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I Have a History of Taking Off My Shirt

Monday, June 13, 2011

Ha, you thought, perhaps, that the clothing rant was over!

Oh, no, mes amis. It is far from over.

Let us, ahem, discuss what is, erm, under the shirt. And the pants.

I am speaking, of course, of our skivvies. How many of us walk around all day and are uncomfortable?

Now, I am well aware that constructing a bra is, in many ways, a job for the Army Corps of Engineers. It is a complex system of angles, pads, hooks, straps, cups and, perhaps, a bit of anti-gravity. There are different types, too, for enhancement or minimizing or whatever. It's a wonder any of 'em are relatively inexpensive, truth be told.

But why, oh why, is it that finding the right fit is so dang complicated? It is a set of measurements. And it is actually more measurement-driven than any other piece of women's clothing. It should be EASY to get a bra that fits.

I am a 36C. This morning, when I measured myself, my bust was 39.25" and my band was 35.5". According to Macy's
I am a 36C, whether you go with a 35 or a 36 for my band size. Well, all righty then!

Except that I gap out on the sides, unless I am wearing a sports bra.


It is supposed to actually fit me! So -- here's a wacky idea -- unless it's some sort of a hotsy-totsy ooh la la type of bra, couldya people make it with higher sides? Otherwise, it looks like I am stuffing into something that does not fit.


And now to head southward.


I have found that Fruit of the Loom fit. Hanes Her Way, for me, do not. Same size (6 these days). Really, this should not be a radical difference. Yet it is! For, while I can get both types on me, the latter manufacturer's product, ahem, has a lovely tendency to go to places where it is not supposed to go.

My only advice is -- and you can't try these on in a store, so you end up buyin' 'em, is to try on, wear for a day, and see how often (if at all) you have to tug. Life is too short to be tugging. Know what I'm sayin'?

By the way, this can be a male issue as well, according to my husband.

Finally, something that more people will see -- shorts. How many people here wear shorts that continually ride up if you walk for more than, I dunno, a block?

My husband even has this happen to him, and he is a good 30 lbs. lighter than I am, and with decent legs (there's your ooh la la right there) without thigh rubbing. So why is he getting ride up?

My request to shorts makers - I dunno, but FIND A WAY. Perhaps the bottom part of each leg could be cuffed with a very slight weight in it? Of course longer shorts, like the kind that hit at the knee or so, have much less of this problem. But those are no good when it's 90 out. I would like to be able to wear shorts in skeery hot weather without, among the other things I deal with in life, also have to spend my time figuring out how I am going to, surrepitiously, adjust 'em. Over and over and over again.

I swear we will have World Peace a lot faster if all underwear issues could get resolved.

So, to all undergarment manufacturers out there -- pun intended, of course -- GET CRACKIN'!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PICKIE98 7/11/2011 5:29PM

    A-oh! Message in a Bottle.. another song stuck in my head!!!

I do not have shorts ride up, but that Rusty butt-crack image is not pretty,, I have my fruity-tooty Loomers on and they never ride up if I buy the correct size..
I wear JMS bras,, their sizing for me is dead-on.. but I am so glad I do not have what I have heard some people call back boobs??? Is that it, where the foundation garment pushes everything until it squeezes out onto the back?? Mine is my underarms,, too much going on there,,

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NUMD97 7/9/2011 8:22PM

    Thanks for the chuckle.

And of course you are, indeed, correct. Why clothing is not standard across manufacturers, I dunno, is anyone's guess. It's really not rocket science, but then again here we are. =sigh=

Good luck as you soldier on,


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SHEL1181 7/4/2011 10:39PM

    Bra's suck!!! I found a good one but it broke in a couple months!!!! How does that happen. Most of the one's that fit don't go up high enough on the side and that is such an unattractive look. I think I look decent and then I see that side fat pushing up and over the bra and just want to take it off and put my sports bra on. So frustrating! Loved your blog!!!

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JOPAPGH 7/4/2011 7:16PM

    Just stopped by for the song reference. (love those guys)

My shorts don't ride up, and I'm not much help in the bra dept.

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RONOSOF 7/4/2011 10:40AM

    so no one caught the musical reference? or I'm the only one with the song stuck in my head;)

have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
"I have a history of taking off my shirt"

It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air
and said "You're crazy"
Five days since you tackled me
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees
It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized it's not my fault
not a moment too soon
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry

Chickity China the Chinese chicken...
ok I'll stop.

Cheers, Mary

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CAROLISCIOUS 6/15/2011 8:38PM

    Preach it sista!

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FRECKS96 6/14/2011 6:42AM

    Amen! I hate bra shopping. I generally end up special ordering from an online company. Expensive but generally worth it.

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KSGROTHE 6/14/2011 3:02AM

    You CRACK me up! emoticon

- Karen

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    Mmmmm. I remember the days when women used to go braless and it was acceptable. Imagine? Of course those were the days when I was skinny ad there was nothing to put in a bra. And getting dressed up meant wearing a cami so the outerwear kinda slipped more gracefully. I have a feeling no matter how much weight I lose the braless days are history. And maybe that is a good thing for the world.

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MADERINERUE 6/13/2011 9:03PM

    I loved this blog.

When I was nursing (sorry if this is TMI) I was, like, a 36 E or something mammotastic like that. I went to a specialty store that was known for its mastectomy bras and they fitted me (and the owner's demented mother felt me up to make sure the girls were where they should be...yeah, that was interesting). I ordered a couple of hard-core nursing bras from them and my life improved significantly. Now I'm a normal 34 D and I absolutely lovelovelove the Spanx Bra-llelujah. They are stupid-expensive (about $60 each) but I buy three, rotate them regularly, and they last for 2-3 years each (longer for the black one, which I wear less frequently, and it's still going strong at 4+ years). No back fat rolls. No strangulation. Just a nice, gentle hug. I love them.

As far as panties are concerned, I'm a big fan of Gap Body. They have decent sales several times a year. I wear an 8 or a 10 on the bottom, but I get a size large. No creepy-crawly nonsense. And if you go for the lacy boy-shorts, no panty lines, either, if that is ever an issue for you.

Just my two cents. Love the BN Ladies, by the way.

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ARLENE_MOVES 6/13/2011 7:18PM

    Interesting blog. Just this morning I told myself I needed to go out and buy at least 1 till I reached my goal. Right now, I'm really uncomfortable because it is too big... emoticon

Now, not looking forward to shopping at all cause I don't want to spend a bunch right now. Maybe I'llgo for the sports bar. I donno... emoticon emoticon

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TEMPEST272002 6/13/2011 5:53PM

    You have so many great observations... maybe you should cnsider a 2nd career as a clothes designer!

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ALLISON_R36 6/13/2011 12:49PM

    Awesome blog! Stupid shorts...

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 6/13/2011 12:16PM

    1) Bras.
You can go to the Intimacy store at Copley Place (857.277.7887). I went to one in San Diego when I hit goal in January of 2009 while they were having specials on bra fittings and they spent a long time trying to fit the girls into something. More info here: Their bras are hideously expensive. I recommend noting down the brand, model, and size and trying to find the same thing online somewhere else.

They might not have such issues with your girls since you got the skin removed. Mine are "as is," after losing around 180 lbs.

In the end they put me in something pretty similar to what I wear usually and buy at Wal-Mart:

2) Underwear.
I think I just buy Hanes for Her briefs. I think they might be high cut, but I'm not sure. I'm probably due for a downsize. If your skivvies are riding up you could try going up a size and see how that feels.

3) Shorts.
When I was buying from their catalog had these awesome stretch compression shorts with a lightweight shell around the sides that disguised the lycra. The lycra kept them from riding up. Looks like they still have them:

Other manufacturers probably have something similar but I rarely wear shorts except board shorts (when I'm kayaking, which I'm not this season) so I don't know what options like that there are.

Let us know how it goes!

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LADYJAY25 6/13/2011 11:39AM

    Love the blog! LOL I totally agree with the bra thing! I am a 44D and the larger womens bras just suck! I've tried so many diffrent brands. Currently i have a few from Cacique (Lane Bryants lingurie dept) But I know the sucky bra fits happen to women of all sizes. My cousin is a size 2 maybe!, and she has issues finding good bras too!

So... Hopefully the fashion industry will listen.

On a side not to the panty thing. There was a spotlight on the Dr. Oz show where he talked about VANITY SIZING. Look it up. Since the 50s a size 12 has grown 8 inches!!! There is no government regulations when it comes to sizes in the US. So manufacturers are marking larger sizes smaller so that women will feel better about their size and buy more...

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KABOOPER 6/13/2011 11:08AM

    Your best bet is to go to a Victoria Secrets OR there are companies I have heard of that will measure and FIT you for YOU!And they do make bras with higher sides, but they are more pricey than your everyday run of the mill Target and Sears type bras.
I love victoria secrets they have ones that cover well and no gaps, you just have to be willing to work with the sales people and let them look at you in your skivies.

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IFDEEVARUNS2 6/13/2011 11:02AM

    Thanks for the laugh this morning!

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CYBERQT 6/13/2011 10:56AM

    I bought a new bra this weekend. Its a 7 way biofit bra at Victoria Secret. A bit pricy (65$) but! You can wear it 7 ways with black or clear straps. I'm a 38DD and I can even wear it strapless! It is amazing and the sides aren't tiny . I love it! I am going to buy another one next month in another color.

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PONYFARMER 6/13/2011 10:20AM

    Oh I hear you sister! It is so annoying and needs to have a fix and soon. Both of them! I have the exact same issues.

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The Right Allocations

Monday, June 06, 2011

Okay, so it's an odd video. Anyway, ahem.

Dear clothing manufacturers:

You stink.

Well, maybe not ALL of you, but, really. You've had a long time of seeing the United States get heavier and heavier, yet you still don't get our bodies. You don't get our tastes or our needs. You.Do.Not.Get.It.

Now, I am well aware that money talks in this area, and that if I spend some serious cabbage, I can get tailored clothing and avoid these problems. But, let's face it. Most of us are not made of money. And we might spend for a few pieces but, really, we need more than a piece or two in order to actually get through our days and not be doing laundry (or dry cleaning) every flippin' day.

But I digress.

You continue to stink.

Consider these issues.
* For shirts, blazers and blouses, yes, you make larger sizes. Cool! But, so often, you fail to increase the size of the arm holes. For larger women, or former larger women, the triceps are often big. Hell, that's true for older women as well. Yet here I am, wearing 14s, and I swear the arm holes are close in size to what they were when I was wearing 10s and when I was wearing 20s.
* Large women are not all large in the same way. In order to avoid some of the issues here, I propose a belly measurement for your clothes, along with bust, waist and (sometimes) hip. Maybe even size these clothes differently. A size 14WB could be a bit bigger around the midsection. I cannot say how many times blazers and whatnot fit at the shoulders but then there was an epic fail by the belly.
* Pockets! Cripes, do you not realize that we carry keys, change, a smidge of makeup and a hanky or tissues? AND WE DON'T WANT TO BE CARRYING A PURSE WITH US 24/7. How hard is it to get that? Running shorts never seem to have pockets, except for one miniscule one that -- maybe -- will hold one key. Well, guess what? I have more than one key. Yeah, I drive a car AND don't live in it. Yeah, I am awesome that way.
* On the subject of arm holes, what about calf sizing for boots? I am a size 11 in shoes. I have been this size for many years and while I weighed all sorts of amounts. But it's tough to find boots that fit over the calf. First I was heavy there. Now, I'm muscular there. And the boots STILL don't fit. I know that these exist, but they often have to be paid extra for (of course, how silly of me - pay and pay, right?). C'mon. It's a size 11. Seriously, 10s and 11s and up, these are way at the end of the curve. Dontcha think the calf size would be a bit larger, too?
* Blue jeans. Yanno that belly measurement I mentioned above? Yeah. That might help in this area.
* Elastic waists. Can't you hide them better, or at least put belt loops on so that we can do that? These days, I don't wear 'em so much, but I have plenty of friends who do. And they'd prefer to not be telling the world that they're wearing elastic waistbands. Can ya cut 'em just a tiny bit of slack in that area?

And, last but not least - Vanity Sizing. Man oh man I hate this. Just use measurements, all right? And, hell, use both English and Metric while you're at it. My waist, this morning (I measured it and all) is 35 3/4". My belly is 40". My hips are 43". What size pants am I wearing? 14.

Yeah, that's got a basis in reality.


Anyway, that's today's beef. And, folks, feel free to add yours. Or, if you have a fave designer, talk about 'em! Tell the world how wonderful some company is. I've found Columbia Sportswear to be good for workout stuff (e. g. actual pockets that work), and Dockers to be decent for semi-dressy pants. Talbots isn't bad, either, but I fit into them now (I didn't used to). Plus they can run pricey, particularly for everyday stuff.

Who's out there who DOESN'T stink? Let everyone know. Shout it from the rooftops. I wanna buy my short skirt and my long jacket from SOMEONE.

Thank you.

Love, jespah

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWEETZMIX 6/8/2011 1:15PM

    hmm I have the calf issue. I am a size 7 or 7.5 in shoes. Have been for years and doesn't matter how big or small I am, it's hard to find boots to fit over my calf too & I LOVE THEM! And I am actually petite, so finding pants I wish were easier. Sometimes the petite is still too long if I wear flats depending on the brand lol But at the end of the day, we work with what we got!

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 6/7/2011 10:47AM

    Can I add one from the other end of the spectrum?

Not everyone who is in a smaller size (8-10-12 depending on the decade and manufacturer) has petite-length arms and legs. Everything ending up as capris or 3/4 sleeves does get old, especially as autumn rolls around. LOL My ankles and wrists might like some coverage, now and then!

I used to really like for both their clothes and their workout gear. I kind of miss them. For swimsuits you couldn't beat the polyester chlorine-proof ones at They even had a group order option if you wanted to save money by getting together all your water aerobics buddies.

Honestly though I figure my best revenge against clothing manufacturers is to not buy from them. My favorite boutique is Salvation Army. LOL

Comment edited on: 6/7/2011 10:48:27 AM

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    I read someplace that vanity sizes tend to run more expensive than the old sized garments. Don't they think we know?

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CAROLISCIOUS 6/6/2011 8:13PM

    Even though I am a size 6...down from a 14. I still have to be careful when I purchase anything with sleeves. I have BIG upper arms...not muscular (although God knows I have tried) just BIG.

Bigger sleeves please!

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KSGROTHE 6/6/2011 5:13PM

    That was a funny video! I especially liked the woman at the end who made the comment about one-hit wonders (which I know Cake is not).

I can relate to much of what you said here. I am still shopping plus sizes (16 mostly), and I hate it. There is not really a good selection in the plus section of traditional department stores, and the specialty stores are expensive and not always my taste either. I also *hate* that the plus-size catalogs and stores usually use "traditional" (i.e., skinny) models. How am I supposed to know if an article of clothing that looks great on a skinny model is going to look OK in the plus size? I have shopped just a little at Torrid, which caters to younger women and teens generally, but I appreciated that they use actual plus-size models in their advertising and on their website. Unfortunately, I have still not figured out their sizing, which goes from 1 - 4. They also seem to assume that most plus size women have big busts. I did not fill many of the shirts I tried on very well even when it fit my stomach and shoulders OK. Oh, and I totally agree on the pockets! I must have pockets! (But not in my shirts.)

OK, I think I've ranted enough in my comment here. Thanks for bringing up such an important topic. emoticon

- Karen

Comment edited on: 6/6/2011 5:15:28 PM

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DMPRIDER 6/6/2011 12:18PM

    Good blog! I can especially relate to shirts and jackets that fit in the shoulders but not around the waist/hips. This is a particular problem for me because I am short so the proportions are often wrong which increases the problem - like I'm trying to fit what should fall at the waist around my hips.

And shopping for petites doesn't always solve the problem. Some manufacturers seem to assume that if you are short you are also small all over. I wish that was the case!

One big problem I have is that I have...ahem...a "generous" bust. So finding button-down blouses of any kind that lay nicely across the chest is almost impossible. When I was thinner, when I was heavier, and now I'm in between, it's still the same. The shirt will gap between buttons over the bustline if I dare to move my arms at all. So rather than flash glimpses of my bra at people, I used to safety pin my shirts there. What a PITA. Yes, I can buy a bigger size, but then it looks like I'm wearing a button-down sack. Not so flattering. Now, I only buy pullover shirts - Ts, polo shirts or Henleys. One of my biggest weight-loss goals is to be able to wear a Hawaiian shirt and have the buttons lay flat!

For what its worth, I like Land's End clothing. The materials are nice and they have good sizing charts with measurements in their catalogs and on their website. They also offer certain items in more than one "fit" or cut ie, body-hugging or a more generous cut. Their clothes are basic - nothing funky - but I like them. Their clothes are also generally well made and hold up well.

Edited to add: Yes, pockets please!!!

Comment edited on: 6/6/2011 11:04:08 PM

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DEELYNNE1 6/6/2011 11:56AM

    Right on, sistah! You had me at the arm holes. I have actually resorted to buying men's shirts because the arm holes were big enough to get my triceps into. All the women in my mom's family, overweight or under, have big upper arms and we can NEVER find women's sleeves that are big enough. The boot thing gets me too - I bought one pair of those way too expensive wide-calf boots and even THEY don't fit my calves. And my calves are a long way from my biggest part - I don't know how even women with skinny legs find boots that fit. All I ever buy anymore are ankle-height boots. And vanity sizing too ... well, I'd better stop before my rant in response becomes longer than your wonderful blog. Thank you for this! I SO agree with everything you said.

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MS.ELENI 6/6/2011 10:26AM

    You pretty much hit all my peeves.Only one I think you missed was blouses that fit until it falls below the waist.Then it is too tight. I hate trying to buy clothes. The arm holes is a good one.I had trouble when I only weighed 135# because I had biseps. I wish some very smart gal would start a clothing line that takes all you said in to account and at a reasonable price.She would be rich just because of volume she would be able to sell.Actually it could be a man as they have same problem if they are heavy. Great blog.One we can all relate to. emoticon

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MARCHMAID 6/6/2011 8:43AM

    I hear you. The apparent answer is to mold ourselves to fit the mold. sigh. emoticon

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Above the Clouds

Monday, May 30, 2011

So the experiment in eat more, weigh less, has been proven to be a miserable failure. But perhaps my setpoint has been, er, reset. This is very annoying.

I went from 1600 - 1800 calories/day to 1800 - 2000/day, following SP's recommendation, given my exercise regimen. And of course I went from 205 lbs. to 208.6, over the course of the 7 weeks I gave myself. I had exactly ONE week with a loss, and that was glorious loss of .4 lbs.

I didn't let up on the exercise, and rarely ate stuff I wouldn't normally eat (in there was my Dad's 80th birthday party and I had chocolate cake - as fit in with my plan!). I did my best to balance out carbs and not go insane with the salt (more food often means more salt).

But, in the end, I was doing better before I changed.

So now I'm back to eating 1600 - 1800/day.

As for how I am feeling about it, I am frustrated and less than pleased. It feels, a bit, like a wasted 7-week period. At least before, I was lower. We'll see what happens in the next 7 or so weeks.

What kills me is that this is NOT maintenance. I am NOT done. I am still only 5'6". I am still over 200 lbs. And I am still a 14, but those are (see how much fun this BS has been?) getting tighter. Gaah.

As for my attitude, well, tough. Sorry, but I'm not gonna be chipper about this. It stinks. No, I am not giving up. Don't worry about that.

But I'll be damned if I'm gonna say that this makes me happy, recommitted, or whatever. It doesn't. It stinks, and I am tired of it.

On to the next round and, hopefully, better news. I'm goin' swimming today.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REJ7777 6/5/2011 8:36AM

    Sparking is a continual adjustment and finding out what works and what doesn't. It does stink when something doesn't work. It's discouraging. What's important is that you learned something and that you're going back to what works. emoticon

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    Yeah it stinks and I did not think for a minute you would quit. 4 a healthy BMI made a lot of sense though I think I have read it is not a good idea to go under 1200 per day. I like seeing the numbers laid out like that. I keep remembering the pleasure you obviously experienced when you were losing every week. And the joy of those Picts when you got so gorgeous.even you had to admit it and that great shot of you in your Sox shirt that was so big on you it was funny. I hope that pleasure motivates you again. So much more fun than frustration. That really was you, remember?

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 5/31/2011 9:58AM

    Well, I guess that's why they call it an "experiment." As in, "we don't know what the result will be until it's over."

Seriously, though, 3.6 lbs gained in 7 weeks isn't bad. Your calories were pretty close to a maintenance level.

Let's do the math by hand, since you weren't logging stuff over at Physics Diet.

((3 500 x 3.6) / 7) / 7 = 257 You were eating approximately 257 calories per day over what it would take to maintain.

So to maintain weight at your current activity level your calorie range is probably around 1543-1743.

To lose approximately 1 lb per week you would need to drop that down to 1043-1243 calories.

According to the math, anyway. Swimming is a good idea because it is a new, different activity and thus likely to help increase your calorie burn. I like to alternate my activities (when I can - I'm going through my own frustrations at the moment, given this long slow shoulder rehab process.)

So you could run/swim M-W-F and strength train T-Th-Weekend. Or something like that. And when I say "strength training" I mean lifting heavy, as suggested in "New Rules for Lifting."

Comment edited on: 5/31/2011 10:09:38 AM

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KSGROTHE 5/30/2011 10:53PM

    Well, your experiment didn't work out, but you're one step closer to figuring out what *does* work for you. We all have to find our own program, our own path to a healthy lifestyle. Hang in there. emoticon

- Karen

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MS.ELENI 5/30/2011 5:40PM

    I agree it stinks big time. Now enjoy your swim

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MARCHMAID 5/30/2011 4:28PM

    Tired here, too, but am seeing this as a "for crying out loud, Lady!" kind of thing:

For crying out loud, I've been moaning about my weight off and on for years. Give up or get if off is now my operative motto. Just for today---like an alcoholic. Darn it all!

Let's hang together and do this thing this summer!

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ARLENE_MOVES 5/30/2011 12:47PM

    Very frustrating. I'm with you -- the whole month of May, lost the same pound. Not 7 weeks but still just as frustrating. Hope you get past it. sorry. emoticon

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STRINGS58 5/30/2011 11:35AM

    Wow! this is pretty frustrating. I'm not sure what to tell you. Some would shock the system with no carbs, or muscle confusion or something, but I'm not a fan of being too harsh, because my recovery time undoes the progress! I hope you find the obstacle and move it out of your way. (insert emoticon guy pushing a large rock)

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GOGIRLOLDER 5/30/2011 11:33AM

    I love to swim too. I am staying off the scale, my clothes and people's comments let me know that the lifestyle is working. There is no end to is lifestyle. This was a good article. I am 5'6" too and am a 14 but just now are they fitting better.
ealthier_even_if_the_scale_doesnt_move Hang in there. emoticon

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FIT_TERI 5/30/2011 11:32AM

    How's no wonder that you're not feeling chipper. I'm sorry the experiment didn't work out for you. I hope you have better success with what you decide to do in this next phase. I'm glad you're hanging in there. Have fun swimming.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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The Line Forms on the Right, Babe

Monday, May 23, 2011

We got back from Cape Cod on Saturday, and things looked okay on Sunday morning, only up by .2 and I'm thinkin', this isn't so bad.

Oh, no. That was *yesterday*.

Silly me. I am not allowed to lose weight anymore! So long as I remember that, I won't be disappointed, eh? Because, of course, I'm up another 1.4. Yes, oh, thank you, sir, may I have

I am tired of this nonsense.

I am in the final week of my "eat more, see if you can reset the setpoint" experiment, and so far it has been a big, fat failure. As in, I weigh what I did in April.

Of 2009.

See why I'm a lil ticked off, eh?

I can totally see why, and how, people backslide (hell, I regained several times when I was younger. This isn't exactly unknown territory for me). I can see it, and I can hear it, the siren song of sugar and idleness and alcohol and oh, one won't hurt you!

And then suddenly it creeps back a little, but your clothes still fit, even though they don't look quite so hot, but you go with it, because a little play is natural. And then you're just wearing the stuff with forgiving waistbands and then you buy a few bigger pieces because you need a nice dress or a suit for a job interview or whatever and then you do that again and I swear it is like being a backsliding alcoholic because 14 is okay, and then 16 and 18 are okay and then 20 is okay because it's not the size 26 you used to be, eh? And then suddenly you're back to 26 but somehow that's justifiable because it's comfortable and you used to be that size and people loved you and you were fine and now you know better and you can do it again, right? Right?

Except you're older, and more cynical, and the low-hanging fruit was plucked a long, long time ago and you are staring at yourself in the mirror and thinking, I am too old for this nonsense, and I hate this, and I am tired of it and why can't life be easy like it used to be and oh poor me and God I hate my life and my clothes and my body and wouldn't it be good if somehow someone would invent a way to make it easier and I would do that except right now I just can't haul my butt off the couch.

Yeah, I know those thoughts, those feelings, those actions.

And they have crossed my mind lately. Let it go. Be Zen. Toss it all away.

It all seems so simple. Backsliding. For sliding is easy. You just let gravity take a hold of you and whoosh! You're back to where you were before except, for real, you're lower and the mountain is steeper and you just haven't got as much energy as you used to.

This morning, on the site that I manage, I had a discussion (I don't want to say fight although I was hopping mad) with a girl who was trying to convince people that REM sleep burns more calories than running on a treadmill. And she was annoying and self-righteous and I did my best to present the arguments and say, yes, you do burn a few calories at rest because your heart and your lungs are powered by calories, but to say that that is more than running is just downright irresponsible.

It got me angrier than it should have, and so I am attempting to at least be Zen about that.

As for being Zen about the weight gain, I am not Zen about that.

I am annoyed. I am tired, yes, but I am annoyed. And I am also -- and this seems a nutty thing to admit -- I am hurt.

I am hurt that my body has decided that, for whatever reason, eating well and exercising and drinking water and getting rest are just, somehow, not even cuttin' it for maintaining the weight loss I've achieved so far. I am hurt and I am angry. Something, someone, needs a spanking. Bad body! Bad! Naughty!

So, where do I go from here?

Back to basics? Uh, no, I've been at basics all along. Basics are not working for me. Basics are, right now, a rut. I track. I work out. I eat right. I drink the damned water (I live in the bathroom enough already, thank you very much). I watch the salt. I don't go carb-crazy.

Tomorrow (for today I have a job interview, and that is a part of why I am stressing right now, too), I return to my gym, and pound the treadmill, like I have been, like has not been working for me, for I know that giving up is not in the playbook, and depending on REM sleep for my weight loss is a lot like depending on elves to get it done.

Look out, naughty body. You're not gonna know what hit ya.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LBEEKMA 5/29/2011 9:07PM

    I like your spunky will win!

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SKEPCHICK 5/24/2011 4:33PM

  Frustrating, yes, but hang in there.

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SWEETZMIX 5/24/2011 8:41AM

    I agree it's frustrating & your experiment is not working. You will figure it out. It sucks, but you will & I love how you know giving up is not an option!

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    Sounds like it is a good thing you are at the end of the eat more experiment. Maybe ending that will jump start weight loss again? Fingers crossed for you babe. The job hunt stress would have me in bed with bonbons, liver and all. But you seem to keep fighting and that is inspiring.

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TEMPEST272002 5/23/2011 6:16PM

    I have had these exact same thoughts. Push through for a week and you'll likely feel differently. There is an ebb & flow to everything - you can be annoyed by this or not annoyed by this, but it changes nothing. Sigh. Pound it out on the tredmill. Nothing like a good run to clear your energy.

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KSGROTHE 5/23/2011 5:04PM

    I agree with 4A-HEALTHY-BMI - changing up your cardio might help. I hope your interview went well. Hang in there! emoticon emoticon

- Karen

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MARCHMAID 5/23/2011 5:03PM

    Jeepers, Jes. Never've seen you so bummed. Par for the course for me so it's interesting to see you do it. Sorry. Feel better. Do better. Or change your goal.

No? Your call.

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 5/23/2011 12:21PM

    Dude. Deep breaths.

I don't believe in the "eat more" theory, myself. I use my weight changes (up or down) combined with known caloric intake to estimate my requirements.

Here are some suggestions:

1) Your body is used to running. It is efficient at it. Switch up your cardio if you want to increase your burn. Can you find a spin class? Or a rowing machine? Or a Nordic Track? Or a Tae Bo class? To really work some different muscles and burn enormous numbers of calories, you could try doing hard lap intervals in a pool. And I mean really hard, balls-to-the-wall, nothing held back, gasping for breath, wondering if you're going to drown.

2) Use to figure out what your calorie requirements are. You just put in your daily weight and total calories. It does all the math for you. If you have a scale that estimates % body fat that can sometimes help too.

If what you're doing isn't working then try something else. Just do not give up, no matter what happens. Because giving up is how the backsliding happens. Your body is not the enemy. Your mind is.

Comment edited on: 5/23/2011 12:30:18 PM

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MS.ELENI 5/23/2011 12:02PM

    You will get it figured out. I have no doubt you will be back on track. Stress can really mess everyone up. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DMPRIDER 5/23/2011 11:20AM

    Ugh. Don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. But I will add Good Luck with your interview!

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    Hang in're doing awesome. I know it's frustrating, but the changes you've made are making a difference even if the scale isn't showing it. Maybe try a new type of cardio - if you've been doing the treadmill, try spinning or swimming, change it up a little. If nothing else it'll give you something a little different! Good luck!

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JONATION 5/23/2011 8:43AM

    Please stop looking over my shoulder and typing my thoughts into your blog before I can think of them.

Hang in.... óż J

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KARBIE18 5/23/2011 8:06AM

    I know you've been around here for as long as I have, and have probably tried everything when it comes to plateaus, but have you tried interval training? If changing up the nutrition hasn't worked, is there a way to change up the movement?

My heart goes out to you - I think of the 3.5 years I've been Sparkling, 3.4 years of that have been spent on one plateau or another. It's frustrating as hell, but, based on your last sentence, I have no doubt you'll bust through.

Hugs to you,

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VENISEW1 5/23/2011 7:58AM

    I often feel the same way.

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But Now it's Time to Say What I Forgot to Say

Monday, May 16, 2011

First, thank you all again for your kindnesses last week. I am actually feeling a bit better although the stress level continues to be pretty high. But I am workin' on it.

Last week, I went to NY for my Dad's 80th birthday bash (no pics yet), and saw various cousin type people and a relative who is ill (and for whom this song was chosen - so now you know what kind of a treatment that person is going to get). Specifics about the ill family member will not be forthcoming, as that person is entitled to their medical privacy, of course.

Though I gotta say, it's interesting. I rarely see my cousins, seeing as they all live in NY and NJ and we are in the wilds of oh so far North Bahstin. In all fairness, one of them has small children. I recognize that visits are not easy or cheap, and I am totally understanding that as I haven't worked in a dog's age, and I know some others haven't, either.

But we all hugged so much tighter this time. And the vibe I got was -- we may all be thinking this, consciously or unconsciously, that this might be one of the last times we can all do this together. So it's a tad bittersweet.

My father is the last male of his generation on that side, and one of the last on the other side, as well. Even his younger brother (5 years younger, I might add) is gone. Dad is IT. And he seems to take that in stride, kinda being everyone's Dad now. He doesn't just have a son and a daughter, and a son-in-law and a daughter-in-law and one grandson. Oh, no.

He's got three other daughters. And one other son. And another daughter-in-law. And another son-in-law. And another grandson. And two granddaughters. And they may call him Uncle or Great-Uncle but they come to him, and he jokes with them, as he fixes their light fixtures or fiddles with their computers or explains about refrigeration (inside family joke: if you ever have insomnia, call my father and have him explain refrigeration. It's better than Ambien. Trust me.). And he offers advice. Or sometimes he's just there, and he makes an example.

He is up at 6:30 AM like a shot, every single morning. He still walks faster than I do. He can fix things. He has over forty patents (most of which are hanging on the walls of my house). He wears bowties. He is a jokester. The belt on his pants gets higher every year and is now under his armpits. I imagine it will become a headband one of these days. He forwards every Internet warning there is. He teaches senior citizens how to use computers (and, probably, also how to send that kinda junk). He loves my mother unconditionally. He is everyone's Dad and Grandpa. He has a work ethic that is off the charts, even as he jokes that he never worked a day in his life. Well, it's not work if you love it.

He and Willie Mays turned 80 on the same day, May 6th, 2011. And to that I say, Say Hey, Dad.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANONYGIRL 5/21/2011 1:15AM

    Now call him up and read him the last 4 paragraphs!

I love my Dad to bits too. He just married a woman with heaps of kids and grandkids, and I thought I might be jealous, but I found that I'm old enough to be delighted instead that he has a big rambunctious family crawling all over him now. He's a great grandpa, and I didn't have to breed. :)

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DDOORN 5/17/2011 1:30PM

    Nice memories...thx for sharing...!


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CAROLISCIOUS 5/16/2011 9:06PM

    Your dad sounds like a true gem. I sure coulda used a refrigeration chat last night!
I'm glad you are doing better, too!

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MARCHMAID 5/16/2011 6:50PM

    You're pretty lucky to have had a dad for so long. Glad you recognize it and enjoy him. Keep it up. Mom, too. : )

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GRSMITH80 5/16/2011 6:35PM

    You have such a great dad! I'm glad you had a good time.

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PICKIE98 5/16/2011 5:49PM

    Sounds like a cross between Andy Griffith and John Candy!! You are blessed.

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    I love you Da and I love you too. Headband. Ayeee. How do you think these things up?

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KSGROTHE 5/16/2011 2:22PM

    Glad you got to spend some time with relatives! Your dad sounds great!

- Karen

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TEMPEST272002 5/16/2011 12:54PM

    Awww, what a great dad you have.

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EDDYMEESE 5/16/2011 12:32PM

    Great writing :) Your dad sounds amazing.

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MS.ELENI 5/16/2011 10:07AM

    What a wonderful tribute to your Dad.He sounds great.

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THECITYMOUSE 5/16/2011 9:39AM

    Love this entry...for so many reasons.


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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 5/16/2011 8:32AM

    Sounds great. What's his number? Just in case I have too much caffeine close to bedtime...


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SWEETZMIX 5/16/2011 8:00AM

    I loved hearing about your dad. Just sounds like an extra cool guy with lots of awesome stories! Glad you got to see him and your family. I have a decent amount of family that I know here in NY and in NJ (I know there is tons of us out there I don't know), and I wonder sometimes why don't I visit or call more. Something I need to work on, since I tend to be a loner sometimes. Either way, glad you enjoyed your day and you are blessed to still have him around to talk to you about refrigeration!

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