Monday, December 24, 2012
I was thinking this could be an appropriate blog song, plus the quoted lyric is epic.
I know many are not reading. It is family time. It is celebration time. It is a time for letting go, a bit, as we begin to truly let go of the old year. And a lot of us end up letting go of our disciplines as well.
Let us, instead, let go of our anger. Let's kick resentment to the curb. Let's push slights and hurts and grudges away.
And let us leave ourselves with a far more positive essence within.
Perhaps, a case in pernt.
Mr. j and I were talking the other day. And we were describing what he eats for breakfast, versus what I eat. Now, there are days when he eats very healthfully indeed (oatmeal and the like). And there are days when his choices are, let's just say, less than optimal.
Yet he weighs less than me. And he is losing weight this way.
It angered me, truth be told. I wasn't angered at him (it's just his metabolism, after all). Rather, I was angry at the injustice of it all.
I had/have been good. I eat Cheerios and toast! Or I have a veggie omelet made with Pam! And that's just breakfast.
My lunches are usually better (in terms of health) than his are. My dinners are often the same, but when they vary, they are generally better.
I lift weights every damned day. He lifts much less often. He does walk more than I do, and he's faster. But apart from that, what gives?
And then I remembered. Or, rather, he reminded me.
* I am female.
* I am 50 years old.
* There is a history of all sorts of obesity, mainly on my mother's side but also for most of the women on my father's side as well.
* I have only been doing this for just under 5 years, and not over 45, like he has.
* And I am starting from far heavier, even now, and was starting for WAY heavier 5 years ago.
And so I remembered - life isn't fair, but there are still some reasons for the unevenness.
And I also remembered.
* I do the best to take care of myself.
* I walk even though I get discouraged.
* I race even though I am usually last.
* A lack of results is no excuse for screwing up and REALLY having a reason for no results.
Allow me to repeat that little tidbit.
A lack of results is no excuse for screwing up and REALLY having a reason for no results.
I swear, I should tattoo that on my forehead in mirror script.
And yanno what happened last week?
I ate my good breakfasts, and lunches, and dinners. I lifted. I walked. I even took a rare rest day.
And I lost over 7 pounds.
Now, at this stage of things, 7 pounds is generally a good 5 of water and salt. But I will take it gladly, and I will remind myself of what seems to be a universal truth, now and in all seasons -
Life ain't fair. But keep plugging anyway. And don't kick yourself for being imperfect. You are no angel, in your behaviors or your choices or your results.
So instead, you get to settle for being human.
And that's kinda cool.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Couldn't let the end of the world go by without a quick blog entry.
Enjoy Graham Parker.
Monday, December 17, 2012
I gotta apologize for the link, but it's the only recording I can find of that song. But I hate all the talking. Sheesh. Shaddap!! Ahem. Onto the actual blog.
I ran my last 5K of the year yesterday.
It was m'f'in' COLD!
The gun time was my worst time of the year (and my third-worst time, ever; my second-worst time was last year's December run, BTW). But the chip time was far better (a good 4 1/2 minutes less!). And in all fairness, I was wearing many layers, and I was the second-heaviest I've ever been for a race this year. Which is also the second-heaviest I've ever been for any of these races, ever.
This was my 36th race, and my 11th of this year.
I'm a lil tired. But I suppose I'm entitled to be. 11 races felt very much like one too many by the end of it all. I had overbooked as, last year, we had to really scramble to get in our 10th. So we'll see how next year goes. We have already signed up for one in May. We might mix things up slightly, and run for different charities than we did. One of the races this year had an awful parking situation, so we might swap it out for something else. I dunno.
I will also stop taking the food they give us. That was a poor idea. I found myself ravenous and devouring yesterday, and I am paying for it today at weigh-in, big time. Some of it is salt, but I ain't kiddin' myself. I am up 6 (no typo, folks) pounds since last week. Ugly. Aggravating, but not impossible to cure.
So there are downsides to all this racing.
But the positives far outweigh the negatives. I find that racing focuses my work outs in a way that just keeping track of #s never really has. I find I am not necessarily trying for better times but, rather, I try for just doing them. I strive to not feel quite so awful at the end, or the following day. I strive for breaking into a dead run earlier than usual. I strive for jogging when I am supposed to (yesterday, I jogged more than I had been planning to, so I consider that a positive). I ran a good 477 minutes and 12 seconds of 5K races this year.
I came in 5495/5537 overall (I suspect there were far more walkers than that, but that's what they recorded officially, at www.coolrunning.com/results/12/ma/De
c16_Marath_set1.shtml ) and 164/172 for women in our 50s.
And I came in ahead of the rest of the world, yes?
I am the Thundering Fat Girl.
I am the Queen of the Tribe of Last-Place and Near-Last-Place Finishers.
I am the One Who Thumbs Her Nose At Notions of Fitness and Rightness and Propriety.
I am laughing at aging, and making fun of my size 16 body.
I am a warrior.
And I can't wait for March, when the racing season starts up again.
WHO'S WITH ME??!!
Monday, December 10, 2012
I think it's really, really easy, to just hang it all up this time of year.
It's dark. There are parties. Your routine is interrupted. People are shoving food at you. It's the holidays! The treats are limited edition. Emotions are amped up. Family is everywhere. Stress levels are through the roof.
It's just a piece of pie.
It's just a cocktail.
It's just a big ole holiday turkey.
It's just eggnog.
It's just potato latkes.
It's just a candy cane.
It's just sufganiyot. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sufganiyah
It's just Christmas cookies.
It's just Chanukah gelt.
It's just it's just it's just it's just.
Ai yi yi, what are ya doin' to yourself??!?!?!?
No wonder January is a prime time for starting diets. It's not just that it's the start of a brand-new, fresh year. It's not just that it's the start of a quarter. It's that you're safely past the big ole skeery holidays.
Well, I got news for ya.
That Chanukah gelt?
They'll sell it next year. It's not even that tasty (it's kinda cheap milk chocolate).
You had it at Thanksgiving. And you can have it again in a week or a month. See, they sell turkey all year long. Shocking, eh?
Those potato latkes?
You can make 'em healthier by draining the hell out of 'em.
They're doughnuts! You can get something rather similar to 'em at Dunkin or Tim Horton's or Honey Dew or wherever ALL YEAR LONG.
This is not the be-all, end-all. You are not putting on layers of fat for the winter (don't you own any sweaters? Cripes, this time of year, doesn't everybody wear their really ugly Bill Cosby-inspired ones anyway?). You are not coming to the very end, where you are never, ever, ever, ever, ever going to have eggnog again.
Now, I love most of the aforementioned stuff. And I can get caught up in the lie that it is oh so special.
But yanno what is?
Being together is.
This year, my folks are coming. And then in early January, I am going to them twice (my husband is coming with me the second time), as my mother is turning 80. I will see cousins I have not seen in quite a while (although I do see them on Facebook every day).
This is what is special. This interacting. These hugs. These smiles. These images, whether recorded by our cameras or our memories or both. THAT is what is special.
The rest of it is calories.
Monday, December 03, 2012
As much as I blather on about empowerment, the truth is, I am in the thick of low empowerment. And this comes from looking for work.
This is not my first rodeo, kids. Hell, it's not even the first time I've looked for employment since I starting SP, nearly 5 (yes) years ago. It is my ... drum roll ... third.
Egad, that's a lousy track record.
So I am casting about for some ideas as to how to minimize this time out/help to lay-off-proof the rest of my career. And I keep coming up with Web Design and Development. Now, God knows I am no visual artist. I really do stink at such things. And I have little patience for things like moving something over a tiny fraction of a millimeter. Pixels? Fuggeddaboutit!
But I have been doing SEO (Search Engine Optimization) work for quite a while, and I am thinking it's time I actually learned some theory from people who knew WTF they were talking about. I also know HTML, but I don't know it that well. Again, it would be good to learn it from masters, and to correct any bad habits I may have gotten myself into. Furthermore, of course, this is a skill set that is still wildly in demand.
Also, for every long-term unemployment stint I've ever been in, I have always gotten out of it through some form of education. It has happened enough times that I am thinking it's not so much of a coincidence any more.
As for weight loss, efforts have stalled. Things aren't bad, but they aren't great, either. Things could certainly be improved. What kills me is - and Mr. j and I were discussing this yesterday - is I have already plucked the low-hanging and middle-hanging fruit when it comes to weight loss.
Eight 8 ounce glasses/day? Try eleven.
Lift 10 pound weights? No, I lift 40. Every day.
Walk 30 minutes per day, three times per week? I walk 50 most days.
2000 calories? Try 1600 - 1800.
Low carb? Yes, and so much so that it threatens to give me a vasovagal response (that's fancy talk for me getting dizzy, a condition I have had for years. I am not anemic or anything like that; I'm just prone to fainting).
I have been on thyroid meds for decades, and my dosage level is closely monitored.
I know one thing I could do would be to become more careful again with weighing and measuring. But after that, truly, I'm not really seeing anything to do that I am willing to commit to. Calorie cycling? No, no, a thousand times, NO. Real people do not live like that, and the last thing I need is to be obsessing over food like that.
Truth of it is, I am not asking for advice in that area. Right now, I'm just venting.
I need some more empowerment in my life.
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