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Voice Too Loud

Monday, November 26, 2012

I don't have an enormous amount of time to post today as I am, as they say, an hour late getting up. So now I'm chasing that hour all day long.

Except it's about two hours. Ewps.

Hey, I was dreaming that I was pals with Johnny Depp! It was an IMPORTANT dream.

Anyway, it was nothing untoward. We were just pals, going to some dinner that required a lot of stair-climbing. He was also impressed with my weight loss. ;) Wacky.

Anyway - reality time - the year is rapidly drawing to a slamming close. The air is different. It is wintry, yes, but things are itchy and dark and ... off. I've gotten, no lie, a good five phone calls today. Exactly one was job-related. Everything else was various weirdnesses. And, like I wrote above, I don't have the time. But I listen just the same, as I am told of the latest family hullabaloo, or about a proxy vote for some security that I forgot I owned, and I only own maybe 20 shares. Or the hang-up calls, always a personal fave. Whatevs.

In the meantime, it gets rough, yanno? I am getting to a time of year that I truly dislike. I do not celebrate Xmas and Chanukah, though lovely, was not a really big deal when I was a kid. The end of the year is filled with medical appointments that I'm getting in before the calendar closes, and oil burner service and a haircut and one last 5K.

And through it all, I am chasing that hour. Good thing I can run these days.

Enjoy The Who.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Yeah. The dark days are tough. We don't celebrate either. Sometimes I wish I had a tradition and a family. Other times I am relieved. Don't want to wish my life away waiting for the return of the light. Or wish away the hour either.

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PHEBESS 11/27/2012 6:47PM

    OMG, don't you love dreams like that???? I'd waste an hour on Johnny Depp too!

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DDOORN 11/27/2012 1:13PM

    Ditto, re: this time of year being "rough." Am so "with" you in that department! I survived Black Friday, er...Buy Nothing Day. Now if we could just kill off the whole commercialism of this time of year...?!? Never was one who enjoyed queuing up with the masses...


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BESEVEN 11/26/2012 11:32PM

    Maybe it's the season. . .or the moon. . .or something. . .but the other night I had a dream I was hanging with George Clooney. So vivid. Sometimes you just really hate to wake up more than others.

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SEXBOBOMB 11/26/2012 6:55PM

    Funny, that, about Depp!

(Personally, I spent most of Saturday night hanging out in a hotel room with Daniel Craig. Waking up was such a drag!)

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MS.ELENI 11/26/2012 6:43PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PICKIE98 11/26/2012 4:38PM

    Some people have their priorities all out of whack!!
Let me get this straight: You are in a dream with John Depp, got him all to yourself in that dream, and your big disappointment for the day is a lost hour??? I will bet in that lost hour you did a lot of "stair-climbing"!!!!!!!!
I will give you that hour or two, if you dream it again tonight, let the thoughts flow right onto the blog page to share!! Now THAT is a block of time I will help you with,, Answer your phone, make your appointments,etc. i will even go to your family Chanakuh celebration to steer them clear of you if you want!!LOL!
We all know how those get-togethers are warm and fuzzy,, Norman Rockwell if you will...

Share Johnny with us!!

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DOLPHINSINGER72 11/26/2012 3:25PM

    Have a good day. I hope you catch up.

I love your background. That is a really cute dog. :)

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I'm On That Midnight Beat

Monday, November 19, 2012

I guess I kinda have to be. This is a short week. And of course that means cramming in as much as possible during the shortened time frame. Relax? What's that?!?! You silly people.

For someone who isn't working, I actually work pretty dang hard these days.

Part of it is actual work. I do some SEO work for a friend. I also spend time looking for work. I write. I blog (not the same thing - writing for me means fiction; blogging means commercial type stuff). I promote stuff, both my own and for more than one website. I have family stuff like everyone else does. Housework? Eh, when the mood strikes (which is rare) or things are dire and someone is coming over (now you're talkin').

And of course there's the myriad of diet-y, exercise-y things going on.

I am getting rather close to 5 years of doing this. Oy vey and lord a-mighty, that's an awfully long time. It is ... drumroll ... 1/10 of my life.

Ye gods.

I have been doing this long than I was in college. Longer than I was practicing law. Longer than I worked most jobs, I might add (no wonder I always seem to be looking for work).

It's a long, long time.

One thing that happened recently was that I transferred over my iTunes account from one computer to the other. And, in the process, I lost my old playlists, including the one for running and the one with all of my blog songs. But yanno something? I am totally cool with it. Wanna know why? 'Cause it is hurtling rapidly toward 5 years of this. 5! The playlists were getting long and unwieldy. And it was the kind of retentive behavior that, truly, I need to not do so much of. So I am glad to see them go. I re-create what I like. Other stuff, not so much.

It's a clean slate. And that means other things can fill that vacuum.

In the meantime, I hope the start of the holiday crunch isn't too difficult for most. Take it easy and enjoy Van Morrison.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAINTBETH 11/26/2012 10:49AM

    5 years is a long time. It must be working! We can do this.

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GUITARWOMAN 11/22/2012 1:10PM

    You can never lose your purchased iTunes music.

Whatever was in your playlists is also in your library on iTunes.

And in the iTunes servers somewhere in cyberspace.

But, what the heck, new playlists are good too!

Happy Thanksgiving!

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DDOORN 11/22/2012 7:58AM

    Can't have too much Van Morrison...sure helps those five years fly by with a spring in one's step! Kudos to keepin' on, keepin' on Jes!

I just inherited my son's old iPhone 4 and am wading into the iTunes waters and playlists. My Sansa Clip has been so simple: just put good stuff on it, shuffle and GO!

Have a terrific Turkey Day! :-)


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WOLFKITTY 11/20/2012 10:20PM

    I've been thinking about my 5 years, too. Next January. It's amazing, but also seems a tiny bit unreal, so I'm obviously still getting used to it.

Actually, around the time that I first started here, I jokingly asked myself that cliched question, "So, where do I see myself in 5 years?" ;) Interesting to see the end of that, and yet the future stretching out before us. There really aren't very many real endings.

Have a good night!

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MS.ELENI 11/19/2012 12:14PM

    I thought it very interesting that you once practiced law. Learn more about you all the time. emoticon

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JOPAPGH 11/19/2012 10:46AM

    Bought this on vinyl when it first came out, but can't remember the last time I heard it. So much so that I didn't recognize your lyric reference, which is rare.

Congrats on 5 years of Sparking!! I took a break because Spark wasn't cutting it for me but I have dipped my toe back in and I'm starting to feel it again, but in a clean slate, simplified way. (To quote Drew Carey from "Whose Line is it Anyway": "The points are meaningless, like a Democrat in Texas.")

Enjoy your fresh start. Viva la Tabla Rasa!

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MAMISHELI53 11/19/2012 9:28AM

    You did a great job, girl! Maz'l tov! BTW, my daughter has two Bostons, one they bought, and one they adopted ( rescue). They are a stitch! i made a video of them, maybe you'll get a kick out of it - here's the link.

Keep up the great work! Que Dios te bendiga! (God bless you!)

Comment edited on: 11/19/2012 9:31:41 AM

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Not to Put Too Fine a Point on It

Monday, November 12, 2012

My personal life has been quiet lately, and I gotta say I'm grateful for that, as the outside world, between the hurricane and the election, has more than made up for that.

And now I'm ready for, hopefully, something else to happen.


The job search continues, but it is slow again. And that was before the election, so don't say it was due to the election's outcome. Instead, it just seems that things are slowing down. AGAIN.

Very annoying.

Also annoying to know that I went through 5 interviews last month and only 2 are still viable. And I have serious doubts about one of 'em. I am sure the figure is really 1 - I just haven't seen that absolute, final nail rammed into that coffin.


Onto sports.

Or, rather, the weight loss world.

In this area, there isn't a helluva lot to report, either. I continue to trade around the same five or so pounds. I continue to walk and lift weights (er, not at the same time). I shoveled snow last week. And so it goes.

And -- things are kinda dull.

But in a way that's good. For while it may feel routine, the truth of the matter is, life is routine because this IS my life. Daily walk? Check. Healthy food? Check. More water drinking than I'd prefer? Check that, too.

It's true, you lose enthusiasm. And that can lead you to backslide right into ugly, old behaviors. It's boring!

But the boring part, isn't that kinda what we're striving for, anyway? For things to feel normal? For when they feel normal, I think we feel less tempted by other stuff. I mean, why be tempted by uncomfortable things? And unhealthy behaviors, I've found, are pretty damned uncomfortable in the long run.

Have I convinced you yet? I sure hope so.

Now I gotta go convince myself. ;)

While walking. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WOLFKITTY 11/20/2012 10:13PM

    I confess that I came here first even though I was replying to your goodie because I love this song. ;)

Hugs! I like the tedium. It's comforting. It makes me think twice before driving through a fast food place - - It makes me notice how extra salty take out food is. It makes me miss exercise if I'm sidelined for some reason.

Yay for that kind of tedium. I'll take it over the headaches, lethargy, and back pain, oh and boredom from eating the same gross-y junk food.


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    OMG "The same old ugly behaviors." They are boring. That is for sure.

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DDOORN 11/12/2012 8:31PM

    The new normal...such a quiet challenge, isn't it? No bells & whistles, no fanfare, just plugging away and locking things down so that they are automatic.

Cheers to that and enjoying "quiet times"...gotta recharge so that we're ready for "interesting times"...! :-)


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PHEBESS 11/12/2012 4:16PM

    Routines keep us from backsliding - because the new routine becomes the new norm.

And job hunting slows down during holiday season - it's that last quarter of the year, businesses focus on accounting and partying, and then start a new fiscal year in January - should improve then. Not easy, I know, but true.

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MS.ELENI 11/12/2012 1:51PM

    emoticon emoticon

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JOPAPGH 11/12/2012 11:57AM

    Here's to the new normal, boring and all. Saw TMBG just a few years ago with my son, who is a rabid fan. Good time.

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SEXBOBOMB 11/12/2012 11:42AM

    I'm a TMBG fan as well -- less so of their current stuff, more of their older stuff.

Do you know about this?

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CHEETARA79 11/12/2012 11:38AM

    That song really brings me back. I was obsessed with that album when it came out. I saw TMBG live at WPI back in the late 90s!

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I'm not a Coward, I've just Never Been Tested

Monday, November 05, 2012

Again, this is a song that I picked up long before Hurricane Sandy. There are quite a few images of devastation from my home town and surrounding environs. And it really is awful to see. My folks, who still live in the area, fled after a few days of no power. According to a neighbor, there is now power on an adjacent street. Hence when they return on Tuesday to vote, I think we can assume the electrons will be lassoed and corralled and back to doing what they were supposed to have been doing all along.

But through it all, considering even this, the truth is, the blog title still stands.

What awful things have happened to me? I lost my grandparents when I was pretty young - I never knew my father's father at all. I have lost jobs, and I have held work that I hated. Other relatives are gone; I am utterly uncle-free now. Friends have been through divorces, and have lost their parents. I have been through some weather muck of my own.

But in much of it, it seems, I am the detached observer. My parents are still here. My house is still standing. My credit is not torn to shreds. My marriage is strong and vibrant.

I am not asking for calamities to now fall on my head. Don't misunderstand me. But I am trying in some small way to gain and nurture perspective.

The other day, amidst all of the FB status updates about Sandy and getting power back and helping others, or not having power, or waiting in gas lines, or concern for others, or about the election, there was one Facebook status update that stood out like a sore thumb.

It was someone whining about gaining a few pounds.

I about leapt out of my seat.


Now, for this person, perhaps that was the end of the world. But really!

Slow down. Take a deep breath. Look around you.

A boatload (heh, pun partly intended) of people are now homeless. Schools are still closed. Infrastructure needs to be repaired.

There's an election going on. There is a lot of unemployment. Cancer and HIV still ain't cured.

Let's go global. Ever see pictures of an Indian slum? How 'bout pollution in Bulgaria? Animals that we call pets other people often call food. There's a lot out there, and a lot of it isn't sunshine and roses.

But through it all - the focus was on - what?!!??! - a few pounds gained.

Hey, you had pounds to gain.

The world is not just a black cloud. There is plenty of goodness. There are reams of wonder. There are wild horses, and there are people falling in love. There are folks who are fighting for change. There are scientists working for cures, and doctors delivering babies. There are ancient folk imparting their wisdom and there are engineers designing better tools for our lives. There are kids helping little old ladies across the street, and there are families adopting puppies and kittens. There are stars and there are chrysanthemums. There are books to read, and there's art to appreciate, or even to critique.

Pounds will come, and pounds will go. Step back and have some perspective and chill the F out when it comes to only a few of 'em. I am not saying to let yourself go.

What I am saying is - give yourself a break, and give the world a break. Hell, ya both need it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Funny that. On my FB page there appeared the usual Spark updates..."hit like if you did 10 minutes of fitness"...sort of stuff. In the midst of all kinds of chaos being posted by pals. I usually like it. And I like it here. But Spark posts felt out of place during Sandy. It ought to be a relief to keep the focus on something I am woking to control. It isn't though.

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PICKIE98 11/6/2012 3:12PM

    I am embarrassed for that person, to be so shallow and narcissistic! I hav eno aunts, no uncles, no dad, no grandparents, a handful of cousins and a mom and two sisters.
I am grateful I had some of those lost for a while in my life,, I just replaced two toilets!! I did not grumble, because I HAVE TWO TOILETS, TWO BATHROOMS... they are enclosed inside walls, not flooded or without power.. I was able to pay for them, able to work to get the $$ to pay.. etc, ad nauseum..

I gained too: a new perspective on what is really important in life..

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TEMPEST272002 11/5/2012 2:50PM

    Perspective really is key. And you're absolutely right - a few pounds gained is not a calamity.

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NEED2MOVE2 11/5/2012 1:19PM


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MS.ELENI 11/5/2012 12:20PM

    Well Said !!!!!!!! emoticon

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GUITARWOMAN 11/5/2012 12:19PM

    You know, I believe that those of us who go through life and do the best we can with what we've got are being tested every day.

Don't sell yourself short.

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QUAIL75 11/5/2012 12:10PM

    I completely agree! You have to keep things in perspective and count your blessings!

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DDOORN 11/5/2012 11:58AM

    Great thoughts Jes, a little perspective goes a long way toward keeping one's sanity, eh? :-)


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They Will Possess You Unless You Change that Number on Your Dial

Monday, October 29, 2012

When I originally grabbed a song for this blog entry, there wasn't a huge, honkin' storm comin' up the East Coast. Hence now it's almost comical, as fake horror is replaced with some real fear.

We are fine here, yes. Sandy is just a bunch of light rain and winds right now. The windows only rattle a little. It's not much, so far. Of course that may change. Local critters have all departed. They are undoubtedly far smarter than we are.

Fitness, right now, is a bit dicey. Go out and into the muck? Try the exercise bike which I hate? Run up and down the steps a few times? Helfino. I did lift weights this morning, but I do that every morning. I am a tad stir-crazy already. Eek, this'll be interesting if it keeps up.

The other thing is, of course, food. What to do, what to do, if the power goes out? Once night falls, there are few entertainment options.

Of course this is why a bunch of babies are often born 9 months after big power outage storms. Erm, no thanks.

Truth be told, my biggest concern is family. Me? Eh, I'll be fine. This is not my first rodeo. But others live to the South and I do fret about them a bit.

In other news, the five job interviews I have been through this month are now down to one, possibly two, that remain viable. And that's it.

Am I a bad interview? Is that it? I have gotten many jobs before; again, not my first rodeo. But I get the euphemistic, "They're going in a different direction." Er, whatevs.

The chaos of the weather seems to reflect the relative chaos of my life. Or, at least, of my working life. I await FEMA, to sweep up the detritus of my career and restore it.

Le sigh.

In the meantime, stay safe and look out for old women flying by on broomsticks. This is why I took ours in yesterday. I don't want a broom-jacking.

Enjoy Michael Jackson.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DDOORN 10/30/2012 9:35AM

    Our son is in Baltimore...looks like he rode it out least so far!

We worried about high winds, power outages, tree branches...but so far very ho hum.

Hoping for smooth sailing out your way!


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PHEBESS 10/29/2012 4:52PM

    It's a monster storm - as long as people don't do crazy things like go out and kayak they should be safe. (Can you believe some people did that??????)

And interviews - it's like dating, it takes forever to find the right one. Really.

Good luck to you in both the storm and the job hunt!

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PLMITCH 10/29/2012 1:45PM

    I cranked up the Wii for the first time in AGES! It was fun and a nice change of pace.

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MS.ELENI 10/29/2012 12:21PM

    We are lucky it by-passed us but Sandy is a dangerous storm

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MYBABYGIRLS 10/29/2012 12:05PM

    stretches, yoga, anything you can do inside if the power goes out, just to stay out of the food! Light a candle and read or play board games... (I've been there, too!). emoticon

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