk?

Saturday, June 05, 2010

So, I have had an epiphany in the past few days that I think is important to share in case there is some one out there struggling with this. So, I have been looking back at the old me, 50#'s heavier verses the new me and I can say not only has my weight changed but my life entirely. Here are the things that I realized.

I was in general miserable once I got over 200#'s so that has been since my early 20's. I am by nature a take charge, and some times bossy type person. I do believe that my relationship with some people was hurting because I was too lazy to do things myself so I bossed them around.(they know who they are) I felt undeserving of a good life and a good husband. And even though I would like to say if I gained it all back I would feel differently, I am not sure at this point I could say that. Back in 2004 my husband and I both started our get healthy program, he got with the program and I fell off the boat. He became a runner and did his first half marathon in 2005. I on the other hand lost some and then slowly gained it all back. I wasn't motivated, I was discouraged, envious of my husband's success and I was anxiously trying to get pregnant. That equaled to weight gain. So by the time I became pregnant, I had pretty much gained everything back that I got off the year before.

My husband and I were talking about it today and he said that I used to say that he deserved a better wife. The old me makes me sad, I wish she would have known how deserving she is of a good life and an awesome husband. I think what saved me was getting treated for asthma and then finding exercise that I love. I encourage you to love yourself as you are today and to try a little bit harder to be the best person you can be. Find exercise you love and eat what makes your body feel good. My favorite exercises are group exercise classes - LOVE them! Enjoy this life and your loved ones, life is too short and precious to waste it on self loathing and feeling awful. Here's to a healthy and happy life!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MONIKALW81 6/22/2010 10:26PM

    I'm so glad you shared this (a few week ago obviously, but somehow I missed it)! Very encouraging!

When people ask what kind of exercise I do and I tell them I run...I always follow that up with, "But you don't have to be a runner! Just find something you enjoy and stick with it!" You're so much more likely to be successful if you find something you love to do:) Hope all is well your world these days!

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MRILEY123 6/5/2010 8:15PM

    Thanks for the inspiration and reminder. I'm so proud of you for sticking with it! Martha

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HARTINGL52 6/5/2010 6:47PM

    You became a new person with your struggles. Your struggles bridged you to be who you are now. Sometimes our funks can be our blessings if we seek to reflect where we are at in the walk of life. Koodoos to you. emoticon

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A litte tweak here and there...

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

So, my weight loss lately has been anything but impressive and I really haven't tried to figure out why it's taken me over a month to lose 3 pounds. But now I have focused on what is going on. Well I will tell you, I am eating too much for my smaller size! I plugged in the numbers in the weight goal tracker. Changed my starting weight to the current and changed the date to today and oh my have I been eating way too much!! Plus I had put in that I was going to burn 800 calories on my exercise days which now requires 2 hours of cardio to burn that off. So, now it's time for a new game plan. Not sure if I can go this low on the calories, but I have to try if I want to get these last 30#'s off.

I was watching Biggest Loser last night and the constant question Jillian asks all of the contestants is why did you get to be x# pounds? I always hear her say that but I don't think I have fully pondered it myself. Right now what is motivating me is my family and having another baby and wanting to have a really healthy pregnancy. But after I have another baby then what? Will I go back to my old ways? I wonder and I still don't know. But this is what I do know about why I have always struggled with my weight.
1. Poor food choices available to me at a young age.
2. Never was taught self control while eating. So, with most of the adults in my life I could eat as much of whatever I wanted.
3. I like food and I want to try it all and I will eat it even if I don't love it.
4. I eat when I am happy and celebrating, bored, upset, and depressed.
5. I eat when I feel guilty about not exercising.
6. I used to always think about what I was going to eat at my next meal or snack, I do that less now.
7. I used to avoid exercise because it hurt too much to breath.
8. I am still afraid to push myself, like running.
9. I always gave up with sports etc, if I couldn't get it immediately.
10. I have always felt that I was undeserving of love and happiness when I was overweight, like I had failed my husband.

So, what have I changed? Hmm, some of it I have modified but I am not "cured" so to speak. How do I know I won't go back to my old ways? I really can't say for sure but I do know that I will try my hardest to keep my health and fitness at the front of my mind and keep reminding myself how hard and how far I have come. That I am beautiful no matter what and that my weight and my clothes, make up etc is not what makes me beautiful. I am a loving mother and wife, I do deserve a happy marriage and happy life, I do have friends who care and I do deserve to be treated kindly. I feel like I really believe that now, I used to think that because of my weight that I didn't deserve any of it. I know my husband was attracted to me when I was heavier but I didn't think I deserved it, now I hope that no matter what life deals me that I do deserve love and that I shouldn't try to sabotage the good things that I have in my life. We all can be our own worst enemy.

I have been treated for asthma and I feel much better with that, so maybe I should try and really push myself to run as far as I can. My longest is 5 minutes which I don't think is too bad! But now it's time for more. I have a mini marathon in a few weeks and I plan to run some of it. 1 I do exercise consistently and I have found activities that I love, such as Zumba!

I still love food and I still really have to watch myself especially at night and social situations. I am working on making sure I have calories after dinner so I can snack a little. I also need to watch the junk food more, instead of just eating it to fill in the calories for the day. I do portion control pretty regularly and I do limit myself. I probably still indulge in sweets more than I should, but I wouldn't say that I binge anymore. I do think about what I am going to eat for the day but it's not because it gives me so much pleasure and that I fantasize about it (ok well maybe a little when it involves a special treat!) but really it's just so I don't go over my range.

All in all I think I am doing an excellent job, I have come so far. I do enjoy the compliments and it does motivate me. But, I have to look internally to keep this going no amount of compliments can help you through the long haul. Getting to your goal and staying there. Because people will get used to the new you and the compliments will fade and you are left to deal with the new you. So you have to do it for you and you alone.

One of the most important factors for me in this journey is every time I tried to do this before I went alone without God helping me along. Now I have opened my body, mind and soul up to Him and asked Him to help me do what comes naturally to others. This process has been challenging but compared to past efforts it's been amazing how easy it is when I have Jesus take the wheel and direct me. If you would like to have a relationship with Jesus, all you have to do is to ask for Him to come into your life and that you believe He is your personal savior and path to God. Then ask Him to forgive you of your sins and to open you heart up to God so He can help you in your life. It's amazing the transformations that can happen in your life when you open up yourself completely to God; cleansing your body, mind and soul. It is life transforming!

I hope everyone has a great week! God Bless!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANLUND 4/18/2010 9:07PM

    Amazing reflections! You are doing such a fantastic job. I know what you mean about eating too much for your new weight. It really changes things when you enter the new information.

I know that you can do this. Keep it up!

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SPARKIE1964 4/16/2010 11:01PM

    You're making serious progress in so many ways. You ARE doing it, one day a time. When we love ourselves we know that we deserve all the good in our lives. Enjoy the moment as we are perpetual students of life, learning every day. You do look amazing and clearly you're feeling it. Embrace that feeling!


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SWEETZMIX 4/14/2010 12:14PM

    Sounds like you are growing as a person. No one is perfect, but just the thought of realizing stuff within yourself takes a lot.

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