Monday, September 02, 2013
Hitting the big 5-1 today.
It is humid as hell.
I am running my 45th 5K.
It has been a troubling year. And it is times like this that I am more melancholy and reflect back, and the reflection is not a positive one.
I am well aware of what I have accomplished ... and what I haven't. Of what exists ... and what doesn't. Of what is easy ... and what is difficult. Of what is here ... and what can never be here again.
Now, don't go nuts. I am not in such an awful despair that I need medical intervention.
I am just tired of, well, of all of the stuff from this year from Hades.
And stuff is not the word I would use, but this is Spark, so stuff it is.
My birthday wish, to YOU, and to myself, is that we all deal with a lot less stuff in the next 12 months.
Monday, August 05, 2013
This song has some not so nice lyrics. Proceed accordingly.
Life has lately been a slog. I can't really say any more. I have been exercising and watching, don't worry about that. It's just watching everything around me get nutty. And I can't really give specifics (privacy of others).
I'll just say that I am tired of having this weight on me.
Or at least I would like for it to count as strength training.
Monday, July 22, 2013
A quick post.
I doubt I got the job referenced in my last blog post. Ah, well. And so it goes, like Nick Lowe sings.
I do need to get out of my own way, in that and in all other areas.
It has been hot as hell here, and it is finally a semblance of cooling down, but it stills feels humid and draggy here, as if July were bumping along a rough and muddy road, getting mired down in, well, I don't know what. The past, maybe. Julys often seem difficult, I have found. Likely it is due to the weather, but also due to the late, late sun. I suffer from seasonal affective disorder, so not enough sun is also a cause for concern, but I think too much light can do it, too. It just seems like too too much, like a radio that's too loud, or perfume that's too cloying or a too-sweet artificially sweetened so-called treat with a bitter aftertaste.
But enough; I said this was going to be a short entry, and so it shall be. I need to go out and walk before it gets hot again.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Man oh man, the heat continues. We had a few days of a reprieve and now we're back to it. In between there, I ran my - no lie - 44th 5K.
It was NOT a pretty sight. It wasn't sunny and it was actually not too super-hot but man oh man it was humid. It was like moving through a wet rag. And of course speed suffers from such things. Ah, well. I don't run 'em to qualify for the Olympics or anything, yanno.
In the meantime, I am more actively looking for work. Today I had my third phone screen and - eek - I am afraid that, this time, I blew it. I was late, and that is never a good sign. It is hard to recover from that, and it was my own stupid fault. At least I admitted it, but I feel dopey. It just feels like it was going along all right and then I tripped over my own feet.
So, amidst the ugly sweaty humidity, I also feel like I screwed up royally. Feh.
Good news? I suppose there is some. I have been drowning my sorrows in water and not ice cream.
But this was, possibly, another form of self-sabotage. And that has got to stop.
Monday, July 08, 2013
I think I posted this song fairly recently, but no matter. Consider it a reprise.
Man oh man it is HOT!
We had, what was it? Four? Five? Whatever - it has been a lotta over 90 days. Today, we are going up to the low 80s. Hey, it'll be awesome!
Eh, who am I kidding?
But at least it's almost 9:30 AM and currently the a/c is off. Let's see how long that lasts.
And one thing I have in my head is the memory of similar heat waves past, back into before 2008, which is when I started sparking and started losing.
And I was HOT! And I was hot a lot more often and for a lot longer than I am these days. Those were days that I would lurch from the bedroom a/c to the computer room a/c to the TV room a/c and I would sleep a lot during the day because I just felt so godawful and I had zero energy.
You may be asking yourself how I have been handling this current heatwave.
Or maybe you aren't, but I will gladly ask that question for you. ;)
I'm doing okay. I have escaped to napping a little bit; sometimes, it really has been that brutal. But it took a lot more for me to cry uncle and really get to that point. I also went out and walked, either super-early or super-late, all days but one. And I strength-trained every single morning, including this one.
Did I lose weight? Nope, I gained, albeit not that much. But I think more importantly is that I was able to get through this like a lot less of a slug. The weather has been horrific but it also has not turned into a built-in excuse to just throw in the towel.
So, victory may not be mine, but defeat isn't, either.
And I will take that, so long as it's wrapped in a ziploc bag with a ton of ice, thanks.
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