JESPAH   174,252
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JESPAH's Recent Blog Entries

The Time to Rise Has Been Engaged

Monday, September 26, 2011

www.youtube.com/watch?v=559eWB93jW4

Tomorrow, I go back to work. Things are delayed for a day because the silly drug test last week was delayed by a day (the testing center's computer was down. Sheesh!).

No worries - it's kinda nice to have an extra day to myself, knowing that I am actually going to be making some money, and soon. See, that's the thing - I've had people say to me - isn't it great being out of work? You can do what you please!

Er, no, you can't. You should be watching your pennies. And there are few people to hang out with, anyway (and you should be networking with 'em, not hanging out and watching interminable reruns).

I feel it's a bit like that, in terms of having lost a boatload of weight already. Oh, you can relax! You've already lost over 100 pounds! The rest should be easy, right? You already look radically different!

Well, heh, yes, THAT particular mountain has already been climbed, true. But it does not mean that suddenly life is a festival of hangin' out and doin' nothin', or I'll be right back there. And, by the way, it also does not mean that exercise is easy. It is less painful, yes. I don't have the huge pain afterwards unless I've done a 5K or something comparably strenuous. These days, I pretty routinely walk for about 80 minutes, usually for around 3 1/4 - 3 1/2 miles. I don't need recovery time from such things anymore. But I've still gotta get out and do 'em.

It's funny.

So many of us have no problem (well, we probably grumble about it) getting up and going to work in pouring rain, or when we don't feel like it, etc. Now, we may take a mental health day here and there. But the bottom line is that we usually get up and get out there and do it.

Why is it so hard to do that with our health? Why does a drop of rain, or a little feeling that we don't feel like it, or the promise of almost any kind of alternate activity, derail the good intentions of so many of us?

When it's pouring rain, and we have to go to work, what do we do? Oh, we may want to stick our heads under the covers and return to Dreamland. But we suck it up, and we grab an umbrella and we go.

Grab an umbrella (or its equivalent) and solve the problem that's holding you back, and GO. YOU are just as important as the Holbrook account, as the Davis report, as the patient in Room 123, right? RIGHT?

You are your own most important project.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VALERIEMAHA 9/28/2011 11:31AM

    "You are your own most important project." Huh? Oh really...oh yeah, that's RIGHT. Why do I keep FORGETTING that Most.Important.Truth??? Denial? Dementia? Self-sabotage? Lethargy? WHATEVAH! It just ain't acceptable, none'a it!

You know how to cap it, sistah! Thanks, as usual,
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Maha
P.S. WHY DO I notNOTnot HAVE THE OPTION TO "LIKE" THIS BLOG?????? Huh???

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DAISYBELL6 9/28/2011 10:36AM

    Thank you for your timely blog!

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DDOORN 9/28/2011 9:49AM

    Do I EVER hear you Jes! re: "Why is it so hard to do that with our health?"

Am making a major re-committment, getting back to what works...big blog today.

Thx as ever for sharing your wisdom!

Don

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STRINGS58 9/28/2011 6:20AM

    I've been a little off track -- and i haven't been putting my exercise goals or that part of my health first, and I'm missing it! I'm hoping to turn it around today and I read your blog -- What an excellent kick in the "do it"! I really needed to hear your brain today!

Our boys are neck and neck emoticon We have a Boston fan in the orchestra and baseball was the topic of discussion during our concert intermission break. emoticon

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LESS_IS_MO 9/27/2011 9:34AM

    I hope your work day (which is now today) is going great!

I am my most important project. I like that. Good attitude which could help keep us focused.

My husband, who is a physician, has a great outlook on life most of the time. I think his attitude is cultivated partly by seeing people with real, serious, debilitating problems every day without a day off from that that keeps him feeling lucky and grateful.



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MALCONTENTION 9/26/2011 10:46PM

    Good luck at your new job!!!!!! I'm SO happy you're going to be back at it!

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CAROLISCIOUS 9/26/2011 9:23PM

    The absolute truth, JES...and I love that last paragraph. I need to show up for my work out for ME...just like I show up for my employer every day. I will never look at an umbrella the same!

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NVDONNA 9/26/2011 3:55PM

    So true. I get up everyday and go to work,,, wishing I could stay in bed,,but ultimately getting up and going, why? Because it's the right thing to do,,I need the $$,,, and doing what is expected of me. Yet, I come home and think about exercising, and so easily blow it off. If only someone would pay me to exercise!! Well, that's not gonna happen, so I need to expect it of myself, and do the right thing. Get off my tush and just suck it up and do it!

Oh,,,and best of luck at your new job! You'll be great!!

Comment edited on: 9/26/2011 3:56:09 PM

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KASEYCOFF 9/26/2011 2:00PM

    Great comparison - and really good insights! I'm adding it to my 'keep' file...
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MS.ELENI 9/26/2011 11:09AM

    Well said as usual. emoticon

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MARCHMAID 9/26/2011 10:30AM

    As I'm complicating my life starting a 6 month consulting gig next week on top of all I do or having been doing and must alter, I hear you.

So, I'm adding more exercise, beginning yoga instruction, continuing helping with the two new grandkids, going to New Orleans for five days of vacation but lessening my involvement on boards and committees. They will have to learn to do without me--and it's going to be better for the organizations in the long run!

I'm channelling the tune from My Fair Lady: "without you turning it the earth will spin. . . . "

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VALERIEMAHA 9/26/2011 10:05AM

    Your wisdom, my friend, NEVER ceases to amaze me!
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Maha

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ANGELOO29 9/26/2011 7:56AM

    Woohoo!

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LAB-LOVER 9/26/2011 7:50AM

    Amen Sister! Good luck tomorrow. I am no fan of the "first day on the job" when you can't find anything, do anything and feel like two left thumbs. But you'll be in the swing in no time at all! And put those exercise dates on your calendar! Bet you're the fittest one in the place!

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QUEENOTHEFOREST 9/26/2011 7:36AM

    Oh my goodness you nailed it. Are we really as important as all that? Is exercise and wellness care really as important...more important...than Work? Maybe i could pay myself to exercise and eat well. Hey. There is a notion.

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CHRISTINECAN 9/26/2011 7:35AM

    You are right on the just do it thing. But I so hear you on being out of work and being able to get back to it. Always such a Catch 22: if you're working you can buy hobby supplies but have no time to do them; if you're not, all the time in the world but can't spend the money!

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Inside Myself and My Own Mind

Monday, September 19, 2011

www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0llX0fEtks&
feature=related


I had a rather mixed week recently.

Because of getting a job, people suddenly want to see me/us. This is nice, but I was out of work for over a year and a half. I suppose now I have optimistic things to talk about. Shrug. It's fine and I don't begrudge it. It's just that I do actually have to get my act in gear for the job. Some of that work takes longer than other aspects. But doing it does take time or, like today, it involves distance (I am going to Worcester today to wrap up most of my stuff with the 'bot boys).

First, my folks came up, so before that we were in a frenzy of cleaning. Cleaning, of course, needs/needed to be done, but it was a lot to do. Then they got here, and we were both reminded of, well, the changes that are occurring. Don't want to say anymore.

Then on the weekend we went to a friend's (she used to be my boss a good seven years ago) house for a gathering of the people we used to work with (we meaning me and my colleagues; my husband never worked there). That was great fun, with a LOT of laughing but we stayed a LONG time, and I ended up leaving with swollen tonsils that are not yet gone. Whether that was from talking (there was no alcohol at the party) or fatigue or allergies, I have no idea. I have the two hour each way drive to Worcester today, and that is not going to do my tonsils any favors.

I need to stay in bed, or at least close to home, and rest. Plus I need to cook stuff in preparation for not only next week (which is supposed to be when I start working) but for later as well. Oh and I will need to have the plumber come in, and deal with (and pay for) all of that.

Plus somewhere in there I am supposed to get a drug test for this job. No one has even contacted me to schedule it. So that is yet another unnecessary source of stress.

It feels precarious, this job, as if by "forgetting" (I will call them tomorrow if I don't hear anything by the end of business today) to schedule the drug test, they are telling me something about being hired, that it's a will o' the wisp.

I know that that is not true, of course, but it doesn't help matters one iota.

So I feel turned around, and twisted. Things are going to fall into place. I know this intellectually. But I am still feeling like something is nagging at me. I don't suppose anyone else has ever welcomed a drug screening as much as I will once the stupid thing is scheduled.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLISCIOUS 9/21/2011 9:22PM

    I like FIT_TERI's advice...list making really helps me. This is a new beginning...resulting stress is a given. And that on the heels of the toddler parents visiting...leaves a lot on your mind I'm sure.

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MARCHMAID 9/20/2011 5:09AM

    Always something, huh? I've got a busy couple of weeks ahead and then am starting a new consulting gig. I get the stress thing, believe me.

I think that if I can stay on track for two weeks I'll be OK. This will be hard as two chubby friends from Michigan are visiting starting tomorrow for three days. Food will be a focus if I let it. Can't. Tracking and planning must be the focus.

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FIT_TERI 9/19/2011 9:03PM

    Jes, I can so relate to the uncertainty you describe about not hearing about the drug test. When I stay too long inside my own head, I can invent very many (usually poor) outcomes to almost any situation. I'm sure the scheduler is just busy.

Make yourself a list, and start checking things off. Get done what you can. Maybe your hubby can help with the to-do list? He seems to me to be a very reasonable and helpful guy....sometimes, well in my case, they just need to be asked (told?).

Try to get some rest, too, so that you're feeling better when you start the new
job.

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TELERIE 9/19/2011 4:36PM

    It will all work out and you'll get into a groove. Hugs. Breathe!

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MS.ELENI 9/19/2011 10:50AM

    My head is spinning reading all you have to do. i know yours must be too. But you will get thru all this and then you can relax.

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I'd Pull One Down For You

Monday, September 12, 2011

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmsLQFqdiQE

Well, I got a lovely 49th birthday present, one week late, on the 9th.

I got a job.

Now, it is pending a drug test (I will test positive for Claritin and Unithroid - oh no!) and a background check. Undoubtedly I'll be Googled. Hey, they'll find my weight loss pics on Facebook. Maybe some investigator type will join Spark.

Hey, the Spark's spread in mysterious ways ....

I'll probably start the last week in September although it might be the first week in October. I have no idea how long drug tests and whatnot take. In the meantime, among other things, I need to shop for workety-work-type clothes. I am definitely up a size, possibly two, since I was buying networking clothes. Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, you're not supposed to buy larger sized stuff. You're supposed to lose the weight.

I get that.

I also need decent clothes to wear to this serious corporate job where I will often see the President of the company, and I need them RIGHT NOW.

This is a company of some 20,000 people, a far cry from the four-person startup I am currently at. It is a long-term temp role until the end of calendar year 2012. It cannot be renewed, as the job (and a lot of others) is going to the Southern United States (no specifics, please). I will be looking for work again in a year.

But until then, money will be made, my retirement fund will go back to increasing instead of being in a steady state, and I will do everything in my power to reduce our mortgage debt even more by the end of '12. We are currently, we figure, a little under 4 years until the mortgage is completely paid off. If this employment stint can reduce that time by half or more, that will be terrific. We'll save most of the rest of my salary. I don't intend to live high on the hog although Mr. J and I will try to meet for lunch 2x/week. His office is about 20 minutes away, so it is very possible.

Oh yeah, what am I gonna be doing?

It's a data analysis job. Products are sold by this big honkin' financial services company. The company needs to know how they're trending, what works and what doesn't. Plus the company is transitioning over to a new reporting tool (which I would learn) and people will need help making new reports, and there will be QA work as the transition progresses. There will also be relationship building in order to assure that the maximum number of people are happily cooperating. The reports need to be streamlined, made uniform, documented and gotten organized.

All of this is right up my OCD Virgo mind's alley.

As for social media, I am not out of it, not by a long shot. After all, I will need to find a job in a year. But right now this is a rather comfortable landing during that interim as, hopefully, the economy improves so my reentry into the ranks of the unemployed is shorter and easier in '13. Perhaps that will be a lucky year, eh?

So - thank you all. You helped me change MY world.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KASEYCOFF 9/13/2011 3:59PM

    You go, sunshine! Sounds like it's a great match, and I just know you'll be great with it! Re clothes: I agree with you about buying larger, as sometimes it's a case of 'needs must.' But would it be worth your time to look thru some of the charity shops? You might find a few good outfits for the office, and spend far less as you work your way back down clothing-wise...
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MS.ELENI 9/13/2011 11:51AM

    emoticon emoticon You are going to do great.

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MARCHMAID 9/13/2011 10:06AM

    Just wanted to add my formal and hearty congrats to those from the throngs of admirers. ; )

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CAROLISCIOUS 9/12/2011 8:37PM

    Congrats on the new employment situation! I've really admired you through all this...you took a rough situation and made it as positive as possible.

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SWEETZMIX 9/12/2011 7:44PM

    emoticon

And no one wants to buy larger sizes. When I changed positions I realized I needed to face the facts b/c I needed clothes NOW. If you want to keep the job until the end you have to be decent. Hopefully you can find some items on SALE!

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TEMPEST272002 9/12/2011 7:18PM

    Congrats on the new job! Don't feel bad when buying the larger sizes. It is what is it & you deserve to look professional no matter what size you're currently at.

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VALERIEMAHA 9/12/2011 6:07PM

    That is just such damned good news. I'm in the same holding pattern you've been in, job-seeking with nothing shaking out.

Doin' the happy dance (aloha-style)!
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Maha

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FIT_TERI 9/12/2011 10:42AM

    That's terrific news!! Congratulations!!!!

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IFDEEVARUNS2 9/12/2011 9:54AM

    Woohoo! And you totally deserve to get nice clothes that fit NOW!

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QUEENOTHEFOREST 9/12/2011 8:47AM

    Yahoo and congrats. Sounds like you have a great plan. And the pieces are lining up. I have a feeling that getting back into a routine will also renew your weight loss efforts. Nothing like structure! Anyhow. Great news Jes.

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TELERIE 9/12/2011 8:31AM

    Oh this made my day, Janet! MUAH! So happy for you!

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BLUEANGELLK 9/12/2011 8:10AM

    Congratulations. I know you will knock them out!

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If They Were Me, and I Was You

Monday, September 05, 2011

www.youtube.com/watch?v=40K2S0-5Xo0

A few things have happened recently. First off, I turned 49 on the 2nd (hence the song -- many thanks to Pseudobritchick for reminding me of it). One more year and I will hit a new running division. This is a much smaller division, at least in the 5Ks that I run. And so I have a chance to actually crack the top 3. Keep in mind I don't think I've seen more than 5 women in this division unless I run a really big race but hey, I could use the kudos.

Today I ran my 22nd 5K and did okay, finishing fourth from last and in about 44:10. Official results will probably be posted in a day or 2.

But -- let me tell you about the gal who finished last.

She was, I am guessing, about 225, 250 lbs. or so. Probably in her 30s.

She was also in a regular wheelchair.

The course is uneven and there are wooded portions. There are two bridges that you go over. There are sticks everywhere, evidence of Hurricane Irene.

And things that you or I would not see as hills -- they were hills to her. And, we talked to her afterwards, and she said that the paved portions all sloped over to the right. So even what didn't feel like even a slight hill was still an issue for her. She said she had to steer with her left hand while pushing with her right. It could not have been easy -- plus it was another overly warm and humid day. She was redfaced at the end of it (as was I).

She finished in about 1:06 and some miscellaneous number of seconds.

Results will be up soon, as I stated above. And then I will know her name.

She says she's going to do the Marathon in April. And I want to know who I'm cheering for. I sometimes go to the Marathon. I live pretty close to where Heartbreak Hill ends. I hope I see her.

Hell, when I grow up, I wanna BE her.

RESULTS: http://www.coolrunning.com/results/11/ma/S
ep5_Badhab_set1.shtml
Go, CATHERINE, go!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NVDONNA 9/10/2011 10:37PM

    Wow,,such strength and determination. And I complain about how tired I am after 30 minutes on the eliptical,,,,kinda puts a new perspective on things,,ya know! Thanks for sharing!

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STRINGS58 9/10/2011 10:04PM

    What a cool story -- and Happy Birthday (youngin') I tried jogging today and it will take work to get my body cooperating.
May your inspiration shine on and on

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SHEL1181 9/8/2011 2:07PM

    That's amazing.....thanks for this story.

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KAYWEB555 9/7/2011 12:10PM

    Thanks for sharing! with her as your inspiration I'm sure you will pick up your pace ! Hope you see her and can give her the Spark People Cheering team that she should have !

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WINACHST 9/7/2011 9:46AM

    WOW! that woman is an inspiration

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KASEYCOFF 9/6/2011 3:57PM

    Incredible story - whatta woman! She's got genuine courage!
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QUEENOTHEFOREST 9/6/2011 9:22AM

    Hey Jes, your story is making me count my blessings this morning. Thanks

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BESEVEN 9/5/2011 10:17PM

    Just a little over a year until my 49th. Thanks for blazing such an inspiring trail! 22 5Ks. Wow. The last 5K I did was when I was in my early 30's. Wheelchair gal may be inspiring, but to me she's no more inspiring than you!
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SWEETZMIX 9/5/2011 8:42PM

    OMG that lady is freaking awesome. And we complain all the time about what we can't do! Kudos on your 22nd 5K!!

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DDOORN 9/5/2011 5:17PM

    I am just bowled over by how amazing folks with such limitations can be...!

Just goes to show how much our spirit and attitude has to do with our whole approach toward life!

Don

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CAROLISCIOUS 9/5/2011 5:07PM

    I am continually amazed at the awesome-ness of some people. What a great story. Congrats to her and to you.

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MS.ELENI 9/5/2011 2:44PM

    Awesome story. Thanks for sharing it with us.makes us stop and think.

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JENNYD97 9/5/2011 2:38PM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmZ2
ICOZ8mo

Happy Birthday! Our official birthday tune at work is the beatles tune so I posted a link for you :)
She is definitely an inspiration. Good luck to her in April!

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MAPLECANDY3 9/5/2011 2:28PM

    It really is motivating isnt it? It reminds me of a similar story. When i was on weight watchers, there was a woman on the message boards whom was a regular poster and decided to walk a 5k race. She was in her 50s and occasionally needed a walker. She went to the race (with her walker) and pushed through all her physical pain...but she was so slow, and behind everyone that people started to move the road blockers so that traffic could start using the roads. It didnt stop her. She knew the path and had her timer on and kept going. I beleive it took her over 2 hours. She was the first woman to walk it with a walker and she ended up being in the paper! :)

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TRICOTINE 9/5/2011 1:09PM

    Now that Lady sure is some INSPIRATION!!! emoticon
I think I wanna be her too!

Happy 49th BD to you! emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/5/2011 1:10:18 PM

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And All I Can Do is Just Pour Some Tea for Two

Monday, August 29, 2011

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qVPNONdF58

So we did have rain, and a few gusts, and there was some cellar water, but that's all gone and it's a beautiful day. I don't mean to gloat -- I hope it doesn't sound like that -- but we emerged with no issues after Hurricane Irene. Down several streets, though, a tree fell over power lines, and we saw branches on another street that took out a cable line (Mr. J and I went out in it last night).

Otherwise, nuthin'. I am well aware that a number of people are dead and, even in Mass., 700,000 people are without power as of this morning. But we are fine.

And it does make one wonder about hype versus reality. I do not wish to get into a political discussion but some of this was definitely overhyped. Then again, I am certain that the government did not want another Katrina fiasco on its hands. And the original models were rather dire (we were originally told that we could get 6 - 10" of rain. I think we got 1 1/2" or so).

It's a balance. Panic too many people without reason, and they won't listen to you next time. Warn too few people and people die in their homes or engage in foolish risk-taking. Hell, half the time they do that anyway.

And, here in weight loss land, I suppose the balance is somewhat similar, and is as difficult.

Read too many dire warnings about your health and, if they don't come true, you can often find yourself continuing to tempt fate. That is certainly what happened to me for years. I was over 300, but my cholesterol and pressure were just dandy and the doctor's finger wagging felt meaningless. Hey, I'm fine! Pass the butter!

And then no warnings or few warnings, and people think you're uninformed. I had people tell me they were concerned, and give me magazine articles and the like. Well, duh. I know this stuff. Not. Helping.

I see this all the time on Spark, where people want to know how to help their kids, convince their spouse, etc. and I think a lot of them have forgotten what got them started in the first place, on the path to wellness.

I doubt it was a magazine article or an overly dire warning of an event that seemed remote.

I get the feeling it was something truly personal, and I bet a lot of it came from within.

For me, it was when my doctor just sat me down and said, "Look, I have no idea how you haven't become diabetic up until this point, but you are on that path. And it might not happen this year, but it will happen. You are continuing to increase the odds every year. And one day it's just going to happen."

And at that point, I realized that it wasn't just some idle, empty threat, that she really meant it and I was on a pretty destructive personal path.

But I had to come to it on my terms, in my own way.

So -- people ask -- how can I help others to see the light?

Well, I hate to break it to you, folks, but you probably can't, because diet evangelists are just as annoying to the non-dieting overweight as I am sure ex-smokers are to smokers. It ain't personal; it's just that they are not receptive to the message and you are gonna turn blue in the face and no one's going to be helped and all that will happen is that you will both become frustrated and resentful.

Instead, I think, be a good example. Be a resource if someone asks. Don't ram the lifestyle down their throats. Just live it. When I was working, I would eat rather spare lunches. Usually, if the company ordered something in for a lunch meeting, I might take a small salad without dressing, or just have my own soup with me. And I would sit and do that. I wasn't deprived and I wasn't isolated. But people saw.

Or I would go out walking at lunch. And people would notice.

Did they change? A little. Sometimes these things can seem glacial. But I know that when most of those people went out to lunch with me, they would often curtail what they were eating. Did I make them feel guilty? I didn't mean to. I was not trying to. I was just eating my lunch. That's it, nothing more. No lectures, no holier than thou nonsense. Just, "I'd like a salad, please, dressing on the side. And water's fine." If someone sees a lecture or a holier than thou attitude in there, I wish they'd point it out to me.

And people would come up to me and tell me -- because of you, I just started Weight Watchers. Or, you've inspired me. Or, where do you walk around here, it looks like fun. Can I go with you some time?

That's it, folks. No overhyping, but no ignoring of it, either. Is it perfect? Hell no. I'm sure that most if not all of my former coworkers are back to their old ways. I don't promise to change the world, by any means.

I think all that we can hope for is to change ourselves, and hope that that change seeps out and touches others.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TCEDEROTH 9/10/2011 9:47PM

    I was missing you, so I came for a visit. So glad you're still here old friend.

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DDOORN 9/5/2011 12:04AM

    You got it Jes: Be the SPARK you want to see in the world!

Don

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VALERIEMAHA 8/30/2011 8:51AM

    You told the truth and said it well, m'dear. Kudos! Yep, my moment of truth was being diagnosed with weight-induced diabetes at 200 lbs....80 lbs. later the diagnosis "magically" disappeared.

Speaking of the the press and "hype vs. reality" I'm continuously astounded by the lack of Good News in the sensationalist press. If they'd make a habit of it, maybe the American public would start getting as "hyped" about that as we do about publishing all the dire tidings!

I subscribe to the Daily Good. Check out this excerpt from a story this morning:

Some people give back to their community. Then there's School Superintendent Larry Powell, who's literally giving back. As in $800,000 -- his expected compensation for the next three years. Until 2015, Powell will run 325 schools and 35 school districts with 195,000 students, all for $31,000/yr. "How much do we need to keep accumulating?" asks Powell, 63. "There's no reason for me to keep stockpiling money." The man who started his career as a high school civics teacher, who has made anti-bullying his mission, wants to ensure that his pet projects survive, and hopes his act of generosity will help restore faith in the government. There's even more to Powell's story: he contracted childhood polio, leaving him with lingering post-polio syndromes. But his view? "It's the most spectacular thing that has happened to me in all my life," Powell said. "People stepped up to help me be successful."
http://www.dailygood.org/more.p
hp?n=4720

Definitely brought a smile to my face.

Lovely tea.
xox
Maha

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KASEYCOFF 8/30/2011 3:54AM

    Great blog, really great. I plan to keep a copy and re-read it from time to time - good ideas and motivation in there, hon!
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BESEVEN 8/29/2011 11:37PM

    This was so beautiful and so true. Thank you!
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CAROLISCIOUS 8/29/2011 10:11PM

    Let your spark light shine...
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MS.ELENI 8/29/2011 10:27AM

    Actions speak louder than words. Always has and always will.

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MARCHMAID 8/29/2011 10:05AM

    Well, I'm a backslider, no inspiration to anybody on the weight front, and I think health has always been the last and least of my concerns. My hands hurt all the time--weight loss won't help that. Strangling the surgeon who mangled the carpal tunnel surgery in January would give me more pleasure than abandoning cookies.

I love to walk--lost 30 pounds that way 18 years ago and kept 20 off for a long time--but now my knees aren't stable. I am older and feel it every morning.

But, the sun is shining and I'm generally pretty happy, not looking to be Miss American any more at least, so my head is on straighter.

Pour me a cup, too, Jes.

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BLACK741 8/29/2011 9:53AM

    When I was a teenager, my mother used to try to shame me into loosing weight. Of course it did not good, and probably lots of harm as I continued to be fat for years to come. Now she is, you need to stop losing, you are thin enough, etc etc. We each come to this in our own way and we do what works for us. I have a cousin who is an alcoholic and think that he has always been ashamed of it, but last time he was in rehab I pointed out that I was no different than he was, my drug of choice was food, his was alcohol and at least he could avoid his, where as I needed to get my drug everyday and learn how to control it on my own. He has been sober now for just over a year, so am thinking that maybe I inspired him to try to do better?

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BLUEANGELLK 8/29/2011 9:41AM

    The hype is I think what made me quit SP the first time I tried. Too many people were issuing dire warnings about calorie differential and flax seed muffins. I remember one person who wrote on the message boards a rather scathing post about someone who said running wasn't working for her. I didn't need the threat of someone like that hanging over my head ready to preach at me when I messed up or decided some things weren't for me.

The hype and the pursuit of perfection is what made me this way, it is what caused me to lose faith in myself and quit. Now I am back and doing it MY way. Quietly and without preaching, or even commenting. I am much more successful and happy. Thanks for the affirmation!

Congratulations on your progress and your inspiration of others. Keep up the good work!

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TELERIE 8/29/2011 9:35AM

    I get all warm and fuzzy reading this. Isn't it an incredible feeling when you realize you're someone's inspiration?

I have tried to live like that - not over-hyping, just doing my thing. I have no idea what finally clicked, but I do realize that I was not listening to all I knew, I knew what to do, I just did't DO it. Until I just DID. And eventually was told I pulled others along. Warmth and fuzziness!

You're my inspiration. I hope you get glowing and warm and fuzzy too.

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