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You I Cannot Judge

Monday, May 03, 2010

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx9br5ISRpo

There are water restrictions in my area. This is because of a huge water main break in Weston. It's affecting 2 million people. It coincides with the first real heat wave of the year. It happened the day we ran the second 5K of the year. But I cannot see running right now. Because in order to get any water, you've got to boil it if it's not bottled. You should see the production line at my house. Pot, lid, every thermos, every jug, anything with a lid. The measuring cup with the funnel. Careful, don't spill it.

So, I need to run more. I know I need to, as the running parts of both 5Ks this year have had me laboring for breath, my chest hurting and stinging. But running isn't possible.

And don't tell me to go to my gym. They're under the water restrictions as well. Plus, well, I'm just blocked. I cannot and do not want to return there. Not now. It is not going to be a good thing to push me to go, so kindly do not.

Motivation is a tricky, elusive beast. And I know myself. If I am pushed too hard, it will retreat even further. It will hide away and cover itself with a veil.

So are you hearing me? If you want to tell me to go to the gym, tell someone else, okay? Because it will do damage here. Thank you for respecting that.

And I know, I know, I know. I don't need to hear it. I know what I need to do, what I SHOULD do, what would be a good idea, yadda yadda yadda, yeah, I get it. It is not information that I need. It is not that. You will think it is a thousand excuses, and you need to let me have them for now.

I need to regroup. And I need for you all to let me do that. Without the pushing. Without the call to go forth and do a lot of amazing things. Right now amazing is out of reach.

It is not that I am not doing anything. I ran two damned 5Ks in less than a month, for God's sake.

And I am walking, and doing ST every single day, like always. It is the going beyond that is elusive, so I am here at the minimum, living at this moment rather than at that one, the one with all of the extras.

I am reminded of the scene in the film "Office Space" where Jennifer Aniston gets fired. Her boss asks her, "What would you think of the person who only does the bare minimum?" And we are talking about a waitressing job, it's not like it's a major career for her or anything. She ends up flipping him off and leaving. And it's a little bit like that. Right now, I am going to do what, for me, is the bare minimum. Why? Because it's easy. And because it is ... what's the word? Sufficient. Sufficient means hanging around, more or less, at this weight and not losing for a while. It means taking a bit of a break from the hot and heavy treadmill.

Because, well, because I've been doing this for a few years already. I've had more than one person ask me if I'm on maintenance. No. Not really. I've got a good 35 plus to go or so. But right now I want to rest, and test the maintenance waters a tad. What is life like, to not be trying to lose? To be, well, just to be? Not to just hang around and do nothing. That, sadly, is not maintenance. That is, for pretty much all of us what we call, regaining. Regaining is not my intention here. I just want to coast a bit, let the really hard work go and see what happens.

Motivation may come back tomorrow. It may come back after vacation (coming in 10 days, thank God!). Or it may take longer than that. Yelling at it to come back, like a Drill Sergeant, is not going to do me any favors. It's time to nurture it. It's time for me to stop and take stock right now.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LESS_IS_MO 5/10/2010 9:26AM

    Hug. I hear ya. About a year ago, I hit what I felt was a good place and tried maintenance and it is tricky. It stayed a couple of months and then the slips started, and a two week slip would turn into 2 lbs gained. As I hit about 5 lbs gained, I'd try to restart the losing process, but I'd stall out with a whimper and a fizzle. It is super tough to find motivation after we've been at this a while. I am about 9 lbs up (eek!).

Anyway, we'll figure it out. There are lots of ways to live a healthy lifestyle and you might even drop some weight if you focus only on keeping the truly bad moments at bay. I hope you are stellar at being "sufficient"!

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LAB-LOVER 5/10/2010 6:42AM

    I am also just reading this now, but I KNOW you have water again. You know, I think taking a time out and maintaining is a fine thing to do. I was just contemplating the idea of a week on, a week off -- working hard to lose one week, then coasting for a week -- as way to get to goal. Because that's sort of what I've done since my vacation. I'm on Week 3, which means there's a tiger in my tank right now!

I hear you on the long time though... I frankly got a little BORED with Spark this winter -- and it's only been two years for me. I coasted. I maintained. And then... yup.. I started to gain. Before I knew it I had 18 extra pounds on the hiney, which was a major wake up call. So I've reduced that to 11, and am working to get the rest of it off. I'm too damn determined to quit before I reach goal. But none of us have any deadlines.

You're going through a tough time -- I say that you're smart to recognize that and do what YOU need for you, not what anyone else sez you need.

Hang in there! We ARE here for ya!

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FIT_TERI 5/9/2010 1:33PM

    I am behind on SP, and am just reading this. I trust the water restrictions are lifted by now...what a hassle.
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I hope you're getting what you want out of this regrouping period. You'll need to figure out what's required to maintain so why not, to your point, test the waters now? There's no deadline, no clock ticking. I'm glad you recognized that you needed this time to regroup and recharge. Sounds like a good frame of mind to have as you head toward your vacation.
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DMPRIDER 5/7/2010 9:42AM

    I don't see anything wrong with taking a little maintenance break. I think it's great that you know what you need and can express it so well. So chill out, maintain, have fun on vacation. When you are ready it will all come together again.

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CJROMB 5/7/2010 7:24AM

    You sound thirsty, downright parched in fact, for a break and some fun. Baby steps sound like they're definitely in order. A bit of sideways sliding looking for a new path though, while you catch your breath, is likely a smart move instead of trying to dig through a brick wall with you and everyne else breathing down your back.

I wonder who this message was for here, telling someone not to yell or cajole? To just give you some space and trust that you'd be ok. Was it meant for you? That's a bit what it sounds like to me. I hope you hear you if that's who it's for.

And now for a song...

You deserve a break today,
So get up, get on you way...

Uh-oh. That's not a good song for this site...

To McDonalds (where you enjoy the healthiest thing on their menu, water. Haha)

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DDOORN 5/5/2010 3:00PM

    You'll do it, you'll get there...after all that you have accomplished I'd say a "pause" and re-grouping is in order. Just know that your SparkFamily is here, we think the world of you and your achievements and we know that you'll pull through this when you're ready.

Don

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 5/5/2010 11:53AM

    Duplicate comment? How did that happen? *sigh*

Comment edited on: 5/6/2010 7:06:22 AM

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 5/5/2010 11:53AM

    You've been going at full-speed for months now, overachieving like crazy, keeping your motivation and spirits up in the face of all kinds of obstacles.

It makes sense that you might need a breather. Hang in there. Some days sufficient is just fine!
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SWEETZMIX 5/4/2010 8:37PM

    Motivation comes and goes.

Just be my friend!!

umm water restrictions NOT cool when you want to shower when you get up, shower when you are hot or in a bad mood, shower after you workout...reminds me of growing up. I swear we never had enough hot water. So we would boil, carry buckets...that's if we had water. Yup those were the days lol

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BAGGYPANTS5 5/4/2010 2:26AM

    You know yourself best. Maybe your body and mind are telling you to ease up a bit. You have enough experience not to binge or lie in bed all day! Trust yourself. Be kind to yourself. You deserve it.
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CAROLISCIOUS 5/3/2010 9:37PM

    I love your honesty.
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MS.ELENI 5/3/2010 12:06PM

    I am not going to tell you to do anything but to do what is right for you. I know exactly how you feel. I am not the lest bit worried about you. Like you said.You know what to do and when you are ready you will do it. I agree with everything you just said. Have a good day today emoticon

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VEEJAY3 5/3/2010 9:53AM

    I'm trying this "Eat Vegan for a Month" thing, and my son asked me yesterday if it wasn't just the hardest thing ever. I said that depending on the place you are in life, things like that are either impossible, or surprisingly easy. It all depends on that elusive mindset, which I can't seem to find the key to. Sometimes, things are easy ... sometimes, they're impossible ... and I think a wise person knows not to fight the upstream battle during those impossible times!

So go forth, wise, woman! Know thyself and respect the mystery!
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MARCHMAID 5/3/2010 9:11AM

    Shucks, Sugar. Take a break! Smell the flowers. You're owed.

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TELERIE 5/3/2010 9:03AM

    My fantastic friend, I won't shout at you to go to the gym! As I wrote in my latest blog, we can't be ON all the time, and it is healthy to go slowly. I'm sure you know what to do and recognize forward momentum when you see it. With all the stuff in your life right now, it's no wonder you're regrouping.

Sometimes treading water is all we can do, and you know what? - It's enough! It really is. The bare minimum for you TODAY is totally different to the bare minimum for you BEFORE. Just think about how much improvement you have seen in quite a short while - I'm convinced our minds need to catch up with our bodies from time to time.

Listen to yourself, be your own greatest fan/friend and treat yourself well. And catch the motivation/inspiration as it flies by. It IS there. emoticon

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QUEENOTHEFOREST 5/3/2010 8:54AM

    Right on schedule!

Silly Milly and I send support and licks. Well, she sends licks. I send support.

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Why Should it Matter

Monday, April 26, 2010

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvZSdCTcS-A

I, I just don't know these days any more.

I'm in a funk. It's a bad one.

I'm normally feeling good this time of year. It's Spring and, sure, my allergies are out in full swing, but there's light and warmth amid the rain and, well, it doesn't seem to be enough right now.

It's a bunch of things, and certainly one of them is being up 4 lbs. this week but that's not really it, not really. That's not the big thing.

One thing that is going on is that I'd normally blame this on TOM but there's been no TOM for some 6 weeks or so. Now, I knew this would happen at some point in time. And I'm 47 1/2 years old already. At some point, you drop the peri from perimenopause. Perhaps this is the start of that, but it's annoying as I'd lose the quick weight loss bounce (or at least the blame!) from TOM and I feel like I've got PMS 24/7. And that's not just fun for me, it's a delight for Mr. J, too, I'm sure.

I'm not so sure how I feel about all of that. I've never, really, wanted to be a mother, and I still have no such desires in that area. I am crazy maternal about a lot of younger people (usually guys, maybe I'm just a cougar, eh?), though, so there's an outlet for that. I suspect a part of it is what it really means: you can run, and you can try to hide, but the push from youth to middle age is going to happen. And for we oh so privileged women, we have a clearer delineation. Men can lie to themselves about it a lot longer. They don't have the epic demarcation.

And, it is, of course, the whole career thing. The decision on that job remains delayed. Apparently there are three of us in contention for it. One competitor and I have already interviewed. The last one interviews some time this week -- the recruiter thought it might be tomorrow but he was unsure. Hence I'm on tenterhooks even longer.

I have been feeling crazy ambivalent about it for the entire time, ever since I applied for it.

It's stable.
It's not what I want.
It's good money.
It's not what I want.
It's a convenient commute.
It's not what I want.
It's a good company.
It's not what I want.
I could keep my gym.
It's not what I want.
I could see Mr. J for lunch on occasion.
It's not what I want.
It's good for my resume.
It's not what I want.
The people are nice.
It's not what I want.
I could do some web development.
Well, that's something.

The agony of waiting and feeling weird about the whole thing has been slipping into my dreams. I've dreamt of abandoning people. I've dreamt of organizing mountains of stuff. I've dreamt of going to the wrong places. All of these dreams come served up with a nice dollop of guilt a la mode and a side of you-don't-know-how-good-you've-got-it.

I walk around (I've been avoiding/missing/not going to my gym, but I am still doing some things) and it dominates my thoughts. It lives and breathes in my consciousness. It has scooped out a big hole and taken up residence, tentacles and suckers and feeding off my emotions, which are crazy and mixed up because of what may be the end, the death, of the peri part of perimenopause.

In with all of this, I continue to work on my site, and I know I've been overly aggressive, and I know I'm being impatient and nuts but I want so badly for it to succeed. I have been in business for myself, once before, but it was over 20 years ago and I was doing freelance depositions. I hated it and didn't want to do it and was just going through the motions. Now it's different, and I am trying so hard and working seemingly all the time and it feels like nothing is coming of it. Now, I am well aware that these things take time and I am being crazy and nutty and ridiculous but at the same time my hormones and my thoughts and my jiggery insanity are saying, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Are.
We.
There.
Yet???

We're not, I'm not. No, no, no, a thousand times no.

And then there's -- ha, you thought I was done! No, no, no, gentle reader -- the month in review. I want to lay it out there quickly, remind myself that avoiding the gym is not such a hot idea.

Measurements
Bicep 12.25"
Bust 36.75"
Band 33.25"
Waist 34.25"
Belly 36.34"
Keister/Hip (on me these are the same these days) 41.75"
Thigh 20.75"

None of these are personal bests but they're all decent. Bra fit calculators are insane, though, showing me 38AA (huh?), 40D (uh, I USED to be that) and 38C (kinda, sorta, those seem to work).

Energy Levels

Stinky. No other way to put it. Feeling weird and out of sorts, and not sleeping too well, will do that to you. I'm exercising anyway although I am staying away from the gym. Some of that is feelings/laziness, but there is another, practical reason, as I was feeling a pull in the left abs area and I'm trying to not aggravate/reinjure that. Hence there is a reason for pulling away that isn't just emotion-related. I did run a 5K recently, and did well. Another one is set for this Saturday. I love them and I will do them. But the euphoria, sadly, does not last.

Clothes, etc.

Things fit just fine, weird bra calculators notwithstanding. I fit into everything I own except for one size 10 skirt which is kinda small because it's lined. I can zip it but it's tight across the, er, across what I have in common with J. Lo.

What Else?

Well, you know it all. I don't know what I need, if it's a kick in the keister or a day in bed, but more likely it's just for time to pass. Patience is something that I have been practicing for so long that I'm fresh out. Sorry, no more for today. And I'm seeing that going around, my friends here in particular are tired, feel worn out and done even if they're not, impatient, impractical, imp imp impish, perhaps. Being out of sorts seems to be galloping through my networks, and not just here but on the site I manage, too, and among my fellow networkers. The area is poised to start hiring again, big time, but no company seems to want to go first.

Better idea: don't kick ME in the keister. Kick THEM.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARCHMAID 4/28/2010 8:08AM

    What can I say? Seems to be something going around and we've both caught it. 20 years apart. LOL

Since I did a surgical menopause at 38, I have no idea what that might be like, but I think you're on the right track thinking about the patience factor. I'm fresh out myself so we'll have to find a new supply somewhere.

Take care, haiku pal o' mine. emoticon

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LAB-LOVER 4/28/2010 7:11AM

    Sorry to hear that you've been down... maybe it's time to change something up a bit. A new challenge? How about a 5 miler as the next step up from a 5K? I know what you mean by races not giving you a lasting lift anymore. Today is a bee--you--ti--ful day... can you get some Vitamin D and take a long walk outside. Long walks are almost always good for my head.

I'm still in peri and wanting IT to end, but I suppose that I will be less sure about that when it actually happens.

And on the job thing.... life's short... if you're having those doubts, maybe its really NOT what you want... so hard to turn away a bird in the hand for one in a bush, but maybe...

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SWEETZMIX 4/27/2010 5:56PM

    The job is not what you want, but it's something. The worst part is waiting. To be honest, the job I am doing...I DO NOT WANT TO DO, but it's at a place where I can eventually do what I want. It has tons of opportunities.

I have been avoiding the gym too and working out all together. Like I will do a little something here and there, but that's it. I don't know what has gotten into me. The boyfriend thinks it's the new job. Whatever.....

Hope all is well!

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DDOORN 4/27/2010 7:39AM

    Hey...! Sorry so late to your blog...!

PUSH yourself into some ACTION! It can be one of the BEST things for you overall right now!

You are sounding so FROZEN and when I get that way nothing helps as much as MOVING!

Kudos to you to lay it all right out there...your struggles...NOT an easy thing to do!

Keep coming back!

Don

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NYAYNE 4/27/2010 7:24AM

    Will be three years in July since I had "IT" I do have to say it made for weight gain. I wish I had had more signs of peri so I could have been more proactive.

You can buy an OTC FSH test. I don't how it works but years ago the blood test for ovulation had to be done on day three. http://www.womentowomen.com/menopau
se/fshtests.aspx

Maybe I will just have to bring a couple of young Bostons down for a walk. I bet that will get you out of the blues.

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CAROLISCIOUS 4/26/2010 9:00PM

    Jes...I had my pap smear today...doc says I am officially in menopause. No more perimenopause for me. I suspect it has been that way for a while. Your blog is so honest. I hope the funk passes quickly and you get a job that you love. Don't pass up opportinities to work out...it helps me on so many levels...even when I don't want to do it so much that I think I hate it. When I am done...I love it again.
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QUEENOTHEFOREST 4/26/2010 8:11PM

    Hi Hon

I got help with the transition from Chinese herbs and acupuncture. It was dramatic. One treatment and all hell broke loose. I was normal again for 3 more years and without discomfort for the first time in my life. Then it just disappeared. Also I drank 2 cups of soy milk every day in a frozen smoothie made with a frozen banana. If I forgot for even one day I got a flash. If I drank my little concoction I was relieved.

I'm not surprised you are in a funk. Sounds like you are beyond uncomfortable about being unemployed. While I wish you the best and your heart's desire I kinda hope something that you really want comes along before you get snapped up in a job that you will not love.

It is great that you are able to run in races. Amazing in fact.

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 4/26/2010 1:06PM

    I skipped 3 months recently. It felt like one looooooooong PMS session, which in some ways I guess it was!

Hang in there. I never wanted to have kids either, but you're right it's weird to have a body system shut down in such an obvious way. Most of the time I feel like I'm in my 20s or 30s, with all the energy and activities I'm doing; so it brings me up short to have to confront this issue.

In the end, just like with the losing all along, it doesn't matter so much what you think or how you feel, but what you DO. So weather these times the best you can by getting out there and DOING what you know needs to be done (nutrition, exercise, etc. etc.) I wish I could say I always follow that advice myself, but it wouldn't be true. But I do try to remind myself about it, and when I do follow it, I start to feel better.

Hang in there. You've been through a lot, lately. The intersection between hopes and reality can sometimes be painful.
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MS.ELENI 4/26/2010 12:31PM

    I know you have seen lots of doctors lately but have you been to a gynocologist.A good check up might be in order and could help some of your hormone action and feelings.
The rest seems to be tied in with the uncertain future. If you can afford to you need to wait for job you want as it is very plain you do not want this job you are waiting to hear about. Maybe a day of doing nothing but resting would actually be a good idea. Rest your body and mind.
Look at all you have done.You will get thru this bump in the road. Be kind to your self. emoticon

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The Devil's Not in the Details

Monday, April 19, 2010

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Maz6j
Fdvn2Q


This was another one of my famous patented mixed-up weeks. I began with another small gain. Eek, up almost 8 lbs. since the all-time low. Which was only 2 weeks earlier. Gawd.

Okay, regroup. Move on. Think happy thoughts.

Phone call.

We got your resume. Love your background. Come in and interview.

Um, sure.

It's a Data Analyst job.

I swore I wouldn't be doing any more data analysis. Or at least no more as my primary function.

Ah, well, but we have a lot of $$ for you (I didn't tell them the part about not wanting to do DA work any more, of course. Mama didn't raise no foo'). And the location is perfect. And you've worked here before and the people are always nice. And Management is decent. And we want someone to do some Web Dev while they're at it.

Which is what I've been doing, and enjoying, and would definitely enhance the whole Social Media Specialist career I'm trying to start.

So, sure. We set it for Friday.

Tuesday was a wacky evening. I went to a networking event for Robotics. Now, I know diddly about the field, but every company needs some sort of social media marketing. I handed out business cards. I smiled at the earnest young men, all young enough to be my kids. I chatted amiably with the dude from the press (he actually had the best leads for me).

Wednesday was 2 more networking events. Cards leapt out of my hands. Oh, would you work freelance? Sure. Hmm.

Thursday was a lunch in Waltham. Lovely people. More cards. Steered clear of the cole slaw (it was a barbecue joint) in favor of salad and pulled chicken. Who needs dressing when you've got hot sauce? Talked to new friends and old, my weight loss came up. Was called "inspiring". Um, okay.

Friday. Interview. I think it went well. I should hear some time early this week. I am guessing Wednesday at the latest.

Then yesterday was the first 5K of the year. I ran it in 40:31. See: www.coolrunning.com/results/1
0/ma/Apr18_Luv2Ru_set1.shtml
. Yes, kids, I was dead last. But I don't care. It was the first race of the year. I was hoping to break 50 minutes and I nearly broke 40. It was the second-best performance of my little ole racing career.

Oh and I'd lost 2 lbs. when I weighed in this morning.

What's next? Well, hearing about the interview, of course. Will I take it if offered? Yes. It's a 6-month contract so, unless I'm renewed (this company renews a lot, but you never, ever know), I'm back looking in October or November or so. In the meantime, more experience, more resume enhancement, more web development and more, well, cash.

And I'll keep going to whatever networking events I can, keep writing and pumping out articles, keep putting myself out there. The scattered business cards are like seeds. Some will find purchase in the soil. Many will not. But in the meantime, while I wait for my garden to grow, I water it and feed it -- and get my salads from Star Market.

I'll let you know either way about the interview. In the meantime, my next 5K is May 1st. :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUSSO51 4/21/2010 9:21PM

    I wish you luck. I also have an interview coming up. I am also brand new to Sparks. I have no will power and feel like this is just another route for failure. I hope not. good luck emoticon

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RUSSO51 4/21/2010 9:21PM

    I wish you luck. I also have an interview coming up. I am also brand new to Sparks. I have no will power and feel like this is just another route for failure. I hope not. good luck emoticon

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LAB-LOVER 4/20/2010 10:04PM

    Good luck -- what's the next race?
-LL

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MITEJOE 4/20/2010 1:18AM

    Good luck on the job. Data Analyst is a part of market research, and nowadays, market research and social media are beginning to blend together on occasion (for instance, if the data is culled from a social media source). So, it certainly won't hurt your career to get more data analysis under your belt!

And if you need another job in 6 months time, the good news is there will be MORE jobs out there in 6 months as we continue to pull out of the recession.

It's all good!

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DDOORN 4/19/2010 10:55PM

    Sounds like a lot of great momentum...!

Crossing all my digits on the interview...good for you to be jumping into the 5K circuit!

And SUPER to nail a couple more pounds!

Don

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MS.ELENI 4/19/2010 10:02PM

    Awesome run.Good luck on the job hunt.Sounds like you are doing well.

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CAROLISCIOUS 4/19/2010 9:18PM

    emoticon
Congrats on the run and the interview...sounds like an opportunity in the right direction.

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SWEETZMIX 4/19/2010 4:37PM

    emoticon on the 5K!! Who cares if you are last b/c you finished!! I know many people, including myself can not run that far (yet)!! Good luck with the job offer. Like you said, you are not no fool. So if it works out, it pays, and you said decent. You can still do what you like to do on the side and it's only for 6 months for now. So you can keep networking, you never know...plus they are looking for some web development!! Always think positive! Good luck!!!!!!!!

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VEEJAY3 4/19/2010 10:18AM

    You are just the poster picture for networking and job hunting, I think! You're always out there (weren't you even "out there" when you should have been lying down and recovering????) making it work.

I admire you. A lot!
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MARCHMAID 4/19/2010 9:21AM

    Seems like a good things are starting to happen--also glad you're racing. Lifts the spirits I guess--I'm going to try a little biking this week. If I don't I'll go stark raving mad! I'm having a devilish time myself--not enough sleep again, but the end is near and next month I'm free for a while. Opposite problem from yours I guess.

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QUEENOTHEFOREST 4/19/2010 9:05AM

    Sounds like good news all around. And there is definitely a theme here. You keep at it. Keep moving. In everything you do. And you are ultimately successful. It is a joy to watch.

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Either Way You're Bound to Function

Monday, April 12, 2010

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnwRp
IqBLaU


Things are percolating along.

I do web development every blessed day now. No rest for the weary, no weekends off. Of course I've only been doing this for a couple of weeks. But it's a lot to do.

This is because - ha! - I have come to realize that, for the scope of my actual ambitions, I ned a staff of something like 50 people. Artists, designers, SEO (search engine optimization) experts, content managers and creators, web developers, PR people, a social media specialist to manage Twitter and Facebook (this is the actual job I am really looking for these days), etc.

God.

I'm just one person.

So excuse me if I'm more than a little nutty. Or, at least, more than usual.

Although all this activity did give me one serious bounce: I had less time yesterday when I went to the Reservoir, so I ended up running about 1/3 or so of the time. And that lopped a nice 6 minutes off my 2.5K time. This is helpful as we have the first 5K of the year next Sunday. Eek. I am a lot less prepared than I was in October of last year, but I am infinitely better prepared than I was last June.

Hence I figure my time will not be super-fabulous but I am hoping to blow away last June (1 hour, 4 minutes and some miscellaneous seconds). I figure anything under 50 minutes will be great.

I also started up Pilates again. This is simple at-home stuff and focuses on the abs. My abs kill me while I do it. This is not because it's so hard; it's actually fairly gentle. That's more because of the continuing aftermath of surgery. But I'm improving.

Another recent idea is to get a kettlebell. I've been pricing them and like a particular 15-pounder on Amazon. I already have a good 35 pounds' worth of weights in here so that would up it to 50, although I wouldn't hold them all at the same time (it's not possible; no one's hands would be big enough). I'd also like to do the kettlebell kind of stuff where you really swing it around although I suspect, with my luck, it will fly out the window (thereby breaking said window), and then go sailing to the ground where it promptly clonks some random passerby in the noggin.

With my luck, this random passerby will be the Hiring Manager for some sort of major massively wonderful dream job I haven't even heard of yet. Hmm. I better wear the weight lifting gloves when I swing the kettlebell around (assuming I get it at all).

In other news, I'm waiting to hear whether I'm going to be interviewed for a particular job. Now, I wait to hear all the time, but this is something where the recruiter has called me regarding my application. Hence it's further along than most. This is a place where I used to work, it would be data analysis but they want someone with (aha!) web development experience, plus I have great internal references. I'll give the guy a day or so and then send an email or call.

It's not a perfect situation but it's a good/not bad one. Plus making some $$ for a while (it's a temp position) would be of use right now. In the meantime, networking goes on. And I have another date with the Reservoir today.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWEETZMIX 4/13/2010 9:34AM

    You are one busy woman. I found a job that I decided to take. ummm I blogged about it. It's at Montefiore Medical Center, every heard of it. They have like 3 hospitals including Albert Einstein which is a teaching hospital with Einstein School of Medicine. So it's a good opportunity, now I am a nervous wreck lol

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DDOORN 4/12/2010 10:59PM

    Crossing all my digits re: your interview...!

Keep the SPARK! :-)

Don

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CAROLISCIOUS 4/12/2010 9:26PM

    So I won't be stalking around YOUR windows anytime soon. Rooting for you on the job and the run.

Comment edited on: 4/12/2010 9:27:13 PM

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DIASTER 4/12/2010 6:17PM

  Good luck with the interview, rather sounds like it is yours for the taking and hey $ is nice plus who knows where it might lead.

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ONECOOKIETWO 4/12/2010 1:51PM

    Jes,
it sounds like you're perking along at a right good clip! (mixed metaphors?)
Last time I checked up on you, you were facing surgery and didn't have a job, so things look bright!
Hearing you talk about using a kettleball in your office gives me a chill, though. No matter how good you are at lifting and swinging, accidents can happen, and you could not only kill someone but destroy some expensive computers.
Are you sure you have to have a kettleball in that office, girlfriend? Please think twice...
yer bud,
Marilee

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MS.ELENI 4/12/2010 1:33PM

    Nice to see an update. Looks like you are progrssing nicely. loved your little narrative about what could happen with kettleball.Cute.

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PONYFARMER 4/12/2010 1:31PM

    Wow, friend you are knocking it out of the *window, er park I mean.

I love your enthusiasm!

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I Cannot Lie

Monday, April 05, 2010

www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4he79krseU

Okay, yeah, I know about the song.

I was actually considering a Gilbert and Sullivan version of it (parody of course), but that was getting even weirder. So here's the original. Slap on the headphones if you're at work. Unless you don't mind your boss giving you that look. You know that look, the one where the boss thinks, man, you're one weird employee.

Anyway, uh, where was I?

Oh yeah.

Today's entry.

It's been an eclectic week. I've been working on my site a lot. Trying new things, adding pages, correcting things, working on design, etc. I've got a ton to do. I don't want it to look too amateurish. But at the same time, heh, I'm no web developer. But I'm realizing: I'm everything. Not just the developer even though I've never thought of myself that way. I'm also my own press agent, my own employment counselor, my own, God, everything.

So excuse me if I'm low on time.

Every day is a meeting. Or it's website work. Or blogging. Or networking. Or or or ....

This is why I'm going to contact my gym and tell them to suspend my membership. I'm just not going these days. Plus the weather is beautiful. Why stay inside and walk on a treadmill, when I'd rather walk around the Reservoir? Plus, unfortunately, getting to the gym is a three hour round-trip production when conditions are good. When they aren't, it's more like four. And I just can't afford that time right now. It's not that I don't want to exercise (although I've kept inside and rested recently because of the mega monster cold from hell which I'm only now finally getting over). It's that I need to make the best possible use of my time. And three or so hours on a bus or trolley is not it.

So, what else is happening? Oh, and why the song???

The song is because, and this is odd, I've been complaining lately that it hurts to sit on a hard chair or bench for too long, say, two hours or so. I mentioned this to Mr. J and he laughed and said, it's because I've lost much of my, ahem, padding. I look at myself, and I don't see it. And I'm a good 60 (yes, that number is correct) pounds heavier than I was in High School and I didn't feel this way. Something is happening. My body is reconfiguring again.

I had a good weight loss week last time, but this time it was abominable. I regained almost 7 pounds. Now, since I had lost 4 last week, I'm mainly just evening out. But it's still odd. And, heh, yeah, that comes with the, erm, sitting pain. My measurements have not changed significantly. Where am I keeping it all? Certainly not in my, ahem, back.

Perhaps I've got really beefy toes.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

QUEENOTHEFOREST 4/7/2010 6:59AM

    Yes Beefy toes. That is my problem too.

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SWEETZMIX 4/6/2010 8:45AM

    emoticon Beefy toes. Reminds me of hearing myself complain to Sherard that I have sausages for fingers, even though my hands and fingers are way smaller than his.

I totally get why you would suspend the gym membership. It's too far and you have things to do. If it was an hour trip back and forth, I would say keep it. But you are better off saving your money, and you are right it's too nice to be inside. I went out for Easter and just walked around. It has been sO nice out.

Keep working hard, The weight gain is nothing, you have been sick. Like you said, it is all going to even out.

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KARBIE18 4/6/2010 6:47AM

    Beefy toes - LOL!

I've noticed that sitting is uncomfortable, too, but I'd rather have that then the extra padding. I did consider getting a new computer chair, but I probably don't need to be on the computer more. Yep, when the butt's asleep, it's probably time to move!

Walking outside sounds like a great plan to me! Keep it up!

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TELERIE 4/6/2010 2:42AM

    Ahh, those beefy toes!! emoticon

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ZENMIND7 4/6/2010 12:00AM

    I thought I was just weird because I never had much butt to begin with, but yeah, I can totally relate to hard chairs hurting now that you've lost some weight!

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MITEJOE 4/5/2010 11:45PM

    Ha ha...gotta laugh! My home office chair, well, I have a soft pillow there...that darn seat is just too darn hard! And it's a good quality Eames office chair, vintage 70's...a VERY expensive chair when it was new (I bought used several years ago).

Anyway, I was curious about suspending a gym membership...had no idea one could do that. I haven't gone in ages. I get my exercise mainly from walking outdoors.

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MS.ELENI 4/5/2010 11:42PM

    Always enjoy your blog.
There is no reason you can't get a good exercise program at home. And no traveling time.
I am sure your web site will be the bomb when you get it completed

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CAROLISCIOUS 4/5/2010 10:35PM

    Beefy toes are easier to grab when you read...

I have trouble sitting without padding...a new thing for me, too.

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DDOORN 4/5/2010 9:01PM

    Our bodies sure do FEEL differently these days, don't they...? :-)

Don

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THECITYMOUSE 4/5/2010 8:46PM

    Beefy toes....you just know how to make me LOL, no matter what!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KSGROTHE 4/5/2010 8:44PM

    That song made me laugh! I've heard the song before, or at least parodies of it, but I don't remember ever seeing that video. emoticon The song is parodied in one of the Shrek movies by Eddie Murphy as Donkey singing it about his dragon girlfriend. I wonder if that video is available somewhere.

Anyway, it sounds like your website is coming along. Sorry to hear that you've lost your backside. I remember my grandma complaining about there only being one comfortable chair left in her house since she'd lost her padding. (She used to be heavy and lost weight as she got older.) I take it Mr. J. isn't like Sir Mixalot and doesn't mind that you've lost your "big butt"?

Keep up the good work! You're doing great!

- Karen

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KUNGFOOD 4/5/2010 8:41PM

    Yes, bring on the warm weather. Hot blishtering heeeeaat.

Fresh air!

It is a strange thing about weight loss ...the redistribution and evening out. I know for me a kind of 8-9 week cycle. I can get used to buying smaller single-digit clothing.

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GEE-KNEE 4/5/2010 8:37PM

    My two only complaints about losing weight are I get cold easier, and sitting on hard surfaces hurt my rear. I figure it's a fair trade because I had way more complaints about being obese. Don't worry about the 7 pound gain, it happens. You'll lose it and more.

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MARCHMAID 4/5/2010 8:16PM

    Well, you do know the answer: don't get fixated on the scale. Heck humidity affects it! So, do what you know works, get some exercise, etc.

BTW I'm doing really well--taking so many muscle, joint, strength and well being through swimming classes (not to mention allergy injections, knee injections and assorted health maintenance appointments) that I hardly have time to work--or cook or eat! Not bad, eh?

emoticon

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