JESPAH   190,560
150,000-199,999 SparkPoints
JESPAH's Recent Blog Entries

Our Goose is Cooked

Monday, October 17, 2011

This is going to be a bit of a mixed bag blog 'cause I don't have a central focus right now.

Topic Numbah One.

I am cold.

Well, not RIGHT now (as I am in the office), but this is nuts. Here it is, we are less than 2/3 of the way through October and all I can think of is, I hate this, I am miserably cold and we aren't even halfway through the autumn.

Now, some things are conspiring (but hear me out!) to keep me cold. One is, I could be wearing a warmer jacket. But I did that last year, and all that happened was that I was still cold, and then, when it got really bad and I was at Defcon-5 in terms of bundlage, I had nowhere to go, for months.

At some point, one gets too Eskimo-ey, and you end up looking 5' x 5' and are wearing a ski mask and hey, I suppose I could knock over a liquor store while I'm at it. Long as they've got heat.

So my plan for this year is to make the effort to stay strong as long as possible. Hence this morning, I had on a short-sleeve shirt, a long-sleeve moleskin shirt over it, a fiberfill vest, a pair of fiber-y fake-o pretend wool gloves, a pair of chinos, regular socks and regular sneakers. And I was cursing the day and thinking about how much I wanted my leather jacket. But I am trying to hold out for an under 50 degree morning for that, or November first, whichever comes first.


Yeah, yeah, yeah, I moved to New England voluntarily. And I love it here. But after losing a good 135 lbs. (and despite the fact that I still have a passel o' insulating fat), I am still freezing once the mercury goes below 60.

See, this is one of the things they don't tell you about losing a boatload o' weight - JUST HOW FREAKIN' COLD YOU WILL BECOME FOR THE REST OF YOUR *(CHILLY)* DAYS.

Don't tell me to chillax.

Every day is chill, babe.

Topic Numbah Two.

I am working now (I told everyone on the planet; I have little doubt that you are now sick of this), and the world of regular work is, still, a source of great amusement, mystery and fascination. I find the land o' cubicles to be captivating much of the time. Life's little observations, as it were.

Case in pernt.

This morning, I break out the NEW oatmeal. It is not much different from the old stuff, save that it comes in a nifty vertical pack to save space and it has some mild chocolate-y flavor. I am looking forward to this as I have a sad little life and need the excitement. I go to the coffee area (where, among other things, there is a cappuccino machine the size of Neptune that makes sounds like an aircraft carrier when it's engaged) and I begin to pour hot water into the acid green bowl (hey, it wakes me up!) and then I start pouring coffee into my big honkin' BU mug. I figure it is good coffee if it is named after some Third World Country (in this case, Sumatra).

And I must've been staring at the oatmeal a lil too long, as I am tired and I am zoning out, plus I am not yet caffeinated and the NEW oatmeal has larger oats than the old stuff and so it is not absorbing the water as quickly. I suppose I appeared contemplative.

So some dude I had never seen before comes over and says, "I can never get the amount of water, right, either." And I snap out of it and realize he is talking about the oatmeal. We begin discussing the fact that the only good way to eat oatmeal is if it is barely wet. Flavored wallpaper paste is my oatmealian Nirvana. The spoon MUST be able to stand up.

I go back to my desk (Note: Oatmeal Dude is kinda good-lookin') and I suddenly think, Was Oatmeal Dude hittin' on me?

I have no idear. Not that I care or anything (I am married, etc. and even a serious bonding experience over Splenda-flavored spackling will not make me jump ship or anything), but it did give me pause.

That was a few hours ago and since I never saw Oatmeal Dude before, and I have not seen him since, I am instead suspecting that this was a Sumatra coffee-fume-influenced fever dream and instead I was probably just talking to the cappuccino machine.

Topic Numbah Three.

There was a recent article, er, somewhere (perhaps in my fever dream) about what Steve Jobs can teach us all about the world o' work. And all I can think of is, now that the dude is dead, his name is gonna be used to invoke all sorts of stuff. Not that this was inaccurate or not nice or whatever, but I predict that, at some point, we will begin to see those awful chain letters with positive messages of hope that, if we break the chain WE WILL DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH INVOLVING SHOVELS.

But ... the article.

It said, among other lovely things, that one should do meaningful work.

And yeah, that's an awfully nice thing.

And I know people, here and elsewhere, who do awesome, meaningful work. They are nurses, they save the environment, they are teachers, they invent stuff, etc. etc. etc.

But yanno something?

Quite a few of us do things that are pretty dang mundane. This morning, I ran four database reports. Now, financial decisions will be made based upon my stuff (yes, the company I work for is more or less right in the gunsights of the Occupy movement - we see them nearby, every morning. There are often the sounds of singing coming from their lil encampment), but, really, c'mon, people! Empires will neither rise nor fall based upon my happy little database reports.

And yanno something?

It's all good.

And I don't mean that in a patronizing - "oh, it's okay that you're not important" kind of passive-agressive BS manner. No.

Instead, what I mean is, many of us do not make either the grand gestures or even the midrange gestures. We make small gestures. And those remain vital as well. Empires may neither rise nor fall, but we still help make the Earth turn.

We make your morning coffee. We drive your bus. We deliver your paper. We walk your dog. We fix your computer. We sell you your insurance. And yeah, we deliver database reports, too.

We are the fabric of life, just as surely as the heart surgeon and the astronaut and the soldier are. We are everyday Janes and Joes. I hesitate to use the phrase "everyday hero", as I feel it is overdone. But the finish line is the same for all.

And yeah, there's even an actual weight loss point in the midst of all of this Sumatra-fueled brain mixmaster detritus, so thick that you can stand up a spoon in it!

We all LOVE the grand gesture, the big thing. And big things are nice. They are happy things where we circle the date on our calendar and we burn it into our brains.

But the real work of weight loss, and of maintenance, is in the little gestures, the small moments. That piece of pie that goes untouched. The walk that is ten minutes longer. The heavier groceries that are carried. The water that is drunk instead of soda. It adds up, and it works.

And it is what makes our own, little, private Earths turn.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEE-KNEE 10/22/2011 7:09PM

    The cold is weird isn't it? The first year after I lost the first 100, it was painfully cold. Like my teeth would chatter and my bones hurt... strange. It's gotten better, but I live in CA where it rarely gets under 60 degrees.

And secondly, I have one of those emotionally rewarding jobs. I do behavior therapy with kids with autism. Those jobs pay crap... rich in emotional payback, but not enough to really live on. I like nice things... I need a MA just make a living wage in my field... Oh and I occasionally get bitten, scratched, and hit. :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYWEB555 10/22/2011 6:51AM

    I do so enjoy your writing ! So don't think that you don't add something to the pile. WE each do someting that is worthy of our taking up space here on Earth!

As for cold. Just think of it as another way of getting your metabolism to work harder at losing the weight! It takes calories burning to warm your body and those calores come from the fat that you have stored up ! Look at it from the bright side !

Thanks so much for sharing with us !

Report Inappropriate Comment

    You may me laugh and that is a gift in my life. Sorry kid. Nothin ordinary about you. It just aint so. And I am so glad to have you in my evenings.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MADERINERUE 10/18/2011 6:44PM

    You ARE a writer, Jess! This made me laugh out loud:

"I am instead suspecting that this was a Sumatra coffee-fume-influenced fever dream and instead I was probably just talking to the cappuccino machine."

Of COURSE dude was hitting on you. You are so funny and wise and interesting that everyone wants to stand next to you and talk about oatmeal. I know I do!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KINSBAILE 10/18/2011 9:54AM

    You should be a writer :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLCRC 10/18/2011 8:56AM

    Loved your blog. As a fellow database report geek - it spoke to me.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DMPRIDER 10/18/2011 12:01AM

    Thanks for the reminder that we are all part of the fabric of life even if we aren't making the grand gesture or saving the world etc. And thanks too for the reminder that the little things add up in weight loss efforts too. Both good things to be reminded of, so again, thanks.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 10/17/2011 7:18PM

    #1 I'm cold all the time too...and I live in Florida. The downside of being a skinny betch.

#2 That was great fun to read! I love your writing!

#3 We ALL, great and small, make the word go round. And yes, with weight loss, that seeming small stuff counts more than I'm sure I realize. Thanks for the reminder.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ARLENE_MOVES 10/17/2011 7:13PM

    Neat read - love reading your blogs - so human! You are human right -- yea, you have to be to love Bostons so much. Have you gotten one yet? Hope so, it would really make you happy!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
4A-HEALTHY-BMI 10/17/2011 3:58PM

    Oh man. I was SO COLD yesterday while on the river kayaking. Yes I had long underwear on under my dry suit. But oh man. It is that damp sort of cold that crawls up your spine, chills your core, and stays there. Screw being strong. I'm putting on more layers. And I don't care if I look like the Michelin Man, ready to knock over a gas station. LOL

And yeah, the little things can even add up to big things, so yay little things.

Comment edited on: 10/17/2011 4:00:03 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
JOPAPGH 10/17/2011 3:56PM

    Were those the TPS reports? Did you get your own red stapler? If you never saw "Office Space", nevermind.

I love that Bostonians drop all kinds of "R"s ("party" = "PAH-DEE"), then add then where they don't exist ("idear")

And you are right: the day to day mucking and grinding is what leads to successful weight loss and maintenance.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 10/17/2011 3:42PM

    True, true enough...! Feeling the cold here too...BUT: I hate wearing any more clothes than necessary and am willing to put up with the cold. Yesterday's bike ride I was the ONLY ONE in shorts & T-shirt...everyone thought I was crazy...including MYSELF when the wind was!


Report Inappropriate Comment
MIIMA-ME-MY 10/17/2011 12:41PM

    I know how you feel about the cold in New England... Freezing my Mediterranean self to the bones every winter... brrrr

Gaining weight for the cold season is like a life-saving thing; preparation for winter means adding a layer of fat, hopefully a thin one you can get rid of easily in the spring... emoticon

That's what I have been doing for years now...

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 10/17/2011 11:15AM

    You sound like you are doing good.

Report Inappropriate Comment
VEEJAY3 10/17/2011 11:14AM

    As always, I love to follow your quirky, smart brain around when you're pensive. RE Topic #3 ... have you ever read The Fred Factor? I heard the author speak once (and Fred, himself, was in the audience!) ... it's about doing whatEVER you do -- even if you're a cleaning lady, a postman (as is Fred) or Steve Jobs, with passion.


Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCHMAID 10/17/2011 11:05AM

    You may be certifiable. Or at least certifiably amusing. Bundle up and enjoy October. The best month of the year in my book. ; )

Report Inappropriate Comment
VALERIEMAHA 10/17/2011 10:41AM loves your MIND!!! emoticon

My but Sumatra has quite a following it seems. Sumatra Dark Roast Organic is my bean of choice because it is particularly low acid but HIGH on flavor!

Report Inappropriate Comment
VANYELMOON 10/17/2011 10:33AM

    Nicely put and quite amusing. Thanks for waking me up! I think I'll have one more cup of Sumatra :)

Report Inappropriate Comment

What's in your Mind

Monday, October 10, 2011

Right now, there's not much in mine. I have a lovely cold, first one of the season. This is, in part, related to the temperatures wildly fluctuating recently. It's also due to the stress/lifestyle change of starting a new job. My sleep schedule is different, my foods are different (albeit good), my exercise is different, my clothes are different. You get the picture. Differences, in my life, abound.

I had a talk with my folks relatively recently. They are considering moving, and have found a good, suitable place (my father is eighty; my mother is not too far behind). And ... suddenly there is a lot less enthusiasm for the move. I don't know if it's that they've run out of gas. I suppose that is a part of it.

But another piece of it is a resistance to the changes. The place will be smaller. They will be in another section of town - which means distance from some friends. Shopping will be different. Etc. etc. etc. on and on, changes, big and small.

And, well, YEAH. Things are going to change. For better or for worse, they are going to change. And they are going to change whether that change is desired or not. A choice is made, even when no choice is made. Instead, it becomes a passive choice, an acceptance, perhaps, but also inaction.

Just because they, perhaps, do not move, or do not move with gladness in their hearts, does not mean that moving stops being a good idea. It does not mean that time ceases in its endless march.

And the same is true for all of us.

As we step along, we can choose to be healthy, and do the right things, or not, or we can sit around and let life happen to us.

It is often a lot easier to just let life happen to us. And as we go along, and it's a chore to climb stairs or walk a mile, we shrug and say to ourselves things like ~

* That's just how life is
* I'm not meant to be at a healthy weight
* It's my bone structure/my genetics/my mother/my horoscope/whatever that is to blame
* C'est la vie; I'll fix it later

And later never comes. Or, if it does come - as is in my own case, BTW - it is so much harder, for we are older, and that makes the gradient that much steeper, and we have gained more weight, which makes the road that much longer.

And it's so hard to eat right, or drink the water, and we shrug and say things to ourselves like ~

* I'll only have a little bit - but that bit isn't so little
* I can't drink that much water! I can't live in the bathroom
* Only 400 calories for a meal? I can't live this way!
* I'm a junk food junkie. Don't take away my burgers and fries!
* The kids' Halloween candy doesn't count because it's their candy, right?
* If I don't track it, it's like I never had it, right?

And on and on, in these seemingly endless circles of denial. And I understand some of it, or at least some degrees of it. I get the thing about the bathroom - so the answer is to do your best to spread out the water, and it won't be so bad. And you'll get used to it (Really!). I understand the 400 calories thing. It can feel like deprivation when you are getting started. But you will get used to that as well. And you will get used to eating better foods as you go along, too. You become used to what you do. Continue eating junk and you'll never get used to eating right, and eating less. But eat less, and eat better food, and you will start to actually CRAVE it.

Resisting doing well for yourself is not harming anyone but you.

Complaining about what you need to do is not getting you anywhere.

Cheating on the tracking, the weight training, the water drinking or anything else is not somehow fooling the rest of us. We are watching, a little, but, frankly, we're doing our own things, yanno. And we are not weighing and measuring how you are living YOUR life. Ultimately, you have to do well for yourself, and be honest with yourself, and face up to what you are or are not doing for YOURSELF.

The rest of it is noise.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ERIN1022 10/16/2011 11:25PM

    This post ROCKS and gave me a needed kick in the pants!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TEENY_BIKINI 10/16/2011 5:11PM

    Sorry to hear about your cold. I guess it's just that time of year.

Great blog. Thanks for the insight.


Report Inappropriate Comment
TELERIE 10/13/2011 9:29AM

    You're so right!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DMPRIDER 10/12/2011 10:18PM

    Thanks for the reality check!

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Wow was this in time for me. Great Blog. Great reminders.

Sorry you are sick. But you are productive. That is for sure.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCHMAID 10/12/2011 6:19PM

    Let's here it for Caroliscious and the salad goody cravings!

Maybe that should be the new Nun thread: Nuns do it with salad! Let us count the ways and ingredients. : )

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 10/11/2011 9:57AM

    Count on Jes to tell it like it is...! Love your "ultimately" sentence!

Thx for being there...


Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 10/10/2011 7:38PM

    I have to disagree with your first sentence. After reading this, there is a LOT in your mind. You are SO right. Excuses keep you fat. And I totally CRAVE my nightly salad...and I love planning all the wonderful healthy things I can add to a bowl of lettuce!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BLUEANGELLK 10/10/2011 1:23PM

    So true... so true....

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 10/10/2011 1:10PM

    Ok OK I guess I need to stop making noises and do something constructive

Report Inappropriate Comment
JOPAPGH 10/10/2011 12:28PM

    Congratulations on the new job and ensuing life changes.

I am fighting my first cough/cold. I blame recycled airplane air on a transcontinental flight back from San Diego.

Hope this passes soon; I run my first marathon in less than two weeks.

Report Inappropriate Comment

No One's Gonna Drag You Up to Get into the Light Where You Belong

Monday, October 03, 2011

Okay, so I realize this group was, like, the '90s version of ABBA, but I don't care. I like the song's pseudo-reggae beat. And I kinda like the lyric I quoted in this blog title.

It's week #2 of work. And this is not a huge deal by any means. I have been through this drill many, many times before. It's funny how you can get right back into the groove with very little preparation or mental psyching. Hey, I know how to do this! And now I'm moving in and just doing it. There's lots to learn but the basics, to me, are simple. Competency returns with very little fanfare.

And yanno ...

We restart weight loss all the time. Don't we?

And most of us have the information, and we remember it. Or it's a small thing to be reminded and then - yeah, that's right! - and we are ready to go. At least, intellectually, we are.

Now, this is not to say that certain information is never proven wrong, or is never hidden. There are plenty of diet traps out there in Restaurant Land. Companies LIE.



We see this all the time. Some terms are regulated; others are not. So we see all sorts of stuff on menus and it's not necessarily good for us at all.

That information is helpful. Personally, I often read the Spark Showdowns although I believe that, often, some of it is reaching. Telling me that an 800-calorie appetizer is the better choice is, well, silly. I eat about 2 1/2 times that amount of calories in a DAY. I am not about to blow that much of my diet budget on a stupid appetizer.

But I digress.

My real point in all of this is that most of this is not about the information.





It is not about information. It is about motivation.

You need to be able to make your choices with confidence. You need to be able to say no with conviction, if something is presented that is no good for you. You need to split out your time and your energy and find a way to do things for yourself, because God knows most of the people here find time to do for others.

No one can teach you motivation, I'm sorry to say. It is a far different animal.

All that can be done by the management of Spark is to give you information. And here on the blogs, what we, your peers, can do is, we can share our own motivations, in the hopes that you find a way to siphon off a little of it, and cobble it together into something that works for you. Or we share our triumphs. Or our frustrations, or our sorrows. Or our setbacks. And, the hope is, you see something in there, and it drives your motivation, or it pumps some gas into that tank. Or, perhaps, it just begins to point you in the right direction. But you will get there when you get there.

This race does not go to the swiftest or the strongest, even as we are all attempting to become swifter and stronger. It goes to the one who is in the light, and who tries to shine that light on others. But we all climb up in there on our own.

As the song says, no one's gonna drag you up.

You have to get there on your own.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IFDEEVARUNS2 10/4/2011 5:01PM

    Yes, you have to get there on your own. Time for me to get moving!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAB-LOVER 10/4/2011 6:47AM

    This is a great blog -- to paraphrase Craig Harper "we're not lacking in information about how to succeed...we're more educated than at any time in history... and more fat!" We know exactly WHAT to do, we just don't do it.

I'm gonna carry this little ditty in my head this week and will the scale downward!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCHMAID 10/3/2011 11:50PM

    Amen. As Miss Scarlett noted in another context: ". . . . Tomorrow is another day!"

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Great motivation Jes, thanks. And great to see you back in the groove. Yay Jes

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 10/3/2011 8:50PM

    Thanks for all the motivation from you,JES...

Report Inappropriate Comment
VALERIEMAHA 10/3/2011 10:33AM


We REALLY need to take control of our health through radical life-style adjustments! Thanks for this attention call.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LESS_IS_MO 10/3/2011 9:38AM

    Amen. Thanks for the sharing your light! Great!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 10/3/2011 9:25AM

    Yep we are the one that has to do it.And staying motivated is so hard for me when life gets in the way

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 10/3/2011 9:24AM

    One source of motivation for me which I tap into when at grocery stores and restaurants (sometimes more successfully than others...!) is Fighting Corporate Control of Our Bodies!


You are SO RIGHT re: LIE LIKE RUGS IN ORDER TO GET YOU TO EAT THEIR FOOD! And of course "THEIR FOOD" is using the term WAY loosely! Don't know if we should dignify it by calling it food!

If only they could be so devious about motivating us to eat truly TERRIFIC FOOD!


Comment edited on: 10/3/2011 9:24:44 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment

The Time to Rise Has Been Engaged

Monday, September 26, 2011

Tomorrow, I go back to work. Things are delayed for a day because the silly drug test last week was delayed by a day (the testing center's computer was down. Sheesh!).

No worries - it's kinda nice to have an extra day to myself, knowing that I am actually going to be making some money, and soon. See, that's the thing - I've had people say to me - isn't it great being out of work? You can do what you please!

Er, no, you can't. You should be watching your pennies. And there are few people to hang out with, anyway (and you should be networking with 'em, not hanging out and watching interminable reruns).

I feel it's a bit like that, in terms of having lost a boatload of weight already. Oh, you can relax! You've already lost over 100 pounds! The rest should be easy, right? You already look radically different!

Well, heh, yes, THAT particular mountain has already been climbed, true. But it does not mean that suddenly life is a festival of hangin' out and doin' nothin', or I'll be right back there. And, by the way, it also does not mean that exercise is easy. It is less painful, yes. I don't have the huge pain afterwards unless I've done a 5K or something comparably strenuous. These days, I pretty routinely walk for about 80 minutes, usually for around 3 1/4 - 3 1/2 miles. I don't need recovery time from such things anymore. But I've still gotta get out and do 'em.

It's funny.

So many of us have no problem (well, we probably grumble about it) getting up and going to work in pouring rain, or when we don't feel like it, etc. Now, we may take a mental health day here and there. But the bottom line is that we usually get up and get out there and do it.

Why is it so hard to do that with our health? Why does a drop of rain, or a little feeling that we don't feel like it, or the promise of almost any kind of alternate activity, derail the good intentions of so many of us?

When it's pouring rain, and we have to go to work, what do we do? Oh, we may want to stick our heads under the covers and return to Dreamland. But we suck it up, and we grab an umbrella and we go.

Grab an umbrella (or its equivalent) and solve the problem that's holding you back, and GO. YOU are just as important as the Holbrook account, as the Davis report, as the patient in Room 123, right? RIGHT?

You are your own most important project.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VALERIEMAHA 9/28/2011 11:31AM

    "You are your own most important project." Huh? Oh really...oh yeah, that's RIGHT. Why do I keep FORGETTING that Most.Important.Truth??? Denial? Dementia? Self-sabotage? Lethargy? WHATEVAH! It just ain't acceptable, none'a it!

You know how to cap it, sistah! Thanks, as usual,

Report Inappropriate Comment
DAISYBELL6 9/28/2011 10:36AM

    Thank you for your timely blog!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 9/28/2011 9:49AM

    Do I EVER hear you Jes! re: "Why is it so hard to do that with our health?"

Am making a major re-committment, getting back to what works...big blog today.

Thx as ever for sharing your wisdom!


Report Inappropriate Comment
STRINGS58 9/28/2011 6:20AM

    I've been a little off track -- and i haven't been putting my exercise goals or that part of my health first, and I'm missing it! I'm hoping to turn it around today and I read your blog -- What an excellent kick in the "do it"! I really needed to hear your brain today!

Our boys are neck and neck emoticon We have a Boston fan in the orchestra and baseball was the topic of discussion during our concert intermission break. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LESS_IS_MO 9/27/2011 9:34AM

    I hope your work day (which is now today) is going great!

I am my most important project. I like that. Good attitude which could help keep us focused.

My husband, who is a physician, has a great outlook on life most of the time. I think his attitude is cultivated partly by seeing people with real, serious, debilitating problems every day without a day off from that that keeps him feeling lucky and grateful.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MALCONTENTION 9/26/2011 10:46PM

    Good luck at your new job!!!!!! I'm SO happy you're going to be back at it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 9/26/2011 9:23PM

    The absolute truth, JES...and I love that last paragraph. I need to show up for my work out for ME...just like I show up for my employer every day. I will never look at an umbrella the same!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NVDONNA 9/26/2011 3:55PM

    So true. I get up everyday and go to work,,, wishing I could stay in bed,,but ultimately getting up and going, why? Because it's the right thing to do,,I need the $$,,, and doing what is expected of me. Yet, I come home and think about exercising, and so easily blow it off. If only someone would pay me to exercise!! Well, that's not gonna happen, so I need to expect it of myself, and do the right thing. Get off my tush and just suck it up and do it!

Oh,,,and best of luck at your new job! You'll be great!!

Comment edited on: 9/26/2011 3:56:09 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
KASEYCOFF 9/26/2011 2:00PM

    Great comparison - and really good insights! I'm adding it to my 'keep' file...

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 9/26/2011 11:09AM

    Well said as usual. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCHMAID 9/26/2011 10:30AM

    As I'm complicating my life starting a 6 month consulting gig next week on top of all I do or having been doing and must alter, I hear you.

So, I'm adding more exercise, beginning yoga instruction, continuing helping with the two new grandkids, going to New Orleans for five days of vacation but lessening my involvement on boards and committees. They will have to learn to do without me--and it's going to be better for the organizations in the long run!

I'm channelling the tune from My Fair Lady: "without you turning it the earth will spin. . . . "

Report Inappropriate Comment
VALERIEMAHA 9/26/2011 10:05AM

    Your wisdom, my friend, NEVER ceases to amaze me!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANGELOO29 9/26/2011 7:56AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
LAB-LOVER 9/26/2011 7:50AM

    Amen Sister! Good luck tomorrow. I am no fan of the "first day on the job" when you can't find anything, do anything and feel like two left thumbs. But you'll be in the swing in no time at all! And put those exercise dates on your calendar! Bet you're the fittest one in the place!

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Oh my goodness you nailed it. Are we really as important as all that? Is exercise and wellness care really as important...more important...than Work? Maybe i could pay myself to exercise and eat well. Hey. There is a notion.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHRISTINECAN 9/26/2011 7:35AM

    You are right on the just do it thing. But I so hear you on being out of work and being able to get back to it. Always such a Catch 22: if you're working you can buy hobby supplies but have no time to do them; if you're not, all the time in the world but can't spend the money!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Inside Myself and My Own Mind

Monday, September 19, 2011

I had a rather mixed week recently.

Because of getting a job, people suddenly want to see me/us. This is nice, but I was out of work for over a year and a half. I suppose now I have optimistic things to talk about. Shrug. It's fine and I don't begrudge it. It's just that I do actually have to get my act in gear for the job. Some of that work takes longer than other aspects. But doing it does take time or, like today, it involves distance (I am going to Worcester today to wrap up most of my stuff with the 'bot boys).

First, my folks came up, so before that we were in a frenzy of cleaning. Cleaning, of course, needs/needed to be done, but it was a lot to do. Then they got here, and we were both reminded of, well, the changes that are occurring. Don't want to say anymore.

Then on the weekend we went to a friend's (she used to be my boss a good seven years ago) house for a gathering of the people we used to work with (we meaning me and my colleagues; my husband never worked there). That was great fun, with a LOT of laughing but we stayed a LONG time, and I ended up leaving with swollen tonsils that are not yet gone. Whether that was from talking (there was no alcohol at the party) or fatigue or allergies, I have no idea. I have the two hour each way drive to Worcester today, and that is not going to do my tonsils any favors.

I need to stay in bed, or at least close to home, and rest. Plus I need to cook stuff in preparation for not only next week (which is supposed to be when I start working) but for later as well. Oh and I will need to have the plumber come in, and deal with (and pay for) all of that.

Plus somewhere in there I am supposed to get a drug test for this job. No one has even contacted me to schedule it. So that is yet another unnecessary source of stress.

It feels precarious, this job, as if by "forgetting" (I will call them tomorrow if I don't hear anything by the end of business today) to schedule the drug test, they are telling me something about being hired, that it's a will o' the wisp.

I know that that is not true, of course, but it doesn't help matters one iota.

So I feel turned around, and twisted. Things are going to fall into place. I know this intellectually. But I am still feeling like something is nagging at me. I don't suppose anyone else has ever welcomed a drug screening as much as I will once the stupid thing is scheduled.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLISCIOUS 9/21/2011 9:22PM

    I like FIT_TERI's advice...list making really helps me. This is a new beginning...resulting stress is a given. And that on the heels of the toddler parents visiting...leaves a lot on your mind I'm sure.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARCHMAID 9/20/2011 5:09AM

    Always something, huh? I've got a busy couple of weeks ahead and then am starting a new consulting gig. I get the stress thing, believe me.

I think that if I can stay on track for two weeks I'll be OK. This will be hard as two chubby friends from Michigan are visiting starting tomorrow for three days. Food will be a focus if I let it. Can't. Tracking and planning must be the focus.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FIT_TERI 9/19/2011 9:03PM

    Jes, I can so relate to the uncertainty you describe about not hearing about the drug test. When I stay too long inside my own head, I can invent very many (usually poor) outcomes to almost any situation. I'm sure the scheduler is just busy.

Make yourself a list, and start checking things off. Get done what you can. Maybe your hubby can help with the to-do list? He seems to me to be a very reasonable and helpful guy....sometimes, well in my case, they just need to be asked (told?).

Try to get some rest, too, so that you're feeling better when you start the new


Report Inappropriate Comment
TELERIE 9/19/2011 4:36PM

    It will all work out and you'll get into a groove. Hugs. Breathe!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MS.ELENI 9/19/2011 10:50AM

    My head is spinning reading all you have to do. i know yours must be too. But you will get thru all this and then you can relax.

Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 Last Page