Friday, August 05, 2011
I am definitely in a cycle right now where I manage to lose a few pounds, and then have a couple of "bad" days and gain those few pounds right back.
Why is it different this time? This time it's better for two reasons.
First, mentally I am in a place where I more clearly see what I am doing on those "bad" days. In other words, like I already said in my previous post, I know that my scale isn't so tricky and it's actually downright honest. This clarity doesn't make the "2 steps back" any more fun, but it's still attitude improvement in the right direction.
Second, I am not letting those 2 steps back get me down. Instead of letting it lead me into some kind of negative spiral, where I tell myself, "What's the point?" and then give up, I am being far more objective and far less emotional. I kind of say, "Yep, that sucks. But not surprising because yesterday I did x,y, and z. Let's do better today!"
So, hopefully soon that will all translate to 4 steps forward and just 2 steps back!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
As promised, for the past 2 days I've payed much closer attention to my activity level and to what I eat in a day. And now I have to admit to everyone - not once, but twice! - that I'm wrong.
I still want to believe that tricky scale is telling lies, and that my weight fluctuations from day to day are random and not at all related to my food and exercise habits from the past 24 hours (water retention, anyone?). But I can no longer do that. Here's what I'm wrong about:
1. Tracking your food really does make a big, big difference.
I've been avoiding this feature of SP for a couple of weeks now. I've refused to join Weight Watchers because I'm so uninterested in tracking the points in my food (Note to WW: we know this is really just calorie counting for the math-impaired, you're not fooling anyone!). But I finally started adding to my Nutrition Tracker and even if I can't figure out the exact calorie counts, I figure I am at least writing it all in one place so that I can no longer "forget" something I ate in a day.
Well, guess what happened? The first day I wanted that Tracker to look good, so I was very "good" (i.e., didn't roam the house randomly eating anything I came across)...and the next morning the number on that stupid scale went down.
Then yesterday I had less self-control (I'm an emotional eater, it was related to my procrastinating about getting something done at work that I'm not sure I can do). Ok, a lot less. Like, instead of 1 Italian sausage for dinner, I had 2.5. Oops. And this morning, that crazy scale called me on it. Oops.
2. My husband was correct - I do eat more/worse food and move less than I used to.
Thank goodness he doesn't read this blog! The last thing I need is for him to start thinking I thing he's right about things! But just between you and I - he is.
Ok, so reality faced. But this is a really good thing. Now it's time for me to make some changes and eat like I did on that first day, when my [less tricky than I thought] scale reflected weight lost. Onward and upward! (Or in this case, maybe what I really mean is "Onward and downward!")
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Although I've been on SP for a little while now, this is my first blog entry. I think it's an appropriate time for me to start because I am realizing that I've been shrouded in a cloud of misperception. It is time for me to stop ignoring the facts and instead embrace what is real so I can acknowledge it and move forward.
See, last night I was talking to my (wonderful) husband. He kindly asked me what was wrong because he could tell something had been bothering me lately. So I finally came clean. I explained to him that I was feeling depressed because the scale was being so extremely unfair.
I mean, here I am, making so many positive and wonderful changes, and that darned scale had the nerve - the audacity! - to not only refuse to show me the smaller numbers I need, it was actually showing an INCREASE in my weight! How could that scale do this to me?
I mean, now that I work from home, my quality of life had improved dramatically. I move more throughout the day! I walk up the stairs to get water! I take a 10 minute walk at lunchtime! I've added exercise to my mornings! I eat less than I used to! Why is life so unfair? It's clearly not me. I must have a broken scale. Or a hormonal imbalance that prevents me from losing weight. Or some other illness that means my weight gain is a result of factors outside of my control.
But then my husband asked me if I really was moving more during the day... So I thought about it... And he reminded me of the long walk from the parking lot to the building that I no longer have twice/day working from home. And the 3 flights of stairs I no longer climb to get to my desk. And the long hallway I no longer walk down to get to the restroom. And the meetings I just pick up a phone for instead of walking to the conference room.
He also reminded me that although I believe I'm doing better eating, I just might be doing worse. When we were on our own (we moved in with my parents 6 months ago - another story for another time), we never would have made hot dogs and chili cheese fries for dinner. We never baked cakes or brownies to have for dessert. We rarely even kept ice cream or cheese puffs or potato chips in the house. He reminded me that although Subway is excellent choice for lunch, my dinners and evenings didn't fall into the Subway category.
So I've thought about it a lot in the past few hours, and I realize that my husband is right. (Don't tell him I said that!) So I'm taking some time today to acknowledge reality, to think about my food choices for the past few days and be objective and honest about what I chose to eat (and how much I chose to eat). And then I'm going to do better. What that looks like specifically I still need some time to figure out, but I think that it's a step in the right direction for me to have this reality check.
What about everyone else out there? Did you have a moment of clarity when you were forced to face facts? What did that look like and how did you move forward from there?
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