JESPAH   184,595
150,000-199,999 SparkPoints
JESPAH's Recent Blog Entries

I Thought, Oh God, My Chance Has Come at Last

Monday, December 19, 2011

This is for everyone who suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder. You know who you are.

The Solstice is in two days. Two!

And then it will begin to get brighter. So, yay on that.

But in the meantime, man oh man.

It suddenly got colder here. A LOT colder. We had been skirting around in the 50s, and it was lovely, but you also knew it was a lie. I mean, this is freakin' New England! It gets cold here during the winters. We have hard freezes! Every year! So, it was out of place and wicked bizaah.

I held out, in terms of wearing my winter jacket, until last week. And that was somewhat good, as last year I had gone to DefCon 5 with my bundling a lot earlier in the winter. This time, I held out, but it was the warm weather that helped, of course. If it had been in the 30s, well, then of course I would've grabbed my winter jacket earlier.

My winter jacket is also a lot less forgiving in terms of size than my autumn things. And so I was reminded that 2011 has been less than optimal in terms of weight. While things are not horrid (I weighed in at 216.6 this morning), they could certainly be better. I fear the subtle creep back on of weight, and I think that may be starting again. But it's hard to get enthusiastic about being vigilant right now. Life just feels cold and ugly and drab and draggy.

This is not a license to eat gobs of cake and I don't. Plus I do get the working out in. And I do it by lying to myself. The bus, you see, it gets on the highway to Boston. But there are numerous stops after it leaves the highway (this is in terms of the evening commute) and before it gets to the stop closest to my home. So I get off at the first stop after it gets off the highway, and I walk. This results in either 25 or 30 minutes of walking, with the differential dependent upon whether I take one bus versus another. It may not seem like a lot, but it is how I am getting it done these days.

As for the weekends, I make an effort to do the big walk on at least one of the two days, if not both. Last weekend, it was planned out for me as I ran the last 5K of the year, the Somerville Jingle Bell Run. I did not do so well, and could tell, but it is rather difficult to get anywhere near a PB when it's less than 30 degrees F out and you are mainly just trying to keep warm. I also totally forgot to take my performance enhancing drugs (Advil), so the aches and pains and slowness there was also caused by that oversight. But I did finish, and I got another nify finisher medal. :)

In the meantime, the light will come back, you know. It will come back incrementally, and sometimes we can lose patience with that, just as so many other things come back incrementally, and it can be tough to hang in there and wait for it all to happen. And as we goose it along, even then it may not come on our own personal timetables.

But it will happen.

For all of you SAD sufferers, there is a light, and it never goes out.

And that light is in you.

Enjoy the Smiths. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARLAH528 12/30/2011 8:25PM

    Thanks for this blog. I didn't know there were others like me. I called it spring fever. I live in GA and it is in the 60's one day and the 40's another with the nights getting cold. I hate the rain and the temps fool the bulbs into coming up and the trees into budding and then the temps drop for a week and kills it all. January thru March are hard for me. I thrive on green growing things. I have my cactus garden on top of the fridge and much be content with that until warmer weather. But now I know I don't suffer alone.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TEENY_BIKINI 12/30/2011 7:14PM

    Thanks for this blog.


Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 12/22/2011 9:06AM

    Thx for the reminders, chin up and all...hanging in there!


Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 12/21/2011 9:47PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
2WHEELEDSHARON 12/20/2011 9:24PM

    My heart goes out to you SADies. I'm exactly the opposite, spring time comes and woe is me with that warmth and sun all up in my grill, which is why Seattle is perfect for me.
But I do like the light being around longer. Hang in there, it's SO close. I don't remember much about East coast sunsets in January, but here, they're beauteous. Keep an eye up and let me know!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNONMAPLES 12/20/2011 5:26PM

  Oh, FLPALM, me too -- DH is in the same boat! And we mark it as the coming of the lighter days. We also have a new granddaughter, whose birthday is TOMORROW. So lots of cause to celebrate here. But Jespah, thank you for a wonderful blog entry. I do sometimes feel the blues and it's been unceasingly GRAY hereabouts, and rather warm. In fact, I had to buy a new winter jacket -- my old one is absolutely worn to bits, although I LOVED it for our wet, rainy climate -- and it has been TOO warm to wear. I have had trouble getting in the holiday spirit exactly because of the grayness. So in that sense, I am a SAD sufferer. And I'm really looking forward to the Solstice this year!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHANARO 12/19/2011 6:49PM

    Getting off at the earlier bus stop is brilliant! Thanks for the idea.

Report Inappropriate Comment
4A-HEALTHY-BMI 12/19/2011 4:22PM

    OMG I hate the dark. I can't paddle rivers in it. I can do lakes though. And if it's too dark or the rivers are all frozen, that's what I do, with a buddy who also doesn't mind the dark and the cold. Fortunately the Finger Lakes are extremely deep (basically the same thing as Loch Ness, no really) and so they don't freeze over.

But yeah, I am totally looking forward to solstice. And not looking forward to that point when they change the time on us and we have to start waking up in the dark again. But I'll worry about that when we get there.

Hang in there, and shine brightly.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FLPALM 12/19/2011 2:31PM

    The 21st is my DH's birthday, so we look at it as, his day....then the days just START GETTING LONGER!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TMW54812 12/19/2011 1:35PM


I keep my indoor Christmas lights on till helps, living in NH White Mts.

Report Inappropriate Comment
AIRPEACH 12/19/2011 12:04PM

    I, too, am awaiting the solstice. Just after midnight, a little over 2.5 days from now (12:30am EST 12/22/11), we'll be there.
Hmm... Perhaps turning on my full spectrum craft light might be helpful?
Trying to find my internal light, but having a hard time this morning. Thank you for the reminder.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CODYG123 12/19/2011 10:55AM

    I love to decorate everything with a ton of lights, all that color and sparkle help my sense of well being during an otherwise torturous few months of darkness. This year our Canadian west coast weather has been mild, without a flake of of snow here at sea level. But, as E says, "It's not even winter yet!" Hope you have a Happy Solstice! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

I'm so Fly, that's Probably Why

Monday, December 12, 2011

So, a big thank you again, as I was chosen as Motivator of the Day last week. :)

It turned into a very busy week, as I was not only thanking folks but also doing reporting, as we hit the first five business days of the month and a boatload of stuff is due. Kinda tired at the end of the week. I had been concerned that I did not have enough to do during the days and, at least last week, I did. So that's better in some ways, as I hate just sitting around, but not so wonderful in others, as I truly did not want to be filling my days with that stuff. Eh, it's okay. These are the cards that were dealt.

In other news, holiday shopping is done, including the Yankee Swap gift for work. Er, actually, I take that back as Mr. Jay's folks aren't done yet, but they will be soon. And then we can relax and start to think of gifts for each other. For me (and I know Mr. J reads these), I would like new unmentionables. Size 36C. Thank you. :)

Oh yeah, for those of you who are not New Englanders, I will now explain the Yankee Swap, in iambic pentameter.

Working in New England, it's holiday time
to not participate would be a crime
the Yankee Swap is the method for the madness
to banish Seasonal Affective Disorder sadness.

A number is selected - you really want one
'cause two has the least amount of fun
an example, here, we'll go with twenty
unmarked gifts, you see, the selection's plenty
number one picks first
the gift might be the worst.

Two then picks, unwraps a present
and can trade it for one's, which is kinda pleasant
three comes along and opens a third
and can trade it for one's or two's - my word!

And four and so on, until all are done
and then it comes back to number one
who can trade his gift for any other
so he gets the best, oh brother!

Spending limit is small, but don't be sad
if you pick my gift, you'll get colored pencils and a sketch pad :)

I always give either crayons or colored pencils and an unlined sketch pad. That way, I figure, if anyone needs to give a last minute gift for a kid, they can always regift mine. Scratch tickets and Starbucks gift cards, and cheap alcohol, tend to be favored, so it's often a contest to see who gets the best of the booze. Last time I played this, I actually got my own gift back (I did not have the best of numbers).

Our holiday party is the 22nd. I'll let you know if I get anything good (Yankee Swaps are also, often, a place for people to dump weird stuff from their homes. I could end up with an old picture of Carl Yastrzemski). C'mon one (the numbers are generally picked out of a hat)!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHRISPYLEE 12/15/2011 9:20PM

    Haha...we call this Chinese Christmas where i come from (Texas)....i hope you get the 1.
36 C? Nice!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TEENY_BIKINI 12/15/2011 1:07PM

    Personally, I would like a 36C for Christmas, in general :)

Congrats on finishing the shopping early - right now, going to any store is a madhouse, even the supermarket.

Rock this holiday - like you rock everything else.



Report Inappropriate Comment

    Aiyiyiyi! Good thing we don't do one like this at work. I wold be lost for sure.And end up buying 20 gifts in case somebody did not like theirs. Ha

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEAJESS 12/14/2011 2:12PM

    Fly on, MOD! Thanks for telling me what it is and where to look for it. Good thing the motivation you provide is not as obscure as the acknowledgement you get for giving it.... maybe there's a parable there....

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNONMAPLES 12/14/2011 8:42AM

  Maybe the worst is behind! Funny music video! I will look forward to hearing about the Swap, they're always a lot of fun! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DMPRIDER 12/13/2011 9:25AM

    I missed our annual barn party and Yankee Swap this past weekend as I was out of town visiting family. It is always so much fun to see what gifts people bring and what the most coveted item is. There is always one thing that gets swapped for the most.

I was once at an enormous holiday gathering that did the swap with this twist - There are a lot of kids in attendance. This was "horsey" group so most of gifts were in that vein. After the last person had chosen a gift, instead of going back to number one, all the kids in the room had their choice. They could swap their gift for one from any of the adults. It worked pretty well.

Report Inappropriate Comment
2WHEELEDSHARON 12/12/2011 9:42PM

    We're having a Yankee Swap this Wednesday at work. If somebody (in addition to me) doesn't bring booze, my griddle will be officially sizzled and I will strike!
Have fun!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 12/12/2011 8:52PM

    We call it Nasty Santa in the South. It was played at our Parrot Head Christmas party...and lucky me, I got number 2. I selected an obviously wrapped bottle of wine. No one took it. (The rums and tequilas are favored at a parrot head party...go figure?) The wine turned out to be a good choice...a nice Port...and, come to think of it, totally unsuitable for regifting to a child.
Hubby got $20 in scratch off tickets...of which he won $2. The tickets were our own gift. I convinced him to steal them from the chick who got them...after I saw the incredible look of disappointment on her face when she opened her surprise. She very happily turned them over and stole a fluffy blanket from another party-goer. What a great game.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FIT_TERI 12/12/2011 8:48PM

    You *are* so fly!! I live in what can sometimes be considered as the very southwestern-most portion of New England (but it's really NY metro)....but I AM familiar with the Yankee Swap! It's fun, especially with the right crowd. Good for you for getting your shopping done. And congrats on the MOTD!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MINIUM 12/12/2011 4:01PM

    Sounds like fun!
I quite like the song - I didn't know it.
Have a great holiday season!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CODYG123 12/12/2011 3:49PM

    Congrats on the Motivator thing! And on the 36C! (My last shopping for unmentionables, last August, was an "ah ha!," or "egads" motivating moment to get me back to SP.)

emoticonHope your holiday season is a good one and thanks for sharing in 2010. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 12/12/2011 11:56AM

    It is a fun thing to do.I belonged to a club that did it each year but some would get upset if thay didn't get something they liked etc. So I made sure it was understood it was for fun and do not do it if you can't be a good sport.

Report Inappropriate Comment

Get Out of that State You're In

Monday, December 05, 2011

So, kids, it's December 5th. This means that the darkest day o' the year will happen in 16 days.

It also means that things will start to brighten up in 17 days.


It's all in the perspective, yanno?

I weighed in this morning at 211 and change.

Oh, my God! I'm 5'6"! I'm supposed to be 156! As in, 55 lbs. lighter.

Oh, my God! I used to be 346! As in, I am 135 lbs. lighter.

I will be 50 in less than 9 months.

Oh, my God! I'm getting old! I will never be bouncy again!

Oh, my God! I'm so much bouncier than I was when I turned 40!

This morning, I went into my less than optimal job.

Oh, my God! It stinks! I hate it! This is not what I wanna do for the rest of my life!

Oh, my God! I'm making money! People are nice! I'm making contacts!

My lower teeth are crooked. I've been going grey since I was 20 something. I can't sing. I don't go on awesome vacations.

My eyes are pretty nice. I do a good job coloring my hair. I can write. I stay home for vacations 'cause my house is almost paid for.

... And there you have it.

We can pick apart our own flaws, and the flaws of others, until the cows come home. We are all observant enough people. Surely we all see the flyaway hair, the slightly smeared makeup, the jiggly butt, the uneven fingernails. Or we can see the eyes that are like a window to the sky. And the smile that lights up a whole city block. And the proud stance. And the confident walk. And the wisdom in a look, or in words.

And we can see the essence from within, yes?

Can we see that in others?

I sure as hell hope we all can.

And can we turn that mirror inward, and see it in ourselves?

I sure as hell hope we all can.

Get out of that state you're in.

Slip into a better one.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TCEDEROTH 1/7/2012 12:18AM

    Yet again, you bring me to tears.

Report Inappropriate Comment
THECITYMOUSE 12/10/2011 11:06AM I love your blogs and all....but I think this one is my fave.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 12/9/2011 12:21PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FLPALM 12/8/2011 11:12AM

    Good BLOG! I think it is cute, STAYING HOME FOR VACATIONS, paying off the house! It works for me!

I live in Central MA, but was born and raised on Cape Cod!
You never know, we could be meeting each other on the streets....I promise I'd wave! Honestly, it is so nice to know that there are people willing to share their stories, it helps so much!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MINIUM 12/6/2011 2:48PM

    Excellent! Thanks for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHRISPYLEE 12/6/2011 12:52PM

    Right on!!
Crazy how Spark led me to your page today, when i needed to read this most!
I am getting out of this "state" right now!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TINNATEE 12/6/2011 10:49AM

    Thank you so much. I really, really needed to read that today. I love your perspective.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MRE1956 12/6/2011 10:33AM

    I'd love to do exactly that - and preferably head for *Florida*!

(insert "rimshot" here, followed immediately by groaning.....)


But seriously, though - emoticon post ..... emoticon for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JOHNTJ1 12/6/2011 9:41AM

    emoticon emoticon

Good Stuff!!!

Thank you for sharing this

Much Love


Report Inappropriate Comment
IFDEEVARUNS2 12/6/2011 9:39AM

    Awesome blog!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KELLIGIRL523 12/6/2011 8:05AM

    perspective. right on!


Report Inappropriate Comment
2WHEELEDSHARON 12/6/2011 7:03AM

    That's pretty bad ass.
I'm envious of your hair dyeing talent. Er, I mean, I have hair that keeps my ears warm!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ORGANIC811LFRV 12/6/2011 6:52AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 12/6/2011 1:56AM

    Thx Jes', much needed that!


Report Inappropriate Comment
DOKEYOKEY 12/6/2011 12:20AM

    Beautiful! We see what we wanna see in so many instances. Thanks for pointing out the beauty and goodness! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
VALERIEMAHA 12/5/2011 11:31PM

OMG! what inspired writing! I loved every word of it. Thanks from the bottom of my heart, said it Just. Right!!!
emoticon& emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DMPRIDER 12/5/2011 8:21PM

    Thanks! I needed that!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JESSIEJUICE 12/5/2011 7:40PM

    Your attitude is AMAZING!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 12/5/2011 7:20PM

    Ouch! But thanks...I sure needed that kick in da pants!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TEMPEST272002 12/5/2011 7:16PM

    Great blog. I really is all a matter of perspective.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCHMAID 12/5/2011 3:33PM

    I needed that--just finished my calories for the day and it's only 3:30! I do much better if I can avoid breakfast till 10 a.m. : )

Report Inappropriate Comment

Will You Meet Me in the Middle?

Monday, November 28, 2011

I had a lovely Thanksgiving. And how 'bout yourself?

We did not go overboard, but one thing is clear - they don't sell small turkeys. I found the smallest one in the store, and it was still a good 12.7 pounds. This was for two people. Hence, we have many turkeyesque leftovers at home. But that's fine; it'll help to keep us going over the winter. There will be weeks when we want chicken soup - so we'll have turkey soup instead. It's all good.

The remainder was, as this holiday always is, painfully carb-centric. A yam (yes, just one, and sans seasoning, just nuked), mashed taters (also sans seasoning; I took very little of these as we have them every week so they are not a once a year treat), homemade cranberries (just an ounce or so of boiled berries with sugar, which is a necessity because otherwise I'd be puckering until 2057; the remainder were frozen), mixed veg, salad, smoothies, homemade stuffing (just cubed bread, chestnuts, sage, onion powder and it was tossed into the turkey pan drippings - probably the fattiest item on the menu. Maybe three ounces of this), and stuffed mushrooms (hollowed-out portabellos, the insides chopped with oyster mushrooms and mixed with a breading mix, then baked, no other seasoning. The breading mix was a bit salty. Again, around three ounces or so).

Aside from the turkey, we also have leftover stuffing (we'll freeze the remainder tonight). Everything else is gone.

Plus we walked/jogged every day of the long weekend, for over an hour each time, and I got writing done even though I did less cleaning/decrapifying than I had originally planned. I also winterized my closet and had good calls with the family.

All in all, I consider it to be a success.

Oh, and I gained 1.4 pounds.

Now, there are folks who would have totally led with that little tidbit. And it is well within their rights, of course.

But yanno something?

It is freakin' Thanksgiving.

As in, it comes but once a year (or at least it should). And, as you can see, we did not go overboard (notice there are no desserts? That's right; we didn't make any) and we worked out every day. 1.4 pounds is easily within the ping-ponging that I have now been doing for a couple of years.

I am past beating myself up over every blip on the scale. I would get upset if the holiday had been pie-centric. Or if the portions had been seconded and thirded in an endless stream of carbs and fat and salt. Or if we were planning on doing it all again tomorrow.

But it wasn't, and we're not.

Now, keep in mind that we do not celebrate Christmas. And Chanukah is not, aside from latkes, a huge foodie holiday. It is certainly not the feast that Christmas is.

So - guess what?

Life is grand. Most things went well. A few were less than ideal. But the world continues to spin and I am feeling pretty damned awesome about the whole weekend.

Except for the fact that I'm back at work today .... :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARCHMAID 12/4/2011 1:08PM

    Hugs and congrats for no self beat-ups!

Report Inappropriate Comment
VALERIEMAHA 11/29/2011 9:19AM

    Ah, yes...the venerable Middle Path. And skillfully you trod it, I say from my vantage point!

Report Inappropriate Comment
2WHEELEDSHARON 11/29/2011 7:23AM

Love that awesomeness!
If I hadn't renounced the scale from my life, I'd be a hot mess. I suppose I'm beyond a luke warm mess, but that's apparently part of the big long process. Thanks for that reminder!
Enjoy your week.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 11/28/2011 8:38PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 11/28/2011 7:43PM

    You and Mr. J did well. I did better than last year...nowhere as good as you...but better.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ARLENE_MOVES 11/28/2011 7:34PM

    That sounds like a great Thanksgiving! You done good lady!

I agree- dips, up or down on the scale are ok. Just not mountains!!!!!

Thanks for sharing your holiday -- I enjoyed reading it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CODYG123 11/28/2011 4:15PM

    Glad you had a good holiday, for four days. Here in the Great White North, Canada, we celebrated a three day Thanksgiving in the second week of October.

The holidays are such a food trap. I never could decide between bread and dessert, so I always had both. As weight can vary by 1kg in any part of any day, we never count that first kg. So, you did great to come in at .4 above.

So glad to hear you spent some time writing and/or rewriting. Yea you!

I'm so glad you found some time for writing. emoticon
And thanks for the tune ... such memories.

Comment edited on: 11/28/2011 4:15:42 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
ORGANIC811LFRV 11/28/2011 11:36AM

    You did great!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JOPAPGH 11/28/2011 11:03AM

    Two lbs up, including pie. No biggie. Just time to get back to moderation again

Report Inappropriate Comment
4A-HEALTHY-BMI 11/28/2011 10:37AM

    Heh. I gained 4 lbs. But I'm still under my Physicsdiet trend line, so I don't care. Besides, my apparent % body fat is dropping again. (probably just hydration due to more salt than usual)

And I got to kayak outdoors 3 times in the last week, so it's all good.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 11/28/2011 10:36AM

    The middle sounds like a sensible path to me...! I've given myself one more day before returning to work tomorrow.

Report Inappropriate Comment

You Never Call, Baby!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Well, sure ya do. So don't worry about that.

Anyway, here we are, Day 3 billion or so, on this journey.

I took a look at my weight for the past few months or so, and I have ping-ponged around. Truly, it ain't so bad when it comes to maintenance. I would like for it to be better but it is definitely within ranges. I know that I do the tracking, etc. I suspect that my exercise estimations are high and my food estimations are low. And that is the crux of it so there ya go.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, don't settle, etc. yes I know the drill, I have heard the drill, I have said the drill, I have recited the mantra. I do not need information.

I don't even need bun-kickage, so far as I can tell.

Right now, it's mainly me settling into a routine/the dark/knowing that things are going to be less than optimal for about another year.

I am truly, madly, deeply bored with work.

I know I have said this.

And yeah, I was out of work for nearly 2 years so I should be hopping on the Grateful Train. And it's not like, totally, I am off that train.

I like the fact that I have something focusing my days. I like that the commute is good, the people are lovely and my bank account and mortgage are doing what they are supposed to -- growing and shrinking in inverse proportions to each other. I like the fact that it is downtown and I see Mr. J and often friends from former work stints and we walk. That is all fab and a half.

It's the actual work part, folks.

Here's what I do.

I run database reports.

That is, a report is brought up on my screen, I check a few things (usually date parameters), I log in and I hit "process". In the meantime, I prepare the cover email (which is a template, but it needs to have the correct date put on it) and open the report template and change the date on it as well.

Once the report has run, I copy the results and paste them into the report template and sometimes into a part of the email or the like. I check things like margins and whether the graphs are working nicely and are pulling all of the data.

I step back, admire my work like the Reporting Goddess that I am, convert the report to PDF form, save it in the trillion and one places where it is supposed to be saved and then send out the email.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Over and over and over again.

You may be saying to yourself - where's the creativity in this?

There is none.

Where are the margins for error?

There are plenty. I have messed up dates, formatting and even corrupted a query once. I have forgotten attachments, too. About the only thing I have gotten right, on a truly consistent basis, is the distribution lists, and that's 'cause these are email templates so you can kinda set and forget 'em. Oh and I do things on the correct days because these are set in my calendar.

This is not through lack of competency.

It is through lack of interest.

The reports are going to be, at least partly, automated. This is because so much of this is at a stage that a trained seal could do it. I will not lose my gig when the reports are automated, for there will be other dull as dishwater reports to do by then. The ennui will abide.

I know, I know, I know!




Think I don't tell myself those things?

I hear that Greek Chorus from Hell every day these days.

It is settling that kinda, in a lotta ways, got me into this. Settling got me into my weight mess as well.

Not settling is going to get me out of both.

But in the meantime, I am on a contract, and I am here for another 12 months, possibly more if the newer software isn't installed on time. So I need to learn to live with it, and accept it and, if not love it, at least stop resisting it so damned much.

I need to redirect that resistence and that fury and that desire into doing for myself.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOPAPGH 11/28/2011 11:08AM

    Human batch job would be soul sucking. Is there any way you could help with automation or process redesign around some of this reporting?

Otherwise, abide and collect your pay until you find something better.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CODYG123 11/25/2011 10:47AM

    An escape could take a year to prepare. Don't give up. emoticonAnd thanks for the tune!

Comment edited on: 11/25/2011 11:51:31 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
4A-HEALTHY-BMI 11/23/2011 11:42AM

    What Don said.

Go Gurl! LIVE outside those 40 hrs...

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Oih. This is not good. Smart funny woman. How can it be that you are so stuck in boring work? Yeah I get all the stuff about how others would want your job. (Who was that exactly? I don't believe I have met them. Good luck to them.) Let's see...I guess there are isometric exercises. And the Zen of reports. One more good to add to the list of the benefits you listed is that you are not investing your soul in this gig. Maybe you can have some energy left over to write the great novel that you have in you. Provided this job is not deadening. Sending hugs.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 11/22/2011 9:05PM

    One of my fav songs of all times!

Who knows? Maybe you will learn to love it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KASEYCOFF 11/22/2011 4:18AM

    ...wouldn't it be great to have one of those 'treadmill desks' where you could do your walking and the reports at the same time? Now THAT would be a dream job--!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 11/21/2011 9:34PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
2WHEELEDSHARON 11/21/2011 7:32PM

    I would love to make a dull job of my weight loss, cut down on so much gravy on my train. Thanks for calling out my buttercups, too.

I have a friend in a similar quandary and I worry about her soul getting stuck in a hinge of her robot suit. But when I tell her that, she says her soul is always more slippery than she thinks and it will slide her into a little black dress just at the right time. Hmmm. I like the idea of finding fury! I hope I get to hear more about that!
I, on the other hand, would love to make a dull job of my weight loss, cut down on the buttercups and so much gravy on my train.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCHMAID 11/21/2011 2:49PM

    I get it. All of it. Hang in there kiddo. Life keeps happening when you aren't looking.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 11/21/2011 10:44AM

    You got your bread & butter job (or should we re-phrase it: yogurt and broccoli job? lol)...pays the bills and other cool things.

How about jumping into something more gratifying, fulfilling OUTSIDE of this job...?

I think that's how many of us survive work that becomes or already is mundane. Just my 2 cents...


Report Inappropriate Comment
AIRPEACH 11/21/2011 8:55AM

    "I need to redirect that resistence and that fury and that desire into doing for myself. "
Very well said! Thank you for the reminder.

Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 Last Page