Monday, June 27, 2011
Ah, and here is the week where I lose 1/3 of what I gained last week.
So why is it so often that the highs are no so high, but the lows can be devastating?
We are nuts here, many of us, overthinking the scale, cramming as much control into our days as possible, oh so carefully balancing work, home, family, life and calorie cycling as well. Oops, can't have carbs from a yellow vegetable because it's 9 AM on a Monday. Oh, no!
Breaches in our routines throw us for considerably larger loops than they should. And we worship and track and pay attention to the scale in a manner that is not good for us. It occupies a position of far more importance than it should.
Now, I am not knocking calorie cyclers. If that works for you, hey, have at it. And I am well aware that, for many diabetics, life is kinda like that whether you want it to be, or not. I am also not saying to pitch your scale out the window, despite how tempting that may seem. It is a useful tool. IF YOU LOOK AT IT ONCE PER WEEK.
After that, though, really, what are you expecting to see? I ate a grape yesterday, let's see what happened? Cripes, you ate a damned grape! It was, what, 2 calories? I got news for you. The scale will only tell you one of three things:
1) you lost weight. Was it because of the grape? No, it was because of other good choices, and from working out.
2) you gained weight. Was it because of the grape? No, it was because of other choices, and they may even have been good ones but there may be something else at work, like water retention or the workout wasn't as good as you thought it was or the diet gods are laughing at you this week.
3) you stayed the same. Was it because of the grape? Helfino.
Substitute grape for Pasta Alla Puttanesca or spelt or pizza or birthday cake or whatever and you get thousands of inner conversations that so many of us have as we step on the scale.
I refuse to have those internal conversations anymore. I am sick of them.
I pledge to you, from now on - I will step on the scale on Monday morning ONLY. And I will lose, or I will gain, or I will stay the same. And the world will not break away from orbit and spin off its axis and life as we know it will not end because I wasn't insane for every single minute of every single day. This does not mean that I stop tracking, or I stop working out, or I stop eating well or that I stop caring. No.
It means that I am going to do my level best to stop obsessing.
It's just overkill.
Monday, June 20, 2011
By all rights, I should be angry.
I should be screaming and swearing at my betraying body that has, in one week, gained back the two back to back hard-fought losses of the prior two weeks. You know, the first losses in God knows how long?
Yeah, I should be PO'd.
And it's weird, but I'm not.
It is PMS time (which explains much of the gain, I suppose), and I should be RAILING.
I am also waiting to hear on two possible jobs. For people who told me last week that I'd hear by the end of that week. And the previous week they had made that promise about the prior week. Yeah, I should be LIVID.
But I'm strangely not.
Perhaps I've hit the zen sweet spot. I don't know.
I do know that getting angry and laying blame hasn't done a damned bit of good. All that's gotten me is tired. Not thinner, not faster, not a job. Just tired.
Now, this is not gonna be a rah-rah blog about how adversity is good for us, yadda yadda yadda.
Truth be told, adversity STINKS. Even if you want to do difficult things, there just comes a point where you wanna cry Uncle, where the 27+ miles walked and the 1600 - 1800 calorie diet followed last week shoulda done SOMETHING. It can be hard to make that effort and to feel that it is all for naught -- but the truth is, it was not for nothing.
Alas, though, it does not always come across on the scale. What is most maddening is the fact that putting it on is EASY. It does not take much to slip. It is, you are often like the little Dutch boy, with his finger in the dike, trying to hold back the river and finding it nigh well impossible.
But taking it off is HARD. Don't EVER let ANYONE tell you that this is easy. The first few steps can, actually, feel easy. But the long haul, the years, the miles, the stacked up plates full of good food choices that stretch from here to the moon?
Those are difficult.
This journey takes a LOT. Don't ever let anyone tell you this is a walk in the park, even if you're walking in the park when they tell you that.
You are the strongest people I know.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Ha, you thought, perhaps, that the clothing rant was over!
Oh, no, mes amis. It is far from over.
Let us, ahem, discuss what is, erm, under the shirt. And the pants.
I am speaking, of course, of our skivvies. How many of us walk around all day and are uncomfortable?
Now, I am well aware that constructing a bra is, in many ways, a job for the Army Corps of Engineers. It is a complex system of angles, pads, hooks, straps, cups and, perhaps, a bit of anti-gravity. There are different types, too, for enhancement or minimizing or whatever. It's a wonder any of 'em are relatively inexpensive, truth be told.
But why, oh why, is it that finding the right fit is so dang complicated? It is a set of measurements. And it is actually more measurement-driven than any other piece of women's clothing. It should be EASY to get a bra that fits.
I am a 36C. This morning, when I measured myself, my bust was 39.25" and my band was 35.5". According to Macy's www.macys.com/campaign/social?campai
gn_id=39&channel_id=1 I am a 36C, whether you go with a 35 or a 36 for my band size. Well, all righty then!
Except that I gap out on the sides, unless I am wearing a sports bra.
It is supposed to actually fit me! So -- here's a wacky idea -- unless it's some sort of a hotsy-totsy ooh la la type of bra, couldya people make it with higher sides? Otherwise, it looks like I am stuffing into something that does not fit.
And now to head southward.
I have found that Fruit of the Loom fit. Hanes Her Way, for me, do not. Same size (6 these days). Really, this should not be a radical difference. Yet it is! For, while I can get both types on me, the latter manufacturer's product, ahem, has a lovely tendency to go to places where it is not supposed to go.
My only advice is -- and you can't try these on in a store, so you end up buyin' 'em, is to try on, wear for a day, and see how often (if at all) you have to tug. Life is too short to be tugging. Know what I'm sayin'?
By the way, this can be a male issue as well, according to my husband.
Finally, something that more people will see -- shorts. How many people here wear shorts that continually ride up if you walk for more than, I dunno, a block?
My husband even has this happen to him, and he is a good 30 lbs. lighter than I am, and with decent legs (there's your ooh la la right there) without thigh rubbing. So why is he getting ride up?
My request to shorts makers - I dunno, but FIND A WAY. Perhaps the bottom part of each leg could be cuffed with a very slight weight in it? Of course longer shorts, like the kind that hit at the knee or so, have much less of this problem. But those are no good when it's 90 out. I would like to be able to wear shorts in skeery hot weather without, among the other things I deal with in life, also have to spend my time figuring out how I am going to, surrepitiously, adjust 'em. Over and over and over again.
I swear we will have World Peace a lot faster if all underwear issues could get resolved.
So, to all undergarment manufacturers out there -- pun intended, of course -- GET CRACKIN'!
Monday, June 06, 2011
Okay, so it's an odd video. Anyway, ahem.
Dear clothing manufacturers:
Well, maybe not ALL of you, but, really. You've had a long time of seeing the United States get heavier and heavier, yet you still don't get our bodies. You don't get our tastes or our needs. You.Do.Not.Get.It.
Now, I am well aware that money talks in this area, and that if I spend some serious cabbage, I can get tailored clothing and avoid these problems. But, let's face it. Most of us are not made of money. And we might spend for a few pieces but, really, we need more than a piece or two in order to actually get through our days and not be doing laundry (or dry cleaning) every flippin' day.
But I digress.
You continue to stink.
Consider these issues.
* For shirts, blazers and blouses, yes, you make larger sizes. Cool! But, so often, you fail to increase the size of the arm holes. For larger women, or former larger women, the triceps are often big. Hell, that's true for older women as well. Yet here I am, wearing 14s, and I swear the arm holes are close in size to what they were when I was wearing 10s and when I was wearing 20s.
* Large women are not all large in the same way. In order to avoid some of the issues here, I propose a belly measurement for your clothes, along with bust, waist and (sometimes) hip. Maybe even size these clothes differently. A size 14WB could be a bit bigger around the midsection. I cannot say how many times blazers and whatnot fit at the shoulders but then there was an epic fail by the belly.
* Pockets! Cripes, do you not realize that we carry keys, change, a smidge of makeup and a hanky or tissues? AND WE DON'T WANT TO BE CARRYING A PURSE WITH US 24/7. How hard is it to get that? Running shorts never seem to have pockets, except for one miniscule one that -- maybe -- will hold one key. Well, guess what? I have more than one key. Yeah, I drive a car AND don't live in it. Yeah, I am awesome that way.
* On the subject of arm holes, what about calf sizing for boots? I am a size 11 in shoes. I have been this size for many years and while I weighed all sorts of amounts. But it's tough to find boots that fit over the calf. First I was heavy there. Now, I'm muscular there. And the boots STILL don't fit. I know that these exist, but they often have to be paid extra for (of course, how silly of me - pay and pay, right?). C'mon. It's a size 11. Seriously, 10s and 11s and up, these are way at the end of the curve. Dontcha think the calf size would be a bit larger, too?
* Blue jeans. Yanno that belly measurement I mentioned above? Yeah. That might help in this area.
* Elastic waists. Can't you hide them better, or at least put belt loops on so that we can do that? These days, I don't wear 'em so much, but I have plenty of friends who do. And they'd prefer to not be telling the world that they're wearing elastic waistbands. Can ya cut 'em just a tiny bit of slack in that area?
And, last but not least - Vanity Sizing. Man oh man I hate this. Just use measurements, all right? And, hell, use both English and Metric while you're at it. My waist, this morning (I measured it and all) is 35 3/4". My belly is 40". My hips are 43". What size pants am I wearing? 14.
Yeah, that's got a basis in reality.
Anyway, that's today's beef. And, folks, feel free to add yours. Or, if you have a fave designer, talk about 'em! Tell the world how wonderful some company is. I've found Columbia Sportswear to be good for workout stuff (e. g. actual pockets that work), and Dockers to be decent for semi-dressy pants. Talbots isn't bad, either, but I fit into them now (I didn't used to). Plus they can run pricey, particularly for everyday stuff.
Who's out there who DOESN'T stink? Let everyone know. Shout it from the rooftops. I wanna buy my short skirt and my long jacket from SOMEONE.
Monday, May 30, 2011
So the experiment in eat more, weigh less, has been proven to be a miserable failure. But perhaps my setpoint has been, er, reset. This is very annoying.
I went from 1600 - 1800 calories/day to 1800 - 2000/day, following SP's recommendation, given my exercise regimen. And of course I went from 205 lbs. to 208.6, over the course of the 7 weeks I gave myself. I had exactly ONE week with a loss, and that was glorious loss of .4 lbs.
I didn't let up on the exercise, and rarely ate stuff I wouldn't normally eat (in there was my Dad's 80th birthday party and I had chocolate cake - as fit in with my plan!). I did my best to balance out carbs and not go insane with the salt (more food often means more salt).
But, in the end, I was doing better before I changed.
So now I'm back to eating 1600 - 1800/day.
As for how I am feeling about it, I am frustrated and less than pleased. It feels, a bit, like a wasted 7-week period. At least before, I was lower. We'll see what happens in the next 7 or so weeks.
What kills me is that this is NOT maintenance. I am NOT done. I am still only 5'6". I am still over 200 lbs. And I am still a 14, but those are (see how much fun this BS has been?) getting tighter. Gaah.
As for my attitude, well, tough. Sorry, but I'm not gonna be chipper about this. It stinks. No, I am not giving up. Don't worry about that.
But I'll be damned if I'm gonna say that this makes me happy, recommitted, or whatever. It doesn't. It stinks, and I am tired of it.
On to the next round and, hopefully, better news. I'm goin' swimming today.
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