JESPAH   174,256
100,000 or more SparkPoints
JESPAH's Recent Blog Entries

It Feels So Close, But Always Disappears

Monday, August 06, 2012

Frankly, I was hoping for an excuse to show this little cutie, so here it is. :)

But our goals do hide sometimes, eh? They get behind the chair or, more likely, behind the ice cream pint or the plate of french fries or pick your poison, whatever it is, and they required some moving and reshuffling and when we look up they are further away and we are left wondering just what the hell happened.

And we get distracted, as we see the neon lights of complacency and just plain old hanging around. I gotta say, it's been hot as blazes again, and so just hanging around looks awfully good. Sometimes that's one of the few options, when it's really brutal out there.

But with that hanging around and not exercising so much has to, hand in hand, come the corollary - eat less.

But it's oh, so easy to ignore that part of things, and so hanging around also turns into more of a festival of eating. We're bored. We're at home. We're sedentary.

It's so ... easy.

But it's a seductive lie.

It strips us of our purpose and diminishes our efforts.

I say, fight complacency back, and kick it in the keister.

This heat has been brutal, but the mornings aren't so bad, and neither are the evenings. So walk then. Or go to a mall and walk. Or a gym. Or head to a cooler spot - perhaps a local beach or lake? Swimming is fantastic, and walking on sand can be quite the workout as you fight sinking.

Just, don't let it block your view of what's important.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NVDONNA 8/11/2012 12:40PM

    Guilty! Complacency and general laziness. You are so right. It is just easier. Gotta suck it up and do the HARD work. Ugh,,,but it's so hard!!!! WAH!!! LOL!!

OK,,,I have the exercise clothes ON,,,,now just gotta go do it! I will! Going now!! While it is still cool. Hotter than heck here too!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KASEYCOFF 8/7/2012 5:00AM

    Brilliant. And motivating.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 8/6/2012 8:21PM

    Weekend eating continues to be my distraction. Why is it that when Friday night goals go hide behind that chair and peek through the cracks at me?

Report Inappropriate Comment
VALERIEMAHA 8/6/2012 1:18PM

    Say it like it is, grrl!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GUITARWOMAN 8/6/2012 12:10PM

    So true......

It is hard to keep focus sometimes when life gets in the way, but there are ways to cope....

And, I feel more and more that eating the junk is just not worth it!


Report Inappropriate Comment
DRAGONCHILDE 8/6/2012 11:57AM

    I think you got photobombed. Love the picture!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GEE-KNEE 8/6/2012 10:47AM

    I have a chair that looks very close to that.... :) It is really easy to eat more and move less... if you have air, there is also the option of throwing on a video and cranking up the air at home. I personally love running early (like 5:30) in the morning in the winter (now that would be CA winter) because it's so cold outside, that I run the whole thing just to keep from freezing my bum off. Heat can be no fun. How about swimming? Any access to a pool?

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 8/6/2012 10:29AM

    Loved the cutie behind the chair.
Good blog as usual

Report Inappropriate Comment
BUSYGRANNY5 8/6/2012 9:45AM

    Great blog... cute chair and adorable dog, too!

Have a great day!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Sue Me if I Play Too Long

Monday, July 30, 2012

Lately, the clock has been moving way, way, WAY too fast.

I feel like I'm running in place in order to be behind, if that makes any sense.

Part of it is the heat. Part of it is just plain ole garden-variety boredom. I've been doing the same old, same old for so long that I'm just affected with fifty shades of ennui.

Another part of it is, because of said boredom, I am overbooked with all sorts of little time killers, time wasters, time scrubbers, time eaters, time smashers, and they are doing it to me, big time.

This morning - because it's a Monday - here's what I have done so far (it's 11 something AM here).
* Showered
* Lifted weights
* Walked for 85 minutes
* This blog
* Added stories to two different fic sites
* Breakfast
* eight 8-oz glasses of water
* toured around three sites where I do community management
* talked to a recruiter
* applied for a job (unrelated to said recruiter)
* weighed in at Spark, recorded food and exercise
* email in two different accounts
* managed the RSVPs coming in (I'm planning a partay for my own 50th birthday, so there's stuff to keep organized)
* managed my fantasy baseball team (I'm in 4th place)
* took a look at the teams as they are shaping up for fantasy football
* made sure there were no comments to be moderated for my blog or my father's blog

Once I am done with this here blog, I still have Facebook and Twitter to look at.

Plus somewhere in there I have actual work to do for a place where I do community management and also some mild marketing stuff (this is online research).

Yes, folks, it's hard work being unemployed.

Now, I am well aware that most of this junk will be swept away when I begin actually working again. And I am often more nutty about such things than I need to be. I mean, is the world going to fall apart if I don't play Scrabble online one day? Not really.

And of course some things are more of a priority than others. The exercise. The food tracking. The water drinking. The job search. The work for the people who are paying me a pittance but wish they could pay me more.

I know where the lines are drawn between fun and obligations. But I don't mind blurring them on occasion. The work for the pittance people is, for the most part, kinda fun. Walking is fun. Blogging is, too.

Otherwise, I mean, sheesh - why do it at all?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    The 50 shades referenced is hilarious. I think maybe there is no such thing as a time waster. We can't always get what we want. Hmmm. Why am I hearing Mick right now. Yes. Well. Maybe one of the hardest things to want is good work if it is out of reach. But the things you spoke of here have great value and the pay is precious, just as your time is. There is no waste. What you do is now part of who you are. ST, job hunting, blogging. All of it. Not a drop was wasted. Not a single moment. and I suspect anything you touch becomes fun. 50 shades indeed

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 7/31/2012 8:54AM

    "fifty shades of ennui" it! Nails it for me lately for reasons I have yet to pinpoint...ugh!


Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 7/30/2012 9:28PM

    Your list of time killers, wasters, scrubbers, eaters, and smashers looks pretty productive to me!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 7/30/2012 3:21PM

    Sounds like you had a very busy morning

Report Inappropriate Comment

The Grass is Always Greener Over There

Monday, July 23, 2012

I am spending much of the day indoors, yet again. The heat broke, but the relief was all too brief. We are back to air like hockey pucks. Hence I walked at 6:30 or so. It's done, that much is all well and good.

Back to other things, but the siren song of social media keeps calling me and it's screaming loud in my ear and it's like a nest full of baby birds and it won't SHADDAP ALREADY!!!

From Facebook to Twitter to my two regular blogs to writing to here and back again, around and around I go. And it's like wishing for something better, half the time or perhaps more frequently than that. I swear it's not just that we, as a culture, have short attention spans. I believe we also, again as a culture, are conditioned to, more or less all the time, covet something better.

Now, this is not necessarily such an awful thing. After all, striving for something better is why we're here, yes? We lift one more pound of weight, walk one more mile, do one more rep, drink one more cup of water. We leave it all out there on the field.

There are two fraternal twin impulses in life - Laziness and Covetousness. They are deeply ingrained in our genome. Laziness means we don't expend too much energy when we are starving, and we conserve. Covetousness means we try to get better. These sins - if you can call them that - they might just redeem us, eh?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I do love this. What I call reframing. You are the master.

Report Inappropriate Comment
2BMYOWN 7/24/2012 9:07PM

    LOL What did we ever do in the days before computers.....?? And I distinctly remember hearing myself say **back in the day** "I'll NEVER have one of THOSE things!" Aaaah, yes.....eating crow. Probably why I'm so heavy. LMAO

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 7/24/2012 12:26PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 7/23/2012 9:57PM

    Good to hear from you as always Jes...yes I sometimes scratch my head over the social media thing and the time I can allow it to soak up. Lazy: Object at rest, Covetousness: Object in motion! :-)


Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 7/23/2012 9:55PM

    Might as well make the best of laziness and they are ingrained.

Let's laziness keeps me from overdoing covetousness keeps me from giving up all together.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TELERIE 7/23/2012 5:07PM

    Sometimes we have to stop and smell the roses. Or think slow thoughts. Not always laziness, but a cllse cousin?

Report Inappropriate Comment
GUITARWOMAN 7/23/2012 4:40PM

    Interesting thoughts....certainly carnivores, as long as they are not hungry, sleep a lot--look at your common house cat! And they do not move around for the sake of moving, as you might run into something that will want to eat you.


Report Inappropriate Comment
STARMIZER2000 7/23/2012 2:47PM

  Good reading

Report Inappropriate Comment

Let's Have a Mini-Surrender

Monday, July 16, 2012

I have been dragging myself around for days, weeks, it feels like months although I know, intellectually, it has not been quite that long.

It is HOT.

Now, the real definition of a heat wave is three consecutive days of 90+ temperatures. For those of you who use the Metric System, 90+ degrees is M*F'in' HOT.

It has not, for the most part, technically been heat waves (although I think we might hit one this week. We also had one when this nonsense started, back in mid-June). But it has been over 80, 85 most days, and it has been humid. The air is like thick, plain oatmeal. You can stand a spoon in it.

And so, of course, what did I do last weekend?

Heh, I ran my 30th 5K.

The time was godawful; the third-worst time I have ever had. I am also heavier than I have ever been for a 5K. As in, when you compare to the lightest I was for a race, I am 56.8 pounds more.



Funny thing is, I don't look huge.

Now, I don't say I look skinny by any means, but I don't look like I'm in love with the buffet at Denny's, either. This was how I was in Junior High, and High School, and into much of college and Law School. Densely packed. A surprise inside, perhaps, like a fortune cookie, eh?

A big part of that is strength training. I see people lifting 5 and 10 pound weights and I am supportive, yanno, but I last lifted a 10 pound weight for a workout back when I was recovering from abdominal surgery. Back in '10.

What do I lift now?

45 pounds, folks.

Why that amount?

Well, the thing of it is, any higher and I start to leave the realm of hand weights and hit the realm of big honkin' barbells. And I don't have the room or the budget for same.

When I was doing the gym, I was lifting more. But the gym is also not in the cards right now. Too much of a cash sink right now. I just can't justify it in the budget, even if I live there.

So I take my preexisting iPod and hand canteen that I won in the after-race raffle after one of my 5Ks, and wear my sneaks and my shades and a Red Sox cap and a tee or a halter top and cargo shorts and little New Balance socks and I go out there into the fiber-rich miasma that is Boston and I swim past the people who are panting as they barely move from air conditioned house to air conditioned car to air conditioned office to air conditioned restaurant to air conditioned gym (maybe) and then, eventually, back to air conditioned house.

I go out there and I do it. I am s...l...o...w in the heat, but that's to be expected. I also only do somewhat short stints. It's generally 30 minutes or so, rather than the usual 80 (no wonder I've gained weight). At home there is a fat free yogurt and a 90-calorie fiber bar that I have stowed in the freezer and will make my fillings rattle and will, hopefully, cool me down a bit.

And then tomorrow I get to do it all over again.

And I say "uncle" to no one. Not to those who look at a woman who weighs nearly 230 and cluck and disapprove and wonder why I'm not hidden away somewhere. Not to those who think it's too hot to do ANYTHING, because even one small thing is something. Not to those who just do the air conditioner glide from house to car to office and around, almost as if they were in one large, temperature-controlled human Habitrail.

But I am getting awfully tired of the heat.

So, heatwave and near-heatwave gods? Let's have a mini-surrender, mmmkay? Otherwise I'll need to go out and buy more halter tops, and I am not so sure my public is ready for that yet.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VALERIEMAHA 7/23/2012 8:00PM

    You be damned impressive, grrl!!! (Totally out of the loop on blogs, sorrie.)
Puny Maha

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Great blog. How did I almost miss it? Maybe cause it is so *******hot? I did not realize you lifted so much weight either. Or made it out for a run even in this kind of heat. Kudos to you Kiddo!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BESEVEN 7/19/2012 3:12AM

    emoticonLove this post! You have the best attitude ever! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOKEYOKEY 7/17/2012 10:14PM

    Way to go with stamina, determination, and just plain old strength!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 7/17/2012 8:43AM

    Slow & steady wins the race, no...? :-)

Good for you to stick with it. Even though we've had our spells here in upstate NY a couple weeks ago while at our family reunion I was "treated" to the mid-West blast furnace where it was 94 freakin' degrees at 9 pm...! It was surreal to step out into the dark and WHOOSH!

I beat the heat by cycling first thing in the a.m. and would leave the hotel on my bike at 7, bike the 25 miles to my parent's place, have breakfast and bike back to the hotel. This heat is something else...almost eerie. It feels like a whole new sea change is afoot, where a/c is no longer a frill but a matter of life and death.


Report Inappropriate Comment
TELERIE 7/17/2012 6:41AM

    I could send over some cooler temp and a bit of our rain... emoticon
You're such an inspiration, J! I'm going to think about you next time I'm trying to sneak out of a workout.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 7/16/2012 7:49PM

    Verra admirable...

Report Inappropriate Comment
MALCONTENTION 7/16/2012 4:47PM

    Good for you! I got out on my bike this morning and it was actually pretty darned nice.

Report Inappropriate Comment
GUITARWOMAN 7/16/2012 4:19PM

    45 pounds?

I got up to 6 pound dumbells before I had to pull back to 4 after my surgery.

You rock!

Even in southern Ontario, it is still pretty hot. I am walking a bit outside (can't treadmill because of my foot) and I go out really early in the morning to avoid the worst of the heat.

Stay cool!


Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 7/16/2012 3:57PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
QUAIL75 7/16/2012 3:52PM

    emoticon It's so awesome the heat isn't slowing you down! I live in Boston too and dang, it's been hot. I normally walk to the gym after work but I've been taking the bus so I don't arrive in a puddle of sweat and heat exhaustion.

Cooler temperatures are coming this week, hopefully.

Report Inappropriate Comment
WV_JIM 7/16/2012 1:03PM

    As a 40 year resident of the great state of Alaska who now lives in West by God Virginia, I completely empathize with your heat wave blues. We had a real heat wave AND our AC broke. It isn't as hot now but you can swim without getting in the water because it is so muggy.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


I completely understand!! (The heat, being heavier than previous times running, but still not giving up because I know that I'm stronger and that's what counts.)

Here's to you and what you need to have a fabulous week!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEXBOBOMB 7/16/2012 12:33PM

    Holy crap, 45 pounds?!?!?!


And I do agree, we all need a break from this heat. Saturday, I ran in 100% humidity, people. In Atlanta. And it's just July!

Report Inappropriate Comment

We Know the Game and We're Gonna Play It

Monday, July 09, 2012

The pic is silly, and so is the song.

I am in a less than serious mood. I've been serious for far too long!

Perhaps the heat is finally really getting to me. I dunno.

But in the meantime, fun is kinda the point, now, isn't it? Sure, we have a lot of extremely serious reasons for doing what we do.

We want to be healthy. We want to live longer. We want to see grandchildren grow up. Etc. etc. etc. yadda yadda yadda.

We also want to look good (or at least better) in swimsuits. We want to look good nekkid - and have more fun while nekkid. We want to have people look at us and smile. We want to fit into the seats at baseball games and on roller coasters, and walk through haunted houses straight and not sideways, and dance without shaking the paint off the walls (unless we really want to).

All of these are perfectly legitimate and wonderful reasons. They all work. They are all good.

Me, today, my reason is to be able to wear this pair of shorts I've got on without my thighs rubbing together so much that the inner legs stop riding up.

Yep - there's my big motivation today.

Oh, and if you start up the music - you're gonna get Rickrolled. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DMPRIDER 7/9/2012 10:59PM

    You got to go with the motivation where you find it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 7/9/2012 9:01PM

    I have a thread on my little team called "What's your Why?"

I post my silly reasons why I do this...
eg..."because I love it when hubby tells me my a$$ looks good"

I've tried to get my team members to join me, but I've had very few takers. It IS fun and I love your motivation for today!

Report Inappropriate Comment

    That pup looks like Silly Milly only blue. Maybe I will dye her instead of easter eggs next year? Howz dat for silly.

Those are great reasons to be here doing this. Your blogs are too.


Report Inappropriate Comment
LALMEIDA 7/9/2012 8:44PM

  Cute dog! My thing today was to get some more packed boxes up to my new home and unpacked. My husband and I are moving next week. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 7/9/2012 12:15PM

    My thing for today is just to get up and walk to another room and back every 30 minutes.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHEBESS 7/9/2012 10:37AM

    I like the blue dog!

And my motivation for getting/staying healthy and fit is to have more fun for further into old age!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEXBOBOMB 7/9/2012 9:40AM

    I actually, oddly, enjoy the random Rickroll -- thanks for the AM smile!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WELLNESSME09 7/9/2012 8:25AM

    All great reasons to emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DLDROST 7/9/2012 7:48AM


Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 Last Page