JESPAH   190,375
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JESPAH's Recent Blog Entries

They're Listening to the Weather

Monday, September 02, 2013

www.youtube.com/watch?v=69R_Uf57R0U

Hitting the big 5-1 today.

It is humid as hell.

I am running my 45th 5K.

It has been a troubling year. And it is times like this that I am more melancholy and reflect back, and the reflection is not a positive one.

I am well aware of what I have accomplished ... and what I haven't. Of what exists ... and what doesn't. Of what is easy ... and what is difficult. Of what is here ... and what can never be here again.

Now, don't go nuts. I am not in such an awful despair that I need medical intervention.

I am just tired of, well, of all of the stuff from this year from Hades.

And stuff is not the word I would use, but this is Spark, so stuff it is.

My birthday wish, to YOU, and to myself, is that we all deal with a lot less stuff in the next 12 months.

Enjoy Bjork.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DDOORN 9/9/2013 9:15PM

    Hang in there Jes...sending wishes for a whole lot more SPARK in the year ahead and a whole lot less of...that other stuff which shall remain nameless...! :-)

Don

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CDCSMITH2013 9/4/2013 6:58AM

    Happy belated birthday! I've been trying to cancel this year, but apparently I haven't gotten enough people to agree with me or something because, well, it keeps continuing. I hope you get your wish (in part because selfishly, I'd like less "stuff" too).

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SWEETZMIX 9/4/2013 5:17AM

    Happy Belated Birthday! Dealing with a lot less stuff will be great especially if we are talking about a lot less stressful & negative stuff!

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PHEBESS 9/3/2013 5:06AM

    Happy birthday, and I hope your next one brings you closer to all your goals and aspirations!!!!

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JIBBIE49 9/3/2013 1:22AM

    Happy Birthday. The Virgo girl never has an easy life. She's born to a mother who wasn't happy with the money the father made, so she always fears she doesn't have enough. But Virgo is very smart and she makes a good health provider or teacher or both. Virgo learned to be critical because of having a critical parent. So, she always is her worst enemy with the self talk that is critical. Chose to be happy.

Virgo will walk away from a relationship and not look back once it is over. She knows she can make it on her own. She is capable of going it alone. But, she isn't cut out to be obese as she is a slim person by nature. She needs that feeling of health. (Virgo rules the Sixth House of HEALTH.) She has to take care of her bowels as they are her weak area.

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MADERINERUE 9/2/2013 4:27PM

    He knows how many freckles she's got
She scratches his beard

Happy birthday, dear Jespah, happy birthday to you.

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SWEETYOUNGTHING 9/2/2013 11:57AM

    Happy Birthday - you're very introspective and aware. I like that. I've had a heck of a year emotionally, myself, and am starting to come out of the funk I've been in. It is taking a lot of thinking and sorting out. I find writing things down and making notes to/for myself helps.

Enjoy your birthday - I love being in my 50s emoticon

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CAROLISCIOUS 9/2/2013 10:47AM

    emoticon

I'm "all in" on your one wish!

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MS.ELENI 9/2/2013 10:31AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DOGLADY13 9/2/2013 10:27AM

    Happy Birthday! Running a 5K is a great way to celebrate.

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DMPRIDER 9/2/2013 10:14AM

    Happy birthday. I hope the coming year is a good one with lots of good stuff in it.

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ADARKARA 9/2/2013 9:00AM

    emoticon

I hope this year is better than last year, too!

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While I'm Putting the World to Right

Monday, August 05, 2013

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVwrrkt22Ag

This song has some not so nice lyrics. Proceed accordingly.

Life has lately been a slog. I can't really say any more. I have been exercising and watching, don't worry about that. It's just watching everything around me get nutty. And I can't really give specifics (privacy of others).

I'll just say that I am tired of having this weight on me.

Or at least I would like for it to count as strength training.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWEETZMIX 8/17/2013 1:00AM

    When everything around us is getting "nutty" as you say, don't you just wish you can put yourself in a bubble. Keep taking care of yourself, that's all you can do for now.

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BABAJEAN 8/11/2013 11:57AM

    no specifics from me either - BUT - talk about being surrounded by nutty- I relate !!! as my 84 year aunt always says - NUTS TO IT ALL - Keep going - We are all hanging in there with each other !

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MADERINERUE 8/6/2013 8:30PM

    I hear you, sister! I think it DOES count as strength training...sometimes for the muscles of our lips, keeping them closed...sometimes for the muscles of our souls, slogging the slog. Sending love and strength your way!

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SEAJESS 8/5/2013 1:23PM

    Love your idea of considering it strength training! Be gentle with yourself while you're "in it". Your situation will certainly change at some point!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MS.ELENI 8/5/2013 11:20AM

    Hang in there. It will get better. It does make it harder when surrounded with drama.

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DDOORN 8/5/2013 9:06AM

    Nutty does seem to be the rule these days in our country...

http://m.dailykos
.com/story/2013/08/01/1228320/-
The-Fawning-Police-State-The-Ap
ex-of-American-Insanity-Has-Bee
n-Reached

Good to hear you're holding firm on exercise and food. Been wrestling too with whether or not I can get serious enough to shake off these extra pounds. But holding level in the meantime.

Don

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PHEBESS 8/5/2013 8:02AM

    Just sending you hugs - and whatever it is, it won't last forever. Even though it feels like it at the time.

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But Where It's Goin' No One Knows

Monday, July 22, 2013

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7O4GagrfqO8

A quick post.

I doubt I got the job referenced in my last blog post. Ah, well. And so it goes, like Nick Lowe sings.

I do need to get out of my own way, in that and in all other areas.

It has been hot as hell here, and it is finally a semblance of cooling down, but it stills feels humid and draggy here, as if July were bumping along a rough and muddy road, getting mired down in, well, I don't know what. The past, maybe. Julys often seem difficult, I have found. Likely it is due to the weather, but also due to the late, late sun. I suffer from seasonal affective disorder, so not enough sun is also a cause for concern, but I think too much light can do it, too. It just seems like too too much, like a radio that's too loud, or perfume that's too cloying or a too-sweet artificially sweetened so-called treat with a bitter aftertaste.

But enough; I said this was going to be a short entry, and so it shall be. I need to go out and walk before it gets hot again.

Enjoy Rockpile.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BABAJEAN 8/5/2013 12:38PM

    I now wear a scented eye mask to bed or on the really long bright days the light wakes me at 4 AM - at least the days are getting a little longer now - and Yes - July by me has been a bear - never had one like it - I love the way you described it

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QUEENOTHEFOREST 7/24/2013 9:36PM

    blankets tonight yay


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DDOORN 7/24/2013 1:08PM

    We're enjoying a nice cool spell here, might not even break into the 70s...wow!

Sending it up and out your way! :-)

Don

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CDCSMITH2013 7/23/2013 1:17PM

    I don't do well with too much light and heat either.

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DOGLADY13 7/23/2013 12:58AM

    emoticon

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LALMEIDA 7/22/2013 10:56PM

  emoticon emoticon

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TEMPEST272002 7/22/2013 6:01PM

    I think I understand that feeling you describe. In the past, I've used bingeing as a way to "lower the volume" on life. Good to identify what can hold you back - and then find ways around them.

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MS.ELENI 7/22/2013 4:45PM

    I think the heat gets to everyone. emoticon

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Can You Dig It

Monday, July 15, 2013

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOXTnsTzs1k

Man oh man, the heat continues. We had a few days of a reprieve and now we're back to it. In between there, I ran my - no lie - 44th 5K.

It was NOT a pretty sight. It wasn't sunny and it was actually not too super-hot but man oh man it was humid. It was like moving through a wet rag. And of course speed suffers from such things. Ah, well. I don't run 'em to qualify for the Olympics or anything, yanno.

In the meantime, I am more actively looking for work. Today I had my third phone screen and - eek - I am afraid that, this time, I blew it. I was late, and that is never a good sign. It is hard to recover from that, and it was my own stupid fault. At least I admitted it, but I feel dopey. It just feels like it was going along all right and then I tripped over my own feet.

So, amidst the ugly sweaty humidity, I also feel like I screwed up royally. Feh.

Good news? I suppose there is some. I have been drowning my sorrows in water and not ice cream.

But this was, possibly, another form of self-sabotage. And that has got to stop.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLISCIOUS 7/17/2013 9:02PM

    That's a lotta 5Ks. Running in this heat is tuff...there must be something about it that we love, huh?

Fingers still crossed on the job hunt!

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QUEENOTHEFOREST 7/16/2013 9:13PM

    All those 5 Ks. How great! What an accomplishment, especially in a steam bath. Self sabotage eh? Sounds familiar.

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TEMPEST272002 7/16/2013 5:33PM

    Wow. 44 5ks. That is just awesome! I've just signed up for my 2nd race. Too bad about the job interview. Maybe not the best thing to do, but depending on the interview - and who else interviewed - might not be as bad as you think. We are all human. ;O)

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DDOORN 7/16/2013 6:31AM

    Sorry to hear about your "stumble", agreed nobody needs to get in their own way...!

Heat's been way "on" around here too...no A/C, long yucky nights of so-so sleep, yeesh!

Don


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PHEBESS 7/15/2013 8:32PM

    YAY to the run, despite the humidity - but sorry about the interview! It happens, and, well, hopefully you'll remember to not be late next time? Especially when you find the job you really want.

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LESS_IS_MO 7/15/2013 1:06PM

    Ugh. A 5K in THIS weather. You are awesome. I ran a 10K on hot pavement once and I tanked so badly that I vowed never to sign up for one between May 15 and Sept 30. That kind of makes my eligible list a bit short.

Hang tough in the job hunt. The right thing will come along when you least expect it. At 'our age' it ain't easy so you've gotta believe.
emoticon

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MS.ELENI 7/15/2013 12:42PM

    I have told you many times I think your running is awesome. The right job will come.
emoticon emoticon

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CDCSMITH2013 7/15/2013 12:36PM

    I hope the interview wasn't impacted negatively. Good for you for staying away from the ice cream. Not easy to do when it is a hundred gazzillion degrees and humid.

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BLUEANGELLK 7/15/2013 11:44AM

    I hate the humidity. We are expecting 90 degree temps and 70 degree dewpoint for the week. Glad I live in the Midwest!!

I am wishing you good luck on the interview. Sometimes you get "credit" for recovering from a flub. I hope that is the case for you!!

Keep cool and stay in the water not the ice cream.

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Man, It's a Hot One

Monday, July 08, 2013

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXp413NynFk

I think I posted this song fairly recently, but no matter. Consider it a reprise.

Man oh man it is HOT!

We had, what was it? Four? Five? Whatever - it has been a lotta over 90 days. Today, we are going up to the low 80s. Hey, it'll be awesome!

Eh, who am I kidding?

But at least it's almost 9:30 AM and currently the a/c is off. Let's see how long that lasts.

And one thing I have in my head is the memory of similar heat waves past, back into before 2008, which is when I started sparking and started losing.

And I was HOT! And I was hot a lot more often and for a lot longer than I am these days. Those were days that I would lurch from the bedroom a/c to the computer room a/c to the TV room a/c and I would sleep a lot during the day because I just felt so godawful and I had zero energy.

You may be asking yourself how I have been handling this current heatwave.

Or maybe you aren't, but I will gladly ask that question for you. ;)

I'm doing okay. I have escaped to napping a little bit; sometimes, it really has been that brutal. But it took a lot more for me to cry uncle and really get to that point. I also went out and walked, either super-early or super-late, all days but one. And I strength-trained every single morning, including this one.

Did I lose weight? Nope, I gained, albeit not that much. But I think more importantly is that I was able to get through this like a lot less of a slug. The weather has been horrific but it also has not turned into a built-in excuse to just throw in the towel.

So, victory may not be mine, but defeat isn't, either.

And I will take that, so long as it's wrapped in a ziploc bag with a ton of ice, thanks.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

QUEENOTHEFOREST 7/8/2013 10:45PM

    Great progress. Thanks for sharing it

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CAROLISCIOUS 7/8/2013 9:28PM

    emoticon

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DOGLADY13 7/8/2013 8:16PM

    It has been gross outside. I went for a run this morning - out the door at 6:30. It was brutal. Humid, humid, humid. I didn't go very fast at all. It was closer to a fast walk.

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MELLY3183 7/8/2013 12:39PM

    I would kill for some 90s weather right about now. This 110+ is killing my spirit, but still working. I'll take some rain with lower 100s. I'm glad you're able to handle the heat better though!! Plenty of water and cool foods should help too.

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MS.ELENI 7/8/2013 11:56AM

    My ac is on most of the time. It is almost always hot here but it is almost unbearable . Unless you are at beach which is why beaches are always full.

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CDCSMITH2013 7/8/2013 11:33AM

    5 here, but today is only supposed to reach 89, so it breaks the heatwave. Because that one degree makes all the difference.

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