JESPAH   180,674
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JESPAH's Recent Blog Entries

Grey Light

Monday, June 24, 2013

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpyDaI3I2Cg

I live so much of my life online that it's odd for things to be confined too much to the offline world. I am not the kind of person who tweets about every mouthful, every workout, every visit, every heartache, every triumph, ever breaking of wind. But I do find comfort in others online, and intelligence and simpatico that I often do not find locally.

And then when that avenue is shut off, or turns vague, it's difficult. But what can ya do?

So - imagine - a life without Spark - where your struggles are quiet or are closeted. And you wonder if anyone thinks or feels the way you do, and whether anyone understands.

Imagine and then remember that it is here. Things are far better than they were even ten years ago. You don't have to go running off to scheduled Weight Watcher's meetings - unless you want to. You don't need to loudly declare your dieting in order to get someone to take back your toast at the diner and bring it back dry this time because that's how you ordered it. You don't need to be the fat girl at the gym if you don't want to, and can work out at home, or slap on ear buds and go out walking with a thousand other people and nobody bats an eye.

Things are good now, they're better, and I bet they'll only become better as we go.

Can't wait for what the future holds.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCKY8GAL 6/29/2013 9:01PM

    I love all the support you get from SparkPeople. Great for us shy folks. emoticon

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DOGLADY13 6/27/2013 10:25PM

    I never, ever, ever would go to a WW meeting. Ugh. I am so grateful for SP.

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CAROLISCIOUS 6/26/2013 9:01PM

    emoticon

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MARCHMAIDME 6/26/2013 5:47AM

    Yup. I check in for these reasons and so as not to keep bugging my friends. ; )


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DDOORN 6/25/2013 10:46PM

    Yes, thank goodness for our SparkFamily!

It IS real cool though, when possible, to take the Spark offline and catch up with each other for *real*... :-)

Don

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PHEBESS 6/24/2013 9:25PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

So right! (I even hosted a virtual party on SP, LOL - it was fun!)

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QUEENOTHEFOREST 6/24/2013 7:09PM

    Good message as always.

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MS.ELENI 6/24/2013 12:34PM

    Things are much better and I would be very unhappy without my spark pals etc.

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JANET552 6/24/2013 10:44AM

    You list great reasons to be on-line. I sometimes think I spend too much time on the computer but I still get out and about so, who's to decide what is too much?!

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TEMPEST272002 6/24/2013 10:28AM

    Easy access to information and on-line support make all the difference, don't they? Sometimes I am nostalgic for the days before computers - I miss the slower pace. Most of the time, I'm still in awe of the internet and what it's brought to my life. I love that I have friends all over the world & that they care about me even if we've never met.

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If This is Paradise, I Wish I Had a Lawnmower

Monday, June 17, 2013

www.youtube.com/watch?v=068AFYvd58E

It is another massive allergy day, and it might end up being a big-time allergy week.

But I will go out anyway, and walk, and clear my head.

Well, sorta.

There will be pollen.

Lots and lots of pollen.

I think cardio should count more if you're sneezing. Who's with me?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SANDICANE 6/19/2013 10:57PM

    Me too! I count all that sneezing and blowing as cardio...don't you??????????

Cheers,
San
di

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SUSIEMT 6/19/2013 3:22PM

    Oh! My friend! If only it would count as cardio! LOL

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GAYLLYNNE 6/18/2013 7:02AM

    LOL - why not!!! Good luck with those allergies. I see friends suffering and I know how hard it is!

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CAROLISCIOUS 6/17/2013 9:20PM

    I agree!

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OLIVIANIGHT 6/17/2013 2:57PM

    Oh absolutely, all those ab contractions!

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DOGLADY13 6/17/2013 2:50PM

    This used to be real estate
Now it's only fields and streams
Where? Where has it gone?
Now, it's nothing but flowers.

I love that song. I love the Talking Heads.

We're getting thunderstorms tonight. That should help with the pollen.

I find that a spoonful of local honey does wonders to soothe my throat when the pollen gets the best of me.

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DDOORN 6/17/2013 2:48PM

    Agreed! Except for me it's dust mites and one never can predict when my allergies will rear their head despite my Allegra...lol!

Don

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PAQTEQ 6/17/2013 2:31PM

    If it was paradise, you wouldn't have allergies. :)

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MS.ELENI 6/17/2013 1:41PM

    If I could I would. emoticon emoticon

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BLUEANGELLK 6/17/2013 1:21PM

    I agree. I think if you can't breathe cardio should count double! I am right with you!


Maybe sneezing is sort of an ab crunch workout of sorts. We are going to have to look into this in more depth

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CDCSMITH2013 6/17/2013 1:02PM

    Especially sneezing fits that are 10+ at a time. That has to be a calorie burn of some sort. I've pulled mescles in a sneezing fit. They have to be worth something. ;)

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Everybody Seems to Wonder

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pesIGuV9DDk

For all of us who have done this, seemingly, forever, I got news for you.

You have to continue. There is no end point, no stopping point. There is no part where you say, "Okay, I'm done! I can go back to lazy days and lazy eating. I can head on over to the Cheesecake Factory every other day and I can stop working out and drinking the water and everything's gonna be GREAT!"

No.

It. Does. Not. Work. Like. That.

Every day, you wake up, you have a chance. And every day, you can decide.

Salad or cake?
Water or soda?
Walk or drive?
Weight training or watch TV?
Herbs or salt?
Homemade or processed?
Measured or estimated?
Home-cooked or dining out?

And we don't always pick the former, and that's actually okay. That's life and it happens and you're allowed to zig instead of zag at times. After all, a fully rigid life is frustrating and boring, and it can smell an awful lot like deprivation. And the more deprived you feel, the more you'll be willing to cheat and then, well, then that's where the real trouble starts.

But those zigs shouldn't overwhelm and overtake and bypss the zags. They should not turn into your life, with the healthy happenings becoming rare.

It needs to be the other way around, where the healthy happenings are the norm, and the mess-ups and the doings of something naughty are rare.

Wouldn't it be interesting, if we turned it all on its head?

What would happen if we couldn't wait to stop doing those naughty things?

Sheesh, another dinner out? I can't wait to get back to my home cooking!
More salt? I can't wait to get back to cilantro!
Soda again? Cripes, I can't wait to get back to drinking water!
TV? Yawn. I really want to get back to weight training!

We talk about making good choices and creating good habits. Let's not sabotage that with thoughts that there is an end point, and a finish line, other than the absolute end of our days.

This is for good.

This is for life.

This is for a good life.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SANDICANE 6/19/2013 11:00PM

    This is a great blog! Yep, I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooo happy to choose the former! I love water! I love to cook! I love to make healthy, on-plan choices!

It HAS to be forever b/c I don't have another 50 lb weight loss in me....

Cheers,
Sandi

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DDOORN 6/17/2013 10:21AM

    Amen! Thank you for your eloquent exclamation mark to this point! :-)

Don

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UNICORN212 6/12/2013 12:37AM

    Great blog. I had a can of Pepsi the other day - it had been sitting in our fridge for the longest time. It was actually just past the expiration date. So, to put it out of its misery, rather than throw it out, I drank it. It was my first one in a long, long time. And I probably will not bother with another one. Back to water and unsweetened tea....

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SHAPESHIFTER09 6/12/2013 12:22AM

    This is fantastic (well, aside from the cilantro part ;))

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TEMPEST272002 6/11/2013 11:35PM

    Absolutely!!!! Say it like it is!



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DMPRIDER 6/11/2013 11:00PM

    You are so right that it's about all the little choices. I beg to differ though on strength training vs. watching TV. I like to strength train at the gym, but if I'm working out at home for some reason, I sometimes do my strength training with the TV on. There's no rule that TV time must be spent sitting on the couch! LOL

I find that the more I eat healthy and home made the more often restaurant food just tastes way too salty to me. And I far prefer water over soda. Some other choices are much harder though. It's lifelong choices and habits, that's for sure!

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PHEBESS 6/11/2013 10:42PM

    As a friend said, this is a marathon, not a sprint.

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LUCKY8GAL 6/11/2013 9:37PM

    Great Blog! I hear ya emoticon

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CAROLISCIOUS 6/11/2013 8:43PM

    Yano...I do feel that way...excited to get back to it after a break. '

Great blog!

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QUAIL75 6/11/2013 2:29PM

    Thanks! I needed this today!

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MS.ELENI 6/11/2013 11:51AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BLUEANGELLK 6/11/2013 11:25AM

    Thanks. I really needed to hear this. It is all about the little choices we make moment by moment, not necessarily about the momentous proclamations we make.

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Speak to Me

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6B25LcgAuE

Oops, I'm a day late with the blog. Ah, well. In repentance, I offer you Natalie Merchant, and a song that isn't played enough.

So - what's new in the world o' jes? Little versus last week. Life was very weather-driven, as it suddenly got hot and so outdoor activities were curtailed and modified. And I was reminded, once again, of how things have changed. It used to be that a couple of 90 degree days would wipe me out so thoroughly that all I could do was nap. I would move from kitchen to bathroom to bedroom (and the only one of those three rooms with air conditioning was the bedroom), like a zombie. Even with air conditioning in the computer room, I would inevitably find myself heavy-lidded and zonked out by 2.

And as for any sort of exercise, well, I wasn't doing that anyway. The heat was simply yet another excuse.

Things are different now.

It's funny.

I have regained about 80 pounds, no lie. Maintenance is incredibly, unbelievably hard. And lest you think I am near what I was when I started, the truth is, I am not - am still 100 pounds off that. Yeah, I was that huge.

But even with a wicked regain, my life is still transformed. Even hot weather doesn't completely stop everything, and grind life to a completely screeching halt. Even that is not enough to stop me.

Do I want to be lighter again? I would like for things to be easier - I won't deny that. But I am happy to be active, and to be doing more than I had been.

Don't let anyone tell you that maintenance is a picnic. It is anything but that.

But.

I want to face it, and its challenges, clear-eyed and without fear, and to continue to do so. No matter where it takes me. Speak to me, and tell me of your tales of it, too, and we will face it clear-eyed.

And fearlessly.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DDOORN 6/7/2013 11:03AM

    Maintenance is an incredible challenge...absolutely SO with you in your struggles!

During my time with our SparkFamily I managed to get to my all-time adult low of 200 a few years back. Since then I've crept up to 255 earlier this year in January. Some might say 55 pounds is *CREEPING*?!? But yes, for me that is what it has felt like. I've been clawing my way back down the scale and am 240 now. Cycling season has me ACUTELY aware of my extra baggage...the hills, oh the HILLS!

But I'm not bailing on me, on you, on our SparkFamily! If we're gonna live then let's LIVE!

Viva la SPARK! :-)

Don

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QUEENOTHEFOREST 6/6/2013 10:18PM

    Wow that 80 came back so fast! A powerful message. i remember when you were at your lowest and your fabulous photos. I think it is brave of you to face up to your gain and to tell us about the struggle to maintain. I have a long way to go to get to maintenance. I guess this is not something that we can achieve and then call it a day. This was a very important message for me to hear. Thank you.

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TEMPEST272002 6/5/2013 3:43PM

    Alright, I'll do it. I'll be clear-eyed with you. I was once size 26/28, then I got down to size 8 & now I'm a 14/16. Like you, I truly appreciate how "able" I am at this weight... and also feel frustration at myself for having regained so much weight... and still feel hopeful that I can learn how to maintain a healthy lifestyle. My current goals include: pushing myself to get up and break a sweat every single freaking day & to be real with myself when I'm deciding what to eat. We already know that every good choice counts & so does everyone poor one. The trick, I think, is to consistently make more healthy choices than unhealthy ones.

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DOGLADY13 6/4/2013 9:27PM

    I have never met goal weight. Alas. However I have never regained to the point that I am back at 200. Right now I am losing the 10 pounds I gained over the winter with regular, hard exercise and tracking food. It's hard and it's a lifetime journey. We'll get there, all of us, together. We will get there.

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MS.ELENI 6/4/2013 10:45AM

    I have heard many people say that mantenance was harder than losing the weight. I am sure you will lose weight again. emoticon

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PHEBESS 6/4/2013 10:38AM

    I can SO relate - I'm probably about 10 (maybe 15?) lbs more than my lowest post-Spark - and I truly should lose another 40-50 beyond that. But I can't seem to get below a certain point, and it's so easy to say oh hey it's a plateau, I can't do anything about it, that cookie won't matter anyway.

I'm hoping our travelling will help - I do a lot more walking when in new places (without a car), and I eat what I want when I want, so I actually eat less. I think.

Jeans still fit about the same, though.

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WADINGMOOSE 6/4/2013 10:03AM

    Love your post. I'm stuck in a rut of losing and regaining the same 5-10 pounds right now and it's a little frustrating. For some reason I start making great progress and then I sabotage myself. I think I need to step away from the scale and just focus on how great I feel when I eat right and exercise. The scale isn't my friend :)

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IFDEEVARUNS2 6/4/2013 9:58AM

    emoticon Love the attitude! I can SO relate.

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There's Only One

Monday, May 27, 2013



www.youtube.com/watch?v=XScq7NLRnYU

I have run a bunch of 5K races, but this one was for just one mile.

And it was more important than all of them, combined, for it was the final mile of the Boston Marathon.

My husband and I walked and jogged and did not go too fast as his back was bothering him.

But that's okay. This was not for speed. It was not for PRs. It was not for personal glory.

We participated for those who no longer have legs, and for those whose futures are gone. We did this for the scared, to show that we aren't. We did it for our city, and for our country, and for anyone who's tired of the violence and hate in the world.

I have already told the sponsors that I hope they will do this again, for it was an amazing experience. There is a turn, just before Boylston Street, near the Hynes Convention Center. You have just gone up a small hill. And you turn. And you see them. And you hear them.

The people.

They line the blocks, and they are LOUD. And they are watching, and they are cheering. There were signs. There were high fives from strangers. And the press was there, for people who had been hurt 40 days before, or who had been running and wanted to finally finish. We are not marathoners. We were not that part of the news story.

We were there to be a part of it. And it was one day when this 50 year old who will never run a marathon (trust me, I am FAR too slow) could feel like a rock star.

That day will live on. It was our 21st wedding anniversary, by the way. And that is how we spent it.

And that day will live on.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLISCIOUS 5/27/2013 10:56PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Thanks for being there!

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DDOORN 5/27/2013 8:43PM

    Such an absolutely WONDERFUL way to honor yourselves and your city...! Very, very cool.

Don

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DDOORN 5/27/2013 8:43PM

    Such an absolutely WONDERFUL way to honor yourselves and your city...! Very, very cool.

Don

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DOGLADY13 5/27/2013 7:59PM

    Thank you for sharing your experience. Dan and I wouldn't go to something like that; we don't go for crowds of people, but I love hearing about them. I'm glad you were there to represent. I'm glad you wrote it down for all of us to share.

And congratulations on your wedding anniversary! Happy Day!

emoticon

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CODYG123 5/27/2013 7:03PM

    thanks for sharing! emoticon

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PICKIE98 5/27/2013 2:48PM

    You are so cool, you're hot!

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MS.ELENI 5/27/2013 12:39PM

    What an awesome way to spend your 21st anniversary. Wonderful tribute
by the way our 21st is July 4th.

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NUMD97 5/27/2013 12:20PM

    It's an incredible message to the world: The US will not bow to these madmen. And these simple pleasures will continue.

Thanks for posting a very powerful blog.

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BLUEANGELLK 5/27/2013 12:19PM

    Wow. Must have been a powerful experience. Congratulations on taking part in this and on your anniversary.

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