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JESPAH's Recent Blog Entries

The Things You Think Are Useless, I Don't Understand

Monday, October 22, 2012

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bwHK1xkgJA

It has been an incredibly competitive few weeks, and it's not over yet. One more to go, perhaps more, but ... er - wtf are you talkin' 'bout, jes? I hear you cry.

Er, sorry. I'll start again.

While doing the weight loss dance, I am also, yet again, looking for work. It colors my days, no matter how successful it is. It's tiring. I swear I should get cardio points for it.

And this month, in particular, has been busy. I have had four in-person interviews so far, with a fifth one scheduled for the day after tomorrow. And so - here goes -

The first one, on 10/3, was with L. I have worked at L before, and the commute is excellent although it has other things that are not so recommended. Be that as it may, they decided to pass on me but they also hauled my resume over to another department. I am not holding my breath on department #2 calling but hey, we'll see. Keep in mind that I kind of have a dual track going - social media and data analysis. The truth is, I want to do social media. But I can make a living doing data analysis, even though it generally bores me to tears. This one was for data analysis so I am not exactly sorry to see it go.

The second was on 10/11, and was with B1. Lovely people and it's in social media! Except the commute stinks on ice. I am still waiting to hear about that one.

The third was on 10/19, at B2 (sorry for the confusion; I don't name companies). Lovely people, kick-bun commute. But - le sigh - it's in data analysis. Feh.

The fourth was this morning, at C. Great commute, and it's in kind of a marketing/social media hybrid thingie but mostly marketing. This was one of those jobs that I applied to because I like to do something every work day. But the truth was, when I sent that one out, all I could think of was - you're out of your depth. And I ended up psyching myself up this morning before going in - they wouldn't bring you in unless they thought you could do this.

Well, no, that's exactly what they did. I get the feeling that the HR Department wrote the job description and did the initial screening 'cause there I was, babbling on about social media (which is all over the job description) and the interview said, "Well, we don't do too much of that." Oh. Then I was asked to comment on their website. And I mentioned that a particular blog wasn't up to date (although I thought the idea of a blog was a rather good one). And the interviewer said, "We don't have any blogs." Well, all righty, then!

I came home, and I checked. While there was no place to put comments, the entries were dated and had social voting buttons. Hence, I stand by my assessment. It may not be a blog in the strictest sense, but that is a freakin' blog.

I still think I blew that one.

The fifth one, on Wednesday, will be another lousy commute for a social media role. Sigh. We'll see.

Everything has a problem, yes. But at least there is interest.

In other competitive news, I ran my 34th 5K yesterday. It was a fairly big race with a lot of walkers and I landed kinda near the front of the final third of the pack. Not too shabby.

Truth is, I mainly despise competing. I like collaborating. If we could all run the 5K together by everyone, young, old, fat, thin, short, tall, fast, slow, holding hands and crossing the finish line together, I would prefer that.

And if there was a way to get a job without competition (and I mean a good job; I'm not talking about becoming a paper carrier), I would jump at it.

Working with people - for real - is what a lot of these social media jobs are all about. They tend to have Twitter and FB and blogging window dressing, but they are usually about company collaboration. Yet the very essence of getting these jobs is to be cutthroat.

What's wrong with this picture?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DDOORN 10/30/2012 9:51AM

    Cutthroat collaboration...say what...? Very strange indeed! Kudos on the 5K...was hearing on the news about all the runners out on the streets of NYC in the wake of Sandy as there is a big run coming up in a few days. Neither rain nor sleet! :-)

Don

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QUEENOTHEFOREST 10/24/2012 6:53AM

    Yes Feh. And yes you are running a marathon, in the job hunt effort you make. I love that image of the collaborative race. At least you have us to cheer for you on both efforts.

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IMREITE 10/23/2012 12:58AM

    i am going through some of the same issues checking out some new job stuff. i have had a few internal interviews but i have had no luck. job interviews are never fun. i don't like playing the games. i'd rather be working.


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PHEBESS 10/22/2012 9:56PM

    Yeah, job hunting sucks big time! But you have interviews, you have interest, and I hope something will come through.

Have you also looked at internet jobs? Just for something until you find the dream job. I don't know what kind of jobs are available, but I've heard about people who work online, and I don't know if that's something you've looked into - but with your social media background, thought it might be worth mentioning.

Just good luck, hang in there, and something will come through!

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MS.ELENI 10/22/2012 5:18PM

    I feel so dumb when I read about your job hunts as I still don't understand what you do. I have no doubt you are good at whatever it is and hopefully the best job will show up.Job hunting is a big problem for a lot of people theses days.
All the 5 k's you have done is just super awesome.

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LALMEIDA 10/22/2012 4:42PM

  emoticon on the 5k and good luck with the job hunt. emoticon

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JSMC10 10/22/2012 1:41PM

    yay well done and I know job hunting sucks the life out of you! :( good luck and I hope you hear back from them soon! :)

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Don't Be Sold on the Very First One

Monday, October 15, 2012

www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVX9RCPdOk8

I have been thinking recently about the economics of obesity and weight loss.

At about the size 14 mark (up to size 18, depending upon the company), women's clothing suddenly turns about 10 - 25% more expensive. Now, truth be told, additional fabric is needed. And fabric is not free. I get the economics of this although it does not thrill me.

Larger automobiles cost more - and they often get worse gas mileage. Again, more sheet metal = more expenses. And that lowers fuel efficiency. Plus obesity lowers fuel efficiency. The same articles that tell you to take the junk out of your car's trunk in order to improve gas economy are often too polite to tell you to get the junk out of your own trunk. For gasoline efficiency does not care whether the extra 20 pounds comes from a pair of lounge chairs that are living in your car because you're too lazy to move them into your shed, or if it comes from a year's worth of Taco Bell.

Obesity can mean increased insurance costs, as your risks are higher. Insurance companies do not care whether your increased risk comes from cigarette smoking, living near an oil refinery, taking up sky diving as a hobby or that same per annum consumption of Taco Bell. They just make their actuarial calculations and you can come up short, and end up paying through the nose.

Yet, paradoxically, larger portion restaurants often cost less. And higher calorie foods (often the result of some serious processing) can also cost less. Funny, isn't it, that a lovely pound of apples which have had little done to them other than growth and harvesting can often cost more than a premade apple pie? Or a place that prides itself on its giant portions is dirt cheap, whereas a restaurant where everyone complains about portion size is often on the high end of things. Any size coffee - $2.69! Why the hell WOULDN'T you buy the biggest cup you could get? And cream and sugar are free. Why the hell WOULDN'T you load up on them as well?

It's an interesting dynamic, the push-pull of our culture when it comes to weight loss, dieting and obesity.

We recognize that we, as a nation, are getting fatter. We know we need to make better choices. We know we need to drive less and eat less and walk more and drink more water. Yet when it comes to that, we stymie ourselves at every turn. We make water hard to get (And public restrooms? Fuggeddabboutit!). We are plied with tons of cheaply made, mass-marketed, processed food for cheap. We are punished for our dietary choices with expensive clothing and the like. Yet we are rewarded for them with inexpensive food and billion dollar advertising campaigns and what is almost crack in that food, all to train our brains that it is delicious and addictive and we can't get enough of it.

We need to get off that train, people. We need to vote - with our wallets, and our feet, and our taste buds, and even our ballots.

Up with health!

Down with the paradoxical insanity!

Who's with me? I gotta find a castle to storm! Let's go storm a castle*!

*Er, maybe not a White Castle, okay?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAINTBETH 10/20/2012 11:40AM

    Interesting analysis! Thanks.

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BESEVEN 10/16/2012 10:43PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MS.ELENI 10/15/2012 11:49AM

    I sometime hear people say you can buy healthy without it being expensive. I would like to know what store they go to because all the ones I go to the healthy stuff costs the most.I could cut my grocery bill in half if I bought high fat high calorie food.

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SEXBOBOMB 10/15/2012 11:28AM

    I'll bring the torches!

This push-pull you wrote about is something that just chaps my hide! Watch any given TV commercial break and you'll have a Victoria's Secret spot ("Be Skinny!), followed by a Dove Chocolate Bar commercial ("Eat up, America!"), rounded out with Jennifer Hudson telling me "It's a New Day" ("Who told you you could eat Dove Bars, fatty?").

It's exhausting. And while I get it that it's not the advertiser's responsibility to send out a positive nutritional message to the chunky masses, there's got to be some way to get people off this one-extreme-or-the-other rollercoaster!

True story: I went to the movies last night and was drinking from a large bottle of water when I walked in (trying to get my 8 glasses in before the end of the night, don'tcha know). I was not permitted to enter with my water because they wanted me to buy one of the itty-bitty bottles of water that they sell for $3.50 at the concessions stand. Funny thing is, they sell giant vats of soda, sodas the size of my head, literally, for $3.00.

You buy the water, you drink it in the first five minutes of the movie and then have to spend another $3.50 for a second bottle to offset the salty popcorn.
You buy the soda, you'll be sucking on that thing until the end credits, and won't have to miss a minute of the movie.

It's that push-pull again, where what makes sense economically doesn't make sense nutritionally, and where convenience trumps health.

I bought the damn soda. I threw out most of it after the show.

I'm in. Let's storm the castle, with movie theaters next!


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Gravity Won't Pull You Through

Monday, October 08, 2012



www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdC6Yop3XbI

A lot of people have busy summers, but I rarely seem to these years. Instead, this is suddenly the really busy part of my year.

Perhaps it has to do with the leaves turning, the students coming back and the nip that is now firmly ensconced in the air. Maybe it's the beginning of the fourth quarter of the year, as people are saying - Hey, it's time to get serious.

And so it is serious time.

I enjoy the color of early autumn and the relief from the blisteringly hot summer we had. My walks have gotten faster as I've been able to exert myself without flop-sweating. The water I drink is now hot from the tap (I despise ice water, always have). My creative juices seem to be flowing a lot better. Things are good. I just seem to be *on*.

But this is the first half of autumn. The second half, eh, I don't like it so much. You really see the effects of the equinox-tilt. You see the skies getting darker so much earlier. The trees become barer. It is, as Simon and Garfunkel sang, the hazy shade of winter.

But that is for after All Hallows' Eve. For these last precious few weeks, it's foliage time. It is time to see pouch-cheeked squirrels fussing with their acorn bundles as they prepare for winter. No flirty chasing each other now, like they did in the spring. No. Now is the time to buckle down.

The littler and skinnier dogs in my neighborhood are starting to sport little jackets. They wear canid Patriots jerseys to match their owners. Schoolchildren waiting for the bus check one last time - Do I have my homework with me? And they do, for they have turned serious.

And we are all through with coasting, at least for now, I feel, as we get the real work done. And the real work means not only more resumes going out there (and more interviews - I had one last week and I have two this week. When it rains, it pours) but also more careful meal planning. More measuring. More walking. More water drinking (good thing - for me - that it's hot).

And it pays off, as last year's jeans fit just fine, and I am sure I'm be able to stretch last year's warm jackets one more year. For I, too, will be pulling on the thermals soon enough.

And the riots of color and the jumps into piles of raked leaves will mask the true seriousness of these days, as the slide down turns into a run down and elusive goals are, again, sought with vigor.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEE-KNEE 10/10/2012 8:55PM

    Happy fall.

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BESEVEN 10/9/2012 1:58PM

    I hope the jobs you're applying for are writing jobs. You're a fabulous writer!

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TEMPEST272002 10/9/2012 10:06AM

    Like you, I feel the push of fall. Time to squirrel away those acorns for winter.

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CAROLISCIOUS 10/8/2012 9:23PM

    A good read! Thanks!

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GUITARWOMAN 10/8/2012 2:00PM

    Well-put!

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MS.ELENI 10/8/2012 1:03PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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QUEENOTHEFOREST 10/8/2012 12:57PM

    lovely. Even to an avowed fall hater.

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SEXBOBOMB 10/8/2012 10:48AM

    Lovely portrait of the season -- thank you for this!
emoticon


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Brainstorm, Take Me Away From the Norm

Monday, October 01, 2012



www.youtube.com/watch?v=fY3ATmNPtWI

It's a good day for a pic of a baby duck.

Hence the photo.

Anyway - 2 days ago, I ran my (gawd) 34th 5K. Every time I say the # these days, it's freaky. I mean, who the hell does that?

Yet I suppose I do.

It comes from doing 10 races/year, and having done them since '09 (the 1st year, we did a much smaller #, hence the overall total isn't going to be 40 by the end of the calendar year). We'll do 11 this year, when all is said and done.

We run a 5K every month except for January and February, and this year we ended up with two in September. It is not hard, particularly when you get into the mode of not giving a damn if you're last. And I truly do not. Actually, in some ways, that's kinda cool. Everyone sees me arrive! :)

For this one, I was in the middle of the pack, both for my age group and overall. But this was a far larger group than normal and it was about half walkers. Essentially, I am fast for walking but I am slow for running. C'est la vie.

We'll see how the next one goes (10/21). And the next (11/4). And the one after that (12/16). Yeah, really.

It shapes the month and gives us things to look forward to. We both have drawers crammed with tee shirts. We support funky causes (this one was the Good Samaritans, who are suicide prevention). Next one will be to support the local YMCA and I think the following two will be for Boston Children's Hospital. All of that, to me, is more important than "winning", well, anything.

Get into the habit.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

QUEENOTHEFOREST 10/7/2012 2:09PM

    I gotta do this. It sounds like fun. And maybe someday I will bump into you!

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MS.ELENI 10/1/2012 7:04PM

    I think you doing the 5K's is awesome emoticon

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PICKIE98 10/1/2012 6:08PM

    A nun's habit??LOL! Time for a teeshirt sale !!

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GUITARWOMAN 10/1/2012 1:15PM

    I really like this!

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IFDEEVARUNS2 10/1/2012 12:04PM

    Love it! You are awesome, first or last. emoticon

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Wishing You Were Far Away

Monday, September 24, 2012



www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-H0uIH5HHQ

You'd think, with all this "leisure" time I have, not working and all, that I'd be happily relaxed and not pining for a vacation.

'Course not.

A part of it is the inevitable worry, not just about money and bills, but also, a small, nagging voice saying, "You're never going to work again!"

I hate that voice.

Yet it is talking to me, and it gets louder at times, and softer at others. Yes, folks, same old, same ole - I can't find work.

It is not through a lack of effort on my part, nor is it due to a lack of prospects out there (although over the summer, it was dead, dead, dead here). Last Friday, I had a phone screen. It all sounded lovely. The woman I talked to was pleasant and liked my questions. And whenever I'd ask, "Now, let me see if I understand ...", I would be right.

And here we are.

Now, I am well aware that these things take time, it doesn't happen overnight, yeah, I know all of this. I know the lyrics to this old song because I sing it every freakin' day.

And of course I sing it about my weight loss journey as well.

Important things take time.
You didn't get heavy overnight.
Maintenance is harder than losing.
Long-term losing is especially difficult.
You're 50 so, by definition, losing is a pain in the patoot.

And on and on and on.

I am awfully tired of the song.

And I am so tired of it that, truth be told, I've been ignoring other still, small voices.

On Sunday (er, yesterday), I got out a pair of jeans and put them on. Now, this is not remarkable in and of itself. However, this was the first time I'd put on something longer than capri pants (other than sweats) since early June or so, when Massachusetts decided to become as hot as the surface of the sun.

Size 16, dontcha know.

And they fit.

No tugging, no holding my breath. No cursing the day I was born.

Yes, I have been smaller. During this weight loss journey, I flirted off and into size 10 territory.

But I am fine with this. For the voice that tells me I will never work again and that I am a 16 and should be a 10 is trying to drown out the other voice.

The other voice says, yeah, you're a 16, but less than 5 years ago, you were a 26.

It says you walk every day and you lift weights and you have stamina that other people of your age can only dream about.

It says you make good choices and you don't let a brownie pulverize your willpower and your desire.

It says this ain't easy but you are doing it pretty damned well.

Now I just need to get it to talk about my job search.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

QUEENOTHEFOREST 10/7/2012 2:14PM

    you sound like you are exactly where you are most comfortable being and what a wonderful thing it is to able to know that.

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TEMPEST272002 9/24/2012 9:15PM

    Keep arguing back against the voice that is lying to you. You will work again. You have made major life changes. You are worthy just exactly how you are right now.

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ADRIENALINE 9/24/2012 1:23PM

    It WILL happen. It just takes time!

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MS.ELENI 9/24/2012 1:10PM

    I think you do great. emoticon emoticon

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GUITARWOMAN 9/24/2012 12:12PM

    Sounds like you have the right attitude!

the job thing is hard....I think you are in a techie kind of field?

Could you do other kind of work?

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PHEBESS 9/24/2012 11:25AM

    YAY for smaller jeans!

And there's a job out there for you - it's the finding that job that sucks.

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DDOORN 9/24/2012 11:14AM

    Self-Acceptance muscles...I think they're some of the hardest ones to build...and it sounds like you are ROCKIN' in that department! Awesome deal! :-)

Don

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KLONG8 9/24/2012 11:05AM

    I loved this blog, thank you. You are fighting the good fight and winning. The voices are there for all of us but recognizing that and working to drown them out is the way to go. Congratulations on losing 10 dress sizes AND with that type of focus I know you'll have a work opportunity soon. Good luck, good luck...good luck! emoticon

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IFDEEVARUNS2 9/24/2012 11:04AM

    And it will. Just be sure to listen! emoticon

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